The Female Brain


Louann Brizendine - 2006
    Though referenced like a work of research, Brizedine's writing style is fully accessible. Brizendine provides a fascinating look at the life cycle of the female brain from birth ("baby girls will connect emotionally in ways that baby boys don't") to birthing ("Motherhood changes you because it literally alters a woman's brain-structurally, functionally, and in many ways, irreversibly") to menopause (when "the female brain is nowhere near ready to retire") and beyond. At the same time, Brizedine is not above reviewing the basics: "We may think we're a lot more sophisticated than Fred or Wilma Flintstone, but our basic mental outlook and equipment are the same." While this book will be of interest to anyone who wonders why men and women are so different, it will be particularly useful for women and parents of girls.

Couple Skills: Making Your Relationship Work


Matthew McKay - 1994
    Couple Skills, Second Edition, revised and updated from the therapist-recommended classic, will show you how to work smarter in your relationship. You'll learn to improve communication, cope better with problems, and resolve conflicts with the one you love in healthy and creative ways. Each chapter teaches you an essential skill that supports greater relationship satisfaction and deeper intimacy.New to this edition is a chapter on using acceptance skills, developed from the revolutionary new acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT). These new approaches will help you to accept your partner's feelings (and your own emotions) without judgment. Using these techniques will help you decide what you really value in your relationship and then commit to acting in ways that further those values every day.

The Appearance of Power: How Masculinity is Expressed Through Aesthetics


Tanner Guzy - 2017
    Ideally those two would line up together and the world would be full of good, masculine men who dress and look like good masculine men. But all too often, reality is something different. There are good men and strong leaders out there who dress and look like children or bums. There are awful, lazy men in the world who dress in a way that hides their vices from those around them and makes them appear better than they truly are. In an attempt to correct for these disparities, our current culture tries to rob both appearance of its power and power of its appearance - to say that the way a person dresses or looks doesn’t - or at least shouldn’t matter. We’re given platitudes like, “don’t judge a book by its cover” and there’s a often a cultural rush to prove ourselves as non-judgmental as we can. But a man’s appearance has been an integral part of humanity since before the dawn of civilization. As human beings we use mental shortcuts when assessing our surroundings and the people within them. It is inefficient and dangerous to treat every object, scenario, and person as a blank slate or an unknown. And, because it is our tendency to judge according to visual stimuli, we use physicality, body language, grooming, and clothing to quickly and effectively communicate who we are and how we want other people to perceive us. Some men dress to appear more physically threatening, others to convey status and power within social spheres, some attempt to fit in and not draw attention to themselves, and others will use their clothing to show their disdain for the social norms around them. Regardless of what your intentions are, your clothing says something about you. And no, this doesn’t just apply to you, but to every man who has ever interacted with another human being. From the ancient shaman, to the Wall Street banker, the Pope to the gutter punk, all men use clothing and appearance to tell the world who we are. Which means it’s worthwhile for you to understand how to use this tool effectively. The purpose of this book is to outline the underlying principles of how clothing affects men and masculinity. Understanding and applying those principles will take you far beyond looking like you’ve been dressed by an image consultant, in one of his five variations of acceptable clothing, and into the realm of being well-dressed all the time.

Intimacy: Trusting Oneself and the Other


Osho - 2001
    But at the same time, there arises an undercurrent of feeling that something is missing-a quality of intimacy.This quality has very little to do with the physical, though sex is certainly one possible door. Far more important is a willingness to expose our deepest feelings and vulnerabilities, with the trust that the other person will treat them with care. Ultimately, the willingness to take the risk of intimacy has to be grounded in an inner strength that knows that even if the other remains closed, even if that trust is betrayed, we will not suffer any permanent damage.In this gentle and compassionate guide, Osho takes his readers step-by-step through what makes people afraid of intimacy, how to encounter those fears and go beyond them, and what they can do to nourish themselves and their relationships to support more openness and trust.OSHO challenges readers to examine and break free of the conditioned belief systems and prejudices that limit their capacity to life in all its richness. He has been described by the Sunday Times of London as one of the "1000 Makers of the 20th Century" and by Sunday Mid-Day (India) as one of the ten people-along with Gandhi, Nehru, and Buddha-who have changed the destiny of India. More than a decade after his death in 1990, the influence of his teachings continues to expand, reaching seekers of all ages in virtually every country of the world.

