When Carter, the one-night-stand from her past that changed her life forever, shows up in her hometown bar without any recollection of her besides her unique chocolate scent, Claire will make it a point that he remembers her this time. With Carter's undisguised shock at suddenly finding out he has a four-year-old son and Claire's panic that her stretch marks and slim to none bedroom experience will send the man of her dreams heading for the hills, the pair will do whatever they can to get their happily ever after.Book 2 - Futures and Frosting:Carter, Claire and Gavin have formed the perfect little family. Their friends are getting married and everyone is growing up, maturing and ready to face the future. Or are they? From bachelorette party hell, porn addictions, dinner roll baseball and botched wedding proposals to finding out everyone's extended family is chock full of crazy, Carter and Claire begin to question the strength of the ties that bind them. Unfortunately, these ties have nothing to do with fuzzy handcuffs and everything to do with the mounting differences between them. Will their friends make a mess of things with their inappropriate comments and need to know everything, or will they convince the couple that happily-ever-after sometimes really can start with beer pong?Book 3 - Troubles and Treats:Drew and Jenny have spent years being the envy of their friends with their out of control sex lives – well, not really. Mostly it makes their friends want to throw up in their mouths a little. With two little kids and two busy lives, for the first time, Drew and Jenny aren’t on the same page in the bedroom. Drew will stop at nothing to get his previously amorous wife back in the sack and Jenny will do anything for a full night of sleep. Carter and Claire, and Jim and Liz are their usual (un)helpful selves and are full of advice for the discontented duo, wanting nothing more than to help restore order to the usually happy couple’s lives. In the third and final installment of the Chocolate Lovers Series, will Drew and Jenny find the spark that’s been missing in their marriage, or will the trouble they’re having cause a stickier situation than the time Jenny poured honey all over Drew and he fused himself to a tree?Short Story - Hearts and LlamasJoin the Chocolate Lovers gang as they celebrate Valentine's Day in their usual fashion - with hair pulling, cage fighting and farm animals!

    Described by one reviewer as “like getting stabbed in the head,” the $6 million film earned a grand total of $1,800 at the box office and closed after two weeks. Now in its tenth anniversary year, The Room is an international phenomenon to rival The Rocky Horror Picture Show. Thousands of fans wait in line for hours to attend screenings complete with costumes, audience rituals, merchandising, and thousands of plastic spoons.Readers need not have seen The Room to appreciate its costar Greg Sestero’s account of how Tommy Wiseau defied every law of artistry, business, and interpersonal relationships to achieve the dream only he could love. While it does unravel mysteries for fans, The Disaster Artist is more than just an hilarious story about cinematic hubris: It is ultimately a surprisingly inspiring tour de force that reads like a page-turning novel, an open-hearted portrait of a supremely enigmatic man who will capture your heart.

    Written by UCB founding members Matt Besser, Ian Roberts, and Matt Walsh, the manual covers everything from the basics of two person scene work (with a heavy emphasis on finding "the game" of the scene), to the complexities of working within an ensemble to perform long form structures, such as "The Harold" and "The Movie". A practical "how to" book, the guide provides exercises throughout to help the reader master each new concept and technique introduced. While the manual is written to be understood by beginners with no previous exposure to improvisational comedy, experienced improvisors will find it to be an excellent resource for honing their skills, clarifying concepts, and generally taking their work to a higher level.

    When a party of goblin warriors find themselves trapped behind enemy lines, it'll take more than whining (and a bemused Elven veterinarian) to get them home again.Nine Goblins is a novella of low...very low...fantasy.

    A Valentine's Day short story from the Chocolate Lover's gang.

    The adorable "perma-kitten” might look a little different than other felines, but her tiny size, toothless mouth, and extra toes have made her the darling of cat lovers around the world. Aided by her human, this celebri-cat is finally satisfying her demanding public with a book. Showcasing 100 captioned full color photos of Lil BUB —traveling through space, exploring the Earth, flying in hot air balloons, napping, and even skateboarding—Lil BUB’s Lil Book is exactly what her millions of fans want. Sure to please fans of LOLcats and Boo: The Life of the World’s Cutest Dog, Lil BUB’s Lil Book is the perfect book for anyone who needs more cute in their lives.

    A few doors down, Rachel Chauvin is looking for the same, but her conservative style hasn’t yielded any keepers, either. Neither woman is willing to consider the other as a prospective partner, mostly because they’ve hated each other for nearly four decades.Change is in the air, and spring is giving way to The Summer of Our Discontent.

    Because I wrote it, I had to figure out what to put on the back cover to explain what it is. I tried to write a long, third-person summary that would imply how great the book is and also sound vaguely authoritative--like maybe someone who isn’t me wrote it--but I soon discovered that I’m not sneaky enough to pull it off convincingly. So I decided to just make a list of things that are in the book:PicturesWordsStories about things that happened to meStories about things that happened to other people because of meEight billion dollars*Stories about dogsThe secret to eternal happiness**These are lies. Perhaps I have underestimated my sneakiness!

    He's also always had their unsolicited advice and uncanny knack of embarrassing him at all costs. Now that he's an adult and trying to convince the love of his life to love him back, things haven't changed very much from when he was younger. When Gavin's best friend Tyler suggests he make a to-do list of items that will ensure he wins the girl, Gavin is one-hundred-percent on board: after a few six packs.After puking in the shrubs, a bad experience with Viagra, a Sex-Ed course gone wrong, and a slew of other mishaps courtesy of his family and friends, Gavin is pretty sure this list will be the death of him.Sometimes, trying to make someone love you with a list isn't always the best idea. Especially when "Show her your penis" is the first "to-do" item...

    This eponymous comic became an instant hit when it went live on The Oatmeal.com and was liked on Facebook by 700,000 fans. Now fans will have a keepsake book of this comic to give and to keep.In My Dog: The Paradox, Inman discusses the canine penchant for rolling in horse droppings, chasing large animals four times their size, and acting recklessly enthusiastic through the entirety of their impulsive, lovable lives. Hilarious and heartfelt, My Dog: The Paradox eloquently illustrates the complicated relationship between man and dog.We will never know why dogs fear hair dryers, or being baited into staring contests with cats, but as Inman explains, perhaps we love dogs so much “because their lives aren’t lengthy, logical, or deliberate, but an explosive paradox composed of fur, teeth, and enthusiasm.”

    When he opens his eyes, though, he sees a beautiful goddess that offers him a once in an after-lifetime chance to be reborn in a parallel world. The catch is that the world is violent and threatened by a growing evil! Fortunately, he can choose any one thing to bring with him. So he chooses the goddess, Aqua! And so his adventure with his gorgeous companion begins--if he could just get enough money and food to survive, keep his goddess out of trouble, and avoid grabbing the attention of the Demon King's army!

    Within hours, the book became the #1 Bestseller in Amazon.com's Humor & Religion category! Combining actual Bible verses with more than 30 whimsical original illustrations, "Awkward Moments" uses humor to encourage people from all walks of life to think, perhaps for the first time, about how the Bible continues to shape our culture.BEWARE - NOT FOR KIDS! This is definitely "not" your average children's Bible! If you thought the bestseller ""Go The F**k To Sleep"" was inappropriate for story-time with kids, you haven't seen anything yet! Leave it to the Bible! "Foreskins Fetishes? Unicorn Murders? Boiled Babies? Messiah, MIA? Selling Daughters? Cannibalism Club? Genetic Breakthroughs? Demonic Bacon? Gagged Women? Jihad Jesus? You bet! And much more!"From the opening forewords by Facebook's own God and acclaimed author David G. McAfee, to the challenging commentaries and interactive games at the end, "Awkward Moments Children's Bible" is much more than an irreverent book for your coffee table! Readers of all faiths will find themselves laughing out loud while being encouraged to think about the Bible in a new way.Let's be honest - there are some things in the Good Book that are just... awkward! There are verses we'd like to forget or that have been changed throughout the centuries. There are many verses you've never heard before in church, let alone seen in your average children's Bible! Not to mention the verses that have been added over the centuries!Most people were raised in the faith chosen by their family. Young children learn a few Bible stories taken out of context and accept them without question. "(On what basis could they possibly question their parents or church leaders?)" After decades of repetition and tradition, it's understandable that we might put our beliefs on auto-pilot and just nod as a pastor repeats the verses and ideas that are already familiar and comfortable to us. It's no wonder that recent studies show an incredible lack of Biblical knowledge among Christians - 55% unable to even name the four Gospels of the New Testament - "the very foundation of Christianity!"The Goal? "Awkward Moments" encourages readers to really understand what is in their Bibles and think for themselves about the context of Biblical teaching. The 32 color illustrations and included commentaries will likely challenge some readers to reflect on how religion continues to shape the lives and culture of future generations. If readers happen to laugh out loud and enjoy the interactive puzzles and games in the mean time - "it's just an added bonus!"

