But beating out brainiac Gina's grades is not one of those things! In Big Nate Makes the Grade, the school life goings-on of Nate, his pals, and his long-suffering teachers are recounted in hilarious detail. Now in full-color!

    Godfrey catch him in the act? Find out what happens next!The activities are brand-new for Big Nate fans!Diary of a Wimpy Kid author Jeff Kinney says, "Big Nate is funny, big time!"

    Filled with righteous fury, Pigeon loses his temper and complains bitterly about this terrible state of affairs. However, things aren't what they seem, and Duckling has a secret plan! Part of the bestselling Pigeon series by genius children's book author and illustrator Mo Willems.

    Join Garfield as he begins his comic book exploits with Jon, Odie, and the rest of the gang in this all-ages must-read from KaBOOM! THE GARFIELD SHOW writer and comics luminary Mark Evanier teams up with beloved Garfield strip cartoonist Gary Barker to bring you all the laughs (and lasagna) you can handle.

    Enjoy more than two years of Sunday cartoons, portraying the colorful life of  Nate Wright. This spunky eleven-year-old holds the school record for detentions and is in little chance of losing that distinction, but that doesn't stop him from dreaming big!He's a self-described genius, a sixth-grade renaissance man, and a full-fledged believer in his future as a cartoonist. Equipped with a No. 2 pencil and the unshakable belief that he is No. 1, Nate fights a daily battle against overzealous teachers, undercooked cafeteria food, and all-around conventionality.

    Now, in The Beast in Him, one gorgeous lone wolf is about to meet his match...Some things are so worth waiting for. Like the moment when Jessica Ward "accidentally" bumps into Bobby Ray Smith and shows him just how far she's come since high school. Back then, Jess's gangly limbs and bruised heart turned to jelly any time Smitty's "all the better to ravish you with" body came near her. So, some things haven't changed. Except now Jess is a success on her own terms. And she can enjoy a romp--or twenty--with a big, bad wolf and walk away. EasyMace Llewellyn. Brendon Shaw. Two tall, gorgeous, sexy alpha heroes who are 100% male--with a little something extra. Lion-shifters, to be exact, who can unleash every woman;s animal side and still look good--make that spectacular--in a suit...and even better out of it...NYPD cop Desiree "Dez" MacDermot knows she's changed a lot since she palled around with her childhood buddy, Mace. But it's fair to say that Mace has changed even more. It isn't just those too-sexy gold eyes, or the six-four, built-like-a-Navy Seal body. It's something in the way he sniffs her neck and purrs, making her entire body tingle...Meanwhile, for Tennessean Ronnie Lee Reed, New York City is the place where any girl--even one who runs with a Pack--can redefine herself. First order of business: find a mate, settle down, and stop using men for sex. Even big, gorgeous, lion shifter men like Brendon Shaw. But she needn't worry, because now that Brendon's set his sights on her, the predator in him is ready to pounce and never let go...Seeing is deceiving. And Ric Van Holtz, the wolfishly sexy hero of Shelly Laurenston's sizzling, wildly entertaining new tale, is nothing you expect-and everything you want...When it comes to following her instincts, former Marine Dee-Ann Smith never holds back. And this deadly member of a shifter protection group will do anything to prove one of her own kind is having hybrids captured for dogfights. Trouble is, her too-cute rich-boy boss Ric Van Holtz insists on helping out. And his crazy-like-a-fox smarts and charming persistence are making it real hard for Dee to keep her heart safe...He's big, burly, and way smarter than your average shapeshifting bear. He's also about to get rapped by his own game...Lou Crushek is a reasonable, mellow, easygoing kind of guy. But once someone starts killing the scumbags he works so hard to bust, that really gets under his fur. Especially when that someone is a curvy she-tiger with a skill set that's turning Crush's lone-bear world upside down--and bringing his passion out of hibernation...

    It's such a sorry sight! My T-Rex has a toothache it's put him off his food he wont eat porkchops... Triceratops... or anything that's stewed" Best read in landscape Fully optimized for Kindle Fire and IPad What does a boy do when he's pet T-Rex has a toothache? A fun book to read a-loud, told in rhyme and colorfully illustrated throughout.

    He left his poor roots behind, and now is seeking revenge for the girl that not only got away, but took the last of his trust with her. Jasmine Freeman had loved Derek with a teenager’s naiveté and because her father lied to her, she spent ten years thinking he had left her, and she has a secret that he is about to find out. The Tycoon's Vacation: Book Two - Drew Titan decides it is time to take a vacation at one of his exotic resorts, and ends up literally running into Trinity Mathews while he is surfing. They end up having a steamy romance over the weeklong vacation, until she finds out he is the resort’s owner, and had lied to her. The Tycoon's Proposal: Book Three Nicole Lander has no choice but to contact Ryan Titan, the boy she had loved beyond compare when she was a teenager. Her sister was in desperate need of a heart operation, or she would not live more than six months. Nicole had lied to Ryan when they were teen’s because she had not wanted him to find out about the abuse she was going through from her father. The Tycoon's Secret: Book Four Damien Whitfield lost his father when he was an infant, and then lost his mother when he was a young teenager. The only thing his mother left him was a thirst for vengeance. On her deathbed she made him promise to seek revenge for those she held responsible for her death. The Lost Tycoon: Book Five Fighting to survive, Misty Elton takes one look at the man standing in front of her and knows she needs to make a decision – does she want to live? Discovering that her boyfriend is storing enough drugs to supply a small country, she looks for an escape route. He’s standing in the doorway – standing in the way of her freedom.

    From the water's surface, it's a simple exercise: a dog's leap, a splash, and then a wet head surfacing with a ball, triumphant. But beneath the water is a chaotic ballet of bared teeth and bubbles, paddling paws, fur and ears billowing in the currents. From leaping Lab to diving Dachshund, the water is where a dog's distinct personality shines through; some lounge in the current, paddling slowly, but others arch their bodies to cut through the water with the focus and determination of a shark. In more than eighty portraits, award-winning pet photographer and animal rights activist Seth Casteel captures new sides of our old friends with vibrant underwater photography that makes it impossible to look away. Each image bubbles with exuberance and life, a striking reminder that even in the most loveable and domesticated dog, there are more primal forces at work. In Underwater Dogs, Seth Casteel gives playful and energetic testament to the rough-and-tumble joy that our dogs bring into our lives.

    They growl for your touch. And in these sizzling stories by New York Times bestselling author Shelly Laurenston and Cynthia Eden, these sexy wolf shapeshifters are lust at first bite. . .Like A Wolf With A Bone by Shelly LaurenstonQuiet little Darla Lewis couldn't be happier when the most-feared member of the South's rowdiest pack kidnaps her. A girl gets real tired of being overprotected by her own shifter family, and there's nothing like an oh-so-big bad wolf to start a pack feud, unleash her instincts--and have her surrender however and whenever she wants. . .Wed Or Dead by Cynthia EdenGage Ryder knew his human bride had a wild side. But spending their honeymoon night on the run from hunters out to finish him and his pack is sure not the kind of fun he was looking forward to. No problem--Gage will do whatever it takes to lay bare Kayla's secrets and find the truth. If he can keep from being captured by his own seductive game. . .

