So when things go wrong, he’s at a loss to explain why. How does his soccer team manage to lose to a school with a sixty-game winless streak?  What’s he doing at the movies on a Friday night . . . with GINA? And why, oh why is one of his classmates (hint:  she’s Nate’s dream girl) suddenly moving 3,000 miles away?  It’s all enough to make a sixth-grade superstar feel . . . well, not so super. But you can’t keep a good man down, and Nate’s still got pals like Teddy, Francis, and Chad to cheer him up. Sure, their methods aren’t always warm and fuzzy, but Nate doesn’t mind. After all, what’s a little noogie between friends?

    A wedding we shouldn't have been invited to. Two unexpected romances. A scoop of sexy. And a double scoop of chaos. Lydia is a good girl who is above revenge. Good thing she has us. No one cheats on our best friend and rides off into the sunset with his new bride. What was supposed to happen? Unleash hell like two badasses. It was a simple plan, but we failed to anticipate a few things. A rogue prosthetic, an accidental exorcism, and dominatrix strippers willing to take things way too far, just to name a few. What actually happened? As usual, nothing went as planned, especially when two sexy distractions popped into the mix. We were there to avenge our friend, not to get entangled with two cocky, arrogant men, who don’t like to hear the word no. I was sure we could resist. I mean, it was only a week, right? What could happen in a week? Not intrigued enough? There's totally a duck in this story. Ah yeah. Now we have your undivided attention. Enjoy our chaos. #WorthIt

    A must-have addition to any political observer's coffee table. "Thorough"—Ben Shapiro, nationally syndicated columnist and New York Times bestselling author

    His partner has a career-threatening gambling problem and, oh yeah, Bunny's finally been given a crack at the big time. He’s set the task of bringing down the most skilled and ruthless armed robbery gang in Irish history. So the last thing he needs in his life is yet another complication.Her name is Simone. She is smart, funny, talented and, well, complicated. When her shocking past turns up to threaten her and Bunny’s chance at a future, things get very complicated indeed. If the choice is upholding the law or protecting those he loves, which way will the big fella turn?Angels in the Moonlight is a standalone prequel to Caimh McDonnell’s critically acclaimed Dublin Trilogy, and it is complicated.

    Serrano breaks down debates that NBA fans didn’t even know they needed, from the classic (How many years during his career was Kobe Bryant actually the best player in the league?) to the fantastical (If you could assign different values to different shots throughout basketball history, what would they be and why?). With incredible art from Arturo Torres, this book is a must-have for anyone who has ever stayed up late into the night debating basketball’s greatest moments, what-ifs, stories, and legends, or for those who are discovering the mythology of basketball for the first time.

    You can call it a "locational" hazard, if you will.That’s Tomahawk for you.We rank people based on just how crazy they are. And the four craziest families in town are called the Wild Ones. I’m on the bottom tier of those, so technically I’m not as crazy as the other Wild Ones. In fact, if it wasn’t for my brothers and their endless antics, I wouldn’t be considered a Wild One at all. Ahem. Sure. We’ll go with that.Anyway, I have a best friend who endures it all with me. Benson Nolans is my one, constant favorite person.Without him, I’d probably go really crazy, and not the fun kind. It’d be ridiculous, after three years of a flawless friendship, to mess that all up by falling for him.I mean, even if we did get a little too close one night, it’d be reckless endangerment. Even if we did suddenly feel the chemistry that’s always been there and stop toeing the line, it’d be a foolish risk to take.It’d be stupid to start hoping a really fun, but completely irrational, night with zero inhibitions might accidentally happen.Really stupid… Right?*NO cliffhanger*Stand-alone book *Sexual Content*Adult language*Completely, 100% crazy

    But when his wife’s office holiday party turns into a deadly hostage situation, he has to save her life before he can get home in time for Christmas!The unconventional fan-favorite movie Die Hard is now an illustrated storybook—complete with machine guns, European terrorists, and a cop who’s forced to rely on all his cunning and skills (and the help of a fellow officer) to save the day. Based on the classic "Night Before Christmas" poem and filled with whimsical illustrations, this cleverly reimagined homage is destined to become a holiday classic.*Contains adult material including violence and strong language. Reader discretion is advised. Ho-ho-ho.

    Now read the legend of how it all began . . .Long ago, in an ancient and distant realm called the Kingdom of Backyard, there lived a warrior named ROCK.Meanwhile in the Empire of Mom’s Home Office, a second great warrior sought the glory of battle. And his name was PAPER.At the same time, in the Kitchen Realm, in the tiny village of Junk Drawer, lived a third warrior. They called her SCISSORS.These three were the strongest, smartest, and fastest in all the land. Time and again they beat the most fearsome opponents they could find: an apricot, a computer printer—even frozen, breaded, dinosaur-shaped chicken nuggets! But when the warriors finally meet each other, the most epic round of battles begins . . . and never ends. That is why, to this day, children around the world honor these worthy adversaries by playing ROCK, PAPER, SCISSORS!

    Their glory days long past, the mercs have grown apart and grown old, fat, drunk - or a combination of the three. Then an ex-bandmate turns up at Clay's door with a plea for help. His daughter Rose is trapped in a city besieged by an enemy one hundred thousand strong and hungry for blood. Rescuing Rose is the kind of mission that only the very brave or the very stupid would sign up for.It's time to get the band back together for one last tour across the Wyld.

    A baaaaaaaaaad seed. How bad? Do you really want to know? He has a bad temper, bad manners, and a bad attitude. He’s been bad since he can remember! This seed cuts in line every time, stares at everybody and never listens. But what happens when one mischievous little seed changes his mind about himself, and decides that he wants to be—happy?With Jory John’s charming and endearing text and bold expressive illustrations by Pete Oswald, here is The Bad Seed: a funny yet touching tale that reminds us of the remarkably transformative power of will, acceptance, and just being you. Perfect for readers young and old, The Bad Seed proves that positive change is possible for each and every one of us.

     You don’t have to travel through time to experience catastrophe on an epic scale, as the disaster-magnets from St Mary’s are about to find out… For Max, what starts off as a perfectly normal week is about to degenerate into a quagmire of egotistical film producers, monumental pub crawls, unsigned contracts, exploding rocks, Professor Rapson and his megaphone, the world’s biggest bacon butty – and Angus – the third component of the most notorious love triangle since Menelaus, Paris and Whatshername – the one with the face they launched ships off. A Perfect Storm of calamity, devastation and misfortune only ever encountered at St Mary’s.

    He is twelve inches tall, full of fluff, and really, really bad at being a hero. Magically animated and discarded by his maker as a failed experiment, he is saved by a little girl. But she's got problems of her own, and he might not be able to help her. Fortunately for the little golem, he's quick to find allies, learn skills, gain levels, and survive horrible predicaments. Which is good, because his creator has a whole lot of enemies... Warning: Contains profanity and violence.

    She also happens to be the U.S. Marshals’ best bet to keep a family alive. . . .The marshals are looking for the perfect girl to join a mother, father, and son on the run from the nation’s most notorious criminals. After all, the bad guys are searching for a family with one kid, not two, and adding a streetwise girl who knows a little something about hiding things may be just what the marshals need.Nicki swears she can keep the Trevor family safe, but to do so she’ll have to dodge hitmen, cyberbullies, and the specter of standardized testing, all while maintaining her marshal-mandated B-minus average. As she barely balances the responsibilities of her new identity, Nicki learns that the biggest threats to her family’s security might not lurk on the road from New York to North Carolina, but rather in her own past.

    For two decades, Stuart McLean travelled across the country every December with The Vinyl Cafe Christmas tour, bringing the gift of laughter and light during the darkest days of the year. The hilarious world of Dave and Morley was even more real--more vibrant--during the holidays. For many, the Vinyl Cafe Christmas stories became beloved family traditions. Now, for the first time, they have been brought together in this special collection--including the classic Dave Cooks the Turkey, as well as five new, never before published Christmas stories. From mishaps with the Turlingtons and the tale of a young Dave's first holiday disaster to the surprising Christmas Ferret and the touching sign off in The Christmas Card, these wonderful new stories will delight for years to come. Brimming with charm and humour (often at Dave's expense), these twelve stories entertain on every page, reminding us what the holidays are all about.

    Today, their daily YouTube talk show, Good Mythical Morning, is the most-watched daily talk show on the Internet, and nearly 12 million subscribers tune in to see the guys broadcast brainy trivia, wild experiments, and hilarious banter (not to mention the occasional cereal bath). Now the award-winning comedians are finally bringing their “Mythical” world to the printed page in their first book.A hilarious blend of autobiography, trivia, and advice, Rhett & Link's Book of Mythicality: A Field Guide to Curiosity, Creativity, and Tomfoolery will offer twenty ways to add “Mythicality” to your life, including:Eat Something That Scares YouMake a Bold Hair ChoiceInvent Something RidiculousSay “I Love You” Like It's Never Been SaidSpeak at Your Own FuneralThe goal of these offbeat prompts? To learn new things, laugh more often, and earn a few grown-up merit badges along the way. Heartfelt and completely original, this book will be the perfect gift for anyone looking for a fresh dose of humor and fun.

