The series is written and show-run by Neil himself and stars David Tennant, Michael Sheen, Jon Hamm and Miranda Richardson, to name but a few.**Includes an introduction by Neil Gaiman about bringing GOOD OMENS to the screen**In 1990, dream literary collaborators Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman published 'the funniest book they could write' about the end of the world. Now, Neil Gaiman reinvents their groundbreaking classic for 2019 with his original shooting scripts from the show, and gives readers a unique insight into his adaptation and vision for translating this iconic novel to the screen in an introductory essay.This all-new take on a tale about representatives of good and evil who join forces to prevent the coming apocalypse (which is scheduled to happen on a Saturday, just after tea) will be a joy for fans and new readers alike.

    Godfrey, wages epic snowball fights with Teddy and Francis, and even takes a nervous newbie under his wing during detention. But after a disastrous run-in with Randy in the cafetorium, our hero faces a dreaded after-school showdown on the soccer field.  Will Nate survive or get kicked around?From wedgies and food fights to Halloween pranks and sixth-grade crushes, Big Nate: Payback Time! has got it all.

    His pal Francis won’t stop bombarding him with useless trivia. A wild pitch knocks him out of a ballgame and into the emergency room. And the only thing standing between Nate and summer school is a study session with the worst possible tutor: his too-obnoxious-for-words arch enemy, Gina. But a chance encounter on an amusement park ride could change everything. Meanwhile, the troubles are piling up in this hilarious new collection of Big Nate comics, and there may be only one thing for Nate to do: HUG IT OUT! In this brand-new collection of comics from the New York Times bestselling series Big Nate, everyone's favorite sixth-grade prankster is back for more hilarious misadventures — and even a little romance!

    Bixby’s Last Day.The Unteachables are a notorious class of misfits, delinquents, and academic train wrecks. Like Aldo, with anger management issues; Parker, who can’t read; Kiana, who doesn’t even belong in the class—or any class; and Elaine (rhymes with pain). The Unteachables have been removed from the student body and isolated in room 117.Their teacher is Mr. Zachary Kermit, the most burned-out teacher in all of Greenwich. He was once a rising star, but his career was shattered by a cheating scandal that still haunts him. After years of phoning it in, he is finally one year away from early retirement. But the superintendent has his own plans to torpedo that idea—and it involves assigning Mr. Kermit to the Unteachables.The Unteachables never thought they’d find a teacher who had a worse attitude than they did. And Mr. Kermit never thought he would actually care about teaching again. Over the course of a school year, though, room 117 will experience mayhem, destruction—and maybe even a shot at redemption.

    Pyle comes an adorable and profound universe in pink, blue, green, and purple. Based on the phenomenally popular Instagram of the same name, Strange Planet covers a full life cycle of the planet’s inhabitants, including milestones such as:The Emergence DayBeing Gains a SiblingThe Being Family Attains a BeastThe Formal Education of a BeingCelebration of Special DaysBeing Begins a VocationThe Beings at HomeHealth Status of a BeingThe Hobbies of a BeingThe Extended Family of the BeingThe Being Reflects on Life While Watching the Planet RotateWith dozens of never-before-seen illustrations in addition to old favorites, this book offers a sweet and hilarious look at a distant world not all that unlike our own.

    Why does the Pigeon have to go to school? He already knows everything! And what if he doesn't like it? What if the teacher doesn't like him? What if he learns TOO MUCH!?! Ask not for whom the school bell rings; it rings for the Pigeon!

    If you love Jasper Fforde or Ben Aaronovitch, you won't be able to resist Jodi Taylor.Bannockburn. Major Guthrie. The traditional St Mary's illegal Christmas jump.All terribly straightforward, surely...

    Granted, it sounds like an exaggeration, but Silas was more panicked about leaving the house than even the rat. Neither wanted to go. One had a family, the other had social anxiety. Before sunrise, one was going to be freed in a field, the other from custody. One would see worlds he could never dream, the other would have all his worst fears confirmed. Night of the Rat tells the dark and comedic lengths one couple will go to rid their neighborhood of unwanted guests.

    And paperbacks! And ebooks! And bookstores! And libraries! Book Love is a gift book of comics tailor-made for tea-sipping, spine-sniffing, book-hoarding bibliophiles. Debbie Tung’s comics are humorous and instantly recognizable—making readers laugh while precisely conveying the thoughts and habits of book nerds. Book Love is the ideal gift to let a book lover know they’re understood and appreciated.

    When Daddy spots a solitary weed in his lawn, he's appalled (along with all of his neighborhood friends). But his daughter Sweetie has fallen in love with the beautiful flower, even going so far as to name it Charlotte. Racing against time and the mockery of his friends, Daddy has to find a way to get rid of the errant dandelion without breaking his little girl's heart.

    From anecdotes about first introductions where people patted him on the head instead of shaking his hand, to stories of passersby mistaking his able-bodied girlfriend for a nurse, Shane tackles awkward situations and assumptions with humor and grace.On the surface, these essays are about day-to-day life as a wheelchair user with a degenerative disease, but they are actually about family, love, and coming of age.

    However, his festivities are interrupted when someone attempts to assassinate him while he’s trying to take a leak – is nothing sacred? The thing is, the assassin isn’t all he initially appears, and Bunny soon finds himself in a race against time to trace a kidnapped child before the people who ordered the hit realise that he is considerably less dead than they had hoped.  Bunny is making a list but he’s only checking it once because time is of the essence and some people need a refresher in the meaning of Christmas. Bloody Christmas is a limited edition standalone novella that will be available until December 31st. All proceeds will go to the Peter McVerry Trust, an Irish housing and homeless charity committed to reducing homelessness and the harm caused by substance misuse and social disadvantage.  It is set just after A Man With One of Those Faces, book 1 of the bestselling Dublin Trilogy series that melds high-octane action with an acerbic Irish wit.

    When Pokko takes the drum deep into the forest it is so quiet, so very quiet that Pokko decides to play. And before she knows it she is joined by a band of animals —first the raccoon, then the rabbit, then the wolf—and soon the entire forest is following her. Will Pokko hear her father’s voice when he calls her home? Pokko and the Drum is a story about art, persistence, and a family of frogs living in a mushroom.

    She writes songs about her anatomy, talks trash about her one-eyed rescue pug, and sexually harasses her husband, Stephen. And it pays the bills! Now, in her first-ever book, Laura recounts how she went from being a dangerously impulsive, broke, unemployable, suicidal, cocaine-addicted narcissist, crippled by fear and hopping from one toxic romance to the next…to a more-happy-than-not, somewhat rational, meditating, vegan yogi with good credit, a great marriage, a fantastic career, and four unfortunate-looking rescue animals. Still, above all, Laura remains an amazingly talented, adorable, and vulnerable, self-described…Idiot. With her signature brand of offbeat, no-holds-barred humor, Idiot introduces you to a wildly original—and undeniably relatable—new voice.Oh, the places I've peed --High school Hammer time --My summer of (possibly too much) freedom --How to ignore a hundred red flags --The Damon inside --A spoonful of sugar --Look, Mom! I'm on TV! --New beginnings (but, like, for real) --Two apartments and a home --Maggie: cat --Walking through fear

    Featuring creatures found in the author’s native Ontario, this always sharp, sometimes head-scratchingly bizarre collection of comics offers a view into the secret, surprisingly insightful world of blue jays, squirrels, geese, wolves, and rabbits.

    While it’s not exactly love at first sight, he’s captured my interest and won’t let go. Suddenly, I find myself caught in a game of cat and mouse, determined to attract the attention of Jackson, the PI who should be my enemy. He pretends like he’s not flattered by my flowers and the mentions of my totally-not-fictitious blow-up doll Randy (or was it Dandy?), but I know better. Why else would he be teaming up with me to bring down Hardek, one of the city’s most ruthless criminals? Jackson Even though the cops are telling me that the hitman is a notorious contract killer, I can’t help but admit that I’m drawn to him. He’s funny, charismatic, and attractive. There’s no way this ridiculous man can be the person the cops are after. But when Leland ends up at my doorstep injured, I’m faced with a tough choice. It’s my duty to hand him over to law enforcement, but my heart has other plans. I want to keep him. To protect him. To be with him. Though one question remains: why in the world does the man have so many d*mn guns? Contains: shenanigans on a swing that you would NOT find at a playground, a car chase that sadly doesn't have flips or explosions, a horsey ride sans horse, cuddles, an exuberant mutt, a suspicious chief of police, and lots and lots of laughs.

    Now, as Catarina Claes, the impossibly rich and spoiled daughter of a Duke, her new life seems to perfectly sync up with the world of the game. This means big trouble! No matter how the game turned out, there were only two fates for Catarina: exile or death!

    How To is a guide to the third kind of approach. It's full of highly impractical advice for everything from landing a plane to digging a hole. Bestselling author and cartoonist Randall Munroe explains how to predict the weather by analyzing the pixels of your Facebook photos. He teaches you how to tell if you're a baby boomer or a 90's kid by measuring the radioactivity of your teeth. He offers tips for taking a selfie with a telescope, crossing a river by boiling it, and getting to your appointments on time by destroying the Moon. And if you want to get rid of the book once you're done with it, he walks you through your options for proper disposal, including dissolving it in the ocean, converting it to a vapor, using tectonic plates to subduct it into the Earth's mantle, or launching it into the Sun.By exploring the most complicated ways to do simple tasks, Munroe doesn't just make things difficult for himself and his readers. As he did so brilliantly in What If?, Munroe invites us to explore the most absurd reaches of the possible. Full of clever infographics and amusing illustrations, How To is a delightfully mind-bending way to better understand the science and technology underlying the things we do every day.

