Twelve Steps to a Compassionate Life


Karen Armstrong - 2010
    Here, in this straightforward, thoughtful, and thought-provoking book, she sets out a program that can lead us toward a more compassionate life.The twelve steps Armstrong suggests begin with “Learn About Compassion” and close with “Love Your Enemies.” In between, she takes up “compassion for yourself,” mindfulness, suffering, sympathetic joy, the limits of our knowledge of others, and “concern for everybody.” She suggests concrete ways of enhancing our compassion and putting it into action in our everyday lives, and provides, as well, a reading list to encourage us to “hear one another’s narratives.” Throughout, Armstrong makes clear that a compassionate life is not a matter of only heart or mind but a deliberate and often life-altering commingling of the two.From the Hardcover edition.

The Art of Conversation: Change Your Life with Confident Communication


Judy Apps - 2014
    Why is it some of us are stuck for words, but others blabber or can't stop? What is it that some people have naturally which enables them to converse comfortably and easily, to engage people and build better relationships?"The Art of Conversation "will show you step by step how to converse skillfully and enjoyably with other people, at home, at work, on the phone and in the street- even if you're daunted now, discover the difference good conversation can make in every aspect of your life. Learn to:-Overcome the most common block to good conversation- fear; find out how to break the silence and keep the conversation going- Understand the different types of conversation and how they work- which topics and language are suitable for the occasion- Learn simple methods for being heard and understood, including speaking clearly and audibly, listening well and using non-verbal communication- Find out how to hold a conversation in tricky situations, including how to disagree, how to speak to those in authority and people you find difficult-Use conversation to form relationships, improve friendships, make the sale, chat people up, to learn, influence and persuade.TABLE OF CONTENTSINTRO 1. INTRODUCING CONVERSATION1. Normal and everyday2. The key to many doors3. What this book is and isn't1. THE DANCE OF CONVERSATION1. The dance of conversation2. A subtle human art3. The traditional 'conversationalist'4. What's conversation for?2. CONNECTING IS WHAT MATTERS MOST1. Conversational DrainsEnthuso-boreRobo-choreEcho-boreThe Ego-boreQueen of GossipMoaning Micky and Minnie2. Finding common groundFavourite objects of attention3. Non-verbal connectionBody languageVoice tone4. Energetic connection5. FlexibilityDealing with 'drains'3. GETTING IN THE RIGHT STATE1. Looking at lack of ease2. Managing your state3. Breathe4. Move5. Collecting positive states6. Staying present and aware7. Focusing outside yourself8. Dealing with silence9. Curiosity10. Trusting yourself and others4. GETTING A CONVERSATION GOING - THE BASICS1. Breaking the silence2. Make a comment3. Float in a simple question4. Try a comment followed by a question5. Introduce yourself positively6. Keeping the Conversation Going7. Adding a little extra8. Taking it gently9. Open questions10. Stories11. Dropping conversational clues - and picking them up5. LISTENING1. How well do you listen1. What can happen instead of listening2. Rehearsing your own piece3. Daydreaming4. Pretending to listen5. Non-listening6. Filtering the communication7. Judgement8. Playing the psychiatrist9. Reassuring or diverting2. How to listen well3. Show that you're listening4. Freeing yourself to listen5. Deep listening PART 2: THE POWER OF CONVERSATION6. INFLUENCING A CONVERSATION1. Know your intention2. Leading through connection3. Creating movement4. Influence can be as gentle as a story7. DIFFERENT KINDS OF CONVERSATION1. Thing Talk2. Action talkThe art of small talk3. Head TalkExchange of ideasExchange of opinionsWit4. Heart TalkEmotional supportIntimate conversationRisk taking5. Transparent/Inward/Intimate TalkPresence in Aikido6. Generative Talk/Soul Talk7. Progressing through talk-types8. EXPRESSING YOURSELF1. Expressing you - voiceBe understood Speak with flow Getting rid of useless fillers Expressing interest and sounding interesting2. Expressing you - body language3. Expressing you - your emotionsInfluencing with your emotions4. Expressing the real you5. Dancing with languageFinding a common language Playtime with language Negative language Language Habits Big effect of small words Language of Influence? PART 3: CONVERSATION IN PRACTICE9. SAILING THROUGH TRICKY WATERS1. What to do if you're stuckStop faking it Slowing down Be careful what you ask Know which "rules" you're playing Being flexibile2. Oiling the wheelsComment on what you've already heard Offer a prompt Encouraging nods and grunts3. Spotting the Games People PlayThe status game The manipulation game Role playing Naming the game4. Enjoying disagreement5. ConfrontationsHandling feelings with skill Checking your assumptions Assertive method/Taking the initiative/What to say10. CONVERSATIONS IN A PROFESSIONAL CONTEXT1. Conversations in the workplaceRole playing Small talk at work Negative small talk Meetings, Jousts and Debates Facilitating Group Conversations skilfully/Meaningful conversationsConversational style - Coaching style rather than control/command2. NetworkingBeing the best of you - as written at beg. Of chapter. - Clear/honest Giving and taking Probing questions Abundance Error! Bookmark notdefined.Avoiding the networking nerd - and avoiding being one! Seizing the day Moving on3. Job InterviewsCreating a conversation Busting the men/women myths4. Conversations in the mediaStage-crafted conversations /Most media interviews pre-plannedDesire for black/white Confrontations Media chat If you want something fresh and new, you need time Time factors - no time for conversation to grow Fine media interviews that are conversations Genuine interactions Conversational style solos5. Conversations to create personal changeKey Points Coaching and counselling conversations Building advanced questioning skills Using deep listening skills Bus-stop break-throughs PART 4: CONVERSATIONS CHANGING THE WORLD/ BIG CONVERSATIONS1. Conversations to Change the WorldNegotiation High level conversations2. &am

