So when he suits up for any sport, he does it with an unmistakable swagger. From fine-tuning his trash-talking skills on the basketball court to his cocky ’tude in the soccer goal, Nate can be a bigger challenge to his teammates than their opponents. Enjoy Nate and his friends’ mostly hapless sports encounters through not-always-highlight-reel moments in the all-color Big Nate: Game On.  Includes poster.

    He thinks big. He talks big. He acts big. And the Big Nate: I Can't Take It, featuring our mischievous middle-school hero, is big fun.Life can be stressful for Nate Wright. At school, Mrs. Godfrey makes every day a nightmare. At home, he's stuck between Ellen, his incredibly annoying older sister, and Dad, perhaps the most clueless parent of all time. And don't get him started on Gina, the ultimate teacher's pet, or Artur, the unassuming exchange student who bests him at every turn. It's enough to make even a can-do kid like Nate scream: "I CAN'T TAKE IT!"

    When Carter, the one-night-stand from her past that changed her life forever, shows up in her hometown bar without any recollection of her besides her unique chocolate scent, Claire will make it a point that he remembers her this time. With Carter's undisguised shock at suddenly finding out he has a four-year-old son and Claire's panic that her stretch marks and slim to none bedroom experience will send the man of her dreams heading for the hills, the pair will do whatever they can to get their happily ever after.Book 2 - Futures and Frosting:Carter, Claire and Gavin have formed the perfect little family. Their friends are getting married and everyone is growing up, maturing and ready to face the future. Or are they? From bachelorette party hell, porn addictions, dinner roll baseball and botched wedding proposals to finding out everyone's extended family is chock full of crazy, Carter and Claire begin to question the strength of the ties that bind them. Unfortunately, these ties have nothing to do with fuzzy handcuffs and everything to do with the mounting differences between them. Will their friends make a mess of things with their inappropriate comments and need to know everything, or will they convince the couple that happily-ever-after sometimes really can start with beer pong?Book 3 - Troubles and Treats:Drew and Jenny have spent years being the envy of their friends with their out of control sex lives – well, not really. Mostly it makes their friends want to throw up in their mouths a little. With two little kids and two busy lives, for the first time, Drew and Jenny aren’t on the same page in the bedroom. Drew will stop at nothing to get his previously amorous wife back in the sack and Jenny will do anything for a full night of sleep. Carter and Claire, and Jim and Liz are their usual (un)helpful selves and are full of advice for the discontented duo, wanting nothing more than to help restore order to the usually happy couple’s lives. In the third and final installment of the Chocolate Lovers Series, will Drew and Jenny find the spark that’s been missing in their marriage, or will the trouble they’re having cause a stickier situation than the time Jenny poured honey all over Drew and he fused himself to a tree?Short Story - Hearts and LlamasJoin the Chocolate Lovers gang as they celebrate Valentine's Day in their usual fashion - with hair pulling, cage fighting and farm animals!

    The third Big Nate comic compilation in the New York Times bestselling series by Lincoln Peirce!Big Nate is a New York Times bestseller and the star of his own comic strip!Here comes the latest comic compilation from Lincoln Peirce, all about king of detention and cartooning genius Nate Wright!Includes more than 300 black-and-white comic strips, plus bonus Big Nate material in the back!"Big Nate is funny, big time."—Jeff Kinney, author of Diary of a Wimpy KidAlso includes a sneak peek of the next Big Nate novel, Big Nate: In the Zone!

    Through her comics, we make unexpected yet wise discoveries: how armadillos make fast-and-easy Halloween costumes, how dinosaurs deal with their inquisitive children, or the ingenious ways that animal friends can work together to ensure their juice is always freshly squeezed.

    Her biggest challenge is living with her Aunt Jeanie. As much as Bex tries to please her aunt, they always seem to butt heads. Sometimes Bex feels as if Aunt Jeanie goes out of her way to make her life miserable. Aunt Jeanie enrolls Bex in a social group called the Silver Roses, a group that's supposed to teach young girls how to be proper ladies, however it turns out to be nothing more than a club for snobs. Bex wants out, but she's made a deal with Aunt Jeanie. Will Bex take a stand against the Silver Roses or will their snobbery rub off on her? #1: Aunt Jeanie's Revenge #2: All's Fair in Love and Math #3: Winter Blunderland #4: The Great "BOY"cott of Lincoln Middle #5: Love, Politics, and Red Velvet Cupcakes #6: So Scandalous

    A few extra scenes of Drew's and Kate's life together as a couple.Taking place after or during 'Tangled'The Bitch Strikes Back (told from Kate's POV)The Honeymoon's Over (Drew and Kate have their first fight)What A Difference a Year Makes (Drew and Kate celebrate their 'Fuckiversary')An Extra Drew Evans POV sceneValentine's Day

    For current Paperback edition see: Tell Me It's RealDo you believe in love at first sight? Paul Auster doesn't. Paul doesn't believe in much at all. He's thirty, slightly overweight, and his best features are his acerbic wit and the color commentary he provides as life passes him by. His closest friends are a two-legged dog named Wheels and a quasibipolar drag queen named Helena Handbasket. He works a dead-end job in a soul-sucking cubicle, and if his grandmother's homophobic parrot insults him one more time, Paul is going to wring its stupid neck. Enter Vince Taylor. Vince is everything Paul isn't: Sexy, confident, and dumber than the proverbial box of rocks. And for some reason, Vince pursues Paul relentlessly. Vince must be messing with him, because there is no way Vince could want someone like Paul. But when Paul hits Vince with his car - in a completely unintentional if-he-died-it'd-only-be-manslaughter kind of way - he's forced to see Vince in a whole new light. The only thing stopping Paul from believing in Vince is himself - and that is one obstacle Paul can't quite seem to overcome. But when tragedy strikes Vince's family, Paul must put aside any notions he has about himself and stand next to the man who thinks he's perfect the way he is.

    Not an easy task for a She-dragon of royal descent. But the evil plots of her father are turning her quiet, boring life upside down, and she has now become the enemy of the most vicious queen her kind has ever known. But for once, Braith won't have to fight alone. Not when the warrior dragon of her dreams is willing to risk everything to save her neck.Addolgar the Cheerful wishes he could say he’s helping the pretty royal strictly for honorable reasons - but he'd be lying. It’s not his fault, though! He didn't tell Braith of the Darkness to have the most delicious tail he’s ever seen! Yet before Addolgar can get his very strong claws on that tail, heads are going to roll. Just hopefully not theirs...

    When a party of goblin warriors find themselves trapped behind enemy lines, it'll take more than whining (and a bemused Elven veterinarian) to get them home again.Nine Goblins is a novella of low...very low...fantasy.

    Birthday: February 18Sex: Female Where she lives: In the house, on the couch, underfootHer favorite pastime: Blogging, sleepingHer best feature: Her toe beans Her favorite food: All of themPusheen is a pleasantly plump cat who has warmed hearts and tickled funny bones of millions worldwide with her signature GIF animated bops, bounces, and tail wiggles. Now, Pusheen is ready to make the leap from digital to print in her first comic collection! Learn what makes her purr and find out why millions of people have already fallen in love with this naughty, adorable kitty. Featuring some of the most popular stories from Pusheen’s Tumblr and Facebook pages (plus a healthy serving of never-before-seen material), I Am Pusheen the Cat is a treat for cat lovers and comics fans alike.

    A dinner invitation is offered. Will dinner go as planned? Or do the dinner plans involve a secret ingredient...?(Don't forget to listen to the baby geese!)

    A Valentine's Day short story from the Chocolate Lover's gang.

    Who knows what would happen?Okay, quick. No one is looking... push the button.Uh, oh.

    Overwhelmed, overwrought, and overweight, an everyday housewife walks into the Sonoran Desert to die.But there's more to a desert than sand or death. There's thorns, venom, claws, heat, thirst, other people—and unexpected adventure.As she says, "It's because your gums are receding and your hair is thinning and your neckline is sagging. It's because all you ever had was your youth, and you spent that so long ago now it's hard to remember what you bought with it. Mrs. Warner shuddered in her loosening skin, was almost running now. It's because you're scared. Lately you're so scared and so aimless and so useless you sleep half the day and panic half the night. In between, you watch TV to ward off the evil of watching yourself. So—if not death, then what?"When she tripped over a rock—and in tripping, plunged over the edge of a cliff—Mrs. Warner had forgotten the desert, the cacti, the heat, the hunger, the thirst. All that was left was an ever increasing panic and an ever deepening desperation. And then there was the shock of falling and the screaming inside: Here we go, here we go—but don't hurt, don't hurt. Oh god, please! Don't hurt!After that, there was nothing."Until she woke up at the bottom of an arroyo with a lot of surviving to do. And all she had was her purse. It wasn't much to face a desert with, but Mrs. Warner, born Molly Brock, was in a fight for her life, the life she didn't want until she was just about to lose it.What's an everyday housewife to do? In Molly's case, a lot. And every bit of it changing her from ordinary to extraordinary.