    If you struggle with anxiety, you may feel like it’s you against the world all the time. Sometimes, your anxiety can be too much to handle all at once—wouldn’t it be nice to have someone around that understood exactly what you were going through? Meet Marzi! She struggles with anxiety just like you. In Kind of Coping, join Marzi as she (kind of) copes with her own anxiety from day to day, finding the humor in her condition with this collection of funny, encouraging, and supportive comics that show you the best you can do sometimes is just kind of cope—and that’s totally OK! Whether it’s a panic attack or an awkward social snafu, Marzi knows what you are going through. With over 150 full-color doodles that deliver hope and inspiration, unconditional support, and big laughs, let Marzi share her journey with you.

    Right. I knew that...WAIT?! You're telling me I can become a BUTTERFLY?Yes.With wings?Yes.Wait for ME!!Ross Burach's hilarious, tongue-in-cheek exploration of metamorphosis will make you flutter with glee, while also providing real facts about how caterpillars transform into butterflies.

     Hidden Secrets: A Whispering Pines Mystery, Book Four Aside from a minor glitch or two, everything has gone to plan with the grand opening of Pine Time Bed-and-Breakfast. Then one of Jayne’s guests turns up dead on the side of the road. Now, with some of the locals pointing out that the rash of murders plaguing the village started when Jayne arrived, Jayne has to clear her own name while tracking down the real killer. Rival Secrets: A Whispering Pines Mystery, Book Five As the weather turns crisp, Jayne and the other villagers prepare for the last big tourist draw of the season: the autumn equinox festival and its ever-popular cooking competition. Events turn from friendly to fatal, however, when one of the contestants is found dead in the woods. As all eyes turn to one of the villagers as the killer, Jayne digs deep to clear the name of one of their own. Veiled Secrets: A Whispering Pines Mystery, Book Six The village is calm and quiet for the Samhain feast, until a boy goes missing during trick-or-treating. The parents say he does this sometimes, but with a storm bearing down on the village, Jayne isn’t content to dismiss this as a case of a curious kid off exploring the woods. What readers are saying: “I've read them all and just want to go back.” “I wish Whispering Pines was a real place” “If you enjoy honest, rather raw characters seeking direction, and the consequences of past mistakes, you'll enjoy this series as much as I have.” “My mind is still in Whispering Pines. I can clearly see the thatched roof houses, their wood and stucco exteriors. It reminds me of Shakespeare's house in London." “I really enjoy how the characters continue to evolve in this series and the new eccentrics fit right in!” “I totally fell in love with both the village and the story.” “I would gladly plan my next trip to Whispering Pines.” The Whispering Pines Mystery Series Family Secrets: A Whispering Pines Mystery Kept Secrets: A Whispering Pines Mystery, Book Two Original Secrets: A Whispering Pines Mystery, Book Three Hidden Secrets: A Whispering Pines Mystery, Book Four Rival Secrets: A Whispering Pines Mystery, Book Five Veiled Secrets: A Whispering Pines Mystery, Book Six Silent Secrets: A Whispering Pines Mystery, Book Seven Merciful Secrets: A Whispering Pines Mystery, Book Eight

    School is torture, making friends is impossible since he doesn’t speak English, and he's often stuck looking after his (extremely irritating) little brother, Yanghao.To distract himself from the loneliness, Jingwen daydreams about making all the cakes on the menu of Pie in the Sky, the bakery his father had planned to open before he unexpectedly passed away. The only problem is his mother has laid down one major rule: the brothers are not to use the oven while she's at work. As Jingwen and Yanghao bake elaborate cakes, they'll have to cook up elaborate excuses to keep the cake making a secret from Mama.Told in prose and graphic novel elements, this middle-grade novel is about a boy's immigration experience, his annoying little brother, and their cake-baking hijinks!

    Hanselmann’s comic premise of his previous graphic novels — eternally stoned, slacker roommates — stretches at the seams as his characters reflect the psychological toll that their years of unsustainable, determined insouciance and self-medication has inflicted.

    Whether it's disappointing a skydiving instructor mid-flight, hiding from thugs in a bush wearing a bright red dress, or annoying the Kettering Board Games club, a didgeridoo-playing conspiracy theorist and some bemused Christians, James is always finding new ways to embarrass himself.Appearing on Josh Widdicombe's radio show to recount these stories, the feature was christened 'James Acaster's classic scrapes'. Here, in his first book, James recounts these tales (including never-before-heard stories) along with self-penned drawings, in all their glorious stupidity.

    She fled to the mountains with a hostage in tow, hoping to sleep through the holidays, which were a shit-show. A crash in a blizzard, and a hot mountain man, definitely wasn’t part of her evacuation plan. Santas, and stockings, and creepy nutcrackers too, everywhere she looks, it’s a crazy Christmas zoo. But there are hugs, and smiles, and a beautiful view,kisses and laughter, and no time to be blue. Maybe this family, with their hot mountain man, will make this a Christmas Allie can actually stand.

    Realizing what she was doing would likely end in her death, she severed all ties, disappearing across international borders.Her retirement ended abruptly with a single message. The sole person in the world Ham feels the least bit of loyalty to is in trouble, in need not only of Ham but of the very skills that put her into hiding.Acting against every ingrained maxim, and ignoring the myriad warning signs popping up along the way, Ham returns north to find a great deal has changed in her time away. The world moved on, evolving in ways she would have never imagined. From local gang affiliates to the Los Angeles Police Department, everybody seems to be involved in something, all of it somehow leading back to a woman.A woman relying entirely on Ham to get her through…

    I’m chronically awkward, socially inept and completely lack a filter. Believe it or not, men do not find these attractive traits. When my sexy-as-sin neighbour barges into my apartment at the arse crack of dawn, everything changes. For some strange reason, my brand of crazy doesn’t send him running for the hills. Instead, he settles in for a nap on my couch… Oh, and did I mention he was completely naked? Love RomCom's? Then Pink Bits is for you! Check out what advance readers are saying- "Pink Bits is a refreshingly unique, snort-laugh worthy read that I could not put down! Featuring quite possibly the funniest meet cute ever, it's a definite must read."- Author Amali Rose "This book is everything that is amazing, it is sweet, touching and absolutely hilarious." "This book had me laughing out loud and I found I couldn’t put it down. " "I honestly love this little lighthearted masterpiece and I think you will too!" "JB has a real hit on her hands with this wonderful story."

    She has protruding front teeth, thick glasses, and some very unusual hobbies, including interpretive dance and fungus identification. She's intense and passionate--and her peers don't always get her. But surely there are other mushroom lovers out there? As Sweety sets out to find them, she comes to realize--with a little help from her cool Aunt Ruth-- that being Sweety is actually pretty awesome. With heart and humor and a whole lot of charm, Andrea Zuill delivers a story about learning to embrace everything that makes you you--and that's something many kids are going to relate to.

    As the mother of 5 kids -- 6 if you include her husband -- sat in the neurosurgery department in star-covered sweats too whimsical for the seriousness of the situation, all she could think was "Am I going to die?"Thankfully, Jeannie and her family were able to survive their time of crisis, and now she is sharing her deeply personal journey through this miraculous story: the challenging conversations she had with her children; how she came to terms with feeling powerless and ferociously crabby while bedridden and unable to eat for a month; and how she ultimately learned, re-learned and re re-learned to be more present in life.With sincerity and hilarity, Jeannie invites you into her heart (and brain) during this trying time, emphasizing the importance of family, faith and humor as keys to her recovery and leading a more fulfilling life.

    Sal is in the principal's office for the third time in three days, and it's still the first week of school. Gabi, student council president and editor of the school paper, is there to support her friend Yasmany, who just picked a fight with Sal. She is determined to prove that somehow, Sal planted a raw chicken in Yasmany's locker, even though nobody saw him do it and the bloody poultry has since mysteriously disappeared. Sal prides himself on being an excellent magician, but for this sleight of hand, he relied on a talent no one would guess . . . except maybe Gabi, whose sharp eyes never miss a trick. When Gabi learns that he's capable of conjuring things much bigger than a chicken--including his dead mother--and she takes it all in stride, Sal knows that she is someone he can work with. There's only one slight problem: their manipulation of time and space could put the entire universe at risk. A sassy entropy sweeper, a documentary about wedgies, a principal who wears a Venetian bauta mask, and heaping platefuls of Cuban food are just some of the delights that await in this mind-blowing novel gift-wrapped in love and laughter.

    I'm screwed. Welcome to Mudville, home of KISSING BOOKS, a standalone small town, opposites attract, fish out of water romantic comedy with lots of kissing (and other things), a cocky farmer, a sassy misplaced heroine with too many animals, some crazy locals, a decades' old mystery, and a very happy ending for all of them!

    That is, until the day he gets a call from some Earth scientists telling him he isn’t a planet anymore! You probably wanted to meet a real planet, huh? So, Pluto takes the reader on a hilarious and informative journey through the solar system to introduce the other planets and commiserate about his situation along the way. Younger readers will be so busy laughing over Pluto’s interactions with the other planets, asteroids, moons, and even the sun, they won’t even realize just how much they’re learning about our solar system!

