And one very annoyed world.Based on the ingenious Sir Michael Twitter account, How to (Almost) Make Friends on the Internet is the funniest book you'll read this year.Whether it's offering his services as a Karate Lawyer or Funeral DJ, devising the world's worst plan to get a free haircut, or trying to buy a blue bucket that may or may not be for sale, Michael just wants to connect with people.The only problem is that people are slightly less enthusiastic about connecting with him, and the results are utterly hilarious.Warning: you'll never think about adding someone called Michael to a group chat the same way ever again.

    After being fired from his job as the clandestine stooge on hit TV show Ghostbusters UK, Elliott returns home to find his girlfriend missing. To make matters worse, Hapkido Valentine, the legendary 1980s wrestler, has returned from the dead and taken up residency in Elliott’s flat. Despite a voracious appetite for sausage sandwiches, Hapkido is convinced he has finally become the mystical Japanese warrior he once portrayed in the ring.Together they must undertake a dangerous journey to find out why the Universe created this most unlikely of partnerships. All that stands in their way is a medallion wearing TV psychic, a train-spotting assassin and the murderous intentions of the local over 75’s women’s group. If Elliott thought the day started badly, things are about to get a whole lot worse.

    Gary Handler has issues. His boss hates him, his mother hounds him, and his cat thinks he’s an idiot. But that’s okay because Gary’s got the perfect solution to all of life’s troubles: a porn site subscription and his right hand.Sadly, all habits grow old, even the fun ones. Gary soon finds himself at the doorstep of a creepy old pawn shop where he buys a used adult novelty toy to spice up his one-man sex life.Pity for him that it’s cursed by the angry spirits of all the “kids” he’s flushed down the toilet. Needless to say, hairy palms are about to become the least of his worries.----------Jack on, jack off ... with the Jacklight in book 2 of Shingles, the horror comedy series that’s not for those with faint hearts or weak bladders.

    On a cruise ship - Please do not lean on the widow. In a hotel - A sports jacket may be worn to dinner, but not trousers. In a London department store - Bargain basement upstairs.

    Having spent her first full year away at college, she has gained a new appreciation for her peaceful home and new friend, Walter. Walter jumps at the chance to work at Quail Crossings when the opportunity presents itself. Not only does Walter want to learn his chosen trade of agriculture, but he also wants to be closer to Alice who has resisted his romantic advances. The peaceful summer Alice has envisioned with her family and friend quickly dissolves as a stranger arrives proclaiming Quail Crossings as his own. Between the stranger and a natural disaster, the only home Alice has ever known could be destroyed forever. Alice and the whole clan must put their lives in danger to save the very thing that has brought them together … Quail Crossings ... or say goodbye to it forever.

    He has countless friends in the showbiz world. People like Barry Cryer, the white haired one with glasses off 'I'm Sorry I Haven't Got A Clue' and 'Jokers Wild'. This is his first volume, of what he believes may be a 6 volume collection, of his memoirs. He has a few select dates still available for anything (except window cleaning) and is represented, (if you can call it that) by Richard Daws at Komedia Entertainment. (Or if you want to go directly through me and pay cash, I can do that as well.) (In fact I prefer that.) Thank you.

    Hal SpacejockAn incompetent space pilot, a massive debt and a twenty-four hour deadline...Freighter pilot Hal Spacejock has a life to die for: His very own cargo ship, a witty and intelligent flight computer ... and a debt so big it makes the GFC look like a rounding error.Hal's an upright sort of guy, and he won't take jobs from gun runners, drug smugglers or politicians. On the other hand, the finance company's brutal enforcer is on his doorstep, and Hal has barely twenty-four hours to pay him off. Miss the deadline and he - and his ship - will go under. Way, way, under.Faced with an impossible choice, Hal chooses an impossible job ... and gains an impossible new co-pilot into the bargain.Hal Spacejock is the first novel in the Hal Spacejock series (80,000 words, approx 350 pages)2. Hal Spacejock: Second CourseRex Curtis is trying to save his freight company from bankruptcy, and the last thing he needs is a cheeky freelancer stealing his best customers.Hal Spacejock, cheeky freelancer, is fighting for survival in the cut-throat interstellar cargo business. The last thing he needs is a powerful enemy.Two headstrong men on a collision course, in a Galaxy barely room enough for one.Hal Spacejock: Second Course is book two in the Hal Spacejock series. (80,000 words, approx 350 pages)3. Hal Spacejock Just DessertsPlanet Cathua has a proud history where robots are concerned. Their legendary factories produced the best, the fastest, the most efficient robots in the Galaxy ... but no longer.Now they must go cap in hand to neighbouring planets, haggling and bartering for the very  robots they used to be so famous for.One Cathuan patriot is determined to reverse this embarrassing situation, and Hal Spacejock lands in the middle of his sinister plot ...Hal Spacejock: Just Desserts is book three in the Hal Spacejock series. (80,000 words, approx  350 pages)Plus ... Hal Spacejock: VisitHal returns to his ship after a shopping expedition, and finds Clunk in a right old state. Break out the crayons and colouring sheets ... they're booked in for a school visit!Hal and Clunk, stars of the Hal Spacejock comedy series, feature in this 3500-word short story. Visit slots into the series any time after Hal Spacejock (book one), but can be read and enjoyed as a stand-alone.

