You Stuck What in Where? (A Collection of Reader-Submitted Medical Stories Book 9)


Kerry Hamm - 2018
     OB staff members write in with their strangest encounters, medics recall embarrassing moments, and nurses vent about frustrating incidents. We learn about even more odd things patients have gotten stuck in their orifices, and we share the laughter and confusion with the healthcare professionals who treated these patients. So, take this book to your nurses lounge to flip through while you're on break (WHAT BREAK?!), read it while you're staging, catch up on all the drama on your day off, or relive all the craziness while you're enjoying your retirement. You WILL laugh as you read firsthand accounts from healthcare professionals who share their experiences as a reminder that you are NOT alone, and you're not losing your mind!

I Am NOT a Unicorn! (Sammy Bird Series)


V. Moua - 2019
    This little bird does NOT want to be an enchanting creature. Will Sammy come to accept that he is a unicorn? Read the book to find out! About the Sammy Bird Series This is a picture book series about a quirky bird named Sammy and his amusing misadventures. Readers will discover that Sammy is a little red bird who has a BIG personality. The books in this series are humorous, engaging and sometimes deal with common childhood issues like bullying, fear of the dark, patience and friendship. The books are interactive and engages young readers to participate in the story. There are over 90 Books in the series and counting! From the Author I like to think of myself as a storyteller who brings families together through the medium of picture books. Whether it is between a parent or child or a grandparent and child. These stories are intended to be light-hearted and funny and most importantly the stories engage young readers to be a part of the story itself. My hope is that these books will help build upon a child's love for reading and allow families to laugh and enjoy spending time together. As a reader, you can look forward to many more adventures with this silly and fun-loving red bird! -V. Moua About the book: I Am NOT a Unicorn! This is a read aloud kids book. The target age range audience is appropriate for preschool and young children who are at the following stages of reading: I can read level 1, I can read level 2, I can read level 3 and I can read level 4. This is a book that any child will love, especially at bedtime. It is suitable for parents to read to their children. Also, grandparents will enjoy reading this book to their grandchildren. This series is part of the short bedtime stories for kids. Read this children's book FREE as part of your PRIME or Kindle Unlimited membership!

Confessions of a Call Centre Worker


Izabelle Winter - 2017
    Could you keep your cool while talking to all levels of stupid? Would you be able to wear a headset all day without wanting to throw it out of the window? All calls are recorded, analysed and timed to the second. Average handling time (AHT) is discussed as if it's the very meaning of life and managers are always coming up with new ways to shave milliseconds from each call. Is it acceptable to only have a total eight minutes a day for visits to the toilet or coffee machine? Imagine not being allowed to hang up on someone who is screaming abuse down the line at you. Welcome to the Call Centre! Izabelle worked in call centres for many years; from insurance to home shopping, from selling advertising to discussing loans. Finally in the early hours one morning, she decided enough was in fact far too much and left her final call centre job the same day, never to return. On her way out of the door for the final time she vowed she would write a book about life in a call centre. Here is that book. Read about call centres in general, memorable customers and staff. How do staff stay sane? What is Big Red? Are cranberries the true meaning of Christmas? Why would you have leather trousers round your ankles in a lift? How not to impress your boss. Izabelle shares these and many other true tales from her years of incarceration in UK call centres.

Please God Let it Be Herpes: A Heartfelt Quest For Love and Companionship


Carlos Kotkin - 2012
    His trouble with females usually begins upon opening his mouth.Here, Carlos shares his ups and mostly downs of bachelorhood, including romantic conquests with a slew of childhood crushes, insane yogis, a Playboy vixen, a STD host, the flaky, the deaf, and the just plain dumb. His unique mating style is not to be duplicated, but it will definitely make readers laugh-and want to get tested ASAP.

Rose Hall's White Witch: The Legend of Annie Palmer


Mike Henry - 2005
    The themes of betrayal, romance, love and mystery underpin this epic drama - the bewitching plantation owner, Annie Palmer, the beautiful and determined slave girl, Millie, the handsome and sophisticated John Rutherford caught in the middle - a torrid love story set in the steamy climate of the tropics.

Shockwave-An Australian Combat Helicopter Crew In Vietnam


Peter Haran - 2004
    This book is told in the words of three Australian Helicopter airmen who supported the ground troops in the vicious war fought in jungles and mountains against an almost invisible enemy.

