The Funniest Thing You Never Said: The Ultimate Collection of Humorous Quotations


Rosemarie Jarski - 2004
    Quotations are ordered not by A-Z, but by thematic categories: love; business; religion; celebrity, you name it, every category is covered. The collection includes all the classics from Oscar Wilde to Winston Churchill, Dorothy Parker to Groucho Marx but also mines many new hidden gems from lesser lights and includes many contemporary quotes by everyone from Jilly Cooper to Jonathan Ross. A standard companion for new collectors, and a fresh perspective for serious quotation addicts.

Grumpy Old Men: The Official Handbook


Stuart Prebble - 2004
    Packed with funny chapters such as who are we, what are we grumpy about, and how can you spot the signs of grumpiness coming on, this book will leave even the grumpiest of men with a grin on his face.

Plato and a Platypus Walk Into a Bar: Understanding Philosophy Through Jokes


Thomas Cathcart - 2006
    Its Philosophy 101 for everyone who knows not to take all this heavy stuff too seriously. Some of the Big Ideas are Existentialism (what do Hegel and Bette Midler have in common?), Philosophy of Language (how to express what its like being stranded on a desert island with Halle Berry), Feminist Philosophy (why, in the end, a man is always a man), and much more. Finally it all makes sense!

He's Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys


Greg Behrendt - 2004
    For ages women have come together over coffee, cocktails, or late-night phone chats to analyze the puzzling behavior of men. Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo are here to say that —despite good intentions— you're wasting your time. Men are not complicated, although they'd like you to think they are. And there are no mixed messages. He's Just Not That Into You —based on a popular episode of Sex and the City— educates otherwise smart women on how to tell when a guy just doesn't like them enough, so they can stop wasting time making excuses for a dead-end relationship. This book knows you're a beautiful, smart, funny woman who deserves better.

The Tiny Book of Tiny Stories, Vol. 1


Joseph Gordon-Levitt - 2011
    With the help of the entire creative collective, Gordon-Levitt culled, edited and curated over 8,500 contributions into this finely tuned collection of original art from 67 contributors. Reminiscent of the 6-Word Memoir series, The Tiny Book of Tiny Stories: Volume 1 brings together art and voices from around the world to unite and tell stories that defy size.

English as a Second F*cking Language: How to Swear Effectively, Explained in Detail With Numerous Examples Taken from Everyday Life


Sterling Johnson - 1996
    Whether you want to succeed in business, school, or social circles, a strong command of vocabulary is absolutely necessary. Just imagine a stranger to our shores, trying to comprehend the following conversation: John: Mary, would you like to attend the opera this evening?Mary: F*cking-A. should I wear my black dress?John: Why the f*ck not?Mary: F*cked if I know-Oh, f*ck! I just remembered. It got f*cked up in the wash.John: Well, f*ck the opera. Let's stay home and f*ck.Mary: Good f*cking idea.English as a Second F*cking Language (ESF*L) is the perfect way for nonnative speakers to learn the basics of swearing. At the same time, it also offers native speakers a wide variety of twists and new refinements. Page after page, ESF*L provides a smorgasbord of swearing synonyms designed to boost your vocabulary-everything from the conventional d*mn and sh*t to a host of more inventive terms that would make any truck driver blush. And when you're finished reading, our Final F*cking Exam is the perfect test of your swearing skills. You'll be surprised by how much you've learned!

In Rude Health: The funniest and most explicit stories from the NHS


Robbie Guillory - 2013
    From doctors, nurses, physiotherapists, psychiatrists and dentists come a range of eye-popping, side-splitting acts of misadventure that have had the medical profession weeping into their face masks as they attended to members of the great British public in their hour of need. From the publishers of UK Booksellers Association Top 5 Christmas book, 101 Uses of a Dead Kindle, In Rude Health is a riotous account of the weird, the warped and the whacky ways we end up in the hands of the medical profession.

How to Speak Any Language Fluently: Fun, stimulating and effective methods to help anyone learn languages faster


Alex Rawlings - 2017
    It uses techniques that can easily be incorporated into your daily life, while making use of whatever resources you have available. Whether you are starting out with your first foreign language or wishing to add to your repetoire, you'll find a wealth of easy-to-follow advice and achievable goals. Discover how to:-Speak with greater confidence and accuracy-Effectively learn vocabulary and grammar -Use time on the internet and social media to learn a language-Read real books, websites and articles in a foreign language-Pass exams that certify your language skills

Scheisse!: The Real German You Were Never Taught in School


Gertrude Besserwisser - 1994
    Scheisse! introduces readers to the fine art of cursing and basic slang to spice up their German speech.If you think you have a fairly good command of German, think again. For it's a sure bet that Frau Schultz never taught you those nasty little guttural curses and humiliating invectives so expressive of real low German speech. But relax--here at last is the one book that can introduce you to the very worst beer-hall German. Scheisse! is an indispensable guide to off-color German colloquialisms and profanities--lascivious bedroom slang and boozy insults, jeering scatological put-downs and scurrilous ridicule. This hilarious illustrated cornucopia of creative expletives, guaranteed to vex, taunt, aggravate, and provoke as only overwrought low German can, will help you master the fine art of German verbal abuse--with triumphant one-upmanship.

