Why Are We Yelling?: The Art of Productive Disagreement


Buster Benson - 2019
    Conflict, or the fear of it, can be devastating. And the process of minimizing, deflecting, or avoiding difficult people can leave you brimming with repressed emotions.But as this powerful book argues, conflict doesn't have to be unpleasant. In fact, properly channeled, conflict can be the most powerful tool we have at our disposal for deepening relationships, solving problems, and coming up with new ideas.As the mastermind behind some of the highest-performing teams at Amazon, Twitter, and Slack, Buster Benson spent decades facilitating hard conversations in stressful environments. He found that even smart, eloquent people struggled to stay calm and keep their heads clear when differences of opinion arose. So he set out to find a better way to argue, staging a succession of experiments and informal debates, and studying the participants closely. He took note of the scripts people defaulted to and the chain reactions they caused. Slowly, patterns began to emerge.Buster's findings shattered his assumptions about what makes some arguments productive and others not, and dramatically improved his relationships at work, with his wife, and with strangers online. In this book, Buster reveals the psychological underpinnings of awkward, unproductive conflict, and the critical habits anyone can learn to avoid it. Armed with a deeper understanding of how arguments work and why, you'll be able to:* Remain confident when you're put on the spot* Diffuse tense moments with a few strategic questions* Facilitate creative solutions even when your team has radically different perspectives* Get through to the most stubborn people by understanding their motivationsFreed of your fear of disagreement, you'll find yourself eager to engage with intimidating people and uncomfortable ideas. You'll end up having fewer repetitive, predictable fights, not because you're avoiding or squashing them, but because you're finally able to identify your biases, listen with an open mind, and communicate well. As your confidence grows, you'll shake off lingering memories of interactions that made you feel tongue-tied or incapable, knowing that it's in your power to steer the conversation wherever you want it.

Positive Words, Powerful Results: Simple Ways to Honor, Affirm, and Celebrate Life


Hal Urban - 2004
    But in this jewel of a book, Hal Urban -- parent, award-winning teacher, and author of the classic Life's Greatest Lessons -- shows us simple and immediate ways that we can use language to change lives -- both our own and those around us.

Saying What's Real: 7 Keys to Authentic Communication and Relationship Success


Susan M. Campbell - 2005
    Drawing on her years of experience as a relationship coach and a teamwork consultant to Fortune 500 companies, Susan Campbell shows readers how to drastically improve the quality of their everyday interations by relying on a simple, straight-forward approach to communication and letting go of their need to control the outcome. Practical techniques for dropping one's defenses are offered, as well as a fresh new perspective on using intimate relationships as a form of spiritual practice. Other useful tools include seven statements designed to bring the reader's awareness into the present moment, as well as handy communication-enhancing phrases and Campbell's insights on the most commonly encountered problems.

Who Will Do What by When?: How to Improve Performance, Accountability and Trust with Integrity


Tom Hanson - 2005
    Join him as he races to learn the fundamentals of team and personal effectiveness before he loses his job - and the woman he loves.Along the way you'll arm yourself with the tools you need to cut through the daily tangled web of organizational politics and interpersonal issues that hinder performance. You'll learn to: Use the "Integrity Tools" to boost performance, trust and personal power Hold others accountable without being overbearing Evoke sustainable, outstanding performance in teams

Liespotting: Proven Techniques to Detect Deception


Pamela Meyer - 2010
    None of us is immune, and all of us are victims. According to studies by several different researchers, most of us encounter nearly 200 lies a day.  Now there’s something we can do about it. Liespotting links three disciplines--facial recognition training, interrogation training, and a comprehensive survey of research in the field--into a specialized body of information developed specifically to help business leaders detect deception and get the information they need to successfully conduct their most important interactions and transactions. Some of the nation's leading business executives have learned to use these methods to root out lies in high stakes situations. Liespotting for the first time brings years of knowledge--previously found only in the intelligence community, police training academies, and universities--into the corporate boardroom, the manager's meeting, the job interview, the legal proceeding, and the deal negotiation.   WHAT'S IN THE BOOK? Learn communication secrets previously known only to a handful of scientists, interrogators and intelligence specialists. Liespotting reveals what’s hiding in plain sight in every business meeting, job interview and negotiation: • The single most dangerous facial expression to watch out for in business & personal relationships • 10 questions that get people to tell you anything • A simple 5-step method for spotting and stopping the lies told in nearly every high-stakes business negotiation and interview • Dozens of postures and facial expressions that should instantly put you on Red Alert for deception • The telltale phrases and verbal responses that separate truthful stories from deceitful ones • How to create a circle of advisers who will guarantee your success

