How to Survive a Horror Movie


Seth Grahame-Smith - 2007
    Be Very Afraid.From ghosts, vampires, and zombies to serial killers, cannibalistic hillbillies, and haunted Japanese videocassettes, How to Survive a Horror Movie shows how to defeat every obstacle found in scary films. Readers will discover:- How to Perform an Exorcism - What to Do If You Did Something Last Summer - How to Persuade the Skeptical Local Sheriff - How to Vanquish a Murderous Doll - How to Survive an Alien Invasion - How to Tell If You've Been Dead Since the Beginning of the Movieand much, much more. Complete with useful instructions, insane illustrations, and a list of 100 important films to study, How to Survive a Horror Movie is essential reading for prom queens, jocks, teenage babysitters, and anyone employed by a summer camp.

Why Do Men Have Nipples?: Hundreds of Questions You'd Only Ask a Doctor After Your Third Martini


Mark Leyner - 1995
    You’ve had a martini or three, and you mingle through the crowd, wondering how long you need to stay before going out for pizza. Suddenly you’re introduced to someone new, Dr. Nice Tomeetya. You forget the pizza. Now is the perfect time to bring up all those strange questions you’d like to ask during an office visit with your own doctor but haven’t had the guts (or more likely the time) to do so. You’re filled with liquid courage . . . now is your chance! If you’ve ever wanted to ask a doctor . . .•How do people in wheelchairs have sex?•Why do I get a killer headache when I suck down my milkshake too fast?•Can I lose my contact lens inside my head forever?•Why does asparagus make my pee smell?•Why do old people grow hair on their ears?•Is the old adage “beer before liquor, never sicker, liquor before beer . . .” really true? . . . then Why Do Men Have Nipples? is the book for you.Compiled by Billy Goldberg, an emergency medicine physician, and Mark Leyner, bestselling author and well-known satirist, Why Do Men Have Nipples? offers real factual and really funny answers to some of the big questions about the oddities of our bodies.

Easy Spanish Phrase Book: Over 770 Basic Phrases for Everyday Use


Dover Publications Inc. - 1994
    More than 770 basic phrases for everyday use enable you to communicate instantly on a host of topics: health and medical situations; essential services; boat, plane, and train travel; much more.

Hotel Pastis: A Novel of Provence


Peter Mayle - 1993
    As he surveys the desolation of his former home in the wake of his ex-wife, he yearns for a life free of complications. But somehow a short break in the warm seductive air of Provence quickly turns into something more.

Jewish as a Second Language


Molly Katz - 1991
    Written to help her Gentile husband and others like him who fall for believing a Jewish mother-in-law when she says, "Don't bother driving me, I'll take a cab," Jewish as a Second Language shows how to be one of the family—how to worry, how to interrupt, how to change your hotel room. It's not Yiddish. Though non-Jews can endear themselves by learning how to mis-use words like schmendrick and schmatta—providing both laughs and confirmation of Jewish superiority—this Jewish language is about the complex twists and somersaults of everyday speech, of unexpected nuances, hidden meanings, and swampy thickets of behavior, of wins, losses, and draws in competitions you never knew you entered. It's about the most common OAQs (obsessive anal questions): "This mole looks okay, doesn't it?" "Can Saltines go bad?" "They'll de-ice the wings before takeoff, right?" The Four Basic Shrugs. Acronyms never to use again: NASCAR, STD, and MRSA (Methicillin Resistant Staphylococcus Aureus, the potentially deadly skin virus that’s spread by contact, and also by talking about it casually). The things non-Jews do for fun and what Jews do: Contra dance/Contradict, Read the comics/Read the obituaries, Get your boobs done/Get your taxes done. Stuff never found in a Jewish home (trout flies, a lineoleum knife, a Lay-Z-Boy, a rottweiler) or mouth (Miracle Whip, marshmallow fluff, Bud).So you'll sit, you'll read, you'll laugh until you're nauseous. It's a nice book.

