Kevin Murphy made it his obsession, and he did it for you.Mr. Murphy, known to legions of fans as Tom Servo on the legendary TV series Mystery Science Theater 3000, went to the movies every day for a year. That's every single day, people. For a whole fricken' year. And not only did he endure, he prevailed -- for this is the hilarious, poignant, fascinating journal of his adventures: the first book about the movies from the audience's point of view.Kevin went to the multiplex, sure. But he didn't stop there. He found the world's smallest commercial movie theater. Another one made completely of ice. Checked out flicks in a tin-roofed hut in the South Pacific. Tooled across the desert from drive-in to drive-in in a groovy convertible. Lived for a week solely on theater food. Took six different women to the same date movie. Dressed up as a nun for the Sing-Along Sound of Music in London. Sneaked into the Cannes and Sundance film festivals. Smuggled an entire Thanksgiving dinner into a movie theater. And saw hundreds of films, from the Arctic Circle to the Equator, from the sublime to the unspeakable. Come along on a joyous global celebration of the cinema with a man on a mission -- to spend A Year at the Movies.

    What do Postman Pat, Tommy Cooper, Norman Wisdom and George Best have in common with being abandoned in a Costa Rican jungle after a severe bout of flatulence? Indeed, how are they also connected to trying to buy an Australian brewery just to get a beer, owning twenty-two cars, an American soccer team and a Swiss mail-order pornography company?The common feature is of course a certain Richard Wakeman.The Further Adventures of a Grumpy Old Rock Star takes you, the privileged reader, on a trip of absurd excess, a cultural car crash of side-splitting hilarity and an unforgettable glimpse (again) into the life of one of Britain's most legendary showmen, rock stars and all-time great raconteurs.

    It contains more than sixty recipes for beginner cooks and noobs alike, in addition to hundreds of paragraphs and sentences, as well as photos and drawings.You'll learn to cook with unintimidating ingredients in dishes like Broccoli Cheddar Quiche Cupcake Muffin-Type Things, Eddie's Roasted Red Pepper Dip (while also learning all about Eddie's sad, sad life), Jalape�o Chicken, and also other stuff. In addition, there are cooking tips that can be applied not only to the very recipes in this book, but also to recipes outside of this book, and to all other areas of your life (with mixed results).In the end, you just might suck slightly less at cooking.**Results not guaranteed

    From school run to bedtime, Rachel has suggestions that even the fussiest eater will love. Treat your loved-ones to nourishing, delicious food with this indispensable, inspirational recipe collection full of wise words, clever hints and tips and, above all, Rachel's irresistible recipes.CHAPTER BREAKDOWN– Breakfast & Brunch– Lunch– Sunday Lunch– Supper– Snacks and treats– Baby Food– Desserts– Sweets– Basics– Plus handy sections explaining meal planning, home freezing, healthy eating and much more!Rachel Allen was brought up in Dublin and at the age of eighteen left to study at the prestigious Ballymaloe Cookery School. Today, she not only teaches at the school, she also writes regular features for national publications, presents highly acclaimed television programmes which have been broadcast internationally and in her spare time authors bestselling cookery books.

    He has played to sold-out venues across North America, Europe, South Africa and Australia. He has sold more than six million DVDs, Forbes has ranked him in their Celebrity 100 list of most powerful entertainers for two years running, and he has been the top touring comedian in the United States for the last two years. Whether he's breathing life into an old curmudgeon, an over- caffeinated purple maniac, or a screaming, skeletal, dead terrorist, Jeff Dunham is the straight man to some of the funniest partners in show business. All by My Selves is the story of one pretty ordinary guy, one interesting hobby, one very understanding set of parents, and a long and winding rode to becoming America's favorite comedian. With wit, honesty, and lots of great show business detail, Jeff shares all the major moments in his journey. From the toy dummy he spotted at a toy store when he was 8 years old to playing to arenas filled with screaming fans, Jeff takes readers behind the curtain to explain how he turned an old fashioned art form into something truly modern and hip. Best of all, Jeff's story is accompanied by asides and interruptions from his characters-who share all the hilarious details Jeff himself is too embarrassed to include.