    Before she has time to think about how to spend her new fortune, she’s hit with an even bigger shock than unexpected wealth. She has three months to live unless she finds a one-in-a-million bone marrow donor. While her medical team scrambles to locate her miracle, Liz throws together a bucket list, charters a private jet, and takes off to see the world. The journey of a lifetime holds even more surprises, including the hunky pilot she’s falling for at the most inconvenient time. Will Liz die before she can realize her happily-ever-after, or will the universe come through for her one more time? Find out in this humorous tale of true love and adventure! This romantic comedy kindle book is free for Kindle Unlimited subscribers! A seasoned romance for the ages, perfect for later in life readers who enjoy an older heroine and midlife love.

    Find out why every single French MP received camembert in the post. And get to the bottom of all the improvements made to the Ford company’s robotic bum. All this and much, much more, including the news that:· Two tourists planning to visit the Norwegian village of Å, ended up 1,310km away, in Aa.· Five guys were arrested at a branch of Five Guys.· Hollyoaks was partly written by the British government.· The US town of Hell froze over.From Assange to Zuckerberg, taking in Cardi B, CCTV, D-Day, and eSports, The Book of the Year is the only book you need to make senseof the year, no matter how senseless it might have seemed.

    She's on sabbatical and one wrong move means losing her job for good.But the secretive small town is also the site of her mother's murder, a cold case she desperately wants to investigate. Luckily, she has her best friend's restaurant, the Burger Bar, to keep her preoccupied with food and fun.When the peace in Sleepy Creek is broken as murder after murder takes place, Christie can't help investigating. The deaths are connected to her mother's cold case, it seems. Can she solve the mystery before she becomes the next victim?Enjoy the full series of all six books at a special price...

    She hasn't exactly been lucky in love. In fact, she just might be cursed.A guy who only dates lookalikes of his ex? Pass. An alpha-male businessman who bolts in a moment of crisis? No, thanks. A date that turns into the creepiest interview in the history of ever? Where does she find these guys?Join Everly as she dishes to her friends about the surprising, unpredictable, and sometimes crazy adventure that is modern dating. Will she keep matching with frogs or find her Prince Charming?Everly Dalton's Dating Disasters originally appeared as six serial episodes in Claire Kingsley's newsletter. The complete series is available here in one volume. Each episode is an account of one of Everly's (typically terrible) dates. This series of short stories takes place before the full-length, stand-alone hot romcom Faking Ms. Right.

    Unfortunately, Violet Parker doesn’t know what that trick is and her aunt’s life depends on her figuring it out. But killing is an old family tradition for her ... or rather a fatal tradition.

    With twenty-five tales of intriguing, shocking and incredible Christmas incidents, the British public will finally appreciate the sacrifices made and the challenges faced by the unsung heroes of the NHS.Twas The Nightshift Before Christmas will be fully illustrated (as tastefully as possible) and will delight all of Adam’s fans throughout the festive period of Christmas 2019 and for many years to come.

    according to an artificial intelligence trained by scientist Janelle Shane, creator of the popular blog "AI Weirdness." She creates silly AIs that learn how to name paint colors, create the best recipes, and even flirt (badly) with humans--all to understand the technology that governs so much of our daily lives.We rely on AI every day for recommendations, for translations, and to put cat ears on our selfie videos. We also trust AI with matters of life and death, on the road and in our hospitals. But how smart is AI really, and how does it solve problems, understand humans, and even drive self-driving cars?Shane delivers the answers to every AI question you've ever asked, and some you definitely haven't--like, how can a computer design the perfect sandwich? What does robot-generated Harry Potter fan-fiction look like? And is the world's best Halloween costume really "Vampire Hog Bride"?In this smart, often hilarious introduction to the most interesting science of our time, Shane shows how these programs learn, fail, and adapt--and how they reflect the best and worst of humanity. You Look Like a Thing and I Love You is the perfect book for anyone curious about what the robots in our lives are thinking.

    From surviving a skin infection in the swampy armpit of America (aka Columbus, Georgia) to kicking down doors in the outskirts of Ramadi; from blowing up a truck full of enemy combatants to witnessing the effects of a suicide bombing right in front of your face, Thank You for My Service will give readers fresh insight into what it’s really like inside the minds of the men and women on the front linesIt’s also a sobering yet steadying glimpse at civilian life for veterans, after the fighting stops. When the enemy becomes self-doubt or despair, and you begin to wonder why anyone should be thanking you for anything, least of all your service. How do you keep going when something you love turns you into somebody you hate? For veterans and their friends and family,

    Following an appearance to promote one of his books on The Daily Show, he was invited to return as a contributor, serving as the show's "Resident Expert" and "Deranged Millionaire." This led to an unexpected and, frankly, implausible career in front of the camera.In these pages, Hodgman explores the strangeness of his career, speaking plainly of fame, especially at the weird, marginal level he has enjoyed--not only the surreal excitement of it, but also the drudgery of it, the emptiness of the status it conveys, and the hard moments of losing that status.Through these stories you will learn many things, such as what it's like to be invited to become an honorary member of an Ivy League secret society, only to be hazed and humiliated by the dapper young members of that club. Or how it feels when your TV gig is cancelled and you can console yourself with the fact that all of that travel that made your children feel so sad and abandoned at least left you with a prize: Platinum Medallion Status with your airline.

    I'm Hattie Morehead, and for a 19-year-old, I've screwed up my life pretty good so far. I grew up in a town in Tennessee the size of a mud puddle, and I'd planned to be somewhere else by now doing something important. Instead I got myself pregnant, dropped out of high school, and took a job at the same sewing factory that sucked the life out of my mother and my grandmother.My relatives are shady, my friends are freaks, and my romantic prospects are dim. But this small-town girl has big dreams: Someday I'm gonna get out of here. Someday everyone will know my name. Because someday instead of sewing designer clothes for minimum wage, I'll have my own clothing line.I admit, at times that day seems far, far away. But I'm gonna make it happen. I simply have to.For now, I'm hanging in and hanging on... by a thread._______________________This FACTORY GIRL, Part 1 novella is a month's worth of daily segments: JULYThe Part 1 novella is JULY, Part 2 is AUGUST, Part 3 is SEPTEMBER, Part 4 is OCTOBER, Part 5 is NOVEMBER, part 6 is DECEMBER.(In total there are 6 parts to FACTORY GIRL.)Don't miss out on this funny, poignant story everyone is talking about!_____________________OTHER multi-part serials by Stephanie Bond:COMA GIRL, parts 1-6   You can learn a lot when people think you aren't listening.TEMP GIRL, parts 1-6    Change is good... but not great.COMEBACK GIRL, parts 1-6   Home is where the hurt is.

    When I get coerced by my brother into helping him rob a bank, I run into August, my childhood crush—also known as Chrono, the city’s greatest superhero. He’s sexy, sweet, and suddenly he’s asking me to Thanksgiving with his parents. It’s probably because he doesn’t realize that I’m Leviathan, a villain with the power of telekinesis. And I can’t tell him because he’d never forgive me and would stop doing things like cooking for me—wait, maybe that would be a good thing, since he’s a terrible cook. It doesn’t help that my parents think they’re the ultimate villains and won’t stop getting in my way, although they can’t even steal toilet paper without getting caught. But when real supervillains (not the wannabe kind that I grew up with) start targeting August, I might be forced to show everyone who I truly am: a slightly warped and snarky man who’d really rather read a book than save anything… besides August. I’ll tear this world apart just to get another glimpse of him in those glasses and spandex suit. I’ll do whatever it takes to keep him safe, even though it means exposing my true identity. Luckily, August still cares about me, proving that even a villain and a hero can fall in love. Hopefully, we’ll be able to save the world in time for Christmas. This ridiculous and snarky holiday novel is 92,000 words and contains a villain turned unlikely hero (even if he’s a manager's worst nightmare), a superhero with a fondness for suckers who absolutely does NOT use his powers to cheat on board games, a hairless cat with an unfortunate name, bumbling family members that try to be evil but are mostly just embarrassing, a snow globe with mysterious powers, betrayal, true love, a risqué Santa suit, and the saltiest chicken ever. Although this book is part of A Snow Globe Christmas series, it is a complete standalone, and it isn’t a requirement that you read the previous books to follow along. We wish everyone a happy holiday season.

    In Will My Cat Eat My Eyeballs?, best-selling author and mortician Caitlin Doughty answers the most intriguing questions she’s ever received about what happens to our bodies when we die. In a brisk, informative, and morbidly funny style, Doughty explores everything from ancient Egyptian death rituals and the science of skeletons to flesh-eating insects and the proper depth at which to bury your pet if you want Fluffy to become a mummy. Now featuring an interview with a clinical expert on discussing these issues with young people—the source of some of our most revealing questions about death—Will My Cat Eat My Eyeballs? confronts our common fear of dying with candid, honest, and hilarious facts about what awaits the body we leave behind.

    Sevana’s quite accustomed to magical explosions, fires, and curses in her daily life. People abruptly appearing inside of Big from a different planet? Well, she has to admit, that’s a first. Deepwoods Guild specializes in traveling, but with Grae at the helm, they’ve never had a path fail. Until now. For the first time in his professional career, Grae has no idea where they are or how to get them back home again. But maybe, if the Pathmakers and Artifactors can put their heads together, they can figure it out.

