Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself


Melody Beattie - 1986
    The healing touchstone of millions, this modern classic by one of America's best-loved and most inspirational authors holds the key to understanding codependency and to unlocking its stultifying hold on your life.Is someone else's problem your problem? If, like so many others, you've lost sight of your own life in the drama of tending to someone else's, you may be codependent--and you may find yourself in this book--Codependent No More.The healing touchstone of millions, this modern classic by one of America's best-loved and most inspirational authors holds the key to understanding codependency and to unlocking its stultifying hold on your life.With instructive life stories, personal reflections, exercises, and self-tests, Codependent No More is a simple, straightforward, readable map of the perplexing world of codependency--charting the path to freedom and a lifetime of healing, hope, and happiness.Melody Beattie is the author of Beyond Codependency, The Language of Letting Go, Stop Being Mean to Yourself, The Codependent No More Workbook and Playing It by Heart.

Released from Shame: Moving Beyond the Pain of the Past


Sandra D. Wilson - 2002
    Often shame comes from being raised in a family that has an impaired ability to provide its members with healthy nurturing. As a result, you carry emotional scars into adult life, longing for happiness but feeling unworthy of it. Sandra Wilson knows much about shame-based families--both from personal experience and from her years as a family therapist. Drawing from this background, she teaches you biblical principles that have helped her and many others work through painful issues and learn new, healthier ways to live. In this revised edition, Wilson also includes help for parents who want to break the intergenerational cycle of shame and give their children a grace-based foundation for life.

Emotional Intelligence Training: A Practical Guide to Making Friends with Your Emotions and Raising Your EQ (Positive Psychology Coaching Series Book 8)


Ian Tuhovsky - 2015
    Or, more importantly: do you believe you'd be healthier and happier if everyone who you live with had the strategies to regulate their emotions? ...right? The truth is not too many people actually realize what EQ is really all about and what causes its popularity to grow constantly. Scientific research conducted by many American and European Universities prove that the ‘common’ intelligence responses account for only less than 20% of our life achievements and successes, while the other more than 80% depends on the emotional intelligence. To put it roughly: either you are emotionally intelligent, or you’re doomed to mediocrity, at best. As opposed to the popular image, emotionally intelligent people are not the ones who react impulsively and spontaneously, or who act lively and fiery in all types of social environments. Emotionally intelligent people are open to new experiences, can show feelings adequate to the situation, either good or bad, and find it easy to socialize with other people and establish new contacts. They handle stress well, say ‘no’ easily, realistically assess the achievements of themselves or others, and are not afraid of constructive criticism and taking calculated risks. They are the people of success. Unfortunately, this perfect model of an emotionally intelligent person is extremely rare in our modern times. Sadly nowadays, the amount of emotional problems in the world is increasing at an alarming rate. We are getting richer, but less and less happy. Depression, suicide, relationship breakdowns, loneliness of choice, fear of closeness, addictions - this is the clear evidence we are getting increasingly worse when it comes to dealing with our emotions. Emotional Intelligence is a SKILL, and can be learned through constant practice and training, just like riding a bike or swimming! This book is stuffed with lots of effective exercises, helpful info and practical ideas. Every chapter covers different areas of emotional intelligence and shows you, step by step, what exactly you can do to develop your EQ and become the better version of yourself. I will show you how freeing yourself from the domination of the left-sided brain thinking can contribute to your inner transformation – the emotional revolution that will help you redefine who you are and what you really want from life. In This Book I'll Show You: -What Is Emotional Intelligence and What Does EQ Consist Of? -How to Observe and Express your Emotions -How to Release Negative Emotions and Empower the Positive Ones -How To Deal With Your Internal Dialogues -How To Deal With The Past -How to Forgive Yourself and How to Forgive Others -How to Free Yourself from Other People’s Opinions and Judgments -What Are "Submodalities" and How Exactly You Can Use Them to Empower Yourself and Get Rid of Stress -The Nine Things You Need to Stop Doing to Yourself -How to Examine Your Thoughts -Internal Conflicts Troubleshooting Technique -The Lost A

Everybody Fights: So Why Not Get Better at It?


