Blackadder: The Whole Damn Dynasty is the book for you. Here, at last, for the first time, are the full scripts of one of British television's funniest comedies. Follow the hilarious misadventures of the despicable Edmund Blackadder and his dimwitted sidekick Baldrick through four centuries of hopelessly mangled English history: from medieval nastiness through English history: from medieval nastiness through Elizabethan and Regency glory, to the mud and sauteed rats of the First World War. Aside from the ball-bouncingly funny scripts themselves, Blackadder also features special bonus sections: "Instruments of Torture in the Late Middle Ages"; "Medieval Medicine" ("1. Herbs; 2. Leeches; 3. Saw It Off"); and an indispensable "Index of Blackadder's Finest Insults".

    'Santaland Diaries' contains six of David Sedaris' most profound Christmas stories, from Dinah, the Christmas Whore to Season's Greetings to our Friends and Family.

    The Onion has quickly become the world's most popular humor publication, misinforming half a million readers a week with one-of-a-kind social satire both in print (on newsstands nationwide) and online from its remote office in Madison, Wisconsin.Witness the march of history as Editor-in-Chief Scott Dikkers and The Onion's award-winning writing staff present the twentieth century like you've never seen it before.

    A ghost stalks the corridors, leaving strange letters for the management and killing people. Granny Weatherwax and Nanny Ogg, two Lancre witches, investigate. This is an adaptation of Terry Pratchett's Discworld novel, "Maskerade".

    trying to do the right thing. Like the award winning Fargo, The Big Lebowski is suffused with a droll humor and a verbal felicity that is as delightful as it is startling.

    Illustrated with aptly corny nature photographs, The Lost Deep Thoughts takes a profound plunge into the world of Handey's life-altering aphorisms. 96 photos.

    It was a cartoon that appeared for many years in daily newspapers and was loved by millions. (And was confusing to millions more.) But one day he stopped.Gary went into hiding. He made a couple short films. He played his guitar. He threw sticks for his dogs. They threw some back.Yet Gary was restless. He couldn't sleep nights. Something haunted him. (Besides Gramps.) Something that would return him to his roots in biology, drawing and dementia--a tale called There's a Hair in My Dirt! A Worm's Story.It begins a few inches underground, when a young worm, during a typical family dinner, discovers there's a hair in his plate of dirt. He becomes rather upset, not just about his tainted meal but about his entire miserable, wormy life. This, in turn, spurs his father to tell him a story--a story to inspire the children of invertebrates everywhere.And so Father Worm describes the saga of a fair young maiden and her adventuresome stroll through her favorite forest, a perambulator's paradise. It is a journey filled with mystery and magic. Or so she thinks.Which is all we'll say for now.What exactly does the maiden encounter?Does Son Worm learn a lesson?More important, does he eat his plate of fresh dirt?Well, you'll have to read to find out, but let's just say the answers are right under your feet.Written and illustrated in a children's storybook style, There's a Hair in My Dirt! A Worm's Story is a twisted take on the difference between our idealized view of Nature and the sometimes cold, hard reality of life for the birds and the bees and the worms (not to mention our own species).Told with his trademark off-kilter humor, this first original non--Far Side book is the unique work of a comic master.Now Larson can finally sleep at night.Question is, will you?(from the back cover)

    Now, with over 10,000 entries, this edition features the latest in expletives, sexual obscenities and lavatorial euphemisms.

    Out of work, our slacker decides to become a Macy's elf during the holiday crunch. At first the job is simply humiliating, but once the thousands of visitors start pouring through Santa's workshop, he becomes battle weary and bitter. Taking consolation in the fact that some of the other elves were television extras on One Life to Live, he grins and bears it, occasionally taking out his frustrations on the children and parents alike. The piece ends with yet another Santa being ushered into the workshop, but this one is different from the lecherous or drunken ones with whom he has had to work. This Santa actually seems to care about and love the children who come to see him, startling our hero into an uncharacteristic moment of goodwill just before his employment runs out. (1 man.)SEASON'S GREETINGS. Another funny, touching and twisted monologue about the season. (1 woman.)

    Featured in sixty alternative weeklies and college newspapers, representing a combined readership of more than six million, Red Meat has a fervent and loyal fan base. Max Cannon also has an official Red Meat web site, which averages 30,000 page views per week. It was honored with a Cyber Star award from Virtual City magazine.

