and Mr. Doris Haggis-On-Whey. A world-renowned and much feared expert on everything, Dr. Doris Haggis-On-Whey has seventeen degrees from eighteen institutions of higher learning. With her husband, Benny, she has traveled the world many times over, has learned about all aspects of life, including outer space and food, first hand.When is the last time you actually sat down and had a conversation with a giraffe? That's what I thought. You are hopelessly clueless on giraffe culture, their likes/dislikes and voting patterns -- most giraffes are probably libertarian. "GIRAFFES? GIRAFFES " is the authoritative text on the biology, history and overall nature of giraffes.You are so behind on giraffes that it's rather embarrassing and you obviously need this book more than health insurance. Things you probably don't know about giraffes -- and can only be found in this book -- include giraffes' preferred mode of transportation (conveyor belt), what their bodies are made of (paper mache, a clock, fruit juices and a super-strong lightweight titanium alloy), where most giraffes live (Terra Haute, Indiana -- known for many things, including buildings made of wood and ground made of dirt), and basic giraffe history (in 50,000 B.C giraffes began to hang out with primitive man, they found him to be likeable and helped him paint buffaloes in caves).Cheat Sheet onGiraffes (good for slumber parties and barroom brawls):- Giraffes invented plastic. "No, not plastic--latex. My bad. Still, though isn't that amazing?"- Frequently Asked Question: "Why do we call giraffes "giraffes?"" Answer: Because when they came to Earth they asked us to.- Rarely Asked Question: "How fast can giraffes run?" The giraffes have tried to phase out running from their lives but if they had to, they could still run much faster than you. Let's say, for the sake of argument, that they can run 780 mph.With the wit and irreverent sense of humor for which Dave Eggers and McSweeney's is known, comes the first volume in the revolutionary Haggis-On-Whey World of Unbelievable Brilliance books. More than just entertaining and informative, "GIRAFFES? GIRAFFES " will help you appear smarter, more in touch with your sensitive side and whiten your teeth. And much, much more that will likely sicken you.

    When Making Cocoa for Kingsley Amis was first published, it catapulted its author into the bestseller lists and established her as one of our funniest and most eloquent of poets.'Cope has an extraordinary canny sense - quite rare among poets - of what will engage a reader's attention.' Poetry Review'A jet-age Tennyson.' London Review of Books'Like Larkin and Harrison, Cope has proven that a popular poetry is possible without compromising quality.' Acumen Series

    It also contains portraits of noble dogs throughout history, the mysteries of cats and humans, and everything else your dog ever wanted to know but was afraid to ask–like how to make toys out of human's household items, or how to escape from a humiliating reindeer costume.Generously illustrated with drawings by cartoonist Emily Flake, this hilarious parody is for good dogs, bad dogs, and the millions of people who love them.Rex and Sparky wrote this parody without authorization (because they are dogs and they do what they want.)

    Prior to making the author’s acquaintance, he is a fiercelyindependent, nameless Cat About Town. Growing tired ofhis vagabond lifestyle, however, he concludes that theremight be some appeal in giving up his freedom for a home.Finally, a house materializes that does seem acceptable andso do the voices that inhabit it. It is here that he begins histransformation into a genuine Fur Person. Sarton’s book isone of the most beloved stories ever written about the joysand tribulations inherent in sharing one’s life with a cat. It isnow reissued in a gorgeous edition featuring David Canright’sbeautiful illustrations.

    Cats Galore brings together illustrations from the affectionately envisioned Pre-Raphaelite Cats, Shakespeare Cats, Movie Cats, and Opera Cats—as well as other delightful images of cats cast in scenes from art, theater, and film—into one delightful volume.Divided into three sections—Cats in Art, Cats on Stage, and Cats in the Movies—this is the ultimate compendium for cat-loving culture buffs and cultured pet owners alike. Works by Degas and van Gogh retain their distinctive styles in spite of the furry faces; cats shine in Much Ado About Nothing and The Barber of Seville; and a bushy-tailed James Dean in Rebel Without a Cause stares at the camera with the iconic cigarette in his mouth.

    He's gentler. He's one unusual American with a whole lot to say about the things that vex us all: like Rice Krispies, funeral preaching, news that's unfit to print (or even think about for that matter), uncommon dawg tales, and the unavoidable light at the end of the tunnel.

