The Day the Crayons Quit
Drew Daywalt - 2013
But when he opens his box of crayons, he finds only letters, all saying the same thing: We quit!Beige is tired of playing second fiddle to Brown. Blue needs a break from coloring all that water, while Pink just wants to be used. Green has no complaints, but Orange and Yellow are no longer speaking to each other. What is Duncan to do? Debut author Drew Daywalt and New York Times bestseller Oliver Jeffers create a colorful solution in this playful, imaginative story that will have children laughing and playing with their crayons in a whole new way.
Lincoln Peirce - 2013
So when he suits up for any sport, he does it with an unmistakable swagger. From fine-tuning his trash-talking skills on the basketball court to his cocky ’tude in the soccer goal, Nate can be a bigger challenge to his teammates than their opponents. Enjoy Nate and his friends’ mostly hapless sports encounters through not-always-highlight-reel moments in the all-color Big Nate: Game On.  Includes poster.
Big Nate: I Can't Take It!
Lincoln Peirce - 2013
He thinks big. He talks big. He acts big. And the Big Nate: I Can't Take It, featuring our mischievous middle-school hero, is big fun.Life can be stressful for Nate Wright. At school, Mrs. Godfrey makes every day a nightmare. At home, he's stuck between Ellen, his incredibly annoying older sister, and Dad, perhaps the most clueless parent of all time. And don't get him started on Gina, the ultimate teacher's pet, or Artur, the unassuming exchange student who bests him at every turn. It's enough to make even a can-do kid like Nate scream: "I CAN'T TAKE IT!"
The Disaster Artist: My Life Inside The Room, the Greatest Bad Movie Ever Made
Greg Sestero - 2013
Described by one reviewer as “like getting stabbed in the head,” the $6 million film earned a grand total of $1,800 at the box office and closed after two weeks. Now in its tenth anniversary year, The Room is an international phenomenon to rival The Rocky Horror Picture Show. Thousands of fans wait in line for hours to attend screenings complete with costumes, audience rituals, merchandising, and thousands of plastic spoons.Readers need not have seen The Room to appreciate its costar Greg Sestero’s account of how Tommy Wiseau defied every law of artistry, business, and interpersonal relationships to achieve the dream only he could love. While it does unravel mysteries for fans, The Disaster Artist is more than just an hilarious story about cinematic hubris: It is ultimately a surprisingly inspiring tour de force that reads like a page-turning novel, an open-hearted portrait of a supremely enigmatic man who will capture your heart.
Lincoln Peirce - 2013
The third Big Nate comic compilation in the New York Times bestselling series by Lincoln Peirce!Big Nate is a New York Times bestseller and the star of his own comic strip!Here comes the latest comic compilation from Lincoln Peirce, all about king of detention and cartooning genius Nate Wright!Includes more than 300 black-and-white comic strips, plus bonus Big Nate material in the back!"Big Nate is funny, big time."—Jeff Kinney, author of Diary of a Wimpy KidAlso includes a sneak peek of the next Big Nate novel, Big Nate: In the Zone!
The Little World of Liz Climo
Liz Climo - 2013
Through her comics, we make unexpected yet wise discoveries: how armadillos make fast-and-easy Halloween costumes, how dinosaurs deal with their inquisitive children, or the ingenious ways that animal friends can work together to ensure their juice is always freshly squeezed.
Bex Carter 1: Aunt Jeanie's Revenge
Tiffany Nicole Smith - 2013
Her biggest challenge is living with her Aunt Jeanie. As much as Bex tries to please her aunt, they always seem to butt heads. Sometimes Bex feels as if Aunt Jeanie goes out of her way to make her life miserable. Aunt Jeanie enrolls Bex in a social group called the Silver Roses, a group that's supposed to teach young girls how to be proper ladies, however it turns out to be nothing more than a club for snobs. Bex wants out, but she's made a deal with Aunt Jeanie. Will Bex take a stand against the Silver Roses or will their snobbery rub off on her? #1: Aunt Jeanie's Revenge #2: All's Fair in Love and Math #3: Winter Blunderland #4: The Great "BOY"cott of Lincoln Middle #5: Love, Politics, and Red Velvet Cupcakes #6: So Scandalous
Tell Me It's Real
T.J. Klune - 2013
For current Paperback edition see: Tell Me It's RealDo you believe in love at first sight? Paul Auster doesn't. Paul doesn't believe in much at all. He's thirty, slightly overweight, and his best features are his acerbic wit and the color commentary he provides as life passes him by. His closest friends are a two-legged dog named Wheels and a quasibipolar drag queen named Helena Handbasket. He works a dead-end job in a soul-sucking cubicle, and if his grandmother's homophobic parrot insults him one more time, Paul is going to wring its stupid neck. Enter Vince Taylor. Vince is everything Paul isn't: Sexy, confident, and dumber than the proverbial box of rocks. And for some reason, Vince pursues Paul relentlessly. Vince must be messing with him, because there is no way Vince could want someone like Paul. But when Paul hits Vince with his car - in a completely unintentional if-he-died-it'd-only-be-manslaughter kind of way - he's forced to see Vince in a whole new light. The only thing stopping Paul from believing in Vince is himself - and that is one obstacle Paul can't quite seem to overcome. But when tragedy strikes Vince's family, Paul must put aside any notions he has about himself and stand next to the man who thinks he's perfect the way he is.
Amy Krouse Rosenthal - 2013
Especially when you're NOT like everyone else. Especially when what sets you apart is YOU.Sometimes we squish ourselves to fit in. We shrink. Twist. Bend. Until -- ! -- a friend shows the way to endless possibilities.In this bold and highly visual book, an emphatic but misplaced exclamation point learns that being different can be very exciting! Period.
I Am Pusheen the Cat
Claire Belton - 2013
Birthday: February 18Sex: Female Where she lives: In the house, on the couch, underfootHer favorite pastime: Blogging, sleepingHer best feature: Her toe beans Her favorite food: All of themPusheen is a pleasantly plump cat who has warmed hearts and tickled funny bones of millions worldwide with her signature GIF animated bops, bounces, and tail wiggles. Now, Pusheen is ready to make the leap from digital to print in her first comic collection! Learn what makes her purr and find out why millions of people have already fallen in love with this naughty, adorable kitty. Featuring some of the most popular stories from Pusheen’s Tumblr and Facebook pages (plus a healthy serving of never-before-seen material), I Am Pusheen the Cat is a treat for cat lovers and comics fans alike.
The Upright Citizens Brigade Comedy Improvisation Manual
Matt Besser - 2013
Written by UCB founding members Matt Besser, Ian Roberts, and Matt Walsh, the manual covers everything from the basics of two person scene work (with a heavy emphasis on finding "the game" of the scene), to the complexities of working within an ensemble to perform long form structures, such as "The Harold" and "The Movie". A practical "how to" book, the guide provides exercises throughout to help the reader master each new concept and technique introduced. While the manual is written to be understood by beginners with no previous exposure to improvisational comedy, experienced improvisors will find it to be an excellent resource for honing their skills, clarifying concepts, and generally taking their work to a higher level.
Star Wars: Jedi Academy
Jeffrey Brown - 2013
The setting? A galaxy far, far away...Roan's one dream is to leave home and attend Pilot Academy like his older brother, father, and grandfather. But just as Roan is mysteriously denied entrance to Pilot School, he is invited to attend Jedi Academy--a school that he didn't apply to and only recruits children when they are just a few years old. That is, until now...This inventive novel follows Roan's first year at Jedi Academy where, under the tutelage of Master Yoda, he learns that he possesses more strength and potential than he could have ever dreamed. Oh, and he learns other important things too--like how to make a baking soda volcano, fence with a lightsaber, slow dance with a girl, and lift boulders with the Force.
