Autocorrect FAILS! Text Messaging Autocorrect Gone Horribly Wrong


THE CLOWN FACTORY - 2013
    This book was brought to you by the one and only - THE CLOWN FACTORY.

Kisses From Nimbus: From SAS to MI6 An Autobiography


P.J. 'Red' Riley - 2017
    His is the story the establishment doesn’t want you to read.br>Captain P. J. “Red” Riley is an ex-SAS soldier who served for eighteen years as an MI6 agent. Riley escaped internment in Chile during the Falklands war during an audacious top-secret attempt to attack the Argentinian mainland. He was imprisoned in the darkness of the Sierra Leonean jungle, and withstood heavy fire in war-torn Beirut and Syria. In 2015, he was arrested for murder but all charges were later dropped. In this searing memoir, Riley reveals the brutal realities of his service, and the truth behind the newspaper headlines featuring some of the most significant events in recent British history. His account provides startling new evidence on the Iraq war, what Tony Blair really knew about Saddam Hussain’s weapons of mass destruction before the allied invasion, and questions the British government’s alleged involvement in the death of Princess Diana. Chaotic, darkly humorous and at times heart-wrenchingly sad, Kisses From Nimbus charts the harrowing real-life experiences of a soldier and spy in the name of Queen and country.

It Shouldn’t Happen to a Manager


Harry Redknapp - 2016
    There’ve been big highs, but a fair share of lows too. When I have to make difficult decisions, I make a point of avoiding newspapers, phone-ins, Twitter – all of it. But there’s always a load of armchair-pundits waiting to start on me. Being a manager has never been easy, but between the fans and the media it often feels impossible to get it right.In It Shouldn’t Happen to a Manager, I talk about how different the job is now from what it was like when I used to play. For one, managers used to drive up and down motorways all day to scout for players – now there’s so much analysis and global scouting. It’s a different thing, completely. In this book, I share everything I’ve learnt from a lifetime of both wins and losses, and wisdom from greats like Cloughie and Ferguson. I’ll tell you about what actually happens in the dressing room, including when Clough smashed the door off its hinges; the bust-ups at full-time, like when I kicked a tray of sandwiches on Don Hutchinson’s head; and the times when I had to swap an arm round a player’s shoulder for a boot up the arse. It’s my guide to being a manager, the Harry way.

Paperboy: An Enchanting True Story of a Belfast Paperboy Coming to Terms with the Troubles


Tony Macaulay - 2011
    The city lies under the dark cloud of the Troubles, and hatred fills the air like smoke. But Tony Macaulay has just turned twelve and he’s got a new job. He’s going to be a paperboy. And come rain or shine – or bombs and mortar – he will deliver…Paperboy lives in Upper Shankill, Belfast, in the heart of the conflict between Loyalists and Republicans. Bombings are on the evening news, rubble lies where buildings once stood, and rumours spread like wildfire about the IRA and the UDA.But Paperboy lives in a world of Doctor Who, Top of the Pops and fish suppers. His battles are fought with all the passion of Ireland’s opposing sides – but against acne, the dentist and the ‘wee hoods’ who rob his paper money. On his rounds he hums songs by the Bay City Rollers, dreams about outer space and dreams even more about the beautiful Sharon Burgess.In this touching, funny and nostalgic memoir, Tony Macaulay recounts his days growing up in Belfast during the Troubles, the harrowing years which saw neighbour fighting neighbour and brother fighting brother. But in the midst of all this turmoil, Paperboy, a scrappy upstart with a wicked sense of humour and sky-high dreams, dutifully goes about his paper round. He is a good paperboy, so he is.Paperboy proves that happiness can be found even in the darkest of times; it is a story that will charm your socks off, make you laugh out loud and brings to life the culture, stories and colourful characters of a very different – but very familiar – time.

Dear Lumpy: Letters to a Disobedient Daughter


Roger Mortimer - 2013
    Your mother bashed her car yesterday and chooses to believe it was not her fault...'Roger Mortimer's witty dressing-downs and affectionate advice were not only directed at his wayward son, Lupin. Though better behaved than her mischievous older brother, Louise (aka 'Lumpy') still caused her father to reach for his typewriter.The trials and tribulations of Louise's days at boarding school, her eventful wedding to Hot¬Hand-Henry and the birth of his grandchildren are all accompanied by a sometimes chiding, but always loving letter.Between these milestones, Roger gives updates on the family, pets and the local gossip, holds forth on the weather, road safety, and even suggests the best way to make a gravy soup, all in his own inimitable style.With the same unique charm and often snort-inducing humour that made Dear Lupin a bestseller, Roger Mortimer guides and supports his daughter through every scrape she found herself in. Hilarious and instantly familiar, Dear Lumpy is a perfect example of the glorious art of letter writing, and the timeless relationship between father and daughter.