    Whether impersonating Sigmund Freud in a department store window during the holidays, climbing an icy mountain in cheap loafers, or learning primitive survival skills in the wilds of New Jersey, Rakoff clearly demonstrates how he doesn't belong-nor does he try to.In his debut collection of essays, Rakoff uses his razor-sharp wit and snarky humor to deliver a barrage of damaging blows that, more often than not, land squarely on his own jaw-hilariously satirizing the writer, not the subject. Joining the wry and the heartfelt, Fraud offers an object lesson in not taking life, or ourselves, too seriously.

    Yeah. It’s weird. When October Jones figured out he could send text messages to himself on his mobile phone, he naturally decided that the best use of this discovery was to send passive-aggressive messages to himself under the guise of his bulldog. And so the exasperating, slightly delusional, and utterly endearing Dog and his alter-ego BatDog were born.Texts from Dog features Dog’s attempts to keep the neighborhood safe from the likes of Mr. Postman and his arch-nemesis Cat-Cat—he has managed to only smash three TVs and a patio door in the process. And in between crime fighting sprees and run-ins with the squirrel mafia, there are romantic interludes with pillows, fetch sessions gone terribly awry, and the abusive banter only a bromance between man and his text-savvy dog can spawn.For those of us who have ever had a conversation with a pet in our heads, Texts from Dog will make you laugh out loud and perhaps even make you think twice about leaving your pet home alone for the day.

    But if there's one thing the two sides do agree on, it's that they love Patrick McDonnell's charming strip, Mutts.Mutts has won the devotion of animal lovers and comics readers across the land. Fans love the charming humor the talented McDonnell provides, as well as his one-of-a-kind artistic style that stands apart on the funny pages. Yesh! features Earl the dog, his pal Mooch the cat, and the plethora of other lovable animal regulars who pop in and out of their lives.Few people could conceive what animals are truly thinking until McDonnell gave us the antics and adventures of Earl and Mooch. In one series of strips, Earl reveals what pets think when their owners are late arriving home: ""I must ration my dinner...who knows how long it will need to last?...The day?...The week?...The next two minutes?"" His buddy Mooch declares after becoming stranded on top of a tree: ""I need to reassess my goals.""The delightful personalities of McDonnell's animal stars have won the hearts and acclaim of readers the world over. Veteran cartoonist Charles Schulz called Mutts one of the best strips ever. The strip earned the National Cartoonists Society's Comic Strip of the Year Award in 1996. In 1998, McDonnell captured the Swedish Academy of Comic Art's Award for Best International Comic Strip Artist. Yesh! celebrates the subtle humor and unparalleled style of a strip that hearkens back to the classic strips of yesteryear.

    Full of homespun wisdom, gentle wit and charm, Paws in the Proceedings is the second book of Deric’s gentle tales of life in Huddersfield with his wife Aileen and their menagerie of playful cats with big personalities.

    From paying taxes and getting up for work to dancing with kittens and starting a band, readers everywhere will relate to the ongoing struggle between Heart and Brain.Heart and Brain: An Awkward Yeti Collection illustrates the relationship between the sensible Brain and its emotionally driven counterpart, the Heart.Boasting more than one million pageviews per month, TheAwkwardYeti.com has become a webcomic staple since its creation in 2012.

    Cats love catnip. Whether it's eating it, playing with it, or rolling around in it, catnip turns our domestic feline friends into hilarious balls of activity. Carefree and unconstrained, they are free to be silly, exceptionally playful, and downright gnarly. Professional pet photographer and self-confessed crazy cat man Andrew Marttila (the photographer behind Shop Cats of New York) captures a range of the cats' silly and expressive personalities as they react to their catnip trip. Delightful, elegant Fluffy transforms into a hell-bent renegade. Shy, reserved Mittens becomes a free-loving acrobat. In the blink of an eye, a cat's expression transforms from bored to inquisitive to playful to curious to bizarre . . . to utterly unhinged. A fun and delightful look at our favorite companions, this gift book is perfect for every cat lover.

    From bloopers and blunders to Signs of the Times to Mixed Up Metaphors...from Two-Headed Headlines to Mangling Modifiers, Anguished English is a treasury of assaults upon our common language.

    All of them culty classics and books you have to have read. If you haven't now's your chance to read them all at once. If you have you can read them again and see what you remember. In four illustrated squares we give you the entire story, a sort of distilled novel, so you can read 80 books in a couple of hours. Great for people in a hurry or just anyone who likes books.

    Delightfully illustrated throughout with whimsical cartoons.