And this time he's got a baby. William Walker loves his gorgeous wife and new son – even if he did faint at the birth. What man wouldn't, after two whole days of labour and only one small sip of (medicinal) whiskey to sustain him? But now he's a father, and a proud one at that. It's just a shame that parenthood doesn't stop him doing the wrong thing at precisely the wrong time, with comically catastrophic results for his small – and increasingly exasperated – family.This hilarious romantic comedy will have you laughing out loud as William battles everything from floods to the Machiavellian denizens of a sinister Kentish village with more than a few hints of Royston Vasey…

    With full-color photo essays, the author guides readers past good taste, sense and even logic into the magical, mayhem-ridden world known as his life.

    Packed with funny chapters such as who are we, what are we grumpy about, and how can you spot the signs of grumpiness coming on, this book will leave even the grumpiest of men with a grin on his face.

    Most of the stories in the book concern sex, drugs, venereal disease and diarrhea or a combination

    Haruna's deathly appearance shocks her friends when she returns to school in The Red Satchel. In Two Sisters, young beautiful Ms. Numata's outer appearance hides a ghastly truth. And in Caterpillar no one can understand Mayuko's obsession with caterpillars...

    Apparently it’s fine for Scrimshaw Travel to make last minute amendments to the holiday without incurring any penalties or reducing the price in any way. That’s what the indifferent courier tells him on day one of the tour as she arrives in a clapped-out, old coach being driven by a partially-sighted driver. With the spa hotel replaced by a rundown guest house staffed by a neurotic manager, decrepit waitress and under-sexed, Italian waiter there doesn’t appear to be much of the brochure-described holiday left. Thank goodness for Angela, the rather lovely woman Derek pals up with on the journey down. She might just make the trip bearable. If only the other members of the group would leave them alone long enough to get to know each other, but Derek has always had the ability to attract the eccentric characters to him and he can’t escape them. Still, perhaps they’ll surprise him as he learns about their lives and secrets as they move from one hilarious excursion to another. And maybe Angela will provide one or two surprises herself. Driven to Distraction is a fun romp through the English countryside with characters finding love and friendship while travelling at twenty miles an hour. (Well, it is a clapped-out, old coach).

    Here, genteel dinner parties hide murderers; sparkling balls harbour dastardly villains; and every light society conversation hints at a darker scandal.The Earl of Calaway and his wife, Adelia, have raised and married off seven daughters. Now free of domestic duties, they are building an enterprise as private detectives of a very personal nature, guaranteeing to keep aristocratic reputations intact.In this short story, which can be read at any point in the series of full-length novels, Adelia and Theodore are invited to the trouble-ridden parish of Peverham where the local vicar is convinced that the death of Sir Phileas Hinge was no accident.After all, so many people wanted him dead. Sir Phileas’s ancestral home of Pever House is now occupied by the bombastic Vice Admiral Frankhaus, and both men hated each other. Then there are the Smiths – the oldest and most established family in the area – who look down on everyone else as being merely shabby new money. All three families – the Hinges, the Frankhauses and the Smiths – are vying for control of the parish, and this comes to a head when the vicar asks for money for a new bell in the church. Each family wants to be the one who contributes the most and to have the bell inscribed with their name for all time.The death of Hinge removes one of the players – but who will be next? Theodore and Adelia race to discover the murderer before death strikes again.This book is written in British English by an actual Brit who used to have to curtsey to the local aristocrat from “the big house” when she visited the village school at Christmas. The spelling and grammar is British English throughout. Splendid!

     Includes Overdue Account, Walter's Cargo Shorts, Simon's Piecharts, Missing Missy, Obviously a Foggot, Formal Complaints, Justin’s Floodlight, Matthew’s Party, Permission Slip and many more.