    It’s one book… and twice the awesome.Book 1: Meet Skulduggery Pleasant: detective, sorcerer, warrior. Oh yes, and dead.Book 2: Vengeous. Dusk. Sanguine. Three of the deadliest killers alive are in town to resurrect an unstoppable creature of horrifying power… and only Skulduggery and Valkyrie stand in their way.

    A determined groom whose only focus is getting to the wedding night. And—of course—a whole lot of name calling.

    The adorable "perma-kitten” might look a little different than other felines, but her tiny size, toothless mouth, and extra toes have made her the darling of cat lovers around the world. Aided by her human, this celebri-cat is finally satisfying her demanding public with a book. Showcasing 100 captioned full color photos of Lil BUB —traveling through space, exploring the Earth, flying in hot air balloons, napping, and even skateboarding—Lil BUB’s Lil Book is exactly what her millions of fans want. Sure to please fans of LOLcats and Boo: The Life of the World’s Cutest Dog, Lil BUB’s Lil Book is the perfect book for anyone who needs more cute in their lives.

    They are reassured when he nobly saves the day in imaginary-play sessions as a cowboy or cop and his mustache looks good-guy great. But as time passes, their worst fears are confirmed when little Billy’s mustache starts to curl up at the ends in a suspiciously villainous fashion. Sure enough, “Billy’s disreputable mustache led him into a life of dreadful crime.” Plenty of tongue-in-cheek humor and cartoonish illustrations make this the perfect baby-shower gift for a mustachioed father-to-be.

    Strange things were happening in the dead of night. Children would put a tooth under their pillow for the tooth fairy, but in the morning they would wake up to find… a dead slug; a live spider; hundreds of earwigs creeping and crawling beneath their pillow.Evil was at work. But who or what was behind it…?

    A few doors down, Rachel Chauvin is looking for the same, but her conservative style hasn’t yielded any keepers, either. Neither woman is willing to consider the other as a prospective partner, mostly because they’ve hated each other for nearly four decades.Change is in the air, and spring is giving way to The Summer of Our Discontent.

    He manipulates the minds of immortals for fun and bullies around the Gods, while guarding the secret source of his power, a crystal that can wipe out the planet. But beneath the surface, he’s a shrewd creature who learned the brutal lesson of why there must be a balance between good and evil. An unwilling protector of the playthings known as humans, he knows when and where to use his power – and never to let anyone close enough to betray him. It’s easy to do, since he has the power to read the minds of everyone around him.Except for one: Jessi, an innocent looking woman with an unusual talent who shows up unexpectedly in his life. Her sudden appearance is too convenient to be coincidence or chance. Xander determines quickly that she was sent by someone, but he can’t read her mind to discover why. Jessi’s secret – and Xander’s – have the power to forever change the human world. Intrigued by a new sort of challenge, Xander won’t know how much danger he’s in, until he’s placed his fate in the hands of a woman whose betrayal will cost either his heart or his life.

    Whether you're a fussbudget like Lucy, philosopher like Linus, Flying Ace like Snoopy, or a lovable loser like Charlie Brown, there is something to touch your heart or make you laugh in Peanuts.Charles Schulz’s Peanuts is one of the most timeless and beloved comic strips ever. Now AMP! helps carry on that legacy with new collections of Peanuts classics focused around topics sure to resonate with middle-grade readers. Kicking off the series is Snoopy: Cowabunga! First published in 1950, the classic Peanuts strip now appears in more than 2,200 newspapers in 75 countries in 25 languages. Phrases such as “security blanket” and “good grief,” which originated in the Peanuts world, are now part of the global vernacular, and images of Charles Schulz’s classic characters— Charlie Brown kicking the football, Lucy leaning over Schroeder’s piano—are now universally recognized.Together these books will introduce a new generation of kids to the lovable cast in time for the new animated Peanuts movie, which hits theaters in 2015!

    The only problem is – she hasn’t told her husband. So at weekends she’s a dutiful wife in Darlington, working at the local deli and making shepherd’s pie for dinner, but during the week she’s living in her new mansion in Leeds spending her days shopping whilst her husband thinks she’s looking after her sick mother. Will she get the courage to tell him before he finds out for himself? And can several million pounds in your bank account save a failing marriage?

    Because I wrote it, I had to figure out what to put on the back cover to explain what it is. I tried to write a long, third-person summary that would imply how great the book is and also sound vaguely authoritative--like maybe someone who isn’t me wrote it--but I soon discovered that I’m not sneaky enough to pull it off convincingly. So I decided to just make a list of things that are in the book:PicturesWordsStories about things that happened to meStories about things that happened to other people because of meEight billion dollars*Stories about dogsThe secret to eternal happiness**These are lies. Perhaps I have underestimated my sneakiness!

    For more, the author released Glow, which is the same story but through the eyes of Reyes Farrow.

    He's also always had their unsolicited advice and uncanny knack of embarrassing him at all costs. Now that he's an adult and trying to convince the love of his life to love him back, things haven't changed very much from when he was younger. When Gavin's best friend Tyler suggests he make a to-do list of items that will ensure he wins the girl, Gavin is one-hundred-percent on board: after a few six packs.After puking in the shrubs, a bad experience with Viagra, a Sex-Ed course gone wrong, and a slew of other mishaps courtesy of his family and friends, Gavin is pretty sure this list will be the death of him.Sometimes, trying to make someone love you with a list isn't always the best idea. Especially when "Show her your penis" is the first "to-do" item...

    Their pet project is Jaclyn Wyatt, a single mother who, in their opinion, needs a little help in the romance department. Jaclyn doesn’t agree, but the trio secretly springs into action when a newcomer arrives. Morgan Chassion retreated to White Oak Lake to mentally and emotionally recover from losing her father, being dumped by her girlfriend and the final insult, losing her job. The past few months have not been kind and solace is what she needs, but complication is what she gets. Love’s potion is being brewed in White Oak Lake. The recipe is simple, two lonely hearts, a little time, and a dash of vulnerability. Add a little heat and the potion is complete.

    Full of fun reader interactions and keeps readers guessing until the very last page! Matching Mac Barnett's brilliant wit are Kevin Cornell's luminous illustrations, which will have young readers begging to count the monkeys all over again.

    This eponymous comic became an instant hit when it went live on The Oatmeal.com and was liked on Facebook by 700,000 fans. Now fans will have a keepsake book of this comic to give and to keep.In My Dog: The Paradox, Inman discusses the canine penchant for rolling in horse droppings, chasing large animals four times their size, and acting recklessly enthusiastic through the entirety of their impulsive, lovable lives. Hilarious and heartfelt, My Dog: The Paradox eloquently illustrates the complicated relationship between man and dog.We will never know why dogs fear hair dryers, or being baited into staring contests with cats, but as Inman explains, perhaps we love dogs so much “because their lives aren’t lengthy, logical, or deliberate, but an explosive paradox composed of fur, teeth, and enthusiasm.”

