Featuring 50 common North American birds, such as the White-Breasted Butt Nugget and the Goddamned Canada Goose (or White-Breasted Nuthatch and Canada Goose for the layperson), Matt Kracht identifies all the idiots in your backyard and details exactly why they suck with ink drawings. Each entry is accompanied by facts about a bird's (annoying) call, its (dumb) migratory pattern, its (downright tacky) markings, and more.The essential guide to all things wings with migratory maps, tips for birding, musings on the avian population, and the ethics of birdwatching.

    But what does that ghosts look like when he's shy? Or in love? Or a pirate, a llama, a Bona villain, or Russian nesting doll? 100 Ghosts explores every sort of spook in a series of whimsically haunting illustrations. It's a delightful collection for adults, children, and anyone in need of a friendly fright.

    Cartoonists Jerry Scott and Jim Borgman have captured the humor of that challenging time with Zits, in which they chronicle the life and times of the typically exasperating yet ever lovable Jeremy Duncan.In this first Zits treasury, a compilation of Zits and Growth Spurt, faithful fans of Jeremy's world will get a glimpse behind the scenes with never-before-seen sketches and the stories behind the strips. Sunday cartoons appear in full-color, highlighting the strip's acclaimed drawing style.Even though the teenage terrain is rocky, Zits is warm and sympathetic. "The highest compliment we hear from readers is, 'You must have a camera hidden in our house!'" says Borgman.

    That list, which included “You won’t have to shout at me that I’m deaf,” and “I won’t blame the family dog for my incontinence,” became the basis of this rousing collection of dos and don’ts, wills and won’ts that is equal parts hilarious, honest, and practical.The fact is, we don’t want to age the way previous generations did. “Old people” hoard. They bore relatives—and strangers—with tales of their aches and pains. They insist on driving long after they’ve become a danger to others (and themselves). They eat dinner at 4pm. They swear they don’t need a cane or walker (and guess what happens next). They never, ever apologize. But there is another way . . .In Stupid Things I Won’t Do When I’m Old, Petrow candidly addresses the fears, frustrations, and stereotypes that accompany aging. He offers a blueprint for the new old age, and an understanding that aging and illness are not the same. As he writes, “I meant the list to serve as a pointed reminder—to me—to make different choices when I eventually cross the threshold to ‘old.’”Getting older is a privilege. This essential guide reveals how to do it with grace, wisdom, humor, and hope. And without hoarding.

    In Broken, Jenny brings readers along on her mental and physical health journey, offering heartbreaking and hilarious anecdotes along the way.With people experiencing anxiety and depression now more than ever, Jenny humanizes what we all face in an all-too-real way, reassuring us that we’re not alone and making us laugh while doing it. From the business ideas that she wants to pitch to Shark Tank to the reason why Jenny can never go back to the post office, Broken leaves nothing to the imagination in the most satisfying way. And of course, Jenny’s long-suffering husband Victor―the Ricky to Jenny’s Lucille Ball―is present throughout.A treat for Jenny Lawson’s already existing fans, and destined to convert new ones, Broken is a beacon of hope and a wellspring of laughter when we all need it most.

    Please go away.This book is for the rest of us. These comics document the wasting of entire beautiful weekends on the internet, the unbearable agony of holding hands on the street with a gorgeous guy, dreaming all day of getting home and back into pajamas, and wondering when, exactly, this adulthood thing begins. In other words, the horrors and awkwardnesses of young modern life.

    While courageously admitting to being "euphorically antisocial" and "sick in the head," he allows us to plunge even deeper into his troubled psyche in this unabashedly uproarious memoir-in-essays where we observe Resnick’s committed indifference to family, friends, strangers, and the world at large. His mind shaped by such touchstone events as a traumatic Easter egg hunt when he was six (which solidified his hatred of parties) and overwrought by obsessions, including one with a plastic shopping bag (which solidified his hatred for change), he refuses to be burdened by chores like basic social obligation and personal growth, living instead by his own steadfast rule: "I refuse to do anything I don’t want to do." Cut from a similar (if somewhat stranger) cloth as Albert Brooks or Louis C.K., Resnick is the crazy, miserable bastard you can’t help rooting for, and the brilliant Will Not Attend showcases this seasoned comedy writer at his brazenly hilarious best.

    That's certainly how authors Erich Origen and Gan Golan feel: The parallel came into sharp relief as they read the beloved picture book Don't Let Pigeon Drive the Bus! to their own children. In this wildly funny (and uncannily spot-on) spoof, Origen and Golan take on the Republican political machine, represented here by a cartoonish, hyper-conservative vulture, who wants nothing more than to drive the bus (even though he secretly hates public transit); give rides to his top hat-wearing, white male cronies; and run over as many "socialists," environmentalists, and public employees as he can find. Timed to coincide with the 2012 presidential election, this witty and hilarious satire turns over-the-top Republican antics into fun-loving political child’s play. But, like most children’s books and their parodies, it also comes with a liberal dose of warning if we, the reader (…and the people), don't heed the call: If you don't want to get thrown under it, then please... Don't Let the Republican Drive the Bus!

