The Anatomy of Peace: Resolving the Heart of Conflict


The Arbinger Institute - 2015
    The Anatomy of Peace asks, What if conflicts at home, conflicts at work, and conflicts in the world stem from the same root cause? What if we systematically misunderstand that cause? And what if, as a result, we unwittingly perpetuate the very problems we think we are trying to solve? Through an intriguing story we learn how and why we contribute to the divisions and problems we blame on others and the surprising way that these problems can be solved. Yusuf al-Falah, an Arab, and Avi Rozen, a Jew, each lost his father at the hands of the other's ethnic cousins. The Anatomy of Peace is the story of how they came together, how they help warring parents and children come together, and how we too can find our way out of the struggles that weigh us down. This second edition includes new sections enabling readers to go deeper into the book's key concepts; access to free digital study and discussion guides; and information about The Reconciliation Project, a highly successful global peace initiative based on concepts in The Anatomy of Peace.

How to Make Anyone Fall in Love with You


Leil Lowndes - 1996
    In How to Make Anyone Fall in Love with You readers will find 85 techniques based on scientific studies regarding the nature of love, including:Finding potential love partnersMaking an unforgettable first impressionDodging love bloopersEstablishing sexual rapportBy using these pragmatic, down-to-earth strategies, anyone can turn new or casual relationships into lasting ones--or make current relationships deeper.

The Power of Attachment: How to Create Deep and Lasting Intimate Relationships


Diane Poole Heller - 2019
    From our earliest years, we develop an attachment style that follows us through life, replaying in our daily emotional landscape, our relationships, and how we feel about ourselves. And in the wake of a traumatic event—such as a car accident, severe illness, loss of a loved one, or experience of abuse—that attachment style can deeply influence what happens next. In The Power of Attachment, Dr. Diane Poole Heller, a pioneer in attachment theory and trauma resolution, shows how overwhelming experiences can disrupt our most important connections— with the parts of ourselves within, with the physical world around us, and with others. The good news is that we can restore and reconnect at all levels, regardless of our past. Here, you’ll learn key insights and practices to help you: • Restore the broken connections caused by trauma • Get embodied and grounded in your body • Integrate the parts of yourself that feel wounded and fragmented • Emerge from grief, fear, and powerlessness to regain strength, joy, and resiliency • Reclaim access to your inner resources and spiritual nature "We are fundamentally designed to heal," teaches Dr. Heller. "Even if our childhood is less than ideal, our secure attachment system is biologically programmed in us, and our job is to simply find out what’s interfering with it—and learn what we can do to make those secure tendencies more dominant." With expertise drawn from Dr. Heller’s research, clinical work, and training programs, this book invites you to begin that journey back to wholeness.

The Journal of Best Practices: A Memoir of Marriage, Asperger Syndrome, and One Man's Quest to Be a Better Husband


David Finch - 2012
    Five years after he married Kristen, the love of his life, they learn that he has Asperger syndrome. The diagnosis explains David’s ever-growing list of quirks and compulsions, his lifelong propensity to quack and otherwise melt down in social exchanges, and his clinical-strength inflexibility. But it doesn’t make him any easier to live with.Determined to change, David sets out to understand Asperger syndrome and learn to be a better husband—no easy task for a guy whose inability to express himself rivals his two-year-old daughter's, who thinks his responsibility for laundry extends no further than throwing things in (or at) the hamper, and whose autism-spectrum condition makes seeing his wife's point of view a near impossibility.Nevertheless, David devotes himself to improving his marriage with an endearing yet hilarious zeal that involves excessive note-taking, performance reviews, and most of all, the Journal of Best Practices: a collection of hundreds of maxims and hard-won epiphanies that result from self-reflection both comic and painful. They include "Don’t change the radio station when she's singing along," "Apologies do not count when you shout them," and "Be her friend, first and always." Guided by the Journal of Best Practices, David transforms himself over the course of two years from the world’s most trying husband to the husband who tries the hardest, the husband he’d always meant to be.Filled with humor and surprising wisdom, The Journal of Best Practices is a candid story of ruthless self-improvement, a unique window into living with an autism-spectrum condition, and proof that a true heart can conquer all.

The High-Conflict Couple: A Dialectical Behavior Therapy Guide to Finding Peace, Intimacy, and Validation


Alan E. Fruzzetti - 2006
    But if you've tried these without much success, you're not alone. Many highly reactive couples—pairs that are quick to argue, anger, and blame—need more than just the run-of-the-mill relationship advice to solve their problems in love. When destructive emotions are at the heart of problems in your relationship, no amount of effective communication or intimacy building will fix what ails it. If you're part of a "high-conflict" couple, you need to get control of your emotions first, to stop making things worse, and only then work on building a better relationship.The High-Conflict Couple adapts the powerful techniques of dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) into skills you can use to tame out-of-control emotions that flare up in your relationship. Using mindfulness and distress tolerance techniques, you'll learn how to deescalate angry situations before they have a chance to explode into destructive fights. Other approaches will help you disclose your fears, longings, and other vulnerabilities to your partner and validate his or her experiences in return. You'll discover ways to manage problems with negotiation, not conflict, and to find true acceptance and closeness with the person you love the most.This book has been awarded The Association for Behavioral and Cognitive Therapies Self-Help Seal of Merit — an award bestowed on outstanding self-help books that are consistent with cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) principles and that incorporate scientifically tested strategies for overcoming mental health difficulties. Used alone or in conjunction with therapy, our books offer powerful tools readers can use to jump-start changes in their lives.