What The Pandemic Learned From Me


Anindita Das - 2021
    A journey of self-realization and renewed assessment of our lives, marked by silly anecdotes, mindless distractions, and everyday truths. This book is a humorous retelling of the author’s personal blunders and mind-boggling human behavior in general, strung together by a series of hilarious open letters. It is a modest pursuit to deliver a little relief, and diversion from the pandemic’s grim realities. It’s also an attempt to reaffirm the need for a good laugh to help deal with the doom and gloom that now surrounds our lives. Each letter picks up a relatable theme of our lockdown life – be it our obsession with baking banana bread, growing out our beards, or finding the fanciest holiday homes in Goa. What comes out, is a light and delightful offering that anyone living in this era shouldn’t miss. “A breezy read that goes well with your evening tea (like Marie Gold) or finds a permanent spot on your nightstand. A perfect picker-upper if you're feeling down, it reminded me of Bill Bryson's 'A Short History of Nearly Everything' and Hugh Prather's 'Notes to Myself'.”- Manish Bhatt, Founder/CCO August Communications“Hits a cord with everyone who has left the rat race of ‘acquiring new skills’. It is honest, straightforward, and downright hilarious. I loved the book. I found it clutter-breaking, relatable and non-preachy.” - Shilpi Agarwal, Blogger @bookgasmicSome important information:o The book is part memoir, part random lists and part mean musings.o It celebrates the ability to find humor in unexpected predicaments and life in general.o It’s a collection of letters addressed to the most unlikely of receivers, filled with pithy observations, irreverent and ruthless humor about the little idiosyncrasies of life in lockdown.o Each of these perfectly bite sized letters are wonderful accompaniments to the massive mood swings that is our reality in the times of corona.o Under no circumstance, this book is to be taken seriously, seriously.Savor this quick pick-me-up with a hot cup, a pinch of salt and a great deal of grins."

Bag of Meat on Ball of Dirt (Kindle Single)


Mara Altman - 2016
    That quixotic quest for understanding has drawn much of the world’s population eastward ever since Buddha first assumed the lotus position, and writer Mara Altman needed to know why. So she flew around the world in search of an answer not only to that mystery, but also to the deeper questions that plague all who yearn to define the meaning of life. What Altman found in her wild, comic 18-day reporting trek across India – a journey that took her on a laborious, 37-hour cross-country train trip, onto a mystical flat rock by the ocean in Pondicherry, and eventually into the emergency room of a cut-rate Bangalore hospital – will make you laugh, learn and ponder. By the end of her epic odyssey, it will also take you unexpectedly and thrillingly close to the pulsing heart of human existence. After graduating from Columbia University’s Graduate School of Journalism, Mara Altman worked as a staff writer for The Village Voice. In 2009, HarperCollins published Altman's first book, Thanks For Coming: A Young Woman's Quest for an Orgasm, which was optioned as a comedy series by HBO. She has published seven bestselling Kindle Singles, including the #1 bestseller Bearded Lady, and has also written for New York Magazine and The New York Times. Cover design by Adil Dara

Confessions of a Call Centre Worker


Izabelle Winter - 2017
    Could you keep your cool while talking to all levels of stupid? Would you be able to wear a headset all day without wanting to throw it out of the window? All calls are recorded, analysed and timed to the second. Average handling time (AHT) is discussed as if it's the very meaning of life and managers are always coming up with new ways to shave milliseconds from each call. Is it acceptable to only have a total eight minutes a day for visits to the toilet or coffee machine? Imagine not being allowed to hang up on someone who is screaming abuse down the line at you. Welcome to the Call Centre! Izabelle worked in call centres for many years; from insurance to home shopping, from selling advertising to discussing loans. Finally in the early hours one morning, she decided enough was in fact far too much and left her final call centre job the same day, never to return. On her way out of the door for the final time she vowed she would write a book about life in a call centre. Here is that book. Read about call centres in general, memorable customers and staff. How do staff stay sane? What is Big Red? Are cranberries the true meaning of Christmas? Why would you have leather trousers round your ankles in a lift? How not to impress your boss. Izabelle shares these and many other true tales from her years of incarceration in UK call centres.

Very British Problems: The Most Awkward One Yet


Rob Temple - 2019
    

Ah Well, Nobody's Perfect: The untold stories


Ian Molly Meldrum - 2016
    Molly gives us his unforgettable encounters with The Beatles, Elton John, David Bowie, The Rolling Stones, Madonna, John Farnham, Bruce Springsteen, the Bee Gees, Rod Stewart, Russell Crowe, Oasis, Beyonce and Prince. As well as the tales that surround his other loves: the Australian cricket team, the St Kilda footy club and the Melbourne Storm."I have a lot of love for the great Ian 'Molly' Meldrum" - Shane WarneNo one has lived a life like Ian 'Molly' Meldrum. And no one can tell a story like Molly.

Old Maine Woman: Stories from the Coast to the County


Glenna Johnson Smith - 2010
    The book also includes some of her best fiction pieces.