Please Understand Me II: Temperament, Character, Intelligence


David Keirsey - 1998
    Advertised only by word of mouth, the book became a favorite training and counseling guide in many institutions -- government, church, business -- and colleges across the nation adopted it as an auxiliary text in a dozen different departments. Why? Perhaps it was the user-friendly way that Please Understand Me helped people find their personality style. Perhaps it was the simple accuracy of Keirsey's portraits of temperament and character types. Or perhaps it was the book's essential message: that members of families and institutions are OK, even though they are fundamentally different from each other, and that they would all do well to appreciate their differences and give up trying to change others into copies of themselves.Now: Please Understand Me IIFor the past twenty years Keirsey has continued to investigate personality differences -- to refine his theory of the four temperaments and to define the facets of character that distinguish one from another. His findings form the basis of Please Understand Me II, an updated and greatly expanded edition of the book, far more comprehensive and coherent than the original, and yet with much of the same easy accessibility. One major addition is Keirsey's view of how the temperaments differ in the intelligent roles they are most likely to develop. Each of us, he says, has four kinds of intelligence -- tactical, logistical, diplomatic, strategic -- though one of the four interests us far more than the others, and thus gets far more practice than the rest. Like four suits in a hand of cards, we each have a long suit and a short suit in what interests us and what we do well, and fortunate indeed are those whose work matches their skills. As in the original book, Please Understand Me II begins with The Keirsey Temperament Sorter, the most used personality inventory in the world. But also included is The Keirsey Four-Types Sorter, a new short questionnaire that identifies one's basic temperament and then ranks one's second, third, and fourth choices. Share this new sorter with friends and family, and get set for a lively and fascinating discussion of personal styles.

The Power of a Positive No: How to Say No and Still Get to Yes


William Ury - 2007
    Every day we find ourselves in situations where we need to say No–to people at work, at home, and in our communities–because No is the word we must use to protect ourselves and to stand up for everything and everyone that matters to us. But as we all know, the wrong No can also destroy what we most value by alienating and angering people. That’s why saying No the right way is crucial. The secret to saying No without destroying relationships lies in the art of the Positive No, a proven technique that anyone can learn. This indispensable book gives you a simple three-step method for saying a Positive No. It will show you how to assert and defend your key interests; how to make your No firm and strong; how to resist the other side’s aggression and manipulation; and how to do all this while still getting to Yes. In the end, the Positive No will help you get not just to any Yes but to the right Yes, the one that truly serves your interests. Based on William Ury’s celebrated Harvard University course for managers and professionals, The Power of a Positive No offers concrete advice and practical examples for saying No in virtually any situation. Whether you need to say No to your customer or your coworker, your employee or your CEO, your child or your spouse, you will find in this book the secret to saying No clearly, respectfully, and effectively. In today’s world of high stress and limitless choices, the pressure to give in and say Yes grows greater every day, producing overload and overwork, expanding e-mail and eroding ethics. Never has No been more needed. A Positive No has the power to profoundly transform our lives by enabling us to say Yes to what counts–our own needs, values, and priorities. Understood this way, No is the new Yes. And the Positive No may be the most valuable life skill you’ll ever learn!

Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids: How to Stop Yelling and Start Connecting


Laura Markham - 2012
    Laura Markham’s approach is as simple as it is effective. Her message: Fostering emotional connection with your child creates real and lasting change. When you have that vital connection, you don’t need to threaten, nag, plead, bribe—or even punish.This remarkable guide will help parents better understand their own emotions—and get them in check—so they can parent with healthy limits, empathy, and clear communication to raise a self-disciplined child. Step-by-step examples give solutions and kid-tested phrasing for parents of toddlers right through the elementary years.If you’re tired of power struggles, tantrums, and searching for the right “consequence,” look no further. You’re about to discover the practical tools you need to transform your parenting in a positive, proven way.