    But there are so many other ways red shirt-wearers can be humiliated. By mining the humorous depths of Star Trek's most popular in-jokes—that anyone wearing a red shirt is doomed—this book chronicles the many ways one Starfleet officer's day can be ruined.Poor Red Shirt just can’t catch a break. Whether he's dealing with real-life problems we all face like accidentally mixing whites with colors or being stuck sitting behind a very tall Gorn in a movie theater or trying out a standup comedy routine in front of an audience of surly Klingons, our hapless hero faces a universe-sized number of obstacles.Featuring hilarious illustrations and witty gags that both pop culture fans and Star Trek fans will adore, Star Trek: Redshirt's Little Book of Doom is a fresh new take on one of the most beloved sci-fi sagas of all time.

    It’s time that everybody relaxed and took a moment to enjoy the simple pleasures, but we also appreciate it’s easier said than done. That’s why we’ve enlisted the help of an expert to guide you along the path to peace. Meet your mentor: Brian the sloth.

    A year-long marketing campaign by licensor United Media launched this Diamond Anniversary and creates the perfect setting for Everything I Need to Know I Learned from Peanuts®.This small, hardcover book with all the gift appeal of a box of chocolates shows us why, in the sixty years since its debut, everything you need to know to get through life has been summed up by the gang from Peanuts. Within these pages, Snoopy, Charlie Brown, Lucy, Linus, Sally, Peppermint Patty, Schroeder, and the rest impart their thoughts on friendship, music, love, food, baseball, proper grooming, and a host of other subjects through artwork and text from original Peanuts comic strips.“When your life has been ruined, you should lie under a tree all afternoon.”—Charlie Brown on Nature“Never set your stomach for a jelly-bread sandwich until you’re sure there’s some jelly.”—Linus on Nutrition“It’s a scientific fact that girls are smarter than boys.”—Lucy on Advanced Biology

    Jacobs tackles his most challenging experiment yet: a yearlong mission to radically improve every element of his body and mind—from his brain to his fingertips to his abs.From the bestselling author of The Year of Living Biblically and The Know-It-All comes the true and truly hilarious story of one person’s quest to become the healthiest man in the world. Hospitalized with a freak case of tropical pneumonia, goaded by his wife telling him, “I don’t want to be a widow at forty-five,” and ashamed of a middle-aged body best described as “a python that swallowed a goat,” A.J. Jacobs felt compelled to change his ways and get healthy. And he didn’t want only to lose weight, or finish a triathlon, or lower his cholesterol. His ambitions were far greater: maximal health from head to toe. The task was epic. He consulted an army of experts— sleep consultants and sex clinicians, nutritionists and dermatologists. He subjected himself to dozens of different workouts—from Strollercize classes to Finger Fitness sessions, from bouldering with cavemen to a treadmill desk. And he took in a cartload of diets: raw foods, veganism, high protein, calorie restriction, extreme chewing, and dozens more. He bought gadgets and helmets, earphones and juicers. He poked and he pinched. He counted and he measured. The story of his transformation is not only brilliantly entertaining, but it just may be the healthiest book ever written. It will make you laugh until your sides split and endorphins flood your bloodstream. It will alter the contours of your brain, imprinting you with better habits of hygiene and diet. It will move you emotionally and get you moving physically in surprising ways. And it will give you occasion to reflect on the body’s many mysteries and the ultimate pursuit of health: a well-lived life.

    This book contains more than 150 pages crammed full of classic, monochrome plumage art paired with the delightful but dirty aphorisms (think "I'm going to need more booze to deal with this week") that made the Effin' Birds Twitter feed a household name. Also included in its full, Technicolor glory is John James Audubon's most beautiful work matched with modern life advice. Including never-before-seen birds, insults, and field notes.

    It proved to be much more "difficile" than she'd imagined. In this laugh-out-loud memoir, this cheeky storyteller recounts the highs and lows of her life in the City of Light. Sassy and shamefully honest, Vicki makes you feel as if you're right there in Paris stumbling along the cobblestones with her.

    It’s a world of all-night beach parties and constant cocktail receptions, and within its languorous embrace her attraction for her much younger cousin grows.But the gilded lives of her aunt Julia’s family and their fellow white Africans on the coast are under threat — Islamist terror attacks are on the rise and Rebecca knows more about this violence than she is prepared to reveal. Will she be able to save her newfound family from the violence that encroaches on their seductive lives? Or, amidst growing unrest, will the true reason for her hasty exit from her posting be unmasked? Rebecca finds herself torn between the family she hardly knows and a past she dares not divulge.