Even worse is the holiday-themed hell of Santa's Village that looms right in front of the sports store he manages. It's yet another hurdle for Cal as he tries to survive the world of retail during the soul-sucking holiday season… until he catches a glimpse of one of Santa's elves and becomes infatuated with the cheery, gorgeous guy dressed in candy-cane tights.Of course, just walking up to the guy and asking him out isn't easy, and a botched attempt at matchmaking ends up turning a simple courtship into a mess for the gossip page. What can Cal do to overcome his social ineptitude, correct erroneous assumptions, and maybe have a merry little Christmas of his own?

    61 pages of summaries and analysis on Me Talk Pretty One Day by David Sedaris.This study guide includes the following sections: Plot Summary, Chapter Summaries & Analysis, Characters, Objects/Places, Themes, Style, Quotes, and Topics for Discussion.

    Through classic comics, blog entries, and a wealth of other wacky new material, experience Jon’s dating disasters, phone call faux pas, wardrobe malfunctions, and mirthful mishaps—and cheer the geek with a heart of gold as he finally finds true love with Liz, the veterinarian. (Who’d have thunk it?) So, rejoice, Jon fans, and enjoy the fun. The moment of goof has arrived!

    Born from light and moisture, they have expanded along with galaxies and other cosmic goo. They only die from the destruction of worlds, absence of moisture or the long loss of light. Many are ancient, being nearly as old as the universe itself. Others are young, only born moments ago. All are beautiful, although many beings in the universe think them to be evil bearers of bad tidings and illness. This is the story of one rainbow, neither ancient nor young . . .

    Delve deep into the mind of these creatures and learn what makes them tick.

    He's 23 years old, he's in a rockband, he's "between jobs" and he's dating a cute high school girl. Nothing could possibly go wrong, unless a seriously mind-blowing, dangerously fashionable, rollerblading delivery girl named Ramona Flowers starts cruising through his dreams and sailing by him at parties. Will Scott's awesome life get turned upside-down? Will he have to face Ramona's seven evil ex-boyfriends in battle? The short answer is yes. The long answer is Scott Pilgrim, Volume 1: Scott Pilgrim's Precious Little Life

    But the calm doesn’t last as Alex is suddenly accosted by a giant living coin from the not so distant future.In this horrific future where Britain has left the EU, four story buses lie strewn about the streets of London after a failed plan to cut costs, the Queen’s Guard have been replaced by flying reptiles with machine guns and the River Thames runs red with molten lava.Now Alex and his handsome sentient pound must travel back to the past and sway the vote for European solidarity, by proving that all you need is love.This erotic tale is 4,200 words of sizzling human on monetary unit action, including anal, blowjobs, rough sex, cream pies and living pound love.

    The Onion Ad Nauseam: Complete News Archives, Volume 14 collects every article that The Onion published between November 2001 and October 2002, including opinion pieces, horoscopes, and your favorite columns from all of the Onion regulars.The Onion Ad Nauseam: Complete News Archives, Volume 14 is packed with material no longer available online or anywhere else. Look for a new volume every year.

    In the past three hours, he’s been attacked by Lord of the Rings lookalikes, saved by his hot but weird next-door neighbor, threatened with a pair of Manolos, and been told he has to move out of his house.Oh, and he has to leave this dimension, too. So there’s that.His neighbor, Soren Greenfield, is not only a gardening fanatic and an avid swimmer, but a guardian — a member of a fierce, loyal league of warriors who have sworn their lives to protect the keys. Unfortunately for Danny, he’s a key, and he possesses a well of magic that can be tapped and manipulated by sorcerers. Soren’s job is to protect Danny from sorcerers, and now that a particularly powerful one (code name: Doctor Doom) has set his sights on Danny (a geeky geology major with inferiority issues, no combat skills, and a smart mouth), Soren is probably going to regret that oath he took to give his life in exchange for Danny’s.Together with Danny’s black belt best friend Malia Hesse, they escape to Lohrfast, Danny’s birthplace and Soren’s home, in order to ensure Danny’s safety. Arriving at White Oak, one of the League’s training camps, should be the end of their travel, but there are dangers within the League as well, and when Danny, Soren, and Malia are forced to make a desperate journey to the League’s largest stronghold, Soren’s secrets catch up with them.This story was written as a part of the M/M Romance Group's "Love Has No Boundaries" event. Group members were asked to write a story prompt inspired by a photo of their choice. Authors of the group selected a photo and prompt that spoke to them and wrote a short story.

    If you aren't following the Omega Auction Chronicles, you won't enjoy the story. If you have been following our story, here we go! With Solstice Eve fast approaching, the shifter packs are eagerly preparing for the holiday. Then, on Solstice Eve, a spur-of-the-moment wish sets in motion a series of events that ends in laughter, tears, and the Blood Valley Alpha and Omega finally learning an elusive truth: how does their blind daughter manage to see the world around her?