Motivational Interviewing: Preparing People for Change


William R. Miller - 1991
    William R. Miller and Stephen Rollnick explain current thinking on the process of behavior change, present the principles of MI, and provide detailed guidelines for putting it into practice. Case examples illustrate key points and demonstrate the benefits of MI in addictions treatment and other clinical contexts. The authors also discuss the process of learning MI. The volume’s final section brings together an array of leading MI practitioners to present their work in diverse settings.

Unwasted: My Lush Sobriety


Sacha Zimmerman Scoblic - 2011
    . .the cold beer on a hot day. . .the champagne flute raised in a toast. . . what I'd drink if Hunter S. Thompson wanted to get wasted with me. . .these are my fantasies lately. Too bad I've gone sober.When Sacha Z. Scoblic was drinking, she was a rock star; the days were rough and the nights filled with laughter and blackouts. Then she gave it up. She had to. Here are her adventures in an utterly and maddeningly sober world. . .and how she discovered that nothing is as odd and fantastic as life without a drink in hand. . ."Wildly entertaining. . .An unabashed account of getting clean and getting a life." --Steve GengSacha Z. Scoblic is a writer living in Washington, D.C. A former editor at The New Republic and Reader's Digest, she has written about everything from space camp to pulp fiction and was a contributor to The New York Times's online series "Proof: Alcohol and American Life." She currently blogs about addiction at TheFasterTimes.com. Her sobriety date is June 15, 2005.

Say What You Mean: A Mindful Approach to Nonviolent Communication


Oren Jay Sofer - 2018
    Here's a proven method that makes it not only considerably easier, but also much more effective for people on both sides of the conversation. Oren Sofer's method for effective communication is a unique combination of mindfulness with the modality called nonviolent communication (NVC), a method popular since the 1960s that is based on the belief that all human beings have the capacity for compassion and resort to violence or behavior that harms others only when they don't recognize more effective strategies for meeting needs. NVC provides those peaceful strategies. Oren's unique method for fostering peaceful--and effective--communication has three "steps" or components: (1) presence: bringing mindful awareness to the interaction, (2) intention: clarifying and setting a goal for the interaction, and (3) attention: learning to really hear and understand in a way that enables you to navigate the difficulties, express yourself clearly, and listen like it really matters--which it most certainly does. The steps are accompanied by many practical exercises, and in the course of this three-part training, readers will learn how to apply these skills to personal and social relationships with romantic partners, friends, colleagues, and family.