Bottoms Up in Belgium


Alec Le Sueur - 2013
    It was the start, for better or for worse, of a long relationship with this unassuming and much maligned little country. He decided to put worldwide opinion to the test: is Belgium really as boring as people say it is? Immersing himself in Belgian culture – and sampling the local beer and ‘cat poo’ coffee along the way – he discovers a country of contradictions; of Michelin stars and processed food, where Trappist monks make the best beer in the world and grown men partake in vertical archery and watch roosters sing (not necessarily at the same time). This colourful and eccentric jaunt is proof that Belgium isn’t just a load of waffle.

My Drunk Kitchen: A Guide to Eating, Drinking, and Going with Your Gut


Hannah Hart - 2014
    She opened her laptop, pulled out some bread and cheese, and then, as one does, started drinking. The video was called "Butter Yo Sh*t" and online sensation My Drunk Kitchen was born.My Drunk Kitchen (the book!) includes recipes, stories, color photographs, and tips and tricks to inspire your own adventures in tipsy cooking. Hannah offers cocktail recommendations, culinary advice (like, remember to turn off the oven when you go to bed), and shares never-before-seen recipes such as:The Hartwich (Knowledge is ingenuity! Learn from the past!) Can Bake (Inventing things is hard! You don't have to start from scratch!) Latke Shotkes (Plan ahead to avoid a night of dread!) Tiny Sandwiches (Size doesn't matter! Aim to satisfy.) Saltine Nachos (It's not about resources! It's about being resourceful.)In the end, My Drunk Kitchen may not be your go-to guide for your next dinner party . . . but it will make you laugh and drink . . . I mean think . . . about life.

See It and Say It in Spanish


Margarita Madrigal - 1961
    THE WORD AND PICTURE METHOD--Each new word, phrase, or sentence is accompanied by a line drawing that immediately explains its meaning.READY-MADE VOCABULARY--Right from the starts, this books leads you to speaking conversational Spanish. It utilizes everyday Spanish words and phrases that look and sound like their English equivalents.Also includes: - A traveler's word list- A pronunciation guide- A grammar section

The Cambridge Encyclopedia of Language


David Crystal - 1987
    Probably the most successful general study of language ever published, The Cambridge Encyclopedia of Language covers all the major themes of language study, including popular ideas about language, language and identity, the structure of language, speaking and listening, writing, reading, and signing, language acquisition, the neurological basis of language, and languages of the world. Exposing this work to a new generation of readers, the Second Edition extends the range of coverage to include advances in areas such as machine translation, speech interaction with machines, and language teaching. There is new material on acoustics, physiological concepts of language, and World English, and a complete update of the language distribution maps, language-speaking statistics, table of the world's languages, and further reading. All geopolitical material has been revised to take account of boundary changes. The book has been redesigned and is presented for the first time in full color, with new pictures and maps added.

The Guinea Pig Diaries: My Life as an Experiment


A.J. Jacobs - 2009
    J. Jacobs read the entire Encyclopædia Britannica from cover to cover in a quest to learn everything in the world. In The Year of Living Biblically, he followed every single rule of the Bible -- from the Ten Commandments right on down to stoning adulterers.Now comes a collection of his most hilarious and thought-provoking experiments yet. In his role as human guinea pig, Jacobs fearlessly takes on a series of life-altering challenges that provides readers with equal parts insight and humor. (And which drives A.J.'s patient wife, Julie, to the brink of insanity.)Among the many adventures:• He outsources his life. A.J. hires a team of people in Bangalore, India, to take care of everything in his life from answering his e-mails to arguing with his spouse.• He spends a month practicing Radical Honesty -- a movement that encourages us to remove the filters between our brains and mouths. (To give you an idea of what happened, the name of the chapter is "I Think You're Fat.")• He goes to the Academy Awards disguised as a movie star to understand the strange and warping effects of fame.• He commits himself to ultimate rationality, using cutting-edge science to make the best decisions possible. It changes the way he makes choices big and small, from what to buy at the grocery store to how to talk to his kids. And his revelations will change how you make decisions, too.• He attempts to follow George Washington's rules of life, uncovering surprising truths about leadership and politics in the twenty-first century. He also spends a lot of time bowing and doffing his hat.• And then there's the month when he followed his wife's every whim -- foot massages, Kate Hudson movies, and all. Depending on your point of view, it's either the best or worst idea in the history of American marriage.A mix of Bill Bryson, George Plimpton, and Malcolm Gladwell, A.J. explores the big issues of our time -- happiness, dating, morality, marriage -- by immersing himself in eye-opening situations. You'll be entertained by these stories -- some of which are new, some of which had their start in Esquire magazine. But you'll also learn to look at life in new ways.The Guinea Pig Diaries is a book packed with both laughs and enlightenment -- and that's a promise we can make with Radical Honesty.

