In Honey Badger Don't Care(tm), Randall presents a dozen crazy, badass animals of the wild kingdom as only Randall could. Don't be stupid--buy this book!

    In reality, mythology is more screwed up than a schizophrenic shaman doing hits of unidentified. Wait, it all makes sense now. In Zeus Grants Stupid Wishes, Cory O’Brien, creator of Myths RETOLD!, sets the stories straight. These are rude, crude, totally sacred texts told the way they were meant to be told: loudly, and with lots of four-letter words. Skeptical? Here are just a few gems to consider: � Zeus once stuffed an unborn fetus inside his thigh to save its life after he exploded its mother by being too good in bed. � The entire Egyptian universe was saved because Sekhmet just got too hammered to keep murdering everyone. � The Hindu universe is run by a married couple who only stop murdering in order to throw sweet dance parties…on the corpses of their enemies. � The Norse goddess Freyja once consented to a four-dwarf gangbang in exchange for one shiny necklace. And there’s more dysfunctional goodness where that came from.

    His favorite hostess and love interest, Connie, was murdered in the parking lot behind the club. And Zeb, the dubious plastic surgeon who implanted McEvoy's hair plugs, has disappeared. In no time at all McEvoy's got half the New Jersey mob, dirty cops and his man-crazy upstairs neighbor after him. Bullets are flying, everyone's on the take, and McEvoy still doesn't have a clue about what's happening.

    Thankfully, Sandi Toksvig has come to the rescue with her entertaining guide to modern manners, with tips on what to do whether you're talking to a bore, or forgot their name in the first place. (Just call them 'darling'.)The award-winning Radio 4 broadcaster and writer offers guidance on the social pitfalls of every phase of life, from christenings to condolence letters. With characteristic wit and perceptiveness, and revealing the trickiest of her encounters along the way, she highlights decency rather than convention and provides an essential guide to twenty-first century behaviour.

    But when he breaks free from his shackles and tears through the streets of Mousopolis, there's no stopping his terrifying rampage. Is anyone clever enough to halt this massive meowing menace?

    Let's face it, comparing cats and dogs is like, well, like comparing apples and oranges. They are different, and they have different needs. A dog is a pack animal that needs a leader. By nature a dog expects to get rubbed and wrestled with. Dogs like to horse around. A cat does not. A cat is a solitary predator and needs its space. But what both cats and dogs do need is your love and attention. Just because a cat is, by nature, independent doesn't mean that he or she doesn't need your praise or physical affection. There are a lot of myths about cats -- like the one above -- that lead to their mistreatment. By learning more about what makes a cat a cat, you will be better able to give your feline the space, care, and love that he or she needs. And this sentiment couldn't be truer when it comes to training your cat. Hitting or yelling at your cat when he scratches his claws on your nice new couch just doesn't make sense. Your cat is only being a cat. He needs to scratch his nails so they can stay healthy and strong. Also, scratching helps a cat relieve stress and relax. Imagine being yelled at and hit for sprawling out on the couch with a magazine and a glass of nice red wine after a long day's work. You must align your training expectations with your cat's needs if you want to have a happy, well-trained cat. Johnson-Bennett advises you to "get on her level emotionally, physically, and mentally in order to map out an effective training plan." She outlines three basic methods for training: positive reinforcement (rewarding kitty for good behavior), remote control (spraying kitty with a water gun when she jumps on the kitchen counter), and redirection (getting kitty to scratch on a scratching post instead of your expensive couch). By using these training methods in the first place, you will get a head start in establishing good behavior, and in the process you and your cat will become closer.If you want to learn more about your cat and what you can do to strengthen and enjoy your relationship with each other, then Think Like a Cat should really be on your reading list. From years of experience as a vet technician and as an adoring cat owner, Johnson-Bennett knows her stuff. And she covers it all in this book -- from grooming, training, health, and nutrition to emergency care, games, and toys. So get ready to hear a lot more purring around the house!—Jen Forman

    Celebrating the creative side of failure in a way we can all relate to, F in Exams gathers the most hilarious and inventive test answers provided by students who, faced with a question they have no hope of getting right, decide to have a little fun instead. Whether in science (Q: What is the highest frequency noise that a human can register? A: Mariah Carey), the humanities (Q: What did Mahatma Gandhi and Genghis Khan have in common? A: Unusual names), math, or other subjects, these 250 entries prove that while everyone enjoys the spectacle of failure, it's even sweeter to see a FAIL turn into a WIN.

    These are the memoirs of 29 year old John Birmingham, who has shared houses and apartments with 89 people and kept notes on all of them.

    Described by one reviewer as “like getting stabbed in the head,” the $6 million film earned a grand total of $1,800 at the box office and closed after two weeks. Now in its tenth anniversary year, The Room is an international phenomenon to rival The Rocky Horror Picture Show. Thousands of fans wait in line for hours to attend screenings complete with costumes, audience rituals, merchandising, and thousands of plastic spoons.Readers need not have seen The Room to appreciate its costar Greg Sestero’s account of how Tommy Wiseau defied every law of artistry, business, and interpersonal relationships to achieve the dream only he could love. While it does unravel mysteries for fans, The Disaster Artist is more than just an hilarious story about cinematic hubris: It is ultimately a surprisingly inspiring tour de force that reads like a page-turning novel, an open-hearted portrait of a supremely enigmatic man who will capture your heart.

    But with mischievous and irrepressible Soot, the cockney ghost of a chimney sweep, alongside her, Stella is determined to fight back ... and sometimes a special friend, however different, is all you need to win through.

    But times have changed. His customers have grown older—and balder. Suddenly there is no longer a call for Guillaume's particular services, and he is forced to make a drastic career change. Since love and companionship are necessary commodities at any age, he becomes Amour-sur-Belle's official matchmaker and intends to unite hearts as ably as he once cut hair. But alas, Guillaume is not nearly as accomplished an agent of amour, as the disastrous results of his initial attempts amply prove, especially when it comes to arranging his own romantic future.For every reader who adored Chocolat, Julia Stuart's The Matchmaker of Périgord is a delectable, utterly enchanting, and sinfully satisfying delight.

    It shows the many ways in which the Felis Domesticus can drive their owners mad yet maintain their keeper's affections. Read, laugh and see if you find yourself (and your cat -- or cats) in these pages.The 99 reasons are all amusingly illustrated with original cartoon art. For the color-capable Kindle Fire and Kindle apps (on iPhone, iPad and Android), the illustrations are shown in color.

    In these sharp, hilariously entertaining, and vividly observed pieces, Ephron illuminates an era with wicked honesty and insight. From the famous “A Few Words About Breasts” to important pieces on her time working for the New York Post and Gourmet Magazine, these essays show Ephron at her very best.

    Was the Battle of Hastings a French victory?Non! William the Conqueror was Norman and hated the French.Were the Brits really responsible for the death of Joan of Arc?Non! The French sentenced her to death for wearing trousers.Was the guillotine a French invention?Non! It was invented in Yorkshire.Ten centuries' worth of French historical 'facts' bite the dust as Stephen Clarke looks at what has really been going on since 1066 ...

    This book wouldn't elevate a cow. I cannot conscientiously recommend it for any useful purposes whatever. All I can suggest is that when you get tired of reading 'the best hundred books, ' you may take this up for half an hour. It will be a change." (from the Preface to "Idle Thoughts of an Idle Fellow by Jerome Jerome)