Dig Your Well before You're Thirsty: The only networking book you'll ever need


Harvey MacKay - 1997
    Bestselling author Harvey Mackay reveals his techniques for the most essential tool in business--networking, the indispensable art of building contacts.Now in paperback, Dig Your Well Before You're Thirsty is Harvey Mackay's last word on how to get what you want from the world through networking.  For everyone from the sales rep facing a career-making deal to the entrepreneur in search of capital, Dig Your Well explains how meeting these needs should be no more than a few calls away.  This shrewdly practical book distills Mackay's wisdom gleaned from years of "swimming with sharks," including: What kinds of networks exist How to start a network, and how to wring the most from it The smart way to downsize your list--who to keep, who to dump How to keep track of favors done and favors owed--Is it my lunch or yours? What you can do if you are not good at small talkDig Your Well Before You're Thirsty is a must for anyone who wants to get ahead by reaching out.

The 6 Husbands Every Wife Should Have: How Couples Who Change Together Stay Together


Steven Craig - 2012
    Steven Craig offers a revolutionary book that helps couples identify the six different people they need to become over the course of their relationship in order to grow together rather than apart.Throughout his career as a marriage counselor, Dr. Craig has identified a common thread in strained relationships: the belief that change should be avoided at all costs. Determined to destroy this harmful myth, Dr. Craig presents a concept as straightforward as it is original: Marriages don’t fail when people change; they fail when people don’t change.In 6 Husbands, Dr. Craig divides the typical marriage into six stages, outlining both the common misconceptions and opportunities for growth at each level. From the earliest stage of becoming the right person for your spouse in the new marriage; to thinking and acting like a team; to adjusting to the dynamics of parenthood; to caring for older children and elderly parents; to adapting to the empty nest; and then to growing into the golden years and becoming a dependable companion, Dr. Craig offers new communication tools, rules for intimacy, checklists, and assessments designed to inspire change.The 6 Husbands Every Wife Should Have will revitalize readers’ notions of marriage and turn it into an ongoing activity that husband and wife can conquer actively—together.

Should I Stay or Should I Go?: Surviving a Relationship with a Narcissist


Ramani Durvasula - 2015
    But how do you know if you are in a relationship with one—and, what can you do about it? We live in a world of romance and rescue, where many believe love will conquer all, and that the more we endure unacceptable behavior, the more likely that we can “fix” our relationships. It doesn’t always work that way—despite what the fairy tales tell us. There are a few hard facts about pathological narcissism that most people don’t know and most psychologists will never tell you. Should I Stay or Should I Go? uses checklists, clinical wisdom, and real stories from real people to prepare you for the real terrain of pathological narcissism. It raises the red flags to watch for and provides a realistic roadmap for difficult situations to help you reclaim yourself, find healing, and live an authentic and empowered life. Whether you stay. Or go.

Will Our Love Last?: A Couple's Road Map


Sam R. Hamburg - 2000
    In this unconventional guide, Sam R. Hamburg, Ph.D., explains how to eliminate the guesswork and pick the right romantic partner. Basing his findings on hundreds of cases in his twenty-five years as a marital therapist and thirty years in his own marriage, Dr. Hamburg shows that in the best unions partners are deeply compatible in all areas -- from sex to daily decision making to beliefs about life. With an innovative approach, Dr. Hamburg guides couples in understanding how compatible they are in each dimension and he empowers them to make important relationship decisions that are intellectually and emotionally informed. Written in a clear and direct style, Will Our Love Last? teaches couples at any stage of commitment how to avoid mistakes and find lasting love.

The Different Drum: Community Making and Peace


M. Scott Peck - 1987
    It should ultimately serve to lower or remove the walls of misunderstanding which unduly separate us human beings, one from another...' Although we have developed the technology to make communication more efficent and to bring people closer together, we have failed to use it to build a true global community. Dr M. Scott Peck believes that if we are to prevent civilization destroying itself, we must urgently rebuild on all levels, local, national and international and that is the first step to spiritual survival. In this radical and challenging book, he describes how the communities work, how group action can be developed on the principles of tolerance and love, and how we can start to transform world society into a true community.