    Refusing to recognize that the harried household cannot meet her standards of propriety--especially since all households are now harried--Miss Manners explains how this is done.Whether your family is nuclear, blended, extended, or unrelated; whether you are single, divorced, living together, or married; at a family dinner or dinner party; engaged in combat with the neighbors or with the relatives--there is simply no substitute for the core of civility that must reside at the heart of every house, condo or apartment if it is truly to be a home.Miss Manners is prepared to sweep through your house and get rid of those lurking traces of rudeness that you were pretending not to notice.You know you are not going to be able to enjoy a pleasant and peaceful household until these few chores are done.Table of ContentsChapter One--The PeopleAllotting due space and respect to parents, children, roommates, relatives--and whoever thoseother people are whom one of them must have brought homeChapter Two--The PlaceMaking use of the rooms instead of turning them into a mess or a museum, while everybody huddles upstairsChapter Three--The RulesNegotiating compromises without having to leave home for Domestic Dispute CourtChapter Four--The SystemKeeping track of where everybody is, where they are supposed to be, and what they are supposed to be doing (if they remember)Chapter Five--The HelpGetting the housework done when you can't complain about the Servant Problem--because theservants are you and the people in the phone book who may be there sometime todayChapter Six--The VisitorsOffering hospitality without surrendering your privacy or your resources to the thanklessChapter Seven--Entertaining: The Social ContractReviving the art of not-for-profit entertaining to make friends who will love you for yourselfChapter Eight--Entertaining: The Social EventLearning to give a variety of parties, formal and informal--because it beats staying home alone watching TVChapter Nine--Entertaining: The RelativesKindling warm memories rather than heated conflict at family occasionsChapter Ten--The CommunityBeing pleasant enough to the neighbors so you're not afraid to walk out your own front doorFrom the Hardcover edition.

    You'll find no tongue-tempting treats within -- unless, of course, you consider Boiled Cow Elbow with Plaid Sauce to be your idea of a tasty meal. No, The Gallery of Regrettable Food is a public service. Learn to identify these dishes. Learn to regard shivering liver molds with suspicion. Learn why curries are a Communist plot to undermine decent, honest American spices. Learn to heed the advice of stern, fictional nutritionists. If you see any of these dishes, please alert the authorities.Now, the good news: laboratory tests prove that The Gallery of Regrettable Food AMUSES as well as informs. Four out of five doctors recommend this book for its GENEROUS PORTIONS OF HILARITY and ghastly pictures from RETRO COOKBOOKS. You too will look at these products of post-war cuisine and ask: "WHAT WERE THEY THINKING?" It's an affectionate look at the days when starch ruled, pepper was a dangerous spice, and Stuffed Meat with Meat Sauce was considered health food.Bon appetit!The Gallery of Regrettable Food is a simple introduction to poorly photographed foodstuffs and horrid recipes from the Golden Age of Salt and Starch. It's a wonder anyone in the 1940s, '50s, and '60s gained any weight. It isn't that the food was inedible; it was merely dull. Everything was geared toward a timid palate fearful of spice. It wasn't nonnutritious -- no, between the limp boiled vegetables, fat-choked meat cylinders, and pink whipped Jell-O desserts, you were bound to find a few calories that would drag you into the next day. It's just that the pictures are so hideously unappealing.Author James Lileks has made it his life's work to unearth the worst recipes and food photography from that bygone era and assemble them with hilarious, acerbic commentary: "This is not meat. This is something they scraped out of the air filter from the engines of the Exxon Valdez." It all started when he went home to Fargo and found an ancient recipe book in his mom's cupboard: Specialties of the House, from the North Dakota State Wheat Commission. He never looked back. Now, they're not really recipe books. They're ads for food companies, with every recipe using the company's products, often in unexpected and horrifying ways. There's not a single appetizing dish in the entire collection.The pictures in the book are ghastly -- the Italian dishes look like a surgeon had a sneezing fit during an operation, and the queasy casseroles look like something on which the janitor dumps sawdust. But you have to enjoy the spirit behind the books -- cheerful postwar perfect housewifery, and folks with the guts to undertake such culinary experiments as stuffing cabbage with hamburger, creating the perfect tongue mousse when you have the fellas over for a pregame nosh, or, best of all, baking peppers with a creamy marshmallow sauce. Alas, too many of these dishes bring back scary childhood memories.

    Too on the nose? Sorry. Let me dial it back.  I’m Mike Birbiglia and I’m a comedian. You may know me from Comedy Central or This American Life or The Bob & Tom Show, but you’ve never seen me like this before. Naked. Wait, that’s the name of another book. Also I’m not naked as there are no pictures in my book. Also, if there were naked pictures of me, you definitely wouldn’t buy it, though you might sneak a copy into the back corner of the bookstore and show it to your friend and laugh. Okay, let’s get off the naked stuff. This is my first book. It’s difficult to describe. It’s a comedic memoir, but I’m only 32 years old so I’d hate for you to think I’m “wrapping it up,” so to speak. But I tell some personal stories. Some REALLY personal stories. Stories that I considered not publishing time and time again, especially when my father said, “Michael, you might want to stay away from the per­sonal stuff.” I said, “Dad, just read the dedication.” (Which I’m telling you to do too.) Some of the stories are about my childhood, some are about girls I made out with when I was thirteen, some are about my parents, and some are, of course, about my bouts with sleepwalking. Bring this book to bed. And sleepwalk with me.

