The Self-Care Project: How to Let Go of Frazzle and Make Time for You


Jayne Hardy - 2017
    But self-care is not just a millennial buzzword. Without the restorative power of self-care, how will we ever escape the vicious circle where we’re sick and fed-up of feeling sick and fed-up? Self-care is a tool, accessible to us all, which helps us to take responsibility for our own happiness – our physical, emotional, psychological and social needs. Jayne Hardy, founder and CEO of The Blurt Foundation, argues that it is the best preventative measure available to us to combat overwhelmedness, stress and ill health, in our hectic, modern world.The Self-Care Project is for those who have been feeling off-kilter for a while but have not been able to put the finger on the ‘why’. It is a no-nonsense, practical journey to help you do just that. It’ll walk you through the case for self-care (why it’s so darn important), why it isn’t selfish at all, help you explore what self-care means for you, what your obstacles might be and provide advice on how to chisel out daily space for self-care in a practical, achievable and realistic way.

The Lost Art of Listening: How Learning to Listen Can Improve Relationships


Michael P. Nichols - 1996
    Nichols answers these questions and more in this thoughtful, witty, and helpful look at the reasons people don't hear one another. His book, a guide to the secrets of listening and being listened to, is filled with vivid examples that clearly demonstrate easy-to-learn techniques for becoming a better listener. He also illustrates how empathic listening enables us to break through misunderstandings and conflict and to transform our personal and professional relationships.

Overcoming Perfectionism


Roz Shafran - 2010
    But sometimes whatever we do just isn't good enough; we want to be too perfect & start setting unrealistic goals. Such high levels of perfectionism, often driven by low self-esteem, can turn against success & develop into unhealthy obsession.

An Adult Child's Guide to What's Normal


John C. Friel - 1990
    But: Do you know what healthy people do? Do you know what is “normal”? Do you know how to ask unwanted guests to leave?In An Adult Child’s Guide to What’s “Normal”, John and Linda Friel have written a practical guide to living a healthy life. Your parents may not have been able to teach you social skills but it is not too late to learn them now. Read this guide and learn how to respond to the challenges, problems and traps that we are faced with daily.

Loving Bravely: Twenty Lessons of Self-Discovery to Help You Get the Love You Want


Alexandra H. Solomon - 2017
    In order to attract a life partner, you must first become a good partner to yourself. This book offers twenty invaluable lessons that will help you explore and commit to your own emotional and psychological well-being so you’ll be ready, resilient, confident, and completely whole when that special someone comes along.Many of us enter into romantic relationships full of expectation and hope, only to be sorely disappointed by the realization that the partner we’ve selected is a flawed human being with their own neuroses, history, and desires. Most relationships end because one or both people haven’t done the internal work necessary to develop self-awareness and take responsibility for their own experiences. We’ve all heard “You can’t love anyone unless you love yourself,” but amid life’s distractions and the myth of perfect, romantic love, how exactly do you do that?In Loving Bravely, psychologist and relationship expert Alexandra H. Solomon introduces the idea of relational self-awareness, encouraging you to explore your personal history to gain an understanding of your own relational patterns, as well as your strengths and weaknesses in relationships. By doing so, you’ll learn what relationships actually require, beyond the fairytale notions of romance. And by maintaining a steady but gentle focus on yourself, you’ll build the best possible foundation for making a loving connection.By understanding your past relationship experiences, cultivating a strong sense of self-awareness, and determining what it is you really want in a romantic partner—you’ll be ready to find the healthy, lasting love your heart desires.

The Essential Family Guide to Borderline Personality Disorder: New Tools and Techniques to Stop Walking on Eggshells


Randi Kreger - 2007
    Extreme mood swings, impulsive behaviors, unfair blaming and criticism, and suicidal tendencies common conduct among those who suffer from the disorder leave family members feeling confused, hurt, and helpless. In Stop Walking on Eggshells, Randi Kreger's pioneering first book which sold more than 340,000 copies, she and co-author Paul T. Mason outlined the fundamental differences in the way that people with BPD relate to the world. Now, with The Essential Family Guide to Borderline Personality Disorder, Kreger takes readers to the next level by offering them five straightforward tools to organize their thinking, learn specific skills, and focus on what they need to do to get off the emotional rollercoaster: Take care of yourself; Uncover what keeps you feeling stuck; Communicate to be heard; Set limits with love; Reinforce the right behaviors. Together the steps provide a clear-cut system designed to help friends and family reduce stress, improve their relationship with their borderline loved one, improve their problem-solving skills and minimize conflict, and feel more self-assured about setting limits.