Law of Connection: The Science of Using NLP to Create Ideal Personal and Professional Relationships


Michael J. Losier - 2009
    It's called Law of Connection. Make it work for you! Are there certain people you cannot seem to communicate with--at home, at work, or in your community? You say one thing, they hear something different. You simply do not understand one another, and you cannot explain why. The only thing you are certain of is that the lack of connection leads to disappointment, frustration, and conflict. Now in LAW OF CONNECTION, Michael J. Losier gives you the key to successful communication. Using the principles of Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), you will soon master the few simple skills needed to create better understanding with people in every aspect of your life. With tips, tools, exercises, and scripts to guide you, you will discover:--the three conditions for connecting--techniques for calibrating your conversations--four easy methods for effective communication--tips for creating positive rapport in all kinds of situations --a special section for teachers, trainers, and anyone who makes group presentations.Bring LAW OF CONNECTION home to your family and introduce it into your workplace. Watch and listen as communication improves wherever you are, and your relationships become fuller, richer, and free of conflict.

Love Is a Choice: The Definitive Book on Letting Go of Unhealthy Relationships


Robert Hemfelt - 1989
    Humans are susceptible to codependency because of our sinful tendency to use defense mechanisms to fool ourselves. In codependent relationships, deceitful games are played, and important Christian principles are often taken out of context and abused. God wants us to have healthy relationships with a balance between being dependent and independent. The doctors describe how the most effective means of overcoming codependent relationships is to establish or deepen a relationship with Christ Himself. They describe the causes of codependency, pointing out the factors that perpetuate it, and lead readers through their ten stages of recovery.

Fierce Conversations: Achieving Success at Work and in Life One Conversation at a Time


Susan Scott - 2002
     The master teacher of positive change through powerful communication, Susan Scott wants her readers to succeed. To do that, she explains, one must transform everyday conversations employing effective ways to get the message across. In this guide, which includes exercises and tools to take you step by step through the Seven Principles of Fierce Conversations, Scott teaches readers how to: * Overcome barriers to meaningful communication * Expand and enrich conversations with colleagues, friends, and family * Increase clarity and improve understanding * Handle strong emotions-on both sides of the table

Since Strangling Isn't an Option...: Dealing with Difficult People--Common Problems and Uncommon Solutions


Sandra A. Crowe - 1999
    Readers will learn why dealing with a difficult person doesn't have to ruin their day, the habits that cause conflict, and the techniques that can turn things around. It also gives readers insight into their own power in shaping relationships, and specific advice for handling different personality types. There really is a better way!

Mindful Loving: 10 Practices for Creating Deeper Connections


Henry Grayson - 2003
    Henry Grayson shares his breakthrough techniques for creating deeper and more lasting connections with our loved ones. Henry Grayson, a psychologist, relationship counselor, psychoanalyst, and former minister who has been working with couples and individuals to improve their relationships for more than thirty years, has found that most people are actually more unhappy after marriage counseling or couples therapy. In Mindful Loving he sets aside the traditional methods of therapy to show you how to look at your relationships from a completely different perspective. By getting to the root of our relationship problems, Grayson creates a whole new framework in which to view intimacy-- one where psychology, spirituality, and science meet. He shows you how to:Break the vicious cycles of interaction that trap you in patterns of resentment and isolationIdentify the six forms of counterfeit "love" and nine barriers to lovePractice ten characteristics of Empowering LoveCreate a spiritual marriage rather than an ego-based oneFilled with techniques, exercises, meditations, and inspiring case studies, here is an indispensable guide to creating healthy and fulfilling relationships that is destined to become a classic in the field.