    It's my first day at a different school and the only person I know is my cousin, Zoe (but she might be a little too cool for me). I was just another scrawny kid until a group of ninjas recruited me into their clan. It was a world of trouble I wasn't prepared for, which is why I kept this diary (or "chronicle" as my dad would call it) - to warn other kids about the dangers of becoming a ninja. They say history is destined to repeat itself... well, not if I can help it.Diary of a 6th Grade Ninja is a funny thriller that's entertaining for kids, middle school students, and adults.

    

    Posing as a former beauty queen turned librarian in a small, bayou town seems worse than death to Fortune, but she's determined to fly below the radar until her boss finds the leak and puts the arms dealer out of play.Unfortunately, she hasn't even unpacked a suitcase before her newly-inherited dog digs up a human bone in her backyard. Thrust into the middle of a bayou murder mystery, Fortune teams up with a couple of seemingly-sweet old ladies whose looks completely belie their hold on the little town. To top things off, the handsome local deputy is asking her too many questions. If she's not careful, this investigation may blow her cover and get her killed.Armed with her considerable skills and a group of old ladies referred to by locals as The Geritol Mafia, Fortune has no choice but to solve the murder before it's too late.

    Why should the afterlife be any different? We are given a choice when we die to move on to the Source, stay on earth and slowly evolve into more of what we were (good people become angels and bad people become demons), or a chosen few can work to keep the Balance between them. The title character Raven is such a warrior who works to maintain that balance.Malign, the demon responsible for most of the world’s cataclysmic wars, has come to the United States with an army of vampires or, more specifically, demons she has convinced to act as those fabled creatures of the night to sow discord and social unrest. Raven and the other Balance soldiers must track Malign down and in their spare time try to convince the ancient angel Metatron that he is doing more harm than good with his participation in mortal affairs. Tagging along for the ride are a motorcycle gang of millionaire philanthropists, Raven’s fellow Balance warrior Zeus’ younger angelic brother, and the demon Lucifer with his babysitter Gabriel.The novel is written in two styles. Each chapter begins in a soliloquy from the title character Raven, where she tells pieces of her back-story intertwined with philosophical musings on her family life and dealing with loss, with the following bulk of the chapter told in a third person narrative.

    On a long walk across London, he endures a coffee shop humiliation involving a loyalty card which suggests itself as a framing device. Later that month, thanks to Jeremy Clarkson's casual slur against Gordon Brown and the appearance of a well-meaning young comedian in an advert, a show is born. Featuring a transcript of the show fully annotated with footnotes, the If You Prefer A Milder Comedian EP confirms Stewart Lee as the most original, daring and brilliant comedian of his generation.

    But with mischievous and irrepressible Soot, the cockney ghost of a chimney sweep, alongside her, Stella is determined to fight back ... and sometimes a special friend, however different, is all you need to win through.

    It’s hard to be the Lizard King when you can’t even change a light bulb.Drawn from Hugh Murphy’s wildly popular Tumblr feed of the same name, T-Rex Trying depicts the stubby-armed tyrant in a range of hilarious—yet pathos-inducing—activities that we humans take for granted. Murphy’s 100 drawings include: T-Rex Trying to Paint His House T-Rex Trying to Use a Drive-Through ATM T-Rex Trying to Apply Sunscreen T-Rex Trying to Break Into a Vending Machine T-Rex Trying to Ask for a New Roll of Toilet Paper from the Next Stall Looks like the ancient beast isn’t so tough after all.

    Although, come to think of it, I am from New Jersey, which may serve as explanation enough. We were teenagers then, way back in a time before anyone could even dream he’d turn into the Hollywood commodity that he is today.In case you live under a rock and don't know who Trip Wiley is, just know that these days, he’s the actor found at the top of every casting director’s wish list. He’s incredibly talented and insanely gorgeous, the combination of which has made him very rich, very famous and very desirable.And not just to casting directors, either.I can’t confirm any of the gossip from his early years out in Tinseltown, but based on what I knew of his life before he was famous, I can tell you that the idea of Girls-Throwing-Themselves-At-Trip is not a new concept.I should know. I was one of them.And my life hasn’t been the same since.**Remember When is the first book in an NA romantic comedy trilogy, but there is NO CLIFFHANGER. It is intended for mature teen readers and immature adult ones due to some high school sex scenes, underage drinking, questionable language and 1980s flashbacks.**

    We are only just discovering the reality of our avian adversaries, with their reptilian brains, their appetites for mayhem and the fact that they fly mostly to spite us. To ignore the information found within this volume may be at the peril of your very life.

    Bernie Little—came to meet before their first big case in Dog On It.As fans know, Chet first met Bernie on that fateful day when he flunked out of K-9 police school. The details of that day though have always remained a little vague (like so much in Chet’s doggy brain). All we know is that Chet had been the best leaper in his K-9 class, but for some reason he failed his final leaping test...and that a cat was involved...and that there was some blood. But whose? The test, the cat, the blood—all pieces of a puzzle that, when solved, will bring down a dangerous gang of thieves—and signal the start of a beautiful friendship.This fateful day has been alluded to in every book in the series, and now fans of Chet and Bernie will finally get to find out what actually happened. For these two beloved characters, it was something like love at first sight—and, for Chet, at first smell, too.

    He's new in town and stuck living with his aunt, uncle, and their evil son Stevie, a bully who doesn't let Jamie's wheelchair stop him from messing with Jamie as much as possible. But Jamie doesn't let his situation get him down. When his Uncle Frankie mentions a contest called The Planet's Funniest Kid Comic, Jamie knows he has to enter. But are the judges only rewarding him out of pity because of his wheelchair, like Stevie suggests? Will Jamie ever share the secret of his troubled past instead of hiding behind his comedy act?Following the bestselling success of the hilarious Middle School, The Worst Years of My Life, James Patterson continues to dish out the funnies in another highly-illustrated, heartfelt middle school story. (Includes more than 175 black-and-white illustrations.)

    Sixty Five Hours to get along. Sixty Five Hours to not kill each other. Sixty Five Hours to fall in love.** First published in 2012. No additional content has been added.

    She has a habit of making offensive jokes and speaking her mind too often. She doesn't have the best track record with first impressions, which is why she gets a surprise when her new neighbour Nicholas takes a shine to her.Nicholas is darkly handsome, funny and magnetic, and Freda feels like her black and white existence is plunged into a rainbow of colour when she's around him. When he walks into a room he lights it up, with his quick wit and charisma. He is a travelling cabaret performer, but Freda doesn't know exactly what that entails until the curtains pull back on his opening night.She is gob-smacked and entirely intrigued to see him take to the stage in drag. Later on, Nicholas asks her if she would like to become his show assistant. Excited by the idea, she jumps at the chance. Soon she finds herself immersed in a world of wigs, make-up and high heels, surrounded by pretty men and the temptation of falling for her incredibly beautiful employer.In this story of passion and sexual discovery, Nicholas and Freda will contend with jealousy, emotional highs and lows, and the kind of love that only comes around once in a lifetime.**Not suitable for younger readers. Contains some strong language and scenes of a sexual nature.**

    Bird doesn't have a care in the world. And Cat wants to eat Bird and Squirrel. Of course, he'll have to catch them first, and that's not going to be easy.Join this trio as they head south for the winter in a hilarious road trip. But watch out! Cat is waiting around every bend, and he's one pesky feline.

