Say What You Mean: A Mindful Approach to Nonviolent Communication


Oren Jay Sofer - 2018
    Here's a proven method that makes it not only considerably easier, but also much more effective for people on both sides of the conversation. Oren Sofer's method for effective communication is a unique combination of mindfulness with the modality called nonviolent communication (NVC), a method popular since the 1960s that is based on the belief that all human beings have the capacity for compassion and resort to violence or behavior that harms others only when they don't recognize more effective strategies for meeting needs. NVC provides those peaceful strategies. Oren's unique method for fostering peaceful--and effective--communication has three "steps" or components: (1) presence: bringing mindful awareness to the interaction, (2) intention: clarifying and setting a goal for the interaction, and (3) attention: learning to really hear and understand in a way that enables you to navigate the difficulties, express yourself clearly, and listen like it really matters--which it most certainly does. The steps are accompanied by many practical exercises, and in the course of this three-part training, readers will learn how to apply these skills to personal and social relationships with romantic partners, friends, colleagues, and family.

Facing Codependence: What It Is, Where It Comes from, How It Sabotages Our Lives


Pia Mellody - 1989
    Mellody sets forth five primary adult symptoms of this crippling condition, then traces their origin to emotional, spiritual, intellectual, physical and sexual abuses that occur in childhood. Central to Mellody's approach is the concept that the codependent adult's injured inner child needs healing. Recovery from codependence, therefore, involves clearing up the toxic emotions left over from these painful childhood experiences.

In a Different Voice: Psychological Theory and Women's Development


Carol Gilligan - 1982
    Published decades ago, it made women's voices heard, in their own right, with their own integrity, for virtually the 1st time in social scientific theorizing about women. Its impact was immediate & continues in the academic world & beyond. Translated into 16 languages, with over 750,000 copies sold. In a Different Voice has inspired new research, new educational initiatives & political debate--& helped many women & men to see themselves & each other in a different light. Gilligan believes that psychology has persistently & systematically misunderstood women: their motives, their moral commitments, the course of their psychological growth & their special view of what is important in life. Here she sets out to correct psychology's misperceptions & refocus its view of female personality. The result is a tour de force, which may reshape much of what psychology now has to say about female experience.AcknowledgmentsIntroductionWoman's place in man's life cycleImages of relationship Concepts of self & moralityCrisis & transition Women's rights & women's judgmentVisions of maturityReferencesIndex of Study ParticipantsGeneral Index

Care of Souls: Revisioning Christian Nurture and Counsel


David G. Benner - 1998
    Explores the church's role in soul advocating, a counselling method that anchors modern therapy in biblical principles.

Feelings Buried Alive Never Die--


Karol K. Truman - 1991
    . . the best of the best. She not only tells you why you feel the way you feel, but how these feelings all started. She then goes on to tell you how YOU can easily transform undesirable feelings so that they no longer hinder your growth. What a gift!

The Highly Sensitive Person in Love: Understanding and Managing Relationships When the World Overwhelms You


Elaine N. Aron - 1996
    And, if you are one of the 20 percent of people who are born highly sensitive, the risk of an unhappy relationship is especially high. Your finely tuned nervous system, which picks up on subtleties and reflects deeply, would be a romantic asset if both you and your partner understood you better. But without that understanding, your sensitivity is likely to be making your close relationships painful and complicated.Based on Elaine N. Aron’s groundbreaking research on temperament and intimacy, The Highly Sensitive Person in Love offers practical help for highly sensitive people seeking happier, healthier romantic relationships. From low-stress fighting to sensitive sexuality, the book offers a wealth of practical advice on making the most of all personality combinations. Complete with illuminating self-tests and the results of the first survey ever done on sex and temperament, The Highly Sensitive Person in Love will help you discover a better way of living and loving.

