Working a series of heinous crimes, Zach uncovers a dark, treacherous secret – a conspiracy that could alter America’s future and result in the secession of Texas. Co-authored by P.A. Troit and bestselling writer Joe Nobody, Secession explores a world where a hopelessly gridlocked government fuels an ever-deepening divide between right and left. The public’s frustration with the country’s direction forces desperate leaders on both sides of the political spectrum to consider splitting the union.Based on actual historic events, current economic realities, and a growing global trend, Secession immerses the reader in a lifelike scenario that could be America’s future.

    The answer lies within your metabolism, the body's crucial, energy-burning engine that for so many of us is revving at less than half speed. With the help of this book, you can quickly and easily turn your metabolism into a fat-melting machine.The Super Metabolism Diet features daily menus, handy shopping guides, a vast trove of amazing (though optional) workouts, and tons of delicious recipes--all designed to get your metabolism firing hotter than ever before! So say goodbye to bloat, harsh dieting, weight-loss fads, and even stress. Say bye-bye to belly fat and hello to a new and improved you.The Super Metabolism Diet is built on five core pillars (captured in a handy acronym) to ensure that your body burns more energy and stores less fat:Super Proteins, Super Carbs, and Super Fats Upping Your Energy Expenditure Power Snacks Essential Calories, Vitamins, and Minerals Relaxing and RechargingAs Zinczenko reports: If you're heavier than you want to be or moving sluggishly through your days, you don't need to cut your favorite foods from your diet. You just need to up your intake of core proteins that will build more energy-burning muscle, consume the healthiest fats that help increase satiety and speed nutrients throughout your body, and reach for plenty of good-for-you carbs--yes, carbs!--that provide essential fiber.The result will be a stronger, leaner, happier you. And you'll be stunned at how good you look and feel in no time at all."You'll see results almost immediately, never be hungry, and watch the weight keep coming off!"--Michele Promaulayko, editor in chief of Cosmopolitan and former editor in chief of Women's Health Includes a bonus PDF with recipes and exercises.

    because he wants to watch Caillou, he’s an a-hole. When your daughter outlines every corner of your living room with a purple crayon, she’s an a-hole. When your rug rats purposely decorate the kitchen ceiling with their smoothies, they’re a-holes. So it’s only natural to want to kill them sometimes. Of course you can’t because you’d go to prison, and then you’d really never get to poop alone again. Plus, there’s that whole loving them more than anything in the whole world thing. Karen Alpert is the writer of the popular blog Baby Sideburns. You may have seen some of her more viral posts like “Ten Things I Really F’ing Want for Mother’s Day,” “Daddy Sticker Chart” and “What NOT to F’ing Buy My Kids this Holiday.” Or you may know her from her Facebook page that has over 130,000 followers. I Heart My Little A-Holes is full of hilarious stories, lists, thoughts and pictures that will make you laugh so hard you’ll wish you were wearing a diaper.

    But not doing so can cause long-term stress, burnout, and loss of the joy we find in work.As a top tech leader, Bruce Daisley has seen up close how an around-the-clock work culture can lead employees to feel perpetually stressed-out, disengaged, and unhappy. In this workshop, Daisley lays out specific strategies to help us break free from the unhealthy work habits that lead to burnout and shows us that protecting our personal time can lead to more inspiration and more joy on the job. Key takeaways:Create and acknowledge boundaries: Adopt simple habits or tactics (like taking short breaks and switching off emails on certain nights) to disconnect from work momentarily and reenergize your mindBe open about burnout: Have honest conversations with managers and teams about the effects of workplace stress and how best to address themLighten up with laughter: Laugh and have a good time with colleagues to release stress and feel connected to a larger group About the mentor: Bruce Daisley is the former European vice president for Twitter and host of the UK’s number one business podcast, Eat Sleep Work Repeat. He is the best-selling author of Eat Sleep Work Repeat: 30 Hacks for Bringing Joy to Your Job, and his writing has appeared in The Wall Street Journal, The Washington Post, Wired, Harvard Business Review, The Guardian, and The Daily Telegraph.©2020 Bruce Daisley (P)2020 Audible Originals, LLC.

