Shit Happens


Eileen Wharton - 2012
    She's got problems though when bits of her ex-husband turn up in different places and the slimy DI Savage seems to be bending the evidence to link her to the death. Add the fact that she's being pressured into taking a ‘job’ by hard-nosed Vera Devlin from the estate and having to work in a topless bar to make ends meet and you can see she's up against it. Desperate to extricate herself from the mess she breaks into her old marital home to find the diary of her dead husband, except that his mother has taken up residence and arrives back early from bingo… Set against a backdrop of Northern council estate life, this fast paced, humorous novel exemplifies the problems caused by poverty, piles and unruly children, think Jeremy Kyle meets the Thorn Birds and you won't be far wrong!

Don Quixote, U.S.A.


Richard Powell - 1966
    He has, however, been a disappointment to his family in several ways: In appearance he is insignificant looking both in face and figure; he went to the University of Florida instead of Harvard where his forbears had been mainstays of the varsity crew for generations, and he studied agriculture instead of pointing himself toward a career in banking, bonds, or law. To say the least he is not apparently the stuff from which heroes are fashioned.As an agricultural expert specializing in fruit farming, Arthur becomes a Peace Corps volunteer and is assigned to the Republic of San Marco in the Caribbean. This weak-chinned Don Quixote soon acquires his Sancho Panza in the person of a rascally eleven-year-old boy, Pepe, who makes a bargain to be paid 400 pesos each time he saves Arthur's life. (The payments mount alarmingly!)The island's dictator thinks he can use Arthur to obtain military supplies with which to wipe out the band of guerillas in the hills who oppose his corrupt dictatorship. Failing in this the dictator decides to murder Goodpasture and cause an international incident by blaming it on the guerillas. This, he reasons, will bring the U.S. in to help stamp out the rebels.This plan also backfires (with Pepe's help, of course) and Goodpasture is taken prisoner and when they see he is a harmless eccentric he is appointed chief cook for the guerillas. From then on Arthur's life becomes a series of misadventures through which he moves serenely and from which he generally emerges unscathed (again with Pepe's assistance) until he surprisingly finds himself the guerillas' leader.Following one of the funniest bloodless revolutions imaginable Arthur Peabody Goodpasture ends up as Arthur el Gavilan, the new dictator of San Marco. "His strength was as the strength of ten because his heart was pure."

Texts from Dog II: The Dog Delusion


October Jones - 2013
    

Zombies Ate My Homework (Shingles Book 5)


John G. Hartness - 2018
    Wake his kid brother Andy up, get tormented on the school bus by the cool kids, try to avoid them while in school. Except it's Field Trip Day to the Science Museum, and now he's stuck with the meanest kids in seventh grade all day! But then the bus breaks down, so he doesn't even get to do anything cool at the science museum. It's okay, because an industrial accident brings science to Todd and his friends in the form of a zombie apocalypse. When the bus driver abandons them in the middle of a zombie outbreak, Todd, his brother Andy, his best friend Tarik, and their tomboy friend Mikayla take shelter in the first place they can find - an adult novelty store. What can you find in an adult toy store to fight zombies? Well…let's just say that the field trip was pretty educational, even if the kids never made it to the museum! Shingles is the comedy horror series from the gang that brings you the Authors & Dragons podcast. Like the podcast, these books are rated Not Safe For Anything.

Common As Muck!: The Autobiography of Roy 'Chubby' Brown


Roy Chubby Brown - 2007
    He thought his only career choice would be a life of crime. Fifteen years later, he was one of Britain's most successful comics, playing live to half a million fans a year as Roy 'Chubby' Brown.COMMON AS MUCK! tells an incredible story of hardships, heartbreak and, ultimately, success. From an impoverished childhood with his abusive father, to his brand of comedy too rude for television and his determined fight against throat cancer, COMMON AS MUCK! is a frank telling of a remarkable life, laced with Roy's irrepressible humour.