Kim Holderness - 2021
    We mow our lawns and pull weeds. Why don’t we do maintenance on our marriages? This relationship is the most important one we will ever have, so why not get better at it?For the last several years, Penn and Kim Holderness of The Holderness Family have done the hard maintenance and the research to learn how to fight better. With the help of their marriage coach Dr. Christopher Edmonston, they break down their biggest (and in some cases, funniest) fights. How did a question about chicken wings turn into a bra fight (no, not a bar fight; a bra fight)? How did a roll of toilet paper lead to tears, resentment, and a stint in the guest bedroom?With their trademark sense of humor and complete vulnerability, Penn and Kim share their ten most common Fight Fails and how to combat them. Throughout the book, they offer scripts for how to start, continue, and wrap up hard conversations. Couples will emerge equipped to engage and understand, not do battle—and maybe laugh a little more along the way. In Everybody Fights, couples will learn how touse “magic words” to navigate conflictbreak free of secret contractsbanish the three Ds—distraction, denial, and delaycarry their own individual baggage while helping each other deal with theirs Penn and Kim want you to know you’re not alone. Everybody fights. Marriage is messy. Marriage is work. But marriage is worth it. Fight for it.

The Path Between Us: An Enneagram Journey to Healthy Relationships


Suzanne Stabile - 2018
    And that can make relationships hard, whether with intimate partners, with friends, or in our professional lives. Understanding the motivations and dynamics of these different personality types can be the key that unlocks sometimes mystifying behavior in others—and in ourselves.This book from Suzanne Stabile on the nine Enneagram types and how they behave and experience relationships will guide readers into deeper insights about themselves, their types, and others' personalities so that they can have healthier, more life-giving relationships. No one is better equipped than Suzanne Stabile, coauthor, with Ian Morgan Cron, of The Road Back to You, to share the Enneagram's wisdom on how relationships work—or don’t.• Why do Sixes seem so intimidated and put off by Eights, who only wish the Sixes would stop mulling things over and take action?• Why do Fives seem so unavailable, even to their closest family and friends, while Twos seem to feel everybody else’s feelings but their own and end up irritating people who don’t want their help?• How in the world can Fours be so open and loving to you one day and restrained and distant other times?The Enneagram not only answers these questions but gives us a way out of our usual finger pointing and judging of other people—and finding them wanting, perplexing, or impossible. Suzanne's generous, sometimes humorous, and always insightful approach reveals why all the types behave as they do. This book offers help in fostering more loving, mature, and compassionate relationships with everyone in our lives.

Fierce Intimacy: Standing Up to One Another with Love


Terrence Real - 2018
    It’s something you do," teaches Terry Real. "It’s a minute-by-minute practice of connecting to others through empathy, vulnerability, and accountability." With Fierce Intimacy, this renowned author offers a revolutionary way of living in connection—one that allows you to cherish your partner, yourself, and your relationship in equal measure.How to Communicate with Love and Respect—Even When You Argue Terry’s approach to relationship is called "full-respect living"—to skillfully and honestly assert your needs while also honoring your partner’s needs. In these six sessions, he presents invaluable training for individuals and couples on developing the skills necessary for this authentic way of connecting. You’ll begin by learning how to clear away the outdated beliefs and habits that keep you from developing healthy self-esteem. Then Terry will help you and your partner transform the Five Losing Strategies that sabotage relationships into the Five Winning Strategies that lead to clear communication, trust, and mutual support. "When we dare to be more vulnerable and open and honest, we are forging new territory," says Terry Real. Whether you’re still seeking a partner or want to breathe new life into your existing relationship, Fierce Intimacy brings you essential tools for connecting with true respect, uncompromising honesty, and ever-deepening love.HIGHLIGHTS • The adaptive child—how to recognize and defuse self-sabotaging habits • Unhealthy self-esteem traps for men and women • Identifying your CNI (Core Negative Image)—a key to making arguments constructive instead of destructive • The Feedback Wheel—a four-step approach to revolutionize your communication • The Five Losing Strategies: our impulses to control, retaliate, and be right all the time • The Five Winning Strategies for shared happiness, connection, and success

Stop Walking on Eggshells: Taking Your Life Back When Someone You Care about Has Borderline Personality Disorder


Paul T. Mason - 1998
    It is designed to help them understand how the disorder affects their loved ones and recognize what they can do to get off the emotional roller coasters and take care of themselves.

