Okay yes, all that stuff too, but I'm not talking about that right now. The government has also been lying to us about space aliens. Aliens have landed on the National Mall and are asking to speak with the President of the United States. For the sake of the planet, diplomat Michael Wallenson is tasked with keeping them away from Donald Trump at all costs. Will Michael succeed? Or will these heavily armed, easily offended aliens succeed in reaching our leader? Building the border dome, coal-powered missiles, and the true identities of the men in black - all in Take Us To Your Trump, another hilarious satirical comedy from author Andrew Stanek.

    Why else would you be looking at this book? If you have ever wanted to see behind the front lines of retail, this is the book for you. If you want to validate your own experiences in retail, this is the book for you. If you just want to laugh at humorous things from funny people, this is the book for you. Packed full of true short stories from working in one of these super stores, only one conclusion can be reached in the end: Wal-Mart is the craziest place on Earth!

    Literally.A woman can sell her body also for a noble cause.Giancarlo Vestali chose his tie colour carefully as he knew what shade he would end up.A flower in a pool can make the difference between freedom and jail.Chase Williams wants to live a normal life in Tursenia, Italy. But it's not as easy as it appears.The saga of unusual crimes on which ex Scotland Yard detective Chase Williams stumbles every day continues. It's all about Chase's snooping abilities and his exceptional perceptiveness from which nothing escapes.10 detective short stories of 1000 words each, where proud prostitutes alternate with young lovers, sloppy drug dealers, hunting dogs, elderly people tired of living, amazing chefs and, as usual, Chase's neighbors who are always gossipy, fanatically religious and very nosey.10 open, shiny windows overlooking the less dramatic crime stories of Tursenia, a Medieval town in the heart of Italy, where a former detective like Chase Williams - now dedicated to living his placid office lifestyle - can get a run for his money. Anyone and everyone could be a criminal. And Chase well knows it.DISCLAIMER: Although the first volume of the Cutting Right to the Chase series is suitable to children and young adults, Cutting Right to the Chase Vol.2 is suitable for an older audience due to the graphic nature of some stories.

     A suspicious husband sets out to discover what his wife really does late at night in her shop. A man starts a new job guarding the entrance to a pier at night. An abandoned house hides a sinister – and disgusting – secret in its basement. A young girl waits for a message from her dead mother, and then she finds something stranger in the freezer. The Butcher's Husband and Other Stories features the new short stories The Butcher's Husband, Tongue, The Pier and The Butcher's Husband II, as well as revised versions of The Seagull and A Perfect Death, and a new novella titled Larry.

    The collection includes the following titles: Almost by Elizabeth Benedict, Those Who Save Us by Jenna Blum, The Hearts of Horses by Molly Gloss, The Last Chinese Chef by Nicole Mones, The Vanishing Act of Esme Lennox by Maggie O'Farrell, and The Magician's Assistant by Ann Patchett.

    Small but beautifully formed pieces of Shaun Micallef.

    Whether he's dropping into the lives of two teachers―and their love lost and found―in "Nine Inches", documenting the unraveling of a dad at a Little League game in "The Smile on Happy Chang's Face", or gently marking the points of connection between an old woman and a benched high school football player in "Senior Season", Perrotta writes with a sure sense of his characters and their secret longings.Nine Inches contains an elegant collection of short fiction: stories that are as assured in their depictions of characters young and old, established and unsure, as any written today.

    Unfortunately, the Cresswill case was anything but. It started as a suicide, but then it was a murder pretending to be a suicide. Then it appeared that it was a suicide masquerading as a murder pretending to be a suicide. It was all so ridiculous, but the only thing a jury needs to acquit is a reasonable doubt, even when it seems quite unreasonable. Or is it? Or not? Perhaps to find the truth, the police need help that is every bit as unhinged as the case…

    29 pages of chapter summaries, quotes, character analysis, themes, and more – everything you need to sharpen your knowledge of Naked. This detailed literature summary also contains Topics for Discussion and a Free Quiz on Naked by David Sedaris.

    The story is a dark comedy about a suicidal young man named John Campbell who, after a failed suicide attempt, heads to Virginia to visit an aunt he hasn’t seen in ten years. But his rental car runs out of gas deep in the mountains. When he decides to walk in the middle of the night, he winds up in a town that is isolated from the rest of the world—Strangeville. Unable to leave, he meets an assortment of loveable oddball characters—the beautiful Delilah, Klemm Johnson, Clarissa Puddworthy, Biff Flannigan, Jeboriah Varmint, Cleetus McChoparooski, and others.

