Codependency - “Loves Me, Loves Me Not”: Learn How To Cultivate Healthy Relationships, Overcome Relationship Jealousy, Stop Controlling Others and Be Codependent No More


Simeon Lindstrom - 2014
     >>> 16 additional books included - LIMITED TIME OFFER! <<< If you’ve had difficulty with starting or maintaining relationships, issues with feeling jealous and possessive or find that your connections with others are more a source of distress than anything else, this book is for you. It may feel sometimes that an intense and serious connection with someone is proof of the depth of the feeling you have for one another. But be careful, obsession and dependency is not the same as love. In the codependent relationship, our affection and attention is coming from a place of fear and need. As a result, the partners never really connect with each other. They do endless, complicated dances around each others problems, but what they never do is make an honest human connection. In codependent relationships, manipulation, guilt and resentment take the place of healthy, balanced affection. Codependent partners are not necessarily together because they want to be, they are because they have to be, because they don’t know how to live otherwise. One partner may bring a history of abuse, a “personality disorder” or mental illness into a relationship; the ways the other partner responds to this may be healthy or not, but if they bring their own issues to the table too, they may find that the bond of their love is more accurately described as a shared and complementary dysfunction. Remember, the relationships we are in can never be better than the relationships we have with ourselves. Two unhappy people together never make a happy couple together. We cannot treat other people in ways we have never taken the time to consider before, and we cannot communicate properly if we are not even sure what it is we need to communicate in the first place. An individual with a mature, well-developed sense of themselves has the most to offer someone else. They have their own lives, their own sense of self-worth, their own strength. And when you remove need, fear, obsession and desperation, you open up the way for love and affection just for its own sake. Love is many things, but it’s cheapened when held hostage by the ego. Connections formed around ego and fear may be strong and lasting, but what keeps them going is mutual need. What could be more romantic than, “I don’t need to be with you. You don’t complete me at all. I am happy and stable and fulfilled without you. But I still want to be with you, because you’re awesome”? It all boils down to this: communication. Whether it’s through words or not, we are constantly communicating, and the accumulation of these little units creates this big thing we call a relationship.

The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: A Practical Guide from the Country's Foremost Relationship Expert


John M. Gottman - 1999
    Here is the culmination of his life's work: the seven principles that guide couples on the path toward a harmonious and long-lasting relationship. Packed with practical questionnaires and exercises, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work is the definitive guide for anyone who wants their relationship to attain its highest potential.

Men Chase, Women Choose: The Neuroscience of Meeting, Dating, Losing Your Mind, and Finding True Love


Dawn Maslar - 2016
    Music, literature, and movies are filled with common folklore about love and millions of TV viewers tune in to shows like The Bachelor and read the latest relationship tome with one simple hope: to uncover some nugget of mystic wisdom that will help them understand the exciting, addictive, insane experience called 'love'.   Men Chase, Women Choose, is the first book to offer cutting-edge research that explains how the brain works when two people first meet, start to date, fall in love, and then move into long-term, real love. Maslar's unique approach brings together the latest and most relevant neurological, physiological, and biochemical research on the science of love while incorporating stories and examples of composite characters based on participants of her popular classes and seminars. She explains that 'love' is actually neural activity as well as the presence or absence of certain neurotransmitters that bathe the brain, and it follows a precisely timed path of four, easy-to-understand phases: the exciting norepinephrine-charged meeting phase; the addictive dopamine dating phase; the insane falling-in-love and losing your mind phase; and finally, the safe, warm and wonderful, true, long-term love phase. For the past decade Maslar has made it her mission to learn all she can about the science behind falling in love, including its evolutionary benefits. Her goal—and the purpose of this book—is to help men and women find and maintain love by understanding and applying the science behind it. The bottom line? We actually can have long-lasting, nourishing, exciting, passionate love with little or no risk!

