Book picks similar to
Blamestorming: Why Conversations Go Wrong and How to Fix Them by Rob Kendall
self-help
non-fiction
first-reads
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How to Be a Person in the World: Ask Polly's Guide Through the Paradoxes of Modern Life
Heather Havrilesky - 2016
Whether she’s responding to cheaters or loners, lovers or haters, the depressed or the down-and-out, Havrilesky writes with equal parts grace, humor, and compassion to remind you that even in your darkest moments you’re not alone.
What My Mother and I Don't Talk About: Fifteen Writers Break the Silence
Michele Filgate - 2019
It took her more than a decade to realize what she was actually trying to write: how this affected her relationship with her mother. When it was finally published, the essay went viral, shared on social media by Anne Lamott, Rebecca Solnit, and many others. The outpouring of responses gave Filgate an idea, and the resulting anthology offers a candid look at our relationships with our mothers. While some of the writers in this book are estranged from their mothers, others are extremely close. Leslie Jamison writes about trying to discover who her seemingly perfect mother was before ever becoming a mom. In Cathi Hanauer’s hilarious piece, she finally gets a chance to have a conversation with her mother that isn’t interrupted by her domineering (but lovable) father. André Aciman writes about what it was like to have a deaf mother. Melissa Febos uses mythology as a lens to look at her close-knit relationship with her psychotherapist mother. And Julianna Baggott talks about having a mom who tells her everything. As Filgate writes, “Our mothers are our first homes, and that’s why we’re always trying to return to them.” There’s relief in breaking the silence. Acknowledging what we couldn’t say for so long is one way to heal our relationships with others and, perhaps most important, with ourselves. Contributors include Cathi Hanauer, Melissa Febos, Alexander Chee, Dylan Landis, Bernice L. McFadden, Julianna Baggott, Lynn Steger Strong, Kiese Laymon, Carmen Maria Machado, André Aciman, Sari Botton, Nayomi Munaweera, Brandon Taylor, and Leslie Jamison.
The Dragonfly Effect: Quick, Effective, and Powerful Ways to Use Social Media to Drive Social Change
Jennifer Aaker - 2010
But no book addresses how to harness the incredible power of social media to make a difference. "The Dragonfly Effect" shows you how to tap social media and consumer psychological insights to achieve a single, concrete goal. Named for the only insect that is able to move in any direction when its four wings are working in concert, this bookReveals the four "wings" of the Dragonfly Effect-and how they work together to produce colossal resultsFeatures original case studies of global organizations like the Gap, Starbucks, Kiva, Nike, eBay, Facebook; and start-ups like Groupon and COOKPAD, showing how they achieve social good and customer loyaltyLeverage the power of design thinking and psychological research with practical strategiesReveals how everyday people achieve unprecedented results-whether finding an almost impossible bone marrow match for a friend, raising millions for cancer research, or electing the current president of the United States"The Dragonfly Effect" shows that you don't need money or power to inspire seismic change.
Collaborating with the Enemy: How to Work with People You Don't Agree with or Like or Trust
Adam Kahane - 2017
To do this we need to work with others. But these others include people we don't agree with or like or trust, so working with them seems impossible--like collaborating with the enemy. What can we do? International consultant Adam Kahane, whose work has been praised by Nobel Peace Prize winners Nelson Mandela and Juan Manuel Santos, has faced this challenge many times in working both on big issues, like economic restructuring, climate change, and civil war, and on ordinary issues within organizations and families. He has come to understand that everything we think we know about collaboration--that it requires a harmonious team that agrees on where it's going and how it's going to get there--is wrong. On the contrary, the only way to get things done with diverse others is to abandon harmony, agreement, and control and to learn to work with discord, experimentation, and genuine cocreation. Kahane proposes a new approach to collaboration--stretch collaboration--that is built on this insight. He offers examples of how he's helped people apply it in all kinds of tough situations throughout the world. This approach requires stepping forward with openness and commitment, as in the words of poet Antonio Machado, "Walker, there is no path. The path is made by walking." As our societies have become more polarized and globalized and our organizations have become less hierarchical, more of us need to collaborate across more heterogeneous groups than ever before. This means that increasingly often we face situations where conventional collaboration does not work. Kahane's book offers a proven and practical approach to getting things done in such complex and conflictual contexts. It could not be more timely.
