novels. Follow Agent Ward as he searches for the clues that link a missing chemist to Sirens, Strippers and Snake Monsters in The Curious Case of the Kidnapped Chemist.Dodge the walking dead in Zombie Apocalypse Now when the eponymous undead attack Parliament and ... er ... Hull.Finally, thrill at the latest adventure Do Dragons Dream of Burning Sheep in which no sheep are burned, but dragons just might dream.

    This book was brought to you by the one and only - THE CLOWN FACTORY.

    Stirring speeches to rapt juries, triumphant press interviews and enormous fees paid by grateful clients. He can see it all. But unfortunately, he has reckoned without Judge 'Bonkers' Clarke, The Honourable Mr 'Sourpuss' Boniface and a range of other equally terrifying, grumpy and borderline insane judges - not to mention tricky solicitors, bent coppers and dodgy defendants.

    Or to inspire people to flock to the dancefloor as a DJ.Frank soon discovers that the tempting sins of the flesh have consequences; when Frank becomes a real father, he realises he is going to need a miracle to feed the five thousand...

    His plan may have worked all too well. Now, to save us from creeping socialism, death panels and everything progressive, he has written the antidote, Tea Party Fairy Tales. In Tea Party Fairy Tales, Red Riding Hood stands up for her Second Amendment rights, the Little Match Girl defends the magic of the free market to her grave, and Jack of “Beanstalk” fame shows the moral decay of a life on the dole. For those who find these too long-winded, more than a dozen Aesop’s Fables have been reworked to illustrate the eternal truths of American conservatism in handy, shouting-points form. Tea Party Fairy Tales deserves a place on every young American’s nightstand, right next to the Rush Limbaugh plush doll and a Smith & Wesson automatic, to help prevent the destruction of everything good and true in American culture. “Wake up, Storybookland! Before it’s too late!”

    And because Geoff Norcott is so funny, it unfortunately means I can't dismiss his views entirely. It's so important to have a friend you can disagree with but still admire and Geoff can be that friend to you!' - Katherine Ryan "I've always thought the benefit of having batsh*t parents is it increases the chance of you growing up funny. It's certainly worked for Geoff Norcott." - David Baddiel 'Voting Conservative is like buying a James Blunt album: loads of people have done it, but weirdly you never meet them ...' Comedian Geoff Norcott should have been Labour through and through. He grew up on a council estate, both of his parents were disabled, and his Dad was a Union man. So, how was it that he grew up to vote Tory? In this courageously honest and provocative memoir, Geoff unpicks his working-class upbringing and his political journey from left to right. Raised by a fierce matriarch and a maverick father on a South London council estate where they filmed scenes for The Bill, Geoff spends his youth attempting to put out kitchen fires with aerosols and leaping in and out of industrial skips. But as he reaches adolescence, his political views begin to be influenced by major events including the early 90s recession, the credit crunch, and a chance encounter with Conservative PM John Major. As an adult, Geoff begins to have the gnawing feeling that the values and traditions he grew up with no longer match Labour's. And, as Brexit appears, he feels even more like a double agent operating behind enemy lines. Written with warmth, wit and often laugh-out-loud humour, Where Did I Go Right? is Geoff's attempt to understand why he ended up voting 'for the bad guys', and why blue-collared conservatism could be here to stay. Praise for Geoff Norcott: 'A mature, sharp take on modern politics' - The Sunday Times 'Gently abrasive, but that's what makes him so entertaining... with a sharp, self-knowing wit' - The Times 'Geoff Norcott genuinely has something original to say' - New European 'A refreshingly brilliant new comedic voice' - Spectator 'Norcott is an out-and-out rebel' - ExpressReviewWHERE DID I GO RIGHT? is sharp, considered, insightful, and helped me make sense of 'the other side'. And because Geoff Norcott is so funny, it unfortunately means I can't dismiss his views entirely. It's so important to have a friend you can disagree with but still admire and Geoff can be that friend to you! ― Katherine RyanBook DescriptionGeoff Norcott's colourful memoir of growing up Labour, but now voting Tory.About the AuthorComedian and writer Geoff Norcott is well known for his regular appearances on BBC2's The Mash Report, BBC1's Mock The Week, and Radio 4's The News Quiz. In 2019, he fronted his own BBC2 documentary How The Middle Class Ruined Britain and he has four Radio 4 specials to his name, one of which won the BBC Radio Award for Best Comedy Production. A satirical commentator in many national newspapers, Geoff has also been profiled in The Times and t he Guardian. He lives with his wife and son in Cambridgeshire.

