(or Ms.) Wrong and Make You a Better Partner) brought lots of readers to JebKinnison.com, where the most asked-about topic was dealing with avoidant lovers and spouses. There are many readers in troubled marriages now who are looking for help, as well as people already invested in a relationship short of marriage who’d like help deciding if they should stick with it. The reason why there is so much interest is the large number of people in relationships with Avoidants who struggle with their lack of responsiveness and inability to tolerate real intimacy. Relationships between an Avoidant and a partner of another attachment type are the largest group of unhappy relationships, and people who love their partners and who may have started families and had children with an Avoidant will work very hard to try to make their relationships work better, out of love for their partner and children as well as their own happiness. And it’s also true that the Avoidants in these relationships are more than likely unhappy with the situation as well—retreating into their shells and feeling harassed for being asked to respond with positive feeling when they have little to give. The other reason why so many people are looking for help on this topic is that it is an almost impossible problem. Couples counsellors rarely have the time or knowledge to work with an Avoidant and will often advise the spouse to give up on a Dismissive, especially, whose lack of responsiveness looks like cruelty or contempt (and sometimes it is!) Yet there is some hope—though it may take years and require educating the Avoidant on the patterns of good couples communication, if both partners want to change their patterns toward more secure and satisfying models, it can be done. How can you tell if your partner is avoidant? Does your partner: • Seem not to care how you feel? • Frequently fail to respond to direct questions or text messages? • Accuse you of being too needy or codependent? • Talk of some past lover as ideal and compare you to them? • Act coldly toward your children and the needy? • Remind you that he or she would be fine without you? • Withhold sex or affection as punishment? If that sounds familiar, then your partner is likely avoidant. At about 25% of the population, Avoidants have shorter, more troubled relationships, and tend to divorce more frequently and divorce again if remarried. What can be done? Individual therapy for the motivated Avoidant can move their default attachment style toward security, and to the extent that problems have been made worse by an overly clingy and demanding anxious-preoccupied partner, therapy can help there, as well. Insecure partners who read and absorb the lessons of these books will have a head start on noticing and restraining themselves when they are slipping into an unsatisfying communications pattern, and an intellectual understanding of the bad patterns is a step toward unlearning them. Not all difficult Avoidants can be reformed; that depends on both partners, the depth of their problems, and their motivation and ability to change over time. But many troubled marriages and relationships can be greatly improved, and the people in them can learn to be happier, with even modest improvements in understanding how they can best communicate support for each other. For those reading who have not read Bad Boyfriends or are less familiar with attachment types, a beefed-up section on attachment theory and attachment types from Bad Boyfriends is included. Regular readers of JebKinnison.com will find edited versions of some relevant material previously posted there.

    He was a successful athlete and businessman, achieving goals beyond his wildest dreams, but he felt empty, angry, frustrated, and always chasing something that was never enough. His whole identity had been built on misguided beliefs about what "masculinity" was.Howes began a personal journey to find inner peace and to uncover the many masks that men – young and old – wear. In The Mask of Masculinity, Howes exposes the ultimate emptiness of the Material Mask, the man who chases wealth above all things; the cowering vulnerability that hides behind the Joker and Stoic Masks of men who never show real emotion; and the destructiveness of the Invincible and Aggressive Masks worn by men who take insane risks or can never back down from a fight. He teaches men how to break through the walls that hold them back and shows women how they can better understand the men in their lives. It's not easy, but if you want to love, be loved and live a great life, then it's an odyssey of self-discovery that all modern men must make. This book is a must-read for every man – and for every woman who loves a man.

    Nathaniel Branden, licensed psychotherapist, lecturer, corporate consultant, and the bestselling author of twenty books including The Psychology of Self-Esteem; The Six Pillars of Self Esteem; and The Art of Living Consciously, explores the nature of romantic love on many levels the philosophical, the historical, the sociological, and the psychological. In The Psychology of Romantic Love, Dr. Branden explores why so many people believe that romantic love is just not possible in today's world. Drawing on his experience with thousands of couples, Dr. Branden finds that romantic love is still possible for anyone who understands its nature and is willing to accept its challenges. Love, according to Dr. Branden, is a pathway not only to extraordinary joy but also to profound self-discovery.

    Whether it's our spouse, co-worker or neighbour, something about the relationship just rubs us up the wrong way, and though our natural instinct is to blame the other person, that can just make things worse.In Feeling Good Together, renowned US psychiatrist Dr David Burns applies his successful method of cognitive interpersonal therapy to teach us how to take control of our relationships.Building on the principles that he first introduced in Feeling Good, Burns offers innovative techniques designed to improve communication skills and shows us how to cope with different personality types, such as the big ego, the jealous type, the stubborn mule and the critic, and reveals the five secrets of effective communication.This groundbreaking book will identify the behaviours that are sabotaging your relationships and give you the tools to change.