Ask Powerful Questions: Create Conversations That Matter


Will Wise - 2017
    Introducing a set of practical tools for accessing and understanding others by changing the way we ask questions, Will shows how to transform “How are you?—I’m fine, thanks” into a conversation that changes not only how you lead, but who you are as a person. It took years of research, university teaching, and hundreds of client projects for Will to formulate his concept behind the art of asking powerful questions. In his book, Will breaks it down into six simple steps for all of us to be able to understand. The Asking Powerful Questions Pyramid™ shows you how to build: Intention Rapport Openness Listening Empathy Business professionals, personal coaches, teachers and anyone in a position of leadership will relate to the personal successes and failures Will shares as he unpacks the art of asking questions that elicit unconventional answers. Powerful questions can be used everywhere: from the board room to the city park, the dinner table to the grocery store. If you want to connect with employees at a team building retreat, hone your leadership skills as a new boss, improve the company culture where you work...this book is for you. If you want to navigate difficult conversations with your spouse or a friend, or practice presence-based listening with your kids...this book is for you. If you want to become a better educator and facilitate an ice breaker conversation with colleagues...this book is for you. Ask Powerful Questions invites the reader on a journey that explores: the clarity of intent, connecting through rapport, creating openness, reflective listening, and empathy. How can we explore the space between ourselves and others, and exchange meaningful perspectives? Just ask—powerfully.

The Mastery of Love: A Practical Guide to the Art of Relationship --Toltec Wisdom Book


Miguel Ruiz - 1999
    In the tradition of Carlos Castaneda, the author distills essential Toltec wisdom on human relationships as well as techniques for integrating this awareness into daily life.

The Storytelling Animal: How Stories Make Us Human


Jonathan Gottschall - 2012
    We spin fantasies. We devour novels, films, and plays. Even sporting events and criminal trials unfold as narratives. Yet the world of story has long remained an undiscovered and unmapped country. It’s easy to say that humans are “wired” for story, but why?In this delightful and original book, Jonathan Gottschall offers the first unified theory of storytelling. He argues that stories help us navigate life’s complex social problems—just as flight simulators prepare pilots for difficult situations. Storytelling has evolved, like other behaviors, to ensure our survival.Drawing on the latest research in neuroscience, psychology, and evolutionary biology, Gottschall tells us what it means to be a storytelling animal. Did you know that the more absorbed you are in a story, the more it changes your behavior? That all children act out the same kinds of stories, whether they grow up in a slum or a suburb? That people who read more fiction are more empathetic?Of course, our story instinct has a darker side. It makes us vulnerable to conspiracy theories, advertisements, and narratives about ourselves that are more “truthy” than true. National myths can also be terribly dangerous: Hitler’s ambitions were partly fueled by a story.But as Gottschall shows in this remarkable book, stories can also change the world for the better. Most successful stories are moral—they teach us how to live, whether explicitly or implicitly, and bind us together around common values. We know we are master shapers of story. The Storytelling Animal finally reveals how stories shape us.

Sex at Dawn: The Prehistoric Origins of Modern Sexuality


Christopher Ryan - 2010
    Mainstream science--as well as religious and cultural institutions--has maintained that men and women evolved in families in which a man's possessions and protection were exchanged for a woman's fertility and fidelity. But this narrative is collapsing. Fewer and fewer couples are getting married, and divorce rates keep climbing as adultery and flagging libido drag down even seemingly solid marriages.How can reality be reconciled with the accepted narrative? It can't be, according to renegade thinkers Christopher Ryan and Cacilda Jethá. While debunking almost everything we "know" about sex, they offer a bold alternative explanation in this provocative and brilliant book.Ryan and Jethá's central contention is that human beings evolved in egalitarian groups that shared food, child care, and, often, sexual partners. Weaving together convergent, frequently overlooked evidence from anthropology, archaeology, primatology, anatomy, and psychosexuality, the authors show how far from human nature monogamy really is. Human beings everywhere and in every era have confronted the same familiar, intimate situations in surprisingly different ways. The authors expose the ancient roots of human sexuality while pointing toward a more optimistic future illuminated by our innate capacities for love, cooperation, and generosity.With intelligence, humor, and wonder, Ryan and Jethá show how our promiscuous past haunts our struggles over monogamy, sexual orientation, and family dynamics. They explore why long-term fidelity can be so difficult for so many; why sexual passion tends to fade even as love deepens; why many middle-aged men risk everything for transient affairs with younger women; why homosexuality persists in the face of standard evolutionary logic; and what the human body reveals about the prehistoric origins of modern sexuality.In the tradition of the best historical and scientific writing, Sex at Dawn unapologetically upends unwarranted assumptions and unfounded conclusions while offering a revolutionary understanding of why we live and love as we do.

On Emotional Intelligence (HBR's 10 Must Reads)


Harvard Business Review - 2015
    We’ve combed through hundreds of articles in the Harvard Business Review archive and selected the most important ones to help you boost your emotional skills—and your professional success.This book will inspire you to:• Monitor and channel your moods and emotions• Make smart, empathetic people decisions• Manage conflict and regulate emotions within your team• React to tough situations with resilience• Better understand your strengths, weaknesses, needs, values, and goals• Develop emotional agility