    Bestselling Author of We’re Just Like You, Only Prettier and Bless Your Heart, Tramp Hang on to your hats! We’re in for some fiercely funny weather and crackling-sharp observations from Celia Rivenbark, of whom USA Today has said, “Think Dave Barry with a female point of view.” With her incomparable style and sassy southern wit, you’ll hear from Celia on:--The joys of remodeling Tara--How Harry Potter bitch-slaps Nancy Drew--Britney’s To-Do list: pick okra, cover that thang up--How rugby-playing lesbians torpedoed beach day--Why French women suck at competitive eating--The truth about nature deficit disorder--The difference between cockroaches and water bugs--The beauty of BedazzlersAnd much, much more! Whether she’s doing her taxes or extolling the virtues of Madonna’s mothering skills, Celia Rivenbark will keep you laughing until the very last page.

    The station manager who hired him was the first to recognize his considerable on-air talent, and helped start what has become a legendary radio career. Often compared to Howard Stern, Carton has hosted a series of highly rated shows, and in 2007 he joined WFAN, where he and Boomer Esiason host an eponymous show every morning for four hours out of a studio in New York City.In this debut book, Carton invites the reader to join him as he recounts tales from his suburban youth, defends his long-held love affair with the New York Jets, reminisces about the shenanigans of some of the highest paid and most celebrated athletes playing today, and reflects on his work as one of radio’s craftiest, most hilarious personalities ever to get behind the microphone.

    Introducing Ashley Keller, career girl turned stay-at-home mom who's trying to navigate the world of Pinterest-perfect, Facebook-fantastic and Instagram-impressive mommies but failing miserably. When Ashley gets the opportunity to participate in the Motherhood Better boot camp run by the mommy-blog-empire maven she idolizes, she jumps at the chance to become the perfect mom she's always wanted to be. But will she fly high or flop? With her razor-sharp wit and knack for finding the funny in everything, Bunmi Laditan creates a character as flawed and lovable as Bridget Jones or Becky Bloomwood while hilariously lambasting the societal pressures placed upon every new mother. At its heart, Ashley's story reminds moms that there's no way to be perfect, but many ways to be great.

    A busy job made more troublesome when life throws her into the path of unsolved crimes! With her own quirky style and the help of friends from the tight-knit community, Marjorie sets to work to solve the puzzles. Join her as she sifts clues, weighs information, and serves delicious crumpets with lashings of honey. Add to that an occasional feline helping paw, and the culprits will be the ones shaking in their boots. This delectable cozy collection includes the following titles: Calico Confusion Chartreux Shock Lykoi Larceny Marjorie's Cozy Kitten Cafe Mysteries are quick 1-2 hour reads perfect for filling in time waiting for appointments, commuting to work, or when your significant other insists on watching the show that makes you roll your eyes! They are chock-a-block full of kittens but I promise there's no swearing, no cliffhangers, and no graphic scenes.

    It's a funny book about the news, partly because it was decided that a pornographic book about Scottish Independence wouldn't really sell. In chapters ranging from International Politics to the Animal World, 'Scotland's Jesus' is allowed the opportunity to showcase his increasingly unsympathetic worldview and disintegrating psyche. A torrent of jokes about recent events provide the framework for a broader philosophical despair. Frankie Boyle uses the stories of the popular press as a springboard to explain the nature of reality and the details of our enslavement to mirthless corporate Warlocks.

    Tales of unreasonably cold air conditioning, eating to the point of exhaustion, and being unable to enjoy Summer weather due to gainful employment.

