At the perpetual age of 650, this is really no longer an option. The Full Moon Event Paulie Vergen is a Vampire living the daily grind of life until a fateful day when a newly infected Werewolf landed on his doorstep. All Paulie wanted was peace and quiet, but life didn't often seem to care about his plans. He's now faced with helping the poor Werewolf navigate through the Underworld in order to find the help that he needs. Bob the Zombie Bob is a Zombie who was just going about his business when a band of thieves stole his hand so that they could make a batch of Elfagra in the Upperworld. While it's bad enough that they've stolen Bob's hand for such a purpose, it comes to the Zombie's attention that if the bad guys use the wrong technique it could cause a cosmic rift that will spell the real death of Bob...not just the long, drawn out one that's part of being a Zombie. Gappy's Gadgets Gappy Whirligig is an industrious Gnome who has yet to reach the Age of Tinkering. In a flash, Gappy's life flips upside down, leaving him to make the decision to either strike out on his own or become a 42-year-old foster child. Gappy demonstrates his industrious spirit as he leaves Hubintegler's rules and regulations behind and instead seeks to make his mark in the seedy town of Planoontik.These stories get their influence from Terry Pratchett's Discworld, Robert Asprin's Myth Adventures, Monty Python, and countless other comedic mediums. This omnibus edition includes the first four books in the Tales from the Land of Ononokin series. You'll get wizards, vampires, werewolves, dwarves, elves, gnomes, orcs, ogres, giants, gorgans, humans, trolls, zombies, and more ... and it's all set in a fantastical world that will keep you giggling for weeks.

    She's never short of advice, a kind word and a cup of tea (making sure to scald the teapot first, of course).Bring the coat anyway. If it's too hot you can take it off.Comedian Colm O'Regan explores the phenomenon of the Irish Mammy and what she might say about everything from the 'new mass' to the cardinal sin of not owning a cough bottle and the importance of airing clothes properly. The global influence of the Irish Mammy, through history, science, politics and literature, is undeniable. Did you know, for instance, that Hamlet had an Irish Mammy?So if you're an Irish Mammy, have one, know one or suspect you might be turning into one, this book will act as your guide. But be aware that though this book might think it knows it all, it doesn't, only Mammy knows it all.

    It rejoices in men and women made of the Wrong Stuff: writers who believed in the power of words, but could never quite find the rights ones; artists and performers who indulged their creative impulse with a passion, if not a sense of the ridiculous, an eye for perspective or the ability to hold down a tune; scientists and businessmen who never quite managed to quit while they were ahead; and sportsmen who seemed to manage always to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. Like Walter Oudney, one of three men chosen to find the source of the River Niger in Africa, who could not ride a horse, nor speak any foreign languages and who had never travelled more than 30 miles beyond his native Edinburgh; or the explorer-priest Michel Alexandre de Baize, who set off to explore the African continent from east to west equipped with 24 umbrellas, some fireworks, two suits of armor, and a portable organ; or the Scottish army which decided to invade England in 1349 - during the Black Death. Entries include: briefest career in dentistry; least successful bonding exercise; most futile attempt to find a lost tribe; most pointless lines of research by someone who should have known better; least successful celebrity endorsement; least convincing excuse for a war; worst poetic tribute to a root vegetable; least successful display of impartiality by a juror; Devon Loch - sporting metaphor for blowing un unblowable lead; least dignified exit from office by a French president; and least successful expedition by camel.

    While his colleagues are out saving the world, Bob's under a desk restoring lost data. His world was dull and safe - but then he went and got Noticed. Now, Bob is up to his neck in spycraft, parallel universes, dimension-hopping terrorists, monstrous elder gods and the end of the world. Only one thing is certain: it will take more than a full system reboot to sort this mess out ...This is the first novel in the Laundry Files.

    Rowling (the HARRY POTTER series), Darren Shan (CIRQUE DU FREAK), R.L. Stine (the GOOSEBUMPS series), and Stephen King (IT)! Volume Three in the PETER AND THE MONSTERS series! Follow the adventures started in PETER AND THE VAMPIRES (Volume One) and PETER AND THE WEREWOLVES (Volume Two)!Tragedy has struck Peter’s best friend Dill. In his effort to help, Grandfather might have actually made things worse. But help is on the way in the form of a new ally, and important information surfaces that might explain the Curse now haunting Peter and his family. In this volume, Peter battles more supernatural mayhem, including:A scientist who pieces together a family of monstrous creations…A pack of small creatures that kill the local baker, and plan to make Peter their next victim…Peter’s own dark side, which rears its ugly head in a violent rampage…A mysterious ‘snow demon’ out of Native American legend that menaces Peter on a ski trip…And a couple of ‘walking dead’ who try to put Peter in the morgue during a visit to the hospital. The PETER AND THE VAMPIRES series is for teens and adults who, when they were kids, were looking for stories that kicked butt. The protagonist might be young, but the stories are dark, funny, and edge-of-your-seat suspenseful.PETER AND THE FRANKENSTEIN is the third in an ongoing series that includes PETER AND THE VAMPIRES (Volume 1) and PETER AND THE WEREWOLVES (Volume 2). This book is 150,000 words (450+ pages) and contains some mild language, violence, and scary situations.