How to Talk to Anyone, Anytime, Anywhere: The Secrets of Good Communication


Larry King - 1994
    Here is a way to overcome these communication challenges. HOW TO TALK TO ANYONE, ANYTIME, ANYWHERE is the key to building confidence and improving communication skills. Written by Larry King, this guide provides simple and practical advice to help make communication easier, more successful, and even more enjoyable. Anecdotes from a life spent talking--on television, radio, and in person,--add to the fun and value of the book. Learn what famous talkers say and how the way they say it makes them so successful.Lessons include: How to overcome shyness and put other people at ease How to choose an appropriate conversation topic for any situation How to ace a job interview, run a meeting, and mingle at a cocktail party What the most successful conversationalists have in common The one great question you can ask to enhance your conversation with anyone, anytime, anywhere

The New Rules for Love, Sex, and Dating


Andy Stanley - 2012
    In The New Rules for Love, Sex and Dating, Andy Stanley explores the challenges, assumptions, and land mines associated with dating in the twenty-first century. Best of all, he offers the most practical and uncensored advice you will ever hear on this topic. Not for the faint of heart, The New Rules for Love, Sex and Dating challenges single Christ followers to step up and set a new standard for this generation! The New Rules for Love, Sex and Dating: Unveils what God says that will lead to success in dating and marriage, Transforms guys way of thinking about women, Reveals common myths about sex outside of marriage, Prepares men and women to one day say 'I do' and mean it, And much more. "If you don't want a marriage like the majority of marriages, then stop dating like the majority of daters!"

Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most


Douglas Stone - 1999
    Based on fifteen years of research at the Harvard Negotiation Project, Difficult Conversations walks you through a step-by-step proven approach to having your toughest conversations with less stress and more success. You will learn: -- how to start the conversation without defensiveness-- why what is not said is as important as what is-- ways of keeping and regaining your balance in the face of attacks and accusations-- how to decipher the underlying structure of every difficult conversationFilled with examples from everyday life, Difficult Conversations will help you on your job, at home, or out of the world. It is a book you will turn to again and again for advice, practical skills, and reassurance.

Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion


Robert B. Cialdini - 1984
    Dr. Robert Cialdini is the seminal expert in the rapidly expanding field of influence and persuasion. His thirty-five years of rigorous, evidence-based research along with a three-year program of study on what moves people to change behavior has resulted in this highly acclaimed book.You'll learn the six universal principles, how to use them to become a skilled persuader—and how to defend yourself against them. Perfect for people in all walks of life, the principles of Influence will move you toward profound personal change and act as a driving force for your success.

The Sacred Search: What If It's Not about Who You Marry, But Why?


Gary L. Thomas - 2013
    Whether you are single, dating, or engaged, Gary’s unique perspective on dating will prepare you for a satisfying, spiritually enriching marriage even before you walk down the aisle. As Gary reminds us, a good marriage is not something you find—it’s something you make.

Loneliness: Human Nature and the Need for Social Connection


John T. Cacioppo - 2008
    Cacioppo’s groundbreaking research topples one of the pillars of modern medicine and psychology: the focus on the individual as the unit of inquiry. By employing brain scans, monitoring blood pressure, and analyzing immune function, he demonstrates the overpowering influence of social context—a factor so strong that it can alter DNA replication. He defines an unrecognized syndrome—chronic loneliness—brings it out of the shadow of its cousin depression, and shows how this subjective sense of social isolation uniquely disrupts our perceptions, behavior, and physiology, becoming a trap that not only reinforces isolation but can also lead to early death. He gives the lie to the Hobbesian view of human nature as a “war of all against all,” and he shows how social cooperation is, in fact, humanity’s defining characteristic. Most important, he shows how we can break the trap of isolation for our benefit both as individuals and as a society.

Social Intelligence: The New Science of Human Relationships


Daniel Goleman - 2006
    Now, once again, Daniel Goleman has written a groundbreaking synthesis of the latest findings in biology and brain science, revealing that we are “wired to connect” and the surprisingly deep impact of our relationships on every aspect of our lives.Far more than we are consciously aware, our daily encounters with parents, spouses, bosses, and even strangers shape our brains and affect cells throughout our bodies—down to the level of our genes—for good or ill. In Social Intelligence, Daniel Goleman explores an emerging new science with startling implications for our interpersonal world. Its most fundamental discovery: we are designed for sociability, constantly engaged in a “neural ballet” that connects us brain to brain with those around us.Our reactions to others, and theirs to us, have a far-reaching biological impact, sending out cascades of hormones that regulate everything from our hearts to our immune systems, making good relationships act like vitamins—and bad relationships like poisons. We can “catch” other people’s emotions the way we catch a cold, and the consequences of isolation or relentless social stress can be life-shortening. Goleman explains the surprising accuracy of first impressions, the basis of charisma and emotional power, the complexity of sexual attraction, and how we detect lies. He describes the “dark side” of social intelligence, from narcissism to Machiavellianism and psychopathy. He also reveals our astonishing capacity for “mindsight,” as well as the tragedy of those, like autistic children, whose mindsight is impaired.Is there a way to raise our children to be happy? What is the basis of a nourishing marriage? How can business leaders and teachers inspire the best in those they lead and teach? How can groups divided by prejudice and hatred come to live together in peace? The answers to these questions may not be as elusive as we once thought. And Goleman delivers his most heartening news with powerful conviction: we humans have a built-in bias toward empathy, cooperation, and altruism–provided we develop the social intelligence to nurture these capacities in ourselves and others.From the Trade Paperback edition.