Black Tar: For the Love of Heroin


Stephen E. Crockett - 2012
    Please understand one critical feature of this book. It is a biography, hand written by the junkie in question about his life and his alone. As such it is not a piece of literary perfection. It has not been polished to perfection by a team of editors, nor was it published by a major publishing company. Black Tar: For The Love of Heroin was originally written on a legal pad as part of a twelve step program. It made its way to me, its ultimate editor, and I was amazed by the details Stephen was able to remember and capture on paper. Once I got to know him I asked him if he would work with me on his life story and he reluctantly agreed. Sensing his hesitancy I told him we would not use his name and focus on the day to day existence of a junkie as he experienced it living from fix to fix. But Stephen could be a hard person to track down and his never ending thirst for the needle made his story a hard one to tell. I spent days upon weeks crawling the downtown streets looking for him and a lot of times when I did find him I would have to buy him heroin just to get him to work with me. So, I made a deal with him, like making a deal with the devil, that if he would help me drag his biography into existence, I would buy him enough heroin to get through each and every day we worked together.One day's worth of heroin for one day's worth of storytelling. This made it easy for him to make himself available for the writing of his biography. By the time I met Stephen he was almost fifty years old and in full blown heroin psychosis. How he managed to live as long as he had was always a miracle to me. Over the course of a year and several months I pulled every story Stephen could remember from his heroin-addled brain and preserved them on paper. But I never wanted this story to be an autobiography. I wanted it to be Stephen telling his story, in his words, no matter how it might look like in the end.With these rules in place I gave him his first computer and at first he slaved over his 'hunt and peak' computer skills. But the more he wrote the more he remembered and slowly, after three long years of exchanging one day of heroin to entice him to work one day of writing, Stephen declared himself finished with the project. I read what he had written and quickly realized that active heroin junkies make terrible writers. What he had produced was basically unusable. To make a three-year writing stint something of literary value I set myself to editing what he had written. I didn't want to strip it of the style of writing that made it junkie. More than anything else I wanted to preserve his perspective, sense of pain, his defeat, his single-minded approach to heroin and to the fact he knew it was going to kill him. I think that fatalistic view of life is what hit me the hardest.To make the book easy to digest I divided it into five segments and then spread his life between the points. And that is what we ended up with. The biography of a drug addict; barely touched by an editor's pen, and filled with the dirt, muck and blood that is a junkies life.

The Wrong Way: How Not to Walk the West Highland Way


Bart Stevens - 2014
     But when one night over a beer his friend suggests they do just that, he surprisingly agrees. It may have been slightly more than just one beer. In his own hapless style, Stevens recalls their adventure; six days of getting lost, scared, wet, tired and more than occasionally drunk.

The Beatles: 365 Days


Simon Wells - 2005
    Arranged chronologically, the photos trace the story of the band, from their emergence on the scene in England, through their rise to international superstardom, to their very public breakup in 1970. Every aspect of their evolution from mop-tops to legends is depicted, including their personal lives, performances, press conferences, recording sessions, public appearances, photo sessions, filmmaking, and more. The captions by Simon Wells are rich in detail and provide both band history and cultural context for the photographs, as well as quotes from members of the band and those associated with them that have never been published. The insatiable hunger for new books about the Beatles has never waned, and this arresting volume-with its wealth of never- and seldom-seen pictures that have long been embargoed at the Getty Images archive-will have a special appeal for all Beatles fans.

Behind The Door: the Real Story of Loretta Young


Edward J Funk - 2015
    Then, in 2012, Linda Lewis, Loretta Young’s daughter-in-law, called, urging me to finally bring this book to full life. I’ll be forever grateful to Loretta Young, a guarded woman by nature, who finally decided to tell a very personal story. In doing so, she enlisted the help of her three sisters and life-long friends. These people have all passed on, but their voices remain vividly in the present.Excerpts pertaining to Loretta’s relationship with Clark GableGable arrived at Loretta’s train compartment uninvited. She recalled,” I allowed him in as I would have any member of the crew, thinking he was there for a visit. He had other intentions. Very persistent intentions. He wasn’t rough, but I kept saying no, and he wouldn’t take no for an answer.” Loretta received a phone call from Ria Gable a few weeks later. Loretta recalled, "I was in Mama's room and I picked up the phone. Mrs. Gable said, 'This is very presumptuous of me, but you may or may not know that there are rumors flying around town about you and my husband.'”In 1998, when Loretta was eighty-five, she was watching television with Edward Funk. There was the mention of date-rape on the news, and she asked him what exactly did that mean. He explained to the best of his ability. The following day, Loretta called her daughter-in-law, Linda and said. “I know now that there was a word for what happened to me with Clark.”Clark Gable arrived on the set of THE CRUSADES. Loretta recalled, “He waited until I was through and then offered to take me home. We went for a drive up in the Hollywood Hills. He didn’t say much, but it was apparent that he was agitated. With the long silences, I felt very uncomfortable and finally felt the pressure to say something. I blurted out, ‘Would it make any difference if I told you that I wasn’t pregnant?’ He turned and looked at me and then asked, ‘Well, are you or aren’t you?’ I felt like such a fool. I didn’t know why I had said that except that I had tried to think of something to say he wanted to hear, my inherent need to please taken to an illogical length. I had to tell him that I was pregnant. His look toward me was one of total exasperation, and very little was said as he drove me home.” There would be some phone calls in the interim, but it would be more than a year before Loretta would see Clark Gable again. Loretta’s sister, Sally, "I remember taking an odd route to get there (the house in Westwood where Loretta and the baby were in hiding). My mother didn't approve that I was going at all because of all the secrecy, but I was dying to see the baby. She was very big by the time I did. I just loved her looks and kept saying, ‘Oh Loretta, I hope I have a baby that looks just like this.' In response to my enthusiasm about Judy, Loretta referred to Gable’s visit earlier in the week, the first time he had seen his daughter, and said, 'Yes, and do you know after all that has gone on, all that we've gone through, instead of having any interest in his daughter, he tried to knock me down on the bed! Can you imagine, Sally? That bastard! Who the hell does he think he is?' And I thought, 'With all that's happened, she thinks he's a bastard. He didn't understand that Loretta was a human being that had suffered very much.”Loretta acted like she couldn’t have been more flattered that MGM’s two biggest male stars (Clark Gable and Spencer Tracy) would come to see her (on the set of UNGUARDED HOUR). Under her smile she thought differently. She reflected, “I thought how different these two men were.