    But, she isn't an ordinary pug content to eat and sleep her days away. Zelda is always searching for a new adventure, mystery to solve, or squirrel to catch, and her unexpected reactions cause readers to smile and laugh. The thirteen short stories in this book connect and build into a story arc creating an exciting chapter book for young readers, providing a glimpse into the mind of a curious canine. But no matter your age, pug fanatics and dog lovers will enjoy the adventures of this enchanting pug who grabs life like a bone and won't let go. Books in the Zelda Series: The Adventures of Zelda: A Pug Tale The Adventures of Zelda: The Second Saga The Adventures of Zelda: Pug and Peach

    Within hours, the book became the #1 Bestseller in Amazon.com's Humor & Religion category! Combining actual Bible verses with more than 30 whimsical original illustrations, "Awkward Moments" uses humor to encourage people from all walks of life to think, perhaps for the first time, about how the Bible continues to shape our culture.BEWARE - NOT FOR KIDS! This is definitely "not" your average children's Bible! If you thought the bestseller ""Go The F**k To Sleep"" was inappropriate for story-time with kids, you haven't seen anything yet! Leave it to the Bible! "Foreskins Fetishes? Unicorn Murders? Boiled Babies? Messiah, MIA? Selling Daughters? Cannibalism Club? Genetic Breakthroughs? Demonic Bacon? Gagged Women? Jihad Jesus? You bet! And much more!"From the opening forewords by Facebook's own God and acclaimed author David G. McAfee, to the challenging commentaries and interactive games at the end, "Awkward Moments Children's Bible" is much more than an irreverent book for your coffee table! Readers of all faiths will find themselves laughing out loud while being encouraged to think about the Bible in a new way.Let's be honest - there are some things in the Good Book that are just... awkward! There are verses we'd like to forget or that have been changed throughout the centuries. There are many verses you've never heard before in church, let alone seen in your average children's Bible! Not to mention the verses that have been added over the centuries!Most people were raised in the faith chosen by their family. Young children learn a few Bible stories taken out of context and accept them without question. "(On what basis could they possibly question their parents or church leaders?)" After decades of repetition and tradition, it's understandable that we might put our beliefs on auto-pilot and just nod as a pastor repeats the verses and ideas that are already familiar and comfortable to us. It's no wonder that recent studies show an incredible lack of Biblical knowledge among Christians - 55% unable to even name the four Gospels of the New Testament - "the very foundation of Christianity!"The Goal? "Awkward Moments" encourages readers to really understand what is in their Bibles and think for themselves about the context of Biblical teaching. The 32 color illustrations and included commentaries will likely challenge some readers to reflect on how religion continues to shape the lives and culture of future generations. If readers happen to laugh out loud and enjoy the interactive puzzles and games in the mean time - "it's just an added bonus!"

    Jorie Andolini is one of those people and has spent a lot of time envisioning that moment. She bumps into a woman at a grocery store, the woman drops a can of peas, Jorie picks it up, their eyes meet, and two souls connect. But it’s actually a wasted trip to New York, a snowstorm, and a canceled flight home that puts her in the path of Lena Vaughn.Lena has found fault in every man she’s ever dated. Her dream of finding a husband is dwindling with every year that passes. Despite what her friends say, Lena doesn’t believe she has a fear of commitment, she simply hasn’t found a man she wanted to commit to. It comes as a surprise that in fact it is a woman who stirs those desires. For Lena, it’s not really a matter of sexuality, it’s just Jorie.Travel the road to happiness with Jorie and Lena. Two crazy old women, meddling friends, and cattitude are just some sights you’ll see along the way.

     THE LAST OF THE DEMON SLAYERS - novel #4 Lizzie Brown would just like to have one normal date. Instead, she gets a towering inferno with a message: her long-lost dad is a fallen angel in danger of becoming a demon. Not good. Especially since she's a demon slayer. I BRAKE FOR BIKER WITCHES - short story #4.5 Accidental demon slayer Lizzie Brown discovers a haunted biker bar and comes face-to-face with the ghosts of her past, who warn her about a startling new future. MY BIG FAT DEMON SLAYER WEDDING - novel #5 Lizzie's dream wedding is complicated when one of the guests at the eccentric seaside mansion is possessed and trying to kill her. REVIEWS “Fabulously fun” -The Chicago Tribune "Fun, humorous, and reminiscent of Charlaine Harris or Kim Harrison's books." -Sacramento Book Review “Fox has a genuine gift for creating dangerously hilarious drama.” -RT Book Reviews “A fast, savvy, hilarious romp through a real world populated by paranormal mischief...Fox is one of my new favorite paranormal authors." -Pop Syndicate Want a sneak peek? Be sure to check out the “Look Inside This Book” feature at the top left of the page where you can preview the first three chapters! Urban Fantasy Romance Available by Angie Fox: BIKER WITCHES SERIES (Urban Fantasy Paranormal Romance): Book 1: The Accidental Demon Slayer Book 2: The Dangerous Book for Demon Slayers Book 3: A Tale of Two Demon Slayers Book 4: The Last of the Demon Slayers Novella: I Brake for Biker Witches Book 5: My Big Fat Demon Slayer Wedding Novella: The Tenth Dark Lord 'A Leaping: Lizzie and Dimitri's first Christmas (Coming December 4, 2013!) Book 6: Beverly Hills Demon Slayer - (Coming soon!) The MONSTER MASH SERIES (Urban Fantasy Paranormal Romance): Book 1: Immortally Yours Book 2: Immortally Embraced Book 3: Immortally Ever After Find Urban Fantasy Romance Author Angie Fox Online: Visit Angie's website at www.angiefox.com Follow Angie on Twitter at www.twitter.com/AngieFoxauthor Join Angie on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/pages/Angie-Fox If you enjoy reading Angie Fox's Urban Fantasy Series, consider adding yourself to her email list to keep on top of new releases, contests and other fun things. Signing up is easy. Just visit www.angiefox.com/contact

    Claire has always followed her own rules. When she discovers her current employer is not as law abiding as she thought, she has to leave town in a hurry or end up buried with the dead guy she discovered. What she doesn't expect is to find herself being picked up by a passing trader from another world.As the ruling King of Sarafin, Vox d’Rojah, was expected to produce a son who would be joined in marriage with the first born daughter of the King of Valdier. The problem was Vox had no intentions of having any sons, at least not in the near future. He was quite happy with the wide selection of females he had at his disposal. When he is captured by a ruthless Valdier royal and sold to a mining operation the last thing he expected to find with his bride mate.Vox isn't sure which would be easier: fighting another war with the Valdier or capturing and holding onto the human female who is unlike anything he has ever encountered before.Now, Vox has to escape back to his world while fighting pirates, traders, and Riley!The King of Sarafin has met his match with Ms. Riley St. Claire from Earth. Now, he just needs to figure out a way to let her know he has chosen her as his Queen and he has every intention of keeping her by his side forever.Author's Note: This series will follow along with the Dragon Lord series as it is based on the species they had fought during the Great War and later became friends with. Several of my readers asked me about these characters. Both characters have very vivid personalities.

    Moooo! But a bump in the road brings this joy ride to a troublesome end. Moo-moo. . . Has Cow learned her lesson about living life in the fast lane? Moo?Pairing two talented creators who managed to tell a complete story with just one word—MOO—this imaginative picture book will have readers laughing one moment and on the edge of their seats the next, as it captures the highs and lows of a mischievous cow's very exciting day.

    Free online fiction from author website

    I’ve finally found my happy ending. I fought through the loss of one husband, lucky enough to be given a second chance at a lifetime of happiness. Settling into our new lives, however, may not be as easy as it seems. What really happens after the fairytale ending? What happens after the prince rescues the princess? After he sweeps her off her feet and carries her off into the sunset? Do they truly live happily ever after?Well…This is our story.

    From sailing frozen waters to facing fiery dragons, every day is an adventure for the micekings! Attack of the Dragons The micekings are in a panic. The village's best cook is ill, and until she recovers, there's no delicious stew to eat! Geronimo Stiltonord departs immediately in search of a cure for her. But on the way, he ends up snout-to-snout with terrifying dragons! Can he make it back with his fur intact?

    

    But Amelia Bedelia's mom says that a bike like Suzanne's is so expensive it will cost an arm and a leg! What? Amelia Bedelia doesn't want to give away one of her arms and one of her legs. She'll need both arms to steer her new bike, and both legs to pedal it. Amelia Bedelia decides to get a job, so that she can earn the bike money instead. She tries:1. Helping out at Pete's Diner2. Opening a lemonade stand3. Entering a contest to win a prize4. Baking treats and selling themWill Amelia Bedelia ever get the bike of her dreams?

    Can Marnie Baranuik — professional psychic and amateur dunce — muster her resources to confront the face of Rachel’s terror and find her before it’s too late? Joined by her newly undead brother Wes and her revenant partner Lord Guy Harrick Dreppenstedt, Marnie dives into a new case that serves as a grim reminder that DaySitters aren’t the only ones living shoulder-to-shoulder with Cold Company."

    Beverly Cryer (Vurl) has to choose a dystopian faction to live with for the rest of her life. If she doesn't make it through initiation, she'll be factionless and declared a Detergent. But, Vurl is determined not to spend the rest of her life doing everyone else's laundry. She is an independent young woman with skills she doesn't even know about and with the help of handsome number Two she'll not only make it through initiation, she'll save the city from disaster. Okay, that's the serious book pitch. This is a book that makes fun of Divergent. It's a parody, so it follows the same basic story but is more outrageous, silly, stupid and all the other things that make a great parody great. Mockery has a proven track record delivering laughs and this one doesn't disappoint. If you loved Divergent, try Detergent!