Black Swan Collected Tales: Books 4-6
Victoria Danann - 2013
She escaped death by being forced into an experiment that left her in another world where modern day knights, elves, vampires, werewolves, witches, demons and fae became her allies, friends and family. She discovered a place where adventure intersects fairytales, where honor is more than an ideal, and she learned that love can find you in the strangest places, when you're least expecting it, even when you're far, far from home. This is the story of Elora Laiken's strange and wonderful journey. It is also the story of those whose lives she touches along the way. If you love romance, paranormal, science fiction, fantasy, strong female lead, alpha males, and complex storylines, this series is right for you. Age 17+ This is an ongoing story. READING THIS SERIAL SAGA IN ORDER HIGHLY RECOMMENDED. Start with Black Swan Collected Tales, Books 1-3, Volume 1. Includes Moonlight, Gathering Storm, and A Tale of Two Kingdoms.
Peanuts Vol. 2
Charles M. Schulz - 2013
This will be the year everything will change! Or so he thinks... Lucy has a different opinion on the matter. Taking him through his prospective sweethearts, Lucy decides that this Valentine's Day, she will teach Charlie Brown to reign in his expectations.
David Walliams - 2013
Strange things were happening in the dead of night. Children would put a tooth under their pillow for the tooth fairy, but in the morning they would wake up to find… a dead slug; a live spider; hundreds of earwigs creeping and crawling beneath their pillow.Evil was at work. But who or what was behind it…?
My Dog: The Paradox: A Lovable Discourse about Man's Best Friend
Matthew Inman - 2013
This eponymous comic became an instant hit when it went live on The Oatmeal.com and was liked on Facebook by 700,000 fans. Now fans will have a keepsake book of this comic to give and to keep.In My Dog: The Paradox, Inman discusses the canine penchant for rolling in horse droppings, chasing large animals four times their size, and acting recklessly enthusiastic through the entirety of their impulsive, lovable lives. Hilarious and heartfelt, My Dog: The Paradox eloquently illustrates the complicated relationship between man and dog.We will never know why dogs fear hair dryers, or being baited into staring contests with cats, but as Inman explains, perhaps we love dogs so much “because their lives aren’t lengthy, logical, or deliberate, but an explosive paradox composed of fur, teeth, and enthusiasm.”
Johannes Cabal and the Blustery Day
Jonathan L. Howard - 2013
But before all that, he fought the terrifying Bonewind, a supernatural being that devours life itself, and he did it all without leaving his house. "Johannes Cabal and the Blustery Day" was the story that first introduced the necromancer of some little infamy back in 2004. Long out of print, it makes its belated return on Hallowe'en, of course.
Walking Your Octopus: A Guidebook to the Domesticated Cephalopod
Brian Kesinger - 2013
Thirty panoramic, full-page illustrations humorously chronicle the duo's home and social activities that include (among other things) bathing, biking, dating, cooking, playing croquet, and pumpkin carving. Accompanying text explains the "do"s and "don't"s of living with a large land octopus. The book's art is extremely detailed, and each illustration tells its own visual story. The Victorian era characters and period-influenced design elements combine to create a wonderful, collectible art-object for those who still value the classic elegance of ink-on-paper. The hardcover binding is plussed with two-layer embossing and spot varnish, and the interior is printed on extra heavy paper. An exquisite volume for lovers of books, art and pets.
Bridget Heos - 2013
They are reassured when he nobly saves the day in imaginary-play sessions as a cowboy or cop and his mustache looks good-guy great. But as time passes, their worst fears are confirmed when little Billy’s mustache starts to curl up at the ends in a suspiciously villainous fashion. Sure enough, “Billy’s disreputable mustache led him into a life of dreadful crime.” Plenty of tongue-in-cheek humor and cartoonish illustrations make this the perfect baby-shower gift for a mustachioed father-to-be.
Love and Lists
Tara Sivec - 2013
He's also always had their unsolicited advice and uncanny knack of embarrassing him at all costs. Now that he's an adult and trying to convince the love of his life to love him back, things haven't changed very much from when he was younger. When Gavin's best friend Tyler suggests he make a to-do list of items that will ensure he wins the girl, Gavin is one-hundred-percent on board: after a few six packs.After puking in the shrubs, a bad experience with Viagra, a Sex-Ed course gone wrong, and a slew of other mishaps courtesy of his family and friends, Gavin is pretty sure this list will be the death of him.Sometimes, trying to make someone love you with a list isn't always the best idea. Especially when "Show her your penis" is the first "to-do" item...
The Most of Nora Ephron
Nora Ephron - 2013
Everything you could possibly want from Nora Ephron is here—from her writings on journalism, feminism, and being a woman (the notorious piece on being flat-chested, the clarion call of her commencement address at Wellesley) to her best-selling novel, Heartburn, written in the wake of her devastating divorce from Carl Bernstein; from her hilarious and touching screenplay for the movie When Harry Met Sally . . . (“I’ll have what she’s having”) to her recent play Lucky Guy (published here for the first time); from her ongoing love affair with food, recipes and all, to her extended takes on such controversial women as Lillian Hellman and Helen Gurley Brown; from her pithy blogs on politics to her moving meditations on aging (“I Feel Bad About My Neck”) and dying. Her superb writing, her unforgettable movies, her honesty and fearlessness, her nonpareil humor have made Nora Ephron an icon for America’s women—and not a few of its men.
Lil BUB's Lil Book: The Extraordinary Life of the Most Amazing Cat on the Planet
Lil Bub - 2013
The adorable "perma-kitten” might look a little different than other felines, but her tiny size, toothless mouth, and extra toes have made her the darling of cat lovers around the world. Aided by her human, this celebri-cat is finally satisfying her demanding public with a book. Showcasing 100 captioned full color photos of Lil BUB —traveling through space, exploring the Earth, flying in hot air balloons, napping, and even skateboarding—Lil BUB’s Lil Book is exactly what her millions of fans want. Sure to please fans of LOLcats and Boo: The Life of the World’s Cutest Dog, Lil BUB’s Lil Book is the perfect book for anyone who needs more cute in their lives.
Hyperbole and a Half: Unfortunate Situations, Flawed Coping Mechanisms, Mayhem, and Other Things That Happened
Allie Brosh - 2013
Because I wrote it, I had to figure out what to put on the back cover to explain what it is. I tried to write a long, third-person summary that would imply how great the book is and also sound vaguely authoritative--like maybe someone who isn’t me wrote it--but I soon discovered that I’m not sneaky enough to pull it off convincingly. So I decided to just make a list of things that are in the book:PicturesWordsStories about things that happened to meStories about things that happened to other people because of meEight billion dollars*Stories about dogsThe secret to eternal happiness**These are lies. Perhaps I have underestimated my sneakiness!
Count the Monkeys
Mac Barnett - 2013
Full of fun reader interactions and keeps readers guessing until the very last page! Matching Mac Barnett's brilliant wit are Kevin Cornell's luminous illustrations, which will have young readers begging to count the monkeys all over again.
The Seven Good Years
Etgar Keret - 2013
Lev is born in the midst of a terrorist attack. Etgar’s father gets cancer. The threat of constant war looms over their home and permeates daily life.What emerges from this dark reality is a series of sublimely absurd ruminations on everything from Etgar’s three-year-old son’s impending military service to the terrorist mind-set behind Angry Birds. There’s Lev’s insistence that he is a cat, releasing him from any human responsibilities or rules. Etgar’s siblings, all very different people who have chosen radically divergent paths in life, come together after his father’s shivah to experience the grief and love that tie a family together forever. This wise, witty memoir—Etgar’s first non-fiction book, and told in his inimitable style—is full of wonder and life and love, poignant insights, and irrepressible humor.