     Question: What would you do if you lost your best friend’s horse? Relax. This is purely hypothetical. But, seriously, what would you do? It’s an easy Sunday at home while your wife’s at work, and you look away for two minutes to make lunch for a couple of demanding toddlers. Somehow, by magical mist or advanced parkour, the monster is gone. Okay, fine. It’s not hypothetical. The guy off of work is me, Thatcher Kelly, and the horse I lost is actually Kline’s ginormous dog. But I still have his kids and demon cat, along with my own child and pig. I’m practically batting .667 at this point, and that’s a pretty good average. Right? Or one short jump from the devil’s number. Motherfluffer.

    Elaborate doodles, beautiful illustrations, often with captions that she posts online. At her signings, fans show up with printouts of these drawings for Jenny to autograph. And inevitably they ask her when will she publish a whole book of them. That moment has arrived.You Are Here is something only Jenny could create. A combination of inspiration, therapy, coloring, humor, and advice, this book is filled with Jenny’s amazingly intricate illustrations, all on perforated pages that can be easily torn out, hung up, and shared. Drawing on the tenets of art therapy—which you can do while hiding in the pillow fort under your bed—You Are Here is ready to be made entirely your own.Some of the material is dark, some is light; some is silly and profane and irreverent. Gathered together, this is life, happening right now, all around, in its messy glory, as only Jenny Lawson could show us.

    The four of them run New Orleans with an iron fist. With their father stepping down and handing the thrown to Karlos and his brothers they have to live up to everything Kaine has built. Karlos aka Killz is a straight Savage! He does not play about his family or their business that stretches from Louisiana to Miami. All about his business, and pretty much nothing in between, love was never in the agenda. As fate would have it, he has a change of heart when he meets the sexy, Kylee Ricci. Kylee is the oldest of her three sisters, Kimmora, Kelly and Keira. They are from Italy but moved to the states with their drug dealing father after their mother died giving birth to the twins Kelly and Keira. The sisters are head strong, smart, beautiful and extremely close. Life as they know it changes dramatically when Kylee finds herself unintentionally falling for Killz the Savage from New Orleans. When the Royals meet the Ricci's, it is one hell of a ride! Infidelity, shoot outs, robberies and betrayal at an all-time high. Through it all, will love prevail? Or will the dangerous lives of the Royals fill the sisters hearts with regret? Find out what happens when the Royals give their hearts to New Orleans Savages in between the pages of this captivating read.

    With enthusiastic endorsements from bestselling luminaries as Lemony Snicket, Judith Viorst, Andrea Beaty, and many others, this entirely unique collection offers a surprise around every corner: from the ongoing rivalry between the author and illustrator, to the mysteriously misnumbered pages that can only be deciphered by a certain code-cracking poem, to the rhyming fact-checker in the footnotes who points out when "poetic license" gets out of hand. Adding to the fun: Lane Smith, bestselling creator of beloved hits like It's a Book and The Stinky Cheese Man and Other Fairly Stupid Tales, has spectacularly illustrated this extraordinary collection with nearly one hundred pieces of appropriately absurd art. It's a mischievous match made in heaven!

    From Senator Al Franken - #1 bestselling author and beloved SNL alum - comes the story of an award-winning comedian who decided to run for office and then discovered why award-winning comedians tend not to do that.This is a book about an unlikely campaign that had an even more improbable ending: the closest outcome in history and an unprecedented eight-month recount saga, which is pretty funny in retrospect.It's a book about what happens when the nation's foremost progressive satirist gets a chance to serve in the United States Senate and, defying the low expectations of the pundit class, actually turns out to be good at it.It's a book about our deeply polarized, frequently depressing, occasionally inspiring political culture, written from inside the belly of the beast.In this candid personal memoir, the honorable gentleman from Minnesota takes his army of loyal fans along with him from Saturday Night Live to the campaign trail, inside the halls of Congress, and behind the scenes of some of the most dramatic and/or hilarious moments of his new career in politics.Has Al Franken become a true Giant of the Senate? Franken asks readers to decide for themselves.

    But the keys didn’t come without new responsibilities. Unwanted suitor visits, a robbery, and Susan living only a few blocks apart from her ex-boyfriend, McGraw, has made the dorms feel like a haven. The girls are in for a dose of reality when they learn that there’s more to being an adult than paying your own rent.Eisner Award nominee John Allison (Bad Machinery, Scary Go Round) and illustrators Max Sarin and Liz Fleming welcome you back to Sophomore year in Giant Days Volume 6, collecting issues #21-24 of the critically acclaimed series.

    In fact, if you’re stuck in a bit of a reading rut, it’s just the palate cleanser you need.” Emerald Street Longlisted for the Bath Novel Award 2017 Jonathon Fairfax, the world’s most socially awkward hero, works for a giant corporation where he specialises in muttering ‘um’ and tripping over bins. When he accidentally discovers a colossal corporate conspiracy, it soon becomes clear that someone will do anything to keep it secret – including murder. Read the book on its own or as a follow-up to The Perpetual Astonishment of Jonathon Fairfax – an Amazon UK #1 bestseller that was shortlisted for the Bath Novel Award 2014. Stylist called it ‘a comic gem’ and The Guardian said, ‘you can’t help being tickled’. "This one is even better than the one before. Buy!” John Lenahan (bestselling author, magician and voice of the toaster in Red Dwarf) How readers describe it… “A cross between PG Wodehouse and Tom Sharpe.” "Christopher Shevlin writes the funniest dialogue you'll ever read so you may need to find a private space with this book unless you don't mind laughing out loud in public places.” “Laugh out loud funny and thought provoking at the same time." "This is the funniest book I have read in years.” "Shevlin is a modern English Kurt Vonnegut.” "Uplifting, a great little gem of a book.” "I love the Jonathon Fairfax books. They're like a big hug for your neuroses.” “There are beautiful sentences on every page." "You'll love the characters and the writing style. What I would give to spend an evening at the local pub with Jonathan and co.” "Excellent. Every sentence is somewhere between amusing and laugh-out-loud funny.” "Funny but unusually also a page turner.” "The only downside is that I find myself missing the characters.”

    His love for Kylee grows everyday, thanks to nearly losing her after cheating with his ex, Zena. All is forgiven and Kylee and Karlos are married, with a baby on the way. But as fate will have it, someone resurfaces, with high hopes of ruining their marriage. Kimmora and Kevin are also married, with a beautiful baby boy named Keion. Kimmora has opened new chapters in her life such as becoming a wife, mother and registered nurse. Things are looking up for Kevin too, as he's running his thriving barbershop and working hard at being the best husband and father that he can be. All is well with the couple... That is, until skeletons fall out of the closet, putting their marriage in jeopardy. Twins Keira and Kelly are doing good in every area in their lives. Personal, financial, and career wise they have it all figured out. Their men, Kaylin and Kalvin, treat them like the queens that they are. But limits are tested and lines are crossed. Both couples are forced to fight not just each other but other situations that tries to tear them down as well. Come along for the ride as we see if being married to a Savage is all it’s cracked up to be.

    From the New York Times bestselling creator of the hugely popular Awkward Yeti comics comes the third collection in his Heart and Brain series.Heart and Brain: Body Language continues the adventures of the loveably conflicted sentimental Heart and rational Brain, as well as other bodily inhabitants like Gallbladder, Muscle, and Tongue. Warm-hearted and laugh-out-loud funny, these comics bring our inner struggles to vibrant, humorous life.

    Not a fan. So why am I wearing a Santa suit and letting frisky moms paw me at a reindeer ranch?It might have something to do with the family crisis that drew me home between tours as a career Marine. Or maybe it’s my urge to cozy up with the prickly reindeer rancher whose curves give me visions of something way hotter than sugarplums.Jade King isn’t thrilled I’m here, and she’d be less thrilled to know her sister hired me to keep an eye on things. Someone’s set on sabotaging the ranch, so I’ve got a built-in excuse to get close to Jade.I could swear the attraction’s mutual, but something’s holding her back. Some secret in her past that has her pushing me away like a bad batch of eggnog. It’s almost as baffling as all these accidents at the King sisters’ place. Seriously, who’d screw with a reindeer ranch?Between sexy Santa suit malfunctions and risqué Christmas cookies, Jade and I keep ending up under the mistletoe together. Is there any chance we can mesh our Christmas wish lists, or will it all crash down like a fat man in an iron sleigh?