    Before his heart turned black and his biggest goal in life became destroying mankind, he was just like any god. Compassionate, loyal, and dedicated. So where did it all go wrong? Sometimes broken hearts don't heal...Word count: 35,000.

    GET PSYCHED!You've seen him solve unsolvable crimes, stop unstoppable killers, and consume unconsumable breakfast cereals. Now Shawn Spencer (James Roday), the mastermind from TV's hit show Psych, shows you how to become a fake psychic-and a real detective-using his patented methods of crime-fighting awesomeness. Along the way, he'll help you deal with whiny sidekicks (that means you, Gus), interfering police officers (including but not limited to Chief Vick, Lassiter, Henry, Buzz MacNab, and, ah, Juliet), and flashes of genius (like Evel Knievel's white leather jumpsuit). You'll discover:How to set up a totally bitchin' office, where Wednesday = Ladies NightHow to convince your sidekick that he's really your partnerHow to pick up women at a crime sceneShawn's Stakeout Survival Guide, including sensible snacksGus's Scream-and-Run Method for confronting criminalsUnsolved mysteries like who stole Shawn's Sno-Caps in third gradeThe ideal sleuth car: Magnum, P.I.'s Ferrari or Knight Rider's K.I.T.T.?Who should play Shawn in the movie of his life: Christian Bale or Don Cheadle?New names for detectives, such as Rico Solvé and Sherlock Homeboy. . . and way more cool stuff.Packed with insane pop quizzes, unbelievable case studies, unflattering photos, and off-the-chart charts, this all-in-one guide will have you solving crimes and catching crooks like a pro-even if you don't have a clue.

     THE ACCIDENTAL DEMON SLAYER - book #1 Newly anointed with demon-fighting powers and suddenly able to hear the thoughts of her hilarious Jack Russell terrier, a preschool teacher finds a whole new world of dark and dangerous, including a sexy shape-shifting griffin she's not entirely sure she can trust. THE DANGEROUS BOOK FOR DEMON SLAYERS - book #2 Accidental demon slayer Lizzie Brown and her grandma's coven of biker witches have rolled into Sin City to take out a super-sexy succubus who has her eye on world domination - and worse, Lizzie's man. A TALE OF TWO DEMON SLAYERS - book #3 Lizzie and the gang travel to Dimitri's home in Greece where they are confronted with his past...and an unwelcome family secret that could destroy them all.

    Steven went first. He was kind of our test subject. Like those monkeys that NASA sent off into space in the fifties, all the while knowing they’d never make it back.And now another poor rocket is ready to launch.But this isn’t just any posh New York wedding. You’ve seen my friends, you’ve met our families, you know you're in for a treat. Everyone wants their wedding to be memorable. This one’s going to be un-frigging-forgettable.Holy Frigging Matrimony takes place about a year after Tangled’s end and is from Drew’s POV.

    Things were just fine around here until UNICORN showed up.So what if he can fly?Or make it rain cupcakes?And turn stuff into gold?Big deal. I can do some cool stuff too, like...Hey! What are you doing? Why are you opening the book?He's just going to tell you how great he is. Blah, blah, blah.Go ahead. Just don't say I didn't warn you.Dopey Unicorn.

    But sometimes, it just sucks. I know. I'm Amber Dusick and I started my blog Parenting: Illustrated with Crappy Pictures because I needed a place to vent about the funny (and frustrating) day-to-day things that happened to me as a parent. Turns out, poop is hilarious! At least when you're not the one wiping it up.This book won't make your frustrating moments any less crappy. But these stories about my Crappy Baby, Crappy Boy and my husband, Crappy Papa, will hopefully make you laugh. Because you're not alone. And sometimes the crappiest moments make the best memories. Parenting is wonderful! And also, well, you know.

    He is forced to go on a journey to prove himself, and soon discovers that his beliefs don't fit into the wider world.This is a light fantasy that is heavy on the humor with some romance and action as well. It has mature themes and language and is aimed at an adult audience.It is filled with everything a fantasy reader would want; dark magic, betrayal, zombies, vampires, a journey of discovery, secret plots, beautiful big breasted women, and murderous flesh eating rabbits.Just kidding about the rabbits.I'm saving them for the sequel.

    Blake has made a career out of writing novels that make her readers want to leave the lights on at night. What Blake’s fans and very few people realize is that Blake Taylor is scared of her own shadow and just about everything else. After a family intervention, a case of writer’s block, and the desire to be free of the confines of fear, she leaves New York and rents a house in Cypress Glade, Louisiana. Quinn Scott, a local, is hired by Blake’s agent to be a tour guide of sorts for her most famous and troublesome client. The job seems simple for a thousand bucks a month, but as she gets to know Blake, it’s anything but easy. Birds, squirrels, broccoli, and dogs are fearsome creatures. Find a comfortable spot, visit Cypress Glade, and watch as these two women learn to conquer fears that don’t always go bump in the night. Be warned, a few feathers may fly…

    It feels good in your hands: a true work of art, a collector’s dream.But then you notice something wrong. There’s a stain on the cover. And it is there on purpose. It’s a coffee ring printed onto the cover with gloss laminate.This book, the debut effort by cult cartoonist Dave Strider, was realized with the help of a dedicated team of experienced artists. KC Green (gunshowcomic.com), John Keogh (lucid-tv.com), and David Malki ! (wondermark.com) served as designers. Homestuck creator Andrew Hussie (mspaintadventures.com) served as consultant.Since the days of Gutenberg, publishers have tried to marry form with content in pleasing and impressive ways. And while there have been fancy books, and there have been bad books, never before in the history of the codex have the two been mismatched in so dramatic and pointless a fashion. Like a wrench torquing a bolt too hard and shearing off its head, so too does Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff completely and irrevocably break the notion of the printed book.The online comic strip “Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff” follows a handful of friends who get up to nonsensical hijinks. This is in the rare cases when it makes any sense at all. It is universally acknowledged as the worst comic strip ever created.The book Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff lavishly presents the comic’s entire run in a treatment worthy of the highest masters of the form. It contains a completely gratuitous 4-page centerfold reading simply “centaurfold” in bright pink type.Scattered throughout the book are perforated business-reply cards taking the form of irredeemable Subway coupons (a first for comic strip collections). Each copy of the book also comes with a “travel version” (a removable poster of all the book’s pages in grid format); a custom commemorative coin (randomly chosen from 4 designs struck); an oversized plastic paperclip imprinted with the word “paperclop”; and an animated lenticular bookmark. Bound into the spine is a red ribbon approximately three feet long, and if you scratch the nacho chip sticker on the back cover, it smells faintly of pizza. (The hologram sticker of Tony Hawk smells only of chemicals.)

    With easy-to-read text, high-interest content, fast-paced plots, and illustrations on every page, these books will boost reading confidence and stamina. Branches books help readers grow!Alexander has just moved to a new town where he is about to uncover all sorts of monsters! He finds an old notebook with the word "DOOM" inscribed on the front cover. The Notebook of Doom, which Alexander now holds, contains top secret information about monsters! In this first book, Alexander goes up against spooky balloon goons--unique and twisted arm-waving balloon guys! This book is full of humor, engaging black-and-white illlustrations, and of course . . . monsters!

    Through his series of short films and interactions with an enthusiastic online community, Henri's contemplation and disillusion with the world has struck a chord with millions of fans. Now, finally, we have a collection of Henri's musings in his own words featuring never-before-seen photos and quotes. This book is a window into the tortured soul of the world's first feline philosopher.

    to Japan to enroll in the all-male high school he goes to! Pretending to be a boy, Mizuki becomes Sano’s roommate…but how can she keep such a big secret when she’s so close to the guy she wants?Mizuki has started modeling for the famous photographer Akiha Hara, but is he on to the fact that she’s a girl? Later, Mizuki travels home to America only to find Sano and Nakatsu are there too! Sano seems to be getting along with her dad, but can Mizuki get through this visit without her family revealing her secret?! Reads R to L (Japanese Style) for teen plus audiences.

    This books brings together the very best of those cartoons, featuring the secret thoughts and conversations of dogs of every size, shape and breed. The cartoons appeal to all sorts of people, from passionate dog lovers who have eight sleeping on their bed at night, to people who don't have any pets at all, but can still identify with the characteristics. Let's face it, who doesn't like to be fed, have their tummy stroked and snooze on the sofa in the afternoon? A celebration of our favorite belly-scratching, tail-chasing, bed-stealing canine friends.