It's Not Just Who You Know: Transform Your Life (and Your Organization) by Turning Colleagues and Contacts into Lasting, Genuine Relationships
Tommy Spaulding - 2010
Success—in business and in life—is all about relationships. In this powerful guide to reaching out to others, Spaulding takes Dale Carnegie’s classic philosophy to the next level—how to create lasting relationships that go well beyond mere superficial contacts and “second floor” relationships. Tommy Spaulding learned at a very young age that he was not destined to be an academic star. He may have gotten a 4.0, but only if he added his high school and college GPAs together. The reason he found academics so challenging, he discovered later, is that Tommy is dyslexic. But his dyslexia didn’t hold him back—in fact, it helped him to develop the talents he did have. For Tommy is a natural leader; he realized early on that he had a unique ability to connect with others, whatever their age or background. As a teenager, he was given a copy of How to Win Friends and Influence People by his father, and it quickly became his bible. He became a national finalist for the DECA Entrepreneurial Business competition in high school, and ran successfully for senior class president. He went on to become the CEO of Up With People, one of the largest nonprofit international leadership organizations in the world. At every step, Tommy learned that the secret to getting ahead was reaching out for the support and insight and influence of others. None of us achieve great success alone. We need the help of other people. In this candid, revealing book, Tommy expands upon the principles that Dale Carnegie outlined 75 years ago, and shows us how to take them one step further to accomplish the impossible in our lives and careers. To invite others to be genuine partners in our lives and success, Tommy explains, you have to first be interested in other people. It’s not just who you know, or what they can do for you, but what you can do for them. Motives matter. Establishing a deeper connection is about authenticity, not manipulation. Reciprocity, not selfishness. Every relationship is a two-way street; we never know when a chance encounter can change the direction of our life. In the bestselling tradition of Dale Carnegie’s classic, It’s Not Just Who You Know shows how each and every one of us can use the power of netgiving—of helping others—to expand our world and achieve our goals, and make a difference in our job, our career, and our community.
A First-Rate Madness: Uncovering the Links Between Leadership and Mental Illness
S. Nassir Ghaemi - 2011
By combining analysis of the historical evidence with the latest psychiatric research, Ghaemi demonstrates how he thinks these qualities have produced brilliant leadership under the toughest circumstances.individuals and society at large-however high the price for those who endure these illnesses.
Flourish: A Visionary New Understanding of Happiness and Well-Being
Martin E.P. Seligman - 2011
Traditionally, the goal of psychology has been to relieve human suffering, but the goal of the Positive Psychology movement, which Dr. Seligman has led for fifteen years, is different—it’s about actually raising the bar for the human condition. Flourish builds on Dr. Seligman’s game-changing work on optimism, motivation, and character to show how to get the most out of life, unveiling an electrifying new theory of what makes a good life—for individuals, for communities, and for nations. In a fascinating evolution of thought and practice, Flourish refines what Positive Psychology is all about. While certainly a part of well-being, happiness alone doesn’t give life meaning. Seligman now asks, What is it that enables you to cultivate your talents, to build deep, lasting relationships with others, to feel pleasure, and to contribute meaningfully to the world? In a word, what is it that allows you to flourish? “Well-being” takes the stage front and center, and Happiness (or Positive Emotion) becomes one of the five pillars of Positive Psychology, along with Engagement, Relationships, Meaning, and Accomplishment—or PERMA, the permanent building blocks for a life of profound fulfillment. Thought-provoking in its implications for education, economics, therapy, medicine, and public policy—the very fabric of society—Flourish tells inspiring stories of Positive Psychology in action, including how the entire U.S. Army is now trained in emotional resilience; how innovative schools can educate for fulfillment in life and not just for workplace success; and how corporations can improve performance at the same time as they raise employee well-being. With interactive exercises to help readers explore their own attitudes and aims, Flourish is a watershed in the understanding of happiness as well as a tool for getting the most out of life. On the cutting edge of a science that has changed millions of lives, Dr. Seligman now creates the ultimate extension and capstone of his bestselling classics, Authentic Happiness and Learned Optimism.