The Disease to Please: Curing the People-Pleasing Syndrome


Harriet B. Braiker - 2000
    Those who suffer from the Disease to Please are people who say "Yes" when they really want to say "No." For them, the uncontrollable need for the elusive approval of others is an addiction. Their debilitating fears of anger and confrontation force them to use "niceness" and "people-pleasing" as self-defense camouflage.Featured on NBC's "Today," The Disease to Please explodes the dangerous myth that "people pleasing" is a benign problem. Best-selling author and frequent Oprah guest Dr. Harriet Braiker offers clear, positive, practical, and easily do-able steps toward recovery.Begin with a simple but revealing quiz to discover what type of people-pleaser you are. Then learn how making even small changes to any single portion of the Disease to Please Triangle - involving your thoughts, feelings, and behavior - will cause a dramatic, positive and long-lasting change to the overall syndrome.As a recovered peoplepleaser, you will finally see that a balanced way of living that takes others into consideration but puts the emphasis first on pleasing yourself and gaining your own approval is the clearest path to health and happiness.

It's Not Always Depression: Working the Change Triangle to Listen to the Body, Discover Core Emotions, and Connect to Your Authentic Self


Hilary Jacobs Hendel - 2018
      Sara suffered a debilitating fear of asserting herself. Spencer experienced crippling social anxiety. Bonnie was shut down, disconnected from her feelings. These patients all came to psychotherapist Hilary Jacobs Hendel seeking treatment for depression, but in fact none of them were chemically depressed. Rather, Jacobs Hendel found that they’d all experienced traumas in their youth that caused them to put up emotional defenses that masqueraded as symptoms of depression. Jacobs Hendel led these patients and others toward lives newly capable of joy and fulfillment through an empathic and effective therapeutic approach that draws on the latest science about the healing power of our emotions.   Whereas conventional therapy encourages patients to talk through past events that may trigger anxiety and depression, accelerated experiential dynamic psychotherapy (AEDP), the method practiced by Jacobs Hendel and pioneered by Diana Fosha, PhD, teaches us to identify the defenses and inhibitory emotions (shame, guilt, and anxiety) that block core emotions (anger, sadness, fear, disgust, joy, excitement, and sexual excitement). Fully experiencing core emotions allows us to enter an openhearted state where we are calm, curious, connected, compassionate, confident, courageous, and clear.   In It’s Not Always Depression, Jacobs Hendel shares a unique and pragmatic tool called the Change Triangle—a guide to carry you from a place of disconnection back to your true self. In these pages, she teaches lay readers and helping professionals alike   • why all emotions—even the most painful—have value. • how to identify emotions and the defenses we put up against them. • how to get to the root of anxiety—the most common mental illness of our time. • how to have compassion for the child you were and the adult you are.   Jacobs Hendel provides navigational tools, body and thought exercises, candid personal anecdotes, and profound insights gleaned from her patients’ remarkable breakthroughs. She shows us how to work the Change Triangle in our everyday lives and chart a deeply personal, powerful, and hopeful course to psychological well-being and emotional engagement.

Can't Stop Thinking: How to Let Go of Anxiety and Free Yourself from Obsessive Rumination


Nancy Colier - 2021
    Are you a chronic overthinker? Do you obsess to the point of feeling anxious, hopeless, angry, or stressed out? Have you ever tried to “think your way out” of one of these negative thought spirals, only to fall in deeper? Let’s face it: trying to escape your thoughts—or control them—just doesn’t work, and can actually make you more miserable in the long run. So, how can you overcome your addiction to thinking?   In Can’t Stop Thinking, psychotherapist and spiritual counselor Nancy Colier offers the keys to breaking free from the obsessive rumination that drives stress, worry, and anxiety. Using powerful tools grounded in the ancient wisdom of mindfulness and evidence-based acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT), you’ll learn how to observe and gain distance from troubling thoughts, put an end to harsh self-criticism, and manage difficult feelings like resentment and shame. If you’re ready to discover a life beyond your thoughts—one of self-compassion, presence, and peace—it’s time to stop thinking and start living.