The Summer of Our Discontent
Robin Alexander - 2013
A few doors down, Rachel Chauvin is looking for the same, but her conservative style hasn’t yielded any keepers, either. Neither woman is willing to consider the other as a prospective partner, mostly because they’ve hated each other for nearly four decades.Change is in the air, and spring is giving way to The Summer of Our Discontent.
Geronimo Stilton - 2013
While flying through the cosmos he visits distant planets and meets crazy aliens. His adventures are out of this world! ALIEN ESCAPEGeroimo Stiltonix's spaceship is in danger of exploding! The only solution is to replace the engine's batteries by tracking down a rare element. When a group of mysterious aliens claim they can help, Geronimo is relieved. But are the aliens as friendly as they seem?
Did I Mention I Won The Lottery?
Julie Butterfield - 2013
The only problem is – she hasn’t told her husband. So at weekends she’s a dutiful wife in Darlington, working at the local deli and making shepherd’s pie for dinner, but during the week she’s living in her new mansion in Leeds spending her days shopping whilst her husband thinks she’s looking after her sick mother. Will she get the courage to tell him before he finds out for himself? And can several million pounds in your bank account save a failing marriage?
When Mischief Came to Town
Katrina Nannestad - 2013
Her grandmother is stern, the people on the island are strange, and children are supposed to be seen and not heard. But no matter how hard Inge tries to be good, mischief has a way of finding her. Could it be that a bit of mischief is exactly what Grandmother and the people of Bornholm need?
Snoopy: Cowabunga! (Peanuts Collection)
Charles M. Schulz - 2013
Whether you're a fussbudget like Lucy, philosopher like Linus, Flying Ace like Snoopy, or a lovable loser like Charlie Brown, there is something to touch your heart or make you laugh in Peanuts.Charles Schulz’s Peanuts is one of the most timeless and beloved comic strips ever. Now AMP! helps carry on that legacy with new collections of Peanuts classics focused around topics sure to resonate with middle-grade readers. Kicking off the series is Snoopy: Cowabunga! First published in 1950, the classic Peanuts strip now appears in more than 2,200 newspapers in 75 countries in 25 languages. Phrases such as “security blanket” and “good grief,” which originated in the Peanuts world, are now part of the global vernacular, and images of Charles Schulz’s classic characters— Charlie Brown kicking the football, Lucy leaning over Schroeder’s piano—are now universally recognized.Together these books will introduce a new generation of kids to the lovable cast in time for the new animated Peanuts movie, which hits theaters in 2015!
The Flavia de Luce Series 4-Book Bundle: The Sweetness at the Bottom of the Pie, The Weed That Strings the Hangman's Bag, A Red Herring Without Mustard, I Am Half-Sick of Shadows
Alan Bradley - 2013
Then, hours later, Flavia finds a man lying in the cucumber patch and watches him as he takes his dying breath. For Flavia, who is both appalled and delighted, life begins in earnest when murder comes to Buckshaw. THE WEED THAT STRINGS THE HANGMAN’S BAG Flavia de Luce, a genius at investigating murders, thinks that her days of crime-solving in the bucolic English hamlet of Bishop’s Lacey are over—until puppeteer Rupert Porson has his own strings sizzled in an unfortunate rendezvous with electricity. But who’d do such a thing, and why? All clues point toward a suspicious death years earlier and a case the local constables can’t solve—without Flavia’s help. But in getting so close to who’s pulling the strings of this dance of death, has Flavia gotten in way over her head? A RED HERRING WITHOUT MUSTARD In the hamlet of Bishop’s Lacey, the unflappable Flavia de Luce had asked a Gypsy woman to tell her fortune—never expecting to later stumble across the poor soul, bludgeoned almost to death in her own caravan. Was this an act of retribution by those convinced that the soothsayer abducted a local child years ago? As the red herrings pile up, Flavia must sort through clues fishy and foul to untangle dark deeds and dangerous secrets. I AM HALF-SICK OF SHADOWS It’s Christmastime when a film crew arrives at Buckshaw, Flavia de Luce’s beloved home, to shoot a movie starring the famed Phyllis Wyvern. Amid a raging blizzard, the entire village of Bishop’s Lacey gathers to watch Wyvern perform, yet nobody is prepared for the evening’s shocking conclusion: a body found strangled to death with a length of film. Who among the assembled guests would stage such a chilling scene? As the storm worsens, Flavia must ferret out a killer hidden in plain sight.
David LaRochelle - 2013
Moooo! But a bump in the road brings this joy ride to a troublesome end. Moo-moo. . . Has Cow learned her lesson about living life in the fast lane? Moo?Pairing two talented creators who managed to tell a complete story with just one word—MOO—this imaginative picture book will have readers laughing one moment and on the edge of their seats the next, as it captures the highs and lows of a mischievous cow's very exciting day.
When I Was a Kid 2
Boey - 2013
Of surviving school, sibiling and parents. It is about the things I did, and problems a kid had to find answers for, in a time before the internet. This book is honest, and it will probably hurt my relationship with my mom when she reads it.But what the hell.
Free Country: A Penniless Adventure the Length of Britain
George Mahood - 2013
George and Ben have three weeks to cycle 1000 miles from the bottom of England to the top of Scotland. There is just one small problem… they have no bikes, no clothes, no food and no money. Setting off in just a pair of Union Jack boxer shorts, they attempt to rely on the generosity of the British public for everything from food to accommodation, clothes to shoes, and bikes to beer.During the most hilarious adventure, George and Ben encounter some of Great Britain's most eccentric and extraordinary characters and find themselves in the most ridiculous situations. Free Country is guaranteed to make you laugh (you may even shed a tear). It will restore your faith in humanity and leave you with a big smile on your face and a warm feeling inside.
My New School
Bill Campbell - 2013
Well, that is what Madonna is hoping for. She is a "normal" girl, well kind of. Not in the cool group and not a nerd either. Just in between and trying to fit in. Follow her hilarious adventures at her new school. Bet you can relate to heaps of them!
OMG! All About Me Diary!
Rachel Renée Russell - 2013
Narrate your very own Dork Diary with this write-in journal, filled with questions for every day and complete with art and quotes from Nikki Maxwell herself! As Nikki Maxwell knows, keeping a journal is a great way to get to know the most important person in your life: YOU! This special Dork Diaries guided journal features questions for every day of the year.If you could swap places with anyone for a day, who would it be and why? What song could you listen to 100 times? What TV show are you totally obsessed with right now and why? What’s the fiercest outfit in your closet? Put your personal spin on these questions and many more—and since this is an authentic Dork Diary, Nikki chimes in with her answers and artwork as well!
Awkward Moments (Not Found in Your Average) Children's Bible - Volume #1: Illustrating the Bible Like You've Never Seen Before!
