What time is the 3:00 parade? Why does a child need to be 40 inches tall to ride a roller coaster? What happens when the president of France gets lost inside Pirates of the Caribbean? A former employee, or "cast member", at Walt Disney World's Magic Kingdom answers these and other questions while sharing humorous stories about working inside the world's most popular theme park."Stories from a Theme Park Insider" takes you inside the park's famous tunnels and backstage for a look at how theme parks really work, and the funny moments and embarrassments that can happen when your work is someone else's vacation.

    In this book you will find the funniest 288 of them (with a few all-new funny pages squeezed in just because we couldn’t help ourselves). That’s page after page after page of laugh-out-loud dumb jokes, dumb jocks, toasts, pranks, kings, kittens, caboodles, and, of course, poorly translated kung-fu movie subtitles—such as. "It took my seven digestive pills to dissolve your hairy crab!” So whether you like your humor witty or witless, light or dark, or silly or sublime, you’ll laugh until your head explodes. Chortle at…Dumb crooks: The robber who ran face-first into a wall because he forgot to poke eye holes in his pillow case.Witty wordplay: If Snoop Doggy Dogg were to marry Winnie the Pooh, his name would become Snoop Doggy Dogg Pooh.Flubbed headlines: "British Left Waffles On House Floor”Quirky stars: Billy Idol’s concert rider demands he have one large tub of I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter in his dressing room.Job Lingo: If you hear an E.R. doc mention a "VIP,” be on the lookout for a "Very Intoxicated Patient.”Comedian quips: "I wonder if deaf people have a sign for "Talk to the hand.’” --Zach GalifianakisSputtering sportscasters: "If only faces could talk.” --Pat SummerallAnd much, much more!

    Scientific Shaman. Big Brother Au-Go-Go. He sits comfortably at the apex of the pyramid of worldly knowledge, twiddling his thumbs. His word, according to followers, is The Word, and that word is Slack. Beyond science, reason — and orgasm — find in Bobliography instant instructions for those who follow no master. The third installment of the holy SubGenius books, Bobliography is an uproarious send-up of all things cult. In addition to providing a guide for Eternal Salvation (or triple your money back), Bobliography is the encapsulated history of the SubGenius "movement" — from its beginnings in the 1980s to the growing Internet empire it has lately become — and also the essential, comprehensive collection of SubGenius lore. A Whole Earth catalog for the Deeply Weird, a Farmer's Almanac for the Truly Strange — Bobliography is the revelation of the millennium.

    Please note this book only contains two words and is entirely satire.

    This book contains more than 150 pages crammed full of classic, monochrome plumage art paired with the delightful but dirty aphorisms (think "I'm going to need more booze to deal with this week") that made the Effin' Birds Twitter feed a household name. Also included in its full, Technicolor glory is John James Audubon's most beautiful work matched with modern life advice. Including never-before-seen birds, insults, and field notes.

    Written for Americans, but equally amusing to anyone visiting the shores of the Great Southern Land, this book examines the relationship between Australia and the U.S., including how Australians view their American cousins. The author has plenty of experience of working and dealing with Americans. He is married to an American nurse and has lived his life within the massive cultural influence that America has shared with Australia since the Second World War. The author’s stories are brimming with empathy and jokes for his American audience. The book is written from the opinion of an Aussie Bloke and the easy-to-digest chapters are just long enough to leave the reader smiling and well informed.Topics include Blokes and Sheilas, Bloody Foster’s, Dangerous Creatures, Talking to Dogs, The GAFA, Speaking Strail-yun and Working for the Queen. Confused? You won’t be after reading this book!

    Never fear, there are hundreds of ways to revolt against the tedium of everyday life. Whether it’s making rude gestures to a hotel clerk under the desk or making your own "Do Not Disturb" sign that says "Come In If You Like Swordplay," Rich Fulcher's inventive collection will allow readers to unleash their rebellious sides—without getting arrested. Other tiny acts include unbuckling your seat belt before the plane has fully stopped, squeezing a zit into the ATM camera, driving through a lonely red light in the dead of night, wearing a French Renaissance outfit on casual Fridays, and greeting a stranger with a limp, well-lotioned hand. Featuring original illustrations by Mr. Bingo, the illustrator of The Book of General Ignorance whose clients have included Absolut, New York Times, Nike, and Suicide Girls; and designed by Dave Brown, also known as Bollo the gorilla in The Mighty Boosh and designer of The Mighty Book of Boosh.