    Love: The Psychology of Attraction offers answers to your burning questions: How should I present myself online? What are red flags in a first phone call? Is it time to meet family members? And, it answers some unexpected questions, too: Is chemistry predictable? Do I have a "lifestyle type"?With every quiz, assessment, and inviting infographic, Love: The Psychology of Attraction guides you toward deeper, more satisfying relationships that can lead to long-term fulfillment.Author Bio:Dr. Leslie Becker-Phelps is a clinical psychologist, author, and speaker. She is a regular contributor to the Relationships blog for WebMD, as well as the Making Changes blog for Psychology Today, and is the author of Insecure in Love. She lives in New Jersey, where she is on the medical staff of the Robert Wood Johnson University Hospital-Somerset. She also runs a private practice dedicated to helping individuals and couples feel better about themselves in all aspects of their lives. She lives in Basking Ridge, New Jersey.Reviews:"Interactive exercises guide couples onto the road to harmony, and sensible advice will take them even closer to an ideal relationship." - Publishers Weekly"Charts, diagrams, and illustrations permeate the text, creating a compelling, easy-to-follow read. This is one of the most straightforward guides to dating available." - Library Journal (Starred Review)

    By that I mean: Your knowledge: everything that comes from all the books that I’ll encourage you to devour.Your network: the collection of friends and contacts you now have, which I’ll teach you how to grow and nurture.Your compassion: that human warmth you already possess—in these pages I’ll convince you that you can show it freely at the office.What happens when you do all this?* You become a rich source of information to all around you.* You are seen as a person with valuable insight.* You are perceived as generous to a fault, producing surprise and delight.* You double your business intelligence in one year.* You triple your network of personal relationships in two years.* You quadruple the number of colleagues in your life who love you like family.In short, you become one of those amazing, outstanding people to whom everyone turns, who leads rather than follows, who never runs out of ideas, contacts, or friendship.Here’s the real scoop: Nice guys don’t finish last. They rule!From the Hardcover edition.

    Therapist Robin Norwood describes loving too much as a pattern of thoughts and behaviour which certain women develop as a response to problems from childhood.

    He addresses the devastating effects of remote fathers and mourns the disappearance of male initiation rites in our culture. Finding rich meaning in ancient stories and legends, Bly uses the Grimm fairy tale "Iron John," in which the narrator, or "Wild Man," guides a young man through eight stages of male growth, to remind us of archetypes long forgotten-images of vigorous masculinity, both protective and emotionally centered.Simultaneously poetic and down-to-earth, combining the grandeur of myth with the practical and often painful lessons of our own histories, Iron John is a rare work that will continue to guide and inspire men-and women-for years to come.

    With a new preface by the author, this updated edition explores the ways we can keep passion alive and even reach the height of sexual and emotional fulfillment later in life. David Schnarch accompanies his inspirational message of attaining long-term happiness with proven techniques developed in worldwide workshops to help couples develop greater intimacy. Chapters provide the scaffolding for overcoming sexual and emotional roadblocks— from evaluating personal expectations to laying the groundwork for keeping the sparks alive years down the road, and everything in between. This book is sure to help couples overcome hurdles in their relationships and reach the fullest potential in their love lives.

    After Jancee Dunn had her baby, she found that she was doing virtually all the household chores, even though she and her husband worked equal hours. She asked herself: How did I become the 'expert' at changing a diaper? Many expectant parents spend weeks researching the best crib or safest car seat, but spend little if any time thinking about the titanic impact the baby will have on their marriage - and the way their marriage will affect their child. Enter Dunn, her well-meaning but blithely unhelpful husband, their daughter, and her boisterous extended family, who show us the ways in which outmoded family patterns and traditions thwart the overworked, overloaded parents of today. On the brink of marital Armageddon, Dunn plunges into the latest relationship research, solicits the counsel of the country's most renowned couples' and sex therapists, canvasses fellow parents, and even consults an FBI hostage negotiator on how to effectively contain an "explosive situation." Instead of having the same fights over and over, Dunn and her husband must figure out a way to resolve their larger issues and fix their family while there is still time. As they discover, adding a demanding new person to your relationship means you have to reevaluate -- and rebuild -- your marriage. In an exhilarating twist, they work together to save the day, happily returning to the kind of peaceful life they previously thought was the sole province of couples without children. Part memoir, part self-help book with actionable and achievable advice, How Not To Hate Your Husband After Kids is an eye-opening look at how the man who got you into this position in this first place is the ally you didn't know you had.

    AMS is getting men back to the basics to attract the quality of women they genuinely want to attract and to stop settling for scraps. There’s a theory commonly known in the dating world as the 80/20 rule that states 20 % Of Men Sleep With 80% Of the women in the world while the other 80% of men fight over the last 20% of women. I don’t want men to complain about this, I want men to do the self improvement to put themselves in the top 20%. No PUA magic tricks or Dating coach snake oil magic formula here. It’s all about doing the hard work to make yourself a more attractive  mate to attract the women you want

