The Science of Trust: Emotional Attunement for Couples
John M. Gottman - 2011
In this groundbreaking book, he presents a new approach to understanding and changing couples: a fundamental social skill called “emotional attunement,” which describes a couple’s ability to fully process and move on from negative emotional events, ultimately creating a stronger relationship.Gottman draws from this longitudinal research and theory to show how emotional attunement can downregulate negative affect, help couples focus on positive traits and memories, and even help prevent domestic violence. He offers a detailed intervention devised to cultivate attunement, thereby helping couples connect, respect, and show affection. Emotional attunement is extended to tackle the subjects of flooding, the story we tell ourselves about our relationship, conflict, personality, changing relationships, and gender. Gottman also explains how to create emotional attunement when it is missing, to lay a foundation that will carry the relationship through difficult times.Gottman encourages couples to cultivate attunement through awareness, tolerance, understanding, non-defensive listening, and empathy. These qualities, he argues, inspire confidence in couples, and the sense that despite the inevitable struggles, the relationship is enduring and resilient.This book, an essential follow-up to his 1999 The Marriage Clinic, offers therapists, students, and researchers detailed intervention for working with couples, and offers couples a roadmap to a stronger future together.
Simply Said: Communicating Better at Work and Beyond
Jay Sullivan - 2016
Do you ever feel as though your message hasn't gotten across? Do details get lost along the way? Have tense situations ever escalated unnecessarily? Do people buy into your ideas? It all comes down to communication. We all communicate, but few of us do it well. From tough presentations to everyday transactions, there is no scenario that cannot be improved with better communication skills. This book presents an all-encompassing guide to improving your communication, based on the Exec|Comm philosophy: we are all better communicators when we focus focus less on ourselves and more on other people. More than just a list of tips, this book connects skills with scenarios and purpose to help you hear and be heard. You'll learn the skills to deliver great presentations and clear and persuasive messages, handle difficult conversations, effectively manage, lead with authenticity and more, as you discover the secrets of true communication. Communication affects every interaction every day. Why not learn to do it well? This book provides comprehensive guidance toward getting your message across, and getting the results you want. Shift your focus from yourself to other people Build a reputation as a good listener Develop your written and oral communications for the greatest impact Inspire and influence others Communicate more effectively in any business or social situation Did that email come across as harsh? Did you offend someone unintentionally? Great communication skills give you the power to influence someone's thinking and guide them to where you need them to be. Simply Said teaches you the critical skills that make you more effective in business and in life.
Start: Punch Fear in the Face, Escape Average and Do Work that Matters
Jon Acuff - 2013
But three things have changed the path to success:Boomers are realizing that a lot of the things they were promised aren't going to materialize, and they have started second and third careers.Technology has given access to an unprecedented number of people who are building online empires and changing their lives in ways that would have been impossible years ago.The days of "success first, significance later," have ended.While none of the stages can be skipped, they can be shortened and accelerated. There are only two paths in life: average and awesome. The average path is easy because all you have to do is nothing. The awesome path is more challenging, because things like fear only bother you when you do work that matters. The good news is "Start" gives readers practical, actionable insights to be more awesome, more often.
Just Listen: Discover the Secret to Getting Through to Absolutely Anyone
Mark Goulston - 2009
Just Listen does this by providing simple but powerful techniques readers can use to really get through to people. You’ll learn how to: make a powerful and positive first impression; listen effectively; make even a total stranger (potential client) feel understood; talk an angry or aggressive person away from an instinctual, unproductive reaction and toward a more rational mindset; and achieve buy-in--the linchpin of all persuasion, negotiation, and sales. Whether they're coworkers, friends, strangers, or enemies, the first make-or-break step in persuading anyone to do anything is getting them to hear you out. With this groundbreaking book, readers will be able to master the fine but critical art of effective communication.
