It's teeming with savages, thugs, angry toddlers, and disgruntled clowns. And every one of them is secretly mulling a scenario that ends with them kicking you square in the junk. What do you do if you want to take on The Batman and live to brag about it to your kids? What do you do if a rabid alligator picks a fight with your little sister? What do you do if the beloved star of "Forrest Gump" tells you to "shut the hell up" in front of a huge crowd?You read this book. It offers simple, effective instructions for beating up zombies, robots, co-workers—anything. The only limits are your imagination... and your habit of not following through on things, and possibly your uncoordinated, at times comically frail body.

    Bruce Cameron, author of The Midnight Plan of the Repo Man"A smart mix of humor and humanity... An energy drink for the funny bone." --Jane Wagner, author of The Search for Signs of Intelligent Life in the UniverseBrad Fingerman was an art director in the glamorous world of New York advertising. He had the respect of his peers, a beautiful wife, and a bright future. That is, his future was bright before he spectacularly nuked his career, discovered his wife's infidelity, and witnessed a high-profile Mafia hit in a Midtown elevator. Now Brad's unemployed, divorced, and the government's key witness in a major murder trial.

    . . Kipner writes beautifully, is emotionally intelligent and has a keen eye for detail - the more absurd the better. The result is a different, occasionally deranged and always very clever read. I loved every minute.' Daily MailMeet Tabitha Gray, a delusional girl from Topanga, California, who redefines what it means to be a truly hopeless romantic. Tabby suffers from an aggressive strain of cock-eyed optimism – no amount of failure, embarrassment or humiliation can dent her fierce belief that real, true, lasting love is just around the corner.Where most people think, fantasize and dream, Tabby says, feels and does. Whether waiting in her lingerie for Harrison Ford to open the door of his hotel room; declaring her love, aged nine, for Ernesto the gardener; encountering Al Pacino in a Russian bathhouse; seeking passion with a blind man on the advice of a wise old woman with dementia at her grandmother’s home for the elderly; or sending intimate photos to a random sexter with an apparently charming dick, Tabby refuses to be crushed by her many misadventures. She has to keep believing, because if she gives up, what then? Ill-advisedly armed with the words of Dorothy Parker, Tabby knows that her own ferocious optimism is the only thing keeping her heart-sore, wine-swilling mother and cynical, single-mum sister from giving up on love altogether. She is their only hope. If Tabby can find love, then they too will believe…In this warmly witty debut novel, Sophie Kipner takes a satirical look at the extremity of romantic desperation, and pays wry tribute to the deep human need to keep on heroically searching for love despite our manifold absurdities.

    Sarah, a beautiful, successful lawyer, wants nothing more than to have a baby. But balancing IVF treatments with a grueling eighty-hour workweek is no walk in the park. Meanwhile, Annie, a Harvard-grad chemist recently transplanted to Southern California, is cutting coupons to afford her young autistic son’s expensive therapy.Desperate, the two friends come up with a brilliant plan: they’ll combine Sarah’s looks and Annie’s brains to sell a “luxury” antiaging face cream to the wealthy, fading beauties in Annie’s La Jolla book club. The scheme seems innocent enough, until Annie decides to add a special—and oh-so-illegal—ingredient that could bring their whole operation crashing to the ground.Hilarious, intelligent, and warm, Crimes Against a Book Club is a delightful look at the lengths women will go to fend for their families and for one another.

    Gabriel Kane goes from a struggling architect to one of the most powerful men in the world; Armonía Solorsano -- a young Hispanic girl who grew up in a dilapidated suburban McMansion-turned-tenement -- invents one of the most important and influential pieces of technology in history; a non-profit organization goes from a charity to a decentralized domestic terrorist group; and the greatest democracy in the world finds itself falling into the ever-tightening grip of a dictator.As five people come together with the shared goal of changing the world, they discover that their approaches are fundamentally and irreconcilably at odds. Their partnership becomes a bitter political and high-tech rivalry from which only one of them can emerge.This novella by Christian Cantrell (about 16,000 words) portrays an intersection of politics and technology which is both extremely relevant, and frighteningly feasible.