    When Bishop Lance Howell marries outside the congregation, the mothers of the church don't take kindly to his new wife, the flashy and uncontrollable Lady Arykah, and put a plan in motion to show Arykah how much she isn't liked or wanted, igniting an all-

    Zebra wants to put on a show as simple as A-B-C, but Zebra's friend Moose has other (unexpected and hilarious) ideas. Full color.

    Hot on the heels of bestselling Gangsta Granny comes another hilarious, action-packed and touching novel - the story of a little girl called Zoe. Things are not looking good for Zoe. Her stepmother Sheila is so lazy she gets Zoe to pick her nose for her. The school bully Tina Trotts makes her life a misery - mainly by flobbing on her head. And now the evil Burt from Burt's Burgers is after her pet rat! And guess what he wants to do with it? The clue is in the title...From the author that is being called 'a new Roald Dahl', Ratburger is not to be missed!

    And it all started back when I worked for the NSA...My best friend Basia dragged me to the beach for her idea of a vacation. All those annoying people, sand in embarrassing places--not exactly R & R for a girl who doesn't like the sun, the ocean or bathing suits. I couldn't wait to get back to work.But things started looking up when I ran into Elvis and Xavier Zimmerman. We discovered we had a lot in common: gaming, anchovies, hacking. After that, the vacation was perfect--until I accidentally broke some poor guy's fingers. Then Broken-Fingered Guy disappeared, and things got really dicey. With the Secret Service and a bunch of thugs suddenly after me, all I wanted was to solve the mystery and enjoy what was left of my vacation--preferably alive.Prequel to No One Lives Twice.26,000 words

    She hates being a princess and constantly tries to flee from her mother and her lectures. Pleasantly, her life is shattered on the eve of her sixteenth birthday when she is kidnapped by dragons.Ahira is selected by a powerful dragon named Azmaveth to be his captive princess, and lives with him—cleaning his pigpen den—as they forge a strange sort of friendship. Living with Azmaveth brings more adventures than Ahira ever saw in her family’s castle. Not only do Azmaveth’s inventive spells seem to backfire on himself and those around him, but he lives in a land where fairytales are completely backwards.There’s Snow White and her seven dwarf uncles who have fallen asleep, Hanzel and Gretal who have locked an old woman out of her cookie cottage, and a miniature unicorn who happens to have some pretty powerful magic.In this upside down land Ahira also meets Kohath, Azmaveth’s egotistical steward who drags her on countless wild goose chases, and Aaron, a cowardly but intelligent wizard.Unfortunately, Ahira isn’t visiting the dragons during a peaceful time. The valkyrie, mystical female warriors bent on dominion over magic, are marching against the dragons, and everything—from dragons to gnomes—are rallying together to fight back. What Ahira doesn’t know is that her emotions and romantic life will have a powerful impact on the looming war.

    DEMONIC DESTINYAurora has the crappiest superpower on the planet. And it’s just unleashed a hit squad from hell. Demons are on the hunt, salivating to carve her carcass into confetti. ´CHARISMATIC KILLERSThe Hex Boys—mysterious, hunky, and notorious for their trails of destruction—have the answers Aurora needs to survive. But their overload of deadly secrets and suspicious motives makes trusting them a potentially fatal move. LETHAL ALLIESThe battle to save her family, herself, and stop demonic domination may cost Aurora everything worth living for, and force her to reveal her own dark secrets. But no worries. She needs the Hex Boys to pull this off, and, chances are, teaming up with these guys will get her killed anyway.

    Celebrated artist Jeffrey Brown's delightful illustrations give classic Star Wars moments a fresh twist, presenting the trials and joys of parenting through the lens of a galaxy far, far away. Life lessons include lightsaber batting practice, using the Force to raid the cookie jar, Take Your Child to Work Day on the Death Star ("Er, he looks just like you, Lord Vader!"), and the special bond shared between any father and son.

    And her Brave Cowboy and his silly, interrupted lullaby are sure to get everybody singing—before they head off into cozy dreamland…

    When fate makes her meet not one, but two mates, Naomi digs her heels in and refuses to give in without a fight. Can this delicate freakn’ flower unbend her prejudices enough to recognize she needs a pair of men who can handle her thorns - and her passion?For a long time now, Mitchell’s been avoiding Francine, his bratty sister’s friend. However, the girl who tortured him in his youth is all grown up, and when he sees her in the arms of another, a need to claim her overrides all his common sense. But he’s waited too long and fate has decided that he’s going to have to share. Can he accept that claiming Francine means living in a menage, or will his jealousy get in the way of happiness?Meeting the woman of his dreams would have worked a lot better if she didn’t already belong to another man. But Chris wasn’t about to let something like ‘until death do us part’ keep him from claiming his woman. He’ll do anything to win his mate, including throwing his attractive cousin at the pesky husband.Warning: Some of the stories in this bundle contain sexual situations involving more than two people (MFM). Reader discretion is advised.

    The Way of the Heart Kindle edition is perfectly portable ~ take it with you for inspiration wherever you go. The profoundly rich 12 lessons of The Way of the Heart are the first of 35 formal lessons given by Jeshua ben Joseph during the years 1995-1997. May the deep spiritual insight, knowledge, and lovingkindness contained in this volume guide and inspire you toward living a life of Unconditional Love.

    This behemoth of a book is overflowing with the incredible stories, surprising facts, weird news, little-known origins, forgotten history, fun wordplay, and everything else that millions of loyal fans have come to expect from world’s best-selling bathroom reading series. As always, it’s divided by length: quickies for the reader on the go, medium-sized articles for those with a few minutes to spare, and extra-long pieces for those truly leg-numbing experiences. Here are just a few of the hundreds of topics loaded into this edition of America’s favorite "on the go” source of fascinating information:Forgotten FirstsDumb Crooks: Stoner EditionBizarre Japanese Video GamesThe Kamikaze Instruction ManualOur Lady of the Little Green MenThe Worst Fire in American HistoryThe World's Worst Business DecisionThe New Years Eve Opossum DropDo Blondes Really Have More Fun?Failed Doomsday PredictionsWhen Toilets Explodeand much much more

    Revel in the sibling rivalry as oldest brother Peter dodges his homework and doesn't stop eating. Paige, the only girl amongst the siblings, continues her shopaholic, boyfriend-seeking antics. And Jason, the youngest, is geekier than ever, buildiing  robots and teaching his pet iguana, Quincy, how to annoy every member of the family. Throw into the mix,  sensible yet TV antenna-cutting mother, Andy, and backyard grilling disaster dad, Roger, and you have the perfect recipe for a family that every kid can relate to.

