if it would just cut to the chase. Stripped of its arcane language and its interminable passages of poetry, genealogy, and law, every book of the Bible is condensed down to its core message, in no more than a few pages each. Written by Mark Russell with cartoons by New Yorker cartoonist Shannon Wheeler, God Is Disappointed in You is a frequently hilarious, often shocking, but always accurate retelling of the Bible, including the parts selectively left out by Sunday School teachers and church sermons. Irreverent yet faithful, this book is a must-read for anyone who wants to see past the fog of religious agendas and cultural debates to discover what the Bible really says.

    Celebrating the creative side of failure in a way we can all relate to, F in Exams gathers the most hilarious and inventive test answers provided by students who, faced with a question they have no hope of getting right, decide to have a little fun instead. Whether in science (Q: What is the highest frequency noise that a human can register? A: Mariah Carey), the humanities (Q: What did Mahatma Gandhi and Genghis Khan have in common? A: Unusual names), math, or other subjects, these 250 entries prove that while everyone enjoys the spectacle of failure, it's even sweeter to see a FAIL turn into a WIN.

    He has, as they say, been around a bit. And as a result, he's got one or two things to tell us about how it all works; and being Jeremy Clarkson he's not about to voice them quietly, humbly and without great dollops of humour.In The World According to Clarkson, he reveals why it is that:Too much science is bad for our health'70s rock music is nothing to be ashamed ofHunting foxes while drunk and wearing night-sights is neither big nor cleverWe must work harder to get rid of cricketHe likes the Germans (well, sometimes)With a strong dose of common sense that is rarely, if ever, found inside the M25, Clarkson hilariously attacks the pompous, the ridiculous, the absurd and the downright idiotic, whilst also celebrating the eccentric, the clever and the sheer bloody brilliant.Less a manifesto for living and more a road map to modern life, The World According to Clarkson is the funniest book you'll read this year. Don't leave home without it.

    It's the most powerful tool that any photographer has at their disposal. Whether the lens is turned to people, wildlife or the landscape, it is the creative use of light that transforms a snapshot into a photograph." Chasing the Light" enlightens photographers of all levels and helps them make the most of this most important tool--light. With over 25 years of experience in the photographic industry as a photographer, writer, and educator, Ibarionex Perello has developed an approach to photography that has helped photography enthusiasts from all over the world discover and nurture their own passion for photography. In" Chasing the Light, "he brings his palpable passion to the subject as he guides the reader through many scenarios--landscape, close-up, portraits--using his principle of seeing and evaluating the light and then using the right features and controls on the camera to make the most of it. Utilizing a very personal approach rooted in decades of experience, he shares how to see, control, and use available light to create beautiful and personal photographs. By developing the way photographers "see" light, "Chasing the Light "aids them to make the connection between the camera and their own eye. "Chasing the Light "removes the mystery of the buttons and dials that control focus, exposure, white balance, and sharpness and free the photographer to explore their own unlimited creativity. In an industry so filled with obsession over gear, " Chasing the Light" removes much of that from the discussion and returns the reader to a basic, yet inspirational, conversation about leveraging light to take evocative photographs.

    But her "problems" have landed her in shopping rehab--that's what happens when you spend $246,893.50 in one afternoon at Barneys. Now she's decided to write her memoir, revealing the gut-wrenching hurdles she's had to overcome in order to be perfect in every way, every day. Hurdles such as: - I hate my horse. - Every job I've ever had is the worst job I've ever had. - He's not a doctor, a lawyer, or a prince. - I'll eat anything, as long as it's gluten-free, dairy-free, low-carb, low-fat, low-calorie, sugar-free, and organic. In an Adderall-induced flash of inspiration, Babe Walker has managed to create one of the most enjoyable, unforgettable memoirs in years.

    With a 24/7 news cycle reporting that the polar ice caps are melting, hurricanes are swirling in the seas, wars are heating up around the world, and the job market is in a deep freeze, it's tempting to feel that the world is falling apart. But awesome things are all around us-sometimes we just need someone to point them out.The Book of Awesome reminds us that the best things in life are free (yes, your grandma was right). With laugh-out-loud observations from award- winning comedy writer Neil Pasricha, The Book of Awesome is filled with smile-inducing moments on every page that make you feel like a kid looking at the world for the first time. Read it and you'll remember all the things there are to feel good about. The Book of Awesome reminds us of all the little things that we often overlook but that make us smile. With touching, warm, and funny observations, each entry ends with the big booming feeling you'll get when you read through them: AWESOME!

    Its Philosophy 101 for everyone who knows not to take all this heavy stuff too seriously. Some of the Big Ideas are Existentialism (what do Hegel and Bette Midler have in common?), Philosophy of Language (how to express what its like being stranded on a desert island with Halle Berry), Feminist Philosophy (why, in the end, a man is always a man), and much more. Finally it all makes sense!