    A weary atheist, Edgar challenges people to put their money where their mouths are about their faith. If someone really believes that the 16th reincarnation of the Dalai Lama is the one true incarnation, or that God is love, or that his grandfather's spirit lives in a tree, Edgar reasons he should be willing to bet money on it. Edgar is right. The metaphysical betting shops become incredibly popular as people of all faiths rush to outdo each other. After placing a bet, the bettor is given a receipt verifying the bet and amount, and a button with a question mark, stamped "Who knows?" It's no wonder that Edgar goes on to become the richest man in the world.As the competitive rage spreads, the betting shops indirectly cause a dangerous faith war, resulting in multiple popes, a beautiful messianic woman who claims to be God's messenger, and a technological meltdown with artificially intelligent home appliances. Meanwhile, there's an optimistic supermarket trolley climbing Mt. Everest, looking for God...

    George. Elaine. Kramer. We've followed their misadventures for nearly ten years on Thursday nights. Here, finally, are the scripts of the first two seasons that will take you back to the beginning of Seinfeld.Featuring the first 17 episodes ever aired, The Seinfeld Scripts contains all the great lines that have kept us laughing for years: the pilot episode, "The Seinfeld Chronicles," where it all began; George introduces his importer/exporter altar ego Art Vanderlay in "The Stakeout"; Kramer becomes obsessed with cantaloupe in "The Ex-Girlfriend"; Jerry and George meet Elaine's dad in "The Jacket"; is Jerry responsible for a poor Polish woman's death when he makes "The Pony Remark"?; Jerry and Elaine decide to become intimate again in "The Deal"; what will George do when he is banned from the executive bathroom in "The Revenge"?; and Jerry, George, and Elaine wait for a table in "The Chinese Restaurant."It's all here: the award-winning writing of Seinfeld, "the defining sitcom of our age". Created by Larry David and Jerry Seinfeld.Elaine: My roommate has Lyme disease. Jerry: Lyme disease? I thought she had Epstein-Barr syndrome? Elaine: She has this in addition to Epstein-Barr. It's like Epstein-Barr with a twist of Lyme disease. George: She calls me up at my office she says, "We have to talk." Jerry: The four worst words in the English language. Kramer: What a body. Yeeaaah...that's for me. Jerry: Yeah and you're just what she's looking for, too--a stranger, leering through a pair of binoculars ten floors up.

    Lancre could hardly be somwhere ordinary, could it?Magic glues the Discworld together and a lot of it ends up in Lancre, principal Kingdom of the Ramtop Mountains. Between Uberwald and Whale Bay, the Octarine Grass Country and the Windersins Ocean lies the most exciting and dangerous terrain in all Discworld. The Ramtops supply Discworld with most of its witches and wizards. The leaves on the trees move even when there is no breeze. Rocks go for a stroll in the evening. Even the land, at times, seems alive.The mapp may be only two-dimensional, but watch it very carefully and you might just see it jostle about a bit.

    Jack Lemmon played the 'schnook' who lends out his apartment for his boss's sexual trysts, only to fall in love with the boss's girl - played by Shirey MacLaine. The Apartment is a beautifully judged piece of writing saved from cynicism by Wilder and Diamond's tenderness towards their central characters. This edition of the screenplay includes a specially commissioned introduction by Mark Cousins.

    So whether he's crash-landing into a bowl of soup, modeling his favorite sandwich fashions, or prying his head from the cookie jar, GARFIELD always gets the last bite. And you'll be sure to get the last laugh!

    The Monsters in my Tummy comes straight from the heart and is Mr. Dirge's best work to date.

    Full of hearty rancour, they form a scathing chronicle of the upper echelons of postwar English society, and this omnibus edition contains the first four volumes of the celebrated series: FIELDING GRAY, FRIENDS IN LOW PLACES, THE SABRE SQUADRON and THE RICH PAY LATE.

    Nowhere else will you find such odes to self-absorption as:·Today I will equate material possessions with love. ·Today I will taunt others until they cry, then tell them they are too sensitive. ·Today I will make a new friend based solely on how he or she can further my career. ·Today I will respect my need to sabotage everyone else's success.

    Full of hearty rancour, they form a scathing chronicle of the upper echelons of postwar English society.

