Stop Walking on Eggshells: Taking Your Life Back When Someone You Care about Has Borderline Personality Disorder


Paul T. Mason - 1998
    It is designed to help them understand how the disorder affects their loved ones and recognize what they can do to get off the emotional roller coasters and take care of themselves.

The Flight from Intimacy: Healing Your Relationship of Counter-dependence — The Other Side of Co-dependency


Janae B. Weinhold - 2008
    The Flight from Intimacy, by psychologists Janae and Barry Weinhold, reveals counter-dependency as the major barrier to creating intimate relationships. People with counter-dependent behaviors appear strong, secure, and successful on the outside, while on the inside they feel weak, fearful, insecure, and needy. They function well in the world of business but often struggle in intimate relationships. Being in a relationship with this kind of person can be extremely frustrating.The Flight from Intimacy shows readers how to recognize and cope with counter-dependent people. And if you recognize yourself in the description above, this book will help you learn how to change. It teaches readers how to use committed relationships to heal childhood wounds and provides proven ways to use conflicts as opportunities for creating intimate, partnership relationships.

Wired for Love: How Understanding Your Partner's Brain and Attachment Style Can Help You Defuse Conflict and Build a Secure Relationship


Stan Tatkin - 2012
    Every person is wired for love differently, with different habits, needs, and reactions to conflict. The good news is that most people's minds work in predictable ways and respond well to security, attachment, and rituals, making it possible to actually neurologically prime the brain for greater love and fewer conflicts.Wired for Love is a complete insider’s guide to understanding your partner’s brain and enjoying a romantic relationship built on love and trust. Synthesizing research findings on how and why love lasts drawn from neuroscience, attachment theory, and emotion regulation, this book presents ten guiding principles that can improve any relationship.Strengthen your relationship by:Creating and maintaining a safe “couple bubble” Using morning and evening rituals to stay connected Learning to fight so that nobody loses Becoming the expert on what makes your partner feel loved By learning to use simple gestures and words, readers can learn to put out emotional fires and help their partners feel more safe and secure. The no-fault view of conflict in this book encourages readers to move past a "warring brain" mentality and toward a more cooperative "loving brain" understanding of the relationship. This book is essential reading for couples and others interested in understanding the complex dynamics at work behind love and trust in intimate relationships.While there’s no doubt that love is an inexact science, if you can discover how you and your partner are wired differently, you can overcome your differences to create a lasting intimate connection.

Beginning to Heal


Ellen Bass - 1994
    Offering hope, support, and guidance through practical explanations and compelling first-person stories, the authors take readers through the stages of the healing process.

Love in Every Season: Understanding the Four Stages of Every Healthy Relationship


Debra K. Fileta - 2020
    But depending on how you navigate each season, your relationship will either strengthen and grow, or it will slowly begin to fade.    Maybe your relationship is in the first blooms of spring, when friendship takes root and attraction blossoms.   Maybe you’re in the season of summer, and things are starting to heat up—spiritually, emotionally, and physically.   Maybe you’re deep in fall, and your true colors are starting to shine through.   Or maybe you’re in winter, when the passion cools down and it would be all too easy to let the relationship freeze over.   Whether you’re single, dating, engaged or married, join author, counselor, and relationship expert Debra Fileta, creator of TrueLoveDates.com, as she takes you on an eye-opening psychological and spiritual journey through the four seasons of every healthy relationship. You’ll learn to…Recognize each season as it comes and navigate it with intention, focus, and practical steps.Avoid the pitfalls of each stage by preparing for the hard moments and seeing them as opportunities to grow and connect. Celebrate not just the magical moments of each season, but the day-to-day choices that pave the way for a lasting relationship.No matter what your relationship status, you’re invited on a journey to strengthen and grow your love in every season.

The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists


Neil Strauss - 2005
    And in these lairs, men trade the most devastatingly effective techniques ever invented to charm women. This is not fiction. These men really exist. They live together in houses known as Projects. And Neil Strauss, the bestselling author, spent two years living among them, using the pseudonym Style to protect his real-life identity. The result is one of the most explosive and controversial books of the year -- guaranteed to change the lives of men and transform the way women understand the opposite sex forever.On his journey from AFC (average frustrated chump) to PUA (pick-up artist) to PUG (pick-up guru), Strauss not only shares scores of original seduction techniques but also has unforgettable encounters with the likes of Tom Cruise, Britney Spears, Paris Hilton, Heidi Fleiss, and Courtney Love. And then things really start to get strange -- and passions lead to betrayals lead to violence. The Game is the story of one man's transformation from frog to prince -- to prisoner in the most unforgettable book of the year.

