A huge collection of incredible cautionary tales about the undignified ways you can kick the bucket - and they're all true! .the mechanic who blew himself up while trying to open a rocket-propelled grenade with a sledgehammer .A woman felled by a fatal flying lettuce .the octogenarian who caught a shopping trolley to a permanent vacation .the convicted murderer who electrocuted himself on the toilet as he repaired a tV these are all true reports which reveal the silliest ways you can bite the big one. Death may seem like a serious business, but this is a seriously funny book.

    This is a collection of original essays that can not be found anywhere else. Each volume is different and you never know what you'll find. They are an assortment of Jen's childhood memories, stories about her family, and rants about everything that make her punchy all told with her usual snarky take. Volume Three of this series includes 3 NEVER BEFORE SEEN essays: HEY DICK, WOULD YOU SEND YOUR MOM THAT PICTURE? LAURA INGALLS WILDER NEVER HAD A SIGNATURE LIPSMACKER FLAVOR MISSED MOM CONNECTION

    In the seventy years since, his wit (and the occasional ‘gaffe’) has continued to endear him to the nation, as he travelled the world taking his unique and charmingly British sense of humour to its far-flung corners. Hailed as a god by a tribe in Vanuatu, the Prince has had his fair share of brickbats from the media nearer home, but his outspokenness never fails to raise laughs – and eyebrows.From notorious one-liners to less newsworthy witticisms and from plain speaking to blunt indifference, the Prince does what we all wish we could do now and again – forgets polite conversation and says what he thinks. In the year in which the Prince has stepped down from his royal duties, this joyous and timely book celebrates his wry humour and supremely wicked wit.

    Laugh as you learn about America's friendly northern neighbor with this step-by-step guide to Canadian customs, pop culture, and slang -- perfect for anyone who's considered moving to (or just visiting) maple leaf country.Written by New York Times bestselling author (and born-and-bred Canuck) Jenn McCartney, this comprehensive guide will teach you everything you need to know about Canada, including: HistoryBewildering residency rules, demystifiedUnique laws and customsContributions to the arts and pop culture (Celine Dion, Margaret Atwood, Justin Bieber)Colorful slang, explainedCreative doodles, helpful charts, and fun graphsHilarious and honest, this guide will delight your politically disgruntled father, nudge your bleeding-heart neighbor to hit the road, and inspire you to plan for (or daydream about) your own Canadian getaway.

    The second addition to the Clients From Hell series taps freelance veterans for even more material. Interviews, resources, and particularly poignant tales of client insanity are all included alongside the fan-favourite anecdotes of freelancing dysfunction.For the first time, Clients From Hell takes a step back from finger-pointing and clever name-calling to inform the audience of how to make it as a creative professional. Step one: buy this book. Step two: take heed of these cautionary tales. Step three: we haven't thought of a step three yet. We'll worry about that when revisions come around.Anyone who has ever worked with clients may find these tales frighteningly familiar. New freelancers may think twice about their chosen profession - or at least find relief in the fact that they're not alone in absurd client interactions.And the rest of you? You can just laugh and enjoy your day job.

    We all know one! They like to groan and grumble, offering their own commentary on the shortcomings of modern life. Whether it is queues at the supermarket, the state of the health system, the price of a pint these days, the hairstyles of teenagers, or the number of Maltesers you actually get in a bag, there is always something that will get their goat. 'The Grumpy Old Git's Guide to Life' is a hilarious celebration of all these grumps, how to identify one, what exactly they find so irritating and why we find their rants quite so amusing.

    Koalas look cuddly, but they're actually irritable, solitary beasts who do not want belly rubs. What kind of mocking god created creatures with poofy ears and big black noses that don't want belly rubs? BOpossums: North America gets one lousy marsupial, and let's just say it's not going to win any beauty contests. Or even not-ugly contests. C−Wombats: "Wombat" is a great name. It's got a "wom" and a "bat," and an "omba." They're kind of nondescript animals, cute in a generic pudgy mammal way, but their name spelled backward is "tabmow," and that makes all the difference. AThe Book of Ratings is hysterically arbitrary and undeniably infectious.

    Instead you'll be able to absorb the most important content and begin applying it immediately after just one day!

    It feels creative and satisfying and will set you up for a lifetime of good habits, no matter the age you are starting from. My wish for this book is that it encourages you to think about money in a way that makes you feel in control, uplifted and inspired to steer yourself towards a joyous and prosperous future. I want to share my contagious beliefs that dealing with your money can be fun and exciting. I know many women have a fractious relationship with their finances and can often be quite scared of dealing with things. I have felt that way in the past too. I do hope you will join me in this journey because it feels so much better to have a good relationship with your money than not. I love the saying Look after your money, and your money will look after you. It does not have to be scary, and you do not have to worry about becoming greedy if you focus on your finances; all that will happen is that this important area of your life will feel happier, freer and more bountiful. It is a glorious feeling and it is well within your reach. I hope that by the end of this book you will be eager and enthusiastic about your own finances, in fact, I am sure you will. ~~ Fiona Ferris Contents: Introduction How I became interested in personal finance About this book Chapter 1. Start from the beginning What do you believe about money? Make your finances fun and enjoyable Simplify your life Chapter 2. Be savvy and a good steward of your money Living well on a moderate income Add up what your vice is costing you Try out cheaper options ‘The free part’ Cap limits in your life Decide for yourself what you splurge and save on Spend more time at home Make your own meals most of the time Do not be afraid to ask for gifts Slim down your magazine choices Chapter 3. Live like a millionaire now and feel rich every day Do not wait to be rich to feel good Use your good things Surround yourself with beauty Keep only what your future self would have in her beautiful home Visit five-star luxury and soak it in Replace broken items with quality, cherish the rest Feel luxurious in budget-friendly ways Curate your wardrobe Cultivate an expensive-looking personal style Have an elegant personal demeanour ‘Expensive’ décor on a budget Chapter 4. See how you rich are already Know where your finances are at Speak positively about your finances Cultivate a happy and relaxed feeling around money Contentment as a financial tool Think beyond a purchase to its exit Chapter 5. Inspire yourself to a wealthy future Keep your vibration high Share your dreams with your other half Commit to being debt-free Take inspiration from expensive stores Read inspirational money books and find fun ways to educate yourself Think as if you were creating your own personal brand Have role models Chapter 6.

