Book picks similar to
The Dark Side of Close Relationships by Spitzberg


psychology
psychology-sociology
gave-up
relationships

How Pleasure Works: The New Science of Why We Like What We Like


Paul Bloom - 2010
    The average American spends over four hours a day watching television. Abstract art can sell for millions of dollars. Young children enjoy playing with imaginary friends and can be comforted by security blankets. People slow their cars to look at gory accidents, and go to movies that make them cry. In this fascinating and witty account, Paul Bloom examines the science behind these curious desires, attractions, and tastes, covering everything from the animal instincts of sex and food to the uniquely human taste for art, music, and stories. Drawing on insights from child development, philosophy, neuroscience, and behavioral economics, How Pleasure Works shows how certain universal habits of the human mind explain what we like and why we like it.

Friendship: The Evolution, Biology, and Extraordinary Power of Life's Fundamental Bond


Lydia Denworth - 2020
    In Friendship, journalist Lydia Denworth visits the front lines of the science of friendship in search of its biological, psychological, and evolutionary foundations. Finding it to be as old as life on the African savannas, she also discovers that friendship is reflected in our brain waves, detectable in our genomes, and capable of strengthening our cardiovascular and immune systems. Its opposite, loneliness, can kill. As a result, social connection is finally being recognized as critical to our physical and emotional well-being.With warmth and compassion, Denworth weaves together past and present, field biology and cutting-edge neuroscience, to show how our bodies and minds are designed to make friends, the process by which social bonds develop, and how a drive for friendship underpins human (and nonhuman) society. With its refreshingly optimistic vision of the evolution of human nature, this book puts friendship at the center of our lives.

The Art of Hunting Humans: A radical and confronting explanation of the human mind


Sidney Mazzi - 2019
    With straightforward language, weird metaphors and practical examples, it enables readers to understand human behaviour and evaluate their lives from an outsider’s perspective.Designed to challenge rather than comfort, The Art of Hunting Humans sets itself apart from anything else written in its field. The result is a sceptical, radical explanation of the mind that provides extraordinary insights into the inner worlds of human beings.Learn more: wannabewise dot comBOOK BLURB:The age-old art of human hunting is one you must orchestrate with care. In The Art of Hunting Humans, you’ll learn essential facts about Earth’s smartest primate and discover mistakes that are common among hunters while in pursuit of their prey. Whether you are an experienced hunter or a novice, this guide is essential reading. In it, you’ll learn the major steps for a hunt — from correct observation and selection of your prey to choosing the tastiest bait. It will reveal how to leverage humans’ self-ignorance and strange behaviours and expose flaws of which they are oblivious. At the end of the book, you will have the opportunity to meet the SUPERIORS — creatures like no other. You’d better be ready!Even if you’re a seasoned hunter, The Art of Hunting Humans provides extraordinary insights into human behaviour as well as tips that will blow your mind.Almost everything in this book is a trap. Enjoy!

Communication as Culture: Essays on Media and Society


James W. Carey - 1988
    Carey's lively thought, lucid style, and profound scholarship propel the reader through a wide and varied intellectual landscape, particularly as these issues have affected Modern American thought. As entertaining as it is enlightening, Communication as Culture is certain to become a classic in its field.

Divorcing a Narcissist: Advice from the Battlefield


Tina Swithin - 2014
    The behavior of individuals with Narcissistic Personality Disorder generally defies logic but sadly, their tactics in the Family Court System often fool Judges, Commissioners, Attorneys, Minor’s Counsel, Social Workers, Therapists and even trained Evaluators. Narcissists are the masters of manipulation and projection and are known to launch stealth assaults that will leave their victims in an utter state of confusion and desperation. Victims are often left shattered and without a voice because they feel that no one could possibly believe or understand what they are silently enduring. Author, Tina Swithin, understands what it’s like to divorce a narcissist. Tina spent over four years on the battlefield of the Family Court System while acting as her own attorney in a desperate attempt to protect her two young daughters. While Tina’s first book, Divorcing a Narcissist: One Mom’s Battle details Tina’s personal journey and court battle, her new book offers solid advice and sanity-saving wisdom for transforming from victim to survivor. Education is power and Divorcing a Narcissist: Advice from the Battlefield is your personal guide and resource for navigating through high-conflict divorce. Receive advice for every stage of the battle:• Leaving the Narcissist: Strategies and advice • Divorcing: Advice on attorneys, tactical moves, courtroom preparation, anxiety/PTSD, evaluations and more.• Narc Decoder: Learn to decode emails and communication.• Children: Sharing custody, sheltering children and breaking the cycle.• Life Beyond the Narcissist: Loving again, personal growth and healing.• Stories of Hope• Resources