Try Softer: A Fresh Approach to Move Us out of Anxiety, Stress, and Survival Mode--and into a Life of Connection and Joy


Aundi Kolber - 2020
    If we’re honest, we’ve been overfunctioning for so long, we can’t even imagine another way. How else will things get done? How else will we survive?It doesn’t have to be this way.Aundi Kolber believes that we don’t have to white-knuckle our way through life. In her debut book, Try Softer, she’ll show us how God specifically designed our bodies and minds to work together to process our stories and work through obstacles. Through the latest psychology, practical clinical exercises, and her own personal story, Aundi equips and empowers us to connect us to our truest self and truly live. This is the “try softer” life.In Try Softer, you’ll learn how to: Know and set emotional and relational boundaries Make sense of the difficult experiences you’ve had Identify your attachment style—and how that affects your relationships today Move through emotions rather than get stuck by them Grow in self-compassion and talk back to your inner critic Trying softer is sacred work. And while it won’t be perfect or easy, it will be worth it. Because this is what we were made for: a living, breathing, moving, feeling, connected, beautifully incarnational life.

The Birth Order Book: Why You Are the Way You Are


Kevin Leman - 1984
    Leman offers readers a fascinating and often funny look at how birth order affects personality, marriage and relationships, parenting style, career, and children.

Sweet Poison Quit Plan


David Gillespie - 2010
    It features: * an overview of why sugar is bad and why we get addicted * a five-step plan to kicking the habit * tailored advice for men and women * a guide to sugar-free shopping (how to read the labels and what is safe/unsafe in each supermarket aisle) * recipes for sugar-free treats (think ice-cream and cakes) * advice on living sugar-free with kidsPacked with reader anecdotes and lists to help you organise your sugar-free life, this book presents one of the most accessible and achievable strategies around for losing weight and avoiding some of the more pernicious lifestyle diseases that are increasingly associated with excessive sugar consumption. Gillespie is an informed and entertaining writer who makes his subject fascinating, and inspires with his passion and logic.

Where to Draw the Line: How to Set Healthy Boundaries Every Day


Anne Katherine - 2000
    Healthy boundaries preserve our integrity. Unlike defenses, which isolate us from our true selves and from those we love, boundaries filter out harm.This book provides the tools and insights needed to create boundaries so that we can allow time and energy for the things that matter—and helps break down limiting defenses that stunt personal growth. Focusing on every facet of daily life—from friendships and sexual relationships to dress and appearance to money, food, and psychotherapy—Katherine presents case studies highlighting the ways in which individuals violate their own boundaries or let other people breach them. Using real-life examples, from self-sacrificing mothers to obsessive neat freaks, she offers specific advice on making choices that balance one’s own needs with the needs of others.Boundaries are the unseen structures that support healthy, productive lives. Where to Draw the Line shows readers how to strengthen them and hold them in place every day.

The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma


Bessel van der Kolk - 2014
    Veterans and their families deal with the painful aftermath of combat; one in five Americans has been molested; one in four grew up with alcoholics; one in three couples have engaged in physical violence. Such experiences inevitably leave traces on minds, emotions, and even on biology. Sadly, trauma sufferers frequently pass on their stress to their partners and children. Renowned trauma expert Bessel van der Kolk has spent over three decades working with survivors. In The Body Keeps the Score, he transforms our understanding of traumatic stress, revealing how it literally rearranges the brain’s wiring—specifically areas dedicated to pleasure, engagement, control, and trust. He shows how these areas can be reactivated through innovative treatments including neurofeedback, mindfulness techniques, play, yoga, and other therapies. Based on Dr. van der Kolk’s own research and that of other leading specialists, The Body Keeps the Score offers proven alternatives to drugs and talk therapy—and a way to reclaim lives.

Self-Esteem: A proven program of cognitive techniques for assessing, improving and maintaining your self-esteem


Matthew McKay - 1987
    Without some measure of self-worth, life can be enormously painful, with many basic needs going unmet.One of the main factors differentiating humans from other animals is the awareness of self: the ability to form an identity and then attach a value to it. In other words, you have the capacity to define who you are and then decide if you like that identity or not. The problem of self-esteem is this human capacity for judgment. It’s one thing to dislike certain colors, noises, shapes, or sensations. But when you reject parts of your self, you greatly damage the psycho logical structures that literally keep you alive. Judging and rejecting your self causes enormous pain.Since its first publication in 1987, Self-Esteem has become the first choice of therapists and savvy readers looking for a comprehensive, self-care approach to improving self-image, increasing personal power, and defining core values. More than 600,000 copies of this book have helped literally millions of readers feel better about themselves, achieve greater success, and enjoy their lives to the fullest.You can do it, too!