    Looking for Something New and Really Funny? Imagine you can get it with JUST ONE CLICK! Yes, this is a JOKE BOOK of your dreams. Vol.1 of the Donald's Humor Factory series. This super funny adult joke book is free of swear words. Donald Shaw is a popular comic and an award-winning humor books author (his wife gave him a French kiss award)! His jokes are loved by thousands of people from Alaska to Zimbabwe, and possibly outside of Earth. Joking is always fun! Jokes bring smiles to people’s faces. Jokes make us laugh. People fall in love when they smile at each other. We love joking in the company of our best friends and families. Jokes help us to relax and overcome any difficulties. Joking is an awesome social skill and a great way to make new friends and to communicate nearly in any surrounding. Many people also love just to read some good jokes for amusement. However, it is not that easy to find real good jokes today. Some of them are simply out-of-date. Some of them are not clean enough. You may also find many joke books that are not really funny and contain too much fluff and advertising. This jokes book is different! Buying this humor book you will get: A great collection of 300 FUNNY JOKES One-liners, real-life awkward situations, and hilarious short stories Great book to read on a long trip Clean and dirty jokes WITHOUT nasty words Jokes for adults and teenagers Jokes about relationship, marriage, bar, professions, hobbies, etc. LIMITED TIME BONUS: the link to download my FREE HUMOR LIBRARY that includes hundreds of great jokes for kids, adults, and teenagers. So the whole family may have fun! This is no-brainer, really! This book is free of racism. I support LGBT community, because love is love. I love all people in the world and I want to make you laugh and smile! This is my ultimate goal and I did not mean to insult anyone. So relax, take it easy and enjoy this humor book! Buy this funny book NOW and roll on the floor laughing! Pick up your copy today by clicking the BUY NOW button at the top of this page!

    A laugh-out-loud romantic comedy about life, love and contemporary manhood, Tom Cooper is a male Bridget Jones for our times.  ‘A gloriously self-aware, satirical romp through the terrors of relationships, family life and survival.  Philip Roth meets Cold Feet!’ Helen Lederer (Absolutely Fabulous, Losing It (P.G.Wodehouse Award nominee))   ‘Spencer Brown is endlessly inventive and delightfully, dependably silly, like a joy-seeking missile’ Richard Ayoade (The IT crowd, Submarine, The Crystal Maze) ‘An aspirational figure for the men of today’ Omid Djalili (Live at the Apollo, The Infidel) ‘Very funny. Peep Show combined with Outnumbered.  But you know.  In a book.’ Josh Howie (Josh Howie’s Losing it, BBC Radio 4) ‘Hilarious and heart-warming’ Andi Osho (Live at the Apollo, Curfew) Tom Cooper’s life has fallen apart. His wife has left, he’s stuck in an accountancy job he hates and he can’t even call on the grandparents for support – they’re too busy – after all, a Scrabble trophy doesn’t engrave itself. But when a creative position opens up at the advertising agency he works for, he sees the opportunity to turn things around. All he has to do is pitch a product to a new market, convince Maestro J he is sufficiently finger-clickingly ‘creative’, beat his weaselly co-worker/nemesis John to the job, and try not to fall for his new mentor, Amanda. Oh, and try to blend in with people 10 years younger than him, survive the office obstacle course using his imaginary agility and stop accidentally turning up to work in the exact same outfit as Doug. The Rebuilding of Tom Cooper is a laugh-out-loud comedy about life, love and 21st century manhood. 
 About the author Spencer Brown cut his teeth in the Cambridge Footlights alongside John Oliver and Matthew Holness, before becoming an internationally acclaimed stand-up comedian and TV presenter on shows including Lip Service which he hosted with Holly Willoughby. He has also appeared in cult comedies including Nathan Barley and Garth Merenghi's Darkplace, as well as starring in the films 'Shed of the Dead' and the upcoming 'The Devil went down to Islington'. He is also an award winning film maker, having written and directed The Boy with a Camera for a Face, which won multiple prizes including the Oscar qualifying Best of Fest at SLIFF.