The Hidden Brain: How Our Unconscious Minds Elect Presidents, Control Markets, Wage Wars, and Save Our Lives
Shankar Vedantam - 2009
But what if our actions are driven not by our conscious values and beliefs but by hidden motivations we’re not even aware of?The “hidden brain” is Shankar Vedantam’s shorthand for a host of brain functions, emotional responses, and cognitive processes that happen outside our conscious awareness but have a decisive effect on how we behave. The hidden brain has its finger on the scale when we make all our most complex and important decisions: It decides whom we fall in love with, whether we should convict someone of murder, and which way to run when someone yells “Fire!” It explains why we can become riveted by the story of a single puppy adrift on the ocean but are quickly bored by a story of genocide. The hidden brain can also be deliberately manipulated to convince people to vote against their own interests, or even become suicide terrorists. But the most disturbing thing is that it does all this without our knowing.Shankar Vedantam, author of The Washington Post’s popular “Department of Human Behavior” column, takes us on a tour of this phenomenon and explores its consequences. Using original reporting that combines the latest scientific research with compulsively readable narratives that take readers from the American campaign trail to terrorist indoctrination camps, from the World Trade Center on 9/11 to, yes, a puppy adrift on the Pacific Ocean, Vedantam illuminates the dark recesses of our minds while making an original argument about how we can compensate for our blind spots and what happens when we don’t.
The Nordic Theory of Everything: In Search of a Better Life
Anu Partanen - 2016
She found that navigating the basics of everyday life—from buying a cell phone and filing taxes to education and childcare—was much more complicated and stressful than anything she encountered in her homeland. At first, she attributed her crippling anxiety to the difficulty of adapting to a freewheeling new culture. But as she got to know Americans better, she discovered they shared her deep apprehension. To understand why life is so different in the U.S. and Finland, Partanen began to look closely at both.In The Nordic Theory of Everything, Partanen compares and contrasts life in the United States with life in the Nordic region, focusing on four key relationships—parents and children, men and women, employees and employers, and government and citizens. She debunks criticism that Nordic countries are socialist “nanny states,” revealing instead that it is we Americans who are far more enmeshed in unhealthy dependencies than we realize. As Partanen explains step by step, the Nordic approach allows citizens to enjoy more individual freedom and independence than we do.Partanen wants to open Americans’ eyes to how much better things can be—to show her beloved new country what it can learn from her homeland to reinvigorate and fulfill the promise of the American dream—to provide the opportunity to live a healthy, safe, economically secure, upwardly mobile life for everyone. Offering insights, advice, and solutions, The Nordic Theory of Everything makes a convincing argument that we can rebuild our society, rekindle our optimism, and restore true freedom to our relationships and lives.
The Entitlement Cure: Finding Success in a Culture of Entitlement
John Townsend - 2015
Its effects are devastating, contributing to relational problems, work ethic issues, and emotional struggles.It comes down to this: People are not getting to where they want to go, because they don’t know how to do life the Hard Way. Their entitlement keeps them from tackling challenges and finding success.This audiobook provides principles and tools for change. It teaches people the skills of learning to tackle and resolve matters that are difficult, rather than avoiding them, giving up too quickly, or hoping someone else will do it for them. The habits gleaned from this audiobook will lead to success in the listener's relationships, finances, self-care, and work. When the listener faces what must be faced, he stands to meet his goals and resolve his struggles better and faster. In that sense, this audiobook brings a great deal of hope and positivity to a tough arena of life.The Hard Way is simple: it is facing any challenge required to accomplish what matters most. Anything worth doing will have a cost of being hard to do. But when we learn how to do the right things, and push through the pain that comes, we stand a much better chance of success.Sometimes trials are put upon us, such as a troubled marriage, a failing business, or an illness. At other times they are opportunities where we need to take a risk, such as starting a part-time business, or simply being vulnerable with someone. At still other times they are problems that must be faced, such as a troubled teen, a conversation we have been avoiding, or a team at work that needs to be restructured. Whatever the context, the Hard Way is the first and best way to approach a good outcome.
Making Habits, Breaking Habits: Why We Do Things, Why We Don't, and How to Make Any Change Stick
Jeremy Dean - 2012
How long should it take before you stop having to force it and start doing it automatically?The surprising answers are found in Making Habits, Breaking Habits, a psychologist's popular examination of one of the most powerful and under-appreciated processes in the mind. Although people like to think that they are in control, much of human behavior occurs without any decision-making or conscious thought.Drawing on hundreds of fascinating studies, psychologist Jeremy Dean busts the myths to finally explain why seemingly easy habits, like eating an apple a day, can be surprisingly difficult to form, and how to take charge of your brain's natural “autopilot” to make any change stick.Witty and intriguing, Making Habits, Breaking Habits shows how behavior is more than just a product of what you think. It is possible to bend your habits to your will—and be happier, more creative, and more productive.