Captivate: The Science of Succeeding with People
Vanessa Van Edwards - 2017
As a human behavior hacker, Vanessa Van Edwards created a research lab to study the hidden forces that drive us. And she’s cracked the code. In Captivate, she shares shortcuts, systems, and secrets for taking charge of your interactions at work, at home, and in any social situation. These aren’t the people skills you learned in school. This is the first comprehensive, science backed, real life manual on how to captivate anyone—and a completely new approach to building connections. Just like knowing the formulas to use in a chemistry lab, or the right programming language to build an app, Captivate provides simple ways to solve people problems. You’ll learn, for example… · How to work a room: Every party, networking event, and social situation has a predictable map. Discover the sweet spot for making the most connections.· How to read faces: It’s easier than you think to speed-read facial expressions and use them to predict people’s emotions.· How to talk to anyone: Every conversation can be memorable—once you learn how certain words generate the pleasure hormone dopamine in listeners.When you understand the laws of human behavior, your influence, impact, and income will increase significantly. What’s more, you will improve your interpersonal intelligence, make a killer first impression, and build rapport quickly and authentically in any situation—negotiations, interviews, parties, and pitches. You’ll never interact the same way again.
Games People Play
Eric Berne - 1964
More than five million copies later, Dr. Eric Berne’s classic is as astonishing–and revealing–as it was on the day it was first published. This anniversary edition features a new introduction by Dr. James R. Allen, president of the International Transactional Analysis Association, and Kurt Vonnegut’s brilliant Life magazine review from 1965.We play games all the time–sexual games, marital games, power games with our bosses, and competitive games with our friends. Detailing status contests like “Martini” (I know a better way), to lethal couples combat like “If It Weren’t For You” and “Uproar,” to flirtation favorites like “The Stocking Game” and “Let’s You and Him Fight,” Dr. Berne exposes the secret ploys and unconscious maneuvers that rule our intimate lives.Explosive when it first appeared, Games People Play is now widely recognized as the most original and influential popular psychology book of our time. It’s as powerful and eye-opening as ever.
Working with Bitches: Identify the Eight Types of Office Mean Girls and Rise Above Workplace Nastiness
Meredith Fuller - 2013
But you can usually sense when something's “off”—particularly if you're completely stressed out and hate the job you used to love. Let's face it, ladies: there are plenty of nasty, manipulative, and destructive women in the workplace who fly under the radar while ruthless alpha males get all the bad press.In Working with Bitches, psychologist Meredith Fuller offers practical advice on how to recognize and manage difficult women at work. Dr. Fuller combines actual cases with tips that women can use right away to defuse even the worst situations. Readers will learn how to deal with the eight types of “mean girls” they might face in the office and find powerful reassurance that they are not alone.
Ask More: The Power of Questions to Open Doors, Uncover Solutions, and Spark Change
Frank Sesno - 2017
But few of us know how to question in a methodical way. Emmy-award-winning journalist and media expert Frank Sesno aims to change that with
Ask More
.From questions that cement relationships, to those that help us plan for the future, each chapter in
Ask More
explores a different type of inquiry. By the end of the book, you’ll know what to ask and when, what you should listen for, and what you can expect as the outcome. Packed with illuminating interviews, the book explains:● How the Gates Foundation used strategic questions to plan its battle against malaria● How turnaround expert Steve Miller uses diagnostic questions to get to the heart of a company’s problems● How NPR’s Terry Gross uses empathy questions to dig deeper● How journalist Anderson Cooper uses confrontational questions to hold people accountable● How creative questions animated a couple of techie dreamers to brainstorm UberBoth intriguing and inspiring,
Ask More
shows how questions convey interest, feed curiosity, and reveal answers that can change the course of both your professional and personal life.