    

     Within days, the lethal Medusa virus is burning across the globe like a wildfire. Society crumbles as a terrified populace seeks refuge from the horrifying spread of the disease. In Virginia, Dr. Adam Fisher struggles to save his dying patients while he remains inexplicably immune. In New York City, Sarah Wells, an Army captain harboring a tragic secret, is ordered to maintain a military quarantine at all costs. And in Georgia, aging football star Freddie Briggs grieves as his family falls, one by one, to the disease. For these three survivors, staying alive was just the beginning. VOID Civilization is but a memory, and this is the dismal world left behind. As Adam, Sarah, and Freddie trek across a ruined American landscape, the challenges mount, including the horrifying prospect that the Medusa virus may not yet be done with the survivors. EVERGREEN Adam and his fellow travelers take refuge in Evergreen, a lonely town in Oklahoma that promises a better future for all of them. But as Adam acts on the thinnest of leads regarding his quest, a new threat from within may prove his downfall. CITADEL Every apocalypse has an end. Having lost everything, Adam embarks on a dangerous journey to find a missing loved one. To save her, he will venture deep into the heart of darkness, where he will come face to face with the shocking truth about the plague that destroyed humanity. THE LIVING Thirteen years have passed since the Medusa virus wiped out nearly 99 percent of the world's population and pushed humanity to the brink of extinction. Climate change triggered by nuclear skirmishes in the last fevered days of civilization decimated agriculture and livestock, and the hardened survivors battle for what few resources remain. Eleven-year-old Will Callahan is one of the lucky ones. In their small community in Nebraska, he and his parents have access to food, clean water, weapons, and medical care. More importantly, he's the only child known to have survived infancy since the plague. But everything changes when someone comes looking for him. A POST APOCALYPTIC EPIC SPANNING NEARLY 1,000 PAGES AND TWO DECADES

     By Your Side- Jake Miller likes his life. It’s simple and quiet. Solitary. He’s taking the last thing his mother truly cared about before she died, the properties she owned, and making them his purpose. His time in the Army hadn’t allowed him to be there for her before, but this is something he can do now. Just him and his dog. Exactly how he wants it. Until her, his first tenant. With her innate openness and blinding smiles, the opposite of everything he thought he could possibly want. Casey Steadman has less to show for her twenty-nine years than she’d hoped. No white picket fence. No 2.5 kids. And definitely no loving husband. Just a few lukewarm relationships, an exceedingly crappy apartment, and a fabulous shoe collection (and the credit card debt to prove it). Moving into her new place is one big, high heeled step towards a new life. The stable, make-boring-mature-decisions kind of life that she needs to be able to prove to her family that she can live. What she wasn’t planning on was her hotter-than-Hades new landlord. Sparks are a-flying, and they’re the kind that can only come from a stiletto-loving, dog-hating, budget-repelling, relentlessly optimistic, youngest of five becoming the tenant and next door neighbor to a stoically silent, slightly pessimistic, ‘my only friend is my dog’, only child and former Army Ranger. Casey and Jake are total opposites. But when they come together, it just might be true love. Light Me Up- For Rachel Hennessy, it’s been an interesting six months. Boyfriend? Cheated on her. Job? She totally just got fired. Starting her own wedding planning business sounds exciting … in theory. In reality, it’s completely terrifying. And on top of all that, the freaking cherry right on top? She just had an ill-timed, alcohol-instigated one-night stand with her bff Casey’s brother, Tate. Yeah, that Tate. The one that she’s had a teensy, inconvenient crush on for years. But nothing about it is ill-timed or inconvenient for Tate Steadman. Because he finally feels free. Free of the oppressive relationship he’d been in for the past six years. Free to pursue Rachel, because one alcohol-fueled night was not even close to enough for him. He just wished she saw it that way. Because she makes him want more than he ever knew he was capable of. When their one night has unexpected consequences, Rachel has no clue how to trust that he’s not just trying to be ‘the good guy’ who wants to do ‘the right thing’. And even though the chemistry between them practically burns down an entire city block when they’re together, she doesn’t know how to let down the concrete wall she’s built up around herself. The ‘mistake’ of one evening can change the trajectory of two lives, but maybe a mistake is all they really need to push them right into true love. Tell Them Lies- Liz Peters hasn’t exactly gotten the happily-ever-after she’s read about in her Jane Austen books. ‘Always a bridesmaid’ is more fitting to the way life has been passing this good girl by. About to go postal from loneliness, she meets a man who doesn’t seem to fit any of her requirements for a book-worthy hero. Kieran Carter would do just about anything to put a smile on his terminally ill mother’s face. When he meets a woman in the ice cream aisle at the grocery store, Kieran finally has opportunity to do just that. If he needs to lie in order to give his mom a little hope? Not a freakin problem.