Horus Gilgamesh - 2013
Within hours, the book became the #1 Bestseller in Amazon.com's Humor & Religion category! Combining actual Bible verses with more than 30 whimsical original illustrations, "Awkward Moments" uses humor to encourage people from all walks of life to think, perhaps for the first time, about how the Bible continues to shape our culture.BEWARE - NOT FOR KIDS! This is definitely "not" your average children's Bible! If you thought the bestseller ""Go The F**k To Sleep"" was inappropriate for story-time with kids, you haven't seen anything yet! Leave it to the Bible! "Foreskins Fetishes? Unicorn Murders? Boiled Babies? Messiah, MIA? Selling Daughters? Cannibalism Club? Genetic Breakthroughs? Demonic Bacon? Gagged Women? Jihad Jesus? You bet! And much more!"From the opening forewords by Facebook's own God and acclaimed author David G. McAfee, to the challenging commentaries and interactive games at the end, "Awkward Moments Children's Bible" is much more than an irreverent book for your coffee table! Readers of all faiths will find themselves laughing out loud while being encouraged to think about the Bible in a new way.Let's be honest - there are some things in the Good Book that are just... awkward! There are verses we'd like to forget or that have been changed throughout the centuries. There are many verses you've never heard before in church, let alone seen in your average children's Bible! Not to mention the verses that have been added over the centuries!Most people were raised in the faith chosen by their family. Young children learn a few Bible stories taken out of context and accept them without question. "(On what basis could they possibly question their parents or church leaders?)" After decades of repetition and tradition, it's understandable that we might put our beliefs on auto-pilot and just nod as a pastor repeats the verses and ideas that are already familiar and comfortable to us. It's no wonder that recent studies show an incredible lack of Biblical knowledge among Christians - 55% unable to even name the four Gospels of the New Testament - "the very foundation of Christianity!"The Goal? "Awkward Moments" encourages readers to really understand what is in their Bibles and think for themselves about the context of Biblical teaching. The 32 color illustrations and included commentaries will likely challenge some readers to reflect on how religion continues to shape the lives and culture of future generations. If readers happen to laugh out loud and enjoy the interactive puzzles and games in the mean time - "it's just an added bonus!"
The Lure of White Oak Lake
Robin Alexander - 2013
Their pet project is Jaclyn Wyatt, a single mother who, in their opinion, needs a little help in the romance department. Jaclyn doesn’t agree, but the trio secretly springs into action when a newcomer arrives. Morgan Chassion retreated to White Oak Lake to mentally and emotionally recover from losing her father, being dumped by her girlfriend and the final insult, losing her job. The past few months have not been kind and solace is what she needs, but complication is what she gets. Love’s potion is being brewed in White Oak Lake. The recipe is simple, two lonely hearts, a little time, and a dash of vulnerability. Add a little heat and the potion is complete.
Robin Alexander - 2013
Jorie Andolini is one of those people and has spent a lot of time envisioning that moment. She bumps into a woman at a grocery store, the woman drops a can of peas, Jorie picks it up, their eyes meet, and two souls connect. But it’s actually a wasted trip to New York, a snowstorm, and a canceled flight home that puts her in the path of Lena Vaughn.Lena has found fault in every man she’s ever dated. Her dream of finding a husband is dwindling with every year that passes. Despite what her friends say, Lena doesn’t believe she has a fear of commitment, she simply hasn’t found a man she wanted to commit to. It comes as a surprise that in fact it is a woman who stirs those desires. For Lena, it’s not really a matter of sexuality, it’s just Jorie.Travel the road to happiness with Jorie and Lena. Two crazy old women, meddling friends, and cattitude are just some sights you’ll see along the way.
A Pug's Guide to Etiquette
Gemma Correll - 2013
Pugs play by their own set of rules. When you want them to sit, they stand; when you want them to stay, they go; and when you want them to stop eating that unidentified item on the floor, well...Traditional schools of canine thought put this behaviour down to a stubborn refusal to be trained that's inherent in the bred. Not so. This behaviour is, in fact, down to an ancient set of rules, passed down from pug generation to pug generation. A Pug's Guide to Etiquette attempts to explain these rules, thereby advancing pug-human relations to hitherto unprecedented heights.
NYC Basic Tips and Etiquette
Nathan W. Pyle - 2013
Nathan decided to draw his favorite tips and etiquette lessons and post them on the internet, where his 12 original panels went viral immediately and became the basis for this hilarious illustrated book (check out the fully animated ebook, too!).In NYC Basic Tips and Etiquette, Pyle reveals the secrets and unwritten rules for living in and visiting New York including the answers to such burning questions as, which cabs should I try to hail? What is a bodega? Which way is Uptown? Why are there so many doors in the sidewalk? How do I walk on an escalator? Do we need to be touching right now? Where should I inhale or exhale while passing sidewalk garbage? How long should I honk my horn? If New York were a game show, how would I win? What happens when I stand in the bike lane? Who should get the empty subway seats? How do I stay safe during a trash tornado? Each tip is a little story illustrated in simple black and white drawings.Visitors and newcomers to New York will love it because the advice is smart, funny, and not condescending. New Yorkers will love it for its strategic and humorous approach to mastering the daily chaos of the city.
The Quirky Tale of April Hale
Cathy Octo - 2013
The catch? He’s trouble. Naturally, he’s irresistibly charming. Surprisingly, he’s impressively academic, too. But it’s his knack for getting into fights that makes him notorious. Dorky, clumsy, and just plain odd—April Hale talks like Yoda, eats her food based on the day of the week, and prefers binge watching TV shows to partying. She has also spent the past few years eavesdropping on the Blacks’ morning fights. It was her daily routine. Until that one morning that Ryder catches her looking into his bedroom window… and she becomes all but anonymous in his eyes. Hell-bent on making contact, Ryder gets a sneak peek into the quirky world of April when she stuffs all of her fingers in her mouth and faints the first time he talks to her. She’s unusual. He’s captivated. In this delightfully wacky and fun story, we discover that sometimes what makes us outcasts from the world are the very things that make us special. Join April and Ryder in their journey to discovering more about life… and about each other. It will give you butterflies in the stomach, tickle your funny bones, and pull at your heartstrings until the very last page.
Psych's Guide to Crime Fighting for the Totally Unqualified
Shawn Spencer - 2013
GET PSYCHED!You've seen him solve unsolvable crimes, stop unstoppable killers, and consume unconsumable breakfast cereals. Now Shawn Spencer (James Roday), the mastermind from TV's hit show Psych, shows you how to become a fake psychic-and a real detective-using his patented methods of crime-fighting awesomeness. Along the way, he'll help you deal with whiny sidekicks (that means you, Gus), interfering police officers (including but not limited to Chief Vick, Lassiter, Henry, Buzz MacNab, and, ah, Juliet), and flashes of genius (like Evel Knievel's white leather jumpsuit). You'll discover:How to set up a totally bitchin' office, where Wednesday = Ladies NightHow to convince your sidekick that he's really your partnerHow to pick up women at a crime sceneShawn's Stakeout Survival Guide, including sensible snacksGus's Scream-and-Run Method for confronting criminalsUnsolved mysteries like who stole Shawn's Sno-Caps in third gradeThe ideal sleuth car: Magnum, P.I.'s Ferrari or Knight Rider's K.I.T.T.?Who should play Shawn in the movie of his life: Christian Bale or Don Cheadle?New names for detectives, such as Rico Solvé and Sherlock Homeboy. . . and way more cool stuff.Packed with insane pop quizzes, unbelievable case studies, unflattering photos, and off-the-chart charts, this all-in-one guide will have you solving crimes and catching crooks like a pro-even if you don't have a clue.
Exeunt Demon King
Jonathan L. Howard - 2013
The young Cabal investigates, even though this requires him to don red tights, a curling moustache, and become... the Demon King.Back in 2006, "Exeunt Demon King" was the second Johannes Cabal story published. It has long been out of print. So, buy your wine gums and Kia-Ora in the foyer, find your seat in the dress circle, and join Cabal as he hunts the evil that haunts the Alhambra Theatre.