    One of the chapters, for example, answers which race Kevin Costner was able to white savior the best, because did you know that he white saviors Mexicans in McFarland, USA, and white saviors Native Americans in Dances with Wolves, and white saviors Black people in Black or White, and white saviors the Cleveland Browns in Draft Day? Another of the chapters, for a second example, answers what other high school movie characters would be in Regina George's circle of friends if we opened up the Mean Girls universe to include other movies (Johnny Lawrence is temporarily in, Claire from The Breakfast Club is in, Ferris Bueller is out, Isis from Bring It On is out...). Another of the chapters, for a third example, creates a special version of the Academy Awards specifically for rom-coms, the most underrated movie genre of all. And another of the chapters, for a final example, is actually a triple chapter that serves as an NBA-style draft of the very best and most memorable moments in gangster movies. Many, many things happen in Movies (And Other Things), some of which funny, others of which are sad, a few of which are insightful, and all of which are handled with the type of care and dedication to the smallest details and pockets of pop culture that only a book by Shea Serrano can provide.

    That includes men, relationships, and that dreaded F word, FEELINGS—distractions she eliminated long ago. After the worst day ever (a near-death experience and a public wedgie, for starters), Ruth realizes she doesn’t want to live and die alone. She puts together a business plan to find the perfect man and dives head first into the murky online dating pool. All she wants is a high-powered executive who understands how important her career is. If only it were that easy. Problem is most men are intimidated by Ruth’s confidence and shocked by her bluntness. The exception being her landscape designer, Nick, whose cool demeanor and unsolicited dating advice are driving her nuts. He’s the antithesis of the business-oriented man Ruth envisions for herself, so why do all signs keep pointing back to him?

    Vainqueur's only pleasure in life is to watch his treasure get bigger, one coin at a time. So when a would-be thief turned unwilling minion tells him about "classes," "levels," and "quests," Vainqueur wonders if maybe, just maybe, he should consider a career change. After all, why bother hunting monsters for free when you can get paid for it?

    Until it arrives. From the desk of Honor Raconteur comes the tale of one guild, who believes in the impossible, and fight with everything they have to prevent the war they see coming. ~ Contains all three books in the trilogy "Deepwoods," "Blackstone," and "Fallen Ward," as well as "Origins," the collection of short stories.

     Hot bikers, sassy women, and love stories to melt your heart. Gambler’s Longshot Opposites attract, or so they say. With Gwen constantly throwing sass and questioning every word that comes out of Gambler’s mouth, Gambler and Gwen maybe the first couple to prove that saying wrong. All Gambler wants to do is keep Gwen safe and that’s it. He never expected the unwanted attraction and the need to protect her no matter what. Gambler’s intentions maybe true, but Gwen has learned the hard way that things are not always what they seem. Can Gambler persuade Gwen to take a chance on him, or will all bets be off? Keeping Meg After years of heartbreak and being married to the wrong man, Meg has finally found what she always wanted with Lo. Except there’s one problem. Lo is keeping something from Meg and Meg is more than determined to figure out what it is. Will they make it down the aisle and ride off into the sunset, or will life get in the way and have Meg make a decision she might regret for the rest of her life? Fighting Demon A shared past that no one knew about until Demon and Paige’s worlds collided again. Demon and Paige both made mistakes eight years ago, tearing apart the love they had for each other. Now, Demon has Paige in his sights again, and he isn’t going to let her go. But things aren’t always what they seem. Could Demon and Paige be over before they even start again, or will the past fade, making room for the ending they’ve always wanted? Unraveling Fayth Fayth doesn’t know what she wants anymore. Torn between the life she used to live or staying in Rockton, Fayth can’t decide which future she wants. All she knows is that the one man who won’t leave her side is the one man who is taking over her heart. Everyday Slider relives the moment he thought he had lost Fayth before he even had the chance to have her. Now, with Fayth back in Rockton, he’s never letting her out of his sight. Although, someone else has other plans Danger is lurking, and Slider is the one man that will keep her safe. He let her down once. He’ll never let it happen again. The score is finally settled in this thrilling conclusion to the Devil’s Knights Series.

    The text has been revised, expanded and re-illustrated.*Welcome, readers, to the imaginative brain of Omar! You might not know me yet, but once you open the pages of this book you'll laugh so hard that snot will come out of your nose (plus you might meet a dragon and a zombie - what more could you want?).My parents decided it would be a good idea to move house AND move me to a new school at the same time. As if I didn't have a hard enough time staying out of trouble at home, now I've also got to try and make new friends.What's worse, the class bully seems to think I'm the perfect target and has made it his mission to send me back to Pakistan. But I've never even been to Pakistan! And my cousin told me the pizza there is YUCK.The only good thing is that Eid's just around the corner which means a feast of all my favourite food (YAY) and presents (DOUBLE YAY). I'm really hoping I can stay in Mum and Dad's good books long enough to get loads...The combination of Zanib Mian's hilarious text and Nasaya Mafaridik's fantastic cartoon-style illustrations make the PLANET OMAR series perfect for fans of Tom Gates and Wimpy Kid.

    Most of the time this math works quietly behind the scenes . . . until it doesn't. All sorts of seemingly innocuous mathematical mistakes can have significant consequences.Math is easy to ignore until a misplaced decimal point upends the stock market, a unit conversion error causes a plane to crash, or someone divides by zero and stalls a battleship in the middle of the ocean.Exploring and explaining a litany of glitches, near misses, and mathematical mishaps involving the internet, big data, elections, street signs, lotteries, the Roman Empire, and an Olympic team, Matt Parker uncovers the bizarre ways math trips us up, and what this reveals about its essential place in our world. Getting it wrong has never been more fun.

    Five years ago, dateless dork Bill Ryder somehow saved the world, banishing magic and monsters to the shadows. He thought it was over, that he was finished with that life. Too bad for him, shit’s about to get surreal again. Now the impossible has happened. His goddaughter is conjuring fireballs from thin air and two vampires have shown up at his doorstep looking to kick his ass. A crazed group of ex-wizards are hell-bent on forcing the door between worlds open, intent on letting the nightmares back in, and only Bill and his friends stand in their way. Join him in this hilarious tale of a world teetering on the brink of anarchy and the unlikely hero who’s not afraid to look the madness in the eye and flip it both fingers.----------Bill the vampire is back in Strange Days – Bill of the Dead 1 –the eagerly awaited sequel to the bestselling Tome of Bill horror comedy series. Click BUY NOW to start enjoying this bloody good time. If you haven’t already, be sure to check out Bill’s adventures in the complete Tome of Bill series: Bill the Vampire (book 1) Night Stalker (series adventure) Scary Dead Things (book 2) The Mourning Woods (book 3) Holier Than Thou (book 4) Sunset Strip (series adventure) Goddamned Freaky Monsters (book 5) Half A Prayer (book 6) The Wicked Dead (book 7) Shining Fury (series adventure) The Last Coven (book 8)

    The perfect read-aloud for fans of Snappsy the Alligator and Interrupting Chicken.Step one: fill the bathStep two: put the cat in the bathStep three: put shampoo on the catStep four: rinse the catStep five: dry the catSeems simple, right? One problem: the cat has no intention of doing ANY of these things! Watch as the steps keep changing, the cat keeps escaping, the girl keeps eating cookies and the mess keeps escalating. Soon it's not just the cat who needs a bath--it's the whole house!This spoof on an instruction manual features an increasingly bewildered human, a nonchalant cat and a know-it-all narrator . . . who really doesn't know it all. How DO you give a cat a bath? Read on to find out!

    How To is a guide to the third kind of approach. It's full of highly impractical advice for everything from landing a plane to digging a hole.Bestselling author and cartoonist Randall Munroe explains how to predict the weather by analyzing the pixels of your Facebook photos. He teaches you how to tell if you're a baby boomer or a 90's kid by measuring the radioactivity of your teeth. He offers tips for taking a selfie with a telescope, crossing a river by boiling it, and powering your house by destroying the fabric of space-time. And if you want to get rid of the book once you're done with it, he walks you through your options for proper disposal, including dissolving it in the ocean, converting it to a vapor, using tectonic plates to subduct it into the Earth's mantle, or launching it into the Sun.By exploring the most complicated ways to do simple tasks, Munroe doesn't just make things difficult for himself and his readers. As he did so brilliantly in What If?, Munroe invites us to explore the most absurd reaches of the possible. Full of clever infographics and amusing illustrations, How To is a delightfully mind-bending way to better understand the science and technology underlying the things we do every day.

    Includes special bonus material!Sharing never-before-heard stories ranging from their struggles with depression, eating disorders, and addiction, Karen and Georgia irreverently recount their biggest mistakes and deepest fears, reflecting on the formative life events that shaped them into two of the most followed voices in the nation.In Stay Sexy & Don’t Get Murdered, Karen and Georgia focus on the importance of self-advocating and valuing personal safety over being ‘nice’ or ‘helpful.’ They delve into their own pasts, true crime stories, and beyond to discuss meaningful cultural and societal issues with fierce empathy and unapologetic frankness.