    But instead of spanking a load of cash on a car that would have made him look like a senior stylist at Vidal Sassoon, he stumbled onto a pathway that ultimately lead him to become one of the nation’s best loved comedians. It was a gamble, but boy, did it pay off.How Did All This Happen? is the story of how a boy who, growing up on a council estate dreaming of ousting Kenny Dalglish from Liverpool FC’s starting line-up, suddenly found himself on stage in front of thousands of people nationwide, at an age when he should have known better.In his own inimitable style, John guides us through his life from leaving the estate and travelling the globe on a shoe string, to marriage, kids and the split that led him to being on a stage complaining to strangers one night – the night that changed his life and started his journey to stardom.Wonderfully entertaining and packed with colourful reminiscences and comical anecdotes, this is a heart-warming, life-affirming and ultimately very, very funny memoir from one of the nation’s greatest comedians.

    Pugs play by their own set of rules. When you want them to sit, they stand; when you want them to stay, they go; and when you want them to stop eating that unidentified item on the floor, well...Traditional schools of canine thought put this behaviour down to a stubborn refusal to be trained that's inherent in the bred. Not so. This behaviour is, in fact, down to an ancient set of rules, passed down from pug generation to pug generation. A Pug's Guide to Etiquette attempts to explain these rules, thereby advancing pug-human relations to hitherto unprecedented heights.

    

    Then Brownie happened. Watch out, Pegram County! Brownie has returned to the Snoddy Estate. His mother is seven months pregnant, ordered to bed rest and in desperate need of Brownie-free time. So off Brownie goes to visit the Texas Snoddys! It’s the middle of November, he’s ten years old, and they’ve taken away his homemade Taser. How much trouble could there possibly be?Two men have decided to kidnap Brownie for the rumored Civil War gold the Snoddys reputedly have. And that was their mistake, because no one with a brain in their head kidnaps Brownie Snoddy.No one.The Ransom of Brownie is book 4.5 in the Bubba series, taking place after Bubba and the Mysterious Murder Note. It is about 41,500 words long.

    I'm Inspector Carter. Take my case. This must be Charles Haversham! I'm sorry, this must've given you all a damn shock.After benefitting from a large and sudden inheritance, the inept and accident-prone Cornley Polytechnic Drama Society embark on producing an ambitious 1920s murder mystery. They are delighted that neither casting issues nor technical hitches currently stand in their way. However, hilarious disaster ensues and the cast start to crack under the pressure, but can they get the production back on track before the final curtain falls?The Play That Goes Wrong is a farcical murder mystery, a play within a play, conceived and performed by award-winning company Theatre Mischief. It was first published as a one-act play and is published in this new edition as a two-act play.

    Beverly Cryer (Vurl) has to choose a dystopian faction to live with for the rest of her life. If she doesn't make it through initiation, she'll be factionless and declared a Detergent. But, Vurl is determined not to spend the rest of her life doing everyone else's laundry. She is an independent young woman with skills she doesn't even know about and with the help of handsome number Two she'll not only make it through initiation, she'll save the city from disaster. Okay, that's the serious book pitch. This is a book that makes fun of Divergent. It's a parody, so it follows the same basic story but is more outrageous, silly, stupid and all the other things that make a great parody great. Mockery has a proven track record delivering laughs and this one doesn't disappoint. If you loved Divergent, try Detergent!

    GET PSYCHED!You've seen him solve unsolvable crimes, stop unstoppable killers, and consume unconsumable breakfast cereals. Now Shawn Spencer (James Roday), the mastermind from TV's hit show Psych, shows you how to become a fake psychic-and a real detective-using his patented methods of crime-fighting awesomeness. Along the way, he'll help you deal with whiny sidekicks (that means you, Gus), interfering police officers (including but not limited to Chief Vick, Lassiter, Henry, Buzz MacNab, and, ah, Juliet), and flashes of genius (like Evel Knievel's white leather jumpsuit). You'll discover:How to set up a totally bitchin' office, where Wednesday = Ladies NightHow to convince your sidekick that he's really your partnerHow to pick up women at a crime sceneShawn's Stakeout Survival Guide, including sensible snacksGus's Scream-and-Run Method for confronting criminalsUnsolved mysteries like who stole Shawn's Sno-Caps in third gradeThe ideal sleuth car: Magnum, P.I.'s Ferrari or Knight Rider's K.I.T.T.?Who should play Shawn in the movie of his life: Christian Bale or Don Cheadle?New names for detectives, such as Rico Solvé and Sherlock Homeboy. . . and way more cool stuff.Packed with insane pop quizzes, unbelievable case studies, unflattering photos, and off-the-chart charts, this all-in-one guide will have you solving crimes and catching crooks like a pro-even if you don't have a clue.

    Tompkins, Paget Brewster, Busy Philipps, Nathan Fillion, Linda Cardellini, Patton Oswalt, Neil Patrick Harris, and many, many more. And now those serialized characters will come to life on the pages of this hardcover anthology featuring all-new stories from the worlds of the TAH universe by top artists from the comics community! Each stand-alone tale celebrates and reinvigorates a new genre from the radio comedies of yesteryear, including science fiction, fantasy, westerns, superheroes, horror, war dramas, and many more. A unique, timey-wimey blend of silver age pulp and post-modern pop, this one-of-a-kind anthology promises something for everyone as this cult phenomenon jumps off the proscenium stage and onto the page for the first time in over eight years and 100+ consecutive shows around the globe!

    The Hidden Tools of Comedy unlocks the unique secrets and techniques of writing comedy. Kaplan deconstructs sequences in popular films and TV that work and don’t work, and explains what tools were used (or should have been used).

    Together with Yorkshire terrier Ben-Ben and former archenemy Patches the cat, Riley struggles to keep the zombies at bay while helping her favorite human, Jessie, as they travel cross-country. They are a rag-tag group of survivors, who, when pushed to the limit, realize that they are all each other has. Books 1-4 + a bonus short story Pulse

    But sometimes, it just sucks. I know. I'm Amber Dusick and I started my blog Parenting: Illustrated with Crappy Pictures because I needed a place to vent about the funny (and frustrating) day-to-day things that happened to me as a parent. Turns out, poop is hilarious! At least when you're not the one wiping it up.This book won't make your frustrating moments any less crappy. But these stories about my Crappy Baby, Crappy Boy and my husband, Crappy Papa, will hopefully make you laugh. Because you're not alone. And sometimes the crappiest moments make the best memories. Parenting is wonderful! And also, well, you know.

    He is forced to go on a journey to prove himself, and soon discovers that his beliefs don't fit into the wider world.This is a light fantasy that is heavy on the humor with some romance and action as well. It has mature themes and language and is aimed at an adult audience.It is filled with everything a fantasy reader would want; dark magic, betrayal, zombies, vampires, a journey of discovery, secret plots, beautiful big breasted women, and murderous flesh eating rabbits.Just kidding about the rabbits.I'm saving them for the sequel.

    Written in two distinctive styles, it reflects the larger-than-life personalities of its authors, Jack and Michael Whitehall.'This book is a portrait of the pretty odd relationship I have with my elderly father. It's given me an opportunity to share memories of him losing his temper with foreigners on holidays, being rude to my mother's family at Christmas and failing epically during the fathers' race at my prep school. He's also written some stories about me, but can I just say, before you read anything, that I recall being a calm, well-behaved and learned child, not the intellectually subnormal, mal-coordinated dipshit that he paints me as. Nor am I, as he suggests inside, a sex addict, a flasher or a Scientologist.' - Jack'How dare Jack refer to me as elderly! People always tell me how young I look for my age. In this book, I have at last been able to recount the many occasions when I have been let down by my only son. He failed on the stage, the sports field and he even screwed up the interview for his first boarding school by pretending he had mental health issues. Despite being practically illiterate, he tells stories about me, strewn with grammatical errors and peppered with endless exaggerations and lies. I was a kind, doting father, who guided his son through his formative years with love, care and respect.' - Michael'I'm not your only son, what about Barnaby?''Oh yes, I forgot about Barnaby.'Packed with anecdotes, some embarrassing and indiscreet, many warm and touching, Him & Me is lavishly illustrated with family photographs and Jack's original illustrations. Friends, relatives, neighbours, teachers, actors, none are safe once Jack and Michael have opened up the Whitehall archives and shared their hilarious memories with us.

