No Wonder I Take a Drink


Laura Marney - 2004
    The only good news is that Steven, her increasingly distant teenage son, is about to move back in with her. The bad news is that Bob, her ex-husband, wants the house. Trisha's mind is unexpectedly made up when she inherits a place in the Highlands. Having pictured a rural idyll, she finds rain, sheep, a jaywalking dog and kamikaze midges. And more rain. Her social life is so limited that she even contemplates joining the Inversnechty Mental Health Awareness Group just for the craic. Then three nurses on holiday leave from Saudi invite Trisha to a ceilidh. A night of whisky-fuelled high jinks with a frozen salmon ensues which leads to a significant encounter with Spider, the local Lothario, and a dramatic discovery that will change Trisha's future forever.

Texts from Dog II: The Dog Delusion


October Jones - 2013
    

Off the Reservation


Glen Merzer - 2014
    Congressman Evan Gorgoni of Bloomington, IN, has served eight terms in a dysfunctional Congress and reached his limits of frustration. A medical event brings on the epiphany that there is no point in continuing to serve. But his frank expression, on Meet the Press, of his rationale for ending his political career is met with the unbidden call that he seek the White House—an unlikely destination for a vegan Congressman with a disdain for political posturing. Featuring 20 vegan recipes and a solution to America’s Electoral College problem, Off the Reservation is an original take on the art of the possible. "Glen Merzer's Off the Reservation is as politically savvy and poetically literate a book as I have read in a long while. It is a completely gorgeous and rewarding experience."--Jason Alexander, Actor “The book is called Off the Reservation , but it’s 100% On The Money about how far removed political discourse has strayed from reality. With unparalleled wit and insight, Glen Merzer dispatches one Evan Gorgoni to go forth and speak the truth to a weary nation, and the result is one of the best reads I’ve had in years. I loved it!” —Ed Begley, Jr., Actor/Environmental Activist “I literally couldn’t put down this superbly-written book once I began to read. Why? Because Off the Reservation is wildly entertaining and deeply inspiring. And because I laughed out loud so many times I lost count. What a fabulous, powerful, meaningful book!” —John Robbins, author, Diet For A New America, and Co-founder, foodrevolution.org “ Off the Reservation is the best book I’ve ever read!” —Howard F. Lyman, author, Mad Cowboy “Glen Merzer’s Off the Off the Reservation is a masterpiece of wit and relevance. Twenty-first century America is portrayed here in the language of politics—an unlikely feat but a convincing one, thanks to Merzer’s keen eye for both straight facts and tortuous contradictions. Intelligent, relevant, up-to-date, and unwavering, Merzer’s fictional analysis gets to the heart and soul of American society today. I confidently predict that anyone who has the good fortune to read this book will treasure the experience.” —Philip Appleman, poet and novelist

Destiny of choice: Based on a true story


Mary Jordan - 2014
     The award-winning author Mary Jordan writes literacy narratives and articles since the early 1980s. Literature is her great love and she easily and with joy writes. Her narratives have been published since the 1990s. In 1994 she won a literature competition and her narratives were published in ‘High Club Magazine’. The idea for the novel “Destiny of choice” was born suddenly, when in her home a young girl found a home, who had experienced the horror of child flesh trade. Her confession and need of protection woke up in the author the will to tell this pathetic story and thus to express her empathy in her own way to stand against the global problem of human trafficking with women and children. The book has been published and found wide response. With it the author gained popularity. Ionna is a young girl with a restless soul. As a result of the physical violence she experienced at home, she ran away from her parents. Life outside is freedom, but it is filled with dangers and surprises. Will this beautiful young girl survive unharmed after the countless underwater reefs of the criminal world? Will she find love? Will she grow up? Will be emerge victorious in the harsh struggle for survival? She probably will, as long as she unerringly follows the path of her lucky star. Mary Jordan goes further in her own fight with the flesh trade. She has decided to donate 50 per cent of the royalties to diverse organisations, whose aim is the liquidation of the human trafficking. As a further goal, in front of her remains the creation of a foundation for child protection-victims of abuse. For her, basic care for the society now and forever has to remain as the protection of the child, the small and vulnerable, but so important for the future of the human race.

Last Christmas


Heide Goody - 2018
     A short story in the Oddjobs universe that tries to answer the age-old question: what Christmas present do you get for the demon who has everything?

Stories I'd Tell in Bars


Jen Lancaster - 2017
    Unapologetic. Older - but arguably not wiser - Lancaster gets back to basics in this hilarious essay collection about everything from taking community policing classes to accidentally getting stoned with her waiter after a fancy dinner. These are the tales she'd tell if she met you in a bar... if she weren't too lazy to put on pants and go to a bar. Offering advice ranging from how to remain happily married to a man who refuses to blow his damn nose already to not creating An Incident at the cheese counter during an attempt at Whole30, she's you, only louder. As she details the chaos that will surely ensue if she has to learn to operate one more television remote control, you'll want to settle in and pour yourself a tall one. Because what's more fun than hearing a friend share her favorite stories?