How to Talk to Anyone, Anytime, Anywhere: The Secrets of Good Communication
Larry King - 1994
Here is a way to overcome these communication challenges. HOW TO TALK TO ANYONE, ANYTIME, ANYWHERE is the key to building confidence and improving communication skills. Written by Larry King, this guide provides simple and practical advice to help make communication easier, more successful, and even more enjoyable. Anecdotes from a life spent talking--on television, radio, and in person,--add to the fun and value of the book. Learn what famous talkers say and how the way they say it makes them so successful.Lessons include: How to overcome shyness and put other people at ease How to choose an appropriate conversation topic for any situation How to ace a job interview, run a meeting, and mingle at a cocktail party What the most successful conversationalists have in common The one great question you can ask to enhance your conversation with anyone, anytime, anywhere
Play: How It Shapes the Brain, Opens the Imagination, and Invigorates the Soul
Stuart M. Brown Jr. - 2009
Or the blissful abandon of a golden retriever racing with glee across a lawn. This is the joy of play. By definition, play is purposeless and all-consuming. And, most important, it’s fun. As we become adults, taking time to play feels like a guilty pleasure—a distraction from “real” work and life. But as Dr. Stuart Brown illustrates, play is anything but trivial. It is a biological drive as integral to our health as sleep or nutrition. In fact, our ability to play throughout life is the single most important factor in determining our success and happiness. Dr. Brown has spent his career studying animal behavior and conducting more than six thousand “play histories” of humans from all walks of life—from serial murderers to Nobel Prize winners. Backed by the latest research, Play explains why play is essential to our social skills, adaptability, intelligence, creativity, ability to problem solve, and more. Play is hardwired into our brains—it is the mechanism by which we become resilient, smart, and adaptable people. Beyond play’s role in our personal fulfillment, its benefits have profound implications for child development and the way we parent, education and social policy, business innovation, productivity, and even the future of our society. From new research suggesting the direct role of three-dimensional-object play in shaping our brains to animal studies showing the startling effects of the lack of play, Brown provides a sweeping look at the latest breakthroughs in our understanding of the importance of this behavior. A fascinating blend of cutting-edge neuroscience, biology, psychology, social science, and inspiring human stories of the transformative power of play, this book proves why play just might be the most important work we can ever do.
Click: The Magic of Instant Connections
Ori Brafman - 2010
You meet someone new—at a party or at work—and you just hit it off. There is an instant sense of camaraderie. In a word, you “click.” From the bestselling authors of Sway, Click is a fascinating psychological investigation of the forces behind what makes us click with certain people, or become fully immersed in whatever activity or situation we’re involved in. From two co-workers who fall head over heels for each other while out to dinner and are married a month later (and fifteen years later remain just as in love), to a team of scientists who changed the world with the magic of their invention, these kinds of peak experiences, when our senses are completely focused on the moment, are something that individuals—and companies—strive to achieve. After all, when you’re in the “zone,” you’re happier and more productive. Why is it that we click in certain situations and with certain people, but not with others? Can this kind of magical connection be consciously encouraged? Is there a way to create such peak experiences, whether on a date or in your job? According to Ori and Rom Brafman, there is. In a powerful, story-driven narrative that weaves together cutting-edge research in psychology and sociology, the Brafmans explore what it means to “click”: the common factors present when our brain and senses are fully engaged. They identify five “accelerators” that increase the likelihood of these kinds of magic connections in our work and relationships. From actors vying for a role on a popular TV series to police officers negotiating with hostage takers, we learn how one can foster an environment where we can click with another person and shape our thinking, behavior, and emotions. A fascinating journey into how we engage with the world around us, Click will transform our thinking about those moments when we are in the zone and everything seems to fall into place. Acclaim for Sway:“A provocative new book about the psychological forces that lead us to disregard facts or logic and behave in surprisingly irrational ways.” –New York Times “A unique and compulsively readable look at unseen behavioral trends.” –Fortune"A breathtaking book that will challenge your every thought, Sway hovers above the intersection of Blink and Freakonomics."