The Art of Loving


Erich Fromm - 1956
    As with every art, love demands practice and concentration, as well as genuine insight and understanding.In his classic work, The Art of Loving, renowned psychoanalyst and social philosopher Erich Fromm explores love in all its aspects—not only romantic love, steeped in false conceptions and lofty expectations, but also brotherly love, erotic love, self-love, the love of God, and the love of parents for their children.

Understanding Men's Passages: Discovering the New Map of Men's Lives


Gail Sheehy - 1998
    Now Gail Sheehy guides contemporary men through the turbulent challenges and surprising pleasures that begin at forty. As a man crosses that threshold, he is bound to ask midlife's most troubling question: Now what? Work anxieties, concerns over sexual potency, marital and family stress, issues of power, all take on new urgency as men contemplate the decades ahead. But as Gail Sheehy reveals in this major new book, midlife is precisely the period when men are most likely to reinvent themselves and become masters of their fate. In Understanding Men's Passages, Sheehy offers all men--and the women in their lives--an essential guide to self-discovery.Hundreds of bold, imaginative men--celebrities as well as everyday heroes--share here their most intimate desires, deepest fears, and most fervent cravings for renewal. Decade by decade, Sheehy uncovers the real issues facing men today: finding new passion and purpose to invigorate the second half of their lives, dealing with "manopause," surviving job change, enjoying post-nesting zest, defeating depression, and learning what keeps a man young.Informative and inspiring, grounded in fact and full of fascinating life stories, Understanding Men's Passages is a landmark that will take its place beside Gail Sheehy's epoch-making Passages and New Passages.

The Manual: What Women Want and How to Give It to Them


W. Anton - 2010
    This is why guys that read it don't read or recommend anything else. Because the few men who "get it" spend the rest of their lives enjoying sexy girls in abundance - and so can you.You can learn to get ANY girl you want, the same way that all men who are naturally good with women have. The only difference is that you may learn it much FASTER, instead of wasting tons of time and money on fruitless dates or a new car/haircut/shirt that you BELIEVE will make you more attractive - but really doesn't.You see; men LACK success with women because they either don't understand what women are attracted to, or because they THINK that they do know, but have the wrong ideas and hence waste a lot of time - sometimes their entire life - chasing things they don't need. You know you have to get this book if you believe women want men with money, cars, or anything else that is manmade, because that doesn't make any sense. If women really were attracted to something unnatural, how did men meet women before any of those things were invented?The approach you'll learn in The Manual is very different from conventional dating and the advice you find in the mainstream media because it focuses on natural attraction - on what women REALLY want - not what they CLAIM they want or what males in general BELIEVE women want. It incorporate men's and women's socialization and explains phenomenas such as why men think women are attracted to things such as money (yet money is a man-made invention that has not even EXISTED very long) and why women "play hard to get" (a well-known phrase which amusingly reveals that women ARE easy but only pretend not to be).This is why the beginning of the book addresses your basic beliefs and mindset, because if you learn to THINK correctly, you will automatically behave correctly around women. Even if they are so stunning they normally take your breath away, your mind goes blank, and you run out of words.You already have what it takes to seduce women. Like, if you never run out of words around your close friends or family, you should be able to talk to a hot girl without making a fool out of yourself. The reason you seem to be a different person in such situations is because you ARE - you are NOT being yourself! You act differently because you were socialized to sabotage yourself. The Manual teaches you how to unlock your true potential and to bring out the real you - not change you into someone you are not.The method presented to get girls works on all women, no matter what language they speak, how young they are, or what type of relationship you might be looking for. It's universal because it's based on natural attraction, what all women are hardwired to respond to, and attraction is an emotion, not a decision.You can use it to get a sexy girlfriend, one night stands or even long-term relationships. You can use it to find true love, a soul mate, or just casual sex without commitment. And one of its best benefits is that it will make women want to be with you and appreciate you. The girls you get will REMAIN attractive even after you have formed a sexual relationship with them, because they are so happy to be with you. While most other guys who do get (average) girls, often find themselves with an average female who becomes even less attractive over time as she stops taking care of herself completely.All other dating books simply repeat conventional wisdom that doesn't work very well in reality, and even the best ones are about ACTING like an attractive man, not on how to BECOME one. But the problem is if you go around acting like someone besides yourself, even if you do start getting girls, it's not really YOU who are getting them. The Manual will show you how to get laid like a rock star, without being one, and without pretending to be one e