Matt Haig - 2013
. .The Humans is a funny, compulsively readable novel about alien abduction, mathematics, and that most interesting subject of all: ourselves. Combine Douglas Adams’s irreverent take on life, the universe, and everything with a genuinely moving love story, and you have some idea of the humor, originality, and poignancy of Matt Haig’s latest novel.Our hero, Professor Andrew Martin, is dead before the book even begins. As it turns out, though, he wasn’t a very nice man--as the alien imposter who now occupies his body discovers. Sent to Earth to destroy evidence that Andrew had solved a major mathematical problem, the alien soon finds himself learning more about the professor, his family, and “the humans” than he ever expected. When he begins to fall for his own wife and son--who have no idea he’s not the real Andrew--the alien must choose between completing his mission and returning home or finding a new home right here on Earth.
Unicorn Thinks He's Pretty Great
Bob Shea - 2013
Things were just fine around here until UNICORN showed up.So what if he can fly?Or make it rain cupcakes?And turn stuff into gold?Big deal. I can do some cool stuff too, like...Hey! What are you doing? Why are you opening the book?He's just going to tell you how great he is. Blah, blah, blah.Go ahead. Just don't say I didn't warn you.Dopey Unicorn.
The Thrilling Adventure Hour
Ben AckerLar Desouza - 2013
Tompkins, Paget Brewster, Busy Philipps, Nathan Fillion, Linda Cardellini, Patton Oswalt, Neil Patrick Harris, and many, many more. And now those serialized characters will come to life on the pages of this hardcover anthology featuring all-new stories from the worlds of the TAH universe by top artists from the comics community! Each stand-alone tale celebrates and reinvigorates a new genre from the radio comedies of yesteryear, including science fiction, fantasy, westerns, superheroes, horror, war dramas, and many more. A unique, timey-wimey blend of silver age pulp and post-modern pop, this one-of-a-kind anthology promises something for everyone as this cult phenomenon jumps off the proscenium stage and onto the page for the first time in over eight years and 100+ consecutive shows around the globe!
Ann Charles - 2013
It is set in the story time between the third and fourth books in the Deadwood Mystery series. Each tale not only explains more of Violet’s history, but also shows the role each character plays in Violet’s life.In addition to this short story, there is a deleted scene from Nearly Departed in Deadwood, the first book in the Deadwood Mystery Series. Also, there are three short stories called "Dancing with Dialogue," "Rainstorms," and "Metro Madness" pulled from Ann's short story vault.
The Ransom of Brownie
C.L. Bevill - 2013
Then Brownie happened. Watch out, Pegram County! Brownie has returned to the Snoddy Estate. His mother is seven months pregnant, ordered to bed rest and in desperate need of Brownie-free time. So off Brownie goes to visit the Texas Snoddys! It’s the middle of November, he’s ten years old, and they’ve taken away his homemade Taser. How much trouble could there possibly be?Two men have decided to kidnap Brownie for the rumored Civil War gold the Snoddys reputedly have. And that was their mistake, because no one with a brain in their head kidnaps Brownie Snoddy.No one.The Ransom of Brownie is book 4.5 in the Bubba series, taking place after Bubba and the Mysterious Murder Note. It is about 41,500 words long.
Parenting: Illustrated with Crappy Pictures
Amber Dusick - 2013
But sometimes, it just sucks. I know. I'm Amber Dusick and I started my blog Parenting: Illustrated with Crappy Pictures because I needed a place to vent about the funny (and frustrating) day-to-day things that happened to me as a parent. Turns out, poop is hilarious! At least when you're not the one wiping it up.This book won't make your frustrating moments any less crappy. But these stories about my Crappy Baby, Crappy Boy and my husband, Crappy Papa, will hopefully make you laugh. Because you're not alone. And sometimes the crappiest moments make the best memories. Parenting is wonderful! And also, well, you know.
Deck the Halls, We're Off the Walls!
Dan Gutman - 2013
But what happens when kid rapper Cray-Z gives a Christmas concert at the same mall and all his fans go bananas? One thing's for sure—if A.J. and his friends from Ella Mentry School want to save the day, they will need a Christmas miracle.Bestselling author Dan Gutman brings his wacky, kid-friendly sense of humor to this all-new series of holiday adventures. With My Weird School trivia and Christmas-themed facts and puzzles, this is one weird Christmas special you don't want to miss!
To Be or Not To Be: A Chooseable-Path Adventure
Ryan North - 2013
Play as Hamlet, Ophelia, or King Hamlet--if you want to die on the first page and play as a ghost. It's pretty awesome! Readers can follow Yorick skull markers to stick closely to Shakespeare's plot, or go off-script and explore alternative possibilities filled with puzzles and humor.Each ending in the book is accompanied by a full-color, full-page illustration by one of the 65 most excellent artists working today, so each rereading yields new surprises and rewards. Ryan's prose is, as always, colloquial and familiar but full of clever references, vivid imagination, and only the most choice of jokes. Inventive devices like a book-within-a-book (to mirror Hamlet's play-within-a-play) take full advantage of the gamebook medium and liven up the original story for even the most disinterested of Shakespeare readers!To Be or Not to Be became a sensation when it launched: over 15,000 people backed the book in just one month, and it remains the number-one most funded publishing project ever on Kickstarter.com.To be, or not to be: that is the adventure!
The Adventures of Zelda: A Pug Tale
Kristen Otte - 2013
But, she isn't an ordinary pug content to eat and sleep her days away. Zelda is always searching for a new adventure, mystery to solve, or squirrel to catch, and her unexpected reactions cause readers to smile and laugh. The thirteen short stories in this book connect and build into a story arc creating an exciting chapter book for young readers, providing a glimpse into the mind of a curious canine. But no matter your age, pug fanatics and dog lovers will enjoy the adventures of this enchanting pug who grabs life like a bone and won't let go. Books in the Zelda Series: The Adventures of Zelda: A Pug Tale The Adventures of Zelda: The Second Saga The Adventures of Zelda: Pug and Peach
Home Is the Sailor
Patrick Taylor - 2013
Fingal Flahertie O'Reilly as the irascible senior partner of a general practice in the colourful Irish village of Ballybucklebo.But there was a time, shortly after arriving in Ballybucklebo, that Dr. O'Reilly was not widely accepted by the villagers. This touching short story tell of how O'Reilly, with a little help, began to overcome their objections.Whether you're visiting for the first time, or you're a long-time resident, you'll enjoy this fun glimpse into life Patrick Taylor's village of Ballybucklebo.
The Hidden Tools of Comedy: The Serious Business of Being Funny
Steve Kaplan - 2013
The Hidden Tools of Comedy unlocks the unique secrets and techniques of writing comedy. Kaplan deconstructs sequences in popular films and TV that work and don’t work, and explains what tools were used (or should have been used).
Who's on First?
Bud Abbott - 2013
What’s on second. I Don’t Know’s on third.” One of the classic comedy sketches of all time is now transformed into a priceless picture book—and it’s a great read for kids of all ages. Follow the mistaken identities, confusion, and lots of laughs as Rabbit and Bear act out this scene. The book will appeal to Abbott and Costello fans, baseball fans, and anyone who enjoys funny banter-driven picture books. Illustrated in full color with slightly retro stylized illustrations.“The book is stunning ~ dad and Bud would be proud!!”—Chris Costello, Daughter of Lou Costello
The Play That Goes Wrong
Henry Lewis - 2013
I'm Inspector Carter. Take my case. This must be Charles Haversham! I'm sorry, this must've given you all a damn shock.After benefitting from a large and sudden inheritance, the inept and accident-prone Cornley Polytechnic Drama Society embark on producing an ambitious 1920s murder mystery. They are delighted that neither casting issues nor technical hitches currently stand in their way. However, hilarious disaster ensues and the cast start to crack under the pressure, but can they get the production back on track before the final curtain falls?The Play That Goes Wrong is a farcical murder mystery, a play within a play, conceived and performed by award-winning company Theatre Mischief. It was first published as a one-act play and is published in this new edition as a two-act play.