    Blake has made a career out of writing novels that make her readers want to leave the lights on at night. What Blake’s fans and very few people realize is that Blake Taylor is scared of her own shadow and just about everything else. After a family intervention, a case of writer’s block, and the desire to be free of the confines of fear, she leaves New York and rents a house in Cypress Glade, Louisiana. Quinn Scott, a local, is hired by Blake’s agent to be a tour guide of sorts for her most famous and troublesome client. The job seems simple for a thousand bucks a month, but as she gets to know Blake, it’s anything but easy. Birds, squirrels, broccoli, and dogs are fearsome creatures. Find a comfortable spot, visit Cypress Glade, and watch as these two women learn to conquer fears that don’t always go bump in the night. Be warned, a few feathers may fly…

    Despite struggling beneath the unresolved weight of his previous life and a too-heavy backpack, he still somehow manages to keep moving forward—step after step, mile after mile. Joining Bartleby on this journey is an ever-changing crew of oddballs and outsiders, the wandering men and women of the Appalachian Trail. With white blazes marking the way and little adventures around every corner, Bartleby & Company push through the Mid-Atlantic States and climb into the mountainous wilds of New England. Here concludes the story of a middle-aged man thru-hiking the Appalachian Trail against his will, against his better judgment and against all odds.

    In the last four years his TV show has become a number 1 ratings success and he's even making a movie.But Brendan has had to battle hard for success. The youngest of eleven children, his mother was Maureen O'Carroll, a former nun who went on to become the first woman to be elected to the Irish parliament. Brendan adored his strong, widowed mother—and she later became the inspiration for his indomitable character Agnes Brown.However, the family endured poverty reminiscent of Angela's Ashes and Brendan saw no option but to leave school at 12 to work. He married young and for decades struggled to make ends meet. Eventually, bankrupt and desperate, Brendan went to see a fortune teller who told him she could see his future achieving worldwide success as a comedian and actor. At first Brendan laughed at the notion, but then he thought of how much his friends loved his gags, and decided to give it a go...This is the magical story of how a loveable Irishman with a wig and a wit as caustic as battery acid surprised everyone—most of all himself—by becoming one of the best-loved comedians in the world.It is a story of hardship, heartbreak, and talent and will remind readers afresh that sometimes the facts can be even more extraordinary than the fiction.

    Play as Hamlet, Ophelia, or King Hamlet--if you want to die on the first page and play as a ghost. It's pretty awesome! Readers can follow Yorick skull markers to stick closely to Shakespeare's plot, or go off-script and explore alternative possibilities filled with puzzles and humor.Each ending in the book is accompanied by a full-color, full-page illustration by one of the 65 most excellent artists working today, so each rereading yields new surprises and rewards. Ryan's prose is, as always, colloquial and familiar but full of clever references, vivid imagination, and only the most choice of jokes. Inventive devices like a book-within-a-book (to mirror Hamlet's play-within-a-play) take full advantage of the gamebook medium and liven up the original story for even the most disinterested of Shakespeare readers!To Be or Not to Be became a sensation when it launched: over 15,000 people backed the book in just one month, and it remains the number-one most funded publishing project ever on Kickstarter.com.To be, or not to be: that is the adventure!

    It includes the following titles: Cave of the KoboldsZOMBIE ATTACK!!!Orcs, Bears, and AssholesShipfacedDungeon CrawlThe Creep on the BorderlandsIf you've already purchased all of these books, there is nothing new for you here. If you haven't yet purchased any, you can save a few bucks by buying this collection. If you've only purchased some of these already, you'll have to do some math.

    This books brings together the very best of those cartoons, featuring the secret thoughts and conversations of dogs of every size, shape and breed. The cartoons appeal to all sorts of people, from passionate dog lovers who have eight sleeping on their bed at night, to people who don't have any pets at all, but can still identify with the characteristics. Let's face it, who doesn't like to be fed, have their tummy stroked and snooze on the sofa in the afternoon? A celebration of our favorite belly-scratching, tail-chasing, bed-stealing canine friends.

    Cul de Sacis noted not only for its humour and intelligence, but also for creator Richard Thompson's fun, imaginative watercolour artwork. Cul de Sacis brought to life through manhole-dancing Alice Otterloop, a curious four-year-old who discovers life's ups and downs in suburbia. Along with her Blisshaven Preschool classmates, Alice charms fans of all ages with her escapades. From crafting projects in a cloud of glitter and glue or just trying to comprehend a completely incomprehensible world, Alice is a creature of pure and indomitable will, an irresistible force. Alice describes her father's car as a "Honda-Tonka Cuisinart" and talks to the class guinea pig, Mr. Danders. Alice is joined by her family: her older brother Petey who is intent on being the King of the Picky Eaters; her dad, who's the Assistant Director of Pamphlets at the U.S. Department of Consumption, Office of Consumer Complaints; and her mom, who is capable of doing a million things simultaneously, about five of them well. This library of cartoons and art will both delight long-time fans and provide a fantastic introduction to new readers.

    100 million people viewed those videos, turning Bo into an online sensation with a huge and dedicated following. Bo taped his first of two Comedy Central specials four days after his 18th birthday, making him the youngest to do so in the channel's history. Now Bo is a rising star in the comedy world, revered for his utterly original and intelligent voice. And, he can SIIIIIIIIING!In EGGHEAD, Bo brings his brand of brainy, emotional comedy to the page in the form of off-kilter poems, thoughts, and more. Teaming up with his longtime friend, artist, and illustrator Chance Bone, Bo takes on everything from death to farts in this weird book that will make you think, laugh and think, "why did I just laugh?"

    McNinja webcomic, prepare for a hefty dose of science, action, and outrageous comedy. This omnibus presents more than five-hundred pages of hilarious strips, some of them long out of print.

    He’s in love with his work colleague Melanie and his only friend Gary is a conspiracy theory nut. His life is going nowhere until he has a Near Death Experience - though Death thinks of it as a Near Dave Experience. He discovers gifts he never knew he possessed and a world he never dreamed existed. A world where the Grim Reaper is a hard drinking, grumpy Billy Joel fan and the undead are bored, lonely and dangerous. How To Be Dead is the first part in a three novella series that tells the story of Death and his office staff protecting humanity from ghosts, zombies, vampires and medium-sized apocalypses. After a nice cup of tea and a biscuit.

    But many who read Peanuts in their original Sunday papers remain fond of the striking coloring, which makes for a surprisingly different reading experience. It is for these fans (and for Peanuts fans in general who want to experience this alternate/original version) that we now present a series of larger, Sundays-only Peanuts reprints. As with most strips, Peanuts showed by far the quickest and richest development in its first decade, and Peanuts Every Sunday: 1952-1955, by compiling every strip from the first four years, offers a fascinating peek at Schulz's evolving creative process. Not only does the graphic side of the strips change drastically, from the strip's initial stiff, ultra-simple stylizations through a period of uncommonly lush, detailed drawings to something close to the final, elegant Peanuts style we've all come to know and love, but several main characters are gradually introduced -- oddly enough, usually as infants who would then grow up to full, articulate Peanut-hood! -- and then refined: Schroeder, Lucy, and Linus.

    

    As The Branson Tribune editor, Kate covers local news, which, more often than not, involves her accident-prone mom. Nothing truly newsworthy has ever happened in the quiet town until local teen Chelsea Bradford turns up dead in a Branson Falls lake. The police rule Chelsea’s death an accident, but Kate suspects there’s more to the story—and she’s not the only one. Two of Branson’s most eligible bachelors are determined to help her solve the crime—among other things. But the small town social network is faster than Twitter, and gossip about Kate’s love-life is quickly branding her the Branson Falls hussy. As Kate learns more about Chelsea, she discovers that plenty of people are trying to cover up the real story behind the girl’s death—including Chelsea’s parents. Now Kate has to juggle work, men, her mom’s most recent disaster involving a low-speed John Deere Combine chase on the freeway, and fend off the Mormons heaven-bent on saving her soul—all while solving Chelsea’s murder. Dealing with this is going to require a lot of coffee, chocolate frosted donuts, Neil Diamond's greatest hits, and a slew of words not on the town approved imitation swear list.