    Claire, Louisiana—at least on the outside. Beneath the veneer, it’s anything but. That’s the secret of St. Claire.Born and raised in St. Claire, Lindsay Juneau’s life was seemingly full raising a six-year-old daughter and caring for her widowed mother. Of course, things aren’t always what they seem, and the newest resident of St. Claire isn’t buying the ruse.Veterinarian Nicole Allen is looking for something different. She finds it in St. Claire with its hypochondriac rabbits, shotgun-toting shut-ins, and eclectic mix of people. The most alluring, though, is a woman who’s also looking for something different.

    More everything. All new, never before published material from the author of The Internet is a Playground. New emails, new articles, new exclusive content. I'll Go Home Then; It's Warm and Has Chairs is the second book by New York Times Bestselling author David Thorne.

    Perfect for acting out while reading, It's a Tiger offers just the right amount of excitement without being too scary, and a sweet ending with a bit of a twist.

    Bullies harass him, the principal is on his case, and the girl he likes doesn't like him back. On top of all that, Vlad is half vampire, and has to struggle with strange cravings and hiding his enlarged fangs. Then Vlad realizes he has a much bigger problem: He's being hunted by a vampire killer who is closing in... fast!Joss McMillan's perfect life is shattered when he witnesses his sister's murder—at the hands of a vampire. He then learns that his family is part of the Slayer Society, a group whose mission is to rid the world of vampires, and he is their newest recruit. As Joss trains, bent on seeking revenge for his sister, he discovers powers that could make him the youngest, strongest Slayer in history....

    A is for musk ox because musk oxen are annoying and always about as aggravating as absolutely anyone alive.

    - Athena the Brain- Persephone the Phony- Aphrodite the Beauty- Artemis the BraveGet to know the Goddess Girls in this four-book box set that comes with a stylish charm bracelet.The Goddess Girls at Mount Olympus Academy—Athena, Persephone, Aphrodite, and Artemis—give ancient Greek myths present-day personality! This deluxe box set includes the first four volumes of the popular series, along with a coordinating charm bracelet, and is ideal for new and old fans alike.

    When Carter, the one-night-stand from her past that changed her life forever, shows up in her hometown bar without any recollection of her besides her unique chocolate scent, Claire will make it a point that he remembers her this time. With Carter's undisguised shock at suddenly finding out he has a four-year-old son and Claire's panic that her stretch marks and slim to none bedroom experience will send the man of her dreams heading for the hills, the pair will do whatever they can to get their happily ever after.Warning: contains explicit sex, profanity and enough sarcasm to choke a horse.

    . . take a bath. But she absolutely, positively doesn’t want to! Young readers will be cracking up at the antics that ensue, and at the lively line art of frantic, bad Bad Kitty as she desperately, at times crazily, tries NOT to take a bath.  In Happy Birthday, Bad Kitty, Bad Kitty is back again and badder than ever. But it’s party time now, and a new cast of kitties is coming over to celebrate in her second illustrated novel for young readers.  And lastly, in Bad Kitty vs Uncle Murray, Bad Kitty’s antics continue as she prepares for a battle royale when Uncle Murray steps into the role of petsitter. But wait, there’s more! Included in the boxed set is a full size poster featuring the cover of Bad Kitty for President. So put your paws up and vote!

    Join in the fun as Lily and Emmy share a whimsical day, filled with giggles and laughs, endless creativity, and tons of imagination.

    Swing left. 2. Swing right.3. Dodge.4. Tackle.5. Laugh as he lies there, nearly unconscious.6. Make some form of comment: "God, even your mum lasted longer than you last night."7. Walk off, leaving the victim in question groaning in pain.Jacob Moore street fights every day. He has a routine: he fights, he laughs, he walks away. He doesn't do friends, and he's known around school as their 'bad boy'. Kara...well Kara doesn't have a title, but she does manage to humiliate herself daily, using her natural talent of word vomit and verbal diarrhoea. So when the two run into each other (quite literally) it creates something interesting, dangerous, and something, that's just a little bit like love.

    Sway Reins, a track owner’s only daughter, and Jameson Riley, a gritty NASCAR rookie driver, have been best friends since they were kids. Over the years, Sway becomes his safety shield during his rapid rise to the elite levels of auto racing. A night of celebrating a victory leaves Sway believing that she can convince Jameson to fall in love with her. She becomes determined to be more than just a pit lizard trolling the pits. Little does she know that this steadfast racer has his own idea of revelry. Soon their compression ratios are timed exactly right and all the reciprocating motions have led them to happy hour. As their passion revs, the inner workings of an internal combustion engine have never been so erotic. Just a taste turns into a thirst neither of them saw coming. Can she convince this rookie he can have love and his dream?

    Unlucky in love and unsure about her future, she has a chance meeting with someone who offers to change her life.

    With a crack and a rip, the brothers hatch, and out comes a bird and a ...crocodile! But they can't be brothers - can they?

    Raine Stockton looks back on how she first met Cisco, her incorrigible golden retriever pup, in this Raine Stockton Dog Mystery Christmas short story.

    In Elena's case, Fairy Godmother. Sadly, Tradition says Fairy Godmother's can't take lovers, so Elena mus deal with princes who try to rise above their place. And there's one in particular who's making a proper ass of himself.....ONE GOOD KNIGHT The virgin sacrifice for a fierce maruading dragon, Princess Andromeda intends to break Tradition and defeat the beast on her own - but it doesn't turn out quite that way. Enter Sir George, a most unexpected and unusual Knight...with whom she'll forge a different path for the story to take.FORTUNE'S FOOL A daughter of the Sea King, Katya is spying on a strangely quiet kingdom when a more urgent mission comes up. An evil Jinn is abducting maidens, and when Katya is taken, too, she finds herself in over her head. Now the only things she can count on - besides her native wit and courage - are a Fortunate Fool and an origami bird!

    Prince Frederic. Prince Duncan. Prince Gustav. You’ve never heard of them, have you? These are the princes who saved Sleeping Beauty, Cinderella, Snow White, and Rapunzel, respectively, and yet, thanks to those lousy bards who wrote the tales, you likely know them only as Prince Charming. But all of this is about to change.Rejected by their princesses and cast out of their castles, the princes stumble upon an evil plot that could endanger each of their kingdoms. Now it’s up to them to triumph over their various shortcomings, take on trolls, bandits, dragons, witches, and other assorted terrors, and become the heroes no one ever thought they could be.Christopher Healy’s Hero’s Guide to Saving Your Kingdom is a completely original take on the world of fairy tales, the truth about what happens after “happily ever after.” It’s a must-have for middle grade readers who enjoy their fantasy adventures mixed with the humor of the Diary of a Wimpy Kid books. Witty black-and-white drawings by Todd Harris add to the fun.

    Yeah. It’s weird. When October Jones figured out he could send text messages to himself on his mobile phone, he naturally decided that the best use of this discovery was to send passive-aggressive messages to himself under the guise of his bulldog. And so the exasperating, slightly delusional, and utterly endearing Dog and his alter-ego BatDog were born.Texts from Dog features Dog’s attempts to keep the neighborhood safe from the likes of Mr. Postman and his arch-nemesis Cat-Cat—he has managed to only smash three TVs and a patio door in the process. And in between crime fighting sprees and run-ins with the squirrel mafia, there are romantic interludes with pillows, fetch sessions gone terribly awry, and the abusive banter only a bromance between man and his text-savvy dog can spawn.For those of us who have ever had a conversation with a pet in our heads, Texts from Dog will make you laugh out loud and perhaps even make you think twice about leaving your pet home alone for the day.