Little League Confidential: One Coach's Completely Unauthorized Tale of Survival


William Geist - 1992
    Just when it seems that Little League may be no place for a kid, this all-star line-up of conniving commissioners and mitt-impaired fielders sends the sport off and over the wall.Praise for Little League Confidential"Bill Geist is the funniest writer since Marcel Proust--I mean Mark Twain--no, make that Yogi Berra."--Russell Baker"A lighthearted romp . . . essential reading for seasons to come."--The New York Times Book Review"Very, very, very funny."--Larry King, USA Today

The Biggest Ever Tim Vine Joke Book


Tim Vine - 2010
    Packed full of zingers and hilarious illustrations, if this doesn't put a smile on your face, nothing will. What's not to like:The other day someone left a piece of plasticine in my dressing room. I didn't know what to make of it. I'm against hunting. I'm actually a hunt saboteur. I go out the night before and shoot the fox. I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah. He was trying to pull a fast one. Black holes. I don't know what people see in them. So I fancied a game of darts with my mate. He said, 'Nearest the bull goes first.' He went 'Baah' and I went 'Moo'. He said 'You're closest.' Velcro. What a rip-off. Black Beauty. He's a dark horse. I've got a sponge front door. Hey, don't knock it.

Finding My Badass Self: A Year of Truths and Dares


Sherry Stanfa-Stanley - 2017
    Her escapades range from visiting a nude beach with her seventy-five-year-old mother in tow to going on a raid with a vice squad and SWAT team to crashing a wedding (where she accidentally catches the bouquet). While finding her courage in the most unlikely of circumstances, Sherry ultimately finds herself. For midlifers, fatigued parents, and anyone who may be discontent with their life and looking to shake things up, try new things, or just escape, Finding My Badass Self is proof it's never too late to reinvent yourself--and that the best bucket list of all may be an unbucket list.

Remote: Reflections on Life in the Shadow of Celebrity


David Shields - 1996
    It is a remoteness that both perplexes and enthralls him.    Through dazzling sleight of hand in which the public becomes private and the private becomes public, the entire book—clicking from confession to family-album photograph to family chronicle to sexual fantasy to pseudo-scholarly footnote to reportage to personal essay to stand-up comedy to cultural criticism to literary criticism to film criticism to prose-poem to litany to outtake —becomes both an anatomy of American culture and a searing self-portrait.    David Shields reads his own life—reads our life—as if it were an allegory about remoteness and finds persuasive, hilarious, heartbreaking evidence wherever he goes.Winner of the PEN / Revson Award?

You're Only Human: A Guide to Life


The Gecko - 2013
    Turns out there’s so much more to him. He’s a philosopher, an aphorist, a humorist, an artist, a warm companion, a natural storyteller—and, in a grand tradition, a keenly observant and wise outsider who in the course of living and traveling among us has discovered quite a lot about the things that make us human. Figuratively speaking, of course. You’re Only Human is his brilliant take on people, written and illustrated with considerable charm.He makes curious and interesting observations on everything from dreams to job interviews to adversity, Twitter to the Golden Rule (it’s not what you think it is) to talking animals: I’m really not sure what all the fuss is about. Lots of animals talk, including humans. The bigger question is, what do you have to say worth listening to?You’re Only Human will reveal a remarkable character who is equally at home discussing the secrets of the universe, and pie and chips. How lucky we are to publish his first book.