    A successful business, wealth, and a beautiful baby girl. The only area in her life that she seemed to be lacking in was romance. Although she and Mendesses—her drag racing baby father—does a great job co-parenting they didn’t work well as a couple. Instead of focusing on love, she hustles and put all of her energy into taking care of her daughter and building her business. That is, until the charming and extremely handsome Lamont Morehouse sweeps her off her feet. Lamont grew up on the mean streets of Detroit, but because his parents saw so much potential in him, they relocated to Atlanta Georgia before he could get himself into something he couldn’t get out of. Luckily, getting Lamont out of the hood took him down another path in life. Ultimately, though, Lamont ends up right back in Detroit, but this time, instead of breaking the law, he’s enforcing it as an undercover cop. Mendesses has been running the game in underground racing for years. As the undisputed champ, quitting is the furthest thing from his mind. He’s determined to keep his championship status despite a few things lurking, threatening to compromise his livelihood. Karisma is just as beautiful and ambitious as her best friend. Tahiry, Like Tahiry, Karisma is single, but she’s ready to mingle. She has her eye on the young, money getting street racer, James but unlike most, she’s a little soft spoken about it. Luckily for Karisma, fate pushes the two together eventually. But old habits die hard and Danielle is definitely James old habit. Collins, Karisma's out of town cousin, is fresh out of a relationship and isn’t interested in starting anything new, anytime soon. She relocated to Michigan, in search of a fresh start, definitely not a new love. But when she meets the intriguing, and slick talking Mendesses, everything changes. Despite her greatest efforts, Collins ends up falling hard for him. What started out as a good year for this group of friends drastically takes a turn for the worst when a snake infiltrates the crew. Brace yourself as Londyn Lenz takes you on yet another wild journey laced with drama, deceit, lies and bloodshed.

    But his success didn’t happen overnight. Elvis spent years navigating the wild world of radio as a DJ for hire, working (and partying) in markets around the country before taking over the morning shift at the legendary Z100 in 1996. Over the last twenty years, he has become one of New York City’s signature voices (Variety calls him “a permanent fixture of the area’s daily commutes”) thanks to his show’s exciting mix of music, new artist discovery, interviews, gossip, and live listener interaction. Along the way, Elvis has become known not just for his incisive interviews (and occasional feuds) with pop music’s biggest stars, but for the show’s commitment to kindness and positivity and Elvis’s own candor and openness with his audience. Bold, funny, and totally candid, Where Do I Begin? is sure to be loved by anyone who listens to Elvis live every morning—or anyone who wants to know what really goes on behind the scenes of the pop music machine from the “man who has been as big a part of the industry’s success as anyone” (Ryan Seacrest).

     When Copper can no longer fight against his better judgment, and finally takes what he wants, Shell’s past steps in with a shock he never sees coming. Rocket Chloe’s unconventional methods of dealing with a trauma have Rocket keeping track of her, despite knowing it’s a mistake. Will Chloe be able to accept Logan as the biker who rescued her and allow him into her life enough to help her heal? The answer won’t matter if his violent past intervenes before she has a chance to try. Little Jack Holly's tragic past and Sheriff father have her running from anything biker related. Until she meets LJ, the newest member of the Hell's Handlers MC. LJ can't resist the curvy baker who moves in next door. But how is any connection between them possible when Holly's father is determined to destroy both their relationship and LJ's club?

    Next thing he knows, the entire family has been pulled into a campaign that escalates from virtual D&D simulations to alternate universes governed by the rules of the game. And as it turns out, Rick isn't the only one who knows his way around a d20.#1 New York Times-bestselling fantasy author Patrick Rothfuss (The Name of the Wind), acclaimed comics writer Jim Zub (Dungeons & Dragons: Evil at Baldur's Gate, Skullkickers), and Eisner-nominated artist Troy Little (Hunter S. Thompson's Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas) bring you the comics crossover of the year! It's an irreverent, unexpected adventure sure to please fans of both franchises.Collects the complete four issue miniseries.

    Hee Haw! The laugh-out-loud follow-up to the viral sensation The Wonky Donkey is finally here! Featuring playful verses by Craig Smith and charming illustrations by Katz Cowley, The Dinky Donkey follows the same formula that made its predecessor a worldwide hit. Readers will love the antics of this stinky punky plinky-plonky winky-tinky pinky funky blinky dinky donkey!

    Helping a stranger in need changes everything. Spend a little time on a fun romp with Bob and Nikki.

    Thanks to his family, he knows that snobby katts are good for nothing but chasing up trees. Molly is a clever katt who just knows she's destined for fame and fortune as an actress. She comes from a family of well-bred katts who despise drooly, disgusting doggs!For their whole lives, Oscar and Molly have been told that katts and dogs hate each other. One day, they each get hopelessly lost in the woods, but those lifelong prejudices flare up when they cross paths. Slowly, they realize that the only way to survive and find their way home is to...work together?!Yeah, that's not going to happen!

    In Freedom On!, he uses the gallows humor and ribald sensibility that earned him over a million Facebook followers to tell his personal story of military service and the bumpy transition to civilian life and successful entrepreneurship.Beginning as a teenager in a military family dealing with 9/11, continuing through the intensity of four years as an Army Ranger and five years as a private military contractor, and concluding with one of the most meaningful moments in Best's life--screening a movie he wrote, produced, and starred in for soldiers deployed overseas--Best gives readers a fuller sense of the person they might only know from his major online and video persona.

    Now, in her one-of-a-kind voice that blends academic intellectualism, Black American colloquialisms, and pop culture fanaticism, she’s bringing her life’s lessons and laughs to the page. This volume of essays, axioms, original illustrations, and photos provides Seales’s trademark “self-help from the hip” style of commentary, fueled by ideology formed from her own victories, struggles, research, mistakes, risks, and pay-offs. Unapologetic, fiercely funny, and searingly honest, Small Doses engages, empowers, and enlightens readers on how to find their truths while still finding the funny!

    The mistletoe is hung. The eggnog is spiked. It’s time to celebrate the merriest, most heart-warming Christmas ever! Or not? No. Definitely, absolutely not. This Christmas won’t be cheerful. It’ll be more like Ash vs Evil Dead meets National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation. Because the Wallace family’s annual Christmas Eve party is about to skid off the rails. When a truckload of newly minted ghosts mix with the blizzard of the century, the neighborhood snowmen turn into blood-thirsty fiends. Their ghastly quest for revenge draws them to the brightest, loudest, most Christmasy place in the neighborhood: The home of Lloyd Wallace, hapless employee of the 24/7 Demon Mart, a local corner store where the beer cave doubles as the gate to hell. When the possessed snowmen crash a party packed with unpleasant relatives, back-stabbing socialites, one inconsolable cockroach, three badass demon fighters, and too much alcohol, this picture-perfect holiday soon goes straight to hell. This Christmas story is a companion to 24/7 Demon Mart, a humorous dark fantasy and horror-comedy book series for fans of Christopher Moore (The Stupidest Angel), Terry Pratchett, Mark Cain (Circles in Hell), and Heide Goody (Candy Canes and Buckets of Blood / Last Christmas, an Oddjobs short story). Hell for the Holidays can be read at any point in the 24/7 Demon Mart series AFTER The Graveyard Shift: 24/7 Demon Mart #1.

    . . as well as his own. Now fans of the movie can journey back even further—to the 16th century, when the Bard of Avon unveils his latest masterpiece: William Shakespeare’s Get Thee Back to the Future! Every scene and line of dialogue from the hit movie is re-created with authentic Shakespearean rhyme, meter, and stage directions. This reimagining also includes jokes and Easter eggs for movie fans, from Huey Lewis call-outs to the inner thoughts of Einstein (the dog). By the time you’ve finished reading, you’ll be convinced that Shakespeare had a time-traveling DeLorean of his own, speeding to our era so he could pen this time-tossed tale.

    Hell, I never planned to meet her. But her grandfather’s will changes everything. That, and the shockingly intimate to-do list he left for us. Landon I’ve known about Andi Wainwright my whole life. Until now, I’d done a damn good job of keeping my distance. No photos. No social media. But that changed when I learned about the old man’s death. I had the misfortune of being his business partner, and now the keys to my future are tangled up in his ridiculous will. First, I had to personally bring Andi down to his club, The Golden Pecker to show her some mysterious video. I may be in the dark about what’s going on, but I know one thing: I don’t care what’s on that tape. Nothing is going to change the fact that Andi Wainwright is the enemy.

    Put them all together in a house in Bent, Colorado. What could possibly go wrong? Chance Redburn lost his ranch and his only living relative, his Aunt Viola, in the same week. Now he has no choice but to try and make a go of his inheritance., Viola’s matchmaking service. He arrives in town to a shipment of brides to match and no idea how to do so. To make matters worse his aunt kept no records of who her clients were. The only thing he finds is a stack of letters that informs Chance that one of the women expects to be matched to him! Only he never asked Aunt Viola for a bride. Violet Montgomery left her classroom and home in Greenbough Alabama to become the matchmaker’s assistant and hopefully make a match with matchmaker’s rancher nephew. Only when Violet arrives the matchmaker is dead, and the nephew is now running the matchmaking service. Does he know Violet is supposed to be his love match? Can Violet help the clueless man figure out how to match brides to grooms? Why is the town calling him The Bride Herder? Even worse why is Chance checking the women’s teeth and asking their weight? Find out in the first book of the exciting Bride Herder Series: “A Bride to Herd.”

    A collection of gloriously random and unexpected cartoons from the hugely popular webcomic Safely Endangered.Created by UK-based artist Chris McCoy, Safely Endangered's brilliantly hilarious comics have an unexpected, twisted punch line with an adorable illustration.  From relying far too heavily on Facebook to the struggles of sibling rivalry, Safely Endangered covers a vast range of ridiculously funny situations with humans, animals and even video game characters.

    By spinning 28 mathematical tales, Orlin shows us that calculus is simply another language to express the very things we humans grapple with every day -- love, risk, time, and most importantly, change. Divided into two parts, "Moments" and "Eternities," and drawing on everyone from Sherlock Holmes to Mark Twain to David Foster Wallace, Change is the Only Constant unearths connections between calculus, art, literature, and a beloved dog named Elvis. This is not just math for math's sake; it's math for the sake of becoming a wiser and more thoughtful human.