    Shining a light on humanity’s ancient customs and institutions in a funny origin story of human civilization, Mark Russell (PREZ) blends modern interpretations with Hanna-Barbera’s classic characters, bringing a breath of fresh stone-age air.Hanna-Barbera has created some of the most recognizable animated characters of all time. As part of DC Comics’ reimagination of cartoons like SCOOBY-DOO, JOHNNY QUEST, SPACE GHOST and WACKY RACERS, these new series are infused with modern and contemporary concepts while keeping the heart and soul of the classic animation.Collects THE FLINSTONES #7-12.

    If you haven't done those things but wish you had, This Is Your Book. If you just want to laugh on a train/sofa/toilet or under your desk at work, This Is Your Book.

    This is a story about a mouse, and how he got swallowed up by a wolf, and who he met down in its belly, and what happened after that.

    One that's visually stimulating! With scenic pictures! And style! He has plenty of ideas about what makes a great book, but his friends just WON'T. STOP. TALKING.Children and adults alike will chuckle at this comedic take on bookmaking from acclaimed author-illustrator Ryan T. Higgins.

    Unfortunately, he's going on a pair of adventures instead. With his less-than faithful acolyte at his side, Lhiewyn will have to face down a rampaging sewer demon and outwit the beautiful, wily priestess of a foreign god bent on unearthing his greatest, most terrible secret. Looks like his nap will have to wait.... A note to potential readers: It is not necessary to read the Amra Thetys series to enjoy this novelette, though of course I think it would be an excellent idea if you did. -Michael McClung

    They are Jack, the seemingly unkillable leader whose ever-present grin belies a dark past; Marie, who fights with fury but battles more fiercely to control the beast within; and Frank, the master of logistics, whose cloak hides horrific scars that are far more than skin-deep. As they slash and scheme through kingdom and village alike, the Bastard Champions uncover tantalizing clues to their ultimate quarry: the powerful Blue Fairy, who has made each of their lives a living hell.Second Hand Curses adds a dash of sly wit and a heaping portion of action to the fairy tales you thought you knew.

    In September 2016, they experienced the trip of a lifetime with 14 friends and a crew of 10 while traveling in wooden dories through the canyon. Dories, Ho! is a story of their adventure and discovery. Similar to their first travel memoir Dear Bob and Sue, this book is as much about their relationship as it is their fantastic trip. Matt and Karen’s quirky writing style is both humorous and irreverent. It’s fun, laugh out loud, and an easy read. While not intended to be a traditional guidebook, anyone contemplating a river trip through the Grand Canyon will benefit from this firsthand account. The reader will feel as if they’ve traveled with the authors on their journey to and through Grand Canyon National Park. If you are looking for a story that will make you laugh and inspire you to get out and see our incredible national parks, Dories, Ho! is for you.

    Susan is barely dealing with her recent breakup with McGraw, Esther is considering dropping out of school, and Daisy is trying to keep everyone and everything from falling apart! Combined with house-hunting, indie film festivals, and online dating, can the girls make it to second year?  The Eisner Award-nominated series from John Allison (Bad Machinery, Scary Go Round) with artist Max Sarin delivers another delightful slice-of-life adventure in Giant Days Volume 4. Collects issues 13-16.

    depil ...Recipe for drunken laughter:Take two best friends since childhood;Add four shots of tequila each;Sprinkle in a handful of secrets;Shake.Given the right amount of Tequila & Time, even the deepest secrets between two friends will rise to the surface.NOTE: This short story includes a multi-page "Sneak Peek" at the end from the 2nd book in the Dig Site Mystery Series called MAKE NO BONES ABOUT IT.

    At The I Wonder Bookstore, customers come in and ask the owner countless variations on its namesake question ("I wonder if you have any books about...") and he is happy to fill their requests in enchanting ways. In these pages readers will discover books that grow on trees, books designed to be read by two (or more) people at once, books that can only be read by moonlight, bookstore weddings, an underwater library, a boot camp for charismatic bookstore attendants, and many more wonders that celebrate the transporting magic of reading in a timeless and irresistible way.

    Invincible! This new protagonist helps widows and orphans as any self-respecting hero would, but also dogs, cats, grandmothers, the mayor's son, and, well, the rest of the city. Masked and caped, like any good superhero, he thwarts the mad scientists and bad guys without much worry. Not only is he unbeatable, but his super-power makes him the only true comic book hero -- he can reach outside the panels and affect both space and time! A wholly unique and creative twist on conventional comic-book reading experience, this wacky Middle Grade title will put your imagination to the test!

    Comedy shouldn’t take courage, but it made an exception for Bassem.” --Jon StewartSemi-Finalist in the Humor category in the Goodreads Choice Awards."The Jon Stewart of the Arabic World"—the creator of The Program, the most popular television show in Egypt’s history—chronicles his transformation from heart surgeon to political satirist, and offers crucial insight into the Arab Spring, the Egyptian Revolution, and the turmoil roiling the modern Middle East, all of which inspired the documentary about his life, Tickling Giants.Bassem Youssef’s incendiary satirical news program, Al-Bernameg (The Program), chronicled the events of the 2011 Egyptian Revolution, the fall of President Hosni Mubarak, and the rise of Mubarak’s successor, Mohamed Morsi. Youssef not only captured his nation’s dissent but stamped it with his own brand of humorous political criticism, in which the Egyptian government became the prime laughing stock.So potent were Youssef’s skits, jokes, and commentary, the authoritarian government accused him of insulting the Egyptian presidency and Islam. After a six-hour long police interrogation, Youssef was released. While his case was eventually dismissed, his television show was terminated, and Youssef, fearful for his safety, fled his homeland.In Revolution for Dummies, Youssef recounts his life and offers hysterical riffs on the hypocrisy, instability, and corruption that has long animated Egyptian politics. From the attempted cover-up of the violent clashes in Tahrir Square to the government’s announcement that it had created the world’s first "AIDS cure" machine, to the conviction of officials that Youssef was a CIA operative—recruited by Jon Stewart—to bring down the country through sarcasm. There’s much more—and it’s all insanely true.Interweaving the dramatic and inspiring stories of the development of his popular television show and his rise as the most contentious funny-man in Egypt, Youssef’s humorous, fast-paced takes on dictatorship, revolution, and the unforeseeable destiny of democracy in the Modern Middle East offers much needed hope and more than a few healing laughs. A documentary about his life, Tickling Giants, debuted at the Tribeca Film Festival in 2016, and is now scheduled for major release.

    Here, a universal ranking system determines the social advantages and career opportunities of every member of society. An automated matchmaking service knows the best partners for everyone and helps with the break up when your ideal match (frequently) changes. And the foolproof algorithms of the biggest, most successful company in the world, TheShop, know what you want before you do and conveniently deliver to your doorstep before you even order it.In QualityCity, Peter Jobless is a machine scrapper who can't quite bring himself to destroy the imperfect machines sent his way, and has become the unwitting leader of a band of robotic misfits hidden in his home and workplace. One day, Peter receives a product from TheShop he absolutely, positively knows he does not want, and which he decides, at great personal cost, to return. The only problem: doing so means proving the perfect algorithm of TheShop wrong, calling into question the very foundations of QualityLand itself.

    Nope. With a small group of woo-woo others, Irby sets seventy micro-resolutions, and then—with the rest of us—she fails at almost every single one of them.   Thoughtful, witty, poignant—the failed intentions in New Year Same Trash will make you laugh and cry. Because you know you’ve been there. You can’t wake up in time to go to brunch. Swimming three times a week? Who are you kidding. You’re not going to shower every day or pack your lunch every day. You’re definitely not going to choose a smart movie over mindless entertainment, because you’re tired. You’re lazy. And, no, you’re never going to be a positive thinker. “I didn’t do this. I’m gonna. Maybe.” Don’t worry. It’s okay. There’s always next year. Instantly recognizable to anyone who’s ever failed to make goals and stick with them, New Year Same Trash will bring hilarious relief.A Vintage Shorts Original. An ebook short.