Allies in Healing: When the Person You Love Is a Survivor of Child Sexual Abuse


Laura Davis - 1991
    She shows couples how to deepen compassion, improve communication, and develop an understanding of healing as a shared activity. Addressing partners' most important questions, Allies in Healing covers:The Basics—answers common questions about sexual abuse. Allies in Healing—introduces key concepts of working and growing together. My Needs and Feelings—teaches partners to recognize, value, and express their own needs. Dealing with Crisis—includes strategies for handling suicidal feelings, regression, and hopelessness. Intimacy and Communication—offers practical advice on dealing with distancing, control, trust, and fighting. Sex—provides guidelines for coping with flashbacks, lack of desire, differences in sexual needs, and frustration. Family lssues—suggests a range of ideas for interacting with the survivor's family. Partners' Stories—explores the struggles, triumphs, and courage of eight partners.

Be Nice (Or Else!): and what's in it for you


Winn Claybaugh - 2004
    You work hard at so many things-getting ahead, being successful, and even feeling happy. As it turns out, being nice is the one to absolutely guarantee a life you love. Besides, being nice is easy, and the rewards are immeasurable.

Say Goodbye to Crazy: How to Get Rid of His Crazy Ex and Restore Sanity to Your Life


Tara Palmatier - 2015
    It will give you the answers you need to live a life free of chaos, anger and frustration. Say Goodbye to Crazy is one of the few books that addresses how to cope with a hostile, angry ex-wife whose destructive behavior is overlooked by the courts, the society and sometimes, even your own husband. It is a life-saver. Helen Smith, PhD, forensic psychologist and author of Men on Strike

How to Communicate Like a Buddhist


Cynthia Kane - 2016
    This is not by accident, as the Buddha taught what are called the four elements of right speech over 2,600 years ago.In this one-of-a-kind book, certified meditation and mindfulness instructor Cynthia Kane has taken the four elements of right speech and developed them into a modern practice based on mindful listening, mindful speech, and mindful silence.Beginning with an illuminating self-test to assess your current communication style, this book will take you through the author's own five-step practice that is designed to help you:Listen to yourself (your internal and external words)Listen to othersSpeak consciously, concisely, and clearlyRegard silence as a part of speechMeditate to enhance your communication skillsIf you have ever felt misheard, have trouble stating how you feel, or long to have more meaningful and genuine conversations, this book can help. The simple steps outlined in this book will have a huge effect on how you communicate with others and yourself.Communication is essential to being human, and when you become better at it, your personal truth becomes clearer, your relationships improve, and the result is that you experience more peace and harmony in your life.Fans of Thich Nhat Hanh will appreciate the simple, clear instructions for how to transform everyday communication into "right speech."This book will enhance the experience of those who love The Work of Byron Katie, the principles of the Non Violent Communication Movement, and even the popular Buddhist Bootcamp.This book is not intended to be a comprehensive study of Buddhist thought. Instead, it offers an entry point for modern people who are tired of getting into constant stress because of ineffective communication with family members, co-workers, superiors, and other important relationships.

Why Is It Always About You? : The Seven Deadly Sins of Narcissism


Sandy Hotchkiss - 2002
    Exploring how individuals come to have this shortcoming, why you get drawn into their perilous orbit, and what you can do to break free, Hotchkiss describes the "Seven Deadly Sins of Narcissism" and their origins. You will learn to recognize these hallmarks of unhealthy narcissism -- Shamelessness, Magical Thinking, Arrogance, Envy, Entitlement, Exploitation, Bad Boundaries -- and to understand the roles that parenting and culture play in their creation. Whether the narcissist in question is a coworker, spouse, parent, or child, Why Is It Always About You? provides abundant practical advice for anyone struggling to break narcissism's insidious spread to the next generation, and for anyone who encounters narcissists in everyday life.