    These peculiar outlooks bring to life the unique world of Peter Kay like never before. The Book That's More Than Just a Book - Book invites you into a world of suspect characters and awkward situations. Here you will meet Peter's family, their friends, some familiar faces, and some completely unexpected ones. Chock full of brand new material and crammed with photographs and illustrations, creating one of the funniest books you're ever likely to read.

    On the northern bank of the water, people live spoiled, luxurious lives. They feast on lamb and shop boutiques and want for nothing. On the southern side of the river, however, life is quite the opposite. Downtown residents know nothing but destitution and poverty, and they are not welcomed by their northern neighbors. Spinster Ursula Underwood shares an apartment with a gray and white cat on the impoverished southern side. Because of the loss and hardship she’s endured, Ursula has earned the nickname “Unfortunate”. She harbors great resentment at her lot in life, but a call on a diner payphone changes her outlook and gives her new purpose. Unfortunate Ursula Underwood takes us on a journey through an unknown world riddled with prejudice and hate, but one woman may change it all− as she learns to love the unlovable, forgive the undeserving and heal the intolerance in her heart.

    Now, he’s being pursued by a homicidal interstellar tourist board, and calculating insurance dividends is as outdated as making stone axes. Sci-fi-hating technophobe Colin embarks on a desperate struggle to find a cure for his illness, as well as a place for himself in this strange new galaxy where toilets talk back, and door handles are a long-forgotten relic. Only by teaming up with his rescuer, hard-boiled, space-traveling archaeologist Tyresa Jak (that’s Doctor Jak to you), can Colin hope to succeed before time runs out. Along the way, this galactic odd-couple must evade the Erd Tourist Board - a powerful mega-corporation which will do anything to ensure the mythical Earth stays mythical - and deal with a crackpot religious cult who not only possess a cure for Colin’s illness, but who also believe there is more to this caveman from Earth than meets the eye.... Don't miss the start of this side-splitting intergalactic adventure that will keep you laughing into the night. It's perfect for fans of Guardians of the Galaxy, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, and Space Team. Also available on Audible, narrated by Steve West.

    Combining his trademark humor with an acute eye for the ridiculous, Mark admits his part in bands like The Berlin Airlift, the life-changing punk revolution in Bob Sleigh and The Crestas, and even a flirtation with thirty-something pub rock. Interwoven with the musical disasters is the appealing rites-of-passage story of a middle-class grammar school boy who finally leaves Bolton for university. Splattered with memorable episodes and Viz-like characters, Showbusiness retraces the steps that should have led Mark to headlining Wembley Arena, but which took him to Radio 1 instead.

    In this first volume of his misadventures, Gussett sets his sights on the most prestigious prize in golf, the petrified middle finger of St. Andrew, patron saint of Scotland. Presiding over the world's most cantankerous golf club, Gussett must motivate his members through battles with incontinence, single malt Scotch, and a litany of other unmentionable afflictions in a friendly competition with their ancient rivals, the notorious McGregor clan. Anyone who loves the game or knows someone who does will be unable to resist Feherty's hilarious storytelling and golfing gravitas.

    In this parody of the famous children's book We're Going on a Bear Hunt, two parents set off for a night on the tiles, and encounter a series of watering holes and bars before an alarming encounter with a 'bear' sends them running home to their children.Gillian Johnson is the author and illustrator of the successful Monster Hospital and Thora series for children. Her illustrations bring this story to life, gently parodying the original but adding an anarchic edge as the evening progresses.We're not going on a bar hunt again!