Boundaries in Marriage: Understanding the Choices That Make or Break Loving Relationships


Henry Cloud - 1999
    Henry Cloud and John Townsend, counselors and authors of the New York Times bestseller Boundaries, teach us that healthy boundaries are the property lines that define and protect you and your spouse as individuals. Once you have them in place, a good marriage can become better, and a less-than-satisfying one can even be saved.Boundaries in Marriage will give you the tools and encouragement you need to:Set and maintain personal boundaries and respect those of your spouseUnderstand and practice two key ingredients to a successful marriage: freedom and responsibilityEstablish values that form a godly structure and architecture for your marriageProtect your marriage from different kinds of "intruders"Work with a spouse who understands and values boundaries--or with one who doesn'tIt's time to deepen your love by providing a better environment for it to flourish, and Drs. Cloud and Townsend are here to help. Discover how boundaries can make life better today!

Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters: 10 Secrets Every Father Should Know


Meg Meeker - 2006
    That’s right—and teen health expert Dr. Meg Meeker has the data and clinical experience to prove it. After more than twenty years of counseling girls, she knows that fathers, more than anyone else, set the course for their daughters’ lives. Now Dr. Meeker, author of the critically acclaimed Epidemic: How Teen Sex Is Killing Our Kids, shows you how to strengthen—or rebuild—your bond with your daughter, and how to use it to shape her life, and yours, for the better. Directly challenging the feminist attack on traditional masculinity, Dr. Meeker demonstrates that the most important factor for girls growing up into confident, well-adjusted women is a strong father with conservative values. To have one, she shows, is the best protection against eating disorders, failure in school, STDs, unwed pregnancy, and drug or alcohol abuse—and the best predictor of academic achievement, successful marriage, and a satisfying emotional life. Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters reveals: • The essential characteristics and virtues of strong fathers—and how to develop them • How daughters take cues from their fathers on everything from drug use, drinking, smoking, and having sex, to self-esteem, moodiness, and seeking attention from boys • Why girls want you to place restrictions on them (even though they’ll complain when you do) • How to become a hero to your daughter—and why she needs that more than anything • The one mistake fathers make that is the primary cause of girls "hooking up" • Why girls depend on the guidance of fathers through, and even beyond, their college years • Recipe for disaster: the notion that girls "need to make their own decisions andmistakes" • Why girls need God—and how your faith, or lack thereof, will influence her • How to communicate with your daughter—and how not to • True stories of "prodigal daughters"—and how their fathers helped bring them back Dads, you are far more powerful than you think you are. Your daughters need the support that only fathers can provide—and if you are willing to follow Dr. Meeker’s advice on how to guide your daughter, to stand between her and a toxic culture, your rewards will be unmatched

Start Here: A Crash Course in Understanding, Navigating, and Healing From Narcissistic Abuse


Dana Morningstar - 2017
    Crazy making. Draining. Does this describe your relationship? Do you wonder if they will ever change? Do you want to know why they lie so much...even when the truth would work better? Have you wondered why they never seem to change—no matter how much you are willing to do for them, or how much love, understanding, rehab, religion, therapy, second (or twenty second) chances you’ve given them? If so, you are not alone and this book is a great place to start. This book covers the most common words, definitions, concepts, and questions surrounding narcissism, and narcissistic abuse, such as: Flying monkeys Hoovering Narcissistic abuse Love bombing Trauma bonding, C-PTSD Scapegoat Reactive abuse …and dozens more. - The cycle of narcissistic abuse (and what it really looks like in motion). - The different ways that narcissists and other types of manipulators go about exploiting your vulnerabilities. - How to create a safety plan if you are trying to leave. - A section for friends, family, and mental health professionals who are trying to better understand what's going on and how to help. - Frequently asked questions about narcissists, such as: What is the difference between a selfish jerk and a narcissist? How do I know for sure if they are a narcissist? Can a narcissist change? Why do I miss them? How can I stop attracting narcissists? How do I handle all this intense anger I have towards them? And much, much more.

How to Be a Person in the World: Ask Polly's Guide Through the Paradoxes of Modern Life


Heather Havrilesky - 2016
    Whether she’s responding to cheaters or loners, lovers or haters, the depressed or the down-and-out, Havrilesky writes with equal parts grace, humor, and compassion to remind you that even in your darkest moments you’re not alone.