    The Gigantic Inflatable Snowman. We thought that ‘Frosty’ would lead to our demise. That 20-foot monstrosity had me questioning our decision to move into this seemingly quiet neighborhood on a cul-de-sac. Was I ever wrong. It turned out to be one of the best decisions we ever made. This book is dedicated to the memories and life-changing events that took place during our stay on Altamont Court. The people, the traditions, the holidays and the celebrations of life and love are all captured within these pages. Take a journey with me and read about the mayhem and mishaps that come into play when you mix together a potpourri of characters that live within a stone’s throw of each other. Take an eco-friendly, high-strung type A neighbor, a demanding Italian Matriarch, men who are the embodiment of the words “More Power,” a troop of loving and mischievous kids and mix in two gay men who are hell-bent on making a home out of a charming half-million-dollar fixer upper and you have the residents of Altamont Court. My name is Trent and Ken is my partner. This is our journey and our way of giving thanks to those who shared it along the way. Whether you are a weekend warrior who can't wait to get his hands around the next "improvement project", a stiletto-wearing Texas woman who wields a gun in flawless makeup, or a queen from the city who eagerly awaits the next big sales event at Neiman Marcus - this memoir is for you. Pour a drink, sit back, relax and enjoy - and if you don't, then the words of a truly classy character and dear friend come to mind, "What the F&%$’s wrong with you?" Yes, it's that kind of party - bless our hearts.trentpines@gmail.comwww.trentpines.com

    Lee Martinez delivers his first short story collection, featuring ten original tales based on his previous fantasy and science fiction novels. If you're a Martinez fan, this collection is surely something you've been waiting for. If you're simply Martinez curious (and who isn't?) this is a great sampling of strange worlds of fantasy featuring talking gorillas, sensible housekeeping kobolds, cosmic monster gods, and world-conquering space squids. These all-new, all-different tales are available for the first time. Within you'll find tales of werewolf versus bigfoot, ogre versus wizard, and rock alien versus romantic entanglement. You'll experience a terrifying descent into madness via pizza delivery and the existential angst of the gods of death. You'll discover why it's a bad idea to feed the pixies and why it's a good idea to always bring along a magical broom on your adventures. A collection eight years in the making (and worth every year), Robots versus Slime Monsters might not actually have any stories where a robot fights a slime monster, but it does feature a gorilla wrestling a lion. And in the end, isn't that almost as good?

    

    These episodes feature a tiger with a gun, reveal the truth behind the war effort, visit some documentary-makers, has a big debate and then treats itself to a little trophy. Plus, there are also some musical interludes from the zoo. John Finnemore's Souvenir Programme is written by and stars John Finnemore (The Now Show, Miranda, That Mitchell and Webb Look). It also features Carrie Quinlan (The News Quiz, The Late Edition), Lawry Lewin (The Life & Times of Vivienne Vyle, Horrible Histories) and Simon Kane (Six Impossible Things).

    Schottenfreude is a unique, must-have dictionary, complete with newly coined words that explore the idiosyncrasies of life as only the German language can. In what other language but German could you construct le mot juste for a secret love of bad foods, the inability to remember jokes, Sunday-afternoon depression, the urge to yawn, the glee of gossip, reassuring your hairdresser, delight at the changing of the seasons, the urge to hoard, or the ineffable pleasure of a cold pillow? A beguiling, ideal gift book for the Gelehrte or anyone on your list—just beware of rapidly expanding (and potentially incomprehensible) vocabularies.

    It's an ok job, but it isn't as exciting as most people think, and that's fine by him. He makes it a rule not to get involved in active police cases or in any case where people are likely to get hurt—especially him. So why does the mob suddenly want him dead? Sure it’s all a mistake, but dead from a mistake is still dead.Taking advice from his friend, The Juke, he starts on a cross country drive to LA (what can I tell you, he has a few phobias, and flying is just one of them), and makes it as far as Mystic Falls, New Mexico before the borrowed Mercedes conks out. Mystic Falls? Think Green Acres—without the sophistication.All he had to do was lie low and wait for the car to be fixed. A good plan too. It might have worked if only the local "character" hadn’t turned up missing, with him as the prime suspect. Now if he ever wants to get out of this sleepy desert asylum, he’s going to have to find her. Fat chance.

    Dorothy Rose Nolte Hughes, however, hides a second diary under the polka-dot towels and causes quite a stir in the family. Her use of metaphor, alliteration, and analogies keep readers learning some new turns-of-phrase and laughing while uncovering some family truths that lay hidden from the world. Dottie’s daughter isn’t interested in the language and turn-of-phrase, however, only the secrets revealed to the one who finds the diary. Dottie’s favorite granddaughter, her husband, and their six dachshunds take care of Granny but her diary leaves them not only befuddled and confused but also excited and elevated in spirit. Moving back and forth between the granddaughter’s story-telling and the grandmother’s diary entries, readers are compelled to keep reading to the very end and learn about fairytales as part of the truth. Does the truth hide in fairytales and come forth when least expected or do fairytales hide in truth and just sort of spontaneously spew forth?Show more Show less

    But when the guy in the grave turns out to still be alive, things get just a bit more complicated. SINGLE WHITE PSYCHOPATH SEEKS SAME, in which Andrew is forced to pose as a serial killer known as The Headhunter. He must infiltrate a group of maniacs who’ve gathered in an isolated Alaskan mansion for a weekend of murderous games. Can he free the potential victims in time, or will he be forced to participate in their demise? CASKET FOR SALE (ONLY USED ONCE), in which Andrew is just taking a relaxing camping trip with his friends and family. No shortcuts. The gas tank is full. The sinister warning of the crazy old man is taken seriously. Unfortunately, when you’re Andrew Mayhem, you just can’t help being attacked by a group of savage killers bent on inflicting ghastly torture and bringing horrific death... LOST HOMICIDAL MANIAC (ANSWERS TO "SHIRLEY"), in which Andrew's past comes back to haunt him in a big ugly way, and he finds himself handcuffed to a beautiful woman who may or may not be a psycho killer. “Strand performs an incredible balancing act between humor and horror. Belly laughs are followed by stomach-churning terror, frequently on the same page.” –Cemetery Dance Includes a foreword by the lovely, talented, and frightening James A. Moore.

    It is "Season One" of the The Owl Wood series.FLIGHT will transport you to an insane world of elderly, talking, pole-dancing dogs, intelligent pheasant, screaming sheep and cute mendicant monk rats with little rat-tonsures and sandals. A verbose world, a delicious world with absolutely no sub-plot, no meaning and dashed little in the way of d’etre raisins. This book should be eaten as one might eat a large bag of sweets, and with similar expectations of eventually needing a dentist to attend to the cavities your mind.The Owl Wood is a real, if somewhat tiny patch of English woodland set aside specifically for the use of nesting English owls. For five years in a row now no owl has deigned to take up residence. Oh, they fly through and we hear them at night but do they settle down and breed? Not a bit of it. Consequently, there are very few owls in this book, and if you ask me - it serves them right. When they do nest, then I’ll write about them. Until then we’ll stick to the most unlikely wildlife of all.There’s a wheezy badger with the transplanted lungs of a sparrow, an all-pheasant pub quiz team and a dog that, but for her flatulence problems, would be able to successfully disguise herself as a eucalyptus tree by standing on one leg and freezing. There are three rather philosophically-minded hens, one of whom is the local Police Constable and has replacement steel buttocks and a Taser. Elvis and Amelia Earhart re-appear (quite separately; there’s been nothing untoward going on) and there’s a right royal punch-up when Santa d'Claus croaks, assumes ambient temperature, puts on a wooden overcoat and Christmas is summarily cancelled. It’s all splendid blathering nonsense such as one might read as a bed-time story to one’s pet dog or read while waiting for the cistern to refill in the smallest room in the house.FLIGHT is four separate short stories, some 55,000 words in total, and is the Season One of, naturally, four such seasons. Springtime arrives in the next volume, and everyone goes a bit Pagan and back to nature. We all go back to nature eventually, even if only via the crematorium flue. It's being so cheerful that keeps the author going.