    For more than thirty years, Simon's wry and astute observations on life, love, and the human condition have been making audiences laugh uproariously even as his beautifully realized characters touch their hearts. These five plays, including the Pulitzer- and Tony-award-winning Lost in Yonkers, show Simon at the pinnacle of his extraordinary career. Rumors Lost in Yonkers Jake's Women Laughter on the 23rd Floor London Suite Including the author's introduction: "How to Stop Writing and Other Impossibilities"

    Luckily, Rumpole's got other ways to sway a jury. Meanwhile, an old friend's fiancee is looking suspiciously familiar. But from where? Once more, John Mortimer lets Rumpole maintain his hilariously cynical commentary throughout ceaseless smoking, drinking and uncommon lawyering.

    An illustrated humorous book by cross-dressing comedian, Eddie Izzard which contains material from his live shows.

    Her first act as leader was to appear before the cameras and do a V for Victory sign the wrong way round. She was smiling and telling the British people to f*** off at the same time. It was something we would have to get used to.'Things Can Only Get Better is the personal account of a Labour supporter who survived eighteen miserable years of Conservative government. It is the heartbreaking and hilarious confessions of someone who has been actively involved in helping the Labour party lose elections at every level: school candidate: door-to-door canvasser: working for a Labour MP in the House of Commons; standing as a council candidate; and eventually writing jokes for a shadow cabinet minister.Along the way he slowly came to realise that Michael Foot would never be Prime Minister, that vegetable quiche was not as tasty as chicken tikki masala and that the nuclear arms race was never going to be stopped by face painting alone.

    Its innovative and ground-breaking comedy inspired many of today's writers and performers. This audio programme features many of the legendary sketches, songs, and catchphrases, including "The Dead Parrot", "The Ministry of Silly Walks", "The Lumberjack Song", "And Now for Something Completely Different", and many more.

    An unequalled audience of 29 million viewers watched Eric and Ernie do their stuff while Angela Rippon high kicked, Eddie Waring turned back flips, and a confused Elton John complained of having been "all over the place" looking for the studio. "In that suit?", replied an incredulous Eric. This was the last great flowering of the music halls transported to nearly every sitting room in the UK. Graham McCann evocatively recreates the now lost world of entertainment where the young Eric Barthlomew and Ernie Wiseman learned their trade. But it was when they escaped sharing a bill with unicyclists and paper tearers and got on the box that they were finally crowned as a national institution. McCann does not hide the exhausting hard work that went into their shows, or stint in his praise for their scriptwriters, but it is in recalling their genius for making people of all classes laugh--apparently including the Queen who watched in 1977--that this book is a most affectionate and fitting tribute to two men who really did bring sunshine to millions. --Nick Wroe

    In celebration of the 75th Anniversary of Warner Bros., a compilation of the best -- and worst -- of the magazine's celluloid satires, including "Casabonkers", "The Ecchorcist", "Superduperman", and many more, by the Usual Gang of Idiots.

    When the barbarian with the lowest IQ in the world starts passing out words of wisdom and advice, all of his old cohorts and enemies come out of the woodwork to find out what's wrong, and no one's more confused than Rufferto, the most loyal little dog in Plentia.

    22 full page portraits.

    The mix of brilliant wordplay, mental slapstick and surreal clowning ensures the popularity of Spike Milligan, Peter Sellers and Harry Secombe will never wane.Goon but not forgotten. From 1952 to 1960 the Goons ruled the airwaves, the most celebrated and influential clowns in the history of radio.It’s another crazy quartet of cult comedy classics from Peter Sellers, Spike Milligan, Harry Secombe and the rest of the Goony gang in festive mode.They’ll have you brimming over with Christmas cheer!

    

    Maureen Lipman continues to examine the warp and weft of her own life's rich tapestry - including doing the weekly wash in a floor-length taffeta gown before going off to shake hands with HM The Queen.

    McManus has been compared to Mark Twain. He finds comedy in peoples' everyday lives and shares it with wit and understanding. Here, he tells listeners everything they need to know about fishing a crick--and then some!

    Illustrating the inherent importance of the ability to laugh, Klein gives readers the power to face the end of life with dignity and compassion.Based on the author's years of giving speeches and leading workshops for patients and their caregivers and families, The Courage to Laugh will be the first book to:* show how patients use humor to cope when life is threatened* offer hope and encouragement to readers dealing with loss* give readers permission to laugh when they feel like crying* explain how popular culture can ease death-related fears* provide uplifting quotes and jokesWith poignant wisdom from children, parents, doctors, and nurses, combined with the spirited writing of the author, The Courage to Laugh is a lifesaving tool for everyone experiencing a serious illness and for the people who care for them.