    Who’s on first?In The History of Sketch Comedy, Emmy- and Peabody-winning actor, writer, and producer Keegan-Michael Key (Key & Peele, The Prom, Jingle Jangle) embarks listeners on an epic, insightful, and utterly entertaining voyage through the annals of sketch comedy. Key takes us from the early flatulence jokes of ancient Greece and the acting troupes of Europe in the 1500s, to the rise of The Second City in Chicago and his own comedy origins on the ball fields near Detroit’s 8 Mile. Equal parts masterclass, personal odyssey, and virtuoso performance, Key’s The History of Sketch Comedy dissects the landmark characters, concepts, and performers that pushed the boundaries and forged new ground in the comedy pantheon, and along the way, reveals his own experiences of discovering and being influenced by them.Over the course of ten half-hour chapters, one of the most beloved voices of our time treats listeners to a private, millennia-spanning interpretation of sketch comedy history from its humble past to its immodest present."The History of Sketch Comedy is far more eccentric, funny and personal than an Intro to Comedy class… A feat… Keegan-Michael Key pairs a fan’s gushing enthusiasm with the skilled craftsmanship of a seasoned pro who knows that laughter can be contagious… One comes away from this series not just entertained and informed, but also convinced." —The New York Times"Elle and Keegan’s comedic collaboration is such a joy to listen to. It’s a rare occasion where the topic of comedy is being explored by someone who is genuinely funny. I recommend this gem to everyone who loves comedy or is just looking for a good laugh."—Mike Myers

    Like ‘fun run’, it often actually means exactly the opposite.Titus O’Reily, the sports historian Australia neither needs nor deserves, examines why our nation’s sportspeople are so readily forgiven for doing terrible things. With ridiculous tales from Australia’s chequered sporting history, A Sporting Chance dissects the scandals big and small, the mistakes made in covering them up and the path athletes tread back to redemption. From the Essendon supplements saga and the sandpaper-loving Australian cricket team to whatever it is Nick Kyrgios has done now, Titus reveals the archetypes at the heart of our greatest sporting scandals. There’s the corrupt cop who gave us the race that stopped a nation and the boxing champion who refused to train. There’s the cashed-up businessmen who bankrupted clubs and the commentators who can’t get their foot out of their mouth. And of course there’s the good blokes, like Wayne Carey, Matthew Johns and Shane Warne, who it seems we’ll forgive for absolutely anything. In his rambling and at times incoherent style, Titus asks the question: are Australians really that forgiving of their sporting heroes? With the rise of social media, women’s sport and the drive towards greater equality, are the good blokes of Australia’s sporting landscape an endangered species?

    Rather than feeling large and in charge, we feel little and belittled.Sound familiar? Bestselling "anti-guru" Sarah Knight has three simple words for you: YOU DO YOU. It's time to start putting your happiness first--and stop letting other people tell you what to do, how to do it, or why it can't be done. And don't panic! You can do it without losing friends and alienating people. Knight delivers her trademark no-bullsh*t advice about:The Tyranny of "Just Because"The social contract and how to amend itTurning "flaws" into strengths--aka "mental redecorating"Why it's not your job to be niceLetting your freak flag flyHow to take risks, silence the doubters, and prove the haters wrongPraise for Sarah Knight"Genius." --Cosmopolitan"Self-help to swear by." --Boston Globe"Hilarious... truly practical." --Booklist

    Bomb threats. Tables of turds. Welcome to the life of a nurse.Nurses are our number-one unsung heroes. They're the ones in the trenches mopping up bodily fluids, holding hands, keeping things ticking - and always with a smile on their face. In Off the Charts, Australia's favourite straight-talking nurse and comedian Georgie Carroll lets you peek behind the curtains to see the inner workings of a hospital. Taking us ward to ward, limb to limb, stitch to stitch, Georgie does not hold back as she shows us the human fragility and fierceness she sees every day at work.This is a laugh-out-loud funny celebration of the big-hearted, no-b*llshit nurses who, sooner or later, play a huge role in all of our lives.

    The best stories are often about the lowest points in our lives - the soul-crushing jobs, the bad boyfriends, the terrible holidays, the betrayals and heartbreaks. These are the stories I tell people to make them like me, but, more importantly, they've helped me learn how to like myself.So this book is a collection of thankyous and acknowledgments:∗ Thank you to an ex-lover who marvelled at the fact he could get hard with me, even though I wasn't up to his usual standard.∗ Thank you to the coked-up real estate agent who, while lecturing me and my friend about the importance of travelling, fell down a flight of stairs.∗ Thank you to the woman who approached me after a gig and told me she hoped her daughter wouldn't end up like me.You've all taught me that you can't control who comes into your life or what happens to you, but you can decide just what it is you take from them.