    Nothing is going as planned for Austin Glass.Austin—seems to have it all. At least on the surface. A loving fiancee. A future with the FBI and a healthy sized trust fund. He also has a grin and a wisecrack for every situation. But the smile he presents to everyone hides a painful past he’s buried too deeply to remember. And his quips mask bitterness and insecurity. Austin has himself and most of the whole world fooled. Until he meets someone who immediately sees him better than he sees himself.As events unfold and Austin’s world unravels, he finds himself pushed into making quick life-changing decisions. But can he trust Peter or what’s happening between them when each meeting seems to be just a series of volatile reactions?

    And his owner, Harry, has all the best hopes that George will be a well-behaved dog when he leaves him alone for the day. But when George spies a delicious cake sitting on the kitchen table, his resolve starts to waver. You see, George loves cake. . . . Uh-oh. What to do now? It’s so hard to be a good dog when there are cats to chase and flowers to dig up! What ever will Harry say when he gets back? Chris Haughton’s fetchingly funny story and vibrant, retro illustrations are sure to lure dog lovers of all ages — and anyone who has ever met a temptation too good to resist.

    And that’s the good news.

    Peter, Paige, and Jason, along with parents Roger and Andy, comment on the latest Hollywood fads, gaming fixations, and familial fascinations. As the 27th FoxTrot comic collection, Jasontron: 2012 features all full-color Sunday strips published from September 2009 to Spring 2012. Jason continues to craft exploits at Paige’s expense, while Peter suits up for the next big game. Parents Roger and Andy keep up with their children’s antics, as Roger vigilantly monitors his hairline and his burrito intake, along with Andy’s attempts to create Peeps from tofu and saffron. With appearances in the New York Times crossword puzzle and on television’s Jeopardy! and The Sopranos, FoxTrot frequently finds itself an integral part of the popular culture that it so often critiques.

    And why is her usually savvy dog so friendly toward their lean, dark-haired leader? She's determined to escape. Unfortunately, Quinn with his intense, searching gaze is always three steps ahead—and much, much too close….For Quinn Foxworth, control equals safety. Taking Hayley is the only way his undercover witness-protection team can protect her and their client. But convincing her he's one of the good guys is easier than guarding himself from her innocent courage. And with danger closing in, can he risk letting Hayley into his heart for good?

    What begins as a mentorship turns into a unique bond, as the two unlikely friends discover that there is nothing more powerful than pushing your limits and chasing a nearly impossible dream.

    Follow him as he attempts to go to his last day of work. Follow him through the subway as he considers stealing chips from a dancing baby. Find him being threatened by a homeless man holding board games. Take his hand as he considers building a hydraulic cocoon for his cat out of a complimentary duffel bag. Walk the streets of Uptown as a cop-killer takes hostages to the roof of an apartment building. Meet his friends. Just kidding! Follow him to his neighbor’s apartment where he gets paid in pumpkin pie to watch a baby. Follow him through through the dull pains of never quite becoming an adult. Sit back, laugh, smile, hold your breath, because not even he knows how it ends.“Funny as hell, searingly honest, and urgently real, Sam Pink’s Rontel puts to shame most modern fiction. His writing perfectly captures the bizarre parade that is Chicago, with all its gloriously odd and wonderful people. This book possesses both the nerve of Nelson Algren and the existential comedy of Albert Camus.” – Joe Meno

    She finds that not only has the army never included a woman, but it has never included a Sventé vampire; a breed that is regarded by the super strong Pagori breed and the hypnotically beautiful Keja breed to be too tame and human-like. Most refuse to take her seriously, especially a Pagori commander named Jared who she craves in spite of herself.The Grand High Master, however, sees her potential and offers her the position of Jared’s co-commander to help train the newest squad in time for the impending attack on his home. Sam has to demonstrate to Jared and the squad of chauvinists why it is incredibly foolish to underestimate a wilful, temperamental, borderline-homicidal Sventé female. Warning: This novel contains an iron-willed female vampire with an energy whip, a sexist male vampire who is determined to have her, explicit vampy sex, and a romance story with real bite.

    Salvation is at hand. Singing hymns of praise is standard practice-now it's time to set your feet a-tapping with a collection of original dance moves inspired by Jesus and the likes of Moses and John the Baptist. Dances include: the Water Walk, the Temptation Tango, the Judas Hustle, and The Apostolic Conga. Each dance move is outlined with: how to, inspiration, and an illustration. Slyly irreverent but ultimately festive, Dancing with Jesus is illustrated in full color. Best of all, two of the dances are animated for full effect by a lenticular cover and last-spread finale, making this a truly one-of-a-kind novelty item! As the Bible says in Ecclesiastes, there is, "A time to weep, a time to laugh, a time to mourn, a time to dance."

    There is no way Zeke will survive without videogames or his favorite shows. Will he be bored enough to play with his sister? Study? Actually read for fun? Only time will tell.

    And a lot less funny. But this is it.And it will come down at midnight, Irish time, on the 22nd [December 2012]..."Somewhere in the distance, a train rattled on its tracks. Liam sat in his kitchen with the curtains drawn, the lamp on the table casting its searing eye over his handiwork. It was the size of a shoebox, and wooden. Heavy. Inside were things he did not, could not, understand. There were gears and levers and finely balanced cogs and symbols painstakingly etched into it all. He didn’t know what they meant, didn’t know what they were for, but he had seen them in his head for as long as he could remember. Transferring those symbols to metal and wood, after all these years, was... well, it was wonderful. It was a relief. It was like he’d been tense his whole life, every muscle knotted and his teeth gritted and his eyes screwed shut, and now suddenly he was relaxing, and a strange sort of euphoric calm spread through him.

    This ebook compendium includes the entire text for three of Carl Hiaasen's most acclaimed books for young readers: Hoot, Flush, and Scat.

    For one thing, she's never killed anyone. For another, after hitting her head in the car accident that killed her sister, her new best friend is a talking lizard—a picky eater, obsessed with Wheel of Fortune, that only Maggie can hear.Maggie, who can barely take care of herself, is desperate to help her injured and orphaned niece get the best medical care possible, so she reluctantly accepts a mobster's lucrative job offer: major cash to kill his monstrous son-in-law.Paired with Patrick Mulligan, a charming murder mentor (who happens to moonlight as a police detective), Maggie stumbles down her new career path, contending with self-doubt, three meddling aunts, a semi-psychic friend predicting her doom, and a day job she hates. Oh, and let's not forget about Paul Kowalski, the sexy beat cop who could throw her ass in jail if he finds out what she's up to.Training has never been so complicated! And, this time, Maggie has to get the job done. Because if she doesn't . . . she's the mob's next target.