    It is not only an exceptionally reliable source for dog greatness, it is also a one stop shop for happiness.   This book takes readers on a journey through the strict science of dog rating and the unwavering rules associated with it. Questioning the accuracy of these ratings is ill-advised. They are certainly not arbitrary and this book is absolutely not just about how cute dogs are. It truly is all about precision and ethics in dog rating.   The #WeRateDogs book will produce an audible reaction with every flip of the page—whether a groan from a terrible pupper pun or an “aww” of seeing a super floofer. If #WeRateDogs takes you away from reality and pushes you into this conglomerate of absurdity for even a second, then it has fulfilled its purpose.   “Witty, ironic captions that are cute, hilarious, and relatable all at once . . . WeRateDogs is a cultural force in its own right.” —Salon   “Next-level understanding of internet escapism . . . The real magic is the delightfully surreal captions.” —Esquire   “Such lighthearted humor . . . As WeRateDogs followers are constantly reminded, all dogs are good dogs.” —NPR

    I dreamt that I was a soldier, riding into battle ... completely naked, and on the back of a large, inflatable duck.' Matt Coyne's life was turned upside down by the arrival of his first child, Charlie. After three months of fatherhood, he logged on to Facebook and shared his experience of being newly responsible for 'a furious, sleep-murdering, unstable and incontinent, breasts-obsessed midget lodger'. Within days, his post had gone viral - and Matt is now a hero for parents everywhere, through his popular blog: 'Man vs. Baby'.Dummy is no average parenting book. It's packed with completely impractical, hands-on advice for the inept mum or dad - stuff you just won't find in any baby manual or guide: 'Profanity Bingo' for labour; a categorisation of various nappy disasters; how to counteract the baby plank manoeuvre, and much more. But it is also a story of how becoming a parent is a kind of beautiful insanity. A thing that changes you.Above all, Dummy will keep you laughing like a broken lunatic through the exhaustion, the mystery and the madness of bringing up your own children. This is the parenting book for real people.

    Shining a light on humanity's ancient customs and institutions in a funny origin story of human civilization, Mark Russell (PREZ) blends modern interpretations with Hanna-Barbera's classic character's, bringing a breath of fresh stone-age air. Hanna-Barbera has created some of the most recognizable animated characters of all time. As part of DC Comics' re-imagination of cartoons like Scooby-Doo, The Flintsones, Johnny Quest, Space Ghost, and Wacky Racers, these new series will be infused with modern and contemporary concepts while keeping the heart and soul of the classic animation. Collects THE FLINTSTONES #1-6.

    Suspicious and cynical, he’s managed to avoid romantic entanglements since a tragedy upended his career and life, that is until American Eisley Barrett comes along. Her authenticity and kindness upend his bitter assumptions and send his heart into unscripted territory.When his past threatens to ruin a second chance at love, can some Appalachian matchmaking and letters from the grave salvage their unexpected romance?

    She isn’t known for her finesse, but she’s good at what she does. Her intuition and insight have never steered her wrong.When there’s an attempted murder on the only detective who knows her secrets, she’s willing to step outside the safety of her anonymity and insert herself smack-dab in the middle of an active investigation. She has the skills to help, but convincing the sexy, skeptical detective to accept that help is much harder than dealing with the dead.With an attempted killer on the loose and another cold case nipping at her heels, Cree will risk more than her secret identity to solve both cases. She’ll risk her sanity and her life.

    Case is faced with a dilemma so damaging that it has the potential to take away his freedom. While trying to clear his name, he’s faced with the reality that he hurt the love of his life. His intention was never to hurt Diar, but he was so caught up with the death if his ex that Case didn’t realize that he playing with Diar's heart. Without Diar in his corner, Case is unsure if he will make it out of his predicament. Diar is torn between her heart and her mind. She wants to believe that Case loves her, but his words don't match with his actions. She’s tired of waiting for him to love her the way that she loves him. Walking away seems like the best solution, but when she steps right into trouble, Diar’s not sure if she has made the best decision. Will Case and Diar mend their broken relationship or will their detrimental issues keep them apart?

    He’s in love with his work colleague Melanie and his only friend Gary is a conspiracy theory nut. His life is going nowhere until he has a Near Death Experience - though Death thinks of it as a Near Dave Experience. He discovers gifts he never knew he possessed and a world he never dreamed existed. A world where the Grim Reaper is a hard drinking, grumpy Billy Joel fan and the undead are bored, lonely and dangerous. This box set contains the first 3 stories in the How To Be Dead series: How To Be Dead Paper Cuts Old Haunts They tell the story of Death and his office staff protecting humanity from ghosts, zombies, vampires and medium-sized apocalypses. After a nice cup of tea and a biscuit. “Dave Turner is a funny man and ‘How To Be Dead’ is a brilliant read.” “If Neil Gaiman and Simon Pegg sat down to write a story together they might come up with something like this.” “Hilarious and unexpectedly moving.” “Laugh out loud funny… It’s been a while since an author has made me laugh more than Pratchett does.”

    The Book of the Year is a hilarious guide to 2017’s most extraordinary events, unearthed by the creators of the award-winning hit comedy podcast No Such Thing As A Fish. Each week, over a million people tune in to find out what bizarre and astonishing facts Dan, James, Anna and Andy have found out over the previous seven days. Now the gang have turned their attention to the news of the past twelve months. You’ll discover the curious details behind the main headlines – how Donald Trump slept on the 66th floor of a 58-storey building, what effect Brexit had on Coco Pops, and why China’s president can’t stand Winnie the Pooh – as well as hundreds of stories you may have missed entirely, like the news that:- Qatar built a refugee camp for camels- 2,000 bees were stolen in Beeston- The victim of Britain’s first ever shark attack ended up with a cut thumb. From bizarre arrests to baffling elections, via a surprising amount of sausage news, The Book of the Year is an eye-opening tour of the incredible year you didn’t know you’d lived through.

    She knew it was silly, but she clung to one irrational thread of hope their friend Patty’s concoction would grant her heart’s desire. Shawna’s hopes were dashed when Ashton packed up her things and went away to college completely unaware of Shawna’s feelings. Twenty-three years after Patty’s potion was brewed, Ashton returns to her hometown. She finds time has changed a lot, including Shawna. Ashton has done quite a bit of changing, too, and sees Shawna in a whole new light. Perhaps Patty’s potion was potent after all. In this romantic comedy, Robin Alexander has cooked up a humorous tale about enduring love and friendship.

    Cats, that is. If you've got a feline nightmare on your hands, I'm the guy who can fix it.When I hear about a cat hoarder named Estelle, I envision a mentally unstable old lady, not the blond bombshell who opens the door.With a 100 percent success rate, I've never had trouble finishing a job. But just a few hours into this project and one thing is clear—Estelle and her band of misfit p*ssies will give me a run for my money… and my heart.Untamable is a standalone romantic comedy in the Night Time Television Series.

    After you’ve seen a woman strip down at the laundry room to wash the clothes she’s wearing, then saunter across the street naked, you’ve seen it all, right? How naïve I was. After the factory closed, leaving me and a good portion of the town unemployed, I took a job managing Scarlet Toys. I knew it wouldn’t be a typical work environment, selling adult toys in a town more uptight than a constipated nun, but some things you just never see coming. Like the protesters covered in poison ivy, screaming about smut peddlers. Or a dancing dinosaur named Fappy. Or the allure of the man standing in the center of all the chaos. Wyatt Lawson, a six foot, four inch heap of muscle with a quick smile, ignited my interest in more than the available manager position. Like the missionary one. Or the rodeo. Maybe the side rider. What can I say? I’m an overachiever. Let’s just hope he doesn’t scare easily. This is the first book in a series of standalone novels.

    He is taking the next steps in his personal life to make things official with the love of his life Micah Sanders and to lock her down. Everything is going smooth until the night of the engagement party when several avalanches crashes both of his worlds, causing total upheaval and heavy destruction. The game has officially been changed. After proposing to Micah, Malik is happily celebrating at his engagement party with his fiancée Micah, along with his close family and friends. However, what is supposed to be one of the happiest nights of his life is now being rudely clouded by the sudden appearance of his ex-girlfriend of Nina and her son, bringing the very jubilant celebration to a halt. Nina’s outlandish announcement shocks Malik to his core and sends Micah running from her own party. Malik refuses to let the resurgence of Nina derail anything between him and Micah and refuses to be bothered by her blatant lies. But what if Nina is telling the truth? What happens then? Will Malik continue to ignore her and let her back in his life, his heart, and his bed? What will happen between him and Micah? Who will end up as the wife of the kingpin? On the business end, after attending the engagement, Malik’s right hand man, Rico “Goo” Grady, is pulled over and arrested for having an insurmountable amount of drugs on him. Malik and Goo are surprised at the bail hearing, and now, things have just gotten real. Malik’s focus is pulled in many directions, including taking down a known nemesis and getting his boy out of his predicament. With so many things coming at him both personally and professionally, will Malik falter and let some things or someone fall through the crack? Will his enemy finally find the weakness necessary to take down the young kingpin? Micah can’t believe how differently her life changed after accepting Malik’s proposal. She had a full plate to deal with: Malik’s ex-girlfriend, her mom’s cancer, school, her dad and his mysterious behavior, missing Mark, and of course, her relationship with Malik. She didn’t know if she was coming or going. Vowing to fight for her and Malik’s relationship, Micah’s resolve is soon tested and challenged. Will she throw down the gauntlet or throw in the towel? She loves Malik with all her heart, but is their love strong enough to survive the sudden upheaval in their lives? In this exciting conclusion of The Wife of A Kingpin 3, Malik Jefferson and Micah Sanders are in love and are looking forward to a future together. However, Malik and Micah face obstacles and challenges that they have never faced before. Enemies will attack from all angles, so trust, loyalty, communication, and love will be questioned. Find out how it all ends in this epic finale collaboration between award-winning authors Twyla T. and Patrice Balark.