True Confessions of Margaret Hilda Roberts Aged 14 ¼


Sue Townsend - 2013
    Then got out of bed and had a brisk rub down with the pumice stone. I opened the curtains and saw that the sun was shining brightly. (A suspicion is growing in my mind that the BBC is not to be trusted.)Margaret Hilda Roberts is a rather ambitious 14 � year old grocer's daughter from Grantham. She can't abide laziness, finds four hours of chemistry homework delightful and believes she is of royal birth - or at least destined for great things. But Margaret knows that good things never come to those who wait . . .These are the secret diary entries of a girl born into an ordinary life, yet who might just go on to become something really rather extraordinary, and she is brilliantly brought vividly to life by bestselling author Sue Townsend, Britain's favourite comic writer for over three decades.'Essential reading for Mole followers' Times Educational Supplement'Wonderfully funny and sharp as knives' Sunday TimesSue Townsend is Britain's favourite comic author. Her hugely successful novels include eight Adrian Mole books, The Public Confessions of a Middle-Aged Woman (Aged 55�), Number Ten, Ghost Children, The Queen and I, Queen Camilla and The Woman Who Went to Bed For a Year, all of which are highly acclaimed bestsellers. She has also written numerous well-received plays. She lives in Leicester, where she was born and grew up.

Khushwant Singh's Joke Book III


Khushwant Singh - 1992
    Another super collection of naughty and not-so-naughty jokes, humorous anecdotes, comic interludes, hilarious situations and bitchy remarks, selected by Khushwant Singh from amongst the thousands contributed by his readers and fans - and some manufactured by him.

Funny Jokes: Ultimate LoL Edition (Jokes, Dirty Jokes, Funny Anecdotes, Best jokes, Jokes for Adults)


Adam Smith - 2016
    « Funny Jokes » is one of the best compilations of jokes in English that will surely hold your attention. In this book you can find all sorts of jokes that will amuse you and will create a good mood for you. Have fun reading these hilarious jokes!

Dead Jolly


Boone Brux - 2018
    Life is like that now that I’m a grim reaper. My holidays gets an extra helping of festive weirdness when the Casanova of mall Santas kicks the bucket. Instead of crossing over, he sets out to spread his own special brand of Christmas magic to a number of single ladies in town. I’ll admit, as a widow I’m hesitant to stop him from gifting his Christmas miracle, but as a reaper, it’s my job to pack his yule log and jingle bells off to the netherworld. After all, everybody knows Santa is only supposed to come once a year.

Fatherhood: The Truth


Marcus Berkmann - 2005
    But if you look closely most of them are about motherhood. Fathers get brief paragraphs about needing the odd cuddle themselves and being helpful for carrying the heavier elements of baby kit, but that's it. Fatherhood - The Truth, on the other hand, is a shed-friendly man's guide to the whole scary, life-changing business. One that looks beyond the happy-clappy cliches into the fiery hell of night feeds and projectile vomiting. 'Shit happens' will suddenly start to make sense as a phrase. Providing crucial information and insight on every aspect of parenting with pitch-perfect humour, it takes the dad-to-be on a white-knuckle ride from conception to the first birthday that also considers the emotional truths and selfish imperatives that fathers are usually asked to bury out of sight. A personally informed journey, Fatherhood - The Truth also touches all the crucial practical bases to make it a one-stop, know-it-all manual for the father-to-be.

how tom holland Eclipsed his dad


Dominic Holland - 2013
    Dominic Holland is this 'celebrity' dad - a professional stand-up comedian and author. He has appeared on television many times including The Royal Variety Show and Have I Got News For You. He has had his own award winning BBC Radio Four series, The Small World of Dominic Holland. A published author, journalist and writer for other famous comedians... So no slouch himself then. But his eldest son, Tom, played Billy in BILLY ELLIOT THE MUSICAL in London's West End and then was cast in the leading role of Lucas in the film, THE IMPOSSIBLE, now on general release in cinemas worldwide. As well as stand-up comedy, fortunately for this story, Dominic Holland has also taken a crack at Hollywood with his writing and compared to his son, with very contrasting results. Tom flies back and forth to LA to accept and give out awards while his dad still treads the boards and in smaller and less salubrious venues that most egos could bear. "How tom holland eclipsed his dad" is an extraordinary true story and a complete fluke. Without a drama lesson in site, let alone a stage school, how a young boy gets himself long listed for an Academy Award and gets to meet and mix with Hollywood's glitterati is an interesting tale on its own - but the story is hilarious when set against the endeavours of his dad. Written with great affection by a dad who is much more proud than he is bemused, this book will appeal to any parent who wants their kid to prevail and to any kid who casually dreams of becoming a star themself.