Don't Call That Man!: A Survival Guide to Letting Go


Rhonda Findling - 1996
    In this inspirational, revolutionary guide to letting go and moving on after the trauma of a breakup, psychotherapist Rhonda Findling teaches women how to triumph over the almost obsessive urge to pick up the phone. With its prescriptive, easy-to-follow approach, Don't Call That Man! is an indispensable tool for weathering the pain of heartbreak. It features simple exercises that provide an emotional outlet for a difficult process; charts that schedule free time away from the telephone; and much more, including:Moving on from a ruined relationshipWhat is an ambivalent man, and how do you get over him?Mothers, fathers and menBuilding and using a support systemThe 10-Step program to not call that manStep-by-step, from heartache to healing, Don't Call That Man! is a map on how to heal the pain of a lost love; how to overcome feelings of neediness and desperation; and above all, how to regain focus on what's important and it's not calling that man. It's the perfect book to embrace on the way to a new and more gratifying relationship.

The State of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity


Esther Perel - 2017
    And yet, this extremely common human experience is so poorly understood. What are we to make of this time-honored taboo—universally forbidden yet universally practiced? Why do people cheat—even those in happy marriages? Why does an affair hurt so much? When we say infidelity, what exactly do we mean? Do our romantic expectations of marriage set us up for betrayal? Is there such a thing as an affair-proof marriage? Is it possible to love more than one person at once? Can an affair ever help a marriage? Perel weaves real-life case stories with incisive psychological and cultural analysis in this fast-paced and compelling book.For the past ten years, Perel has traveled the globe and worked with hundreds of couples who have grappled with infidelity. Betrayal hurts, she writes, but it can be healed. An affair can even be the doorway to a new marriage—with the same person. With the right approach, couples can grow and learn from these tumultuous experiences, together or apart.Affairs, she argues, have a lot to teach us about modern relationships—what we expect, what we think we want, and what we feel entitled to. They offer a unique window into our personal and cultural attitudes about love, lust, and commitment. Through examining illicit love from multiple angles, Perel invites readers into an honest, enlightened, and entertaining exploration of modern marriage in its many variations.Fiercely intelligent, The State of Affairs provides a daring framework for understanding the intricacies of love and desire. As Perel observes, “Love is messy; infidelity more so. But it is also a window, like no other, into the crevices of the human heart.”

Come as You Are: The Surprising New Science that Will Transform Your Sex Life


Emily Nagoski - 2015
    So where is it? Well, for reasons this book makes crystal clear, that pill will never exist—but as a result of the research that’s gone into it, scientists in the last few years have learned more about how women’s sexuality works than we ever thought possible, and Come as You Are explains it all.The first lesson in this essential, transformative book by Dr. Emily Nagoski is that every woman has her own unique sexuality, like a fingerprint, and that women vary more than men in our anatomy, our sexual response mechanisms, and the way our bodies respond to the sexual world. So we never need to judge ourselves based on others’ experiences. Because women vary, and that’s normal.Second lesson: sex happens in a context. And all the complications of everyday life influence the context surrounding a woman’s arousal, desire, and orgasm. Cutting-edge research across multiple disciplines tells us that the most important factor for women in creating and sustaining a fulfilling sex life, is not what you do in bed or how you do it, but how you feel about it. Which means that stress, mood, trust, and body image are not peripheral factors in a woman’s sexual wellbeing; they are central to it. Once you understand these factors, and how to influence them, you can create for yourself better sex and more profound pleasure than you ever thought possible.And Emily Nagoski can prove it.

Siblings Without Rivalry: How to Help Your Children Live Together So You Can Live Too


Adele Faber - 1987
    Parents themselves, they were determined to figure out how to help their children get along. The result was Siblings Without Rivalry. This wise, groundbreaking book gives parents the practical tools they need to cope with conflict, encourage cooperation, reduce competition, and make it possible for children to experience the joys of their special relationship. With humor and understanding—much gained from raising their own children—Faber and Mazlish explain how and when to intervene in fights, provide suggestions on how to help children channel their hostility into creative outlets, and demonstrate how to treat children unequally and still be fair. Updated to incorporate fresh thoughts after years of conducting workshops for parents and professionals, this edition also includes a new afterword.

Emotional Intelligence 2.0 [With Access Code]


Talentsmart
    Travis Bradberry and Jean Greaves unveil TalentSmart's revolutionary program to help people identify their EQ skills, build these skills into strengths, and enjoy consistent performance in the pursuit of important life objectives.The book contains proven strategies from a decade-long effort to accurately measure and increase emotional intelligence. Trusted by upper-echelon leaders inside companies worldwide, these strategies will enable you to capitalize on the skills responsible for 58% of performance in all types of jobs.

