Sheltered by her overbearing father, Louisa has years of catching up to do and can think of no better person than gorgeous Sam Rawlins to show her. Is she ready for the time of her life? Hell, yes.Ordinarily unflappable adventure guide Sam Rawlins makes his living showing the wealthy how to have fun, but nothing in his experience could have prepared him for the "adventure" Louisa Honeycut asks for. He might be showing Louisa the time of her life, but the quirky little snack-cake heiress is soon turning Sam's own life upside down...and perversely, he likes the new vantage point.

    With the unpredictable wit and engaging warmth that has won her a loyal following, and the undeniable star quality that has made her television series an instant hit, Ellen DeGeneres brings her unique comic perspective to the page in a book of simple yet brilliant observations, outrageous dreams, and hilarious life stories.

    He’s always wanted what his parents have: a good marriage, lots of kids, and financial security. He thought he’d have the first two with his ex-girlfriend while the third would come once he got his house-flipping business off the ground. When his ex doesn’t subscribe to his five-year plan, he makes Cook Brothers Construction his sole focus.Then he moves next door to April Williams, a sassy single mom he can’t stop riling up. Throw in her matchmaking mother-in-law, who’s set her sights on Jamie being April’s knight in a leather tool belt, and a house threatening Jamie’s sanity, and it should be a recipe for disaster, but Jamie wants this three-month project to last forever. That’s if he can stop being the neighbor from hell and prove to April he’s not just flipping a house — he wants to flip her heart.

    So when Elton D Philpotts lands his dream Space Corps accountancy job he can’t help wondering how it happened. And why. Somebody in the Space Corps must need him, and they need him bad. But the work is dull; nothing like the glamour job he expected. Until he sees things he should not have seen: A hidden ledger, dodgy accounting transactions, bogus gate receipts. And when a whole starship disappears, who are they going to blame? A frantic race across the Sphere of Influence takes Elton and his hapless band of followers into adventure and dangers none of them could ever have imagined. Deep Space Accountant is the first book in the forthcoming Sphere of Influence series.

    Chelsea Handler, 1.5 oz. Nora Ephron, finish with a twist of Tina Fey, and you get Ali in Wonderland, the uproarious, revealing, and heartfelt memoir from acclaimed actress and comedian Ali Wentworth. Whether spilling secrets about her quintessentially WASPy upbringing (and her delicious rebellion against it), reminiscing about her Seinfeld “Schmoopie” days and her appearances on The Oprah Winfrey Show, The View, and The Tonight Show with Jay Leno, or baring the details of starting a family alongside husband George Stephanopoulos, one thing is for sure—Ali has the unsurpassable humor and warmth of a born storyteller with a story to tell: the quirky, flavorful, surprising, and sometimes scandalous Ali in Wonderland.“Ali Wentworth is funny and warm and crazy all at once. Like Barbara Eden. But on something. Like crystal meth.” —Alec Baldwin

    Show with Bob and David, and many other seminal TV shows. This book, his first, is a spleen-bruisingly funny omnibus that ranges from absurdist monologues (“Martin Luther King, Jr’s Worst Speech Ever”) to intentionally bad theater (“Hitler Dinner Party: A Play”); from avant-garde fiction (“Obituary for the Creator of Madlibs”) to free-verse poetry that's funnier and more powerful than the work of Calvin Trillin, Jewel, and Robert Louis Stevenson combined.Odenkirk's debut resembles nothing so much as a hilarious new sketch comedy show that’s exclusively available as a streaming video for your mind. As Odenkirk himself writes in “The Second Coming of Jesus and Lazarus,” it is a book “to be read aloud to yourself in the voice of Bob Newhart.”

    Fun, flirty, sweet and sassy - always with the perfect happy ending.Each story is 8,000 to 11,000 words in length (approximately 32-44 typical book pages in length. 53,000 words total, or 210 typical book pages.)The stories include:"The Hot Girl's Friend"How can a plain Jane find love when her best friend is a curvy blonde man magnet?Jane usually busies herself during a night on the town, fending off the men lusting after her gorgeous friend Miranda. When Brady the bartender overhears her inspired, ludicrous excuses, he resolves to hook up Jane with his friends. But Jane would be quite happy with him. Pine along as Jane tries to find her own happily ever after."Wrong Place, Right Guy"She's in the wrong place at the wrong time. Can the guy who saves her be Mr. Right? Or will his past keep them apart?When Kristen is jumped in a parking lot, Tony jumps in to save the day. While she thinks her hero could also be her heartthrob, Tony's worried his past is reason to stay apart. Will the good guy get the girl in the end?"Not You"One night with a stranger - gets even stranger the next day.Single, lonely Carly thinks the best way to handle her mother's third wedding is by throwing her own bachelorette-party-for-one the night before. What's the harm in her first one-night stand ever? She'll find out the next day."Desperately Seeking Cupid"Does she finally have the key for finding love?Brianna has tried everything to find love - with no luck. So she's turning to feng shui to bring romance to her world. Too bad the guy she's after thinks its bunk. Will her formula for love work - or blow up in her face?"Never Been Dumped"It's a relationship with an expiration date and it's going to go bad.Rachel hates breaking hearts. She's never been dumped, and she's tired of being the one to walk away. But a handsome stranger in town for the summer promises he'll dump her after their summer fling. Will they be able to say goodbye?Flirts! Five Romantic Short Stories to make you smile and swoon. Look for Beach Flirts! 5 Romantic Short Stories due out in late summer 2011.

