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    Whether this is because they haven't yet mastered the 21st century phone or because they live to embarrass you throughout all forms of communication, Text Fails from Mum, is a hilarious collection of our all time favourite texts from Mum.Please stop changing the google logo so much, I like the original one.Mum I don't change the logo. Google changes it.On my computer, you don't run the Google?If I did I wouldn't be driving a 2004 Ford.Andy, I can't find my phone. Can you call it so I can try and track it down?I don't have time to be quippy, mum. It's in your hand.What? No it's not. I've got a bag of groceries in my hand. Are you saying it's in the grocery bag? How do you know these things!?WHAT ARE YOU TEXTING ME WITH!?Never mind! I found it! Thanks!This humour gift book is the laugh out loud answer to the annual conundrum what should I get Mum for Christmas, Mother's Day and her Birthday? Text Fails From Mum is the perfect stocking filler, and a gift all the family can relate to and enjoy.

    Desperate for an heir who will be able to protect the throne, Lucy looks to be the perfect candidate to provide the King's offspring. The Chosen One, lost in a realm of lust, evil, and a power-hungry King - she needs to escape. Torn between a loyalty to all he has ever known and a growing desire for Lucy; can Amos find a way through this? Will the consequence for them be too much to risk, and what would it mean for the entire Dragon Realm? The Dragon's Touch - Book 2 It is the time that dragon females come of age to mate. Zara irrationally fears that King Dalyer will find her and recapture her as his bride; she was his favorite –though untouched- wife. Solar dreads it because he grapples with a forbidden attraction to Zara and he is certain that the men around their camp will try to claim her once she is of eligible age. Torn between the Oracle's prophecy and his burning desire, can Solar stay loyal to the cause? To what end will he use Zara to achieve the revolution's ultimate aim? Dragon's Desire - Book 3 Following the clues from a dream to the human realm, the Oracle is searching for the lost man that he’s had visions about. The man whom he thinks is the only one who can destroy King Daylor. But his encounter with the beautiful single mom, Melanie, unnerves him. He is unsettled by the intensity of the protective instinct that is rising up in him. It’s unlike him to be serious about anything. But this is so different. Where will this burning desire lead and what does it mean for the Oracles quest? Dragon's Passion - Book 4 In the exciting conclusion to the dragon shifter series, Idris and other series favorites must rise to the occasion to battle the evil King Dalyer once and for all. For freedom. For the dragon realm. For love. For their true mate. This series contains strong sexual themes/language and is not intended for readers under the age of 18.

    Could you keep your cool while talking to all levels of stupid? Would you be able to wear a headset all day without wanting to throw it out of the window? All calls are recorded, analysed and timed to the second. Average handling time (AHT) is discussed as if it's the very meaning of life and managers are always coming up with new ways to shave milliseconds from each call. Is it acceptable to only have a total eight minutes a day for visits to the toilet or coffee machine? Imagine not being allowed to hang up on someone who is screaming abuse down the line at you. Welcome to the Call Centre! Izabelle worked in call centres for many years; from insurance to home shopping, from selling advertising to discussing loans. Finally in the early hours one morning, she decided enough was in fact far too much and left her final call centre job the same day, never to return. On her way out of the door for the final time she vowed she would write a book about life in a call centre. Here is that book. Read about call centres in general, memorable customers and staff. How do staff stay sane? What is Big Red? Are cranberries the true meaning of Christmas? Why would you have leather trousers round your ankles in a lift? How not to impress your boss. Izabelle shares these and many other true tales from her years of incarceration in UK call centres.

     Join Cooper and the rest of the C&C gang as they fight tyranny the best way they know how... by being assholes. The author's share of royalties from sales of this title are donated monthly to the ACLU. Join me in pissing in the face of tyranny.

    This book was brought to you by the one and only - THE CLOWN FACTORY.

    Toby has been waiting for years to finally get his chance to see the game, but after server problems and issues with the download he only has a few minutes to do so before real life calls. And nothing seems to go right. His first glimpses of the world leave him confused, and it turns out he isn’t alone. Someone has broken into the server and changed things to suit themselves. Everyone has only one character, one life, and an impossible goal: make it to the end in a week. Everyone is mortal, and everyone is a killer. It’s open season on other players. The man who usurped the world chose Toby to be the champion of this cause, despite his lack of knowledge of game… or perhaps because of it. He is given a terrible weapon, the only one capable of setting things right. Yet he is just as mortal as everyone else. Or worse, as his character remains in the world even if he logs out. But with the future of their hard work on the line, the developers are not about to sit out of this fight. Their game, their reputation, and their very company are on the line. With Toby’s help they take up the challenge and fight to reclaim their world.