The Essential Book of Useless Information: The Most Unimportant Things You'll Never Need to Know


Donald Voorhees - 2009
    The useless information never ends in the newest, most crucially meaningless entry in the Useless Information series. This latest cornucopia of amazingly pointless facts and figures will have trivia buffs marveling at all the things they never needed to know.

You Suck at Cooking: The Absurdly Practical Guide to Sucking Slightly Less at Making Food


You Suck at Cooking - 2019
    It contains more than sixty recipes for beginner cooks and noobs alike, in addition to hundreds of paragraphs and sentences, as well as photos and drawings.You'll learn to cook with unintimidating ingredients in dishes like Broccoli Cheddar Quiche Cupcake Muffin-Type Things, Eddie's Roasted Red Pepper Dip (while also learning all about Eddie's sad, sad life), Jalape�o Chicken, and also other stuff. In addition, there are cooking tips that can be applied not only to the very recipes in this book, but also to recipes outside of this book, and to all other areas of your life (with mixed results).In the end, you just might suck slightly less at cooking.**Results not guaranteed

Basics of Biblical Greek Grammar


William D. Mounce - 1993
    Mounce's Basics of Biblical Greek Grammar and its companion tool Basics of Biblical Greek Workbook are by far the best-selling and most widely accepted textbooks for learning New Testament Greek. As a result of feedback from professors, the author has made adjustments to his material. For example, a chapter on clauses has been added at the end of the book. The CD-ROM is now easier to use and has even more information on it than the earlier edition. The workbook has been significantly rewritten. Nearly 50 percent of the verses are new. They are shorter and more focused on the grammar of the chapter. Features include: - Best-selling Greek language textbook - Changes from the first edition made in response to ten years of use - Grammar's CD-ROM is easier to navigate and now includes short audio summary lectures (7-9 minutes) - An appendix in the Grammar allows professors to introduce verbs earlier in the course - Two tracks in the workbook: track one allows you to go through the book in the normal order. Track two has totally different exercises that allow you to teach verbs earlier. - Workbook has 3-hole, perforated pages

The Book of General Ignorance


John Lloyd - 2006
    It’ll have you scratching your head wondering why we even bother to go to school.Think Magellan was the first man to circumnavigate the globe, baseball was invented in America, Henry VIII had six wives, Mount Everest is the tallest mountain? Wrong, wrong, wrong, and wrong again. You’ll be surprised at how much you don’t know! Check out THE BOOK OF GENERAL IGNORANCE for more fun entries and complete answers to the following:How long can a chicken live without its head?About two years.What do chameleons do?They don’t change color to match the background. Never have; never will. Complete myth. Utter fabrication. Total Lie. They change color as a result of different emotional states.How many legs does a centipede have?Not a hundred.How many toes has a two-toed sloth?It’s either six or eight.Who was the first American president?Peyton Randolph.What were George Washington’s false teeth made from?Mostly hippopotamus.What was James Bond’s favorite drink?Not the vodka martini.

Signing Illustrated (Revised Edition): The Complete Learning Guide


Mickey Flodin - 2004
    This easy-to-use guide is updated and expanded to include new computer and technology signs and offers a fast and simple approach to learning. Includes:- Vocabulary reviews- Fingerspelling exercises- Sign matching and memory aids- A complete glossary and a comprehensive index- Clear instructive drawings