Straight Jacket


Matthew Todd - 2012
    Part memoir, part ground-breaking polemic, it looks beneath the shiny facade of contemporary gay culture and asks if gay people are as happy as they could be – and if not, why not?Meticulously researched, courageous and life-affirming, Straight Jacket offers invaluable practical advice on how to overcome a range of difficult issues. It also recognizes that this is a watershed moment, a piercing wake-up-call-to-arms for the gay and wider community to acknowledge the importance of supporting all young people – and helping older people to transform their experience and finally get the lives they really want.

Getting Bi: Voices of Bisexuals Around the World


Robyn OchsPhillip A. Bernhardt-House - 2005
    Yet bi+ people can often experience isolation and invisibility--even from each other.Getting Bi addresses this by collecting 220 personal essays from 185 bi+ authors from 42 countries (from Australia to Zimbabwe).This book is a safe haven where bi people are celebrated and understood. Bi+ readers will feel comforted, heartened, nourished, and validated. You will find yourself nodding in agreement as you read. You will laugh at relatable experiences. You will receive validation about lived experiences you thought were unique to you. This book is a lifeline to those struggling. You will feel hope and a sense of relief. You will realize that, no matter how isolated as you are, you are not alone.You will hear many stories (which the mainstream leaves out) on the joys of being bisexual.Authors discuss their potential to be attracted--romantically and/or sexually--to people with genders similar to and different from their own. They describe liking, having feelings for, and falling in love with others. Many relate their identity to knowing who they desire, are interested in, and have crushes on. Therefore, many knew who they were bi long before they started dating. Others may never date more than one gender, but accept being bi as crucial to who they are.Each author questioned and subsequently arrived at a greater understanding of their sexuality. So these stories are helpful for anyone undergoing an identity exploration.Authors also bare their souls while processing feelings of anger, angst, doubt, fear, frustration, guilt, sadness, shame, and just being uncomfortable. This book explores many common struggles of bi+ people: - Authors describe dealing with external (or internalized) oppression of all types: biases, biphobia, bi-erasure, heterosexism, homophobia, stereotypes, myths, and general negativity. - Authors describe repeatedly being told they are 'confused' or 'going through a phase.' - Authors describe their struggles with labels. Many get creative and create new terms for themselves or use none at all (demonstrating the broad possibilities of self-identification). - Authors describe the fatigue of having to come out, not once, but over and over again. - Authors describe monosexual partners (and potential partners) who are insecure, feel inadequate, and fearful about dating bi people. - Authors describe seeking refuge in the larger LGBTQ+ community only to realize it may not the safe haven they hoped for. After joining organizations, they have found the 'B' in the LGBT to be in name only (despite all that bi+ people have contributed to the movement).Instead of - or in addition to - trying to fit into potentially less-inclusive LGBTQ+ groups, these authors show that you can seek out and become a member of your own bi+ community which proudly waves its own bi flag. For those who do not yet have bisexual friends, this book offers a peek inside your own community. Reading about others is a great first step to being a part of a supportive and accepting bisexual culture. It will likely inspire you to network, find allies, and build a strong supportive social circle. You will learn about bi+ community leaders, activists, and conferences advocating for the interests of bisexual people. You will learn about bi people who, over the decades, have been organizing movements to fight for social justice, equality, and the rights of each one of us. Drawing from so many different people who have many decades of reflection, you can't help but leave with a deeper understanding and eye-opening epiphanies. It will make you feel empowered and inspired to exercise your freedom of expression. It will give you more courage because of what others, like you, have done. As one reviewer wrote, "This book will make you laugh, cry, get angry, and hopefully open your eyes to the wide range of bisexual experiences."

Henry and June: From "A Journal of Love": The Unexpurgated Diary of Anaïs Nin, 1931-1932


Anaïs Nin - 1986
    From late 1931 to the end of 1932, Nin falls in love with Henry Miller's writing and his wife June's striking beauty. When June leaves Paris for New York, Henry and Anaïs begin a fiery affair that liberates her sexually and morally, but also undermines her marriage and eventually leads her into psychoanalysis. As she grapples with her own conscience, a single question dominates her thoughts: What will happen when June returns to Paris? An intimate account of one woman's sexual awakening, Henry and June exposes the pain and pleasure felt by a single person trapped between two loves.