    In VAL there’s no line a vampire won’t cross to secure a true mate once found. Only death can separate them….Set Three: Immortality contains the following novellas:ANYONE HERE: Cassandra Braun is a Victorian vampire with a vendetta. There’s nothing better than taking from a young male. Virile. In his prime. If he’s self-assured and cocky, it’s even better. The assignment to investigate Jacob Walsh’s enterprise and terminate if necessary is easy money. Until she touches him...WITH JUST CAUSE: Grimm Bradley’s eternity matches his life: that side of acceptable, this side of dangerous. He’s dark. Incredibly handsome. Brawny. Wary. Keeps to the shadows, avoiding trouble. Especially with women. They’re always trouble. With a capital ‘T’.WHY THESE TWO: Spawned by the Black plague and tempered by steel, Medieval vampire Reika is perfect with any blade, but especially her prized Seventeenth century Italian daggers. She ought to be. She's had five hundred years of training. Honing her skills. Perfecting her aim. Notching her kills. Watching time pass. Every day like the other. And then...something changes. CANNOT UNITE: KayNan’s a barbarian from the darkest of ages. An ex-slave. Fighter. Killer. His past is steeped in despair and punishment. He’s brutal. Remorseless. Scarred. Centuries of a living death only cemented these traits. And then something happens. Something vast. Incalculable. Amazing. And totally unexpected…

    Her poetry: bad. Her job: bad. Her girlfriend: bad, bad, bad. It’s time to reboot her life. New neighbor Sparky McAllister could be just the woman to revive Victoria’s fortunes, but Sparky is working on an unwelcome reboot of her own—and Victoria is exactly the kind of distraction she has sworn to avoid. Will it be a bad moon or a love moon rising over Moon Street? 2nd edition

    Classics from the website, including “Dear Sriracha Rooster Sauce,” “What It Means When You Say Literally,” and “What We Should Have Been Taught in Our Senior Year of High School,” are featured alongside never-before-seen works of epic hilarity that will delight veteran and newbie Oatmeal fans alike.Matthew Inman’s first collection of The Oatmeal.com spent six weeks on the New York Times bestseller list and sold 200,000 copies. This pivotal and influential comic collection titled 5 Very Good Reasons to Punch a Dolphin in the Mouth introduced Samurai sword-wielding kittens and informed us on how to tell if a velociraptor is having pre-marital sex. Matthew's cat-themed collection How to Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting to Kill You is a #1 New York Times bestseller and has sold over 350,000 copies. Now with Why Grizzly Bears Should Wear Underpants, Inman offers a delicious, tantalizing follow-up featuring all new material that has been posted on the site since the publication of the first book plus never-before-seen comics that have not appeared anywhere.  As with every Oatmeal collection, there is a pull-out poster at the back of the book.In this second collection of over 50 comics, you'll be treated to the hilarity of "The Crap We Put Up with Getting On and Off an Airplane," "Why Captain Higgins Is My Favorite Parasitic Flatworm," "This Is How I Feel about Buying Apps," "6 Things You Really Don't Need to Take a Photo of," and much more. Along with lambasting the latest culture crazes, Inman serves up recurrent themes such as foodstuffs, holidays, e-mail, as well as technological, news-of-the-day, and his snarky yet informative comics on grammar and usage. Online and in print, The Oatmeal delivers brilliant, irreverent comic hilarity.

    

    These three family men happily live the typical suburban family life-their only real problems have been with each other and the draconian rules of the HOA. That all changes when the dead rise from their graves and walk the Earth. Now they must reluctantly join together to survive the spreading apocalypse and find their families. Personal fears, long buried secrets and their own personalities threaten to tear the group apart as they make their way across the zombie ridden landscape in Dumb White Husbands vs. Zombies. This Zomnibus collects Dumb White Husbands vs. Zombies Monday - The Weekend.

    He daydreams about the day when his band, Goat Cheese Pizza, records their first monster hit single and they all pile into his van for their cross-country, sold-out concert tour. Between naps, study hall, and band practice, Jeremy still manages to find time to be the star of the hugely popular comic strip, Zits.Jeremy is a good kid. He is intelligent and kind, yet he still has the attitude that one would expect from a teenager. His unpredictable mood swings and monosyllabic answers to his parents’ mild-mannered questions often leave them baffled and bemused.The creators, who are parents themselves, have a keen insight into the many physical and emotional changes that teens go through during adolescence, and they have the gift of addressing these common dilemmas with compassion and humor.

    In this extended interview, Getlen spoke to Carlin about all the subjects above and more, finding the veteran comic, who changed the way comedians approach the art of stand-up comedy several times over the course of his remarkable fifty-year career, to be even more intelligent and contemplative than one might expect. Carlin never shied away from difficult subjects, answering every question as if he had been mulling over the topic at hand for years before reaching his well-stated conclusion. Conversations with Carlin highlights the comedian’s anti-authoritarian views - what he would refer to as his “outsidership” - on almost every page, and features his extensive thoughts on the topics most closely associated with him, comedy and words. But the book also presents sides of the man that his fans have rarely, if ever, seen before, as he discusses topics like the importance to him of romantic love - George was with the same woman for almost four decades, until her death in 1997 - and the conditions under which he would put his life on the line and go off to war. Conversations with Carlin will be a revelation for longtime fans, providing one of the most in-depth looks yet at this brilliant comedy icon, while also serving as the perfect introduction for those just now discovering George Carlin and his vast influence on the comedy world. ABOUT THE AUTHOR Larry Getlen is a veteran journalist who has written for TIME, Esquire, New York Magazine, Radar, and the New York Post. He’s also a comedy writer and former stand-up comedian who has appeared on “Chappelle’s Show,” and was once booed off-stage at the legendary Apollo Theater in Harlem. He lives in New York City. Follow him on Twitter @larrygetlen.

    Star of over twenty-five films, which have been watched over 350 million times, and winner of a dozen major industry awards, Simon's Cat has captured the hearts of a global audience. In this first major paperback edition author, animator and illustrator Simon Tofield brings together the best cartoons from the first three bestselling books, with exclusive new material and a unique 'How to Draw' section. This really is The Bumper Book of Simon's Cat.

    Sequel to Special A.

    For decades your teachers, authority figures and textbooks have been lying to you. You do not have five senses. Your tongue doesn't have neatly segregated taste-bud zones. You don't know what the pyramids really looked like. You're even pooping wrong - Jesus, you're a wreck!But it's going to be okay. Because we're here to help. Packed with more sexy facts than the Encyclopedia Pornographica, the Cracked De-Textbook will teach you about the true stars of history, why you picture everything from Velociraptors to Ancient Rome incorrectly, and finally, at long last - how to pop a proper squat. This book was built from the ground up to systematically seek out, dismantle and destroy the many untruths that years of misguided education have left festering inside of you, and leave you a smarter person...whether you like it or not. The De-Textbook is a merciless, brutal learning machine. It can't be bargained with. It can't be reasoned with. It doesn't feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And it absolutely will not stop, ever, until you are informed.

    Chris Evans, Chris Moyles, Rob Brydon and Steve Wright have all cited Kenny as a huge influence on their work - even the great Spike Milligan called him a genius. It was Kenny who developed the radio show format with which we are so familiar today: a mix of music, jingles, funny voices and sound effects. When he seamlessly made the move to television in the seventies, he created unforgettable characters such as Sid Snot, Cupid Stunt and Marcel Wave. Rarely seen without a smile on his face in public, in reality, Kenny was a deeply insecure man who suffered severe bouts of depression. He also struggled with his sexuality, only coming out to the public in 1985. Diagnosed with HIV in 1987, Kenny died in 1995. This in-depth and affectionate biography has been fully authorised by Kenny's family and contains original interviews with Kenny's sister, Kate and with his former wife, Lee, as well as entertainment figures such as Barry Cryer, Cliff Richard, Chris Tarrant and Paul Gambaccini. Packed with fabulous stories about the highs and lows of Kenny's life, his great friendships with The Beatles and Freddie Mercury, this is a book that any fan of comedy and entertainment must read.

    Sure, sometimes being diminutive gets you the short end of the stick, but there are also plenty of unique advantages to being under 5’4”—and Murphy has compiled the 100 best reasons in the delightfully whimsical I’d Rather Be Short. Illustrated in a charming, quirky style, I’d Rather Be Short highlights the benefits of being petite, from the sensible to the absurd, including: ·        You get the best of both worlds: kids’ meals and cocktail parties·        You’re never expected to help your friends move·        Concertgoers usually won’t hassle you when you shimmy up to the front·        You’re less likely to get struck by lightning·        Skirts can be dresses; dresses can be skirts·        You’re just the way you should be Witty and heartwarming, I’d Rather Be Short is a celebration of self-acceptance—and an instant ego boost to pint-sized ladies everywhere.

    Neville is on the lookout for a woman (any woman will do), and Julian just wants to be young again. Edie is the wrong side of 70, and Roz is a size zero fitness queen. These characters, together with one very overweight Alice, all meet up for the first time at their local Pilates class. Petra, the class instructor, has no idea what she has let herself in for!

    Gru used to be one of the most villainous villains in the world. He and his army of Minions even stole the moon! But when he adopted Margo, Edith, and Agnes, Gru became a dad. Instead of stealing landmarks, he makes pancakes, blows up unicorn balloons, and dresses like a fairy princess!Little does this dad know, though, he's about to make another career change--as a spy for the Anti-Villain League...