Conflict is Not Abuse: Overstating Harm, Community Responsibility, and the Duty of Repair
Sarah Schulman - 2016
Illuminating the difference between Conflict and Abuse, Schulman directly addresses our contemporary culture of scapegoating. This deep, brave, and bold work reveals how punishment replaces personal and collective self-criticism, and shows why difference is so often used to justify cruelty and shunning. Rooting the problem of escalation in negative group relationships, Schulman illuminates the ways cliques, communities, families, and religious, racial, and national groups bond through the refusal to change their self-concept. She illustrates how Supremacy behavior and Traumatized behavior resemble each other, through a shared inability to tolerate difference.This important and sure to be controversial book illuminates such contemporary and historical issues of personal, racial, and geo-political difference as tools of escalation towards injustice, exclusion, and punishment, whether the objects of dehumanization are other individuals in our families or communities, people with HIV, African Americans, or Palestinians. Conflict Is Not Abuse is a searing rejection of the cultural phenomenon of blame, cruelty, and scapegoating, and how those in positions of power exacerbate and manipulate fear of the "other" to achieve their goals.Sarah Schulman is a novelist, nonfiction writer, playwright, screenwriter, journalist and AIDS historian, and the author of eighteen books. A Guggenheim and Fulbright Fellow, Sarah is a Distinguished Professor of the Humanities at the City University of New York, College of Staten Island. Her novels published by Arsenal include Rat Bohemia, Empathy, After Delores, and The Mere Future. She lives in New York.
The Gift of Failure: How the Best Parents Learn to Let Go So Their Children Can Succeed
Jessica Lahey - 2014
As teacher and writer Jessica Lahey explains, even though these parents see themselves as being highly responsive to their children’s well-being, they aren’t giving them the chance to experience failure—or the opportunity to learn to solve their own problems.Overparenting has the potential to ruin a child’s confidence and undermine their education, Lahey reminds us. Teachers don’t just teach reading, writing, and arithmetic. They teach responsibility, organization, manners, restraint, and foresight—important life skills children carry with them long after they leave the classroom. Providing a path toward solutions, Lahey lays out a blueprint with targeted advice for handling homework, report cards, social dynamics, and sports. Most importantly, she sets forth a plan to help parents learn to step back and embrace their children’s failures. Hard-hitting yet warm and wise, The Gift of Failure is essential reading for parents, educators, and psychologists nationwide who want to help their children succeed.
Tribes: We Need You to Lead Us
Seth Godin - 2008
For millions of years, humans have been seeking out tribes, be they religious, ethnic, economic, political, or even musical (think of the Deadheads). It's our nature.Now the Internet has eliminated the barriers of geography, cost, and time. All those blogs and social networking sites are helping existing tribes get bigger. But more important, they're enabling countless new tribes to be born—groups of ten or ten thousand or ten million who care about their iPhones, or a political campaign, or a new way to fight global warming. And so the key question: Who is going to lead us?The Web can do amazing things, but it can't provide leadership. That still has to come from individuals—people just like you who have passion about something. The explosion in tribes means that anyone who wants to make a difference now has the tools at her fingertips.If you think leadership is for other people, think again—leaders come in surprising packages. Consider Joel Spolsky and his international tribe of scary-smart software engineers. Or Gary Vaynerhuck, a wine expert with a devoted following of enthusiasts. Chris Sharma leads a tribe of rock climbers up impossible cliff faces, while Mich Mathews, a VP at Microsoft, runs her internal tribe of marketers from her cube in Seattle. All they have in common is the desire to change things, the ability to connect a tribe, and the willingness to lead.If you ignore this opportunity, you risk turning into a "sheepwalker"—someone who fights to protect the status quo at all costs, never asking if obedience is doing you (or your organization) any good. Sheepwalkers don't do very well these days.Tribes will make you think (really think) about the opportunities in leading your fellow employees, customers, investors, believers, hobbyists, or readers. . . . It's not easy, but it's easier than you think.
The Inside-Out Revolution: The Only Thing You Need to Know to Change Your Life Forever
Michael Neill - 2013
This revolutionary approach is built around three simple principles that explain where our feelings come from and how our experience of life can transform for the better in a matter of moments. Understanding these principles allows you to tap into the deeper intelligence behind life, access your natural wisdom and guidance, and unleash your limitless creative power. You'll be able to live with less stress, greater ease, and a sense of connection to the larger unfolding of life. Welcome to the space where miracles happen… Are you ready to begin?