    His work has been seen by millions—no, hundreds of millions—in the pages of Playboy, The New Yorker, Punch, The National Lampoon, and many other magazines; there is no telling, really, how many readers he has corrupted or comforted. He is revered for his playfully sinister take on childhood, adulthood, men, women, and monsters. His brand of humor makes you laugh until you cry. And it’s about time that a collection of his cartoons was published that did justice to his vast body of work.When Gahan Wilson walked into Hugh Hefner’s office in 1957, he sat down as Hefner was on the phone, gently rejecting a submission to his new gentlemen’s magazine: “I think it’s very well-written and I liked it very much,” Hefner reportedly said, “but it’s anti-sin. And I’m afraid we’re pro-sin.” Wilson knew, at that moment, that he had found a kindred spirit and a potential home for his cartoons. And indeed he had; Wilson appeared in every issue of Playboy from the December 1957 issue to today. It has been one of the most fruitful, successful, and long-lived relationships between a contributor and a magazine, ever.Gahan Wilson: 50 Years of Playboy Cartoons features not only every cartoon Wilson drew for Playboy, but all his prose fiction that has appeared in that magazine as well, from his first story in the June 1962 issue, “Horror Trio,” to such classics as “Dracula Country” (September 1978). It also includes the text-and-art features he drew for Playboy, such as his look at Madame Tussaud’s Wax Museum, his take on our country’s “pathology of violence,” and his appreciation of “transplant surgery.”Wilson’s notoriously black sense of comedy is on display throughout the book, leaving no sacred cow unturned (an image curiously absent in the book), ridiculing everything from state sponsored executions to the sober precincts of the nouveau rich, from teenage dating to police line-ups, with scalding and hilarious satirical jabs. Although Wilson is known as an artist who relishes the creepy side of modern life, this three-volume set truly demonstrates the depth and breadth of his range—from illustrating private angst we never knew we had (when you eat a steak, just whom are you eating?) to the ironic and deadpan take on horrifying public issues (ecological disaster, nuclear destruction anyone?).Gahan Wilson has been peeling back the troubling layers of modern life with his incongruously playful and unnerving cartoons, assailing our deepest fears and our most inane follies. This three-volume set is a testament to one of the funniest—and wickedly disturbing—cartoonists alive.Nominated for two 2010 Will Eisner Comic Industry Awards (Best Archival Collection/Project: Strips; Best Publication Design).

    Whether you're carving evil messages into your coworker's banana peel or telling your kids that, yes, raisins are actually dehydrated people, there's a certain, sinister-yet-fun draw to really messing with people. In Perhaps I’ve Said Too Much (the much anticipated follow-up to the heralded, award-winning Things Go Wrong For Me), Rodney Lacroix gives the reader some insight on what it's like to live the prankster life. No one is safe, including Rodney himself as not all of his antics go entirely as planned. Join him as he spins some yarns, gives you some new ideas and lets you relive the catastrophic consequences of jokes gone terribly wrong. Complete with original hand-drawn artwork and graphics, one-two punch Brain Nuggets, and the ever-popular Draw Something Files, Perhaps will not disappoint.* (Assumes you are an immature child who enjoys potty humor and making fart noises with your armpits.)

    In her trademark bossy, witty, and authoritative way, Miss Manners gives advice that will make the big day more pleasant for one and all, including the bride. 15 line drawings.

    They shout out to him: 'good luck, and don't get slurped up!'. It's about to get even weirder at the castle where there is a battle of wills going on between the mysterious Count and what he terms, the 'blood-sucking b*tches!' in the village, led by the infamous van High-Heelsing. But who will prevail on the runway? As each kween sashays towards the jugular, the reader is taken on a journey to the ultimate lip sync for your life finale.