The Hungry Toilet


Jason Hall - 2012
    People are going missing and no one knows how or why. Your will meet some fantastic and hilarious characters on your way to solving the mystery. Includes the bonus story - Going on a Bat Hunt. The Hungry Toilet is a Top 10 Best Selling book with the author being described as the "New Roald Dahl of Rhyming." If your children enjoy Dr Seuss, Roald Dahl and David Walliams they will love this book too! Free to Amazon Prime Members Updated for all devices (Kindle, Paperwhite, Fire, HD, iPad & iPhone)

Cheat: A Man's Guide to Infidelity


Bill Burr - 2012
    Now, they impart all the wisdom, advice, and humor they picked up along the way, including how to: * Wipe away your shame and guilt—and get smart before you get hard * Conduct your filth with the right chick, in the right place, at the right time * Take an hour to shower and scour—and fight your worst enemy: glitter * Explain a strange scrunchy, hair extension, or pair of earrings to your girl * Navigate strip clubs, massage parlors, and women of the night * Lie like a woman—and call it quits without getting caught Featuring ten true stories from men who’ve lived the life and a link to watch Burr, DeRosa, and Kelly’s hilarious short film of the same name, Cheat is a wickedly smart field guide to philandering that will revolutionize your game.

Mrs Caldicot's Cabbage War


Vernon Coleman - 2002
    The novel has been filmed with Pauline Collins as Mrs Caldicot and John Alderton as the nursing home owner. This is the first Mrs Caldicot novel. (The second, which continues the story, is Mrs Caldicot's Knickerbocker Glory.) Both book and film have been widely praised. The Times described it as `Funny and poignant'. The Daily Express called it a `fairytale comedy'. The Daily Telegraph called it `Funny and poignant and socially relevant'. Cinema audiences stood and cheered at the end when the film was shown. The first of the books and films to see life through the eyes of the older citizen. `Mrs Caldicot's Cabbage War made me laugh out loud. Dr Coleman's lightness of touch and direct prose are all that one could wish for.' - Maxwell Craven in the Derby Evening Telegraph `Vernon Coleman really captures the personality of Mrs Caldicot. You'll be hooked and won't be able to put it down.' - Newton Abbott & Mid Devon `Understated British classic.' - Express and Echo `Funny and thought provoking novel.' - Western Morning News 'Funny and poignant...about a woman who decides to fight back, transforming the lives of those around her.' - The Times '...typically understated British classic.' - Express & Echo 'Humour, pathos and sympathy.' -Evening standard 'Witty, poignant and beautifully written' - Western Mail '...a little British comedy with a big heart.' Financial Times The author, Vernon Coleman, is a qualified doctor who has written over 100 books - many of which have appeared on bestseller lists. His books have sold over two million hardback and paperback copies in the UK and been translated into 24 languages. There is a list of his other novels on his Amazon author site. Bestselling non-fiction books include Bodypower. He is also the author of How to Stop Your Doctor Killing You. What the papers say about Vernon Coleman: Coleman is a very funny writer - This England Vernon Coleman writes brilliant books - The Good Book Guide No thinking person can ignore him - The Ecologist A godsend - Daily Telegraph Superstar - Independent on Sunday Compulsive reading - The Guardian His message is important - The Economist His advice is optimistic and enthusiastic - British Medical Journal The man is a national treasure - What doctors don't tell you Its impossible not to be impressed - Western Daily Press Outspoken and alert - Sunday Express Marvellously succinct, refreshingly sensible - The Spectator Probably one of the most brilliant men alive today - Irish Times King of the media docs - The Independent Britain's leading medical author - The Star Britain's leading health care campaigner - The Sun The patients' champion - Birmingham Post The doctor who dares to speak his mind - Oxford Mail He writes lucidly and wittily - Good Housekeeping etc etc

The Man on Platform Five


Robert Llewellyn - 1998
    The two are half-sisters and have always fought: now their argument rages over the trainspotter. Is he doomed to eternal nerdiness or could he be taught to appreciate the finer things in life? Eupheme bets he can: in time for Gresham's engagement party she will have transformed him into a man that her sister would want to sleep with.