    Authorised by Mr Lipwig of the Ankh-Morpork and Sto Plains Hygienic Railway himself, Mrs Georgina Bradshaw’s invaluable guide to the destinations and diversions of the railway deserves a place in the luggage of any traveller, or indeed armchair traveller, upon the Disc.*From the twine walk of Great Slack to the souks of Zemphis: edifying sights along the route*Ticketing, nostrums and transporting your swamp dragon: essential hints on the practicalities of travel* Elegant resorts and quaint inns: respectable and sanitary lodgings for all species and heights.* From worm-herding to Fustic Cake: diverting trivia on the crafts, foods and brassica traditions of the many industrious people for whom the railway is now a vital link to the Century of the AnchovyFully illustrated and replete with useful titbits, Mrs Bradshaw’s Handbook offers a view of the Sto Plains like no other.

    Indeed, this enduring obsession provided fodder for some of Singh’s best-known work, both as a journalist and as a peerless raconteur.On Women, a wide-ranging selection of Singh’s writings on the subject, includes Singh’s recounting of an embarrassingly drunken meeting with Begum Para, an actress of yesteryears; a sharp profile of Shraddha Mata, a tantric sadhvi who was alleged to have borne Jawaharlal Nehru’s illegitimate child; and a touching sketch of Singh’s grandmother in the twilight of her life. Also featured in this volume are unforgettable women characters from Khushwant Singh’s most popular works of fiction: Georgine, a clueless American teenager who is seduced by a middle-aged tour guide in Delhi; and Nooran, a young girl in pre-Partition Punjab, who discovers the sweet pleasure of first love only to be overtaken by cataclysmic events which leave her adrift.Insightful, poignant, and occasionally wicked, the essays and extracts in On Women are testament to why Khushwant Singh remains one of the most popular writers of our times.

    Known for roles on the small screen such as "never-nude" Tobias Funke on "Arrested Development "and the role of "David" in "Mr. Show With Bob And David, "as well as a hugely successful stand-up routine full of sharp-tongued rants and rages, Cross has carved out his place in American comedy. Whether deflating the pomposity of religious figures, calling out the pathetic symbiosis of pseudo-celebrity and its leaching fandom, or merely pushing the buttons of the way-too-easily offended P.C. left or the caustic, double-standard of the callous (but funnier) right, Cross has something to say about everyone, including his own ridiculous self. Now, for the first time, Cross is weaving his media mockery, celebrity denunciation, religious commentary and sheer madness into book form, revealing the true story behind his almost existential distaste of Jim Belushi ("The Belush"), disclosing the up-to-now unpublished minutes to a meeting of Fox television network executives, and offering up a brutally grotesque run-in with Bill O'Reilly. And as if this wasn't enough for your laughing pleasure in these troubled times, some of the pieces splinter off with additional material being created online in exclusive video and animated web content created solely for the book-a historical first (presumably)! With a mix of personal essays, satirical fiction posing as truth, advice for rich people, information from America's least favorite Rabbi and a top-ten list of top-ten lists, I DRINK FOR A REASON is as unique as the comedian himself, and cannot be missed.

    Winston K. Marks (1915-1979) is one such unjustly forgotten author.Included here are 12 science fiction stories, published between 1953 and 1959, representing some of his best work:THE WATER EATER (1953)UNBEGOTTEN CHILD (1953)…SO THEY BAKED A CAKE (1954)BACKLASH (1954)TABBY (1954)BREEDER REACTION (1954)FORSYTE'S RETREAT (1954)MATE IN TWO MOVES (1954)THE TEST COLONY (1954)BROWN JOHN’S BODY (1955)THE MIND DIGGER (1958)THE DEADLY DAUGHTERS (1958)If you enjoy this book, search your favorite ebook store for "Wildside Press Megapack" to see the more than 100 other entries in the series, covering science fiction, modern authors, mysteries, westerns, classics, adventure stories, and much, much more!

    Join the O'Reilly family once again as they meet around the Jack O'Lantern on Halloween night and share ghost stories that will make you shiver and have you looking over your shoulder to see if there is "a little something extra" wandering through your home tonight.