Jon Scieszka - 2013
Alex isn't interested - until he decides to make the book something he'd actually like to read. So he takes out his pencil, sharpens his creativity, and totally transforms the story!Birthday Bunny becomes Battle Bunny, and the rabbit's innocent journey through the forest morphs into a supersecret mission to unleash an evil plan - a plan that only Alex can stop.Featuring layered, original artwork that emphasizes Alex's additions, this dynamic exploration of creative storytelling is sure to engage and inspire.
Henri, le Chat Noir: The Existential Musings of an Angst-Filled Cat
William Braden - 2013
Through his series of short films and interactions with an enthusiastic online community, Henri's contemplation and disillusion with the world has struck a chord with millions of fans. Now, finally, we have a collection of Henri's musings in his own words featuring never-before-seen photos and quotes. This book is a window into the tortured soul of the world's first feline philosopher.
Robin Alexander - 2013
Blake has made a career out of writing novels that make her readers want to leave the lights on at night. What Blake’s fans and very few people realize is that Blake Taylor is scared of her own shadow and just about everything else. After a family intervention, a case of writer’s block, and the desire to be free of the confines of fear, she leaves New York and rents a house in Cypress Glade, Louisiana. Quinn Scott, a local, is hired by Blake’s agent to be a tour guide of sorts for her most famous and troublesome client. The job seems simple for a thousand bucks a month, but as she gets to know Blake, it’s anything but easy. Birds, squirrels, broccoli, and dogs are fearsome creatures. Find a comfortable spot, visit Cypress Glade, and watch as these two women learn to conquer fears that don’t always go bump in the night. Be warned, a few feathers may fly…
Him & Me
Jack Whitehall - 2013
Written in two distinctive styles, it reflects the larger-than-life personalities of its authors, Jack and Michael Whitehall.'This book is a portrait of the pretty odd relationship I have with my elderly father. It's given me an opportunity to share memories of him losing his temper with foreigners on holidays, being rude to my mother's family at Christmas and failing epically during the fathers' race at my prep school. He's also written some stories about me, but can I just say, before you read anything, that I recall being a calm, well-behaved and learned child, not the intellectually subnormal, mal-coordinated dipshit that he paints me as. Nor am I, as he suggests inside, a sex addict, a flasher or a Scientologist.' - Jack'How dare Jack refer to me as elderly! People always tell me how young I look for my age. In this book, I have at last been able to recount the many occasions when I have been let down by my only son. He failed on the stage, the sports field and he even screwed up the interview for his first boarding school by pretending he had mental health issues. Despite being practically illiterate, he tells stories about me, strewn with grammatical errors and peppered with endless exaggerations and lies. I was a kind, doting father, who guided his son through his formative years with love, care and respect.' - Michael'I'm not your only son, what about Barnaby?''Oh yes, I forgot about Barnaby.'Packed with anecdotes, some embarrassing and indiscreet, many warm and touching, Him & Me is lavishly illustrated with family photographs and Jack's original illustrations. Friends, relatives, neighbours, teachers, actors, none are safe once Jack and Michael have opened up the Whitehall archives and shared their hilarious memories with us.
Rise of the Balloon Goons
Troy Cummings - 2013
With easy-to-read text, high-interest content, fast-paced plots, and illustrations on every page, these books will boost reading confidence and stamina. Branches books help readers grow!Alexander has just moved to a new town where he is about to uncover all sorts of monsters! He finds an old notebook with the word "DOOM" inscribed on the front cover. The Notebook of Doom, which Alexander now holds, contains top secret information about monsters! In this first book, Alexander goes up against spooky balloon goons--unique and twisted arm-waving balloon guys! This book is full of humor, engaging black-and-white illlustrations, and of course . . . monsters!
My Grandmother Asked Me to Tell You She's Sorry
Fredrik Backman - 2013
Her grandmother is seventy-seven years old and crazy, standing-on-the-balcony-firing-paintball-guns-at-men-who-want-to-talk-about-Jesus-crazy. She is also Elsa's best, and only, friend. At night Elsa takes refuge in her grandmother's stories, in the Land of Almost-Awake and the Kingdom of Miamas where everybody is different and nobody needs to be normal.When Elsa's grandmother dies and leaves behind a series of letters apologizing to people she has wronged, Elsa's greatest adventure begins. Her grandmother's letters lead her to an apartment building full of drunks, monsters, attack dogs, and totally ordinary old crones, but also to the truth about fairytales and kingdoms and a grandmother like no other.
Rick Gualtieri - 2013
In that time I've walked amongst you - a wolf in sheep's clothing - doing unspeakable things, killing countless people.Now, on the eve of Armageddon, a chance for redemption presents itself. My past has come looking for me, beckoning me back to the city of my rebirth.Those who killed me the first time are intent on finishing the job. I'm outnumbered and outgunned, but they've got another thing coming if they think I'm outclassed.Unspeakable horrors, both old and new, await me in the City of Sin, but in the end they're all going to learn one very painful lesson: Payback is a Bitch.*****Sunset Strip (a tale from the Tome of Bill) is 60k words of paranormal fantasy with attitude by Rick Gualtieri, author of Bill The Vampire and Holier Than Thou.
The Day My Mommy QUIT!
Kally Mayer - 2013
Funny Rhyming Picture Book for Beginner ReadersSuitable for ages 2-8Beautifully Illustrated Story that will have both parents and children laughing out loud!Find out what happened to this family when Mom gets fed up and decides to stop doing all the chores.How will the family cope when they are so used to Mom doing so much for them?What happens next is hilarious, but also includes a valuable lesson for the entire family, even the cat and dog!What would you do if your Mommy quit on you?You and your children will love how the family resolves the issue in this adorable and humorous tale.
Aaron Reynolds - 2013
It's difficult to fit in when plant eaters can be so cruel--just because you ate a relative of theirs that one time! What's a carnivore to do? Aaron Reynolds's roaringly funny text is perfectly paired with Dan Santat's dynamic illustrations, creating a toothsome picture book that's sure to stand out from the herd.
The Iggy Chronicles, Volume One
Spencer Quinn - 2013
Parsons knocks on Bernie’s door to say that Iggy has vanished. In the search for Iggy, Chet and Bernie find Mrs. Parsons unconscious on her bedroom floor, in need of urgent medical care. But it’s only when they arrive at the hospital that things get really interesting. With a jewel thief making short work of hospital patients’ valuables, it seems that Iggy is not alone in disappearing right out from under somebody’s nose. Suspects are plentiful and witnesses are few. But when little Iggy reappears, tail wagging, it turns out he holds the key to solving the entire affair. In addition to a clever caper and the return of much beloved characters, this gem of a short story is a testament to the enduring power of friendship in all its forms: neighbor to neighbor, man to dog, dog to dog. Here is a treat you’ll devour in one sitting—rather like Chet with a juicy steak that’s been momentarily left unattended!
Off the Leash: The Secret Life of Dogs
Rupert Fawcett - 2013
This books brings together the very best of those cartoons, featuring the secret thoughts and conversations of dogs of every size, shape and breed. The cartoons appeal to all sorts of people, from passionate dog lovers who have eight sleeping on their bed at night, to people who don't have any pets at all, but can still identify with the characteristics. Let's face it, who doesn't like to be fed, have their tummy stroked and snooze on the sofa in the afternoon? A celebration of our favorite belly-scratching, tail-chasing, bed-stealing canine friends.
Tea Party Rules
Ame Dyckman - 2013
And she has several strong opinions on how Tea Party must be played. Cub tries to follow her rules . . . but just how much can one bear take, even for cookies? A laugh-out-loud funny look at the required give-and-take of playtime, Tea Party Rules is an eventual friendship story that will delight grubby cubs, fancy girls, and cookie lovers everywhere.