The Molecule of More: How a Single Chemical in Your Brain Drives Love, Sex, and Creativity—and Will Determine the Fate of the Human Race


Daniel Z. Lieberman - 2018
    In pursuit of these things, it is undeterred by emotion, fear, or morality. Dopamine is the source of our every urge, that little bit of biology that makes an ambitious business professional sacrifice everything in pursuit of success, or that drives a satisfied spouse to risk it all for the thrill of someone new. Simply put, it is why we seek and succeed; it is why we discover and prosper. Yet, at the same time, it’s why we gamble and squander. From dopamine’s point of view, it’s not the having that matters. It’s getting something—anything—that’s new. From this understanding—the difference between possessing something versus anticipating it—we can understand in a revolutionary new way why we behave as we do in love, business, addiction, politics, religion – and we can even predict those behaviors in ourselves and others. In The Molecule of More: How a Single Chemical in Your Brain Drives Love, Sex, and Creativity—and will Determine the Fate of the Human Race, George Washington University professor and psychiatrist Daniel Z. Lieberman, MD, and Georgetown University lecturer Michael E. Long present a potentially life-changing proposal: Much of human life has an unconsidered component that explains an array of behaviors previously thought to be unrelated, including why winners cheat, why geniuses often suffer with mental illness, why nearly all diets fail, and why the brains of liberals and conservatives really are different.

Talking to Strangers: What We Should Know About the People We Don’t Know


Malcolm Gladwell - 2019
    He was also producing for the ear. In the audiobook version of Talking to Strangers, you'll hear the voices of people he interviewed--scientists, criminologists, military psychologists. Court transcripts are brought to life with re-enactments. You actually hear the contentious arrest of Sandra Bland by the side of the road in Texas. As Gladwell revisits the deceptions of Bernie Madoff, the trial of Amanda Knox, and the suicide of Sylvia Plath, you hear directly from many of the players in these real-life tragedies. There's even a theme song - Janelle Monae's "Hell You Talmbout."Something is very wrong, Gladwell argues, with the tools and strategies we use to make sense of people we don't know. And because we don't know how to talk to strangers, we are inviting conflict and misunderstanding in ways that have a profound effect on our lives and our world.

Men, Women, and Worthiness: The Experience of Shame and the Power of Being Enough


Brené Brown - 2012
    shame—why one is a useful force for growth, while the other keeps us small• Discuss the four elements of shame resilience—identifying our triggers, practicing critical awareness, sharing our story, and speaking honestly about shame• Discuss empathy as the primary antidote to shameWhat does it take to be secure in our sense of belonging and self-worth? We may hustle to attain this security through achievements, meeting expectations, or repeating affirmations to ourselves—but Dr. Brené Brown's research has shown there is ultimately one obstacle to our sense of worthiness. "Shame is the barrier," she teaches, "and building shame resilience is how we overcome it." With Men, Women, and Worthiness, Dr. Brown draws upon more than 12 years of investigation to reveal how we can disarm the influence of shame to cultivate a life of greater courage, joy, and love. In this rich and heartfelt examination of this pivotal element of happiness, she invites you to explore:The differences and similarities between the experience of shame for men and women• Guilt vs. shame—why one is a useful force for growth, while the other keeps us small• The four elements of shame resilience—identifying our triggers, practicing critical awareness, sharing our story, and speaking honestly about shame• Empathy as the primary antidote to shame"Whether you are a man, woman, or child, every one of us has the irreducible need for love and belonging," Dr. Brown teaches. "A sense of self-worth, unhindered by the inner voices of shame, allows us to meet that need." With the warmth, candor, and humor that has made her a celebrated speaker, Brené Brown offers a road map for navigating the emotions that hold us back-so we can cultivate a life of authenticity and connection.