    He doesn’t know his fiancé is a fortune teller either. He doesn’t know Russian culture, politics, or language, but he does know American business. And he knows his fiancé speaks Russian. He thinks she can make him the new Tsar of the timber industry, but first they must survive a weekend with the Russian mob. Red Russia is the story of an American businessman and his interpreter in Russia, of business, lies, and deception, of fortunes bought and told.

    Things might get a little crazy.In this photographic friendship adventure, the claymates squish, smash, and sculpt themselves into the funniest shapes imaginable. But can they fix a giant mess before they're caught in the act?

    Literally forever. It’s being bulldozed and re-purposed as a luxury dorm next semester. But as one door closes, another opens and between end of semester hookups, music festivals, and moving into their first home together, the life experiences are just getting started. Written by Eisner Award nominee John Allison (Bad Machinery, Scary Go Round) and illustrated by Max Sarin, Giant Days Volume 5 finishes off freshman year in style, collecting issues #17-20 of the Eisner and Harvey Award-nominated series.

    38 is back for more hijinks, hilarity, and underwear hoisting in this new collection of Big Nate comics. Can Chad somehow survive on a diet of kale and soy nuts? Are Jenny and Artur EVER going to break up? And how is Nate supposed to concentrate on baseball when he’s got a crush on his team’s new pitcher? See for yourself! Join Nate and the rest of the crew for another unforgettable round of middle school adventures!

    You know, just for levity. While other comedians were seeking fame, Stanhope was seeking immediate gratification, dark spectacle, or sometimes just his pants. Not to say he hasn't rubbed elbows with fame. He's crashed its party, snorted its coke, and jumped into its pool naked, literally and often repeatedly -- all while artfully dodging fame himself. Doug spares no legally permissible detail, and his stories couldn't be told any other way. They're weird, uncomfortable, gross, disturbing, and fucking funny.This Is Not Fame is by no means a story of overcoming a life of excess, immorality, and reckless buffoonery. It's an outright celebration of it. For Stanhope, the party goes on.

    One More Year continues to give substance to the characters and personalities of its protagonists in ways that never fail to surprise, delight, and horrify.

    The greed of kings has ignited a seemingly endless war. As men fight, the monsters of the untamed wilds are devouring the frontier. Villages are abandoned as fields go fallow. Murderous bandits roam the desolation. None of that matters to a nameless goblin slave. He just wants to eat as much food as he can shove into his mouth when no one is looking, but fate runs a twisted course, so instead he is whisked away to the far off Iron Teeth Mountains. To stay alive, he will have to evolve into something more than a simple goblin, and carve a bloody path through the forests of the North. However, first he has to get over his crippling fear of trees, and survive in a place where everything considers him to be the perfect size for a quick snack...

    His style and encouraging words are a form of therapy for the weary, but with Bob it is always about more than painting. There is a hidden depth within his easy chatter, another layer to everything he says. When he talks about painting, he's using it as a metaphor for life!Happy Little Accidents: The Wit and Wisdom of Bob Ross opens with an introduction and brief biography of Ross, followed by a collection of Ross's greatest quotes and most majestic works of art.Relax. Unwind. Be inspired.“Just let your imagination go. You can create all kinds of beautiful effects, just that easy…”

    Men covet them. Women envy them. But one fact holds true - everyone wants to get their hands on some big ones. The same holds true for one intrepid adventurer - a strapping young lad by the name of Himmel. Armed with his grandfather’s trusty longsword and the dream of being the strongest, he sets out on the journey of a lifetime! It is sure to be a long and dangerous road, fraught with danger! And it all starts with a simple test - reach Level 5 in the dungeon called the ‘newbie zone’ and earn the right to become a full-fledged adventurer! However, such things get hopelessly derailed when his adolescent mind beholds an exposed chest for the first time. A fateful meeting that would inevitably lead his life in a direction he never even dreamed of! Content warning: Profanity, Gore, Sexual Themes

    She must start at a new school, make new friends, and continue to hide her tail. Yep, Doreen has the powers of . . . a squirrel! After failing at several attempts to find her new BFF, Doreen feels lonely and trapped, liked a caged animal. Then one day Doreen uses her extraordinary powers to stop a group of troublemakers from causing mischief in the neighborhood, and her whole life changes. Everyone at school is talking about it! Doreen contemplates becoming a full-fledged Super Hero. And thus, Squirrel Girl is born! She saves cats from trees, keeps the sidewalks clean, and dissuades vandalism. All is well until a real-life Super Villain steps out of the shadows and declares Squirrel Girl his archenemy. Can Doreen balance being a teenager and a Super Hero? Or will she go . . . NUTS?

     In an alien city torn apart by crooked cops and ruthless criminals, private detective, Dan Deadman, specializes in cases unusual and bizarre. Sure, he doesn't smell great, and he's technically been dead for quite some time, but if you've got a rampaging Hell-beast tearing up your street, or a portal to another dimension appearing in your bathroom, Dan's your man. After saving a mysterious young woman named Ollie from the clutches of something big, slimy, and unpleasant, Dan gets entangled in a missing child case, a string of grisly murders, and a severed woman's arm that just won't leave him alone. And then there's the demonic entity who'll stop at nothing to get its tentacles on Ollie, even if it means destroying the whole damn planet. Times like these, Dan would give his right nut to be a real detective. If he still had nuts. From the pages of Space Team: The Guns of Nana Joan, "Dial D for Deadman" is the first darkly comedic action adventure novel starring Dan Deadman, Space Detective.

    Deep into month three he started to look like an armpit with eyeballs. It was a sultry August night in Old Town Scottsdale. As Bimisi and Sumguyen made their way from one bar to another, they took pause to to enjoy the rhythms of a homeless crooner who was soulfully picking his guitar. When Sumguyen threw a five into his tip jar the artist looked up, thanked him with a nod and said, “That is a beautiful beard. My friend Brenda has a beard just like that, but hers doesn’t talk.” A fair amount of beer sprayed from Bimisi’s nose...and just like that they had their subject matter for the final book of Season One.

    Comic strip censors, apathetic baristas, and IRS employees are all strongly advised to laugh or get out of the way.Pearls Hogs the Road also features three comic strips illustrated by the legendary Bill Watterson of Calvin and Hobbes, who ended a 19-year hiatus from the comics page to collaborate with Pastis.

    Multiple times. But, somehow, even though I’m not interested in a relationship, Mr. Tall-Dark-and-Handsome keeps me coming back for more—one crazy, sexual debacle after the next.  Come hell or high water, the stars will align, and the release will be out of this world.   JACKI’m captivated with the woman who’s left me sixty-nine shades of blue, and she's only in this for one thing. The first time, I blew it—and not in the good way—but I’m going to ensure we finally see it through. I need to put an end to this “plague” of sexual calamities and prove to Sarah that we can have more.It's time to grab the universe by the balls and show it who's boss.

    The collected posts of surreal website LiarTownUSA satirizing weird vintage books, albums, posters, and other printed ephemera of pop culture.

    However, when her engagement starts to look more stalemate than soulmate, her best friend stages an intervention sure to make even the most hardened, serial daters wince: 10 Dates in 10 Days. Statistically, if you kiss a lot of frogs there's bound to be at least one that's not a complete toad, isn't there? With nothing to lose, Joanie embarks on a crazy rollercoaster of blind dates. After all, what can possibly go wrong in the search for Mr. Right? 10 Dates is a standalone, sexy, laugh out loud romantic comedy with a happy ending. It is not for the feint hearted and is best suited for readers over the age of eighteen due to sexual themes and mature content.