    She has one chance to turn things around with a big audition. But instead of getting her big break, she gets sick as a dog and completely bombs it in the most humiliating fashion. All thanks to a mysterious, gorgeous guy who kissed—and then coughed on—her at a party the night before.Luckily, her best friend might have found the perfect opportunity; a job staying at the lavish penthouse apartment of hotel magnate Bancroft Mills while he’s out of town, taking care of his exotic pets. But when the newly-evicted Ruby arrives to meet her new employer, it turns out Bane is the same guy who got her sick. Hooking Up Amalie Whitfield is the picture of a blushing bride during her wedding reception–her husband can be heard, by Amalie and their guests, getting off with someone else. She has every reason to freak out, and in a moment of insanity, she throws herself at the first hot-blooded male she sees. But he’s not interested in becoming her revenge screw.Amalie decides to go on her honeymoon alone, only to find the man who rejected her also heading to the same tiny island for work. But this time he isn’t holding back. They might agree that what happens on the island should stay on the island, but neither one can deny that their attraction is more than just physical. Making Up Cosy Felton is great at her job—so when the hottest guy she’s ever seen walks into the shop looking completely overwhelmed, she’s more than happy to turn on the charm and help him purchase all of the items on his list.Griffin Mills is using his business trip in Las Vegas as a chance to escape the broken pieces of his life in New York City but pleasantly surprised when he finds himself attracted to the sales girl that helped him.As skeptical as Cosy may be of Griffin’s motivations, there’s something about him that intrigues her. But sometimes what happens in Vegas doesn’t always stay in Vegas and when real life gets in the way, all bets are off.

    This witty and poignant exploration of predator and prey will have children and parents alike roaring with laughter--and looking for their next meal.

    Four years later, she’s a stay at home mum with two adorable children, has swapped her Louboutins for rabbit slippers and spends her day making crustless sandwiches and colour co-ordinated lunches instead of signing up high profile clients. When her husband is suddenly made redundant, there is panic in the Mathers’ household. With a mortgage the size of the national debt and a credit card balance that’s in danger of toppling, Lucy reluctantly decides she must return to work. So she digs out her old power suits from the back of the wardrobe and leaves Will to become a house husband. But sitting in Lucy’s old office is Grant Cassidy, suave, handsome and ruthless and with no intention of letting Lucy walk back into the number one job. At home, despite his breezy declaration that swapping boardroom battles for toddler groups would be a doddle, Will’s belief that parental issues could be solved with forward planning and a spread sheet soon falls by the wayside. With both Will and Lucy struggling to adapt, could their previously happy marriage be developing some cracks?

    She can only hope to encounter as few people as possible and protect the secret she took with her more than twenty-five years ago—her beautiful and successful daughter, Sugar Jones. Born into one of the town’s founding families, Eric Larsson was never given a choice when it came to the life he would lead, including whom he would marry. And despite having loved Becca Jones since childhood, he had been coerced into a loveless marriage and was forced to let Becca go on the night of her beloved father’s funeral. Word travels fast in the small town, and Becca is soon confronted by the man she’s loved since she was eight years old. Eric reveals the darkest truths of his former marriage, and just as the two begin to consider a new future, an angry Sugar Jones comes to town demanding answers. Going Home is a story of worlds colliding, well-kept secrets, and the promise of lives forever changed. From debut author Kelly J. Calton comes the first book in her charming Snow Globe Café series. For fans of Debbie Macomber, Carolyn Brown, and RaeAnne Thayne, readers will be happy to follow Becca Jones home to the magical, holiday obsessed town of Snow Valley.

    In "A Most Blessed and Auspicious Occasion," a young couple planning a wedding is forced to deal with interfering relatives dictating the appropriate number of ritual goat sacrifices. "Missed Connection--m4w" is the tragicomic tale of a pair of lonely commuters eternally failing to make that longed-for contact. The members of a rock band in "Up-and-Comers" discover they suddenly have superpowers--but only when they're drunk. And in "The Serial Monogamist's Guide to Important New York City Landmarks," a woman maps her history of romantic failures based on the places she and her significant others visited together.Equally at home with the surreal and the painfully relatable (or both at once), Bob-Waksberg delivers a killer combination of humor, romance, whimsy, cultural commentary, and crushing emotional vulnerability. The resulting collection is a punchy, perfect bloody valentine.

    Her stories range from the ridiculous - like the time she made her own tap shoes out of bottle caps or how the theme song of The Golden Girls landed her in the principal's office - to the sobering moments, like how she turned to stand-up comedy to grieve the heartbreaking loss of her mother, and how, years later, she's committed to giving back to the community that helped make her.Each significant moment of the audiobook relates to a song, and the resulting playlist is deeply moving, resonant, and unforgettable. Music to My Years will make you laugh, cry, and even inspire you to make a playlist of your own.

    They’d prefer a boy, with glowing skin, bright eyes, and two roses for lips…but any kid will do. When they find themselves gifted with a baby goat (also known as a kid) instead, they can’t imagine how he’ll fit into their lives.

    It’s a delightful collection of mysteries. A mosaic. A memoir. A charming, surprising must-read.Mike Rowe’s The Way I Heard It collects thirty-five fascinating stories “for the curious mind with a short attention span.” Five-minute mysteries about people you know, filled with facts that you didn’t. Movie stars, presidents, Nazis, and bloody do-gooders—they’re all here, waiting to shake your hand, hoping you’ll remember them. Delivered with Mike’s signature blend of charm, wit, and ingenuity, their stories are part of a larger mosaic—a memoir crammed with recollections, insights, and intimate, behind-the-scenes moments drawn from Mike’s own remarkable life and career.

    This collection of wit and wisdom from New York Times bestselling author Lemony Snicket is unlikely to help.It includes a new introduction filled with curious aphorisms, a handful of never-before-seen-or-heard quotations, and fan favorites from works over the years. These dubious offerings, collected from Snicket’s books, unpublished papers, and more, have been made pleasing to the eye by illustrations, select fan art, and design flourishes.

    but gets a cat instead!"Look what I got for my birthday! A pet dog!" says a little girl holding a... cat? Rocky doesn't listen or obey like all the other dogs. (Because Rocky is a cat.) And Rocky hates her leash and doesn't seem to like other dogs. (Probably because Rocky is a cat.) And rather than play fetch, Rocky prefers to... lick between her toes? Ew. Rocky is a bad "dog"! BUT Rocky doesn't bark, and is so cute when she sleeps in sunny spots. Maybe Rocky IS a good dog? (Or, you know, maybe Rocky is a cat.)Cat lovers and dog lovers alike will howl with laughter at this little girl's willful insistence that her cat is a dog. The hilarious ways in which cats and dogs are different are brilliantly illuminated with each turn of the page and will leave young readers and their grown-ups giggling.

    Sometimes you prevent war by hunting down your enemies. Grab the first 6 books of the action-packed Space Opera today! Superdreadnought 1: Integrated with a superdreadnought, the artificial intelligence known as Reynolds takes his ship across the universe in search of the elusive Kurtherians. He comes to a revelation. He’s better in the company of living creatures. He needs a crew. He needs information. And he needs to continue his search and destroy mission. Needing a crew and getting a crew are two completely different things. Reynolds is out of his element as he tries to reach out and make friends. Through it all, he has his vessel, the superdreadnought, the most powerful warship in the galaxy. Or so he believes. Superdreadnought 2: The superdreadnought takes the fight to Grindlevik 3. Battles in space, battles of wits, battles of ideologies – Reynolds in cyberspace, the crew on the ground. Everyone is engaged. The crew of the superdreadnought deploys on foot to win the hearts and minds of the native populations. The Grindlovians and the Telluride. Two races. One destiny. And an interloper who is making everyone take notice. Integrated with a superdreadnought, the artificial intelligence known as Reynolds has recruited a humanoid crew to help search the universe for the elusive Kurtherians. His mission continues, and no one stands in his way. Superdreadnought 3: The superdreadnought gates into the middle of a battle. Whose side do they take? Krokus 4. The system’s nexus of intelligent life. Who are the Krokans? Who are the Orau? Are there any good guys to protect?It’s a dog’s breakfast from the word go. Reynolds is positioned to keep the sides from killing each other while he and the crew try to figure out what is going on. With a healthy dose of skepticism, they dig deep trying to find the truth. Underwater. In the vacuum of space. On another planet. Clues and answers can be found by only the most diligent. All while fighting for their lives. It’s business as usual for the superdreadnought and his crew. Superdreadnought 4: The superdreadnought is hunting the cultists. The chase takes the ship and crew to Muultar, a planet tortured by three raging stars. Why would anyone live in such a place?But they do, and the Phraim-‘Eh cult has found fertile recruiting ground. Their plan is nothing short of taking over the whole planet.How are they doing it? And who are those other aliens in the system, the ones who take issue with Reynolds? They seem more powerful than the superdreadnought. Are they the long-lost Kurtherians, and Muultar is ground zero? Once again, Superdreadnought Reynolds is caught between a rock and a hard place. Don't miss out on the action of Superdreadnought 5 and Superdreadnought 6! Both included in this fantastic boxed set! --- PLEASE NOTE --- In this book is cursing.