The Social Animal: The Hidden Sources of Love, Character, and Achievement


David Brooks - 2011
    Now, with the intellectual curiosity and emotional wisdom that make his columns among the most read in the nation, Brooks turns to the building blocks of human flourishing in a multilayered, profoundly illuminating work grounded in everyday life.This is the story of how success happens. It is told through the lives of one composite American couple, Harold and Erica—how they grow, push forward, are pulled back, fail, and succeed. Distilling a vast array of information into these two vividly realized characters, Brooks illustrates a fundamental new understanding of human nature. A scientific revolution has occurred—we have learned more about the human brain in the last thirty years than we had in the previous three thousand. The unconscious mind, it turns out, is most of the mind—not a dark, vestigial place but a creative and enchanted one, where most of the brain’s work gets done. This is the realm of emotions, intuitions, biases, longings, genetic predispositions, personality traits, and social norms: the realm where character is formed and where our most important life decisions are made. The natural habitat of The Social Animal. Drawing on a wealth of current research from numerous disciplines, Brooks takes Harold and Erica from infancy to school; from the “odyssey years” that have come to define young adulthood to the high walls of poverty; from the nature of attachment, love, and commitment, to the nature of effective leadership. He reveals the deeply social aspect of our very minds and exposes the bias in modern culture that overemphasizes rationalism, individualism, and IQ. Along the way, he demolishes conventional definitions of success while looking toward a culture based on trust and humility.The Social Animal is a moving and nuanced intellectual adventure, a story of achievement and a defense of progress. Impossible to put down, it is an essential book for our time, one that will have broad social impact and will change the way we see ourselves and the world.

I Want This to Work: An Inclusive Guide to Navigating the Most Difficult Relationship Issues We Face in the Modern Age


Elizabeth Earnshaw - 2021
    She takes an accessible approach to couples therapy on the page, making these relationship tools feel easy—and even fun.” —Lori Gottlieb, LMFT, New York Times bestselling author of Maybe You Should Talk to Someone A contemporary, culturally inclusive, and easy-to-digest relationship book for the modern ageToday’s generation is changing the rules about committed relationships—and looking to create more meaning within their lives. We are more selective before getting married, with more diverse families and family structures, and we’ve seen a whopping 18 percent drop in divorce rates. In this new environment, what couples need more than ever are effective, flexible tools to communicate, navigate hard times, and create deeper connections with their partners.Elizabeth Earnshaw is here to help. The renowned Gottman therapist, founder of A Better Life Therapy, and influential Instagram therapist behind @lizlistens has helped to transform countless relationships. With I Want This to Work, she presents for today’s generation the most effective and proven steps for relationship success.“We’re in a cultural moment,” she says, “where people are hungry to absorb the principles for healthy relationships. This book answers that call.”Here, couples will learn how to work with the three challenges they must tackle to repair and strengthen their relationships: conflict, healing, and connection. They’ll learn fundamental principles including:· Why it’s not working· Creating space that makes it safe to connect· How to navigate hot conversations · The five-part relationship system· Busting the romantic notion that our better half “completes” us· Growing up and growing out—how both your early years and the social connections you make as an adult influence your relational beliefs, feelings, and patternsIn a supportive and relatable voice, Elizabeth simplifies complex concepts and provides core insights, exercises, and reflections to take these tested principles from the page and into real life.Culturally tuned in, LGBTQIA+ friendly, and written for both married and unmarried couples, this book brings us an accessible guide to relationship healing and creating enduring intimacy.

How to Avoid Falling in Love with a Jerk: The Foolproof Way to Follow Your Heart Without Losing Your Mind


John Van Epp - 2008
    I heartily recommend it. --Harville Hendrix, Ph.D., author of Getting the Love You Want and Keeping the Love You FindDon't be part of the 'where-was-this-book-when-I-needed-it?' crowd. It's not too late--read it now! --Pat Love, Ed.D., author of The Truth About Love and Hot MonogamyBased on years of research on marital and premarital happiness, How to Avoid Falling in Love with a Jerk (previously published in hardcover as How to Avoid Marrying a Jerk) will help you break destructive dating patterns that have kept you from finding the love you deserve:Ask the right questions to inspire meaningful, revealing conversations with your partnerJudge character based on compatibility, relationships skills, friends, and patterns from family and previous relationshipsResolve your own emotional baggage so you're ready for a healthy relationship

No one understands you, and what to do about it


Heidi Grant Halvorson - 2015
    Our usual approach is to just talk louder, to try harder to get our message through. This is almost always the wrong approach.Why? Because other people almost never see us the way we see ourselves. Fortunately, these distortions in perception are systematic, understandable, and surmountable.Heidi Grant Halvorson, bestselling author of Nine Things Successful People Do Differently and Focus, now shows you how to communicate effectively—despite these unintentional (yet widespread) distortions of perception. By better understanding how communication and perception really work, you’ll learn to send the right signals at the right time, no matter who you’re communicating with.