    Cul de Sacis noted not only for its humour and intelligence, but also for creator Richard Thompson's fun, imaginative watercolour artwork. Cul de Sacis brought to life through manhole-dancing Alice Otterloop, a curious four-year-old who discovers life's ups and downs in suburbia. Along with her Blisshaven Preschool classmates, Alice charms fans of all ages with her escapades. From crafting projects in a cloud of glitter and glue or just trying to comprehend a completely incomprehensible world, Alice is a creature of pure and indomitable will, an irresistible force. Alice describes her father's car as a "Honda-Tonka Cuisinart" and talks to the class guinea pig, Mr. Danders. Alice is joined by her family: her older brother Petey who is intent on being the King of the Picky Eaters; her dad, who's the Assistant Director of Pamphlets at the U.S. Department of Consumption, Office of Consumer Complaints; and her mom, who is capable of doing a million things simultaneously, about five of them well. This library of cartoons and art will both delight long-time fans and provide a fantastic introduction to new readers.

    It includes the following titles: Cave of the KoboldsZOMBIE ATTACK!!!Orcs, Bears, and AssholesShipfacedDungeon CrawlThe Creep on the BorderlandsIf you've already purchased all of these books, there is nothing new for you here. If you haven't yet purchased any, you can save a few bucks by buying this collection. If you've only purchased some of these already, you'll have to do some math.

    Alex isn't interested - until he decides to make the book something he'd actually like to read. So he takes out his pencil, sharpens his creativity, and totally transforms the story!Birthday Bunny becomes Battle Bunny, and the rabbit's innocent journey through the forest morphs into a supersecret mission to unleash an evil plan - a plan that only Alex can stop.Featuring layered, original artwork that emphasizes Alex's additions, this dynamic exploration of creative storytelling is sure to engage and inspire.

     Second Sight: The Complete Collection includes the four books in the Amazon bestselling series: First Visions New Revelations Dark Premonitions The Final Omen Praise for the Second Sight series: "The pacing of this book was phenomenal. This is just a fantastic read. I can't wait for more. I honestly can't praise this enough." -Read Between the Lines "I really loved this story! I've been waiting for a book like this to read, and this was just wonderful." -For the Love of Film and Novels "A total must read for all suspense and supernatural romance fans." -My Cozie Corner "This is a great choice if you are looking for a quick fun read that can and will also get your heart pounding with suspense. Wood did another amazing job at writing a novel with the perfect amount of a little bit of everything, including romance, suspense, psychic powers, and great characters." -It's a Book's Life First Visions: Two years ago, 21-year-old Kate Edwards became deathly ill and slipped into a coma. While unconscious, she crept into the mind of a missing boy and awoke with the knowledge of his location. Now another child has been abducted. Police detective Jared Corbett seeks out Kate for her help in solving the case. With visions she can't control and an uncontrollable attraction to the detective, she wonders if she can leave the past behind and finally stop hiding from the world. New Revelations: Life should’ve been perfect. Kate Edwards had won the heart of police detective Jared Corbett and was coming to terms with her psychic ability. Things were blissful—until the day she met bad boy psychic extraordinaire Declan Brayden. Dark Premonitions: Psychic Kate Edwards had her first premonition—a vision of her own murder by a faceless attacker. With very few clues to go on, she has to use her psychic gifts to uncover who wants her dead. Paranoia sets in and Kate wonders if there’s anybody she can trust. The Final Omen: Kate Edwards had seen her death in a premonition. She was given the opportunity to stop her murder from happening and finally reconnect with her love Detective Jared Corbett. However, fate had different ideas…

    In these four stand-alone novels, Kinsella’s charming heroines juggle work life, love life—and sometimes, even the afterlife—to heartwarming and hilarious effect. This must-have eBook bundle includes:CAN YOU KEEP A SECRET?“Move over, Bridget [Jones]! . . . Kinsella’s witty take on mundane office and family life will really make you laugh out loud.”—Evening Chronicle (UK)Emma Corrigan has a huge heart, an irrepressible spirit, and a few little secrets. Secrets from her boyfriend, secrets from her mother . . . secrets she wouldn’t share with anyone in the world. Until she spills them all to a handsome stranger on a plane, who, she later discovers, just so happens to be Jack Harper, her company’s elusive CEO—a man who now knows every humiliating detail about her.THE UNDOMESTIC GODDESS“Another charming winner from the delightful Kinsella.”—BooklistSamantha Sweeting, a workaholic attorney at a London law firm, has just made a huge, unthinkable mistake, wrecking her chance of becoming partner. Going into utter meltdown, she walks out of her office, boards a train, and ends up in the middle of nowhere. Asking for directions at a big, beautiful house, she’s mistaken for an interviewee and is offered a job as their housekeeper. And as she figures out how to turn on the oven and how to open the #@%# ironing board, she finds that this new life may be exactly what she is looking for.REMEMBER ME?“A delicious page-turner.”—USA TodayWhen twenty-eight-year-old Lexi Smart wakes up in a London hospital, she’s in for a big surprise. Having survived a car accident, Lexi has lost a big chunk of her memory—three years to be exact—and somehow she’s gone from being a twenty-five-year-old working girl to being a corporate big shot with a sleek loft, a personal assistant, and a gorgeous husband. Will she ever remember how this all came to be? And what will happen when she does?TWENTIES GIRL“Kinsella [is] a master of comic pacing and feminine wit.”—Publishers WeeklyLara Lington’s imagination seems to be in overdrive. Normal twenty-something young women don’t get visited by ghosts. Or do they? When the spirit of Lara’s great-aunt Sadie mysteriously appears, she has one request: Lara must find a missing necklace that was in Sadie’s possession for more than seventy-five years. And in their mission, these very different “twenties” girls learn some surprising truths from and about each other.BONUS: This eBook bundle also includes an excerpt from Sophie Kinsella's Wedding Night.

     Bellomi Dragonmanovich, Prince of Windamere, is a twenty-one year old cursed into the body of a perpetual eight year old. In order to regain his lost throne, prince and Artifactor know that breaking the curse won't be enough. It will take a coup and more than just a little magic.

    If you already own these books, please do not purchase this title. The first three books in the Ridgeville series are now bundled together for one great price! (64,000 words).***"He Ain't Lion" - Life sucks... And then you get turned into a werelion... Curvy Maya Josephs is looking for a little fun after a bad break up. When she meets the hotter than hot, super-sexy owner Alex O'Connell, the alpha lion shifter is just the man to fit the bill for a one-night stand.***"You're Lion" - With new pregnancy hormones making her inner kitty extra bitchy, Maya's not sure who she's going to murder first: her gyno for discovering the pregnancy, her guards for following her every move (and annoying the living shit out of her), or the striped beyotch cooing over Alex. Screw it. She'll start with the tigress and work her way back to the other two. Lucky for everyone involved, it's a good thing Alex knows how to tame her inner she-cat...and make her purr.***"Ball of Furry" - Perfectly plump Carly has no need for a gorgeous hunk of werelion. But the hunky man pounces and claims her before she has the chance to say "no." Furry bastard. As if her life isn't crazy enough...it just happens to get that much crazier when someone decides they want her dead. Lovely.

    Join the crazy antics and spicy romance of the sexiest gang of attorneys in the Philadelphia Criminal Court System. For the first time ever, get the full, unforgettable, story of feisty Public Defender, Gabrielle Ginsberg, and formidable Assistant District Attorney, Braden Pierce. Follow their amorous adventures as they tangle in the courtroom and the bedroom, facing crazy criminals and an anonymous letter-writer who seems intent at ending their budding romance. If justice weren't blind she would be laughing and blushing!"The Law of Attraction is THE Stand-out Romantic Comedy of 2013." Cindy Meyer, The Book Enthusiast."The perfect mix of intensity and hilarity." Lori Lockie, 50 Shades of Gabriel's Crossfire Unscripted Destiny Book Club, on The Home Court Advantage.

    Brooke doesn’t know it yet, but her life is about to change. Everyone has those rare, defining moments when a simple reaction, good or bad, can alter everything thereafter. And tonight, where masks hide more than faces, will be no different.Brooke & Ben: Before Fate Interrupted may not be suitable for younger readers due to its adult situations and explicit content.

    With an unforgettable name, a crazy family, and some seriously weird habits, fitting in won't be easy . . . but it will be funny!