    TNT struck ratings gold with "Rizzoli & Isles, " a series based on Gerritsen's "New York Times" bestsellers. And now the first ten Rizzoli & Isles novels are together in one convenient eBook bundle. "Gerritsen has a knack for creating great characters and mysterious plots that seem straightforward but also dazzle with complexity and twists."--Associated Press, on "Last to Die" This bundle includes the following titles: THE SURGEON THE APPRENTICE THE SINNER BODY DOUBLE VANISH THE MEPHISTO CLUB THE KEEPSAKE ICE COLD THE SILENT GIRL LAST TO DIE Praise for Tess Gerritsen and her Rizzoli & Isles series "[Gerritsen] has an imagination that allows her to conjure up depths of human behavior so dark and frightening that she makes Edgar Allan Poe and H. P. Lovecraft seem like goody-two-shoes."--"Chicago Tribune" "One of the most versatile voices in thriller fiction today."--"The Providence Journal" " " "A briskly paced, terrifically suspenseful work that steadily builds toward a tense and terrifying climax."--"People"," "on" The Surgeon" "Richly suspenseful and provocative . . . leaves the reader breathless."--"The Philadelphia Inquirer"," "on "Body Double" "Gerritsen, as always, puts her medical training to ghoulish use."--"The Boston Globe" "The kind of book you'd read in one sitting."--"Chicago Sun-Times"," "on" Ice Cold" " " "Suspense doesn't get smarter than this. Not just recommended but mandatory."--Lee Child, on "The Silent Girl"

    A collection of an artist's strangely good-natured confrontations between his favorite movie characters.

    Sniff is causing trouble with another of his get-rich-quick schemes, Moominmaiden falls in love with the inspector's bad-boy nephew, and Moominmamma is offering up plum cake to whosoever should need it. As always, the experiences of the Moomin family are poignant, melancholy, and strangely wise, with just a dash of the drolly funny and a pinch of slapstick. Without a doubt, Jansson's Moomin Book Eight is a treat for the whole family.

    In a matter of hours she is harassed by East End gangsters and upper crust aristocrats. Accepting an offer she can’t refuse, Harriet, against her better judgment becomes the fiancée of the wealthy Hamilton Lancaster, with dire consequences. What she had not bargained on was meeting Doctor Brice Edmunds.The Valentine Present and Other Diabolical Liberties is Lynda Renham’s funniest novel so far. A cocktail of misunderstandings, three unlikely gangsters, a monkey and a demented cat make this novel a hysterical read. Follow Harriet’s adventure where every attempt to get out of trouble puts her deeper in it.

    Illustrated in a classic Norman Rockwell–inspired style, A Very Klingon Khristmas is the perfect holiday gift for every Star Trek fan!

    Emilion,” “Due to the laughter you owe my secretary one clean pair of knickers.”Two reviewers have even suggested I should tour as a stand-up comedian; “I found myself laughing out-loud and even sharing segments with my spouse ….. I think Karl could tour as a stand-up comedian,” “Mr Wiggins has views on life that are expressed in a manner worthy of any stand-up comedian.” So my scribblings do seem to raise a smile and a chuckle, and either way you look at it, that has to be a good thing. “I got kicked out of bed TWICE for laughing so hard. This is, by far, one of the funniest books I've yet read” “JFC!!!! This is soooo hilarious”“I have never, ever read a book that caught me so unawares and made me laugh so much as Calico Jack. I laughed and laughed so much on the train home that I had to stop reading it. He is capable of making the reader cry with laughter” “There were times when I had to set the Kindle down and just laugh out loud. Some of Mr Wiggins' thoughts are just hilarious” Whilst it’s evident that a number of people love my writing - I've even been told by some that they settle themselves with a cup of coffee before reading my blogs, Newspaper columns or Facebook posts - I'm very much aware that I have an inappropriate sense of humour that isn’t to everyone’s taste. In short, not everyone ‘gets’ me. Hardly any subject is taboo to the Englishman when he’s laughing, and this often seems insensitive to other cultures, but the bedrock of the British sense of humour is a strong sense of sarcasm and self-deprecation. The British can be very passionate – and if you doubt that try going to a football match - but that passion is often hidden deep in our humour so that other nationals fail to not only recognise the deadpan delivery but are never too sure if they’ve been involved in a serious conversation or just a little bit of friendly banter. Having said that my style of writing is now appealing more and more to the American market.No longer simply a fad, blogging is now an important new literary innovation. This book is not a story, and if you’re looking for a book that is all sweetness and light, please give this one a miss. It’s not for you. I won’t be offended and I honestly wish you a great life. If everyone likes me, then I’m not being controversial enough. If you’re looking for Humorous books about Life, Comedy Writing or even Humorous Books for Adults then take a chance on this book; I’ve been told I write with an “easy-going style and a zest for living that is infectious.” I’m not so sure about that, but I have an opinion on a range of hot issues, although you don’t have to agree with all my views to enjoy the ride. Other comments on my writing style warn that I "talk to the reader with all the confidence of a man in touch with his own reality, in a voice which is seasoned with a hint of world weariness that is so telling of a writer who has written what he knows and written it with disarming fearlessness." And that I guess is true. I can be a handful at times and I know it. I’m strong-willed, a bit outspoken and I write exactly what I’m thinking. It’s not to everyone’s taste, but this is a book you can dip in and out of whenever the mood takes you. I hope you enjoy!

    More than 50 years later, The Smurfs continue to delight us all with their silliness, bravery, heroism, and heart, and now we finally have a definitive collection of Peyo's original comics to see where it all began.Newly remastered and presented in original publication order, along with a Smurfy collection of historical notes and photographs, the stories in this volume introduce us to Papa Smurf, Gargamel, Smurfette, and the rest of the village in some of the most highly regarded comics the medium has ever known.

    He may be older, wiser and more experienced, but his patients are no less outrageous.Drawing on his time working as a medical student, a locum, and a general practitioner, Dr Daniels would like to introduce you to …The old age pensioner who can’t keep his hands to himself.The teenager convinced that he lost his virginity and caught HIV sometime between leaving a bar and waking up in a kebab shop.A female patient Dr Daniels recognises from his younger, bachelor years.The woman whose mobile phone turns up in an unexpected place.A Jack Russell with a bizarre foot fetish.Crackhead Kenny.Not to mention the super nurses, anxious parents, hypochondriacs, jumpy medical students and kaleidoscope of care workers that make up Dr Daniels’ daily shift.Further Confessions of a GP is the eagerly anticipated follow-up to the bestselling Confessions of a GP. With more eyebrow-raising stories from the world of general practice, Dr Daniels will once again amuse, shock and surprise.You’ll never feel the same about going to the doctor again…From the Back CoverFurther Confessions of a GP is a witty insight into the life of a family doctor. Funny and moving in equal measure it will change the way you look at your GP next time you pop in with the sniffles.About the AuthorDr Benjamin Daniels is a GP. That is about as much as we can reveal about him.

    17 short stories and 8 poems by a Malaysian National Laureate, focusing more on his satirical, passionate and 'naughty' works.

    Now Adrian's been volunteered to run it. From the confusion of arrival when Anne is allocated to the top bunk with a schizophrenic recovery group, and Adrian is in a low-ceilinged 'pod' at the top of the tower, to the hugs and tears of departure, this is typical Plass, humorous and heartwarming in equal measure.

    . . snow. Lots of it. Join our dynamic duo as they battle the elements, each other, and a Siberian husky named Sadie—all in an ill-fated attempt to host their first holiday party. “Blended Families,” the latest tale of Diz and Clarissa, is a rollicking, yuletide romp that combines Meet the Parents with The Nightmare Before Christmas. Join Diz and Clarissa as they welcome Bernard and Elspeth Wiley, Art and Maggie Gillespie, a priest, an ex-nun, a German widow, a felonious Siberian husky, and a well-dressed Whippet named Maris. Three combines the all-new “Blended Families” with the bonus addition of two previously published Diz and Clarissa stories, “Nevermore!” and A Christmas Tree Grows in Baltimore. The trilogy is a holiday omnibus not to be missed.

    This coloring book features 20 examples of the dinosaur driving instructors, dog groomers, astronauts, tech support specialists, and more whose work makes our world a better place.

