Dr. Spock may tell moms to trust their instincts, but Lynch's Misfit Mommies want to do every last thing but that. They feel like frauds and imposters, and Lynch's real-girl's voice will be instantly recognizable to them. Lynch will walk and talk new moms through it all: from lamenting the hot dogs and second-hand smoke they were raised on (and, of course, "you turned out just fine") to the realization that kids are kind of germy and gross (but feeling that way doesn't make one a bad mother) to keeping it together at work with Cheerios in the old nursing bra.

    Why else would you be looking at this book? If you have ever wanted to see behind the front lines of retail, this is the book for you. If you want to validate your own experiences in retail, this is the book for you. If you just want to laugh at humorous things from funny people, this is the book for you. Packed full of true short stories from working in one of these super stores, only one conclusion can be reached in the end: Wal-Mart is the craziest place on Earth!

    His book includes essays on Sudan, India, Cuba, Germany and California. In each piece, there is a central image as the key to unlocking the personality of a place.

    Pepper's cover, Terry Southern was an audacious original. Now Dig This is a journey through Terry Southern's America, from the buttoned-down '50s through the sexual revolution, rock 'n' roll, and independent cinema (which he helped inaugurate by cowriting and producing Easy Rider), up to his death in 1995. It spans Southern's stellar career, from early short stories and a Paris Review interview with Henry Green, to his legendary Esquire piece covering the 1968 Chicago Democratic Convention with Jean Genet and William Burroughs and his equally infamous account of life neck-high in girls and cocaine aboard The Rolling Stones' tour jet, to his memories of twentieth-century legends like Abbie Hoffman, Kurt Vonnegut, and Stanley Kubrick, with whom he wrote Dr. Strangelove. "A voice electric with street rhythm and royal with offhand intellection ... stuffed with strange and silken scraps." -- Troy Patterson, Entertainment Weekly "The subterranean Texan's finest moments are exquisite reads ... like a hot poker in the eye of conventional narrative." -- A. D. Amorosi, Philadelphia City Paper "The range of writing ... [was] as lethal as Mailer claimed and still awaiting the attention it deserves." -- Charles Taylor, Newsday "... reveals a writer defined by his generosity, by the pursuit of fun and by an insatiable ... literary appetite...." -- Claire Dederer, The New York Times Book Review

    They don't know what the HELL is going on. Unfortunately many of these people are responsible for running THE COUNTRY. They don't know the difference between a PRECIOUS JEWEL and a piece of animal turd. Their ideas are MEANINGLESS, illustrated using RUBBISH imagery (often made by a computer). The stupid words they write are always in BAD FONTS.Yet still people HEED this nonsense. Maybe YOU are one of these people?It's alright. I am here to HELP you. I have a FULLY-COMPOSED WORLD VIEW. I have STRONG opinions about EVERYTHING. And my ideas are HAND-ILLUSTRATED and use REAL HANDWRITING that you can trust. I know exactly what's going on and am WILLING to share my thoughts with you. If you LISTEN to what I say then things will quickly improve. No more weak messages. No more bad situations. Shall we proceed?

    Navy SEAL is a collection of true events about the author's time in U.S. Navy SEAL Teams and how SEALs use their humor to cope with all sorts of tragic events that they experience in their professional careers. This book offers the reader a personal glimpse into the minds of America's most elite warriors. The stories explain how SEALs bond with each other to become brothers-in-arms through their difficult training and tactical missions. This book also explains why SEALs use extreme humor, on themselves and others, in order to cope with a job that places these professional warriors face to face with death on almost a daily basis There are are those who say that it is not logical to run into the face of danger, perhaps that explains why most people think that SEALs are crazy. We prefer to look danger in the eye and not run from it, perhaps this also explains why there are not so many of us. When The Bullet Hits Your Funny Bone takes the reader on an emotional roller-coaster ride of tragedy and laughter, giving the reader a complete inner circle view into the professional and personal lives of America's most elite warriors.

     Sure, black men and women have been through four hundred years of slavery, oppression, murder, and watching white college students try to dance. But now that it's hip to have black friends, white people aren't sure how to go about it. And that is a real American tragedy. Thank God Nick Adams is here to help you avoid potential racial pitfalls and successfully make the transition from white to "aiight." Now, you'll know not to start a conversation with, "So, that new Jay-Z album is pretty great, right?" Or tell a co-worker he looks just like (fill in blank with name of dark-skinned person who works in the other building.) You'll know that a lot of black people you meet at parties or work functions don't care who played Thelma's husband on "Good Times," don't want to discuss the Malcolm X biography you just read and definitely don't want to listen to country music. Ever. Yes, it's a good thing Nick is here to explain. Because if we're going to live together in peace and harmony, you people are going to need help. Black People, Briefly Explained. A Q&A with Nick Adams Q: Nick, what is the correct term to use when addressing my new friends: Black or African-American?A: Personally, I always liked Afro-American. I liked being named after a 1970's hairdo. But then I wondered why we didn't become the Jheri-curled Americans or High Top Fade Americans. Q: Nick, if black people can use the "N" word as a term of endearment, can I, a white person, do so? A: No. I don't care if you have your hair in cornrows while wearing a Phat Farm t-shirt at an R. Kelly concert. Black people don't get to be president, and white people don't get to use the word nigger. Can we just call it even now? Q: Nick, I'd like to try slang. Is that okay? A: When you guys start using our words, that's when we know it's time for us to stop using them. Every time a white, middle-aged math teacher calls a student, "dog," black people all over the country are notified via email. Believe it. Q: Nick, surely you have to agree that Eminem is a hip-hop visionary? A: Let's try this one more time: Kurtis Blow, RUN-DMC, LL Cool J, Rakim, Chuck D, KRS-One, Tupac, Notorious B.I.G., Nas, Common, Mos Def, Bitch!