Transformational Speaking: If You Want to Change the World, Tell a Better Story


Gail Larsen - 2009
    Speaking coach and consultant Gail Larsen presents a proven program that liberates the "speaker within" and transforms even the reluctant orator into an agent of change.  While most books on public speaking focus on polishing your presentation and overcoming fear, Larsen's holistic blend of spirit and logic goes far beyond the standard format, making TRANSFORMATIONAL SPEAKING a must-read for even the most seasoned speechmakers. With her uniquely inspirational approach, Larsen reaches out to those who want to make a genuine difference in our world by changing minds through touching hearts.  TRANSFORMATIONAL SPEAKING offers insightful advice on everything from defining your message and refining your delivery, to managing the dynamics of a room, handling logistics like a pro, and building a connection with an audience of any size. Larsen has helped business executives and entrepreneurs, community and social change leaders, and healers and life coaches become active movers and shakers through the power of effective communication.

Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most


Douglas Stone - 1999
    Based on fifteen years of research at the Harvard Negotiation Project, Difficult Conversations walks you through a step-by-step proven approach to having your toughest conversations with less stress and more success. You will learn: -- how to start the conversation without defensiveness-- why what is not said is as important as what is-- ways of keeping and regaining your balance in the face of attacks and accusations-- how to decipher the underlying structure of every difficult conversationFilled with examples from everyday life, Difficult Conversations will help you on your job, at home, or out of the world. It is a book you will turn to again and again for advice, practical skills, and reassurance.

Loneliness: Human Nature and the Need for Social Connection


John T. Cacioppo - 2008
    Cacioppo’s groundbreaking research topples one of the pillars of modern medicine and psychology: the focus on the individual as the unit of inquiry. By employing brain scans, monitoring blood pressure, and analyzing immune function, he demonstrates the overpowering influence of social context—a factor so strong that it can alter DNA replication. He defines an unrecognized syndrome—chronic loneliness—brings it out of the shadow of its cousin depression, and shows how this subjective sense of social isolation uniquely disrupts our perceptions, behavior, and physiology, becoming a trap that not only reinforces isolation but can also lead to early death. He gives the lie to the Hobbesian view of human nature as a “war of all against all,” and he shows how social cooperation is, in fact, humanity’s defining characteristic. Most important, he shows how we can break the trap of isolation for our benefit both as individuals and as a society.

Together: Why Social Connection Holds the Key to Better Health, Higher Performance, and Greater Happiness


Vivek H. Murthy - 2020
    The good news is that social connection is innate and a cure for loneliness. In Together, the former Surgeon General will address the importance of community and connection and offer viable and actionable solutions to this overlooked epidemic.

The War for Kindness: Building Empathy in a Fractured World


Jamil Zaki - 2019
    We struggle to understand people who aren't like us, but find it easy to hate them. Studies show that we are less caring than we were even thirty years ago. In 2006, Barack Obama said that the United States was suffering from an "empathy deficit." Since then, things seem to have only gotten worse.It doesn't have to be this way. In this groundbreaking book, Jamil Zaki shares cutting-edge research, including experiments from his own lab, showing that empathy is not a fixed trait--something we're born with or not--but rather a skill that can be strengthened through effort. He also tells the stories of people who embody this new perspective, fighting for kindness in the most difficult of circumstances. We meet a former neo-Nazi who is now helping to extract people from hate groups, ex-prisoners discussing novels with the judge who sentenced them, Washington police officers changing their culture to decrease violence among their ranks, and NICU nurses fine-tuning their empathy so that they don't succumb to burnout.Written with clarity and passion, The War for Kindness is an inspiring call to action. The future may depend on whether we accept the challenge.Praise for The War for Kindness"A wide-ranging practical guide to making the world better."--NPR"Relating anecdotes and test cases from his fellow researchers, news events and the imaginary world of literature and entertainment, Zaki makes a vital case for 'fighting for kindness.' . . . If he's right--and after reading The War for Kindness, you'll probably think so--Zaki's work is right on time." --San Francisco Chronicle"In this landmark book, Jamil Zaki gives us a revolutionary perspective on empathy: Empathy can be developed, and, when it is, people, relationships, organizations, and cultures are changed."--Carol Dweck, author of Mindset

Listen Like You Mean It: Reclaiming the Lost Art of True Connection


Ximena Vengoechea - 2021
    We hear just enough of what others say to get our work done, maintain friendships, and be polite with our neighbors. But we miss crucial opportunities to go deeper--to give and receive honest feedback, to make connections that will endure for the long haul, and to discover who people truly are at their core.Fortunately, listening can be improved--and Ximena Vengoechea can show you how. In Listen Like You Mean It, she offers a listening guide with tried-and-true strategies honed in her own research sessions and drawn from interviews with marriage counselors, podcast hosts, life coaches, journalists, filmmakers, and other listening experts. Through Vengoechea's set of scripts, key questions, exercises, and illustrations, you'll learn to:Quickly build rapport with strangersAsk the right questions to deepen a conversationPause at the right time to encourage vulnerabilityNavigate a conversation that's gone off the rails.