    Traver recounts the story of a mysterious "dancing fly, " speaks pointedly about "kiss-and-tell" fishermen, debunks fly fishermen as the "world's greatest snobs, " lets us in on the fishing story Life missed, and takes us along on his strangest fishing trip. We meet the unforgettable Danny McGinnis, guide, and other choice characters and events from his anything-but-ordinary fishing trips. Traver even has some new angles on women anglers and does a free piece of tongue-in-cheek literary sleuthing into Ernest Hemingway's story "Big Two-Hearted River."There's enough trout magic here to rub off on every reader -- man, woman, or child -- as Robert Traver weaves his inimitable storytelling spell. Trout Magic is a marvelous catch of wit, wisdom, and anecdote sure to delight everyone who enjoys a master storyteller who just happens to write here about his wonderful world of trout fishing.

    Complete with awkward, “what was he thinking?” photos—unmitigated proof of Mulgrew’s ungainly adolescence—236 Pounds of Class Vice President is an no-holds-barred yet tender look at the years some of us would rather forget.

    When this guy is David Sedaris, the possibilities are endless, but the result is always the same: he will both delight you with twists of humor and intelligence and leave you deeply moved. Sedaris remembers his father's dinnertime attire (shirtsleeves and underpants), his first colonoscopy (remarkably pleasant), and the time he considered buying the skeleton of a murdered Pygmy. With Let's Explore Diabetes with Owls, David Sedaris shows once again why his work has been called "hilarious, elegant, and surprisingly moving" (Washington Post).

    Whether he's dropping into the lives of two teachers―and their love lost and found―in "Nine Inches", documenting the unraveling of a dad at a Little League game in "The Smile on Happy Chang's Face", or gently marking the points of connection between an old woman and a benched high school football player in "Senior Season", Perrotta writes with a sure sense of his characters and their secret longings.Nine Inches contains an elegant collection of short fiction: stories that are as assured in their depictions of characters young and old, established and unsure, as any written today.

    What’s the man to do? Leave the bathroom and say nothing on the matter? Or, take matters into his own hands?THE MEANTIME STORIES is a funny short read series that draws inspiration from Terry Pratchett, Monty Python, and Douglas Adams, all combined with a twist of Nordic Noir (human folly, abrupt and plentiful deaths, snappy dialogue, quirky deep thoughts, and absurd outcomes). It’s glittering darkness, and clouded light.Each story is a stand-alone, ready to be enjoyed when you yearn for 30 minutes of wacky, brainy, and laugh-out-loud entertainment. Longing for surprises, unexpected twists, and silliness with an edge? Look no further, because in the Meantime, anything can happen!

    

    . .SEASON'S KISSESWild child Chloe Thompson can't believe how much things have changed. She still can't get enough of her sexy husband Sawyer, but he seems to prefer working to thinking about impending fatherhood. So tonight, a very pregnant Chloe is escaping her troubles at the town Christmas party.Sheriff Sawyer Thompson hopes surprising Chloe at the party will give him a chance to set things right. But as the snow begins to fall and the wind rages, he wonders whether he can make it back in time. While mother nature conspires to keep Sawyer and Chloe apart, an unexpected arrival will require them to kiss and make up . . . and ring in the happiest holiday Lucky Harbor has ever seen. 13,000 words

    In a profoundly strange country called Inner Horner, large enough for only one resident at a time, citizens waiting to enter the country fall under the rule of the power-hungry and tyrannical Phil, setting off a chain of injustice and mass hysteria.An Animal Farm for the 21st century, this is an incendiary political satire of unprecedented imagination, spiky humor, and cautionary appreciation for the hysteric in everyone.

    But now happily in love and partners in crime once more, it feels like it’s all been worth it.But when a face from the past reappears, misunderstandings come between them once more.Can they hold on to their happy ever after?

    Anyway they didn't get me. I attended to varicous schools in Liddypol. And still didn't pass—much to my Aunties supplies. As a member of the most publified Beatles my and (P, G, and R's) records might seem funnier to some of you than this book, but as far as I'm conceived this correction of short writty is the most wonderfoul larf I've ever ready. God help and breed you all.