Get Your Loved One Sober: Alternatives to Nagging, Pleading, and Threatening


Robert J. Meyers - 2003
    Robert Meyers spent ten years developing a treatment program that helps Concerned Significant Others (CSOs) both improve the quality of their lives and to learn how to make treatment an attractive option for their partners who are substance abusers. Get Your Loved One Sober describes this multi-faceted program that uses supportive, non-confrontational methods to engage substance abusers into treatment. Called Community Reinforcement and Family Training (CRAFT), the program uses scientifically validated behavioral principles to reduce the loved one's substance use and to encourage him or her to seek treatment. Equally important, CRAFT also helps loved ones reduce personal stress and introduce meaningful, new sources of satisfaction into their life. Key Features CRAFT is more effective than other types of interventions. This breakthrough new system is sweeping the recovery field. This is its first introduction to the general public. Contains simple exercises readers can practice at their own pace, with no costly or heart-breaking interventions. Proven successful for numerous addictions, not just alcoholism. Author Highlights Robert J. Meyers, Ph.D., is an Associate Professor of Psychology at the University of New Mexico. He is also the Associate Director of the Clinical Research Branch of the Center on Alcoholism Substance Abuse and Addictions (CASAA). CASAA is internationally known for its excellence in substance abuse research and treatment development. Dr. Meyers has workedin the substance abuse field for over 27 years and has published several books and dozens of articles. Brenda L. Wolfe, Ph.D., is a Clinical Psychologist specializing in the treatment of Eating Disorders, Substance Abuse, and Post-Traumatic Stress. In addition to her busy private practice, Dr. Wolfe is involved in research collaborations at the University of New Mexico, serves as a corporate consultant for the development of psychologically based services, and is active in various professional organizations. Her books and articles have appeared in both the popular and professional press.

Dare to Connect: How to Create Confidence, Trust and Loving Relationships


Susan Jeffers - 1992
    Susan gives us the insights and tools we need to create a sense of belonging everywhere we go. This book is for everyone who has ever asked: Why do I feel so nervous when I walk into a room full of strangers? Why do I feel lonely, even though I'm surrounded by people? Why do I feel so alienated from my husband/wife/lover? Why is it so hard to approach the person I am most interested in meeting? With wisdom and humor, Susan Jeffers shows you how to enjoy the wonderful relationships you deserve.

The 9 Ways of Working: How to Use the Enneagram to Discover Your Natural Strengths and Work More Effectively


Michael J. Goldberg - 1999
    Each of the Enneagram's nine types has a distinct worldview which determines how they think, what they want, and why they act the way they do. You'll recognize the personality types of the people you work with---colleagues, clients, bosses---as well as your own. And you'll discover the most effective ways to work with these people: The Perfectionist gets things done right---regardless of the consequences. The Helper nurtures others' careers---and demands to be appreciated for it. The Producer works hard to succeed---but can burn out in overwork. The Connoisseur explores his or her creativity and deep feelings---but may get lost in them. The Sage craves data, theories and insight---but may forget the human element The Troubleshooter knows the secrets and who can be trusted---but can get mighty paranoid. The Visionary inspires with brilliant, fun, imaginative ideas---but leaves closure to others. The Top Dog exercises leadership---but may end up as a vengeful bully. The Mediator wants everybody working as a conflict-free team---but may forget his or her own goals.Drawing on twenty-five years of teaching and consulting, Michael Goldberg's rich descriptions catch the "aha!" of each style with insightful anecdotes and real-life stories. He shows how each style is likely to connect with or miss the others, what kind of leadership is right for certain situations, and how each style makes important decisions and gets work done. You'll see the special gifts and talents of each style, their limits and blind spots, and when they will shine and when they will wilt. The 9 Ways of Working is packed with practical tips and cautions for each style and for working with each style.

The Good Divorce


Constance Ahrons - 1900
    Dr. Ahrons shows couples how they can move beyond the confusing, even terrifying early stages of breakup and learn to deal with the transition from a nuclear to a "binuclear" family--one that spans two households and continues to meet the needs of children.The Good Divorce makes an important contribution to the ongoing "family values" debate by dispelling the myth that divorce inevitability leaves emotionally troubles children in its wake. It is a powerful tonic for the millions of divorcing and long-divorces parents who are tired of hearing only the damage reports. It will make us change the way we think about divorce and the way we divorce, reconfirming our commitment to children and families.