A General Theory of Love


Thomas Lewis - 2000
    Three eminent psychiatrists tackle the difficult task of reconciling what artists and thinkers have known for thousands of years about the human heart with what has only recently been learned about the primitive functions of the human brain.A General Theory of Love demonstrates that our nervous systems are not self-contained: from earliest childhood, our brains actually link with those of the people close to us, in a silent rhythm that alters the very structure of our brains, establishes life-long emotional patterns, and makes us, in large part, who we are. Explaining how relationships function, how parents shape their child’s developing self, how psychotherapy really works, and how our society dangerously flouts essential emotional laws, this is a work of rare passion and eloquence that will forever change the way you think about human intimacy.

Social: Why Our Brains Are Wired to Connect


Matthew D. Lieberman - 2013
    It is believed that we must commit 10,000 hours to master a skill.  According to Lieberman, each of us has spent 10,000 hours learning to make sense of people and groups by the time we are ten.  Social argues that our need to reach out to and connect with others is a primary driver behind our behavior.  We believe that pain and pleasure alone guide our actions.  Yet, new research using fMRI – including a great deal of original research conducted by Lieberman and his UCLA lab -- shows that our brains react to social pain and pleasure in much the same way as they do to physical pain and pleasure.  Fortunately, the brain has evolved sophisticated mechanisms for securing our place in the social world.  We have a unique ability to read other people’s minds, to figure out their hopes, fears, and motivations, allowing us to effectively coordinate our lives with one another.  And our most private sense of who we are is intimately linked to the important people and groups in our lives.  This wiring often leads us to restrain our selfish impulses for the greater good.  These mechanisms lead to behavior that might seem irrational, but is really just the result of our deep social wiring and necessary for our success as a species.   Based on the latest cutting edge research, the findings in Social have important real-world implications.  Our schools and businesses, for example, attempt to minimalize social distractions.  But this is exactly the wrong thing to do to encourage engagement and learning, and literally shuts down the social brain, leaving powerful neuro-cognitive resources untapped.  The insights revealed in this pioneering book suggest ways to improve learning in schools, make the workplace more productive, and improve our overall well-being.

The Art of Seduction


Robert Greene - 2001
    Now Greene has once again mined history and literature to distill the essence of seduction, the most highly refined mode of influence, the ultimate power trip. The Art of Seduction is a masterful synthesis of the work of thinkers such as Freud, Ovid, Kierkegaard, and Einstein, as well as the achievements of the greatest seducers throughout history. From Cleopatra to John F. Kennedy, from Andy Warhol to Josephine Bonaparte, The Art of Seduction gets to the heart of the character of the seducer and his or her tactics, triumphs and failures. The seducer's many faces include: the Siren, the Rake, the Ideal Lover, the Dandy, the Natural, the Coquette, the Charmer, and the Charismatic. Twenty-four maneuvers will guide readers through the seduction process, providing cunning, amoral instructions for and analysis of this fascinating, all-pervasive form of power. Just as beautifully packaged and every bit as essential as The 48 Laws of Power, The Art of Seduction is an indispensable primer of persuasion and offers the best lessons on how to take what you want from whomever you want or how to prevent yourself from being taken.

How to be a Gentleman


John Bridges - 1998
    This book is an indispensable guide for men of all ages who aspire to become gentlemen.

Spiral Dynamics


Don Edward Beck - 2005
    Focusing on cutting-edge leadership, management systems, processes, procedures, and techniques, the authors synthesize changes such as: Increasing cultural diversity.Powerful new social responsibility initiatives.The arrival of a truly global marketplace. This is an inspiring book for managers, consultants, strategists, and leaders planning for success in the business world in the 21st century.