    Budget cuts. Missing teaches. A not-so-cozy mystery. You think you know the world of magical boarding schools? Not from a teacher's perspective at a school for at risk youth. This book bundle includes: Reading, Writing and Necromancy; Budget Cuts for the Dark Arts and Crafts; My Crazy Hex-Boyfriend; Spell It Out for Me; Hex Crimes, and BONUS MATERIAL. BerateMyTeacher.com and Dear Jezzy: How Can a Devil Make an Angel Say Yes are also included in this bundle. WARNING: These books contain hex-rated mysteries. Book 6: Reading, Writing and Necromancy Happily ever after is short-lived for Clarissa Lawrence while working as the arts and craft teacher at Womby’s School for Wayward Witches. Clarissa must solve the mystery of who has been killing people and draining them of their magic. If Clarissa doesn’t discover who the murderer is, and how to save Derrick in time, he may be lost forever. Worse yet, she might turn up dead next. Book 7: Budget Cuts for the Dark Arts and Crafts Clarissa Lawrence’s lifelong dream of being a witch living in a magical realm is shattered now that she has been drained of her magic. As if living without magic isn’t horrible enough, her situation only grows more complicated when she realizes the man she once loved wants her dead, and she must trust a Fae enemy to help her solve her problems. Book 8: My Crazy Hex-Boyfriend Clarissa Lawrence lives in a world of talking unicorns, djinn who grant wishes, and sirens who seduce with their voice. But not all magic is rainbows and sunshine. Magic comes with a price, every favor requires one in return, and bargaining with a Fae can be lethal. If she accepts help from a Fae enemy to solve her problems, she might lose her soul in the process. If she doesn’t, Clarissa and her students might end up dead. Book 9: Spell It Out for Me Clarissa Lawrence knew there would be a price to pay for accepting the assistance of a Fae’s magic, though she never thought it would cost her heart. . . . When Clarissa is forced to choose between regaining her magic and the man she loves, she doesn’t know which is more difficult to give up. Book 10: Hex Crimes A Hexy Mystery. The Raven Court and the Silver Court know what Clarissa is and understand she is the key to solving the Fae Fertility Paradox. They will stop at nothing to renew their numbers and enslave anyone who can bear their heirs. With no one she can trust, friends keeping mysteries of their own from her, and no one to turn to, Clarissa has to hide her forbidden magic—as well as her student’s magic—a difficult task when Clarissa uncovers a plot to expose their secret powers. BONUS MATERIAL: Funny Short Stories from the Womby’s World and the Wrath of the Tooth Fairy crossover world BerateMyTeacher.com Dear Jezzy: How Can a Devil Make an Angel Say Yes

    The son of the man who killed my parents and little sister is finally within my reach but they seem to think it's too risky to take him out myself. Now with Mancini in the game I'm beginning to feel like I'm losing my hold on the situation as the three of them scheme and plot right under my nose.

    Wodehouse was an English author and one of the most widely read humorists of the 20th century. Wodehouse worked extensively on his books, sometimes having two or more in preparation simultaneously. He would take up to two years to build a plot and write a scenario of about thirty thousand words. After the scenario was complete he would write the story. Early in his career he would produce a novel in about three months, but he slowed in old age to around six months. He used a mixture of Edwardian slang, quotations from and allusions to numerous poets, and several literary techniques to produce a prose style that has been compared to comic poetry and musical comedy.

    This little bird does NOT want to be an enchanting creature. Will Sammy come to accept that he is a unicorn? Read the book to find out! About the Sammy Bird Series This is a picture book series about a quirky bird named Sammy and his amusing misadventures. Readers will discover that Sammy is a little red bird who has a BIG personality. The books in this series are humorous, engaging and sometimes deal with common childhood issues like bullying, fear of the dark, patience and friendship. The books are interactive and engages young readers to participate in the story. There are over 90 Books in the series and counting! From the Author I like to think of myself as a storyteller who brings families together through the medium of picture books. Whether it is between a parent or child or a grandparent and child. These stories are intended to be light-hearted and funny and most importantly the stories engage young readers to be a part of the story itself. My hope is that these books will help build upon a child's love for reading and allow families to laugh and enjoy spending time together. As a reader, you can look forward to many more adventures with this silly and fun-loving red bird! -V. Moua About the book: I Am NOT a Unicorn! This is a read aloud kids book. The target age range audience is appropriate for preschool and young children who are at the following stages of reading: I can read level 1, I can read level 2, I can read level 3 and I can read level 4. This is a book that any child will love, especially at bedtime. It is suitable for parents to read to their children. Also, grandparents will enjoy reading this book to their grandchildren. This series is part of the short bedtime stories for kids. Read this children's book FREE as part of your PRIME or Kindle Unlimited membership!

    But life as a bully is lonely, and if there's one thing Bernice really wants (even more than becoming a Hollywood stuntwoman), it's a true friend.After her mom skedaddles and leaves her in a new town with her aunt (who is also a real live nun), Bernice decides to mend her ways and become a model citizen. If her plan works, she just might be able to get herself to Hollywood Hills Stunt Camp! But it's hard to be kind when no one shows you kindness, so a few cheesy pranks may still be up her sleeve. . . .Get ready to laugh out loud--and maybe even shed a tear--with this fantastic new middle-grade voice!

    In her new book, Rosenberg addresses the overlooked and offbeat issues of mental illness, shedding light on topics that are off-limits, uncomfortable, or just downright embarrassing. This book details every challenging and awkward stage of Amanda’s journey with mental illness and how she manages what she calls her, “garden variety crazy.” These pages are a look at the everyday realities of mental illness - the particular kind of torture that is finding a good therapist, the challenges of figuring out the elusive correct mix of medications, and the appropriate responses with how to deal with the friend who insists ‘but you don’t look depressed’.

     They say everyone has a skeleton in their closet, but why are so many of them coming to life? Tempest and Amanda work at the only paranormal detective agency in the book and business is booming. This second box set gives you over 1000 pages of pulse-pounding hilarious paranormal mayhem as they get themselves into yet more hot water solving cases no one else would be dumb enough to take. Dead Pirates of Cawsand – A ghost ship has been spotted off the coast of a quiet Cornish village where gold coins were recently found. Now skeletal pirates are wandering the streets, hiding in the mist to strike fear into the local community because they want their gold back. But they didn’t count on England’s best paranormal P.I. turning up. His well-earned break soon goes sideways as murder, kidnap, and ghost hunters ruin his vacation and threaten more than just his life. In the Doodoo with Voodoo – A client cursed by a voodoo priest is the start of a case that will push Amanda to her very limits. With Tempest away in Cornwall, Amanda has no back up, but she wants to do this for herself even though the priest is a scary character. However, when BFF Patience goes missing, it’s a race against time to solve the case before someone dies and she is about to find out just how badly she underestimated her suspect. The Witches of East Malling – There’s a storm brewing. It’s late Autumn in England, but the wet weather is hiding a dark crime – witches using lighting to kill! Hired to investigate, Tempest soon becomes a target himself when he comes face to face with a witch and she knows who and what he is. Is he closing in on the coven, or are they closing in on him? The deadly conclusion with leave you breathless. Crop Circles, Cows, and Crazy Aliens – Aliens? Really? There are lights in the sky, crop circles in the fields and the cows are producing glowing milk. It’s Amanda’s case, and seems a simple one until the first body shows up. Suddenly she has a mystery person leaving her clues, an internet star trying to help her investigation and conspiracy nuts raining from the sky. Is this the first wave of an alien invasion, or something far worse? Whispers in the Rigging – His dad reported stories of a ghost in the old Royal Dockyard, but that’s not why Tempest is going undercover. He’s there because his dad was found unconscious in a dumpster when he tried to poke around. Now Tempest must find out what is going on, but all too soon he realises there’s something beneath the dockyard that is much worse than ghosts. The paranormal? It’s all nonsense, but proving might just get them killed.

    In the brooding, dark landscape of England, with its rolling hills and forgotten castles, the dark breeds evil in every shadow. With millions of pages read and thousands of books sold, the Tempest Michaels paranormal investigation series will grip you from the start and rob you of sleep as you continue turning pages until well after your bedtime. It is action-packed, but funny, fast-paced yet intriguing and there are 13 stories already published. Get the first 5 excitement-filled stories in this omnibus edition and save a pile against buying them individually. Paranormal Nonsense – Falsely advertised as a paranormal investigator, Tempest Michaels has a serial killing vampire to track down and a poltergeist to catch and all because his client is just too gorgeous to turn down. He’ll need to keep his mind on the job though as his investigation soon attracts unwanted attention from the police and a local gang of vampire worshippers. They won’t be the biggest problem though as his friends, his mum, and his dogs are going to help! The Phantom of Barker Mill – A hundred-year-old mystery proves irresistible for England’s only paranormal P.I. It looks like the perfect case, but someone, or perhaps everyone is lying to him, and as he closes in on the truth, he is led into a race against time that may cost him more than he is willing to pay. Oh, and his mum wants him to organise a baby shower. Zombie Granny - Tempest Michaels has a zombie problem. Crazy people craving human flesh have been appearing without warning in hoards in towns across Kent. He is just as mystified as everyone else, but when the elderly husband of the recent viral internet sensation known as Zombie Granny asks him to prove she is no such thing, he has to take the case. Then outside his office, people start screaming... Amanda Harper Paranormal Detective - When hysterical customers claim their shopping has been stolen by a ghost, the shopping mall manager calls the only paranormal investigation agency in the book. Meet Amanda Harper, Paranormal P.I. But its Amanda’s first day and nothing in life has prepared her for the bedlam that will follow. What is the truth behind the mysterious missing shopping bags? Does she have any idea what she is doing? And why, oh why, did she invite sassy BFF Patience Woods to help out. The Klowns of Kent – Before the dust settles following a zombie outbreak, a plague of evil clowns descends on the towns and villages of Kent, bringing havoc and crime. When petty theft escalates to murder, Tempest knows he must get involved, but they come looking for him first. What is their motive? Are they from hell? To find out he’ll have to follow them into their trap and fight his way out. The paranormal? It’s all nonsense, but proving might just get him killed.