How it Works: The Student


Jason A. Hazeley - 2016
    . . in other words the back-to-schoolers and the university goers. __________________________________This is a student.He is leaving home for the first time.By the time he graduates, he will be grown-up: exhausted, hideously in debt and unable to imagine going to bed sober.__________________________________Reynard has brought everything he needs for his first year.He unpacks his fancy-dress costumes, his four-way extension leads, his pair of pants and all his didgeridoos.By doing front, back, inside-out front, inside-out back, and using Febreze and Imodium, he plans to make his pants last until half term.__________________________________ This delightful book is part of a series of Ladybird books which have been specially planned to help grown-ups with the world about them. The large clear script, the careful choice of words, the frequent repetition and the thoughtful matching of text with pictures all enable grown-ups to think they have taught themselves to cope. Featuring original Ladybird artwork alongside brilliantly funny, brand new text. Other titles in the Ladybirds for Grown Ups series: How it Works: The Cat How it Works: The Dog How it Works: The Grandparent The Ladybird Book of the Meeting The Ladybird Book of Red Tape The Ladybird Book of the People Next Door The Ladybird Book of the Sickie The Ladybird Book of the Zombie ApocalypseHow it Works: The Husband How it Works: The Wife How it Works: The Mum How it Works: The Dad The Ladybird Book of the Mid-Life Crisis The Ladybird Book of the Hangover The Ladybird Book of Mindfulness The Ladybird Book of the Shed The Ladybird Book of Dating The Ladybird Book of the Hipster

Round Ireland with a Fridge


Tony Hawks - 1997
    Joined by his trusty traveling companion-cum-domestic appliance, he made his way from Dublin to Donegal, from Sligo through Mayo, Galway, Clare, Kerry, Cork, Wexford, Wicklow--and back again to Dublin. In their month of madness, Tony and his fridge met a real prince, a bogus king, and the fridge got christened. They surfed together, entered a bachelor festival, and one of them had sex without the other knowing. And unexpectedly, the fridge itself became a momentary focus for the people of Ireland.An international bestseller, Round Ireland with a Fridge is a classic travel adventure in the tradition of Bill Bryson with a dash of Dave Barry.

Don't Get Too Comfortable: The Indignities of Coach Class, The Torments of Low Thread Count, The Never-Ending Quest for Artisanal Olive Oil, and Other First World Problems


David Rakoff - 2005
    Whether David Rakoff's contrasting the elegance of one of the last flights of the supersonic Concorde with the good-times-and-chicken-wings populism of Hooters Air; working as a cabana boy at a South Beach hotel; or traveling to a private island off the coast of Belize to watch a soft-core video shoot where he is provided with his very own personal manservant rarely have greed, vanity, selfishness, and vapidity been so mercilessly skewered. Somewhere along the line, our healthy self-regard has exploded into obliterating narcissism; our manic getting and spending have now become celebrated as moral virtues. Simultaneously a Wildean satire and a plea for a little human decency, Don t Get Too Comfortable shows that far from being bobos in paradise, we are in a special circle of gilded-age hell.

They Have a Word for It: A Lighthearted Lexicon of Untranslatable Words & Phrases


Howard Rheingold - 1988
    From the North Pole to New Guinea, from Easter Island to Tibet, Howard Rheingold explores more than forty familiar and obscure languages to discover genuinely useful (rather than simply odd) words that can open up new ways of understanding and experience life.

Binge


Tyler Oakley - 2015
    Pop culture phenomenon, social rights advocate, and the most prominent LGBTQ+ voice on YouTube, Tyler Oakley brings you his first collection of witty, personal, and hilarious essays written in the voice that’s earned him more than 10 million followers across social media.

Non-Fiction


Chuck Palahniuk - 2004
    The pieces that comprise Non-Fiction prove just how different, in ways both highly entertaining and deeply unsettling. Encounters with alternative culture heroes Marilyn Manson and Juliette Lewis; the peculiar wages of fame attendant on the big budget film production of the movie Fight Club; life as an assembly-line drive train installer by day, hospice volunteer driver by night; the really peculiar lives of submariners; the really violent world of college wrestlers; the underground world of anabolic steroid gobblers; the harrowing circumstances of his father's murder and the trial of his killer - each essay or vignette offers a unique facet of existence as lived in and/or observed by one of America's most flagrantly daring and original literary talents.