    She is an energetic and impulsive soul whose passions sometimes control her life. Through a twist of fate she is chosen to represent a famous client, catapulting her into a new life in New York – fulfilling her in a way that she had never imagined.When Lexi meets Alex, sparks fly. Their chemistry is explosive and they can’t get enough of each other. Her role as the PR manager for his band, Power Station, means that they have to keep their arrangement secret and this proves to be a complication for both of them.The story follows the twists and turns of six months in Lexi’s life, exploring the complicated rules she creates to govern her relationships and the friends that help her realize that life is more fun when you throw out the rulebook and that love is a major part of being happy.

     Following a frightening premonition from a mysterious neighbor, Brian, believing he has inadvertently contributed to the death of his grandmother's housekeeper, runs away from home with his best friend, Charlie. Aided by their friend Stephanie, the two friends find refuge with an old man living a hermit's life on a nearby knob. The old man teaches the boys the virtues of living a simple life and teaches them even more about letting go of the past and never taking things for granted. It all comes to a terrifying climax one day when Charlie climbs inside an abandoned, rusty truck, a truck that still has a few chips of red paint, and closes the door. Here begins a struggle between life and death. Chips of Red Paint is a modern Southern Gothic novel that weaves the past with the present into a colorful quilt that touches every emotion.

    But when the Plan goes belly up, she’s forced to reconsider.After accidently answering her flatmate Vanessa’s phone, she decides that since being Tess isn’t going so well, she might try being Vanessa. With nothing left to lose, she accepts Vanessa’s photography assignment to Hawaii – she used to be an amateur snapper, how hard can it be? Right?But Tess is soon in big trouble. And the gorgeous journalist on the shoot with her, who is making it very clear he’d like to get into her pants, is an egotistical monster. Far from home and in someone else’s shoes, Tess must decide whether to fight on through, or ‘fess up and run…

    I mean, just because my last boyfriend tried to kill me and left a bit of a scar on my neck, then forced me to move across the country and legally change my name to Reese Randall to escape him, does not mean— Oh, who am I kidding? For a freshman in college, I have to have the worst dating track record ever. It’s no wonder love is the last thing on my mind when Mason Lowe enters my life. But the chemistry between us is like bam! Our connection defies logic. And he’s just so freaking hot. Being around him makes me feel more alive than I’ve ever felt before. I even like bickering with him. He could be my soul mate...except for one teeny tiny glitch.He's a gigolo.Boy, do I know how to pick them.

    She can list the Bible canon backward, forward, and alphabetized. And the only time she ever missed church was at seventeen because she had pneumonia and her mom made her stay home. But when her life shatters around her and her reputation is left in ruins, Tara decides escape is the only option. She flees halfway across the country to dog-sit, but the quiet anonymity she needs isn t waiting in her sister s house. Instead she finds a knife with a threatening message, a fame-hungry friend, a too-hunky neighbor, and evidence of...a ghost? Following all the rules has gotten her nowhere. And nothing she learned in Sunday School can tell her where to go from there.

    Lily’s been living it for twenty two years. Her boring life is suddenly turned on its head when she’s rudely kidnapped from her bedroom.Or so she thinks.Nox Taylor is far too high up in his field to be assigned a babysitting job. There’s nothing more he wants than to complete his mission so he can be rid of the smartass tomboy, Lily.Day after day, Nox watches Lily and her strange ways. She’s unlike any woman he’s ever met. Getting close to the girl is purely for her own protection…right?Lily never imagined she’d make her first real friends in captivity. What lengths would she go through to keep them?**This is a stand alone novel and is unrelated to Friend-Zoned**

    Open up to any page and you may find an interesting origin (like the origin of the snowglobe) or a piece of obscure history (like the true story of the man who tried to repeal the law of gravity). You’ll also find weird news, urban legends, brain teasers, classic riddles, bizarre headlines, and of course, the incredible factoids at the bottom of each page. Here are a few of the perpetually pleasing articles awaiting you:   * The Lamest Excuses of All Time* How to Survive on…Roadkill* Astronauts Who Got Kicked Out of Space* The Woman Who Was Her Own Twin* Foiled by Technology: Dumb Crooks Edition* The History of the Teleprompter, the Police Car, and the Fly Swatter* “Jogging Makes You Dumber,” and Other Real Study Results* The Lost Fortune of Abraham Lincoln* Boxing LingoAnd much, much more!!

    And I’m still snatching wigs on these hoes left and right. Me and my boo Adrian are finally building our life together. And guess what? We bout to have us a lil crumb snatcher!The only problem is these birds out here can’t stand to see another sister on the come up. Well they asses can fall back and have a stadium full of seats if they think a bitch like me will back down.I got my man, my new home, and bout to have a new baby. That should let you know I won’t let nothing stand in the way of our happiness. Yeah… I got a few issues I need to deal with but in the words of Kevin Hart “They gon learn today!” Pebbles is NOT to be fucked with!ATTENTION: This is a short story 19,860 words

    100 million people viewed those videos, turning Bo into an online sensation with a huge and dedicated following. Bo taped his first of two Comedy Central specials four days after his 18th birthday, making him the youngest to do so in the channel's history. Now Bo is a rising star in the comedy world, revered for his utterly original and intelligent voice. And, he can SIIIIIIIIING!In EGGHEAD, Bo brings his brand of brainy, emotional comedy to the page in the form of off-kilter poems, thoughts, and more. Teaming up with his longtime friend, artist, and illustrator Chance Bone, Bo takes on everything from death to farts in this weird book that will make you think, laugh and think, "why did I just laugh?"

    Stiles leaves leaves a notebook of his at Derek's or in his car or whatevs, and Derek goes to take it to him and notices that it's filled with little hearts with Stiles+Derek, and Stiles Hale, and Derek Stilinski, and tons of doodles of little wolves.

    Overnight, her life of privilege becomes one of survival, and no matter where she turns, it seems like the world is out to get her. She's not going to fall apart, though. She's a rebel and she's strong … determined to live life on her own terms … and nothing's going to stop her from getting things done and making things right. But when a twist of fate brings her to the doorstep of a different kind of Rebel, she's forced to figure out when something's worth fighting for and when something's worth letting go.Content Warning: Contains sexy adult situations, creative foul language, and some mild violence. May not be appropriate for younger readers.Rebel Wheels Series Reading OrderRebel (Rebel Wheels Book 1)Hellion (Rebel Wheels Book 2)Trouble (Rebel Wheels Book 3)

    It's difficult to fit in when plant eaters can be so cruel--just because you ate a relative of theirs that one time! What's a carnivore to do? Aaron Reynolds's roaringly funny text is perfectly paired with Dan Santat's dynamic illustrations, creating a toothsome picture book that's sure to stand out from the herd.

    This opportunity of a lifetime not only capitulated Lexi into a new and exciting world but onto a hot and steamy path with Alex Stone, the band's lead guitarist. Their passion simmered as they tired to maintain their secret relationship, leaving both Alex and Lexi wanting more than the "no strings, sex only" agreement they had negotiated. Hearts and rules were broken as Lexi learned the hard way, you can't negotiate with emotions, least of all love. In this companion novella, we get to examine what has happened behind the scenes from different perspectives, told to us by the characters themselves. Through the eyes of Alex and others we get a clearer view of how Lexi's arrival affects not only dynamics of the band but their personal relationships with her and each other. We get to know the main players more intimately as we are given access to interviews and personal accounts, learning not only about them and what makes them tick but how their world has changed since Lexi's arrival.

    Now she is out looking for adventure. She just doesn’t expect to discover a shifter-only town and one six foot eight, grumpy, bear-shifting sheriff named Aleksander Arkadion.Aleksander Arkadion only wants to date shifter females after working a brutal homicide case that has him returning to the shifter-only town of his youth. Which is why is he curious to discover a human in town and shocked when he realizes the tiny woman is his mate.As the attraction between them grows, Aleks realizes that he can’t stay away from the petite female, but the realization may come too late. Although her body was never in any danger, he may have destroyed her heart by pushing her away. Now he has to convince his mate he really does want her while keeping her safe from rogue hyenas bent on taking her.

    In “Plays With Cars,” the former Porsche manager covers some of his most ridiculous decisions, like buying an old Land Rover sight unseen, taking a Mercedes AMG station wagon to a rural Georgia dragstrip, and roadtripping across the United States in a Lotus Elise without air conditioning. He’s also reviewed his former cars, which range from a Mercedes G-wagen to a Nissan Cube. Most importantly, he wrote this entire description himself in the third person.