    

    Kelly mines a rich seam of humour and sadness out of the resilience of a people rich in hospitality and generosity, imagination, culture and tradition.

    With the help of David Tushingham, he has adapted Salman Rushdie's classic children's novel, Haroun and the Sea of Stories for the stage. Set in an exotic eastern landscape peopled by magicians and fantastic talking animals, Rushdie's novel inhabits the same imaginative space as Gulliver's Travels, Alice in Wonderland and The Wizard of Oz. Haroun sets out on an adventure to restore the poisoned source of the sea of stories. On the way he encounters many foes, intent on draining the sea of all its storytelling powers.

    Not yet strictly men of leisure, they feel entitled to enjoy at least some of life’s indulgences – like a round of golf and a pint. The cost of living is cheaper in the West Country after all.Janice Dawson also has her daily round – a host of small jobs that earn her enough money to keep her family afloat. But Janice has had enough. Drowning her sorrows in her cooking sherry, she hits on a novel idea – a foolproof get-rich-quick-scheme – for Sam.Meanwhile, Beverley Callard, the not so proud mother of Tim’s three-year-old daughter, is also resolving to try her man’s luck. Tim’s latest crazy idea is going to materialize – or else.Never underestimate the power of women. Before the men know what has hit them, they find themselves whisked from the fairway and treading very unfamiliar turf. And as for the women – well, they’ve never had them so good.

    This collection features Catbert, evil human-resources director, whose fluffy appearance is a veil of deception.

    These are the chilling facts for those with iron constitutions, from one who has looked the family right in the eye and survived - so far.

    

    Elomire, the troupe's renowned leader, is furious because Prince Conti, the troupe's patron, is forcing a street performer, Valere, upon them. Elomire finds Valere and his work to be revolting and base, while Bejart, the troupe's second in command, is worried about offending the Prince, and, thereby, losing their patron. Valere is a terrible bore, who loves nothing more than the sound of his own voice, which he amply demonstrates at his first entrance, where upon he delivers an uproariously funny and extended monologue. Elomire can barely withhold his contempt, but Valere is completely unaware of the barbs tossed his way. The Prince arrives, anxious to see how Elomire and Valere are getting along, having high hopes for their union. The Prince feels Elomire's work has grown stagnant and that the troupe needs new blood. Elomire, convinced that Valere will never be able to work in an ensemble situation, challenges Valere to present one of his plays with the rest of the troupe assists as a compatibility test. The strategy backfires, however, as Valere not only works well with the troupe, but the troupe finds themselves enchanted with Valere and his high jinks theatrics. Seeing this, the Prince immediately offers Valere a place with the troupe over Elomire's protests. Elomire, unable to compromise his artistic principles, strikes out on his own.

    Myriad underground passages harbor mementos of horrific history, as the young dragons and au pair discover in their explorations.Through this spellbinding narrative, with its brigands, coiffeur, Count Ghastly, moguls, alchemical queen, courtesan, contrary cartographer, and cross-dressing cowboys, Gordon illuminates the mysteries of usage, speeding the reader to expertise with such confusions as decry/descry, fatal/fateful, displace/misplace, precipitate/precipitous, and masterful/masterly. A companion lexicon, which includes anomie, farouche, quidnunc, internecine, obloquy, fatidic, and noetic, continues the tales and intrepid trek, all the while treating war, power, and celebrity cults with satirical wit and insight.With Out of the Loud Hound of Darkness Gordon lures you into the intricacies and pleasures of language through a brooding, hilarious fabric of fiction.

    It shows how comedy has been used to sustain, challenge and to change power relationships in society. The contributors, who include Stephen Wagg, Mark Simpson, Stephen Small, Paul Wells and Frances Williams, offer readings of comedy genres, texts and performers in Britain, the United States and Australia. The collection also includes an interview with the comedian Jo Brand. Topics addressed include: * women in British comedies such as Butterflies and Fawlty Towers * the life and times of Viz, from Billy the Fish to the Fat Slags * queer readings of Morecambe and Wise, the male double act * the Marx brothers and Jewish comedy in the United States * black radical comedy in Britain * The Golden Girls, Cheers, Friends and American society.

    Luann, her best friend Beatrice and her irritating older brother Brad show us that sometimes, you just have to make your own rules, for example Whatever you''re doing, make it look harder than it is.'