A Big Boy Did It and Ran Away


Christopher Brookmyre - 2001
    In both their cases, it was to be rock stars. Fifteen years later, their mid-thirties are bearing down fast, and just like everybody else, they're having to accept the less glamorous hands reality has dealt them. Nervous new father Ray takes refuge from his responsibilities by living a virtual existence in online games. People say he needs to grow up, but everybody has to find their own way of coping. For some it's affairs, for others it's the bottle, and for Simon it's serial murder, mass slaughter and professional assassination.

Everything is Perfect When You're a Liar


Kelly Oxford - 2012
    From her beginnings as a wunderkind producer of pirated stage productions for six-year-olds, through her spirited adventures watching self-satisfying monkeys, throwing up on Chinese food deliverymen, and stalking Leo DiCaprio, here are the goofy highs and horrifying lows of life as Kelly Oxford.

How To Have An Almost Perfect Marriage


Mrs. Stephen Fry - 2012
    

The Hungry Toilet


Jason Hall - 2012
    People are going missing and no one knows how or why. Your will meet some fantastic and hilarious characters on your way to solving the mystery. Includes the bonus story - Going on a Bat Hunt. The Hungry Toilet is a Top 10 Best Selling book with the author being described as the "New Roald Dahl of Rhyming." If your children enjoy Dr Seuss, Roald Dahl and David Walliams they will love this book too! Free to Amazon Prime Members Updated for all devices (Kindle, Paperwhite, Fire, HD, iPad & iPhone)

Pete, Drinker of Blood


Scott S. Phillips - 2012
    He’s also a vampire. He lives alone and avoids the other vampires in L.A., but Pete’s simple life goes haywire when he falls for Angie, the cute bartender at a Sunset Strip dive -- and when sinister vampire lord Carson Fitzgerald returns to claim his children, Pete learns that nothing's ever easy for a creature of the night.

The President of Vice: The Autobiography of Joe Biden


The Onion - 2013
    In this scandalous memoir, America's favorite politician discusses his early years, before he became ultimate wingman to the leader of the free world. For the first time ever “Diamond” Joe discusses the formative experiences of his life, including his childhood selling hooch in Scranton, his years cruising college campuses picking up co-eds in a Del Rio, the grade-A tang he plowed in the summer of '87, and his "sweet ass gig" as Senator of Delaware. Speaking of his own work, Vice President Biden says, "Amigo, you're just one click away from buying Uncle Joe's tell all autobiography. My sweetest guitar riffs, bustiest lays, wildest benders, and sexiest appropriation bills, it's all in there. You'll not only hear about me and my buddy Barack, but I guarantee you'll pick up some tricks that'll serve you well in the sack. Plus, I'm deep in the hole right now and really need the scratch."

Lighter Shades of Grey


Cassandra Parkin - 2012
    Why, specifically?”“I like to build things.”As of the time of writing, more than ten million copies of E L James’ “Fifty Shades of Grey” have been sold worldwide. Whether you find this notion inspiring or terrifying, there’s no escaping the fact that, as literary events go, “Fifty Shades of Grey” is at least...significant. And books that are...significant...deserve to be subjected to thorough critical and textual analysis. By taking it apart into teeny tiny small pieces and put those pieces under a spiteful and mean-spirited microscope, we may all just learn something about the elusive nature of the bestseller,“Lighter Shades of Grey” is a chapter-by-chapter dissection of “Fifty Shades of Grey”, cataloguing unusual leaps of logic, surprising deductions, exciting exchanges of dialogue, recurrent motifs and stand-out moments, that will allow you to better appreciate / enjoyably ruin for others the “Fifty Shades” experience. It also provides definitive answers to questions such as “How often does Ana say ’oh my’?”, “How often do people’s mouths fall open in surprise?” and “Is Christian Grey a diagnosable psychopath?”Building on the viral hit blog-entry, “Fifty Things That Annoy Me About Fifty Shades Of Grey”, “Lighter Shades of Grey” is the perfect snarky companion to this year’s most inexplicable blockbuster. (Approximately 31,000 words; 30 pictures)

If Pigs Could Fly (West Kensington Paranormal Detective Agency #1)


Jonny Nexus - 2015
    Doctor Ravinder Shah speaking. No case too weird, no problem too bizarre. Strangeness a speciality. How can I help you?” London Social Worker Rav Shah moonlights as a paranormal detective, aided by one of his clients and a Border Collie he rents by the hour. It was supposed to be a bit of fun: a search for truths out there; a quest for a life more interesting than the one that fate, destiny, and personal apathy had granted him. But then a case involving a Yorkshire farmer and a herd of flying pigs leads him into a world darker and more dangerous than he’d ever dreamed. The truth is indeed out there. And it’s got Rav square in its sights.

Confessions of a Chocoholic


Lynda Renham - 2013
    A right comedy of errors if ever there was one. If you're looking for her beauty secrets and fashion ideas you've come to the right place. Read of her intimate sex life, her secrets for staying young and how she keeps her man - just. A fly-on-the wall true account of the life of a romantic comedy novelist, written in her own words. It's all here, the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth. Publisher Note: We are not responsible for any of the advice given in this book. If you do not look like Lynda after reading this we cannot be held accountable. Warning: Tena Pads recommended while reading.