    It continued with a geeky swan and her playboy bear. And then we encountered an ornery croc who couldn't help falling for a foxy lady.The three F.U.C. stories you've come to love are now available in one handy bundle. Hours of romantic and humorous entertainment. Contains previously released stories:• Bunny and the Bear• Swan and the Bear• Croc and the FoxIsn't it time you got F.U.C.'d? lol. Find out what has readers giggling and get your Furry United Coalition bundle today.

    It's time to leave their tiny flat in Tenby for a proper house in London, and a whole new life.Pea likes the red front door, and the attic bedroom all to herself. She even likes her hideous new school uniform, in a masochistic Malory Towers sort of way. But there's an empty chair beside her in every lesson, and no one seems to want to fill it. In the absence of volunteers, Pea is going to have to acquire herself a best friend . . .

    Sam plans to travel the world someday as a journalist, and in the meantime she’s thrilled that her newspaper adviser, Mr. Trigg, has chosen her for a special gig: For the next year, she’ll be the school’s anonymous advice columnist.     Being the voice of “Dear Know-It-All” is exciting, and an important secret to keep—especially when Sam figures out that one of the letters she receives is actually from her best friend. Sam’s mortified to learn her BFF also has a crush on fellow newspaper staffer—and pitcher for the baseball team—Michael Lawrence. Can Sam still give good advice when her own love interest is on the line?

    She is eight-years old and she loves to write. She loves to write lists; like her favorite things and kids in her class. And she's writing her autobiography ("That means it's all about me"). Stella's favorite color is yellow and she LOVES fudge. As a matter of fact, there is a special fudge counter at her family's candy store because fudge is one of her favorite things to eat!But Stella has just one problem----her name. A boy from her class keeps calling her "SMELLA" after she trips on their class nature walk ("I don't even want to say what I landed in, it was too gross, so I'm going to leave out that partIn this early chapter book series, the ups and downs of Stella's life are charmingly chronicled.

    He has a big, mean car that he likes to drive around the big, mean streets. Everyone knows that Mike is big and mean, and that’s just the way he likes it. But one day a tiny, fuzzy bunny shows up in his car. Mike can’t believe it! Before anyone can see, he puts the bunny down on the sidewalk and drives away. When the tiny, fuzzy bunny shows up again — and this time brings a friend — Mike tells them both to get lost. Big mean dogs do not hang out with tiny, fuzzy bunnies! But gosh, those bunnies sure are cute. . . . From best-selling author Michelle Knudsen and illustrator Scott Magoon comes a comical lesson about how keeping up your image is not nearly as fun as being your own quirky self.

    He daydreams about the day when his band records its first monster hit single and he and his bandmates all pile into his van for their cross-country, sold-out concert tour. Between naps, study hall, and band practice, Jeremy still manages to find time to be the star of this hugely popular comic strip.Jeremy is a good kid. He is intelligent and kind, yet he still has the attitude that one would expect from a teenager. His unpredictable mood swings and monosyllabic answers to his parents’ mild-mannered questions often leave them baffled and bemused.Zits was created in 1997 by Pulitzer Prize– and Reuben Award–winning editorial cartoonist Jim Borgman and Reuben Award–winning cartoonist/writer Jerry Scott. The creators, who are parents themselves, have a keen insight into the many physical and emotional changes that teens go through during adolescence, and they have the gift of addressing these common dilemmas with compassion and humor.

    Barbara's vivid and dramatic stories, told with a wicked sense of humor, will make you laugh out loud. She definitely gets what living with rescued dogs (nine of them!) is all about. When Barbara meets her future husband, Ray, it is love-and dog-at first sight. Over the course of thirty-two years, seventeen relocation's and nine dogs, their mutual love of dogs guides them on their unconventional path. The love that Barbara and Ray get in return is literally lifesaving, with one dog attacking a lethal intruder and another discovering Barbara’s cancer. Her own survival story underscores the story of how her dogs become survivors themselves. Each new dog adds its own dynamic to the family, sometimes upending it. From Turbo (whose Spock-like ears may have provided super powers), Barbara learns about the will to live; Lexington demonstrates incredible patience and an inexplicable love of golf; Madison teaches that laughter is truly the best medicine and that the whole “nine lives thing” is not reserved just for cats; Morgan should be sainted for tolerating Izzy, who is as cute as she is bad. Barbara is certain that somewhere in doggie heaven there is a poster that says “If you are sick, injured or in need of really expensive medical care, FIND THESE HUMANS!”

    It's usually more like Don't try this at home. So when the troublemaker pulls a major prank at his middle school, he thinks he's finally gone too far. But thanks to a mix-up by one of the administrators, instead of getting in trouble, Donovan is sent to the Academy of Scholastic Distinction (ASD), a special program for gifted and talented students.It wasn't exactly what Donovan had intended, but there couldn't be a more perfect hideout for someone like him. That is, if he can manage to fool people whose IQs are above genius level. And that becomes harder and harder as the students and teachers of ASD grow to realize that Donovan may not be good at math or science (or just about anything). But after an ongoing experiment with a live human (sister), an unforgettably dramatic middle-school dance, and the most astonishing come-from-behind robot victory ever, Donovan shows that his gifts might be exactly what the ASD students never knew they needed.

    But times have changed. The world has changed. And now the Chocolate Mountains are the home of the largest military artillery range in the world.Harry’s living on disability and getting liquored up and beaten down. Frank’s a feisty old-timer battling cancer and a domineering daughter. And Ricky’s a good kid in a bad spot, doing everything for family. Together they’re staking what little they have left on a dangerous quest to the Big Maria Mine—and the gold that can offer them a new beginning.Unfortunately a meth-dealing biker wants a piece, a trigger-happy AWOL soldier wants to play chicken in a live minefield, two stubborn burros want to go home, a starving mountain lion wants his dinner, and the US Army wants to rain on our heroes’ parade with real bombs.When you’re all out of crazy ideas, you’ve got to try the stupid ones.Imagine Chuck Palahniuk and Don Winslow’s love child – and that would be ribald author Johnny Shaw. His novel Big Maria is a unfiltered, wild romp in which three men get one chance to find a lost gold mine; the only problem is the Big Maria Mine is right in the middle of a US Army artillery range.

    After all, she was named for a woman who died more than fifty years ago and was not the most loveable member of the Harris family. Her friends call her Millie, but when she writes in her diary she refers to herself as Amanda – the name she always wished she had. When Millie’s younger brother finds her diary on her computer, he decides to publish it as a blog for the entire world to see, including the boy Millie has a crush on. In the midst of all the mayhem, Millie/Amanda discovers she is suddenly Springside Elementary’s most sought after sixth-grade mystery gossip and advice columnist. But not all is fun and games, as Millie quickly learns, once she realizes feelings are at stake. Nobody, least of all Millie, expects things to turn out as they do in this tale of friendship and respect.

    His one goal is to live a peaceful life devoid of females. So when his formerly quiet neighbor--a woman so elusive he calls her Bigfoot--begins talking to him, it can only mean one thing: she's on the prowl.Blair has no idea her neighbor is eligible and wary. After being jolted from her self-contained world by the death of a local recluse, she decides to change her life and reach out. First on her list: say hello to the neighbors she has never spoken to. Her only goal is to not die alone, but a freak crossing of paths will change everything.As Sully misreads Blair's every signal, they seem more destined to be enemies than friends. Over time, the two people who seemingly don't need anyone else just might learn they need each other the most.