    I should not line dance under the influence, and I think we both know that now. I owe you for letting me borrow that really expensive evening clutch with the feathers. I had no idea puppies liked feathers.I owe you for that really poor financial advice I gave to you. It was loud on the subway, but I thought I heard that guy in the suit say, "Buy Enron." I owe you for Brad. Let's not talk about him ever again. You're smart. You're funny. You text just the right amount. You're the one person who tells my about the thing in my teeth without sounding just a little bit superior. You're the best. You're the Best is a thank-you note to female friends, the women we call when the best things in our lives happen—or the worst. Written by two generations of Satellite Sisters, this beautifully packaged hardcover book explores how we rely on our friends to get us up, get us going, get us through, and, most importantly, get us laughing. It makes a superb gift for friends, sisters, mothers, daughters, and granddaughters.The Satellite Sisters—Julie, Liz, Sheila, Monica, and Lian Dolan—are five sisters who believe that a sense of connection is what gives meaning to our lives. The Dolan sisters created Satellite Sisters first as a nationwide radio show and website. Now, the Satellite Sisters connect with a blog, a podcast, books, personal appearances, and social media; joining them regularly are their cadre of twenty-something nieces. After winning twelve Gracie Allen Awards for excellence in women's media, they still have plenty more to say.

    BASIC ROLEPLAYING is designed to be intuitive and easy to play. While character attributes follow a 3D6 curve, most of the other BASIC ROLEPLAYING mechanics are even simpler. Virtually all rolls determining success or failure of a task are determined via the roll of percentile dice.

    Most of all, it’s about the difficulties of staying on the planet when it’s spinning out of control.While taking a humorous look at health, grandparenthood, computers, and social issues, How to Succeed… answers such pressing questions as: What brand of yogurt guarantees you will live to 110? Can older people really shop online, or is the "submit order" button visible only to users under 30? And how many pixels does it take to win your grandchild’s affection?As we get older, we can whine or complain about our losses--memory, muscles, and mobility--or we can roll with the paunches. This book rolls.

    One of the chapters in each trivia book was “Disturbing Facts about Our World”. I decided to fill an entire volume with facts about upsetting crimes and mayhem, combined with unbelievable yet real instances of misfortune and misery. This is a book where grim examples of bigotry and hypocrisy are intertwined with amusing stories of bad luck. In the spirit of the times we live in, I dedicated a whole chapter to COVID-19 trivia and weird medical conditions. I am well aware that many potential readers might be overwhelmed by the condensed negativity, but hey… a fact is a fact! Continue to read if you are curious to learn:- Why were the trousers of New Zealand’s farmers exploding?- What is the depressing origin of the phrase “Hip Hip, Hooray”?- Why did the Spanish Habsburgs royal family sleep with human mummies?- Why was it legal in Iceland until 2015 to kill Basque people?- Who was the “Deep Throat” informer from the Watergate scandal?- How many people were killed trying to cross the notorious Berlin Wall?- Why do snakes make a better pet than cats or dogs?- How can millipedes cause a train crash?- What is the etymology of “thug”?- What are the chances of getting killed by rubbish falling from space?- How did polygamist men in Kuwait manage to visit all their wives during the coronavirus lockdown?However incredible these pieces of trivia might sound, all entries have been verified and fact-checked.

    1 Bestselling Thriller and Shamus Award Winning Author Vincent Zandri Comes a Brand New Private Detective Series. "The Embalmer is dying to meet you..." You might think that a guy with the name of Steve Jobz would be one lucky man. That he'd be rich and have the world at his fingertips. But instead, Jobz is barely making ends meet at the New York State Department of Unemployment Insurance Fraud. A former cop who was forced to retire early after shooting a young man of color during a convenience store holdup, Jobz has since resigned himself to wasting away his days in a four-by-four cubicle inside an office space that's more boring than watching the paint dry. ˃˃˃ But when his overbearing boss calls him in on a job that the Albany Police Department is heading up, Jobz has a chance to get out of the office for a while. But what he doesn't realize is that he's about to come face to face with a serial killer who embalms his victims alive. What he is also about to face down, is his own worst nightmare come true when that serial killer turns out not to be a stranger. ˃˃˃ The Embalmer culminates with an explosive climax and promises to keep readers glued to their chairs for hours. The novel combines wry humor with some serious hard-boiled action, adventure, and romance. For fans of Michael Connelly, Robert B. Parker, Charlie Huston, Jim Crumley, Lee Child, Brett Battles, and more. ˃˃˃ Gritty, fast-paced, lyrical and haunting. - Harlan Coben, New York Times bestselling author of Six Years. Tough, stylish, heartbreaking. -Don Winslow, New York Times bestselling author of Savages. Scroll up and grab a copy of The Embalmer today.

    Ivankovic, H.P. Lovecraft's The Call of Cthulhu (for beginning readers) from Chaosium.com.108 pages, hardback - and in full color!