The Watermelon Seed
Greg Pizzoli - 2013
What will he do when his greatest fear is realized? Will vines sprout out his ears? Will his skin turn pink? This crocodile has a wild imagination that kids will love. With bold color and beautiful sense of design, Greg Pizzoli's picture book debut takes this familiar childhood worry and gives us a true gem in the vein of I Want My Hat Back and Not a Box.
Fortunately, the Milk
Neil Gaiman - 2013
"I walked out of the corner shop, and heard a noise like this: t h u m m t h u m m. I looked up and saw a huge silver disc hovering in the air above Marshall Road.""Hullo," I said to myself. "That's not something you see every day. And then something odd happened."Find out just how odd things get in this hilarious New York Times bestselling story of time travel and breakfast cereal, expertly told by Newbery Medalist and bestselling author Neil Gaiman and illustrated by Skottie Young.
Archie 1000 Page Comics Digest
Archie Comics - 2013
Archie 1000 Page Comics Digest collects over 100 new and classic Archie stories, featuring the same mix of wild humor, awkward charm and genuine relatability that has kept Archie and the gang popular with kids and families for over 70 years.
The Helena Diaries: Trouble in Mudbug
Jana Deleon - 2013
You should not read this novella prior to completing Trouble in Mudbug. The novella contains major spoilers for the novel and would not make sense if read beforehand.Do you love Helena Henry?Did you wonder what she was thinking during Trouble in Mudbug, or what she was up to when she was off-page in the novel?If so, then this novella is for you. All of Helena’s thoughts and actions during Trouble in Mudbug, compiled in a diary for you to enjoy.
Hilarious, Heartwarming Heroines: Four Novels: Can You Keep a Secret?, The Undomestic Goddess, Remember Me?, Twenties Girl
Sophie Kinsella - 2013
In these four stand-alone novels, Kinsella’s charming heroines juggle work life, love life—and sometimes, even the afterlife—to heartwarming and hilarious effect. This must-have eBook bundle includes:CAN YOU KEEP A SECRET?“Move over, Bridget [Jones]! . . . Kinsella’s witty take on mundane office and family life will really make you laugh out loud.”—Evening Chronicle (UK)Emma Corrigan has a huge heart, an irrepressible spirit, and a few little secrets. Secrets from her boyfriend, secrets from her mother . . . secrets she wouldn’t share with anyone in the world. Until she spills them all to a handsome stranger on a plane, who, she later discovers, just so happens to be Jack Harper, her company’s elusive CEO—a man who now knows every humiliating detail about her.THE UNDOMESTIC GODDESS“Another charming winner from the delightful Kinsella.”—BooklistSamantha Sweeting, a workaholic attorney at a London law firm, has just made a huge, unthinkable mistake, wrecking her chance of becoming partner. Going into utter meltdown, she walks out of her office, boards a train, and ends up in the middle of nowhere. Asking for directions at a big, beautiful house, she’s mistaken for an interviewee and is offered a job as their housekeeper. And as she figures out how to turn on the oven and how to open the #@%# ironing board, she finds that this new life may be exactly what she is looking for.REMEMBER ME?“A delicious page-turner.”—USA TodayWhen twenty-eight-year-old Lexi Smart wakes up in a London hospital, she’s in for a big surprise. Having survived a car accident, Lexi has lost a big chunk of her memory—three years to be exact—and somehow she’s gone from being a twenty-five-year-old working girl to being a corporate big shot with a sleek loft, a personal assistant, and a gorgeous husband. Will she ever remember how this all came to be? And what will happen when she does?TWENTIES GIRL“Kinsella [is] a master of comic pacing and feminine wit.”—Publishers WeeklyLara Lington’s imagination seems to be in overdrive. Normal twenty-something young women don’t get visited by ghosts. Or do they? When the spirit of Lara’s great-aunt Sadie mysteriously appears, she has one request: Lara must find a missing necklace that was in Sadie’s possession for more than seventy-five years. And in their mission, these very different “twenties” girls learn some surprising truths from and about each other.BONUS: This eBook bundle also includes an excerpt from Sophie Kinsella's Wedding Night.
Brooke & Ben: Before Fate Interrupted
Kaitlyn Cross - 2013
Brooke doesn’t know it yet, but her life is about to change. Everyone has those rare, defining moments when a simple reaction, good or bad, can alter everything thereafter. And tonight, where masks hide more than faces, will be no different.Brooke & Ben: Before Fate Interrupted may not be suitable for younger readers due to its adult situations and explicit content.
Badass: Ultimate Deathmatch: Skull-Crushing True Stories of the Most Hardcore Duels, Showdowns, Fistfights, Last Stands, Suicide Charges, and Military Engagements of All Time
Ben Thompson - 2013
Moses the Black, and The Rani of Jhansi, as well as in-depth analyses of how they battled their way to victory.Featuring original artworks by top graphic artists and comic book illustrators, and Ben Thompson’s signature wry, side-splitting commentary, Badass: Ultimate Deathmatch is the history of badasses, the only way it should be written: covered in blood!
Sparkly Pens (Sparkly Pens, #1-3)
mm_coconut - 2013
Stiles leaves leaves a notebook of his at Derek's or in his car or whatevs, and Derek goes to take it to him and notices that it's filled with little hearts with Stiles+Derek, and Stiles Hale, and Derek Stilinski, and tons of doodles of little wolves.
It's Halloween, I'm Turning Green
Dan Gutman - 2013
and the gang from the My Weird School series are ready for one of their favorite holidays! It’s Halloween, and you know what that means! Candy! Costumes! More candy! What would happen if a kid ate a million hundred pounds of chocolate in one night? One thing’s for sure—when A.J. and his friends from Ella Mentry School go trick-or-treating, it will be a Halloween to remember. Bestselling author Dan Gutman brings his wacky, kid-friendly sense of humor to this all-new series of holiday adventures. With hilarious illustrations by Jim Paillot, plus My Weird School trivia and Halloween-themed games, facts, and puzzles, this is one weird Halloween special you don’t want to miss!
Tequila Mockingbird: Cocktails with a Literary Twist
Tim Federle - 2013
You fought through War and Peace, burned through Fahrenheit 451, and sailed through Moby-Dick. All right, you nearly drowned in Moby-Dick, but you made it to shore—and you deserve a drink!A fun gift for barflies and a terrific treat for book clubs, Tequila Mockingbird is the ultimate cocktail book for the literary obsessed. Featuring 65 delicious drink recipes—paired with wry commentary on history's most beloved novels—the book also includes bar bites, drinking games, and whimsical illustrations throughout.Even if you don't have a B.A. in English, tonight you're gonna drink like you do. Drinks include:- The Pitcher of Dorian Grey Goose- The Last of the Mojitos- Love in the Time of Kahlua- Romeo and Julep- A Rum of One’s Own- Are You There, God? It’s Me, Margarita- Vermouth the Bell Tollsand more!
Andrew Smith - 2013
He’s living in Opportunity Hall, the dorm for troublemakers, and rooming with the biggest bully on the rugby team. And he’s madly in love with his best friend Annie, who thinks of him as a little boy.With the help of his sense of humor, rugby buddies, and his penchant for doodling comics, Ryan Dean manages to survive life’s complications and even find some happiness along the way. But when the unthinkable happens, he has to figure out how to hold on to what’s important, even when it feels like everything has fallen apart.Filled with hand-drawn info-graphics and illustrations and told in a pitch-perfect voice, this realistic depiction of a teen’s experience strikes an exceptional balance of hilarious and heartbreaking.