    #beenthere Lilly Swanson has been planning her perfect life since she was twelve years old: Meet Mr. Right, have the big white wedding, buy a house in the burbs, and raise 2.5 picture-perfect kids. However, when her fiance bails, leaving Lilly alone at the altar to face five hundred gossipy guests, her dream turns into a nightmare. But then Lilly makes an impulsive decision---she ditches the dress, grabs her passport, and heads off to Thailand to spend her honeymoon alone. Or so she thinks . . . Because Lilly quickly learns that everything in Thailand is very hot: the weather, the merchandise, and especially Damien---the sexy, spontaneous man she meets before her feet even hit the sand. Now with no plan, and nothing holding her back, Lilly lets Damien lead her on a wild, unpredictable ride to the world's most exclusive party, Burning Moon. But after a week of letting go, indulging her every impulse and desire, Lilly must go back to the girl she used to be. Or can Damien convince her that their party doesn't have to end? "Top Pick! Almost a Bride put a smile on my face more than once. The dialogue was witty, the words were well-written and the heroine was one-of-a-kind." -- Harlequin Junkie

    Handsome and arrogant, he makes multimillion dollar business deals and seduces New York’s most beautiful women with just a smile. He has loyal friends and an indulgent family. So why has he been shuttered in his apartment for seven days, miserable and depressed? He’ll tell you he has the flu.But we all know that’s not really true.Katherine Brooks is brilliant, beautiful and ambitious. She refuses to let anything - or anyone - derail her path to success. When Kate is hired as the new associate at Drew’s father’s investment banking firm, every aspect of the dashing playboy’s life is thrown into a tailspin. The professional competition she brings is unnerving, his attraction to her is distracting, his failure to entice her into his bed is exasperating. Then, just when Drew is on the cusp of having everything he wants, his overblown confidence threatens to ruin it all. Will he be able untangle his feelings of lust and tenderness, frustration and fulfillment? Will he rise to the most important challenge of his life? Can Drew Evans win at love? Tangled is not your mother’s romance novel. It is an outrageous, passionate, witty narrative about a man who knows a lot about women…just not as much as he thinks he knows. As he tells his story, Drew learns the one thing he never wanted in life, is the only thing he can’t live without.

    

    But when a mysterious phone call lands him at a new school, he realizes that he doesn’t have a choice: his new school is a spy factory. He barely has time to learn his locker combination before his first mission plunges him into danger. A sinister organization is trying to destroy his school and take over the world, and Nate has only a few hours to stop the evil plot.With just a backpack full of spy gadgets, a bit of spy training, and their own cunning to guide them, Nate and his partner Lucy follow a trail of secret messages in pursuit of the one thing that can save their school from destruction. As they are chased through subway tunnels and across rooftops, Nate and Lucy must race to complete their mission before it is too late. Cracking secret codes, evading capture, and battling enemy agents—sixth grade wasn’t supposed to be like this!

    Squirm in a grandstand seat during an Industrial Revolution completely re-written just to see the new-fangled steam trains running over well-intentioned children (no real harm done). Recognise your neighbours - polite English zombies coping with the dystopian hell of a socialist victory in the General Election. Man up, madam, and do your OAP National Service during the pensioner wars with an insect species. Watch in awe and not some little discomfort as Queen Elizabeth does the dishes for Europe and the Ministry of Defence quietly saves the world from a rogue comet.No caricature is left unused. The science in the fiction is quite splendidly silly. This is a book to be read with tongue in cheek, preferably your own tongue and one of your own face cheeks unless you are very limber. The characters are as deep as summer puddles and the plots are as complicated as two planks of wood. Reality leaves the room on page one and farce enters just one chapter later. As literary feasts go this book is a paper bag of humbugs. It is the most fun that you can have with a librarian in the room without getting your ticket suspended.The title NGLND XPX is a text message nod to Admiral Nelson’s splendidly rousing signal, sent just as a bit of a rumble that we now call The Battle of Trafalgar was about to begin in 1805 - ‘England expects that every man will do his duty.’ Admiral Nelson appears nowhere in this book.The contents:* The Model-T Virgin* Begging your pardon, my lord, but Cook’s been eaten again* Robots knitting with rubber needles* Je pense it’s all going very bien* Footloose, en pas de basque* iG-Zero-D* In which Mr Cadwallader shampoos his parrot in the rain using some very dated popular science* Diary of a National Service chap* Blood-curdling screams and the Whitworth screw-thread* The Day the Earth took tea.

    What will he do when his greatest fear is realized? Will vines sprout out his ears? Will his skin turn pink? This crocodile has a wild imagination that kids will love. With bold color and beautiful sense of design, Greg Pizzoli's picture book debut takes this familiar childhood worry and gives us a true gem in the vein of I Want My Hat Back and Not a Box.

    He’s in love with his work colleague Melanie and his only friend Gary is a conspiracy theory nut. His life is going nowhere until he has a Near Death Experience - though Death thinks of it as a Near Dave Experience. He discovers gifts he never knew he possessed and a world he never dreamed existed. A world where the Grim Reaper is a hard drinking, grumpy Billy Joel fan and the undead are bored, lonely and dangerous. How To Be Dead is the first part in a three novella series that tells the story of Death and his office staff protecting humanity from ghosts, zombies, vampires and medium-sized apocalypses. After a nice cup of tea and a biscuit.

    She’s America’s sweetheart, darling of the media, and a multi-platinum star. But she has a secret. At the age of sixteen, she had a baby and gave him up for adoption because her boyfriend wasn't ready for fatherhood. Now she finds out that her precious baby boy has been living with his father from day one. Gabe Swanson is a Texas cattle baron riches-to-rags story. As the only son of the town's most prominent family, it was a huge blow when his father lost the family fortune in a ponzi scheme. Now, Gabe is land rich and cash poor. But he has his son and family is all that matters. When Betts moves back to the small town that shunned her, all hell breaks loose. She wants her son. Can Betts and Gabe leave their past in the rear view mirror so they can be a family?

    Short freebie from Elle Aycart.The B-bros in V-day http://www.goodreads.com/author_blog_...

    Lee Martinez delivers his first short story collection, featuring ten original tales based on his previous fantasy and science fiction novels. If you're a Martinez fan, this collection is surely something you've been waiting for. If you're simply Martinez curious (and who isn't?) this is a great sampling of strange worlds of fantasy featuring talking gorillas, sensible housekeeping kobolds, cosmic monster gods, and world-conquering space squids. These all-new, all-different tales are available for the first time. Within you'll find tales of werewolf versus bigfoot, ogre versus wizard, and rock alien versus romantic entanglement. You'll experience a terrifying descent into madness via pizza delivery and the existential angst of the gods of death. You'll discover why it's a bad idea to feed the pixies and why it's a good idea to always bring along a magical broom on your adventures. A collection eight years in the making (and worth every year), Robots versus Slime Monsters might not actually have any stories where a robot fights a slime monster, but it does feature a gorilla wrestling a lion. And in the end, isn't that almost as good?

    

    He also loves Doctor Who. But can he bring his two great loves together? And does he have the right?In January 2011, Neil Perryman set out on an insane quest to make his wife Sue watch every episode of the classic series of Doctor Who from the very beginning. Even the ones that didn't exist any more. And so, over the next two and half years, Sue gamely watched them all: William Hartnell (the Miserable Git); Patrick Troughton (the Scruffy Drunk); Jon Pertwee (the Pompous Tory); Tom Baker (the Mad One); Peter Davison (the Fit One); Colin Baker (the Court Jester); Sylvester McCoy (the Crafty Sod) and Paul McGann (the One-Night Stand). The result was a wildly successful and hilariously revealing blog called Adventures with the Wife in Space.But the adventure continues. From awkward years at school, terrified of giant insects, Daleks and rugby players, to even more awkward years as an adult, terrified of unexpected parenthood and being called a Whovian, here Neil tells the all too true story of life as a Doctor Who fan. Funny, honest and surprisingly brave, he also captures perfectly the joys - and fears - of sharing the thing you love with the people you love.Adventures With the Wife in Space is, at its heart, the story of Doctor Who, and its fans, seen through the eyes of two people - one who knows almost nothing about the programme and another who knows way too much.