    Dominic Holland is this 'celebrity' dad - a professional stand-up comedian and author. He has appeared on television many times including The Royal Variety Show and Have I Got News For You. He has had his own award winning BBC Radio Four series, The Small World of Dominic Holland. A published author, journalist and writer for other famous comedians... So no slouch himself then. But his eldest son, Tom, played Billy in BILLY ELLIOT THE MUSICAL in London's West End and then was cast in the leading role of Lucas in the film, THE IMPOSSIBLE, now on general release in cinemas worldwide. As well as stand-up comedy, fortunately for this story, Dominic Holland has also taken a crack at Hollywood with his writing and compared to his son, with very contrasting results. Tom flies back and forth to LA to accept and give out awards while his dad still treads the boards and in smaller and less salubrious venues that most egos could bear. "How tom holland eclipsed his dad" is an extraordinary true story and a complete fluke. Without a drama lesson in site, let alone a stage school, how a young boy gets himself long listed for an Academy Award and gets to meet and mix with Hollywood's glitterati is an interesting tale on its own - but the story is hilarious when set against the endeavours of his dad. Written with great affection by a dad who is much more proud than he is bemused, this book will appeal to any parent who wants their kid to prevail and to any kid who casually dreams of becoming a star themself.

    And those knitting needles aren't just for craft projects. To most people, Gin Bombay is an ordinary single mom. Then again, they don't know she's from a family of top secret assassins. Somewhere between leading a Girl Scout troop for her kindergartner—would nooses count for a knot badge?—and Gin now has to take out a new target. Guns Will Keep Us Together - book #2 Dakota Bombay prided himself on his Bond-like image---bad-guy killer by day, lady-killer by night. But his life gets both shaken and stirred by an irate grandmother demanding a marketing plan for the family assassination business, a precocious six-year-old son he never knew he had, and a mysterious redheaded funeral director who's got him intrigued in more ways than one. Stand By Your Hitman - book #3 Missi Bombay invents things--fatal flowers, Jell-O bullets, stroke-inducing panty hose and other ways to kill a target without leaving any trace behind. Unfortunately, the family that kills together also meddles together, and when Missi's mom decides her daughter's life is a little too solitary, she packs Missi off the Costa Rica for an undercover assignment on a Survival reality TV show I Shot You Babe - book #4 Coney Bombay isn't your average PhD. While he may be well versed in philosophy, he's also one of the most lethal members of the Bombay Family of assassins. Even in his crazy family, Cy stands out as wild card. But after a series of run-ins with perennial grad student, Veronica Gale, the cool cat is starting to feel a little hot under the collar. Greatest Hits Mysteries: 'Scuse Me While I Kill This Guy – book #1 Guns Will Keep Us Together – book #2 Stand By Your Hitman – book #3 I Shot You Babe – book #4 Paradise by the Rifles Sights – book #5 Snuff the Magic Dragon – book #6 My Heroes Have Always Been Hitmen - book #7 Have Yourself a Deadly Little Christmas - holiday short story Four Killing Birds - holiday short story

    In reality, mythology is more screwed up than a schizophrenic shaman doing hits of unidentified. Wait, it all makes sense now. In Zeus Grants Stupid Wishes, Cory O’Brien, creator of Myths RETOLD!, sets the stories straight. These are rude, crude, totally sacred texts told the way they were meant to be told: loudly, and with lots of four-letter words. Skeptical? Here are just a few gems to consider: � Zeus once stuffed an unborn fetus inside his thigh to save its life after he exploded its mother by being too good in bed. � The entire Egyptian universe was saved because Sekhmet just got too hammered to keep murdering everyone. � The Hindu universe is run by a married couple who only stop murdering in order to throw sweet dance parties…on the corpses of their enemies. � The Norse goddess Freyja once consented to a four-dwarf gangbang in exchange for one shiny necklace. And there’s more dysfunctional goodness where that came from.

    By no means -- as Ella herself insisted -- is she a negative person. Persistent might be a better word; she is the kind of person you'd askfor directions if you were lost, or provides you with a long chat while waitingin line at the grocery store. "Nobody, and I mean nobody, can nag like I can." Written from a first person point of view, protagonist Ella Boudreaux immediately establishes her unique skill set.And where has it gotten her? Nowhere, that's where. She can't hold onto a job and she can't find her true calling, but she knows it's out there. Could a handsome stranger help her find her destiny? Or maybe he was her destiny...

    Proving that this is a province that is proud of who it is and likes nothing better than a good laugh, this collection tickles the funny bone on every page. Perfect for visitors or longtime residents, this joke book is sure to bring laughs to any reader familiar with the Land of the Bluenose.

    However, after eleven years of being in a committed relationship, the now single Annie is filled with self doubts and is unsure of her future. After setting her sights on her handsome co-worker Ray, a girl’s night out with her two best friends could change everything. Will a scorching, sex filled one night stand reawaken her libidinous desires, will she give her ex a second chance or will she ultimately wind up in the rugged arms of Ray?

    Kent loudly to the assembled throng of village folk that had set up their headquarters in my inn. I raised my hand. Mrs. Kent beamed at me. "Yes, Esther?" "It's already there." The beam dimmed. "What's already there, dear?" "Fishermans Rest." She was becoming confused. My boredom was dissipating by the second. "Fishermans Rest is already where, dear?" she asked. "On the map. It's how I found it to begin with. Followed the little red line till it became an even littler red line. The red line stopped. This was at the end of it." Silence. I had made my point. I might attend more of these meetings. The Maudlin Wives Inn - An Esther Quill Mystery, from Mik and Drew Mehrtens. wwww.mikanddrew.com

    Laughs Last is a rumination on family, legacy, talent, and the fluidity of time, a poignant dream of adulthood coming in fits and starts to our protagonist Damon Blazer. With a quick mind and an instinct to flee (preferably before getting punched, but not before getting in a punchline), Blazer comes from a family whose laughs never mean just one thing. He struggles to glean what lessons he can from his brutish and detached brother, his grieving but understanding mother, and his aloof but proud father, but it's the inheritance of his grandfather's lessons that truly form the backbone of Blazer's biography. In his relationship with the storied comedian and the slow reveal of just what Damon did at his grandfather's funeral, readers find a gripping narrative that holds our attention from the first page to the last. The author deftly bobs and weaves through a disjointed timeline that runs like an extended callback, revealing a storyteller who can't pause for audience reaction because he has something more important to do. By seeing the stages of grief revealed across a lifetime, readers are left to wonder whether memories are enlarged by tunnel vision or by virtue of actual weight. Is that water-colored feeling of nostalgia-available at any age-imparted by the true flow of time, or must we acquiesce to the facts of chronology? Blazer fumbles to avoid feeling foolish, to avoid being a hack, to avoid a lifetime of nothing special. And while he's at it, we meet a novelist for a new century. Ladies and gentlemen, Dylan Brody.

    I've never worried about life's big questions. People at my age sit about pondering "why are we here?" The only time I ever asked myself that is when Suzanne booked us a surprise holiday to Lanzarote.'Karl Pilkington is forty years old. He's not married, he doesn't have kids, and he's got a job where he's known as an 'idiot'. It's time for him to take stock and face up to life's big question - what does it all mean?Karl is no stranger to travel, and now he's off on a series of adventures around the globe to find out how other cultures approach life's big issues. Travelling from far-flung tribes to high-tech cities, Karl experiences everything from a drive-thru wedding in Las Vegas to a vocational theme park in Japan, he meets a group of people in Mexico who find happiness through pain, undergoes a plastic surgery procedure in LA, and even encounters a woman in Bali who lets him help deliver her baby. Have his experiences changed him? Find out in this hilarious new book where Karl shares his stories (and opinions) in his inimitable style. Karl Pilkington is back on the road, and this time he's on a journey of self-discovery...

    I" contains the early masterpieces by the greatest minimalist writer ever to hail from Youngstown, Ohio. Collecting Noah Cicero's most acclaimed and popular works, this volume includes the short novels "The Human War" (soon to be a major motion picture), "The Doomed," "The Condemned," and "Burning Babies," along with rare novellas and short stories that have not been available to the public in years. Stark in their beauty, raw in their sadness, and driven by a desperate compulsion to save - and be saved by - humanity, "The Collected Works of Noah Cicero Vol. I" highlights what it is to be young and poor in America. Buy this book and learn why freedom is good. Buy this book and become beautiful. Buy this book and know that the distance between you and happiness is the distance between you and the nearest Denny's. So get in the car and drive.