    Then you’ll know everything. It’s a cookbook,” he says and opens to some recipes, with color photos. “I want to prepare you, very much.” This isn’t just about getting me hot till my juices run clear, and then a little rest. There’s pulling, jerking, stuffing, trussing. Fifty preparations. He promises we’ll start out slow, with wine and a good oiling . . . Holy crap. “I will control everything that happens here,” he says. “You can leave anytime, but as long as you stay, you’re my ingredient.” I’ll be transformed from a raw, organic bird into something—what? Something delicious.  So begins the adventures of Miss Chicken, a young free-range, from raw innocence to golden brown ecstasy, in this spoof-in-a-cookbook that simmers in the afterglow of E.L. James’s sensational Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy. Like Anastasia Steele, Miss Chicken finds herself at the mercy of a dominating man, in this case, a wealthy, sexy, and very hungry chef.  And before long, from unbearably slow drizzling to trussing, Miss Chicken discovers the sheer thrill of becoming the main course. A parody in three acts—“The Novice Bird” (easy recipes for roasters), “Falling to Pieces” (parts perfect for weeknight meals), and “Advanced Techniques” (the climax of cooking)—Fifty Shades of Chicken is a cookbook of fifty irresistible, repertoire-boosting chicken dishes that will leave you hungry for more.With memorable tips and revealing photographs, Fifty Shades of Chicken will have you dominating dinner.

    With alphabet charts and easy-to-follow instructions for every design,  Subversive Cross Stitch: 50 F*cking Clever Designs For Your Sassy Side  includes everything you need to get your craft on from the original instigator of subversive stitching.

    Illustrated with line drawings.

    With biting wit, bracing satire, and boundless good cheer, Mary Jo-distinguished member of the First Family of Circle Pines, Minnesota; she'll explain-takes you on a poignant, hilarious journey through the world of keepin' on. Dispatched from her Midwestern home state, then New York, Texas, and exotic points beyond, these very personal stories and essays, with illustrations by Len Peralta, reveal a warm, smart, funny writer who can spot the absurdities in what she deals with every day, and make her readers LOL at them. There's nobody else like Mary Jo Pehl. But then, there's nobody else like you, either. Hey, you two should get together! Read this book, and you will, my friend: you will.

    You would never think of me as someone with the courage to say, 'You have everything you need to be fantastic in your own house, apartment, or trailer to set a great table.'Let's face it, you look at a lot of books on Entertaining and think 'I could never do this in my house, I don't have this stuff and it's not going to look like what I'm seeing.' That's not what's going to happen here! I want to show you there is great heart in setting the table. For two or four or the kids or Halloween or tea just for you. For dinners with friends or the holidays. I'm going to tell you stories about what I do when people come over and give you ideas about what you're seeing because Honey, everything in this book is what you can do in your house.You got a bodega or a 7-Eleven near you? They sell flowers. Take those bad boys and put them on your table. You got some crazy old plate from your grandmother (or a fancy silver one)? You got little kids' toys that have been annoying you forever, put them on the table too. Who's going to tell you it's wrong? Not me! I'm going to tell you it's right and I'm going to take you on a journey. And don't forget the bathroom; decorate it too, people are going to see it. It's all at your house. Come with me. I'll show you!P.S. I know the glass on the cover is broken. Accidents happen!

    F. K. Fisher’s life in California, Provence, Mexico and Switzerland. These engaging recipes, "a perfect combination of superstition, instinct, and primitive knowledge" deal with commonplace ailments—sore throats, cures for cats, aging skin, fevers, PMS and hangovers. Ingredients of these extraordinary receipts are transformed into cures and preventatives told in the inimitable style of this master of the finely observed life.

    Rude Bitches Make Me Tired will provide answers to all your mannerly questions as Celia discusses the social conundrums of our day and age, including:Navigating the agonies of check splitting ("Who had the gorgonzola crumbles and should we really care?")The baffling aspects of airline travel (such as "Recline Monster" and other animals)The art of the visit (always leave them wanting more . . . much more)Gym and locker etiquette (hint: no one wants to talk to you while you're buck naked)Office manners ("Loud talkers, cake hawkers, and Britney Sue's unfortunate cyst")And much more!Good manners have never been so wickedly funny!