How To Kill A Narcissist: Debunking The Myth Of Narcissism And Recovering From Narcissistic Abuse


J.H. Simon - 2016
    But when you reveal its mask, you see that it is basically a lie, told to those who are vulnerable. Narcissistic abuse, by nature, is designed to keep you trapped in shame-based vertigo. It doesn't just go away because you know it exists. Narcissism creates a set of beliefs, behaviours and paradigms in its target which must be changed from the inside. 'How To Kill A Narcissist' is a book with two aims: 1. To reveal the rotten core of the narcissistic personality so you can see it clearly 2. To present you with an inside-out strategy for healing, recovery and freedom Whether you are dealing with narcissistic parents, husbands, wives, friends, bosses or colleagues, the same philosophy will apply. After reading 'How To Kill A Narcissist', you will: - Become aware of the damage narcissistic abuse has done to your psyche and how to heal it - See how the narcissist uses shame as a weapon to fool you into feeling inferior - Understand the playing field which narcissists thrive on and how to stop playing their game - Learn how the narcissist uses mind control to break down and rebuild your identity for the purpose of subjugation - Gain tools for disarming a narcissist i.e. starving them of their narcissistic supply - Have taken a closer look behind the veil of narcissistic personality disorder 'How To Kill A Narcissist' takes an enlightening look at the dynamic between a narcissist and their target. It takes you on a deep journey and describes: - How we unwittingly qualify as targets of narcissists - The shame/grandiosity continuum and how the narcissist uses it to crush your self-esteem - The law of grandiosity and how it influences our relationships with the self-absorbed - The effect that narcissism has on its target including: toxic shame, a dissociated mind and a weakened ego - The obstacles which keep you trapped in a cycle of narcissistic abuse: the psychological cage, love starvation, low shame tolerance, guilt and conditioning to shamelessness Using an inside-out approach, 'How To Kill A Narcissist' presents the seven practices for recovery and healing: 1. Get allies: Boost self-esteem through limbic resonance2. Give shape to your true self: Uncover disowned parts of the self and restore wholeness3. Skill up: Empower yourself4. Flex your muscles: Challenge the psychological cage and come out of hiding5. Even the scale: Restore balance to your relationships6. Boundaries: Foster a strong sense of self and firmly protect it7. Scorched earth: Disengage from those who wish to manipulate you Each practice is designed to instil you with independence, strength, emotional resilience and awareness while allowing you to cultivate balanced, loving relationships and pursue a life of passion. This is the art of killing a narcissist.

Sober for Good: New Solutions for Drinking Problems -- Advice from Those Who Have Succeeded


Anne M. Fletcher - 2001
    The best-selling author Anne M. Fletcher asked them a simple question: how did you do it? The result is the first completely unbiased guide for problem drinkers, one that shatters long-held assumptions about alcohol recovery.Myth: AA is the only way to get sober.Reality: More than half the people Fletcher surveyed recovered without AA.Myth: You can't get sober on your own.Reality: Many people got sober by themselves.Myth: One drink inevitably leads right back to the bottle.Reality: A small number of people find they can have an occasional drink.Myth: There's nothing you can do for someone with a drinking problem until he or she is ready.Reality: Family and friends can make a big difference if they know how to help.Weaving together the success stories of ordinary people and the latest scientific research on the subject, Fletcher uncovers a vital truth: no single path to sobriety is right for every individual. There are many ways to get sober - and stay sober. SOBER FOR GOOD is for anyone who has ever struggled not to drink, coped with someone who has a drinking problem, or secretly wondered, "Do I drink too much?"

I'm OK - You're OK


Thomas A. Harris - 1967
    “Happy childhood” notwithstanding, says Harris, most of us are living out the not ok feelings of a defenseless child wholly dependent on ok others (parents) for stroking and caring. At some stage early in our lives we adopt a “position” about ourselves which very significantly determines how we feel about ourselves, particularly in relation to other people. And for a huge portion of the population, that position is that I’m Not OK-You’re OK. This negative Life Position, shared by successful and unsuccessful people alike, contaminates our rational adult potential, leaving us vulnerable to the inappropriate, emotional reactions of our child and the uncritically learned behavior programmed into our parent. By exploring the four basic “life positions,” we can radically change our lives.