    Some of those words include: the, a, for, above, and even even. Put them together and you have the funniest, most heartfelt, and most inspirational memoir on survival, success, and the importance of believing in yourself since Old Yeller.The question you’re probably asking yourself right now is: What does Kevin Hart have that a book also has?According to the three people who have seen Kevin Hart and a book in the same room, the answer is clear:A book is compact. Kevin Hart is compact.A book has a spine that holds it together. Kevin Hart has a spine that holds him together.A book has a beginning. Kevin Hart’s life uniquely qualifies him to write this book by also having a beginning.It begins in North Philadelphia. He was born an accident, unwanted by his parents. His father was a drug addict who was in and out of jail. His brother was a crack dealer and petty thief. And his mother was overwhelmingly strict, beating him with belts, frying pans, and his own toys.The odds, in short, were stacked against our young hero, just like the odds that are stacked against the release of a new book in this era of social media (where Hart has a following of over 100 million, by the way).But Kevin Hart, like Ernest Hemingway, JK Rowling, and Chocolate Droppa before him, was able to defy the odds and turn it around. In his literary debut, he takes the reader on a journey through what his life was, what it is today, and how he’s overcome each challenge to become the man he is today.And that man happens to be the biggest comedian in the world, with tours that sell out football stadiums and films that have collectively grossed over $3.5 billion.He achieved this not just through hard work, determination, and talent: It was through his unique way of looking at the world. Because just like a book has chapters, Hart sees life as a collection of chapters that each person gets to write for himself or herself.“Not only do you get to choose how you interpret each chapter, but your interpretation writes the next chapter,” he says. “So why not choose the interpretation that serves your life the best?”

    But what the video doesn’t show is Candace’s storied journey of daunting obstacles on the way to the joy-filled life—extreme poverty, past trauma, and struggles with self-worth.Laugh It Up! tells the rest of the story behind the woman in the mask. Like most of us, Candace has often felt overlooked, undervalued, and insignificant. But she has also discovered the secrets to unshakable joy that no circumstance can take away, and Laugh It Up! will help you discover and experience the same.Join Candace to discover the gift God has given us all to experience life to the fullest. All you need to do is answer “yes” when joy, whom Candace personifies as a friend, calls you to come and play.Do you feel tempted to give up on your dreams? Joy stays the course.Do your knees knock when thinking about the future? Joy hopes for what can be.Do you feel unseen and unnoticed? Joy is content whether backstage or center stage.Do you feel crushed under the weight of regret? Joy loves you enough to weep with you, but also enough to help you move on.When life punches you in the gut, it can be difficult to muster a smile—much less a laugh. But with humor and power, wit and wisdom, Candace lights the way forward to a life that is free indeed.

    What she hopes will be a fun vacation quickly turns out to be a nightmare. Falon is normally a woman who can roll with the punches, but life delivers a series of blows that knock her on her butt and leave her stranded in Honduras with the company of an uptight woman she doesn’t like. Haley Hollis isn’t having a good time, either. She spends two nights on the top deck of the ship after being locked out by her sexually adventurous cabin mate. Desperate to do something fun, she accepts an invitation from a new friend to join him on a zip line excursion. She only thinks the trip down the side of a mountain on a wire is the most terrifying thing she’ll ever experience. What Falon and Haley think is a disaster turns into a magical adventure in Robin Alexander’s latest romantic comedy, Fearless.

     Least of all said idiot; Brian Trelawney, the most hapless car salesman in the whole of Cornwall. With no redeeming features bar his towering height, Brian finds himself thrust into a strange and often terrifying world of vampires, banshees and all other Things That Go Bump In The Night. Trained, after a fashion, by the eccentric Masters, and equipped with strange weapons, Brian is sent into battle as the unwitting savior of mankind. Accompanied by his friend Neil, a man oddly enough far more appropriate for the role of Helsing, Brian must bumble his way through his first mission; placating a terrifying banshee whose keening wailing is keeping the residents of Bodmin from their beauty sleep. ++Warning: This book contains copious harsh language and mind-numbing stupidity, all wrapped up in a crunchy supernatural shell.++

    Here, Stephen Rosenfield lays out a clear plan for achieving success, candidly explaining what works, what doesn’t, and why. Including a 12-item “Successful Comedian’s To-Do List,” Rosenfield states, “Get undeniably good at each of these and you can kiss your day job good-bye. You will be a pro.” The New York Times heralded Stephen Rosenfield as “probably the best known comedy teacher in the country.” His alumni include some of today’s most prominent comedians and comedy writers, such as Lena Dunham, Jim Gaffigan, Eric Slovin, and Jessica Kirson. Rosenfield has directed, coached, and/or written for these and hundreds of other comedians. As a pioneer in the field of teaching comedy, he founded the American Comedy Institute, the premier stand-up comedy school in the United States, in 1989.

    Two gin and tonics. Three derelict beach-bum friends. Will Val’s fourth stab at starting over add up to a big fat zero?St. Pete Beach attracts weirdos like mosquitoes to a bug zapper. But when thrice-divorced native Val Fremden feels the tug to fly back to her old stomping grounds, she finds everyone and everything she knew squashed under the heels of change. Reluctantly cast into the weirdo world of down-and-outer beach bums, Val’s got nothing to go on but her own dry sense of humor and the life coach advice of a beer-guzzling old lady she meets at the beach. When an old hoarder passes away and leaves an uncertain heir to the throne, Val and her pals stir up a hornet’s nest trying to uncover the truth. Who’ll get stung and who’ll be named queen to the throne? It’s anybody's guess.If you like wacky, deeply flawed characters and laugh-out-loud situations, you’ll love Glad One! It’s the first book in Margaret Lashley’s hilarious Val Fremden Mystery Series.

    The fact that she’s been seeing the dead ever since she can remember is incidental. It’s nothing more than a … a … a birthmark on her soul and a pain in her butt. Except now death is getting personal and the dead are getting bossy. Her best friend (and neighbor) has been murdered, and her ghost is back to tell Allie that the events leading up to her death are hazy (very unhelpful), and that she wants Allie to figure out whodunit. Allie isn’t a cop, but the wall-banging, hump-happy Detective Leo Samaras is just one floor away. Does he want her help? Nooo … But he wouldn’t mind taking a good, hard look at her bedroom. With the dead starting to make unreasonable demands on her time, can Allie figure out who killed her friend, without taking a one-way trip to the grave herself? Will she start cursing the day she started seeing ghosts? And where did the hefty ghost cat that has moved into her apartment come from anyway? FAMILY GHOULS is the first book in the Greek Ghouls series: a comedic mystery set in Greece and steeped in ouzo.

    He is mistaken.Abducted by aliens and whisked across the galaxy, Cal is thrown into a team of misfits and criminals, and sent on a top secret mission for the President of Space. And that's when everything starts to go very, very wrong...This box set collects the first three bestselling adventures of Cal Carver and the crew of the dread ship Shatner, by multi-award-winning author, Barry J. Hutchison: Space Team Space Team: The Wrath of Vajazzle Space Team: The Search for Splurt

    After graduating, she never left her temporary job at the motorway service station. Daily visits from a mysterious woman are the highlight of her days. Until one day, when the mystery woman vanishes. Amy investigates the disappearance and makes a shocking discovery. Suddenly, she’s being framed and no-nonsense Claudia McAllister is being sent to arrest her. Will Amy’s unique approach to evading capture prove successful?

    Berkeley Breathed's Bloom County is back, with all-new, never before printed comic strips featuring everyones favorite penguin, and the rest of the quirky and endearing denizens of magical land called Bloom County! And, honestly, we need them all more than ever!Librarian Note: Limited Edition hardcover with same ISBN 9781684050970 located here

    Oh, yeah...and snark. Lots and lots of snark. Available for the first time in one volume, this box set contains the COMPLETE Harper Hall Investigations series, which has been called "a combo of Buffy, True Blood and the snark of Charley Davidson." Included are: Book #1: Semi-CharmedBook #2: Semi-HumanBook #3: Semi-TwistedBook #4: Semi-BrokenBook #5: Semi-Sane WARNING: Sexy times are DEFINITELY included. Also might induce snort-laughs at times. These books are intended for mature audiences. These books are not intended for anyone who doesn’t enjoy smart, snarky heroines and dark, brooding heroes, and who doesn’t appreciate a plethora of nerdy pop culture references. For the rest of you: happy reading!

    but not great.In TEMP GIRL, an entitled diva is forced to take a job at a temp agency to get by, and takes a tumble into reality.This TEMP GIRL, Part 1 novella is a month's worth of daily segments: JULYThe Part 1 novella is JULY, Part 2 is AUGUST, Part 3 is SEPTEMBER, Part 4 is OCTOBER, Part 5 is NOVEMBER, part 6 is DECEMBER.(In total there are 6 parts to TEMP GIRL.)Don't miss out on this fun story everyone will be talking about!

    His nose is clogged, his ears are crackling, and his brain feels full. All he wants is his mom to take care of him, but whenever he calls out for her, his stuffed-up nose summons slobbery dog Bob instead! As Louie tries and tries to make himself understood in this funny picturebook, kids will love calling out with him, "Bob, not Bob!"