    With "Web Design For Dummies," you will be able to design your own Web site like a pro.Web design requires many programs to make a Website attractive and fun, including: Using Web editors like DreamweaverImage editing tools like Photoshop elementsDrawing utensils like IllustratorBackground markup and scripting languages like HTML and CSSThis fun guide covers all of the topics that every aspiring Web designer should know. This book offers advice on: Designing for your audienceBuilding a solid framework for easy navigationCreating appealing graphics that work with the siteChoosing the proper type and colorsTweaking the HTML to make everything work correctlyApplying next-step technologies including JavaScriptParlaying your skills into paid workWith expert guidance from Lisa Lopuck, a pioneer in interactive media design and the Senior Producer at Disney, you will be creating superb Web pages that will charm and impress all of your visitors

    How To is a guide to the third kind of approach. It's full of highly impractical advice for everything from landing a plane to digging a hole.Bestselling author and cartoonist Randall Munroe explains how to predict the weather by analyzing the pixels of your Facebook photos. He teaches you how to tell if you're a baby boomer or a 90's kid by measuring the radioactivity of your teeth. He offers tips for taking a selfie with a telescope, crossing a river by boiling it, and powering your house by destroying the fabric of space-time. And if you want to get rid of the book once you're done with it, he walks you through your options for proper disposal, including dissolving it in the ocean, converting it to a vapor, using tectonic plates to subduct it into the Earth's mantle, or launching it into the Sun.By exploring the most complicated ways to do simple tasks, Munroe doesn't just make things difficult for himself and his readers. As he did so brilliantly in What If?, Munroe invites us to explore the most absurd reaches of the possible. Full of clever infographics and amusing illustrations, How To is a delightfully mind-bending way to better understand the science and technology underlying the things we do every day.

    550 Effortless Keto Recipes for Quick Weight Loss in 2019-20!  Do you crave quick & effortless keto recipes? And I know you had tasty dinners with the loved ones and there are a few or more extra pounds ''on board''! That's why I focused on creating the one and only Keto recipe book with 550 Delicious meals, that you'll ever need to cook to stay on Keto! Shoot for it!This simple, yet powerful keto cookbook has plenty of content in the following categories: My Top 10 Keto Recipes No-fuss Brunch and Dinner recipes to keep ''cheating'' Energizing Smoothies and Breakfasts Great Meatless and Vegetarian recipes Great variety of Soups, Stews and Salads Fascinating Keto Desserts & Drinks Lots of protein recipes - Poultry, Meat, Fish & Seafood Craveable Side Dishes  &  Snacks This complete Keto diet book will take care of your scarce cooking time and will show you the easiest & tastiest way towards a PERMANENT WEIGHT-LOSS & New Life on the keto. Get it now and give yourself the best present!

    In other words, perfect." - The Huffington PostAn amusing and captivating tale that's a delightful primer for laughing at the inevitable: If you're a dinosaur, all of your friends are dead. If you're a pirate, all of your friends have scurvy. If you're a tree, all of your friends are end tables. Each page of this laugh-out-loud, illustrated humor book showcases the downside of being everything from a clown to a cassette tape to a zombie. Cute and dark all at once, this hilarious children's book for adults teaches valuable lessons about life.From the sock whose only friends have gone missing to the houseplant whose friends are being slowly killed by irresponsible plant owners (like you), All My Friends Are Dead presents hilariously entertaining stories about life and existential predicaments.The simple yet effective imagery, the personification of inanimate objects, and short, hilarious quips come together to create an amusing adventure through each character's unique grievance and wide-eyed dilemmas.Written by Avery Monsen, an actor, artist, and writer and Jory John, a writer, editor, and journalist. They are friends, and neither is dead. Yet.All My Friends Are Dead is both the saddest funny book and the funniest sad book you'll ever read.Children's book written for adults Displayed in an accessible cartoon form

    For example, I was once pinned down by a young lad who repeatedly asked me why I was hitting myself, when he knew full well that I had temporarily ceded hegemony over my hands and forearms. I tried to explain it to him, but he didn’t seem to comprehend. In retrospect, I can only conclude that my explanation was not articulate enough.To that end, I and Phil Plait have teamed up to create precisely 128 insults designed to weaken the resolve of aggressors, while educating them in their primary field of interest. Whether the person pummeling you is a student of mathematics or belles-lettres, we have the right words for the occasion.Zach WeinersmithPS: In the highly likely situation that the person pummeling you refuses to cease his aggression until he understands the meaning of the insult, we have also provided an appendix in which the insults are explained.

    You'll soon be relating to the sense of humour that moves an ambulance driver to respond to his friend and fellow paramedic's predicament on a hot summer's day, as a powerful smell engulfs the saloon of the vehicle. What would you do? Open the cab windows and the hatch through to the saloon to provide some extra ventilation? Of course not! You switch the heating on, causing the already intolerable pong to become even more unbearable, making for a bangin' mess room tale on your later return! Wonderfully illustrated with cartoons depicting each scene, it's an eye-watering insight into the Lighter Side of working on the Dark Side, straight from the mess rooms of ambulance stations up and down the UK. There's also a heartening reminder of the power of a flamin’ good belly laugh and its analgesic effect even in situations of severe pain. This is a book that laughs in the face of extreme emotion and stress. Outrageous? Perhaps. Distasteful? Probably. Humorous? Absolutely!

    With four brand new stories and two previously published tales, you are sure to giggle, smirk and guffaw. So escape from reality for a bit and snag a copy of Free the Shorts!