    For almost seventeen years, The Daily Show with Jon Stewart brilliantly redefined the borders between television comedy, political satire, and opinionated news coverage. It launched the careers of some of today's most significant comedians, highlighted the hypocrisies of the powerful, and garnered 23 Emmys. Now the show's behind-the-scenes gags, controversies, and camaraderie will be chronicled by the players themselves, from legendary host Jon Stewart to the star cast members and writers-including Samantha Bee, Stephen Colbert, John Oliver, Steve Carell, Lewis Black, Jessica Williams, John Hodgman, and Larry Wilmore-plus some of The Daily Show's most prominent guests and adversaries: John and Cindy McCain, Glenn Beck, Tucker Carlson, and many more.This oral history takes the reader behind the curtain for all the show's highlights, from its origins as Comedy Central's underdog late-night program hosted by Craig Kilborn to Jon Stewart's long reign to Trevor Noah's succession, rising from a scrappy jester in the 24-hour political news cycle to become part of the beating heart of politics-a trusted source for not only comedy but also commentary, with a reputation for calling bullshit and an ability to effect real change in the world. Through years of incisive election coverage, Jon Stewart's emotional monologue in the wake of 9/11, his infamous confrontation on Crossfire, passionate debates with President Obama and Hillary Clinton, feuds with Bill O'Reilly and Fox, the Indecisions, Mess O'Potamia, and provocative takes on Wall Street and racism, The Daily Show has been a cultural touchstone. Now, for the first time, the people behind the show's seminal moments come together to share their memories of the last-minute rewrites, improvisations, pranks, romances, blow-ups, and moments of Zen both on and off the set of one of America's most groundbreaking shows.

    There, any romantic visions they'd had of restoring a villa or stamping their entwined feet in vats of Chianti grapes disappeared faster than the chief witness in a Cosa Nostra trial. Shamus and Gill's tiny apartment in Catania was located in a grim neighborhood opposite a triple-X cinema and a shop selling coffins, nearby Mount Etna erupted soon after their arrival, a mystery ailment left Shamus in a neck brace, they crashed a Vespa, and they had regular dealings with at least one Mafioso. This, then, is an Italian sea change with grit. But it's also a story of optimism, endurance, and acceptance; an exploration of the minutiae of Sicilian culture, history, food, and religion; and an example of how to find beauty—and humor—in the most unexpected of places.

    Here’s a quick guide and easily digestible list of his lies, moronic comments and stupid moves – both past and present – proving he’s by far the least qualified leader in our nation’s history. “101 Facts” was assembled by a group of independent journalists with nearly a century of combined experience. This isn’t an opinion piece. It’s a catalog of actual statements made by Trump in his own words that leave no doubt as to exactly who this person is and why he doesn’t belong in Washington, in business or in civilized society. Part of the proceeds from this book support anti-Trump groups nationwide. Readers who can’t afford the modest price can still read the book entirely free by visiting DCIdiots.com, a new website created to catalog the ongoing misdoings of Trump and other Washington idiots who are being supported by your tax dollars. When your friends ask why you hate Trump, now you’ll have an instant catalog of reasons, along with a website tracking the ongoing insult to America that is the Trump administration. Check out the book, sign up for the online free newsletter, and keep track of the enemies of wisdom with short, easily digestible and sometimes humorous stories delivered weekly to your inbox. Martin Luther King once said, “In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.” Don’t be silent. Buy the book, stay informed and support those supporting you.

    . .' Alison Hammond loves to laugh. And the nation laughs with her. Her sunny personality and zest for life have brought joy to millions and made her one of the UK's best-loved television presenters. Known for her hilarious and unforgettable interviews with Hollywood A-listers, Alison is also responsible for countless classic moments of broadcasting gold - from getting stuck on a caravan door to delivering Christmas cash dressed as an elf. But who is Alison Hammond really, and how did she become the personality we know and love? Shaped by the influence of her incredible mum, Alison went from small roles on television shows as a youngster to that life-changing appearance on Big Brother, before landing her dream job on This Morning. And through it all, she found the joy in every day, the positives in any situation. You've Got to Laugh gives a never-before-seen insight into Alison's life: her loves, her losses - with a side order of gossip. As well as being a hugely entertaining and uplifting read, Alison's story will inspire you to grab life with both hands and make the most of every single moment. 'Interviewer extraordinaire, reigning queen of the huns, and an out-and-out national treasure' Bustle

    In her trademark bossy, witty, and authoritative way, Miss Manners gives advice that will make the big day more pleasant for one and all, including the bride. 15 line drawings.

    Senate, Bill Bradley won a national reputation for thoughtfulness, decency, and a willingness to take controversial positions on issues ranging from tax reform to the rights of Native Americans. All these qualities inform this best-selling memoir, in which Bradley assesses his political career and the experiences that shaped his convictions, and looks beyond them to consider the state of the American union on the eve of the 21st century. Time Present, Time Past offers an intimate portrait of the day-to-day working of the Senate: how legislation gets passed and sometimes thwarted; how money is raised and at what cost. But Bradley also writes about deeper questions: What does it means to be an American in an ago of dwindling opportunities and increasing inequality? How much can we expect from our public servants? What do we owe our fellow citizens? The result is a genuinely revelatory book, informed by intelligence, compassion, and unprecedented candor."Strikingly reflects the realities of modern politics, what it looks like, feels like, from the inside."--New York Times Book Review

    Hicks's summation of life gains greater spirituality as he goes on.' Scarlett Thomas, Independent on Sunday

    J. O'Rourke's savagely funny and national best-seller Parliament of Whores has become a classic in understanding the workings of the American political system. Originally written at the end of the Reagan era, this new edition includes an extensive foreword by the renowned political writer Andrew Ferguson -- showing us that although the names and the players have changed, the game is still the same. Parliament of Whores is an exuberant, broken-field run through the ethical foibles, pork-barrel flimflam, and bureaucratic bullrorfle inside the Beltway that leaves no sacred cow unskewered and no politically correct sensitivities unscorched.