    Smith suggests that your response depends on knowing the answer to a few other questions, like, “How high is the bridge? How deep is the water below? Is someone on the bridge trying to kill me?!” In this positive and uplifting talk, Hank Smith discusses the life-changing importance of choosing good friends and of being a good friend. Quoting from For the Strength of Youth, Bro. Smith says, “Choose your friends carefully. They will greatly influence how you think and act and even determine the person you become.” Using his trademark humor, colorful stories and examples, and quotes from the prophets and apostles, Bro. Smith illustrates just how true this statement is. He says that a true friend can help you make wise choices and can even save your life. “A real friend will stand between their friend and a horrible choice and at least say something,” emphasizes Bro. Smith. “Your friend might just say ‘forget you,’ but at least they’ll know you said something. Do you love your friends, or do you just love having friends?” Bro. Smith encourages youth to avoid risking their future on bad friends and above all to “become friends with Jesus Christ. He will greatly influence how you think and act. Let Him determine the person you will become.”

     The shock ending to Erica Jewell’s marriage has left a huge hole in her bank balance and a bigger one in her heart. So now this office worker’s goals make a very short list: no surprises, no debt and, definitely, no men. That is, until she finds one bleeding to death in her Melbourne garden one stormy night. Jack Jones is a man whose emotional wounds are more life-threatening than the bullet in his shoulder. When he recruits Erica to his secret team of vigilantes, Erica suspects her safe, predictable world is about to be inverted. And she’s absolutely right.

    It takes you inside ladies' rooms, restaurants, and even their homes. Why did Angelina Jolie offer to help her? Which sitcom star nearly trampled her at the movies? How many celebrities do you have to know to get on The Tonight Show? In this offbeat memoir of her run-ins with famous people, Suzy answers these, and other, ridiculous questions. This is not simply a dishy memoir about stars. Soro knows how to deliver pathos with deadpan, self-deprecating humor. Basically, she’s really funny, and you will relate to every self-conscious, star-struck, or hilarious moment."~ Jess Riley, author of Driving Sideways, All the Lonely People and Closer Than They Appear***********************"Darkly funny, unabashedly honest, and voyeuristic with every word, Celebrity sTalker will be relished by anyone on the other side of the red carpet."~Adam Heath Avitable, comedian and author of Interviews with Dead Celebrities***********************"See how Suzy Soro parlayed her chance meeting with one of America's biggest celebrities into a hilarious and embarrassing anecdote that she clearly has not gotten over yet." ~Caissie St. Onge, former assistant to David Letterman, former writer for Rosie O'Donnell and producer of Bravo's Watch What Happens Live! Author of Jane Jones, Worst. Vampire. Ever.***********************"Her painstakingly funny book CELEBRITY sTALKER, in which she accounts her brushes with fame, is riveting and entertaining."~Comedian Wendy Liebman, Letterman, Leno, Fallon and Carson (Johnny, not Daly.)***********************"To Suzy Soro, Hollywood is one big mixer, and she's determined to work the room whether it likes it or not. Suzy's approach to celebrity is a revelation. Cataloging her catch-and-release encounters with some of the biggest names in Hollywood,Celebrity sTalker gives readers a hilarious and subversive view of life in the real Tinsel Town from a comedian who has lived it both inside...and out."~ Anna Lefler, comedian and author of THE CHICKTIONARY: FROM A-LINE TO Z-SNAP, THE WORDS EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW

    All the children in the third grade except Zeke Meeks are playing with the newest fad, Puppet Pals finger puppets--will Zeke give in to the pressure and join them, even though he would much rather play basketball?

    Join Archie and his friends in the funniest, silliest kid-friendly collection of cartoons, jokes and riddles ever! The laughs don't stop in page after full-color page of groaner puns, crazy comebacks, and silly riddles.  Match wits with "Guess the Gag"--can you figure out the punchline? You won't want to put this book down, unless you're worried about bending the pages while you're rolling on the floor laughing! Value-priced at $6.99 for 192 full-color pages, it's the ultimate casual-reading Archie collection!

    This 180-page full-color book includes the entire first year of strips (the first six storylines) from September 2010 through October 2011! There's commentary! There's cast bios! There's bonus features! It's the most beautiful book I've ever done.

    At the root of every single major political conflict is the annoying coddling Americans must endure of these harebrained liberal hypocrisies. In fact, most of the time liberals uses the mantle of tolerance as a guise for their pathetic intolerance. And what we really need is smart intolerance, or as Gutfeld reminds us, what we used to call common sense.The Joy of Hate tackles this conundrum head on--replacing the idiocy of open-mindness with a shrewd judgmentalism that rejects stupid ideas, notions, and people. With countless examples grabbed from the headlines, Gutfeld provides readers with the enormous tally of what pisses us all off. For example:- The double standard: You can make fun of Christians, but God forbid Muslims. It's okay to call a woman any name imaginable, as long as she's a Republican. And no problem if you're a bigot, as long as you're politically correct about it. - The demonizing of the Tea Party and romanticizing of the Occupy Wall Streeters. - The media who are always offended (see MSNBC lineup)- How critics of Obamacare or illegal immigration are somehow immediately labeled racists. - The endless debate over the Ground Zero Mosque (which Gutfeld planned to open a Muslim gay bar next to). - As well as pretentious music criticism, slow-moving ceiling fans, and snotty restaurant hostesses. Funny and sarcastic to the point of being mean (but in a nice way), The Joy of Hate points out the true jerks in this society and tells them all off.

    When roguish Jack Adams, an adventurer with a secret, rides into town one sleepy afternoon, Katie’s life is changed forever. FIREBLOSSOM (A Matthews/Hampshire Novel)Fox Matthews, a recent survivor of Little Bighorn, is in no mood for love, but when he meets proper Madeleine Avery in rollicking 1876 Deadwood, South Dakota, passion kindles in spite of the obstacles between them. As cultures collide between new settlers and the Lakota people, Fox and Maddie discover the secrets of their own hearts. WILDBLOSSOM (A Matthews/Sandhurst Novel)“An English Duke and a woman from the Wild West – that’s a combination you just can’t beat!” says author Catherine Coulter. Join impetuous Shelby Matthews, daughter of Fox and Maddie, as she manages the family ranch in Cody, Wyoming and promptly loses half of it in a poker game to dashing Geoffrey Weston, an English nobleman who has come to the West in search of adventure. "Cynthia Wright magically entwines passion and history!" ~ Kathe Robin, ROMANTIC TIMES

    But once in a while he would create a special something else on the side, and this adorable little package collects two of his best extras from the 1960s: two Christmas-themed stories written and drawn for national magazines. Created in 1963 (two years before the Charlie Brown Christmas TV special) as a supplement for Good Housekeeping magazine, Charlie Brown s Christmas Stocking comprises 15 original captioned vignettes featuring the entire Peanuts cast of the time Charlie Brown, Snoopy, Lucy, Linus, Schroeder, Frieda, Violet, Shermy, and Sally each with a joke or reflection about the season. The Christmas Story is an original tale created for Woman s Day in 1968, this one focusing just on Snoopy and the Van Pelt siblings, with Lucy and Linus each explaining the meaning of the holiday to Snoopy. I m going to have to be careful, Snoopy reflects at the end of the story, resting on his doghouse next to his bone-decorated tree; all this theology could ruin my Christmas. The book also includes notes on the provenance of the stories and a pocket-sized biography of Schulz. A perfect gift item for the season!