    More so when she realises Amanda, her and best friend Grace's old enemy from school is back in their lives. Amanda, it turns out, is Nick’s new boss’s wife and, because of her legal and language skills, will be accompanying Nick on his business trips to Italy. How will Nick not succumb to the ruthless charms of the utterly gorgeous Amanda once he’s away from Yorkshire and in glamorous Milan? Knowing Nick is being seduced is bad enough, but when Grace falls madly in love with Sebastian, Amanda’s precious, much younger son, it can only mean trouble ahead. Determined to fight for her man, Harriet’s seduction techniques go into overdrive. Unfortunately she is hampered in her attempts by two bolshy teenagers, an increasingly eccentric mother and a job teaching horrible children. Not to mention something very strange going on at the bottom of her garden! Can Harriet save her marriage, and also her friendship with Grace? And what will happen if Nick’s new venture fails, especially now that the one thing Harriet has not even considered in all this mess appears to be staring her right in the face…? About the Author Julie Houston started writing when a child in her class told her she had the biggest tits he’d ever seen! Her horror turned to uncontrollable hysterics when he added, “My last teacher’s were nowhere as big and always in red - never in green!” She knew she just had to get it down in writing and ‘Goodness, Grace and Me’ was the result. She was taken on by agent Anne Williams at KHLA in London and Bristol and, whilst she still teaches part time, (and still finds ten-year-old kids hugely funny) she is working on the sequel which she hopes will continue to make people laugh. Julie lives in West Yorkshire, where her novels are set, with a long-suffering husband, two bolshy teenagers of her own and a mad Cockapoo called Lincoln. She is a teacher and magistrate and loves nothing more than dancing round the kitchen practising her Gangnam Style moves while polishing her granite. You can contact Julie at: joolshouston2002@yahoo.co.uk Twitter: @juliehouston2 Julie Houston on Facebook at: http:www.facebook.com/Julie.houston

    Until one day Troll goes missing and the Oliver thinks he's won! But has he?Fortunately for Trolls and Olivers everywhere, maybe there's a way that everyone can be happy...Fabulous storytelling from Adam Stower who also brought us Silly Doggy and Naughty Kitty.[summary from childledchaos.me.uk]

    The 32 tales of science fiction and fantasy assembled in this massive volume include: ARENAEXPERIMENTKEEP OUTHAPPY ENDINGHALL OF MIRRORSEARTHMEN BEARING GIFTSIMAGINEIT DIDN'T HAPPENRECESSIONALEINE KLEINE NACHTMUSIKPUPPET SHOWNIGHTMARE IN YELLOWJAYCEEPI IN THE SKYANSWERTHE GEEZENSTACKSKNOCKREBOUNDTHE STAR MOUSEABOMINABLELETTER TO A PHOENIXNOT YET THE ENDARMAGEDDONOF TIME AND EUSTACE WEAVERRECONCILIATIONNOTHING SIRIUSPATTERNTHE YEHUDI PRINCIPLECOME AND GO MADSENTRYETAOIN SHRDLUTHE ENDNOW AVAILABLE: The Second Fredric Brown Megapack! (Search this ebook store for the companion volume, with another great set of Fredric Brown tales!)And don't forget to search this ebook store for ʺWildside Press Megapackʺ to see more entries in this great series (including "The Second Fredric Brown Megapack"), covering classic authors and subjects like mysteries, science fiction, westerns, ghost stories -- and much, much more!

    Described by the Washington Post as “what every hip-hop head wishes they had as a child,” this imaginative work started as a series of printable rap-related coloring and activity images. The 48-page, fully interactive book of coloring pages, unbelievably clever activities, and smart plays on rap culture brings these stars and their music right into your living room.<!--?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /-->Featured rappers include: Bun B Queen Latifah Drake Talib Kweli Ice-T Common Wiz Khalifa Ludacris LL COOL J Big Boi Childish Gambino Questlove B.o.B Mac Miller And many, many more! Praise for Bun B's Rap Coloring and Activity Book: “A star-studded cast of some of the biggest names in rap, all in one book.”  —Fast Company’s Co.Create blog “It’s 48 pages long, and that’s the exact same number of pages the Bible has, and that’s not an accident. That’s a little thing called God’s will.” —Vice.com “The book is funny, smart, and as kid-tested, mother-approved as some of these guys get.” —Vulture.com “Hilarious…razor sharp.” —XXL “If you've spent any kind of time on the Internet, chances are something Shea Serrano has written, drawn, or created has made you smile . . . The book’s a load of fun, and is sure to please rap nerds and crayon-wielding tykes alike.” —Village Voice   “There’s art, humor and education, fun for young and old.” —Paste magazine   “This is one of the few Tumblr-to-book projects that doesn’t make me want to punch my computer in disgust. If the phrase ‘see if you can build a Budden’ doesn’t make you chuckle, then you should stay away from hip-hop or jokes.” —Christopher R. Weingarten, SPIN   “Bun B’s Rap Coloring and Activity Book is gangsta!” —Mass Appeal.com   "48 pages of MC worship mixed with a generous measure of the kind of casual dissing of its star players that hip-hop excels at.” —Esquire   “When I’m listening to Drake, I sometimes feel blue. Now, thanks to Bun B’s Rap Coloring and Activity Book, I can make Drake blue, too. And for that, I am eternally grateful.” —Ryan Dombal, Pitchfork.com   “The hip-hop coloring book is the single most important thing to happen to color since Cam’s pink Range Rover. Everyone should want a Serrano in their baño.” —Nate Erickson, GQ   “Like the old saying goes, the crayon is mightier than the sword. Bun B and Shea have assembled a perfect collection of today’s brightest hip hop stars for fans of all ages to create, color and remix. The Rap Coloring and Activity Book is like your own personal mixtape that you can hang on your fridge and impress everyone with.” —Mike Ayers, Rolling Stone “Fans can now color inside the lines of hip-hop greats.” —LA Times’ Jacket Copy blog “It’s gotta be a first—for rap and for coloring.” —Houston Chronicle   “For rap aficionados young and old.” —GQ.com “You may want to buy two copies—one to color, and one to keep fresh and new.” —Buzzfeed “The perfect coloring book for any hip-hop nerd.” —Complex magazine “If you have not already purchased a copy, put down this magazine immediately and go buy Bun B’s Rap Coloring and Activity Book.” —Kindling Quarterly “A playful celebration of rap

    She’ll tell you when it’s okay to play the cancer card, what you should take to the hospital, and gives suggestions on how to cope in those dark moments of the soul. With practical tips sprinkled throughout, Let Me Get This Off My Chest explores how breast cancer changed her outlook on life, offering honest insights, humor, and sensitivity as she looks for the silver lining in a not-so-great situation. Whether you are a woman diagnosed with breast cancer or whether you know someone with breast cancer, this book was written for you.

     Rae Stone is majoring in psychology so that she can open a clinic for autistic kids, but when her scholarship is yanked because she failed an impossible statistics course, she thinks she’s out of luck and doomed to return to her poverty-stricken hometown. Because she has three weeks of college freedom left, she goes to an upscale party and has a wild quickie with a stranger, who turns out to be the sexy owner of the Devilhouse, a BDSM club. He offers her a job that scares the heck out her, so she screws her courage to the sticking place and becomes Lady Macbeth, Domme of the Devilhouse. She’s found the money to stay in college, but will the secretive Wulf turn out to be her Prince Charming or the Devil who tempts her to ruin? This omnibus edition of The Devilhouse Books contains Episodes 1-5, including: Rae Falling #1 Into The Devilhouse #2 Secrets on his Skin #3 Rae Bound #4 Secrets of his Heart #5 Excerpt: The Blond Hottie’s hand dropped down to the small of Rae’s back and pressed, tilting her pelvis in toward his. She let him. She let him. She was just letting things happen again. Just like falling into her major and flunking out of school, she was drifting instead of making decisions. Being seduced was letting things happen to her, not doing things. The Blond Hottie nodded toward the couple, who were leaning on the wall, spent. He whispered, “Would you ever do something like that?” Rae was going back to dust-choked Pirtleville in three and half weeks. Three and half stupid weeks. Screwing The Blond Hottie against a wall would be doing something. “Yeah,” she said, “but not out here.” She had seen couples slip through a door and then emerge later, disheveled, but hadn’t really made the connection. “Back there.” The Blond Hottie smiled again, and this time, the toothiness verged on wolfiness. “You want to be against a wall?” “No.” Rae tossed her head and looked straight into his deep blue, hungry eyes. “You’re going to be the one against the wall.” WARNING: Due to sexual content, this book recommended for ages 18 and over. This title contains voyeurism, BDSM, graphic language and a wild quickie that should have only been a one night stand, and four wild nights after that.

    It's hilarious high school dating hi-jinx in a great pocket-sized edition from Archie Comics! This graphic novel collection features hand-picked, favorite stories about the comedically dysfunctional dating scene of friends Archie, Betty and Veronica at Riverdale High.