    Ross Does the thought of having to buy wine for a dinner party stress you out? Is your go-to strategy to pick the bottle with the coolest label? Are you tired of choosing pairings based on your wallet, rather than your palate? Fear not! Bon Appetit contributor and Wine. All The Time. blogger Marissa A. Ross is here to help. In this utterly unpretentious yet comprehensive guide to wine, Ross will help readers to understand the ins and outs of wine culture, from how to describe what they're drinking, to finding the best bottle for their budget, to picking the perfect red for a boyfriend's discerning parents. Told in her signature comedic voice, with personal anecdotes woven in among its lessons, Wine. All the Time. will teach readers to sip confidently, and make them laugh as they're doing it."

    His profile and reach is lightyears beyond where it was for Chins.Hail to the Chin will be bursting with pictures and the signature humor that Bruce brought to If Chins Could Kill and will be devoured by his legions of fans across the country.

    Unbeknownst to him, unicorns make the absolutely worst pets: they shed, they poke holes in your ceiling, and they make a big mess. With a knowing wink from Ame Dyckman, creator of Wolfie the Bunny and cheerful illustrations from Rory the Dinosaur creator and Tumblr star Liz Climo, this rollicking story shares all of the ways a pet unicorn can ruin your life, and is sure to have readers in stitches.

    Like nothing you've read before! A fast moving, laugh-out-loud magical comedy and fantasy adventure that will keep your "heart thumping like a bongo drum strapped to the back of a runaway camel!". Join Maya a young Scottish girl and her know-it-all talking cat Mischief, her living wand Spell and dragon Blink on a series of magical adventures and mishaps as she discovers her magical powers and their hilarious pitfalls. Find out what lies behind the forbidden door. Solve a series of strange riddles and journey across Ayrshire and Arran landmarks in search of clues. How will each of her friends meet with their inevitable sticky end? Can she figure out who the mysterious shadow is and how to defeat it? Is Aunty Dot really that shallow and can Maya really trust her? Or is she destined to be lost in the strange nightmare of the mirror maze? There's only one way to find out, read it! Failure to do so may lead to feelings of disappointment, delusions of sanity and the loss of a potentially right good giggle! This a previously published edition of ASIN B06X9F4GQ7.

     Danger is no stranger to the heartaches of the world. After losing her adoptive mother, she almost crumbles under a domino effect of misfortune. When she meets Sleep, she thinks she’s finally found a captain to save her, but when she learns his main goal is to pimp her out, Danger wastes no time getting from under his thumb. On the run to get as far away from Sleep as possible, she lands in Dallas, where she reunites with her bestie. Free is the true definition of dangerous curves. A BBW with enough personality to steal any show, she’s quick to flash a smile that hides her own set of demons. It’s hard to be comfortable in your skin, especially when family is the main one trying to tear you down, but Free is determined to stunt on everybody that has a problem with her weight— family included. Add the kind of street smarts that make a natural born hustler, and Free is every hitta’s dream come true. Whether they can handle her is the real question. Stranger is a self-made boss in his own right, a dude whose name rings bells in the streets and commands respect even while he’s locked up. Growing up with a schizophrenic for a mother made him unbreakable, but not above the law when he gets caught slipping. Done serving his time, he only has two things on his mind: hitting the streets and getting to the money by any means necessary. After stumbling across a connect and an offer he can’t refuse, Stranger agrees to collect a blood debt in exchange for the keys to the streets. Will his decision cost him more than he’s willing to give up? Where Stranger is a silent killer, Spazz, his younger brother, leaves a path of destruction with anything he touches. Wild, rude, and reckless, he’s ready to get it poppin’ if you even look at him wrong, and there’s only one thing that can tame his temper: his five-year-old daughter. With a mouth to feed and a street legacy to claim, he’s down with no hesitation when Stranger brings him into his plan to re-claim the streets. With his brother by his side, Spazz is ready to put his city on the map. Stranger never let his heart take his focus off the money, until he meets Danger. Mesmerized by her effortless beauty, he just has to have her, but there’s one problem: she’s on the arm of the same guy he’s planning to take down. Is he willing to kill for love? Spazz always gets what he wants, and he knows Free will be his from the minute he meets her. Never being attracted to BBWs in the past, he’s powerless against Free’s hypnotizing thickness, and her confidence and slick mouth are just the type of bonus that makes her worth the chase. Will he convince Free to take a chance on a real one? Ain’t nothin’ like lovin’ a savage, and once you get inside the head of one, your life will never be the same. Take a journey with Danger, Free, Stranger, and Spazz as they try to cheat the past for the future. Nothing goes as planned in love, especially once you’re Turned out by a Savage.

    In his comic, coming-of-age memoir, he takes us back to the Obama years – and charts a path forward in the age of TrumpMore than any other presidency, Barack Obama’s eight years in the White House were defined by young people – twenty-somethings who didn’t have much experience in politics (or anything else, for that matter), yet suddenly found themselves in the most high-stakes office building on earth. David Litt was one of those twenty-somethings. After graduating from college in 2008, he went straight to the Obama campaign. In 2011, he became one of the youngest White House speechwriters in history. Until leaving the White House in 2016, he wrote on topics from healthcare to climate change to criminal justice reform. As President Obama’s go-to comedy writer, he also took the lead on the White House Correspondents’ Dinner, the so-called “State of the Union of jokes.”Now, in this refreshingly honest memoir, Litt brings us inside Obamaworld. With a humorists’ eye for detail, he describes what it’s like to accidentally trigger an international incident or nearly set a president’s hair aflame. He answers questions you never knew you had: Which White House men’s room is the classiest? What do you do when the commander in chief gets your name wrong? Where should you never, under any circumstances, change clothes on Air Force One? With nearly a decade of stories to tell, Litt makes clear that politics is completely, hopelessly absurd.   But it’s also important. For all the moments of chaos, frustration, and yes, disillusionment, Litt remains a believer in the words that first drew him to the Obama campaign: “People who love this country can change it.” In telling his own story, Litt sheds fresh light on his former boss’s legacy. And he argues that, despite the current political climate, the politics championed by Barack Obama will outlive the presidency of Donald Trump.Full of hilarious stories and told in a truly original voice, Thanks, Obama is an exciting debut about what it means – personally, professionally, and politically – to grow up.

    Wallace lives in the quaint and funky town of Snug Harbor with his fisherman father, plant loving mother and feral little brother, Sterling.

    And it's not because he's worried about where to sit, and making friends, and fitting in, or not knowing where the loos are. It's because his mum has enrolled him at a school for superheroes by mistake. And unlike his fellow students, who can all control the weather or fly or conjure tiny horses from thin air, Murph has no special abilities whatsoever. But just because you don't have superpowers, it doesn't mean you can't save the day. Let's hope Murph realises that, and quick - because not far away is a great big bad guy who is half man and half wasp, and his mind is abuzz with evil plans . It's time for Kid Normal to become a hero! Perfect for fans of David Solomons, David Baddiel and Danny Wallace. Featuring brilliant illustrations by Erica Salcedo throughout.

    Her eccentric, free-spirited Aunt Greta wholeheartedly disagrees and dishes out unsolicited dating advice based on her five marriages. But when a jaw-dropping gorgeous architect waltzes into town to build a resort on Abby’s favorite hiking spot, she will do anything to stop him, including befriending him. Though Abby and James are at odds property-wise, things spice up in this fast-paced romantic comedy over late night Scrabble games and hotter-than-hell Chinese food, leaving Abby to wonder if the property that really needs protecting is the one around her heart.

    Eight years, four cats, and three moves are chronicled in this gorgeous hardcover omnibus, which includes a foreword by Raina Telgemeier (Smile, Ghosts). Hirsh and Ota's charming reverie about new adulthood will appeal to fans of Kate Beaton, Bryan Lee O'Malley, and Jeffrey Brown along with anyone who's just winging it."

     When petty criminal, Cal Carver, is locked in a cell with a deranged, semi-naked cannibal, he suspects his life has hit its lowest point. He is mistaken. Abducted by aliens and whisked across the galaxy, Cal is thrown into a team of misfits and criminals, and sent on a top secret mission for the President of Space. And that's when everything starts to go very, very wrong... Featuring spaceships, spacemen, space battles, space spiders, and lots of space stuff in general, isn't it time you set (space) sail with Space Team? This box set collects books 4-6 in the bestselling adventures of Cal Carver and the crew of the dread ship Shatner, by multi-award-winning author, Barry J. Hutchison: Space Team: Song of the Space Siren Space Team: The Guns of Nana Joan Space Team: Return of the Dead Guy

    It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas at the Bellissimo Resort and Casino in Biloxi, Mississippi. The trees are trimmed, the halls are decked, and Davis Way Cole’s grandmother is there to play in the Winter Wonderland Senior Slot Tournament. This year’s theme: The Nice List. All is merry and bright until Granny Dee meets an elf who belongs on the naughty list. Maybe even the downright nasty list. With nothing more than a lifetime of memories, the sounds of the season, and what she can find in the pockets of her Rudolph jogging suit, can Granny Dee save Bianca Sanders from the rotten elf, and in the process, save Christmas? Granny Dee may try to save Christmas, but trust me, of all the characters in this non-stop page-turner, Granny Dee steals the show.