    Simplest thing in the world to send for mail-order brides - minimum of fuss, only a marginal expense, and everyone's happy with the end result. Jack Milton agrees with Sully's reasoning and agrees to be one of the grooms. When he meets his prospective bride, he's more than pleased with the match - but that's short-lived when the girls arrive at the ranch. Wynonna Westcott and her friends agreed to become mail-order brides only after signing some very specific contracts and receiving guarantees of their happiness. When things turn out to be the exact opposite of what they've been promised, they must figure out their next step - or be stranded in Kansas forever. This is book one of a new comedic sweet Western romance series by popular author Amelia C. Adams.

    Through clever illustrations and written vignettes, Awards for Good Boys makes literal the tendency to applaud men for doing the absolute least and offers hilarious and cathartic cultural commentary through which we may begin to unravel our own assumptions about gender roles and how we treat each other, both online and in real life.

     When our hero, Victor, needs a pseudonym to avoid embarrassing his wife after deciding to pen a book about moving to Greece, he dusts off his original name of V.D. Bucket, the name he was stuck with after being abandoned in a bucket as a baby. As Victor adapts to his adopted homeland he battles an obsession with the exacting hygiene standards he demanded during his illustrious career as a public health inspector against the rather less exacting standards of rural Greece. His attempts to master the complexities of the language lead to a number of embarrassing misunderstandings. Crossing paths with the local undertaker, Spiros, was a stroke of good luck for Victor and Marigold, since he just happened to have a house to sell in the charming Greek mountain village of Meli. Of course Spiros didn’t explain the strange arrangement of an Albanian living in the stone shed at the bottom of the garden, or mention the old lady’s next door filthy habit of burning plastic every morning. He also failed to mention his late uncle had plunged to his death from the roof terrace, but did a wonderful job of selling them on the spectacular views. If you’re a fan of Greek travel and culture, then this book is a must.

    But not every notable life has gotten the send-off it deserves. His quest to right that wrong inspired Mobituaries, his #1 hit podcast. Now with Mobituaries, the book, he has gone much further, with all new essays on artists, entertainers, sports stars, political pioneers, founding fathers, and more. Even if you know the names, you’ve never understood why they matter...until now. Take Herbert Hoover: before he was president, he was the “Great Humanitarian,” the man who saved tens of millions from starvation. But after less than a year in the White House, the stock market crashed, and all the good he had done seemed to be forgotten. Then there’s Marlene Dietrich, well remembered as a screen goddess, less remembered as a great patriot. Alongside American servicemen on the front lines during World War II, she risked her life to help defeat the Nazis of her native Germany. And what about Billy Carter and history’s unruly presidential brothers? Were they ne’er-do-well liabilities…or secret weapons? Plus, Mobits for dead sports teams, dead countries, the dearly departed station wagon, and dragons. Yes, dragons. Rocca is an expert researcher and storyteller. He draws on these skills here. With his dogged reporting and trademark wit, Rocca brings these men and women back to life like no one else can. Mobituaries is an insightful and unconventional account of the people who made life worth living for the rest of us, one that asks us to think about who gets remembered, and why.

    His two hit shows, It's Garry Shandling's Show and The Larry Sanders Show, broke new ground and influenced future sitcoms like 30 Rock and Curb Your Enthusiasm, and his stand-up laid the foundation for a whole new generation of comics. There's no one better to tell Shandling's story than Judd Apatow--Shandling gave Apatow one of his first jobs on The Larry Sanders Show and remained his mentor for the rest of his life--and the book expands on Apatow's brilliant HBO documentary, The Zen Diaries of Garry Shandling, which won the 2018 Emmy Award for Best Documentary.Here, Apatow has gathered journal entries, photographs, and essays for a close-up look at the artist who turned his gaze back onto the world of show business to create a new language of comedy writing. Beyond his success, though, Shandling struggled with fame, the industry of art, and the childhood loss of his brother, which forever affected his personal and professional lives. A heart-wrenching letter to his brother--written in his journal as an adult--is the emotional center of this book that runs the gamut from hilarious observations to deep spiritual inquiry. His diaries show Shandling to be very self-aware and insightful, revealing a lesser known philosophical and spiritual side. Contributions by comedians and other leading lights of the industry, as well as people who grew up with Shandling and many who owe their careers to him, along with never-before-seen pieces of scripts that never made it to production and bits of stand-up from Shandling's writing that he never performed, shed new light on every facet of his life and work. This book is a testament to the lasting impact of the great Garry Shandling.

    

    She has more friends, fewer worries, and way more fun. So Dave decides to figure out how Lucy manages to stay so happy, to see if he can make his own life happier by doing the things she does (except for drinking from the toilet). He reconnects with old friends and tries to make new ones—which turns out to be a struggle, because Lucy likes people a lot more than he does. And he gets back in touch with two ridiculous but fun groups from his past: the Lawn Rangers, a group of guys who march in parades pushing lawnmowers and twirling brooms (alcohol is involved), and the Rock Bottom Remainders, the world’s oldest and least-talented all-author band. With each new lesson, Dave riffs hilariously on dogs, people, and life in general, while also pondering Deep Questions, such as when it’s okay to lie. (Answer: when scallops are involved.) Lessons from Lucy shows readers a new side to Dave Barry that’s “touching and sentimental, but there’s still a laugh on every page” (Sacramento Bee). The master humorist has written a witty and affable guide to joyous living at any age.

    But she has absolutely no idea who the deceased is. She’s told that he invited her on his deathbed, and he’s very keen for her to attend, so she heads off to a dilapidated old farm house in a remote part of Wales. When she gets there she discovers that only five other people have been invited to the funeral. None of them knows who he is either. NO ONE GOING TO THIS FUNERAL HAS EVER HEARD OF THE DECEASED. WHAT IS GOING ON?? Then they are told that they have 20 hours to work out why they have been invited in order to inherit a million pounds. Who is this guy and why are they there? And what of the ghostly goings on in the ancient old building? Featuring Mary Brown, star of the Adorable Fat Girl series of books, in her greatest adventure yet. This is BOOK NINE in the series, but can be enjoyed as a stand-alone book or as part of the series.

    The complete collection books 1-4 City of Demons - Book 1 If Buffy and Angel could have banged without him going all evil, then we would have had Wilomena Bastion. Dragons suck, like literally suck the life out of you if you let them. Trick is not to look them directly in the eyes, like ever. So, the day Wila finds herself staring into the most dangerous Draconi’s pretty, emerald peepers, she knows she’s royally fucked.No one said saving a bunch of kids from being served up as treats to the dragon liege was going to be easy. Options are limited—immediate execution or servitude, and Wila prefers to have her head remain firmly on her shoulders.Now, the self-professed dark avenger must work to bring down a resistance of demons hell-bent on making life difficult for the dragon liege. And, if that wasn’t bad enough, her new position comes with a partner, the dragon liege’s favoured demon enforcer; a creature of fire, fury and washboard abs who—let’s face it—is just gonna cramp her style.With the help of a ghostly receptionist, a talking dog and the thing that lives in the basement, Wila will be forced to take on a most dangerous task. It looks like some serious brooding is on the menu, because for the first time in forever, Wila isn’t sure she’s up to the job. A city filled with monsters needs a woman who can kick ass, and Wilomena Bastion is just the gal for the job. A kick-ass Urban Fantasy with a slow burn Whychoose Romance.  City of the Lost When life gives you lemons, punch it in the face.  Time is running out for Wila and Azren. With the Lost loose in the city and several mechanical monster’s hell bent on attacking civilians in the mix, it’s going to take several slices of lemon cake for the gang to get through the week. City of Everdark Fate can't hold all the cards, not if she doesn't have any fingers. Mission objective, to kick the dragon leige’s ass and take back what she’s stolen.Getting answers means recon and lies, coercion and revelations. But Wila will do whatever it takes to get her Kindred and her draconi prince back, even if it means venturing into a place of nightmares, a place of everdark and monsters with not a pot of tea in sight.The darkness awaits, and Wila better hope it doesn’t swallow her whole. City of War Triumph always comes at a price, but paying it is a bitch. With the Voice finally by her side Wila must take the final steps to claiming back what is rightfully hers. The Triumph Games are looming, and all the pieces are almost in place, but hurdles have a way of springing up at the last minute, and a trip right now could be fatal.War may be coming, whether Wila wants it, or not...

    At the age of twenty-nine-plus-one, I am at the top of my game...professionally.My personal life is a completely different story, one best left untold. Success has its sacrifices and I've been more than happy to put my search for Prince Charming on the back burner while I create fictitious tales of the naïve virgin, the broken girl with a torrid past, and the strong-willed student finding their own Mr. Right...Until one hell of a case of writer's block and a tight deadline set by my publisher forces me to go in search of inspiration.Armed with an account on every dating website out there, I devise a plan. Meet some nice, professional men. Go on a few dates. Hope one of them has the spark I need to finish my book. Then walk away.But plans are meant to be broken.My name is Molly Brinks, and this is my story about Writing Mr. Right.