    Where being Human just means you are not a Dwarf or an Elf. See a cynical young man who is working towards getting past level one. Add some rich powerful old people trying to take over the Ingame world. Throw in a abandoned haunted orphanage, a mysterious dragon and Gods that cannot be trusted. Add a huge city and young Donators buying their way through the game. Ingame, anything might happen. This story has adult content, please be aware of this.

    These three family men happily live the typical suburban family life-their only real problems have been with each other and the draconian rules of the HOA. That all changes when the dead rise from their graves and walk the Earth. Now they must reluctantly join together to survive the spreading apocalypse and find their families. Personal fears, long buried secrets and their own personalities threaten to tear the group apart as they make their way across the zombie ridden landscape in Dumb White Husbands vs. Zombies. This Zomnibus collects Dumb White Husbands vs. Zombies Monday - The Weekend.

    As a witch, albeit a weak example, it's a pleasure to reconnect with my mother's old coven. Unfortunately, the welcome home sours when we find a body in the woods behind my house.With a newly appointed supreme keen to avoid the attention of the governing national coven, I volunteer to uncover the culprit behind the despicable crime. A decision made before my oversized familiar and a handsome paranormal investigator start to trample all over the crime scene.As the case widens, and leads tangle, I must call on all the powers at my disposal to rid the coven of a threat worse than any sanction the national coven could apply. I mean, everything will probably work out okay… then again, pigs might fly.

    When the system begins to misfire under the workload, the ill-equipped representatives of God and the Devil tasked with managing the process are given an ultimatum. Fix The Afternet or go back to your previous afterlives. They begin an odyssey through the hordes of souls awaiting judgement and the oblivious living in search of a solution. Rich in comic detail and populated with characters real and imagined from throughout time, their quest is never going to be straightforward…

     Agatha Blackmore has grown. She finished her internship with the Magical Crimes Division of the FBI with flying colors. Now her and her team are on their own fighting magical creatures across the nation. Witches, Wizards and Dragons had better beware because nobody touches the witch! This volume contains three individual books: Special Agent in charge Witness Enchantment Night of the Unicorn

    Slump and one of the strangest places on Earth!

    Magic’s memory is longer, and far more dangerous. After a century spent as a tree, Finn awakens into a world she barely recognizes. Whispers of the Faie, long thought destroyed, are spreading across the countryside, bringing fears that they are returning to wreak havoc amongst the mortals once again. Dark shapes lurk just out of sight, watching Finn’s every move as she tries to regain the memories of her past. As if by fate, travelers are drawn to her side. Scholars, thieves, and Iseult, a sellsword who seems to know more about her than he’s letting on. When one of Finn’s companions is taken by the Faie, she will be forced to make a choice: rescue a woman she barely knows, or leave with Iseult in search of an ancient relic that may hold the answers she so desperately seeks. Her decision means more than she realizes, for with her return, an ancient evil has been released. In order to survive, Finn must rediscover the hidden magics she doesn’t want. She must unearth her deepest roots to expose the phantoms of her past, and to face the ancient prophecy slowly tightening its noose around her neck. Enter a world of Enchantment, filled with Celtic lore, magic, and just a touch of romance in Tree of Ages, the first book in a series sure to please fans of Lord of the Rings, The Dragonriders of Pern, and Sword of Shannara. This set includes: -Tree of Ages -The Melted Sea -The Blood Forest Other books in this series: -Queen of Wands -The Oaken Throne -Dawn of Magic: Forest of Embers

    If you are born different than other Paranormal beings, you are very welcome here. There are only two rules here. Rule 1: Half-breeds do not use magik. Rule 2: Do as you are told and keep your head down. Rule 3: When they try to kill you…die. Too bad I have always been very bad at following the rules. They have beaten me and stripped me of my magik. But when they try to kill the only person I love; All bets are off. I will make them regret the day they tried to turn me into their prey.