Urban Tantra: Sacred Sex for the Twenty-First Century


Barbara Carrellas - 2005
    With a juicy mix of erotic how-to and pleasure-centered spiritual wisdom, acclaimed sex educator Barbara Carrellas radically updates the ancient practice of Tantra for modern sexual explorers desiring to push past their edge in search of the great cosmic orgasm.With more than one hundred easy-to-follow techniques for expanded orgasmic states and solo and partner play (as well as more adventurous practices), this in-depth guide reveals the delicious worlds of ecstasy available to all, including:The Erotic Awakening Massage • Breath and Energy Orgasms • Twenty-Minute Tantra Evolutionary Selfloving • Sex and Healing • Tantric BDSMNo matter what your gender, sexual preference, or erotic tastes, URBAN TANTRA will expand your notions about pleasure and open you up to new heights of intimacy and sexual fulfillment.

Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals


Oliver Burkeman - 2021
    Assuming you live to be eighty, you have just over four thousand weeks.Nobody needs telling there isn’t enough time. We’re obsessed with our lengthening to-do lists, our overfilled inboxes, work-life balance, and the ceaseless battle against distraction; and we’re deluged with advice on becoming more productive and efficient, and “life hacks” to optimize our days. But such techniques often end up making things worse. The sense of anxious hurry grows more intense, and still the most meaningful parts of life seem to lie just beyond the horizon. Still, we rarely make the connection between our daily struggles with time and the ultimate time management problem: the challenge of how best to use our four thousand weeks.Drawing on the insights of both ancient and contemporary philosophers, psychologists, and spiritual teachers, Oliver Burkeman delivers an entertaining, humorous, practical, and ultimately profound guide to time and time management. Rejecting the futile modern fixation on “getting everything done,” Four Thousand Weeks introduces readers to tools for constructing a meaningful life by embracing finitude, showing how many of the unhelpful ways we’ve come to think about time aren’t inescapable, unchanging truths, but choices we’ve made as individuals and as a society—and that we could do things differently.

The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma


Bessel van der Kolk - 2014
    Veterans and their families deal with the painful aftermath of combat; one in five Americans has been molested; one in four grew up with alcoholics; one in three couples have engaged in physical violence. Such experiences inevitably leave traces on minds, emotions, and even on biology. Sadly, trauma sufferers frequently pass on their stress to their partners and children. Renowned trauma expert Bessel van der Kolk has spent over three decades working with survivors. In The Body Keeps the Score, he transforms our understanding of traumatic stress, revealing how it literally rearranges the brain’s wiring—specifically areas dedicated to pleasure, engagement, control, and trust. He shows how these areas can be reactivated through innovative treatments including neurofeedback, mindfulness techniques, play, yoga, and other therapies. Based on Dr. van der Kolk’s own research and that of other leading specialists, The Body Keeps the Score offers proven alternatives to drugs and talk therapy—and a way to reclaim lives.

Food Addiction: The Body Knows


Kay Sheppard - 1989
    Now it is updated and presented in a revised and expanded edition, with a new chapter on relapse. For a food addict, relapse is an ever present danger which begins in the mind before reaching for that cupcake or other trigger food. Here food addiction is defined, trigger foods are identified and consequences of food addiction are revealed. A lifetime eating plan demonstrating how to stick with a healthful food plan for the long term is also provided. "For some people, foods can be as addictive as alcohol," Kay Sheppard explains. "Gummy bears and marshmallow chicks can be vicious killers whose effects can lead to depression, irritability and even suicide. The terrible truth is that for certain individuals, refined carbohydrates can trigger the addictive process. This book is an effort to help you understand and solve the problems of compulsive eating."

Start Where You Are: A Journal for Self-Exploration


Meera Lee Patel - 2015
    It helps readers navigate the confusion and chaos of daily life with a simple reminder: that by taking the time to know ourselves and what those dreams are, we can appreciate the world around us and achieve our dreams.Featuring vibrant hand-lettering and images that have attracted a large following for her stationery and textile line in boutiques across the country, Meera Lee Patel's uplifting book presents supportive prompts and exercises along with inspirational quotes to encourage reflection through writing, drawing, chart-making, and more.Featuring inspiring quotes from writers, artists, and other visionaries paired with open-ended questions and prompts, with plenty of room for writing and reflecting, this appealing full-color book will make a perfect gift and keepsake as well as being a powerful tool for positive change.