Patriarchy Stress Disorder: The Invisible Inner Barrier to Women's Happiness and Fulfillment


Valerie Rein - 2019
    They feel stuck in lives that look perfect on the outside, yet on the inside, they're unfulfilled, plagued by the nagging feeling that there's got to be more. They feel guilty and ungrateful for feeling trapped in lives that are so good. They disown their pain, or numb it with excessive work, eating, drinking, shopping, social media, or exercising. They search for solutions in books, meditation, yoga, therapy, medication, and workshops, but something is still missing.They wonder: What's wrong with me?Dr. Valerie Rein has worked with hundreds of high-achieving women and discovered that the issues they all struggle with are not just personal—they're rooted in the ancestral and collective trauma experienced by women in the patriarchal world for millennia. In Patriarchy Stress Disorder, Dr. Rein describes how this trauma creates an invisible inner prison, that holds them back from stepping into the full power of their authentic presence, unbridled joy, outrageous success, freedom, and fulfillment.In this book, Dr. Valerie explains:- Why you're dissatisfied in spite of your achievements, and why it's not your fault.- What secretly drains 90 percent of your time and energy, and how to reclaim it.- How to upgrade your game of "How much can I bear?" to "How good can it get?"

Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself


Kristin Neff - 2011
    Kristin Neff comes a step-by-step guide explaining how to be more self-compassionate and achieve your dreams in lifeThe relentless pursuit of high self-esteem has become a virtual religion—and a tyrannical one at that. Our ultracompetitive culture tells us we need to be constantly above average to feel good about ourselves, but there is always someone more attractive, successful, or intelligent than we are. And even when we do manage to grab hold of high self-esteem for a brief moment, we can't seem to keep it. Our sense of self-worth goes up and down like a ping-pong ball, rising and falling in lockstep with our latest success or failure.Fortunately, there is an alternative to self-esteem that many experts believe is a better and more effective path to happiness: self-compassion. The research of Dr. Kristin Neff and other leading psychologists indicates that people who are compassionate toward their failings and imperfections experience greater well-being than those who repeatedly judge themselves. The feelings of security and self-worth provided by self-compassion are also highly stable, kicking in precisely when self-esteem falls down. This book powerfully demonstrates why it's so important to be self-compassionate and give yourself the same caring support you'd give to a good friend.This groundbreaking work will show you how to let go of debilitating self-criticism and finally learn to be kind to yourself. Using solid empirical research, personal stories, practical exercises, and humor, Dr. Neff—the world's foremost expert on self-compassion—explains how to heal destructive emotional patterns so that you can be healthier, happier, and more effective. Engaging, highly readable, and eminently accessible, this book has the power to change your life.

Master Your Emotions: A Practical Guide to Overcome Negativity and Better Manage Your Feelings


Thibaut Meurisse - 2018
    Weighed down by negativity? Are painful emotions keeping you from doing the things you love? Author and founder of WhatIsPersonalDevelopment.org Thibaut Meurisse wants to help you take back your life. Through his latest book, you

Women Who Love Too Much: When You Keep Wishing and Hoping He'll Change


Robin Norwood - 1985
    Therapist Robin Norwood describes loving too much as a pattern of thoughts and behaviour which certain women develop as a response to problems from childhood.

Rejection Proof: How I Beat Fear and Became Invincible Through 100 Days of Rejection


Jia Jiang - 2015
    Despite early success in the corporate world, his first attempt to pursue his entrepreneurial dream ended in rejection. Jia was crushed and spiraled into a period of deep self-doubt. But he realized that his fear of rejection was a bigger obstacle than any single rejection would ever be, and he needed to find a way to cope with being told no without letting it destroy him. Thus was born his "100 days of rejection" experiment, during which he willfully sought rejection on a daily basis - from requesting a lesson in sales from a car salesman (no) to asking a flight attendant if he could make an announcement on the loudspeaker (yes) to his famous request to get Krispy Kreme doughnuts in the shape of Olympic rings (yes, with a viral video to prove it).Jia learned that even the most preposterous wish may be granted if you ask in the right way, and here he shares the secret of successful asking, how to pick targets, and how to tell when an initial no can be converted into something positive. But more important, he learned techniques for steeling himself against rejection and ways to develop his own confidence - a plan that can't be derailed by a single setback.Filled with great stories and valuable insight, Rejection Proof is a fun and thoughtful examination of how to overcome fear and dare to live more boldly.

Arousal: The Secret Logic of Sexual Fantasies


Michael J. Bader - 2002
    Michael Bader offers a groundbreaking new theory of sexual desire. Drawing on his twenty-five years as a psychotherapist and psychoanalyst, Dr. Bader demonstrates that rather than being programmed by biology or society, sexual fantasies and preferences are really psychological antidotes to unconscious dangers. Armed with this novel theory, men and women will no longer need to feel ashamed about what arouses them or confused about what arouses others.