    Computer pioneer Alan Turing and the Beat author William Burroughs connect in Tangier and begin a love affair. The novel fuses SF themes with beatnik styles and attitudes, switching between Turing's and Burroughs's points of view.Turing and Burroughs find a way to shapeshift into telepathic slugs, and society's reaction serves as a symbol of the 1950s horror of gays, artists, intellectuals and political outsiders.As our heroes flee the feds, the story becomes a road novel. In traditional 1950s SF style, they head for a nuclear test site in Los Alamos, New Mexico. En route, Turing and Burroughs visit Mexico City and have a heavy encounter with Burroughs's murdered wife.The story comes to a head with a thermonuclear blast and a final transcendence.

    Could you keep your cool while talking to all levels of stupid? Would you be able to wear a headset all day without wanting to throw it out of the window? All calls are recorded, analysed and timed to the second. Average handling time (AHT) is discussed as if it's the very meaning of life and managers are always coming up with new ways to shave milliseconds from each call. Is it acceptable to only have a total eight minutes a day for visits to the toilet or coffee machine? Imagine not being allowed to hang up on someone who is screaming abuse down the line at you. Welcome to the Call Centre! Izabelle worked in call centres for many years; from insurance to home shopping, from selling advertising to discussing loans. Finally in the early hours one morning, she decided enough was in fact far too much and left her final call centre job the same day, never to return. On her way out of the door for the final time she vowed she would write a book about life in a call centre. Here is that book. Read about call centres in general, memorable customers and staff. How do staff stay sane? What is Big Red? Are cranberries the true meaning of Christmas? Why would you have leather trousers round your ankles in a lift? How not to impress your boss. Izabelle shares these and many other true tales from her years of incarceration in UK call centres.

    Purchase includes a free trial membership in the publisher's book club where you can select from more than a million books without charge. Chapters: First Among Sequels, the Eyre Affair, Lost in a Good Book, the Well of Lost Plots, Something Rotten, the Big Over Easy, the Fourth Bear, Shades of Grey 1: the Road to High Saffron. Source: Wikipedia. Free updates online. Not illustrated. Excerpt: First Among Sequels is an alternate history, comic fantasy novel by the British author Jasper Fforde. It is the fifth Thursday Next novel, first published on 5 July 2007 in the UK, and on 24 July 2007 in the USA. The novel follows the continuing adventures of Thursday Next in her fictional version of Swindon and in the BookWorld, and is the first of a new four-part Nextian series. The title was originally announced, at the end of Fforde's novel The Fourth Bear, as The War of the Words. In order to save the future, undercover SpecOps investigator Thursday Next attempts to convince her son Friday to join the ChronoGuard. To complicate matters, she'll have to deal with renegade apprentices, ruthless corporations, and a sting operation from the Cheese Enforcement Agency. The title First Among Sequels was met with stiff resistance from Fforde's publishers because it had 'sequel' in the title, and it was felt that telegraphing the 'sequelness' of the book might be a bad move. It was decided, however, to capitalise on the fact that this was a series - a sort of 'Have you discovered Thursday Next yet?' approach to marketing. First Among Sequels is the first part of a new four-part Thursday Next series, which is reported to be continued with One of our Thursdays is Missing in 2009. The title is a parody of First Among Equals, which is the title of a best-selling Jeffrey Archer novel, but also comes from the English translation of the Latin phrase primus inter pares. It is traditionally used to describe the position...More: http: //booksllc.net/?id=602795

    Adventure. Babies! The Darkvale Dragons series is an mpreg paranormal shifter series about fated mates, epic adventures, and love that overcomes all obstacles. This 600+ page box set includes three full books and an exclusive sneak preview of book 4 in the series! Each book has been lovingly re-edited and re-formatted. Strap in for three scorching tales of family, mates, and magic. Included: The Dragon's Runaway Omega -- An exiled dragon shifter rescues a young omega from being sacrificed...but as their relationship grows, who's saving who? The Dragon's Second Chance Omega -- Secret Baby! Second Chance! Marlowe thought he'd lost his mate forever, but when he finds his omega five years later with a kid in tow, can love bloom once more? The Dragon's Forbidden Omega -- May/December, Teacher/Student. Ansel returns from the Academy to find that his clan is at war, and his longtime mentor smells mysteriously like his mate... Sneak Peek of Book 4 -- You'll have to read it to find out ;) Each book is intended for 18+ audiences and is filled with all the things you crave: smoking-hot shifters, mpreg, knotting, and of course, adorable children. The series takes place in a rich fantasy world torn by battle. If you're looking for a series filled with lust, danger, and spice, you've come to the right place.

    That's right, Mallory is dreaming about Santa Claus, and it's giving her the willies. Everyone loves Santa! What can it possibly mean that the cheerful big guy makes her fangs chatter? Click to find out whether Mallory's strange new Santa-phobia takes all the happy out of her holiday.