Uncle Dysfunctional


A.A. Gill - 2017
    In this raffish, hilarious, scathing yet often surprisingly humane collection, Gill applies his unmatched wit to the largest and smallest issues of our time. Whether you're struggling to satisfy your other half, having a crisis over your baldness, don't like your daughter's boyfriend, or need the definitive rules on shorts, leather jackets and man-bags, AA Gill has all the answers - but you'd better brace yourself first.

King's X: The Oral History


Greg Prato - 2019
    But their story is one of many ups and downs, trials and tribulations, and periods of good and bad luck. This authorized biography examines and explores all aspects of their history, both personally and professionally. Comprised of extensive interviews conducted by author and longtime King’s X fan Greg Prato, King’s X: The Oral History allows the band’s three members - singer/bassist Doug Pinnick, guitarist Ty Tabor, and drummer Jerry Gaskill - to tell their full story for the first time. It also opens the floor to friends and collaborators, plus some of the many top rock names who are also fans of the band, including Pearl Jam’s Jeff Ament, The Police’s Andy Summers, Smashing Pumpkins’ Billy Corgan, Soundgarden’s Kim Thayil, Pantera’s Rex Brown, Mötley Crüe’s Mick Mars, and many more. In addition, King’s X explores the stories behind every single song the band has recorded over the years, while also detailing the creation of each of their twelve albums and offering insight into the influence of religion on their work. It also features memories of the band’s tours with some of rock’s biggest names - including AC/DC, Pearl Jam, and Mötley Crüe - and the events that led to their show-stopping performance at the mammoth Woodstock ’94 festival. Packed full of rare and never-before-seen photographs from throughout their career, King’s X is the definitive companion to the band and their music.

Whistle in the Wind: Life, death, detriment and dismissal in the NHS. A whistleblower's story


Peter Duffy - 2019
    Charting his career pathway from auxiliary nurse and unskilled operating theatre orderly, he takes us through his progress to senior consultant surgeon and head of department. In 2015, and after blowing the whistle on a series of near misses, he reluctantly reported an avoidable death, cover-up and ongoing surgical risk-taking to the Care Quality Commission. Within months he was out of work and unemployed. Via avoidable deaths and errors, cover-ups, misuse of public funds, bullying, abuse and victimisation the author charts out in searing detail his demotion, punishments and exile from both family and NHS and the subsequent brutal legal process that followed his illegal dismissal. "Peter's love for his family and for what he does as a surgeon runs through the pages of this gripping book as he takes you on a journey to some of the darker areas of our NHS and legal system. As a society we need to face up to the appalling reality of what the NHS does to staff that speak up and how much public money it wastes fighting people that act in the public interest. Even a committed, award winning surgeon who transformed cancer services was not immune from attempts by the NHS to destroy him when he decided to stand up for patients and services. This is everyone's problem." Dr Chris Day, junior doctor and whistle-blower "As a fellow whistleblower in the same NHS Trust I recommend that everybody should read Peter's account. This is an incredibly important and unmissable portrayal of how toxic NHS management culture is harming patients and destroying the careers and lives of dedicated healthcare professionals. His bravery, dedication to his patients and commitment to exposing the truth is commendable. Read his book to learn the truth as to what is happening every day in NHS Trusts across the UK." Sue Allison, Morecambe Bay whistle-blower "Peter’s book has opened our eyes to a series of injustices that has not only destroyed his family life but revealed appalling wrong doings within the NHS. Our father was sadly a victim in a dysfunctional urological surgery department, where Peter was trying to make a difference against the odds. Our sincerest gratitude goes to a person who has tirelessly fought with passion, dignity and sheer determination against an organisation that wish to silence the honesty of a whistle-blower." Karen and Nicola Read, daughters of ‘Patient A’

No Regrets


Coleen Nolan - 2013
    As a member of the Nolan sisters, Coleen Nolan was born into the spotlight and has stayed there ever since. She has now become one of the nation's favourite TV presenters and is used to newspapers and magazines claiming to have the inside story of her private life. In No Regrets Coleen finally reveals the truth of what really happened during the last few rollercoaster years, truly the worst of her life. Whilst it's certainly been a traumatic time for the whole family, Coleen is a survivor. First and foremost, she is a mum and is determined to hold her family together. The Nolans finally put aside their infamous feud to rally round their beloved sister Bernie, who tragically lost her fight with cancer on the 4th of July last year, aged just 52. In this memoir, Coleen movingly describes her struggle to deal with the emotional scars that come from losing someone so close and the effect it has had on her own life. In this incredibly candid memoir, Coleen writes with raw honesty about her family troubles, her career highs and lows, and her struggle with her body image. In recent years, Coleen has found herself in both a plastic surgeon's office looking at a £20,000 bill to 'fix her face' and at a breast cancer clinic asking for the removal of her healthy breasts to avoid becoming the fourth sister in the family to be struck down by cancer. Wonderfully warm and moving, and brilliantly funny and honest, No Regrets will take you from laughter to tears and back again as you share in Coleen's very personal journey.