    Tom and Elenna bravely strive to overcome dangers and seafegaurd their village.

    They may not find love, but they'll definitely find mayhem!

    If he doesn't pay Grace Change fifty dollars, she'll use her evil fingernails to rip his face off. Now if only he could find a project that doesn't make the dog sick or clog up the pipes.

    (CA) Dan Parent & Various Something exciting is happening in Riverdale! Get in on the ground floor with the debut of the all-new quarterly Archie Comic Super Special Magazine! It's Christmas the Archie way with a brand new foil enhanced cover that'll get you in the spirit! The Archie Comic Super Special Magazine features the greatest Christmas stories from the Archie vault, plus an extraordinary story never before seen in print, 'Betty and Veronica Save Christmas (or Not!).' All this plus creator spotlights, the latest Archie news and much, much more in this jam-packed magazine! Cover price $9.99.

    except Veronika making eggnog in the kitchen."So begins Agent Ward, The Man From U.N.D.E.A.D.'s strangest case yet.Coming to the aid of an old ... well someone he used to know anyway ... Ward finds himself facing the demons of Christmas Past, Present and Future in a fight to save his life and those of the people he loves.These are Christmas spirits of another kind.The Man From U.N.D.E.A.D.'s Christmas Carol is a festive short story featuring many characters from the Man From U.N.D.E.A.D. novel series.

    The first 100 comics from the successful webcomic, BustyGirlComics.com, are collected in this volume.

    Monster Pop! is a fun and fresh romcom slice of life webcomic about George Tinsely, your average fun-loving, leaps before she looks cyclops, and her adventures in friendship, love, and growing up.

    Which of them will win the much-coveted gold statue and what price will they be forced to pay as they travel the red carpeted-path to Hollywood glory? Amidst all the press-schmoozing and angsting over which designer gown to wear, these Oscar contenders feud, commiserate, and face a succession of personal crises – scandalous secrets come to light, marriages implode, accidents land two nominees in the hospital while another receives news that could derail her career, all culminating on Tinsel Town’s biggest night when anything can happen, and does.BLAME IT ON THE FAME is the debut novel of author Tracie Banister whose writing is similar in tone (sexy, humorous) to the works of Lauren Weisberger and Candace Bushnell. This is a full-length novel that runs approximately 136,000 words.***AUTHOR’S NOTE*** The characters in BLAME IT ON THE FAME are a naughty bunch who live and work in the notoriously debaucherous film world, so you will find some colorful language and a few spicy love scenes in this book.

    We have History as our guide. In tough times, the British do what we have always done. We muddle through.This House is a timely and relevant political comedy, exploring Westminster and the 1974 hung parliament.In the run-up to the General Election pressure mounts as squabbling whips attempt to attract key regional votes. As it becomes clear the results will be closely balanced, the play tracks the formation, perils and consequences of a coalition government, including the compromises, conflicts and power games all in the interest of gaining control of Parliament.With well-paced, witty and waspish dialogue, This House playfully explores the childish digs and chauvinistic attitudes that riddle political life. Award-winning playwright James Graham combines comedy with comment in this portrayal of the strain between the thinking individual, the pressure to toe the part line and the end goal of winning government.

    Whatever happens, the last person standing will have bragging rights, but they also may have lifetime scars to go along with it.For three months, living in one bedroom, using one bathroom, dining at the same kitchen table, sharing one TV and having no access to family or cell phones, this may be a serious problem for the most controversial characters you’ve grown to love or possibly hate.Roc Dawson from Full Figured, Chase Jenkins from Don’t Even Go There, Sylvia McMillan from SLICK, Jada Mahoney from How Can I Be Down?, Jamal “Prince” Perkins from Street Soldier and Jaylin Rogers from the Naughty Series will attempt to put their overwhelming differences aside and calm their unique personalities. Without supervision, though, anything inside of this house is bound to happen, and nothing or no one is off limits. Drama will be the main course, and it will be served by cutthroat individuals determined to have it all. Topped with a hint of raunchiness and manipulation, some may not be able to resist temptation. But survival by any means necessary will remain the primary motive. Who will be the last woman/man standing or who will walk out, slamming the door behind them screaming…damn!

    All she has ever wanted to do is ride Plunger, the scariest roller coaster around. And today she is finally TALL enough. 1.4 meters to be exact. But just as Violet is about to climb into one of Plunger's carriages, something totally crazy happens. Violet shrinks! She is suddenly as small as a fish finger. Although Violet doesn't stay little for long, her chances of ever riding Plunger are ruined. She never wants to shrink again... But then Granny is accused of stealing, and tiny Violet might just be the only one who can catch the thief.

    Thanks to paper-thin walls and the guy's athletic prowess, she can hear not just his bed banging against the wall but the ecstatic response of what seems (as loud night after loud night goes by) like an endless parade of women. And since Caroline is currently on a self-imposed dating hiatus, and her neighbor is clearly lethally attractive to women, she finds her fantasies keep her awake even longer than the noise. So when the wallbanging threatens to literally bounce her out of bed, Caroline, clad in sexual frustration and a pink baby-doll nightie, confronts Simon Parker, her heard-but-never-seen neighbor. The tension between them is as thick as the walls are thin, and the results just as mixed. Suddenly, Caroline is finding she may have discovered a whole new definition of neighborly...In a delicious mix of silly and steamy, Alice Clayton dishes out a hot and hilarious tale of exasperation at first sight...

    Cooper gets kicked in the nuts so hard that he shits himself at one point. That's worth a dollar all by itself.

    It's a love/hate relationship. Enter the inner psyche of these creatures as they try to peacefully coexist within the same house. Cleverly written. Hilarious antics. This cat and dog writing team makes you really stop and wonder what happens at your house when you're not there." -Amazon Reviewer (5 Stars)~"I LOVE the book. I didn't want to put it down, so I finished it in 2 days!" - Rachael S. ~"I loved the book. I thought it was cool how the animals sent each other notes even though they were on the same floor. I love when the narrators speak too because whenever they speak, their part has a title. It's a full, fun, telling book and I enjoyed it. I hope you enjoy it too!" - Carly K.Purchase this book for fun-filled laughs!Katrina von Cat the Master of Wisdom & Knowledge is an eight-year-old grey tabby cat who loves her toy mouse. Stanley is a three-year-old black Labrador/Rottweiler mix who does his best to ignore Katrina. Morty,a bunny, assists in the narration of their story. "Is this MY Stanley and Katrina?" - The owners of Stanley and Katrina "I salute you!" - Zorg (Mr. Fluffypants) "Three cheers for the pack of pets."- The Wise Cat Council