    If you cherish every piece of art, every book report, every letter to Santa your child gives you, then this book is not for you. If your refrigerator is adorned with mementos from your kid's childhood, then you are a sucker. Maddox, who has been writing hilarious essays for his popular site, TheBestPageInTheUniverse.com since 1996, can spell, do math, and run faster than your kids, and he is here to show you just how inferior your kids are. Marvel as Maddox deconstructs an eight-year-old's crayon-drawn family portrait! Laugh uproariously as he judges sub-par Valentines, homemade "gifts" and other areas of elementary-aged underperformance!Why reward weakness and mediocrity with gold stars? You are in Maddox's world now, and no child is safe from the scrutiny and critical gaze of the world's foremost authority on children's crappy artwork.

    Schirripa, The Sopranos’ own Bobby Bacala, exposes the inner mysteries of this unique Italian-American hybrid in A Goomba’s Guide to Life so that anyone can walk, talk, and live like a guy “from the neighborhood.”Über-goomba Steve Schirripa shows how being a goomba made him what he is today, offering lessons learned on his own journey from Bensonhurst to Vegas, and to his current gig as Bobby Bacala on one of TV’s most popular shows. Along the way, he shares secrets that will help you get in touch with your own inner goomba. You’ll learn what music to enjoy (Sinatra, yes; Snoop Dogg, no), what movies to watch (Raging Bull, yes; Titanic, never), which sports to follow (baseball is good; golf and tennis, fuhgeddaboudit), and even tips on goomba etiquette. Ever wonder how a real goomba gets the best seat in the house? (Hint: It involves tipping, jewelry, and intimidation.) Schirripa even includes goomba do’s and don’ts (never, ever criticize a goomba’s mother or her gravy; always wear more jewelry than you think you need).With knockout photographs of Schirripa and his compares, and insider information on how to think goomba, speak goomba, cook and eat goomba, and even how to behave at goomba weddings and funerals, A Goomba’s Guide to Life will show any wiseguy wannabe how to sing like a Soprano.

    Powers, a self-described self-reflection junkie, challenges readers to create a more joyful life by using an easily adapted process outlined in Oh shift! Drawing on her New Jersey upbringing, Powers couples a provocative approach with fearless humor and wit to provide readers with the inspiration to become true shift heads. Powers shares both personal vignettes and client success stories to drive the Oh, shift! message home and to showcase the benefits of shifting in today's world. Chapters aptly titled to fit the Oh, shift! message include: Shift or get off the pot, Why take a shift?, Shift happens, The f'n shift, Let's shoot the shift, Scared shiftless and many more. This is not your everyday self-help book. The title may be funny, but the content is powerfully life-changing. The book utilizes a specially designed layout to emphasize important points and to make it a quick and enjoyable read. It guarantees to get the reader totally shift-faced.

    Black humor is used in a series of cartoons depicting ironic situations in which people meet their end.

    Millions of loyal listeners tune in every week to hear his unique blend of news and views. Now the man who brought us "The Rest Of The Story" brings us the humor behind the headlines in this hilarious collection of truth-is-funnier-than-fiction stories. Told in Paul Harvey's unique, inimitable, and unforgettable style, here are stories that will tickle you, touch you-and just plain make you laugh out loud, such as . . .the jogger who quit running because the wind kept putting out his cigarette, the man who fell into a tree stump and had to be rescued by forest rangers, the nude sunbather on the hotel roof who accidentally stretched out over the dining room skylight, the woman karate expert who stopped a purse snatcher cold--by hitting him over the head with her umbrella, the man who resigned himself to deafness for twenty years--until he discovered his hearing aid was in the wrong ear. From wacky want ads to riotous run-ins with the law, from embarrassing moments at home and work to the frank and funny things kids say, "Paul Harvey's For What It's Worth" celebrates human eccentricity in all its infinitely amusing variety.

    Some are entertainingly bad. But the very worst are instructively bad. Left Behind: A Novel of the Earth's Last Days is even worse than that. Fred Clark has been learning from the relentless awfulness of this book for more than a decade and he invites you to join him on a journey through the horrors and hilarity of one of the worst books ever written.

    

    Along the way, readers join the author in discovering: • The scary side of fishing; • Why it’s wrong when board games become blood sports; • The unexpected connection between cooking classes and true romance; • How the author's cat convinced him to take up yoga (and why that was a terrible idea); • Golfing for the ball challenged; • The thrill of jumping out of an airplane without risking your life; • The eternal appeal of Elly May Clampett; and, • How to do nothing without feeling guilty about it.