    "Sulley" Sullivan are an inseparable pair, but that wasn't always the case. From the moment these two mismatched monsters met, they couldn't stand each other. The prequel to Disney/Pixar's blockbuster hit Monsters, Inc., Monsters University unlocks the door to how Mike and Sulley overcame their differences and became the best of friends. Screaming with laughter and fun, the film opens on June 21, 2013, and will be shown in Disney Digital 3-D(TM) in select theaters. Monsters University: The Junior Novelization retells the whole story and features eight pages of full-color images from the film

    And he'll try to finish the joke. But he may not remember to get to the punchline, because he's distracted by hysterical thoughts of fatherhood, Helen of Troy, and shark penises. The host of CBS's The Late Late Show unleashes his trademark stream-of-consciousness comedy before a sold-out Washington, DC, crowd. Definitely not for children. Or the easily offended. Or Mel Gibson.©2013 Craig Ferguson (P)2013 New Wave Dynamics

    A guidance counselor at a Miami second chance school, she longs to be a teacher but sends the students scattering like roaches, calling her beastly names. Principal Hector Rivera says she's too high society, unable to relate. His criticism would be easier to take if the two weren't having a rocky, not-so-private affair. Still reeling from a series of failed marriages can she prove to Hector -- everyone -- that she has what it takes to lead a class? Recruiting three unlikely students, she devises a secret plan to instruct Miami's greatest social misfits the one subject she knows best -- etiquette. But who's teaching whom? And in the end, to what depths will Desperation plunge to learn the truth about life, love, and being a lady? A romance of hilarity in the most nontraditional sense!

    Her unemployed husband spends all day complaining about life, moping around, or fixing lawnmowers on her kitchen table. The local writing class proves to be an adequate distraction with its eccentric collection of wannabe authors and, of course, the enigmatic Jason, who soon shows a romantic interest in her.Dawn pours her inner frustrations into her first novel about the extraordinary exploits of Cinnamon Knight, an avenging angel -- a woman who doesn't believe in following the rules. Cinnamon is ruthless and wanton, inflicting suffering on any man who warrants it. Little does Dawn realise that soon the line between reality and fiction will blur. Her own life will be transformed, and those close to her will pay the price. Find out what happens in Just Add Spice by best-selling author Carol E Wyer.

    There are cameos from other titles as well.

    To celebrate Valentine's Day, I present a special Half-Moon Hollow short story featuring all the vampire men we know and love.

    And when Maurice turns Reginald to save his life, it's just Reginald's own further bad luck that he wakes up to discover he's become the slowest, weakest, most out-of-shape vampire ever born, doomed to "heal" to his corpulent self for all of eternity.As Reginald struggles with the downsides of being a fat vampire -- too slow to catch people to feed on, mocked by those he tries to glamour, assaulted by his intended prey and left for undead -- he discovers in himself rare powers that few vampires have… and just in time too, because the Vampire Council might just want his head for being an inferior representative of their race. Fat Vampire is the story of an unlikely hero who, after having an imperfect eternity shoved into his grease-stained hands, must learn to turn the afterlife's lemons into tasty lemon danishes.

    Whether she's telling ghost stories, turning back time, battling with mischievous wands, or getting ready for a night of trick-or-treating, Winnie brings her very own brand of muddled-up magic to everything she does. Fans who have grown up with Winnie, or those new to her charms, can enjoy her chaotic capers in this latest young fiction title, perfect for reading alone or for sharing at bedtime. Korky Paul's exuberant black line illustrations complement the humour, slapstick, and moments of real drama that run through each story. Pure magic!

    

    They're fun. And they're powerful! The Cartoon Network classic Powerpuff Girls returns to comics in this collection of comic-book adventures. Featuring the ladies' first appearances in Cartoon Network Starring #1 and #5, as well as issues #1-4 of their ongoing series, this first volume includes two stories written and drawn by series creator Craig McCracken!

    Instead of the usual all-at-once approach to global domination (which usually fails, they've noticed) they've decided to start small. They've encircled a small English village with an impenetrable heat wave, preventing anything coming in or out. With Cresdon Green as their base, they will learn about humankind, using their knowledge to effectively and efficiently spread their domination over the rest of the world, bit by bit.Katrina just came back to borrow some money from her parents. And, having been turned down, she's really in no mood to stick around - but the Geonin are not letting anyone in or out, and she has tickets to the theatre in London. So what choice does she have but to start The Resistance?

    This series includes graphic language and violence.*******This book is NOT intended for a young adult audience**** KyleeChemical Warfare has turned most of the world’s population into flesh eating Zombies. These are the accounts of two survivors.Kylee and Jade are on their way from one author convention to another. After saying goodbye to all their friends, they never dreamed the plane would land with them fighting for their lives.Kylee Mahafferty lived a life of luxury, jet setting to big cities around the globe, high dollar shopping sprees, and downing copious amounts of her favorite fu-fu-non-fat lattes'. But, that life's suddenly been replaced by one with a simple objective, survival. Kylee's best friend, Jade is the only thing holding together the slippery tendrils of her unraveling mind.With their first mission being to find their families, will the girls manage to save their families while trying to save each other? ***Once Upon A Zombie Apocalypse or (OUAZA) as the fans call it, is a short story episodic saga written by K.B. Miller and Jennifer Malone Wright. The first episode is from both Jade and Kylee's perspective and is two separate novella's. The same story, but from two different characters. It is done this way with the first episode only, so that you can meet our girls and really get to know and love them like we do.Each following episode is written solely by one of the authors and available through their links.Novella 1. KB. Miller and Jennifer Malone WrightNovella 2. Jennifer Malone WrightNovella 3. K.B. MillerNovella 4. Jennifer Malone WrightNovella 5. K.B Millerand so on...

    Includes the complete script, lryics and stills Interview with executive music producer T. Bone Burnett Introduction by muic historian Elijah Wald Quintessential Coen brothers fare but different. Inside Llewyn Davis has a certain kinship with Les Miserables . In it, almost all the principal actors Oscar Isaac, Carey Mulligan, Justin Timberlake sing. While not quite a musical, Inside Llewyn Davis is built around full-length performances of folk songs that were heard in the grubby cafes of the Village in a year when Bob Dylan, who kind of, sort of shows up in the movie, had just appeared on the scene. Bob Dylan, Paul Clayton, the Rev. Reverend Gary Davis, Joni Mitchell, Tom Paxton and myriad other singers of the era are invoked in the film. Its story bounces through actual places like Gerde's, the Gaslight Cafe and the Gate of Horn in Chicago without explicitly portraying real artists or folk music powers like the impresario Albert Grossman. Working with the producer Scott Rudin, their collaborator on both True Grit and No Country for Old Men, the Coen Brothers shot the film in New York City and elsewhere last year and finished the movie at their own pace. They could have rushed it into the Oscar season but chose to bide their time. T. Bone Burnett, who provided the old time music of O Brother, Where Art Thou?, also produced the music for Inside Llewyn Davis . Mr. Burnett has helped to re-create the brief flowering of a folk scene that in the early '60s made Washington Square and its environs an unlikely crossroads for musical influences from Appalachia, the Deep South, the Far West, New England almost anywhere but New York's neighborhoods, from which some of its heartiest practitioners, and Llewyn Davis, arrived.

    

    What trouble will your favorite Pokémon get into in this volume of four-panel comics?A pocket-sized book brick jam-packed with four-panel comic strips featuring all the new Pokémon Black and White characters, Pokémon vital statistics, Pokémon trivia, Pokémon puzzles, and Pokémon fun quizzes!

    But when both the fracturing worlds and Clint's bride-to-be are thrust into peril by an old foe, the gunslinger must come out of retirement and aim his seven-shooters at the dark magic and those who bring it. An epic quest hurls marshal and unicorn across the endless desert in pursuit of the dark rider Dharma Kold and his unicorn of a different color, where they must battle their way back toward The Realm to uncover the truth...and mayhap save the worlds that hang in the balance.From the creators of Yesterday's Gone (Platt) and Fat Vampire (Truant) comes this reinvention of both the western genre and unicorn lore. Appropriate for adults, teens, and children, Unicorn Western is "Harry Potter without wizards but with gunslingers, talking unicorns, epic fights, and more turkey pie."

    Little does he know his life teeters on the cusp of change. When an unusual assignment sends him overseas, he finds himself stranded in foreign lands. Even that wouldn’t be so bad if he weren’t constantly outrunning pirates, embroiled in international intrigue, and attacked by a hummingbird with an appetite for human brains – that’s just the start of his misadventures.But lurking in the wings is a much greater threat than getting sacked from his job. The fate of an entire civilization may well rest upon his scrawny shoulders. In spite of himself and quite by accident, Marco may yet become the hero he strives not to be.