    In Will My Cat Eat My Eyeballs?, best-selling author and mortician Caitlin Doughty answers the most intriguing questions she’s ever received about what happens to our bodies when we die. In a brisk, informative, and morbidly funny style, Doughty explores everything from ancient Egyptian death rituals and the science of skeletons to flesh-eating insects and the proper depth at which to bury your pet if you want Fluffy to become a mummy. Now featuring an interview with a clinical expert on discussing these issues with young people—the source of some of our most revealing questions about death—Will My Cat Eat My Eyeballs? confronts our common fear of dying with candid, honest, and hilarious facts about what awaits the body we leave behind.

    . . but rarely acknowledging.Filled with insights and observations that instantly ring true—and could have come only from Nora Ephron—I Remember Nothing is pure joy.

    I nod stiffly to give no indication I know exactly, who that is. I’m shocked to hear that name in this setting, at this stage of my life, the one far away from Cambridge, Massachusetts over five years later.”Advertising Exec, Clarity Parker thought she’d never see Baron Ford again. Five years ago, they shared the date of her life and then he literally vanished into thin air. Now he’s back and has asked that she, exclusively, be assigned to his multi-million dollar account.On the day the fog rolls in, not only can she no longer avoid him but she can no longer avoid herself. See, Clarity has an ability that she’s run away from her entire life. She’s learning an ability like hers doesn’t come for free, and something or someone is trying to make her pay for it with her life.Her world is soon turned upside down after she escapes to a place called Enu. It’s here Clarity learns who and what she truly is. She also learns that Baron Ford is Baron Ze Feldis; he’s a vampire, and what bonds them runs deeper than anything she can ever imagine. Their bond is further tested when they end up not only battling Baron’s psycho ex-vampire girlfriend, who wants Clarity dead but also “the evil” as they journey in search of the book which holds the Prophecy of the Seven Seeds. One thing’s for sure, from this point on, their lives will never be the same.**Edited on 10/24/2011 – If you have the previous version, please email Customer Service to request the most updated version. If you purchased the Ebook on Smashwords, you can simply download the most up-to-date version.

    Slow and Steady collides with Ms. Full-Speed-Ahead they're both in for the wildest ride of their lives.The forecast is smooth sailing for Oliver Chancellor, scion of Galveston's premier financier. Destined to take his place in the hallowed marble corridors of his family's bank, Chance is content with the future that's been mapped out for him, right down to his upcoming engagement to a prim debutante enthusiastically approved by his socialite mother.But when beautiful Rory St. Claire crosses his path, Chance recklessly plunges into uncharted territory with nothing but his heart to guide him-and a beautiful woman to tempt him.Propelled by a lifelong goal to buy the island home reportedly haunted by her colorful ancestors, Rory desperately needs Chance's help in securing a business loan, and she won't take no for an answer. In the midst of convincing the hesitant blue blood to take a chance on her dream, Rory unexpectedly lands in Chance's arms, stunned by his red-blooded passion-and her own awakened desire. Now, the mismatched pair can't keep their hands off one another, and something tells Rory she's headed for trouble-trouble in the name of love."I had a blast reading Falling for You... As long as Julie Ortolon is writing books like this, romantic comedy is in good hands." --All About Romance"A thoroughly delightful, fast-paced romance about what happens when opposites attract. And the setting is so vividly drawn, you feel part of the surroundings. A lovely story!" --Old Barn Gazette"Full of humor... Very entertaining and well worth your time!" --Huntress Book Reviews

    All her life she's been cursed-- every man she's ever kissed has turned into a toad. Love isn't likely to come her way, she knows.If that weren't a big enough problem, her 'curse' has come to the attention of the Council of Magic and she may never be able to use her powers.Enter the perfect man-- handsome, sweet, and loves food just as much as Cindy does. It would seem to be a match made in Heaven, or is it?Cindy isn't the only one keeping secrets.With toads, cupcakes, romance, magic and ice cream, life never has time to get dull!

    human cohabitation conundrums. It's the perfect gift for crazy cat lovers and anyone who appreciates hilarious (and so true!) insights into cat—and human—nature, including:Your cat sits on your laptop not just for warmth or attention, but to prevent you from interacting with the outside world. After all, isn’t the main reason to have a cat so you don’t have to waste time developing normal human relationships? If you spent a third of your life licking yourself, you too would occasionally forget to stick your tongue back in your face. Eating grass has medicinal purposes, and most cats believe grass should be legalized. The cat feels bad about barfing on your bed…because now it must get to up to go sleep on your clean laundry instead.

    Inspired by her own feline's instinct to hunt and supported by her studies abroad, Thomas examines the life actions, as well as the similarities and differences of these majestic creatures. Lions, tigers, pumas and housecats: Her observations shed light on their social lives, thought processes, eating habits, and communication techniques, and reveal how they survive and coexist with each other and with humans.

    With her mom in prison, and her father AWOL, Katie is sent to live with a squeaky-clean family who could have their own sitcom. She launches a full-scale plan to get sent back to the girls’ home when she finds herself in over her head...and heart. When Katie and her new "wrong crowd" get into significant trouble at school, she finds her punishment is restoring a historic theater with a crazy grandma who goes by the name of Mad Maxine. In the midst of her punishment, Katie uncovers family secrets that run deep, and realizes she's not the only one with a pain-filled past. Katie must decide if she'll continue her own family’s messed up legacy or embrace a new beginning in this place called In Between.