Mastering Stand-Up: The Complete Guide to Becoming a Successful Comedian


Stephen Rosenfield - 2017
    Here, Stephen Rosenfield lays out a clear plan for achieving success, candidly explaining what works, what doesn’t, and why. Including a 12-item “Successful Comedian’s To-Do List,” Rosenfield states, “Get undeniably good at each of these and you can kiss your day job good-bye. You will be a pro.” The New York Times heralded Stephen Rosenfield as “probably the best known comedy teacher in the country.” His alumni include some of today’s most prominent comedians and comedy writers, such as Lena Dunham, Jim Gaffigan, Eric Slovin, and Jessica Kirson. Rosenfield has directed, coached, and/or written for these and hundreds of other comedians. As a pioneer in the field of teaching comedy, he founded the American Comedy Institute, the premier stand-up comedy school in the United States, in 1989.

The Power of a Positive No: How to Say No and Still Get to Yes


William Ury - 2007
    Every day we find ourselves in situations where we need to say No–to people at work, at home, and in our communities–because No is the word we must use to protect ourselves and to stand up for everything and everyone that matters to us. But as we all know, the wrong No can also destroy what we most value by alienating and angering people. That’s why saying No the right way is crucial. The secret to saying No without destroying relationships lies in the art of the Positive No, a proven technique that anyone can learn. This indispensable book gives you a simple three-step method for saying a Positive No. It will show you how to assert and defend your key interests; how to make your No firm and strong; how to resist the other side’s aggression and manipulation; and how to do all this while still getting to Yes. In the end, the Positive No will help you get not just to any Yes but to the right Yes, the one that truly serves your interests. Based on William Ury’s celebrated Harvard University course for managers and professionals, The Power of a Positive No offers concrete advice and practical examples for saying No in virtually any situation. Whether you need to say No to your customer or your coworker, your employee or your CEO, your child or your spouse, you will find in this book the secret to saying No clearly, respectfully, and effectively. In today’s world of high stress and limitless choices, the pressure to give in and say Yes grows greater every day, producing overload and overwork, expanding e-mail and eroding ethics. Never has No been more needed. A Positive No has the power to profoundly transform our lives by enabling us to say Yes to what counts–our own needs, values, and priorities. Understood this way, No is the new Yes. And the Positive No may be the most valuable life skill you’ll ever learn!

Situations Matter: Understanding How Context Transforms Your World


Sam Sommers - 2011
    The world around you is pulling your strings, shaping your innermost instincts and your most private thoughts. And you don't even realize it.Every day and in all walks of life, we overlook the enormous power of situations, of context in our lives. That's a mistake, says Sam Sommers in his provocative new book. Just as a museum visitor neglects to notice the frames around paintings, so do people miss the influence of ordinary situations on the way they think and act. But frames- situations- do matter. Your experience viewing the paintings wouldn't be the same without them. The same is true for human nature.In Situations Matter, Sommers argues that by understanding the powerful influence that context has in our lives and using this knowledge to rethink how we see the world, we can be more effective at work, at home, and in daily interactions with others. He describes the pitfalls to avoid and offers insights into making better decisions and smarter observations about the world around us.

Let's Talk About Hard Things


Anna Sale - 2021
    You know the one. The one that you’ve been avoiding or putting off, maybe for years. The one that you’ve thought “they’ll never understand” or “do I really want to bring that up?” or “it’s not going to go well, so why even try?” Sale is the founder and host of WNYC’s popular, award-winning podcast Death, Sex, & Money or as the New York Times dubbed her “a therapist at happy hour.” She and her guests have direct and thought-provoking conversations, discussing topics that most of us are too squeamish, polite, or nervous to bring up. But Sale argues that we all experience these hard things, and by not talking to one another, we cut ourselves off, leading us to feel isolated and disconnected from people who can help us most. In Let’s Talk About Hard Things, Sale uses the best of what she’s learned from her podcast to reveal that when we dare to talk about hard things, we learn about ourselves, others, and the world that we make together. Diving into five of the most fraught conversation topics—death, sex, money, family, and identity—she moves between memoir, fascinating snapshots of a variety of Americans opening up about their lives, and expert opinions to show why having tough conversations is important and how to do them in a thoughtful and generous way. She uncovers that listening may be the most important part of a tough conversation, that the end goal should be understanding without the pressure of reconciliation, and that there are some things that words can’t fix (and why that’s actually okay).