Be Very Afraid.From ghosts, vampires, and zombies to serial killers, cannibalistic hillbillies, and haunted Japanese videocassettes, How to Survive a Horror Movie shows how to defeat every obstacle found in scary films. Readers will discover:- How to Perform an Exorcism - What to Do If You Did Something Last Summer - How to Persuade the Skeptical Local Sheriff - How to Vanquish a Murderous Doll - How to Survive an Alien Invasion - How to Tell If You've Been Dead Since the Beginning of the Movieand much, much more. Complete with useful instructions, insane illustrations, and a list of 100 important films to study, How to Survive a Horror Movie is essential reading for prom queens, jocks, teenage babysitters, and anyone employed by a summer camp.

    National television.

    You will probably wish you still didn’t.YouTube sensation Stuart Ashen is back with his second instalment of terrible old computer games you’ve probably never heard of... because what the world needs right now is to know exactly how bad Domain of the Undead for the Atari 8-bit computers was.Attack of the Flickering Skeletons is even bigger than the original Terrible Old Games You’ve Probably Never Heard Of – this second excavation of gaming’s buried past will not only unearth more appalling excuses for digital entertainment, but also feature guest contributors and several special interest chapters not based around single specific games.These are NOT the games you’ve heard of a million times in YouTube videos. This is a compilation of truly obscure and dreadful games. Dripping with wry humour and featuring the best, worst graphics from the games themselves, this book encapsulates the atrocities produced in the days of tight budgets and low quality controls.These are even more appalling games that leaked from the industry’s tear ducts, taken down from the dusty shelves of history by the man who has somehow made a living by sticking rubbish on a sofa and talking about it.

     Curb Your Enthusiasm: The Book is complete with stories about Larry David's childhood, his roots as a stand-up comic, and his various writing jobs before the breakthrough of Seinfeld. Readers will enjoy dating stories from his bachelor years, discover how he met his future wife, Laurie David, and learn why Cheryl Hines was picked to play his TV wife. A highlighted map of Santa Monica shows locations where favorite Curb scenes were filmed, such as the Toyota of Hollywood where Larry works as a car salesman. Ever wonder if there's a story behind the creation of Krazee-Eyez Killa's infamous rap? There is, and it's in this book, along with the tale of the ordinary afternoon lunch where the idea for Curb Your Enthusiasm was first formed. Perhaps best of all, fans can finally see Larry David's original scene outlines-just a few sentences from which the actors improvise-which eventually evolve into the carefully edited comedy that we see on air. After five hilarious seasons, Curb Your Enthusiasm: The Book offers fans an intimate view of the people, experiences, and stories behind one of television's funniest shows. Curb Your Enthusiasm: The Book is filled with hilarious images, insights, and behind-the-scenes moments, including: * Original interviews with and commentary from more than 100 cast and crew members, guest actors, comics, and friends and family, including Cheryl Hines, Jeff Garlin, Susie Essman, and Richard Lewis * An in depth, four-section interview with Larry David, covering everything from his childhood in Brooklyn to his emergence into the world of comedy and television. * Never-before-seen outlines from the show that are the basis for episode storylines. * Detailed episode guides for the show's first five seasons. * More than 100 full-color photographs.

    Twirty-Something: A Young Woman's Guide to Giant Underwear is a hilarious new Kindle Single from Award-Winning and Amazon Best-Selling author and humorist Ingrid Reinke.On the cold January day when Ingrid Reinke turned 30, she looked back upon the last decade of her life in deep thought before finally shaking her head and mumbling to herself the following insight: "Wow, what a shit show."So, she sat down, braless and alone, and penned a collection of laugh-out-loud essays about the ridiculous, shocking and occasionally horrifying things that happen to us as we ungracefully age from 20 to 30, try, semi-successfully, to leave our clueless years behind and become mature, responsible grown-up women.From weird hairs to boob sweat, OCD to weddings, Twirty-Something swings between a no-holds-barred conversation and a cautionary tale about aging and all the crap that comes along with it.Sometime instruction manual, sometime commiseration partner, get ready for Reinke's honest and occasionally potty-mouthed accounts of this tumultuous decade.So hike up your yoga pants, plop another ice cube in your Pinot Grigio and get ready to laugh at the author, young women in general, and most of all at yourself.