Taming Your Outer Child: Overcoming Self-Sabotage and Healing from Abandonment


Susan Anderson - 2011
    This misguided, hidden nemesis blows your diet, overspends, and ruins your love life. Your Outer Child acts out and fulfills your legitimate childlike needs and wants in the wrong place, at the wrong time, and in counterproductive ways: It goes for immediate gratification and the quick fix in spite of your best-laid plans.Now, in a revolutionary rethinking of the link between emotion and behavior, veteran psychotherapist Susan Anderson offers a three-step program to tame your Outer Child’s destructive behavior. This dynamic, transformational set of strategies — action steps that act like physical therapy for the brain — calms your Inner Child, strengthens your Adult Self, releases you from the self-blame and shame at the root of Outer Child issues, and paves new neural pathways that can lead to more productive behavior. The result is happiness, fulfillment, self-mastery, and self-love.

Do Fly: Find Your Way. Make a Living. Be Your Best Self


Gavin Strange - 2016
    Sounds simple, doesn't it? But the reality can be quite different. Whether you're just starting out or simply ready to head in a new direction, you're going to need some help turning your natural skills into success-seeking missiles of radness.On hand is Gavin Strange, a creative working by night under the name of JamFactory and, by day, at Aardman Animations – the Academy Award-winning studio behind Wallace & Gromit and Shaun the Sheep.With advice, encouragement and a reminder that life's too short to not pursue your passion, whatever your age or position – from school leaver or graduate just starting out to CEO ready to head in a new direction, Do Fly will inspire you to:Change your perspective and revamp your mindsetDevelop creative side projectsStay optimistic and resilientDiscover skills and passions you never knew you had!Do Fly is your all-in-one guide, ticket and passport to a new destination. Are you ready for take off?

The Silent Guides


Steve Peters - 2013
    

Calm the F*ck Down: How to Control What You Can and Accept What You Can't So You Can Stop Freaking Out and Get On With Your Life


Sarah Knight - 2018
    Whether you're stressed about sh*t that hasn't happened yet or freaked out about sh*t that already has, the NoWorries method from "anti-guru" Sarah Knight helps you curb the anxiety and overthinking that's making everything worse. Calm the F*ck Down explains:The Four Faces of Freaking Out--and their FlipsidesHow to accept what you can't controlProductive Helpful Effective Worrying (PHEW)The Three Principles of Dealing With ItAnd much more!Praise for Sarah Knight and the No F*cks Given Guides"Self-help to swear by." --The Boston Globe"Genius." --Vogue"Hilarious, irreverent, and no-nonsense." --Bustle

Say What You Mean: A Mindful Approach to Nonviolent Communication


Oren Jay Sofer - 2018
    Here's a proven method that makes it not only considerably easier, but also much more effective for people on both sides of the conversation. Oren Sofer's method for effective communication is a unique combination of mindfulness with the modality called nonviolent communication (NVC), a method popular since the 1960s that is based on the belief that all human beings have the capacity for compassion and resort to violence or behavior that harms others only when they don't recognize more effective strategies for meeting needs. NVC provides those peaceful strategies. Oren's unique method for fostering peaceful--and effective--communication has three "steps" or components: (1) presence: bringing mindful awareness to the interaction, (2) intention: clarifying and setting a goal for the interaction, and (3) attention: learning to really hear and understand in a way that enables you to navigate the difficulties, express yourself clearly, and listen like it really matters--which it most certainly does. The steps are accompanied by many practical exercises, and in the course of this three-part training, readers will learn how to apply these skills to personal and social relationships with romantic partners, friends, colleagues, and family.

Mr Unavailable and the Fallback Girl


Natalie Lue - 2008
    From explaining how and why they blow hot and cold, to where that future they promised went to, how you’ve ended up being a booty call, why you’ve been together for a gazillion years but aren’t going anywhere, and more importantly how and why you’re involved with them in the first place, all of the answers are here.