    All that mystery, all that poetry, all those complex behaviors sur­rounding human bonding leading to the most life-changing decisions we’ll ever make, are unconsciously driven by a few molecules in our brain. How does love begin? How can two strangers come to the conclusion that it would not only be pleasant to share their lives, but that they must share them? How can a man say he loves his wife, yet still cheat on her? Why do others stay in relationships even after the ro­mance fades? How is it possible to fall in love with the “wrong” person? How do people come to have a “type”? Physical attraction, jealousy, infidelity, mother-infant bonding—all the behaviors that so often leave us befuddled—are now being teased out of the fog of mystery thanks to today’s social neuroscience. Larry Young, one of the world’s leading experts in the field, and journalist Brian Alexander explain how those findings apply to you. Drawing on real human stories and research from labs around the world, The Chemistry Between Us is a bold attempt to create a “grand unified theory” of love. Some of the mind-blowing insights include:Love can get such a grip on us because it is, literally, an addiction. To a woman falling in love, a man is like her baby. Why it’s false to say society makes gender, and how it’s possible to have the body of one gender and the brain of another.Why some people are more likely to cheat than others. Why we sometimes truly can’t resist temptation.  Young and Alexander place their revelations into historical, political, and social contexts. In the pro­cess, they touch on everything from gay marriage to why single-mother households might not be good for society. The Chemistry Between Us offers powerful in­sights into love, sex, gender, sexual orientation, and family life that will prove to be enlightening, contro­versial, and thought provoking.

     As an author and a coach who has been helping women for more than a decade, I noticed some women were in trouble. Not just in their relationships, some had unfulfilling jobs, didn’t get paid what they were worth, had always dreamt of starting their own business but never did, felt lonely even though they had a husband and kids... the list goes on and on. So many women try to be the perfect girlfriends, wives, mothers, friends, sisters, colleagues, business owners, bosses, and more. They love to serve and want to succeed in the many roles they have to play. They are compliant, even to the people who don’t really deserve that kind of treatment. They give it all they have, every single day. Regardless of their tremendous efforts, some women get little in return. They feel used. They get men that keep flaking out, careers that don’t feel meaningful, and possibly a body that starts to feel and look more and more tired. Did you ever notice that burnout tends to afflict women much more often than men? There’s a reason for that, as you’ll learn. This should stop. Some women seem to have found a loophole, a backdoor in the current system. There are women out there who have designed the life they live. I call these women the high-value women. This value has nothing to do with money. It turns out the high-value woman follows a set of strategies and principles. I’ll share them with you throughout this book. You might have seen and met her. She’s the woman who is self-employed, doing the thing she loves, and making a living off of it. She’s the woman who might have decided to have a normal career, with a twist. It’s the type of career she enjoys and she is actually appreciated for the hard work and hours she puts into it. When she speaks, others listen, even the men in her office with overinflated egos. Her job almost never feels like work and is deeply fulfilling. It doesn’t cost her energy; she gets energy from it. When she wakes up, she can’t wait to get started with her day. She is the woman who has found and created herself a loving relationship with a man she loves. She is also the woman who is happily single, the woman who doesn’t need a man to be happy. She has a supportive circle of great friends, and she has the time to hang out with them, even when she has kids. She knows how to set the world to her hand, so it seems, and some women wonder how she does it. That’s what this book is about, I’ll uncover her strategies. I’ve been studying and interviewing her for so long now that I can’t wait to share everything with you. We’ll dive in what to do in your romantic relationships, in your career, in your personal life, and most importantly, in your own mind. I’m sure you already are a high-value woman in many ways. Some parts of the book will reaffirm that you’re on the right track; others will provide a new way of thinking to take you to the next level. Are you curious to find out how the high-value woman does it all? Then hit the buy button at the top of this page and start your high value woman journey right away!

    What if you heard he or she would be coming along soon? Would you be relieved? Excited? Happy? Well those are the feelings that dating optimism can give you. Rather than admonishing readers to make themselves more available, or turn dating into a full-time job, Spencer's program of dating optimism is a fun, results-oriented way to find a healthy happy relationship, based on brain science and psychology that can help you become a more positive dater. She'll guide you through sowing the orange seed of your ideal relationship and growing it to "fruit-ion." In essence, by focusing positively about dating, you can actually change your brain, which changes everything from your body language to the way you perceive others and what you ultimately attract. Meeting Your Half-Orange is the pep talk that puts finding true love back into your own hands. It will guide you toward becoming so focused on the relationship you want and so happy in your own skin, the right person will be naturally drawn straight to you. You've never read a dating guide like this before. But best of all, it will be the last one you'll ever need.

    Now in paperback, this follow-up to his bestselling How to Make Someone Like You in 90 Seconds or Less is updated throughout with information on Internet dating, bringing together all of Mr. Boothman's considerable interpersonal skills to the problem of finding lasting love, fast. And it works: The feedback Boothman has received from a number of his clients begins, "Please come to my wedding. . . ." Starting with a series of revealing self-assessment tests that show how to find your Matched Opposite (a person who makes you feel complete), here is how to make a fabulous first impression, with tips on everything from attitude to accessories; how to be charming, not alarming; introductions, opening lines, and the 1-2-3 mantra of never hesitating. There are techniques for starting and maintaining conversation and for finding "Me Too" moments, plus the importance of flirting, incidental touching, rules of self-disclosure, and more. Real-life examples and analyses of actual conversations show the method at work.