    He LOVES having new siblings and friends to protect. He LOVES guinea pigs like Gizmo! He also LOVES treats!But Gizmo does not want to share his loyal human servant with a rump-sniffing beast! He does not want to live in a pink Barbie Playhouse. Or to be kissed and hugged by the girl human. Gizmo is an evil genius. He wants to take over the world and make all humans feel his wrath. But first he must destroy his archenemy, Wedgie, once and for all!

    Sure, she could get a little crazy at times—life around Tia was never boring—but that was part of her appeal. And while she didn’t see herself as ‘classically beautiful’, she had no shortage of options in the boyfriend department. She just hadn’t found one who held her interest.Until she laid eyes on Eric Larsson, and then it was lust at first sight.He packed the perfect mix of smoldering sexy and unapologetic cool into his blond-haired, blue-eyed, ridiculously hot six-foot-four frame. One smile from him was enough to twist her insides, making her girlie bits tingle in the most delicious way. But it wasn’t just his looks, he was smart and funny—charming in the most a-dork-able way.The only problem was . . . Tia had never actually met him.Eric Larsson was one of Hollywood’s hottest movie stars, rising to the top of his game and leaving a trail of disintegrated panties in his wake. Tia’s were no exception—but she wasn’t delusional. Love, marriage and happily-ever-after were not part of her fantasy; she just wanted to meet him. Just one time. One time. Confident that just seeing him in the flesh would get him out of her system.So, with her resolve steeled, Tia set off on a quest to make it happen while avoiding her mug shot being splayed across the five o’clock news.The journey no doubt will make for one hell of a story.

    But Jack alone is no match for the hordes of Zombies and Winged Wretches and Vine Thingies, and especially not for the eerily intelligent monster known only as Blarg. So Jack builds a team: his dorky best friend, Quint; the reformed middle school bully, Dirk; Jack's loyal pet monster, Rover; and Jack's crush, June. With their help, Jack is going to slay Blarg, achieve the ultimate Feat of Apocalyptic Success, and be average no longer!The Last Kids on Earth and the Zombie Parade: The zombies are disappearing. This might seem like a good thing, since zombies eat your brains, but normal human kid Jack Sullivan is suspicious. He keeps hearing an eerie shrieking noise that seems to be almost summoning the zombies--but to where, and for what (probably) foul purpose? Jack, his three best friends (maybe the only people left on Earth), and their pet monster Rover need to get to the bottom of this. Along the way they encounter a lot more than they bargained for, including a giant Wormungulous, a pizza parlor monster hangout, an ancient evil who destroys worlds, and a stereo system that is totally the bomb. Can Jack figure out why the zombies are vanishing . . . before he and his friends are next?The Last Kids on Earth and the Nightmare King: Jack's friends make a startling discovery: they may not be the last kids on earth, after all. This is great news for everyone... except Jack. Once they've found other humans, his friends won't stick around for long! Jack's only hope for keeping things the way they are is to prove that everything here is perfect, life is crazy fun, and nothing else could be any better. One problem: it's hard convincing his friends that everything is great when they're being hunted by a monstrous Nightmare King and an ancient evil who won't rest until Earth has been devoured. Crud! Maybe life after the monster apocalypse is more complicated than Jack thought...

    Featuring a hilarious new take on iconic characters and scenes—from Kirk in the Captain's chair to Spock offering his Vulcan wisdom—this eye-opening adventure stays true to the tone of the classic TV show. Playful, loving, and from a strange new world, Star Trek Cats is the perfect gift for fans of, well, Star Trek and cats.TM & © 2017 CBS Studios Inc. STAR TREK and related marks and logos are trademarks of CBS Studios Inc. All Rights Reserved.

    Millipedes do it. Dinosaurs did it. You do it: I do it. Octopuses don't (and nor do octopi). Spiders might do it: more research is needed. Birds don't do it, but they could if they wanted to. Herrings do it to communicate with each other. At the beginning of 2017, an innocent question on twitter about snakes formed the hashtag #doesitfart and spread pungently across the internet - and major newspapers - as dozens of experts weighed in on which animals do and don't fart, and if they do, how much, how often, what it's made of, what it smells like, and what it's for. Does it Fart? is the result: the fully authoritative, fully illustrated guide to animal flatulence, covering the habits of 80 animals in more detail than you ever knew you needed. What foods make hyena farts smell especially bad? What is a fossa, and does it fart? Why do clams vomit but not fart? What is a fart, anyway? With contributions from dozens of biologists, Does it Fart? is a book that will allow you to shift the blame onto all kinds of unlikely animals for years to come.

    Snuggles... Stress. You would think December would be Ivy's ideal time of year. After all, festivities abound and witches everywhere are encouraged to put their feet up and relax. That's not quite the case when she has various Order members attempting to finagle her into Christmas activities and a special artefact from the top of the Christmas tree goes missing. Either someone is attempting to sabotage Winter or something very strange is afoot indeed. This is a short holiday novella.

    Bill Ryder STILL isn’t one of them.This omnibus edition contains the FINAL FOUR books of the bestselling Tome of Bill series - over 2000 pages of kick-ass action and geeky humor. A supernatural war, an ancient goddess, and a prophecy stating he’s destined to kill the woman he loves. Geek turned vampire Bill Ryder really doesn’t need this shit right now. Too bad that fate says otherwise. Now he’s got to become the hero he never wanted to be because otherwise the world and everyone in it will be royally screwed.Includes: GODDAMNED FREAKY MONSTERS (Book 5) Three months have passed since Bill Ryder mysteriously disappeared. Now he’s back and just in time because civilization is teetering on the brink of chaos. An ancient evil, the last remnant of a cult thought long dead, is about to cut a swath of destruction through the world not seen since biblical times. Bill’s only chance is to muster his friends and every last bit of attitude he can – because if he fails, Hell on Earth will become far more than just a corny saying. HALF A PRAYER (Book 6) An unstoppable terror has awoken deep beneath the Earth and it’s headed Bill’s way. To make matters worse, he’s been deemed a traitor by those he thought to be his allies. Now he finds himself fighting off enemies from all sides while warring with his feelings for the woman he loves. Talk about lousy timing for introspection. As the world crumbles around him, Bill must rise to the destiny he’s been trying to deny – because if he doesn’t, his love life will be the least of his worries. THE WICKED DEAD (Book 7) Bill Ryder has a powerful destiny. He just never expected it to involve an amnesiac bloodsucker, a bunch of D&D dorks, and a hormonal witch. Ordered to storm the vampire stronghold in Boston, Bill must approach the doorstep of the invincible undead warlord he’s destined to face. If he stands tall and faces his fate, the world might just have a chance of surviving. If he fails, an unquenchable evil will destroy everything he knows and loves. Why can’t the end of the world ever be easy? THE LAST COVEN (Book 8) A goddess returned, a war between primal powers, and a prophecy to fulfill. That’s a lot of crap to heap on anyone’s plate, but that’s exactly what Bill Ryder has to deal with. It’s finally time for him to master his powers, sort out his relationship woes, and figure out how to survive his date with destiny. Because if he can’t get his act together, the curtain will fall and mankind will be forever plunged into everlasting darkness. Join Bill in these tales full of monsters, mayhem, and foul-mouthed laughs. If you enjoy Jim Butcher, Kevin Hearne, or K.F. Breene then you're in for a bloody good time. Click BUY NOW and dive into the complete series today.

    Of a road trip in a wood-paneled station wagon, with the kids in the way-back, singing along to the Steve Miller Band. Brothers waking up early on Saturday mornings for five consecutive hours of cartoons and advertising jingles that they'll be humming all day. A father-one of 3M's greatest and last eight-track-salesman fathers-traveling across the country on the brand-new Boeing 747, providing for his family but wanting nothing more than to get home.It's Steve Rushin's story: of growing up within a '70s landscape populated with Bic pens, Mr. Clean and Scrubbing Bubbles, lightsabers and those oh-so-coveted Schwinn Sting-Ray bikes. Sting-Ray Afternoons paints an utterly fond, psychedelically vibrant, laugh-out-loud-funny portrait of an exuberant decade. With sidesplitting commentary, Rushin creates a vivid picture of a decade of wild youth, cultural rebirth, and the meaning of parental, brotherly, sisterly, whole lotta love.