Assuming a Body: Transgender and Rhetorics of Materiality


Gayle Salamon - 2010
    By exploring and giving equal weight to transgendered subjectivities, however, Gayle Salamon upends these certainties. Considering questions of transgendered embodiment via phenomenology (Maurice Merleau-Ponty), psychoanalysis (Sigmund Freud and Paul Ferdinand Schilder), and queer theory, Salamon advances an alternative theory of normative and non-normative gender, proving the value and vitality of trans experience for thinking about embodiment.Salamon suggests that the difference between transgendered and normatively gendered bodies is not, in the end, material. Rather, she argues that the production of gender itself relies on a disjunction between the "felt sense" of the body and an understanding of the body's corporeal contours, and that this process need not be viewed as pathological in nature. Examining the relationship between material and phantasmatic accounts of bodily being, Salamon emphasizes the productive tensions that make the body both present and absent in our consciousness and work to confirm and unsettle gendered certainties. She questions traditional theories that explain how the body comes to be--and comes to be made one's own--and she offers a new framework for thinking about what "counts" as a body. The result is a groundbreaking investigation into the phenomenological life of gender.

10 Smart Things Gay Men Can Do to Improve Their Lives


Joe Kort - 2003
    Joe Kort explores as he guides readers through the complex journey of becoming a gay man. Dr. Kort points out that the beginning of this journey is about taking responsibility for your own life, and reading this book shows you exactly how to do this. Readers will learn how to identify their own internalized homophobia that is preventing many of gay men from leading satisfying lives and keeping them from having healthy relationships.Gay men often say that after coming out they feel better at first, but for many it doesn't last. 10 Smart Things Gay Men Can Do to Improve Their Lives provides a thorough map for navigating through the difficult terrain of becoming the gay man you want to be in the context of your family, of your sexual health, and ultimately of a partnered relationship.* Discover how to find your authentic gay self* Learn the five biggest mistakes gay men make when seeking a relationship* Understand how to understand loved ones who disapprove of you being gay* Overcome damaging patterns that are holding you back from a healthy sex life

After the Affair: Healing the Pain and Rebuilding Trust When a Partner Has Been Unfaithful


Janis Abrahms Spring - 1996
    The hurt partner often experiences a profound loss of self-respect and falls into a depression that can last for years. For the relationship, infidelity is often a death blow. This book helps readers survive this crisis.

Couple Skills: Making Your Relationship Work


Matthew McKay - 1994
    Couple Skills, Second Edition, revised and updated from the therapist-recommended classic, will show you how to work smarter in your relationship. You'll learn to improve communication, cope better with problems, and resolve conflicts with the one you love in healthy and creative ways. Each chapter teaches you an essential skill that supports greater relationship satisfaction and deeper intimacy.New to this edition is a chapter on using acceptance skills, developed from the revolutionary new acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT). These new approaches will help you to accept your partner's feelings (and your own emotions) without judgment. Using these techniques will help you decide what you really value in your relationship and then commit to acting in ways that further those values every day.

Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life


Marshall B. Rosenberg - 1999
    Nonviolent Communication partners practical skills with a powerful consciousness and vocabulary to help you get what you want peacefully.In this internationally acclaimed text, Marshall Rosenberg offers insightful stories, anecdotes, practical exercises and role-plays that will dramatically change your approach to communication for the better. Discover how the language you use can strengthen your relationships, build trust, prevent conflicts and heal pain. Revolutionary, yet simple, NVC offers you the most effective tools to reduce violence and create peace in your life—one interaction at a time.Over 150,000 copies sold and now available in 20 languages around the world. More than 250,000 people each year from all walks of life are learning these life-changing skills.

Queering the Color Line: Race and the Invention of Homosexuality in American Culture


Siobhan B. Somerville - 1999
    Analyzing a range of sources, including sexology texts, early cinema, and African American literature, Siobhan B. Somerville argues that the emerging understanding of homosexuality depended on the context of the black/white “color line,” the dominant system of racial distinction during this period. This book thus critiques and revises tendencies to treat race and sexuality as unrelated categories of analysis, showing instead that race has historically been central to the cultural production of homosexuality.At about the same time that the 1896 Supreme Court Plessy v. Ferguson decision hardened the racialized boundary between black and white, prominent trials were drawing the public’s attention to emerging categories of sexual identity. Somerville argues that these concurrent developments were not merely parallel but in fact inextricably interrelated and that the discourses of racial and sexual “deviance” were used to reinforce each other’s terms. She provides original readings of such texts as Havelock Ellis’s late nineteenth-century work on “sexual inversion,” the 1914 film A Florida Enchantment, the novels of Pauline E. Hopkins, James Weldon Johnson’s Autobiography of an Ex-Coloured Man, and Jean Toomer’s fiction and autobiographical writings, including Cane. Through her analyses of these texts and her archival research, Somerville contributes to the growing body of scholarship that focuses on discovering the intersections of gender, race, and sexuality.Queering the Color Line will have broad appeal across disciplines including African American studies, gay and lesbian studies, literary criticism, cultural studies, cinema studies, and gender studies.