The Meaning of Marriage: Facing the Complexities of Commitment with the Wisdom of God


Timothy J. Keller - 2011
    All those modern-day assumptions are, in a word, wrong.Using the Bible as his guide, coupled with insightful commentary from his wife of thirty-six years, Kathy, Timothy Keller shows that God created marriage to bring us closer to him and to bring us more joy in our lives. It is a glorious relationship that is also the most misunderstood and mysterious. With a clear-eyed understanding of the Bible, and meaningful instruction on how to have a successful marriage, The Meaning of Marriage is essential reading for anyone who wants to know God and love more deeply in this life.

The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands


Laura Schlessinger - 2003
    Laura urgently reminds women that to take proper care of their husbands is to ensure themselves the happiness and satisfaction they yearn for in marriage.Women want to be in love, get married, and live happily ever after. Yet disrespect for men and disregard for the value, feelings, and needs of husbands has fast become the standard for male-female relations in America. Those two attitudes clash in unfortunate ways to create struggle and strife in what could be a beautiful relationship.Countless women call Dr. Laura, unhappy in their marriages and seemingly at a loss to understand the incredible power they have over their men to create the kind of home life they yearn for. Now, in The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands, Dr. Laura shows you—with real-life examples and real-life solutions—how to wield that power to attain all the sexual pleasure, intimacy, love, joy, and peace you want in your life.Dr. Laura's simple principles have changed the lives of millions. Now they can change yours.

The Power of the Other: The startling effect other people have on you, from the boardroom to the bedroom and beyond-and what to do about it


Henry Cloud - 2016
    These are necessary, but not sufficient. Using evidence from from neuroscience and his work with leaders, Dr. Cloud shows that the best performers draw on another vital resource: personal and professional relationships that fuel growth and help them surpass current limits. Popular wisdom suggests that we should not allow others to have power over us, but the reality is that they do, for better or for worse. Consider the boss who diminishes you through cutting remarks versus one who challenges you to get better. Or the colleague who always seeks the limelight versus the one who gives you the confidence to finish a difficult project. Or the spouse who is honest and supportive versus the one who resents your success. No matter how talented, intelligent, or experienced, the greatest leaders share one commonality: the power of the others in their lives. Combining engaging case studies, persuasive findings from cutting-edge brain research, and examples from his consulting practice, Cloud argues that whether you’re a Navy SEAL or a corporate executive, outstanding performance depends on having the right kind of connections to fuel personal growth and minimize toxic associations and their effects. Presenting a dynamic model of the impact these different kinds of connections produce, Cloud shows readers how to get more from themselves by drawing on the strength and expertise of others. You don’t have a choice whether or not others have power in your life, but you can choose what kinds of relationships you want.

The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts


Gary Chapman - 1990
    Staying in love—that’s the challenge! How can you keep your relationship fresh and growing amid the demands, conflicts, and just plain boredom of everyday life? In the #1 New York Times bestseller The 5 Love Languages, you’ll discover the secret that has transformed millions of relationships worldwide. Whether your relationship is flourishing or failing, Dr. Gary Chapman’s proven approach to showing and receiving love will help you experience deeper and richer levels of intimacy with your partner—starting today. The 5 Love Languages is as practical as it is insightful. Updated to reflect the complexities of relationships today, this new edition reveals intrinsic truths and applies relevant, actionable wisdom in ways that work. Includes the Couple's Personal Profile assessment so you can discover your love language and that of your loved one.