    Wayne and Scout shoot to kill. In a single night they find out the hard way what's real and what's not, who's the hero and who's the villain. The USA watches slack-jawed as Bruce and Wayne together resolve some serious questions. Does Bruce use erection cream? Does art imitate life or does life simply imitate bad art? And most of all, does sugar-pie really love his honeybun?

    This book is a window into the world of Danny Dyer - and he's seen more of the world than most so he's got one or two things to say about it.Tackling such vital questions as 'Where have all the old school boozers gone?' 'Are there such things as ghosts?' and 'Am I middle class?' Danny shares his unique take on life with characteristic honesty and humour and reveals why it is that:· What goes around comes around - he learnt the hard way· You can take the boy out of the East End but you can't take the East End out of the boy· Harold Pinter is a diamond geezer · He told the media training expert to do one· Science can prove that West Ham are the best football club in the world· Him and Joanne are like a team - he's Paul Gascoigne, she's David Batty· The human race isn't evolved enough for TwitterSo, hold on to your titfer, it's gonna be a bumpy ride!

    Richard Derrington's doing it tough.Since Anna trashed him his job seems pointles, Tuesday seems moderately fucked by ten, his tennis appalling.....long periods of complete crap, punctuated by flashes of very random glory and the future bleka.This is a hiatus? There I was thinking I was sinking and it's just a hiatus.Apart from his friens, the only thing keeping Richard going is his wicked sense of humour.Then things look up.

    He loves them so much, in fact, that he's decided to invent his own ... and get them into the dictionary. But, as Alex discovers, gaining entry into the official lexicon takes more than just a gentle word in the ear of the editor. Evidence is required - Alex needs proof that his words are being spoken by more people than just him and his mum. He needs what the dictionary authorities call a 'corpus' of examples, hard data showing that his new words are in widespread and long-term usage. So a corpus he resolves to create, no matter what obstacles he might meet on the way. This is the epic and ridiculous story of one man's struggle to break into the dictionary. From covert word-dropping on Countdown to wilfully misinforming schoolchildren, Alex tries it all in his quest for dictionary-based immortality. Does he succeed? Are you already using one of Alex's words without realising it? You won't regret spending your hard-earned honk on this hugely entertaining book.

    

    After reading this book, you’ll be far better equipped to deal with all that Finland can throw at you, from sauna spankings to drunken Santas. You will understand very Finnish problems like these:> When you have to explain for the 100th time that Moomin isn’t a hippo.> When everybody else’s name is like something from The Lord of the Rings.> When the weather forecast for Midsummer matches that for Christmas.> When there’s over 60 words for “snow”, but not one for “please”.> When alcohol is a universal permission to go totally insane.> When you realize you’re only one country away from North Korea.> When you forget that summer cottage is another word for labour camp.> When you have to share the sauna with a masochist.> When people don’t get your sarcasm."101 Very Finnish Problems is a fantastically funny book. I guarded it with my life – but then I did read it on my smartphone. My 102nd very Finnish problem was that it ended too soon." – André Wickström, comedian

     Sometimes society is wrong. Meet the best of the absolute worst-the perpetrators of the most wretched demonstrations of moral conduct ever:Super Snorer Terrible Baby Namer Hot Water User-Upper Express Checkout Cheater No-Umbrella Etiquette Lady Eight-Minute Voicemail Leaver Dude Who Takes Board Games Too SeriouslyPeople Who Deserve It exposes everyone and everything whose behavior, life choices, and sometimes odor leave humanity with only one painful option: a punch to the face.

    1 bestselling author Robert Bryndza.Coco Pinchard has just turned forty, and is feeling fabulous. Her long-held dream to be a writer has been realised, with the publication of her debut novel, her son, Rosencrantz, is attending a prestigious London drama school, and her musician husband, Daniel, seems more in love with her than ever. Coco feels poised to enter an exciting new chapter in life.When the New Year dawns after a hideous Christmas spent with her awful in-laws, Coco catches Daniel in bed with a younger woman, her novel flops, and Rosencrantz goes spectacularly off the rails.As her once-happy life unravels, and any chance of an exciting new chapter recedes into the distance, Coco's new iPhone becomes her confessional.Through emails to loyal friends Christopher, a neurotic middle-aged socialite, and Marika, a slightly alcoholic schoolteacher, Coco begins to document her seemingly endless (and often hilarious) run of bad luck.When Coco reaches the top of the local allotment list (after putting her name down nineteen years previously) she meets the drop-dead gorgeous Adam, and she's back in the world of dating as a single forty-something. Read the emails that tell the hilarious, feel-good tale of Coco picking up the pieces!Fans of rom coms by Sophie Kinsella will be glued to the pages of this totally addictive page-turner.