    Here are more than 700 of Isaac Asimov's favorite jokes, cleverest limericks and funniest stories.

    His slow descent into semi-madness is chronicled here, in The Office, The Scripts volume 2. Following on from the phenomenal success of series 1 voted Comedy of the Year at the British Comedy Awards the second series averaged over 4 million viewers, with a 25% audience share. This book features the scripts from all six episodes and contains over 500 picture screengrabs taken from the broadcast masters and available exclusively in this BBC publication. Original and accurate and painfully funny: it will have every office in the country twitching with spasms of recognition This is a gem. The Times

    In this mock autobiographical collection his mischievous drawings capture life's anxieties and ambitions from the mundane to the surreal. Here, at last, is The Truth about beer, doctors, shadow puppets, lunch, dolphins, boredom, and supernatural forces. Seductively strange and addictively amusing, this edgy little book welcomes the uninitiated and rewards the faithful.

    Young readers can find the answers to thousands of off-the-wall questions quickly and effortlessly in this fascinating, funny resource. Full color.

    Because after you have read this book, you, Good Sir, will know how to be a pro athlete. And pro athletes don't need books. Or strong family bonds. Or any of that stupid crap. Not when they have ready access to millions of dollars and scores of smoking hot chicks with questionable judgment. This book will be all you require to cast aside your boring life as some jackass who cruises around bookstores hoping to score grad-school trim. With Men with Balls, you will learn how to: Showboat using classical pantomime techniques Figure out whether or not a stripper actually fancies you Emotionally cope from the emotional fallout of rookie year hazing games Find out which free locker room amphetamines will give you a shot of energy, and which will cause you to run down terrified schoolchildren with your Escalade (NOTE: Some do both) Avoid media scrutiny by directing beat writers and columnists to the nearest hot buffet So grab your balls, bookboy. You're about to become a home-run hitting, steroid-injecting, angry-orgy-having Turbostud. They're gonna need a whole ocean just to wash your jock.

    "The sad thing is, I like it" - Maurice Sendak"The perfect gift to give a child or grandchild for their high school or college graduation.Also Father's Day.Also, other times." - Stephen Colbert

    35), do the perfect manicure (p. 82), or make your own lip gloss (p. 11).Feel like impressing your friends? Show them how you can make a crystal (p. 16), juggle one-handed (p. 33), or deal with a bully (p. 42).Bored and need something to do? Not anymore when you find out how to keep a secret diary (p. 88), make a scrapbook (p. 9), or put together a dance routine (p. 24).And tons of other neat-o things you need to know how to do!

    A fascinating historical document has now emerged which shows that there were indeed rules and in 1973 they were recorded on paper by none other than DCI Gene Hunt himself.Divided into ten sections, The Rules of Modern Policing - 1973 Edition covers everything from interrogating suspects and undercover operations to driving and dress code. Several of the rules are illustrated with diagrams, and photographs of DCI Hunt himself illustrate the more physical parts of the job: how to hit suspects so you don't leave a mark; how to signal the importance of your arrival by crashing into inanimate objects (cardboard boxes are a perfect example here - lots of noise; no damage to your motor); how to roll over the bonnet of your Cortina without making a dick of yourself. Completing the book is an invaluable glossary of police terms, covering everything from blag to lag, and nonce to ponce.An essential reference work for fans of Life of Mars, The Rules of Modern Policing offers a unique insight to seventies' law enforcement that will make you laugh until you cry like the wet little turd you are.

    Learn more about Peter, Lois, Meg, Chris, Stewie, Brian, and friends than you can shake a stick at -- or, in Brian's case, shake a martini at!There's a ton of insider stuff too:Commentary from the show's creator, producers, writers, and voice-over artists, including thoughts about those guys at Fox who did the unthinkable (like canceling the show) ...and then the unheard of (like bringing it back to the network!)Behind-the-scenes jokes and pranksSubtle things you may have missedAnd lots moreIt's all here -- Family Guy, uncanceled, unbanned, and uncensored!It's a must-have for all Family Guy fans.

    Reprint.