Healing from Infidelity: The Divorce Busting Guide to Rebuilding Your Marriage After an Affair


Michele Weiner-Davis - 2017
    Shocked, devastated and overwhelmed, couples often hit stalemates as they struggle to get past intense emotional pain, mistrust, resentment and never-ending arguments about the betrayal. From the bestselling author of DIVORCE BUSTING and THE SEX-STARVED MARRIAGE, renowned therapist, and TEDx speaker, Michele Weiner-Davis, comes a powerful blueprint for helping couples rebuild trust and mend their marriages following the crisis of discovery of an affair through forgiveness and beyond. Based on over three decades of experience helping couples recover from betrayal and save their marriages, Weiner-Davis offers a step-by-step program to help readers: · Deal with traumatic feelings after the discovery · Respond to questions about the affair · Talk about intense emotions without arguing · End the affair · Offer apologies that are sincere and healing · Overcome flashbacks and painful memories · Rebuild trust and accountability · Make their marriage stronger than before the affair · Find forgiveness · Reconnect sexually This book is filled with case vignettes of couples whose lives were shattered by betrayal but have eventually recovered and thrived. With the publication of HEALING FROM INFIDELITY, the practical advice available to her clients will be made accessible to millions more who desperately want to move through the pain of infidelity and restore their love. ADVANCE PRAISE for HEALING FROM INFIDELITY: "Rebuilding a marriage after an affair is one of life's biggest hurts and challenges. Weiner-Davis' no-nonsense advice is clear, insightful, and can save your marriage." Daniel G. Amen, MD Founder, Amen Clinics, Co-author of The Brain Warrior's Way "In a paradoxical sense, Healing from Infidelity, another brilliant book by Michele Weiner-Davis, is a call for fidelity to marriage regardless of commitment challenges. Filled with wisdom from years of clinical experience, case histories that document the healing process and practical guidance for all the stages on the journey to recovery, this book will be useful to every couple who has experienced an affair and therapists who want to help them." Harville Hendrix, Ph. D. and Helen LaKelly Hunt, Ph. D, co-authors of Making Marriage Simple “I know of no better person to guide you through the toughest relationship issues than Michele Weiner-Davis. Her skill, knowledge, and proven track record put her in the rare class of the most successful therapists in the world.” Pat Love, Ph.D Author of Hot Monogamy "This book can be used as a standalone for couples, as well as an adjunct to therapy. Its even-handed orientation will appeal to both the unfaithful partner and the injured spouse. It is book of “how to;” not a book about “why.”... There is a path to success, and as a tireless advocate of marriage, Michele Weiner-Davis provides a roadmap to recovery in Healing from Infidelity." Jeff Zeig, PhD. Founder and Director of the Milton H. Erickson Foundation "In Healing from Infidelity, esteemed therapist Michele Weiner-Davis takes couples through the arduous task of recovery from betrayal of trust. ....A wiser and more experienced voice for restoring faith in relationship would be hard for afflicted couples to find." Steven Stosny, Ph.D., author of Soar Above: How to Use the Most Profound Part of the Brian under Any Kind of Stress

It's Not You: 27 (Wrong) Reasons You're Single


Sara Eckel - 2014
    Even the most self-possessed singleton may come to doubt herself. ?"You're too picky. Just find a good-enough guy and you'll be fine." "You're too desperate. If men think you need them, they'll run scared." "You're too independent. Smart, ambitious women always have a harder time finding mates." "You have low self-esteem. You can't love someone else until you've learned to love yourself.""You're too needy. You can't be happy in a relationship until you've learned to be happy on your own." It's Not You is structured around the many messages that singles, especially single women, get about who they are and who they're supposed to be. Supported by the latest psychological and sociological research, as well as interviews with single women, Eckel creates a strong argument for why you should love yourself as you are--no change necessary. By debunking the myths that have kept single women doubting themselves, Eckel encourages singles to stop picking apart their personalities and to start tapping into their own wisdom about who and what is right for them, as they begin to understand and accept there's no one reason they're single--they just are.

All the Rules: Time-Tested Secrets for Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right


Ellen Fein - 1995
    Right starts here. This simple set of dating dos and don'ts-combining The Rules and The Rules II-will teach you how to find (and keep!) a man who treats you with the respect and dignity you deserve.You are a creature unlike any other (Rule #1)-that's why you need... The Rules. Refreshingly blunt, astonishingly effective, and at times hilarious, All the Rules will lead you to where you want to be: in a healthy, committed relationship. These commonsense guidelines will help you:Lead a full, satisfying, busy life outside of romance.Accept occasional defeat and move on.Bring out the best in you and in the men you date.Whether you're eighteen or eighty, these time-tested techniques will help you find the man of your dreams.