Maps of Meaning: The Architecture of Belief


Jordan B. Peterson - 1999
    A cutting-edge work that brings together neuropsychology, cognitive science, and Freudian and Jungian approaches to mythology and narrative, Maps of Meaning presents a rich theory that makes the wisdom and meaning of myth accessible to the critical modern mind.

Nine Ball: Confessions of an Angst-Ridden Maniac Who Decided to Get Laid or Die Trying


Jeff Allen - 2009
    There, would-be players shared their field reports, strategies, and results. They compared notes, exchanged critiques, and figured out a body of knowledge that defied everything men had ever been told about getting women--what has since come to be known as "game."The undisputed king of the field report was a player named "jlaix." This was the handle of Jeff Allen, who would go on to be a founding member of Real Social Dynamics with Tyler Durden and Papa, all of whom play major roles in Neil Strauss's "The Game," the bestselling expose of the world of pickup artists. In an arena founded on one-upmanship, Jeff Allen did it bigger and better than anyone. "Get Laid or Die Trying" presents in utterly shameless, hilarious, and graphic detail, Jeffy's gritty, 100 percent real, and jaw-droppingly astonishing feats of seduction, revealing exactly how one goes about: - Attracting the girl you want by sleeping with all of her friends- Getting into the pants of the hottest girl at the party--a total stranger--in less than thirty minutes- Deflecting last-minute resistance with a single word- Pulling a chick who is surrounded by ten jealous guys- Cutting out enormous dudes that could easily pound you to a "fine red mist"- Getting threesomes as your default extraction- Having a stable so big you have to trim it down, and other "quality problems"- Convincing a girl you just met that before you fuck her, she must mow your lawn Jeff's tactics produce superhuman results, yet he doesn't do anything you couldn't do--now that you've seen it done. The worst part? You could have been doing this your whole life.

Mating in Captivity: Reconciling the Erotic and the Domestic


Esther Perel - 2006
    She invites us to explore the paradoxical union of domesticity and sexual desire, and explains what it takes to bring lust home.In her 20 years of clinical experience, Perel has treated hundreds of couples whose home lives are empty of passion. They describe relationships that are open and loving, yet sexually dull. What is going on?In this explosively original book, Perel explains that our cultural penchant for equality, togetherness, and absolute candor is antithetical to erotic desire for both men and women. Sexual excitement doesn't always play by the rules of good citizenship. It is politically incorrect. It thrives on power plays, unfair advantages, and the space between self and other. More exciting, playful, even poetic sex is possible, but first we must kick egalitarian ideals and emotional housekeeping out of our bedrooms.While Mating in Captivity shows why the domestic realm can feel like a cage, Perel's take on bedroom dynamics promises to liberate, enchant, and provoke. Flinging the doors open on erotic life and domesticity, she invites us to put the "X" back in sex.©2006 Esther Perel (P)2006 HarperCollins Publishers

The Highly Sensitive Person in Love: Understanding and Managing Relationships When the World Overwhelms You


Elaine N. Aron - 1996
    And, if you are one of the 20 percent of people who are born highly sensitive, the risk of an unhappy relationship is especially high. Your finely tuned nervous system, which picks up on subtleties and reflects deeply, would be a romantic asset if both you and your partner understood you better. But without that understanding, your sensitivity is likely to be making your close relationships painful and complicated.Based on Elaine N. Aron’s groundbreaking research on temperament and intimacy, The Highly Sensitive Person in Love offers practical help for highly sensitive people seeking happier, healthier romantic relationships. From low-stress fighting to sensitive sexuality, the book offers a wealth of practical advice on making the most of all personality combinations. Complete with illuminating self-tests and the results of the first survey ever done on sex and temperament, The Highly Sensitive Person in Love will help you discover a better way of living and loving.