A Letter to My Cat: Notes to Our Best Friends
Lisa Erspamer - 2013
But as with all pets, they have unique personalities and stories to tell. Alongside beautiful four-color photos of their cats, A Letter to My Cat collects personal letters from celebrities offering love and gratitude for all that their cats bring to their lives.
Why Grizzly Bears Should Wear Underpants
Matthew Inman - 2013
Classics from the website, including “Dear Sriracha Rooster Sauce,” “What It Means When You Say Literally,” and “What We Should Have Been Taught in Our Senior Year of High School,” are featured alongside never-before-seen works of epic hilarity that will delight veteran and newbie Oatmeal fans alike.Matthew Inman’s first collection of The Oatmeal.com spent six weeks on the New York Times bestseller list and sold 200,000 copies. This pivotal and influential comic collection titled 5 Very Good Reasons to Punch a Dolphin in the Mouth introduced Samurai sword-wielding kittens and informed us on how to tell if a velociraptor is having pre-marital sex. Matthew's cat-themed collection How to Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting to Kill You is a #1 New York Times bestseller and has sold over 350,000 copies. Now with Why Grizzly Bears Should Wear Underpants, Inman offers a delicious, tantalizing follow-up featuring all new material that has been posted on the site since the publication of the first book plus never-before-seen comics that have not appeared anywhere. As with every Oatmeal collection, there is a pull-out poster at the back of the book.In this second collection of over 50 comics, you'll be treated to the hilarity of "The Crap We Put Up with Getting On and Off an Airplane," "Why Captain Higgins Is My Favorite Parasitic Flatworm," "This Is How I Feel about Buying Apps," "6 Things You Really Don't Need to Take a Photo of," and much more. Along with lambasting the latest culture crazes, Inman serves up recurrent themes such as foodstuffs, holidays, e-mail, as well as technological, news-of-the-day, and his snarky yet informative comics on grammar and usage. Online and in print, The Oatmeal delivers brilliant, irreverent comic hilarity.
Think Happy, Be Happy: Art, Inspiration, Joy
Workman Publishing - 2013
This dynamic illustrated book is brimming over with encouragement and wisdom and delivered with a fresh, modern twist. Pairing quotes with original graphic art that brings the words to life, Think Happy, Be Happy is a gallery of beauty and cheer inspired by the letterpress and screenprint art that’s hot on Etsy and pinned and re-pinned by Pinterest’s millions of fans.The artwork is by more than twenty popular illustrators and designers, who transform simple but smart mottoes—from the contemplative “Find beauty in rain” to the upbeat “I make my own sunshine!” to the empowering “Don’t shush your inner voice. It’s who you are” to the joyful “Live every day like it’s your birthday”—into bold and visually dynamic statements. This book is a delightful pick-me-up that can be read over and over again and bring comfort and affirmation every time.Paired randomly throughout is unexpected, complementary text—themed play-lists, top-ten lists, and simple recipes. Because what’s better to lift the spirits than a Watermelon Mint Ice Pop?
How To Be Dead
Dave Turner - 2013
He’s in love with his work colleague Melanie and his only friend Gary is a conspiracy theory nut. His life is going nowhere until he has a Near Death Experience - though Death thinks of it as a Near Dave Experience. He discovers gifts he never knew he possessed and a world he never dreamed existed. A world where the Grim Reaper is a hard drinking, grumpy Billy Joel fan and the undead are bored, lonely and dangerous. How To Be Dead is the first part in a three novella series that tells the story of Death and his office staff protecting humanity from ghosts, zombies, vampires and medium-sized apocalypses. After a nice cup of tea and a biscuit.
Uncle John's Perpetually Pleasing Bathroom Reader (Uncle John's Bathroom Reader, #26)
Bathroom Readers' Institute - 2013
Open up to any page and you may find an interesting origin (like the origin of the snowglobe) or a piece of obscure history (like the true story of the man who tried to repeal the law of gravity). You’ll also find weird news, urban legends, brain teasers, classic riddles, bizarre headlines, and of course, the incredible factoids at the bottom of each page. Here are a few of the perpetually pleasing articles awaiting you: * The Lamest Excuses of All Time* How to Survive on…Roadkill* Astronauts Who Got Kicked Out of Space* The Woman Who Was Her Own Twin* Foiled by Technology: Dumb Crooks Edition* The History of the Teleprompter, the Police Car, and the Fly Swatter* “Jogging Makes You Dumber,” and Other Real Study Results* The Lost Fortune of Abraham Lincoln* Boxing LingoAnd much, much more!!
The Tenth Dark Lord a' Leaping
Angie Fox - 2013
But some Christmas wishes aren’t meant to come true. The fun is over before it starts when Lizzie’s biker-witch grandmother and her coven show up in need of help—they have only a few short hours to rescue a loved one from a soul-eating demon. Can a rag-tag team of biker grandmas, paranormal misfits, and one seriously badass demon slayer save the day and manage to have a merry Christmas too?The Tenth Dark Lord a’ Leaping is a sexy, whimsical, laugh-out-loud romp from New York Times bestselling author Angie Fox.
More Things In Heaven and Earth
Jeff High - 2013
But to pay back his student loans and to fulfill a promise from his past, he heads for Watervalley, Tennessee–and immediately stumbles into one disaster after another. He expects the people of Watervalley to be simple, but finds his relationships with them complicated, whether he’s interacting with his bossy but devout housekeeper, the attractive schoolteacher he consistently alienates, or the mysterious kid next door who climbs trees while wearing a bike helmet.When a baffling flu epidemic hits Watervalley, Luke faces his ultimate test. Whether the community embraces him or not, it’s his responsibility to save them, And he’ll soon discover that while living in a small town may not be what he wants, it may be just what he needs.
Sock Monkey Treasury: A "Tony Millionaire's Sock Monkey" Collection
Tony Millionaire - 2013
Now, for the first time, all twelve of multiple Eisner Award-winner Tony Millionaire s acclaimed Sock Monkey all-ages comic books (1998-2007, originally published by Dark Horse Comics) are collected under one cover, as well as the full-color graphic novella Uncle Gabby (2004) and the full-color illustrated storybook, The Glass Doorknob (2002), ready to be devoured by a new generation of young readers. The precocious sock monkey Uncle Gabby and his innocent pal Mr. Crow are the heroes of this funny, unsettling and endearing collection. Follow them as they try to find a home for a shrunken head, play matchmakers between the bat in the doll s house and the mouse in the basement, unlock the mysteries of a glass doorknob, hunt salamanders, try to get to heaven, and much more. The book also includes the only full-length Sock Monkey graphic novel, The Inches Incident. Inches the doll was the cutest in the whole house and loved by everyone. Then one day... Inches turned EVIL! What will Mr. Crow and Uncle Gabby do? Beloved by adults and children, Sock Monkey harkens back to a time when comics actually were for kids."
A Dead Husband
Anna Celeste Burke - 2013
Jessica Huntington is hiding out from her own well-planned life, now in shambles. Her law career tanked by the Great Recession, she failed miserably as a desperate housewife in the Silicon Valley playing beat-the-clock with her 30-something hormones. In the end she put on a little baby fat, but no baby. The final blow: walking in on her husband in bed with a well-known Hollywood blond. The Rancho Mirage home where she grew up, surrounded by the beauty of the desert resort town near Palm Springs, seems the perfect place to take refuge. That is until her best friend's husband is murdered. Jessica and her friends are soon thrust into the fray stalked by scoundrels in pantyhose, stilettos, Bruno Magli shoes, and Armani suits. Roger Stone had something that got him killed. What was it and to what lengths will they go to get it back? This is the first in the Jessica Huntington Desert Cities Mystery Series