Love


Leo F. Buscaglia - 1972
    What it is and what it isn't. It is about you--and about everybody who has ever reached out to touch the heart of another.

Essential NLP: Teach Yourself


Steve Bavister - 2010
    Business-related applications are evident throughout, and the book is relevant for anyone seeking a solid grounding in NLP.Also included are are fascinating perspectives from leading NLP practitioners. A chapter on 'NLP in Action' gives you an overview of practical applications of NLP, featuring profiles and interviews with people involved in those disciplines, including NLP in sports, education, leadership, selling, health, relationships and personal development.NOT GOT MUCH TIME?One, five and ten-minute introductions to key principles to get you started.AUTHOR INSIGHTSLots of instant help with common problems and quick tips for success, based on the authors' many years of experience.TEST YOURSELFTests in the book and online to keep track of your progress.EXTEND YOUR KNOWLEDGEExtra online articles at www.teachyourself.com to give you a richer understanding of NLP.THINGS TO REMEMBERQuick refreshers to help you remember the key facts.TRY THISInnovative exercises illustrate what you've learnt and how to use it.

Writing That Works


Kenneth Roman - 1981
    Now in its third edition, this completely updated classic has been expanded to included all new advice on e-mail and the e-writing world, plus a fresh point of view on political correctness. With dozens of examples, many of them new, and useful tips for writing as well as faster on a computer, Writing That Works will show you how to improve anything you write:Presentations that move ideas and actionMemos and letters that get things donePlans and reports that make things happenFund-raising and sales letters that produce resultsResumes and letters that lead to interviewsSpeeches that make a point

Improv Wisdom: Don't Prepare, Just Show Up


Patricia Ryan Madson - 2005
    No matter how carefully we formulate a “script,” it is bound to change when we interact with people with scripts of their own. Improv Wisdom shows how to apply the maxims of improvisational theater to real-life challenges—whether it’s dealing with a demanding boss, a tired child, or one of life’s never-ending surprises. Patricia Madson distills thirty years of experience into thirteen simple strategies, including “Say Yes,” “Start Anywhere,” “Face the Facts,” and “Make Mistakes, Please,” helping readers to loosen up, think on their feet, and take on everything life has to offer with skill, chutzpah, and a sense of humor.

The Craft of Research


Wayne C. Booth - 1995
    Seasoned researchers and educators Gregory G. Colomb and Joseph M. Williams present an updated third edition of their classic handbook, whose first and second editions were written in collaboration with the late Wayne C. Booth. The Craft of Research explains how to build an argument that motivates readers to accept a claim; how to anticipate the reservations of readers and to respond to them appropriately; and how to create introductions and conclusions that answer that most demanding question, “So what?” The third edition includes an expanded discussion of the essential early stages of a research task: planning and drafting a paper. The authors have revised and fully updated their section on electronic research, emphasizing the need to distinguish between trustworthy sources (such as those found in libraries) and less reliable sources found with a quick Web search. A chapter on warrants has also been thoroughly reviewed to make this difficult subject easier for researchers Throughout, the authors have preserved the amiable tone, the reliable voice, and the sense of directness that have made this book indispensable for anyone undertaking a research project.

Minimalist Moms: Living and Parenting with Simplicity


Diane Boden - 2021
    What does this mean? In thinking more about what we incorporate into our life (whether that’s in our home, schedule, or mind) we are able to live with less clutter, chaos and stress. Do a quick Amazon search and you’ll find hundreds of books on simplifying, decluttering, or something that may promise ‘life-changing magic’. Minimalist Moms aim is to provide a book that is more of a quick, daily reminder of the impact of minimalism. It's composed of phrases, or ‘areas of focus’ that the reader can dwell on daily. Minimalism is more of a way of life than a place one can arrive. We need little reminders to help keep perspective and focus on what’s important to us.

High-Maintenance Relationships


Les Parrott III - 1996
    And too often our responses are either to back out of relationships or to give up on impossible people. Dr. Les Parrott shows us other options, including setting boundaries, giving the gift of grace, and leaving room for God.