    Turns out there’s so much more to him. He’s a philosopher, an aphorist, a humorist, an artist, a warm companion, a natural storyteller—and, in a grand tradition, a keenly observant and wise outsider who in the course of living and traveling among us has discovered quite a lot about the things that make us human. Figuratively speaking, of course. You’re Only Human is his brilliant take on people, written and illustrated with considerable charm.He makes curious and interesting observations on everything from dreams to job interviews to adversity, Twitter to the Golden Rule (it’s not what you think it is) to talking animals: I’m really not sure what all the fuss is about. Lots of animals talk, including humans. The bigger question is, what do you have to say worth listening to?You’re Only Human will reveal a remarkable character who is equally at home discussing the secrets of the universe, and pie and chips. How lucky we are to publish his first book.

    It is his first job in general practice; his first brave excursion into the dangerous world where patients walk round in their clothes. Dr Vernon soon finds himself bemused, fascinated and exhausted as he copes with the procession of ailing humanity that streams into his surgery and awaits his visits. A confused old lady, timid vet, puzzled diabetic, lonely housewife, hypochondriac, tipster with an ulcer, nun with dandruff and a persistent young lady with abundant charms and nothing wrong with her. Just published as an e book, exclusive to Amazon, this book was a huge hit in England and America when first published in the 1970s. Edward Vernon is a pen name of a well known British doctor/author.Here's what the critics said about the series:Thoroughly delightful - Fresno BeeHilarious - TitbitsA delightfully funny book that keeps the reader laughing and appeals to one's sense of the ridiculous - Sunday Advocate, Baton RougeFor entertainment, a chapter or two before bedtime is just what the doctor ordered - Sacramento BeeDoes for British GPs what Herriot has done for vets - BooklistHilarious, written with skill and zest - Grimsby Evening TelegraphVery funny - Citizen, GloucesterThoroughly enjoyable, genuinely funny - South Wales EchoWise, funny, sad and heartwarming - Chattanooga TimesGood fun - Homes and GardensMost of his adventures are funny, some hilarious; but he has the good sense to leven the comedy lump with some that are sad, some touching. All are written lightly, easily, entertainingly - Oxford TimesThe funniest of the funny doctor books - Richard GordonJolly good reading - Publishers WeeklyViews the human species he treats with much the same affection, compassion and humour as Herriot brings to the animal world - Cleveland Plain DealerSometimes serious, sometimes hilarious - Lancashire Evening PostTruthful, well observed and consistently readable - Daily TelegraphPerceptive and witty - Surrey AdvertiserWill amuse, amaze and entertain - Yorkshire Postetc etc

    Urzila talks candidly about her childhood with a great family, apart from her abusive dad, and about growing up in South Africa. She shares crazy but true tales about her OE, her move to New Zealand, coming out, getting married and having children, and her life in comedy. This is a great listen from one of our most loved and most popular comedians.

    Who Stole My Spandex? is a witty selection of stories from Doyle’s madcap world of menopausal pitfalls, wardrobe malfunctions, and a family full of pranksters. This clever compilation includes laugh-out-loud pieces like "Queen of Klutz,” "One Size Fits None," and "Hands off my Egg Roll!" From couples' colonoscopies to nightmare holidays to disappearing spandex, no topic—no matter how crazy or unimaginable—is too taboo. With a heavy dose of self-deprecating humor, and a dash of sentiment, this marvelous collection of anecdotes will resonate with anyone who’s ever felt the call of nature at exactly the wrong time. Welcome to the nuthouse that Marcia Kester Doyle calls home.

    The text is published in full color and contains striking sailing photography from well-known photographer Billy Black, and world-class illustrations from award-winning illustrator Peter Bull. One of the text's most distinguishing features is its user friendly "spreads" in which instructional topics are self-contained on opposing pages throughout the book. This easy to read learning tool follows the critically acclaimed Sailing Made Easy, which Sailing Magazine called "best in class" upon its release in 2010. Sailing Made Easy is the #1 resource in basic sailing education, and Coastal Cruising Made Easy is poised to become the industry standard in intermediate sailing education.

    Updated atlas contains maps of every U.S. state that are 35% larger than the standard atlas version plus over 350 detailed city inset and national park maps and a comprehensive, unabridged index. Road construction projects and updates highlighted for every state and conveniently located above the maps. Contains mileage chart showing distances between 77 North American cities and national parks with driving times map. Tough spiral binding allows the book to lay open easily. Other Features Best of the Road - Our editor's favorite road trips from our Best of the Road collection follows scenic routes along stretches of coastline, both east and west, to forests mountains, and prairies; and through small towns and big cities. For a weekend or a week there's something for everyone. Tell Rand! As much as we work to keep our atlases up to date, conditions change quickly and new construction projects begin frequently. If you know of something we haven't captured in our atlas, let us know at randmcnally.com/tellrand. Tourism websites and phone numbers for every U.S. state and Canadian province on map pages