--Tom Rath, coauthor of the New York Times #1 bestseller How Full Is Your Bucket?“[An] engaging journey through the workings—and failings—of the mind…Their stories of senselessness…are as fascinating as the lessons we learn from them.” –Fast Company"Count me swayed--but in this instance by the pull of entirely rational forces. Ori and Rom Brafman have done a terrific job of illuminating deep-seated tendencies that skew our behavior in ways that can range from silly to deadly. We'd be fools not to learn what they have to teach us."--Robert B. Cialdini, author of New York Times bestseller Influence"If you think you know how you think, you'd better think again! Take this insightful, delightful trip to the sweet spot where economics, psychology, and sociology converge, and you'll discover how our all-too-human minds actually work."--Alan M. Webber, founding editor of Fast Company
You've Got 8 Seconds
Paul Hellman - 2017
The average attention span has dropped to 8 seconds.So whether you're presenting to a large audience, meeting one-on-one, talking on the phone, or even sending an email, you've got to engage others fast, before they tune you out , , , maybe forever.Your challenge: to get heard, get remembered & get results.Through fast, fun, actionable tips, You've Got 8 Seconds explains what works and what doesn't, what's forgettable and what sticks. With stories, scripts, and examples of good and bad messages, the book reveals three main strategies to get heard in a noisy world:FOCUS: Design a strong message--then say it in seconds.VARIETY: Make routine information come alive.PRESENCE: Convey confidence and command attention.You'll discover practical techniques, including the Fast-Focus Method™, which the author uses to help senior executives make their messages stick; how to stand out in the first seconds of a presentation; and 10 actions that spell executive presence.The next time you speak, others will either tune in or tune out. You've got 8 seconds--make them count!
How to Talk to Anyone: 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships
Leil Lowndes - 1998
What is their "Midas touch?"What it boils down to is a more skillful way of dealing with people.The author has spent her career teaching people how to communicate for success. In her book How to Talk to Anyone (Contemporary Books, October 2003) Lowndes offers 92 easy and effective sure-fire success techniques-- she takes the reader from first meeting all the way up to sophisticated techniques used by the big winners in life. In this information-packed book you'll find:9 ways to make a dynamite first impression 14 ways to master small talk, "big talk," and body language 14 ways to walk and talk like a VIP or celebrity 6 ways to sound like an insider in any crowd 7 ways to establish deep subliminal rapport with anyone 9 ways to feed someone's ego (and know when NOT to!) 11 ways to make your phone a powerful communications tool 15 ways to work a party like a politician works a room 7 ways to talk with tigers and not get eaten aliveIn her trademark entertaining and straight-shooting style, Leil gives the techniques catchy names so you'll remember them when you really need them, including: "Rubberneck the Room," "Be a Copyclass," "Come Hither Hands," "Bare Their Hot Button," "The Great Scorecard in the Sky," and "Play the Tombstone Game," for big success in your social life, romance, and business.How to Talk to Anyone, which is an update of her popular book, Talking the Winner's Way (see the 5-star reviews of the latter) is based on solid research about techniques that work!By the way, don't confuse How to Talk to Anyone with one of Leil's previous books, How to Talk to Anybody About Anything. This one is completely different!
How to Speak How to Listen
Mortimer J. Adler - 1983
Adler gives a short course in effective communication, invaluable for salespeople, negotiators, teachers, and families seeking better communication among themselves.
HBR's 10 Must Reads on Negotiation (with bonus article "15 Rules for Negotiating a Job Offer" by Deepak Malhotra)
Harvard Business Review - 2019
We've combed through hundreds of Harvard Business Review articles and selected the most important ones to help you clinch successful deals in business and beyond.This book will inspire you to:
Control the negotiation even before you enter the room
Understand your counterpart's position and gain their trust
Keep your negotiations from becoming confrontations
Understand the rules of negotiating across cultures
Find ways to expand the pie for all involved
Set the stage for a healthy relationship after the ink has dried
Know when to walk away from a deal