The Dad's Edge: 9 Simple Ways to Have: Unlimited Patience, Improved Relationships, and Positive Lasting Memories


Larry Hagner - 2015
    I love being a dad. And I believe that being a dad is one of the most rewarding aspects of a man’s life. However, being a father can humble you like nothing else can. There really is no roadmap. With so few resources out there for dads like us, I decided to create The Dad’s Edge to help YOU as a dad to give you easy to implement techniques you can use to be your very best and enjoy your journey of fatherhood. The Dad’s Edge will help you: * Master work/life balance * Discover three techniques to improve and maintain a great connection with your kids * Improve the connection & intimacy with your spouse, no matter how busy you are * Improve your relationships outside the immediately family * Create positive relationships within the family* Uncover three easy ways to improve your patience short term and long term * Discover simple ways to show up big for your kids and be present in the moment* Thrive (Not Survive) your journey of fatherhood If you can identify with one or more of these issues, I understand first hand. Every one of us struggles with these issues on our dad journey and now I’ve empowered you with some great strategies and a solid roadmap in The Dad’s Edge so you can relax and feel confident you are “good dad focused” and nothing will stand in your way!

Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving


Pete Walker - 2013
    I also wrote it from the viewpoint of someone who has discovered many silver linings in the long, windy, bumpy road of recovering from Cptsd. I felt encouraged to write this book because of thousands of e-mail responses to the articles on my website that repeatedly expressed gratitude for the helpfulness of my work. An often echoed comment sounded like this: At last someone gets it. I can see now that I am not bad, defective or crazy…or alone! The causes of Cptsd range from severe neglect to monstrous abuse. Many survivors grow up in houses that are not homes – in families that are as loveless as orphanages and sometimes as dangerous. If you felt unwanted, unliked, rejected, hated and/or despised for a lengthy portion of your childhood, trauma may be deeply engrained in your mind, soul and body. This book is a practical, user-friendly self-help guide to recovering from the lingering effects of childhood trauma, and to achieving a rich and fulfilling life. It is copiously illustrated with examples of my own and my clients’ journeys of recovering. This book is also for those who do not have Cptsd but want to understand and help a loved one who does. This book also contains an overview of the tasks of recovering and a great many practical tools and techniques for recovering from childhood trauma. It extensively elaborates on all the recovery concepts explained on my website, and many more. However, unlike the articles on my website, it is oriented toward the layperson. As such, much of the psychological jargon and dense concentration of concepts in the website articles has been replaced with expanded and easier to follow explanations. Moreover, many principles that were only sketched out in the articles are explained in much greater detail. A great deal of new material is also explored. Key concepts of the book include managing emotional flashbacks, understanding the four different types of trauma survivors, differentiating the outer critic from the inner critic, healing the abandonment depression that come from emotional abandonment and self-abandonment, self-reparenting and reparenting by committee, and deconstructing the hierarchy of self-injuring responses that childhood trauma forces survivors to adopt. The book also functions as a map to help you understand the somewhat linear progression of recovery, to help you identify what you have already accomplished, and to help you figure out what is best to work on and prioritize now. This in turn also serves to help you identify the signs of your recovery and to develop reasonable expectations about the rate of your recovery. I hope this map will guide you to heal in a way that helps you to become an unflinching source of kindness and self-compassion for yourself, and that out of that journey you will find at least one other human being who will reciprocally love you well enough in that way.

How to Hug a Teenage Porcupine


John Lewis Lund - 2004
    John Lund likes to remind people that they either married their biggest test in life or they gave birth to it! This all-new, three-part seminar is designed to help parents get past the test of raising teenagers. Dr. Lund draws on his extensive background as a marriage and family mediator, as well as his experience of surviving his own eight teenagers, to deliver practical information and real solutions. And of course, he uses humor to drive home his message. For example, he reminds parents that nagging teenagers is much like trying to teach a pig how to sing—it doesn’t work and it irritates the pig!

The Friendship Factor: How to Get Closer to the People You Care for


Alan Loy McGinnis - 1978
    With captivating case histories and anecdotes about such famous people as George Burns, Howard Hughes, and C. S. Lewis, McGinnis shares the secret of how to love and be loved. The first edition of The Friendship Factor, published in 1979, has sold more than 350,000 copies.