    Of endless weekdays, working weekends, making presentations, working with complicated Excel sheets, handling a boss with time-management issues and the general politics of the workplace. Sigh! After eight years of this life, her only personal insight is that she's terribly unambitious and constantly struggling to be an average performer in the competitive corporate world. When a colleague flashes the glint of a golden sabbatical she catapults into it headfirst. After all, one has to find one's calling at some point in one's life. So will the sabbatical miraculously change her life forever? Or will she go rushing back to her pocket money-generating job?

    Smart phones can make us look really dumb! Get this e-book and laugh your #@% off at what happens when you don't double-check before you hit send! Please Note: Some profanity, not for children!

    It's OK." Over one hundred contributors share their failures, setbacks and most embarrassing moments for this compilation of hilarity with the hopes that their stories would give the embarrassed and struggling souls some comic and inspirational relief. Life is riddled with pain, disappointments, and failures, but given enough time, they're folly. "We're All A Mess. It's OK" captures life's most absurd moments honestly and without a filter. It's filled with funny essays and one-liners that highlight the grainier sides of being human and imperfect. The book covers everything from horrible internet dating experiences, the strangest of co-workers, vacations that went array, to the worst holiday gifts of all time. It's an anthology of real-life disasters. You'll enjoy comedian/actor Kim Banta's tale, "My First Date and a Sluggish Toilet," detailing a first date in the nicest home in town, ending with an overflowing toilet and panicked placement of poo into her purse. And... "You Must Have Me Confused With Someone Else" depicts Dane Levent's severe behavior problems with her golden retriever, Buddy, after picking him up from boarding, only to find out a week later that she had the wrong dog. And... "He's Worth the Wait" by Bes. D describes her mother-in-law's long-term relationship with a convicted felon she had met on Meet-An-Inmate.com. And... "Saying ‘I'm Sorry' Will Not Fix This Situation" by Ashley P. is a hilarious tale of turning her best date into her worst date by leaping onto her partner's lap, causing what is called in medical terminology, a penile fracture. And... Follow along with Traci Jo's daily embarrassment by her mother, picking her up from school wearing different wigs, such as Dorothy Hamill and Marilyn Monroe. And... Read an entire chapter dedicated to strange conditions, such as Shelley Miner Gardler's need to gather her pets before she goes to work to tell them goodbye and to assign one to be in charge while she's away. And... Discover why Christine T sorts M&Ms in ROYGBIV order and eats them first by frequency until they're even, and then one of each color in order, until they're gone. These humorous essays and quips are about the blunders and snafus, and of everyday life that most of us can relate to. It's like "Chicken Soup for the Soul" if you threw in snark and expletives. If you like Jenn Mann, Samantha Irby and Jenny Lawson, you will love "We're All A Mess. It's OK." Get a copy for your funniest friends, or for grouchy people, maybe it will cheer them up. The book is an easy read and offers a real message that we all can survive, even the worst of failures and ultimately, even though we're all a mess, it's OK. Snarky women, quip, short stories, essays, funny, humorous essays, humor essays, gifts for women, funny stories, dating, relationships, failures, work, family, cats, dogs, alpacas.

    Unfortunately they have no real resources, no good plans, and no idea what the hell they're doing. What they do have is an army of foul-mouthed monkeys who want them dead, a beautiful woman who wants some answers, a sex-crazed tribal chief, a caffeine-addicted demigod who wants to be worshipped, and a telepathic skull who just wants a little excitement. Through nonstop comedy and good old-fashioned adventure these guys are facing some long odds but do Ron and Willy give up? No they don't. They get down to business. Monkey Business.