Dear President Trump: 50 Satirical Letters from Phoenix to the White House


William Friese - 2020
    

Cassius: The True Story of a Courageous Police Dog


Gordon Thorburn - 2009
    Things did not go according to plan in Sleightholm's first years as a police dog handler. The difficulties of finding and keeping the right dog were so great that he was ready to give up. Then Cass came along. The two of them quickly formed a bond, graduated as stars from the training school, and became an outstandingly effective working partnership. Cass became part of the Sleightholm family, too. Car thieves, armed robbers, drug dealers, murderers, burglars—Cassius learned to find them, contain them, intimidate, and attack if he had to. Sometimes it was dangerous for him. Usually it was more dangerous for the criminal. The story of Cassius is by turns thrilling, funny, and moving, and always a fascinating insight into the freemasonry of police dog training.

Why Do Dogs Drink Out of the Toilet?: 101 of the Most Perplexing Questions Answered about Canine Conundrums, Medical Mysteries & Befuddling Behaviors


Marty Becker - 2006
    And after you read Why Do Dogs Drink out of the Toilet?, it will make perfect sense to you, too. Award-winning pet experts Dr. Marty Becker and Gina Spadafori take you on a trip into the canine mind. And it's not at all a scary place. . . .Dogs live to smell, to feel good, to clarify their relationship with other dogs (and with us), to love, to laugh. When you start looking at the world their way, everything falls into place. Of course they drink out of the toilet--the water is fresher. Sniffing another dog's behind is just like reading their resume, except you know nothing is made up. Barking at the letter carrier makes him go away--every single time! And rolling in stinky stuff just smells like heaven. (Because what smells heavenly is, after all, a matter of taste.)The better you understand dogs, the easier it is to love the pooch on your couch. Find out why hunting dogs don't mind suppressing their basic instinct, how assistance dogs for the blind get their job done, why little dogs like to mix it up with big dogs, and everything you always wanted to know about canine sex but were afraid to ask.You'll also find the answers to questions that tend to tickle your curiosity: How do dogs get into dog shows? Which breeds are made in America? Do some dogs really have dreadlocks? Do all dogs need a backyard? How did Lassie always find her way home?You've got questions? This book's got answers.

Awkward Moments (Not Found in Your Average) Children's Bible - Vol. 2


Horus Gilgamesh - 2014
    awkward! There are verses we'd like to forget or that have been changed throughout the centuries. There are many verses you've never heard before in church, let alone seen in your average children's Bible! Not to mention the verses that have been added over the centuries!Most people were raised in the faith chosen by their family. Young children learn a few Bible stories taken out of context and accept them without question. (On what basis could they possibly question their parents or church leaders?) After decades of repetition and tradition, it's understandable that we might put our beliefs on auto-pilot and just nod as a pastor repeats the verses and ideas that are already familiar and comfortable to us. It's no wonder that recent studies show an incredible lack of Biblical knowledge among Christians - 55% unable to even name the four Gospels of the New Testament - the very foundation of Christianity!The Goal? Awkward Moments encourages readers to really understand what is in their Bibles and think for themselves about the context of Biblical teaching. The 32 color illustrations and included commentaries will likely challenge some readers to reflect on how religion continues to shape the lives and culture of future generations. If readers happen to laugh out loud in the mean time - it's just an added bonus!Skeptical about a verse? Crack open your favorite Bible and read along to share the Good News with friends!REMEMBER: Don't blame us, it's in the Bible!

Guide to Troubled Birds


Matt Adrian - 2012
    We are only just discovering the reality of our avian adversaries, with their reptilian brains, their appetites for mayhem and the fact that they fly mostly to spite us. To ignore the information found within this volume may be at the peril of your very life.

Toddlers Are A**holes: It's Not Your Fault


Sopha King Tyerd - 2014
    Delve deep into the mind of these creatures and learn what makes them tick.

Chicken Soup for the Soul: What I Learned from the Dog: 101 Stories about Life, Love, and Lessons


Jack Canfield - 2009
    Join Wendy Diamond, editor in chief of Animal Fair magazine, judge on Greatest American Dog, pet rescue advocate, author, regular expert on Today and general dog-lover and read 101 heartwarming, amusing, and inspirational stories about our best friends and faithful companions — our dogs.You’ll see your own dog with a new eye through these true stories about: the amazing intuition and intelligence of dogs dogs teaching us to enjoy every day learning to put things in perspective dogs changing people’s lives learning to say goodbye fabulous rescue dogs therapy dogs

Bumper to Bumper


Doug DeMuro - 2016
    Bumper to Bumper is newer, longer, and better, touting mostly original stories that include the time Doug crashed his brand-new Porsche company car into a tree, the real story behind the time Doug crushed a Chrysler PT Cruiser, the time Doug bribed a government official in South Africa, the time Doug got detained at the Canadian border on an automotive press trip, and the story of Doug’s relationship with automakers. Also, Doug wrote this description himself in the third person.

My Dog: The Paradox: A Lovable Discourse about Man's Best Friend


Matthew Inman - 2013
    This eponymous comic became an instant hit when it went live on The Oatmeal.com and was liked on Facebook by 700,000 fans. Now fans will have a keepsake book of this comic to give and to keep.In My Dog: The Paradox, Inman discusses the canine penchant for rolling in horse droppings, chasing large animals four times their size, and acting recklessly enthusiastic through the entirety of their impulsive, lovable lives. Hilarious and heartfelt, My Dog: The Paradox eloquently illustrates the complicated relationship between man and dog.We will never know why dogs fear hair dryers, or being baited into staring contests with cats, but as Inman explains, perhaps we love dogs so much “because their lives aren’t lengthy, logical, or deliberate, but an explosive paradox composed of fur, teeth, and enthusiasm.”

You Tell Your Dog First


Alison Pace - 2012
    And then, she got Carlie—a feisty and fluffy West Highland white terrier. She could weed out bad boyfriends with a sniff of her button-black nose and win the hearts of lifelong friends with an adoring gaze. Suddenly, Alison had a constant companion and confidante, who went with her on long morning rambles in Central Park, on trips to the country and the beach, and on her search for inner peace, love, and happiness. Through Carlie, Alison found herself connected to the world as never before.With her trademark warmth, wit and humor, Alison shares her stories…the tales of a dog person who found her dog.

Marching Bands Are Just Homeless Orchestras


Tim Siedell - 2010
    The bookstore or library is half full of that kind of crap. What you're holding here is a collection of quips and observations with a refreshingly gloomy, sometimes twisted, always funny take on life. Or lack thereof.With illustrations by renowned artist Brian Andreas, this book is a glimpse inside the humorously askew mind of a writer whose witticisms have been featured on NPR, printed onto t-shirts, performed on stage in Germany, and posted online at the Washington Post, Wall Street Journal, and New York Times. He's been named one of the top funniest people on Twitter by the likes of Maxim, MSNBC and Mashable.

The Reluctant Farmer of Whimsey Hill


Bradford M. Smith - 2016
    That is what troubles animal-phobic, robotics engineer Smith who just got married. He learns that his bride’s dream is to have a farm where there are lots of animals and she can rescue ex-race horses to retrain and find them new homes. But according to a Meyers-Briggs Personality Test that they took for fun, their marriage is doomed. There is only one problem: the newlyweds took the test after the wedding. Whether Smith is chasing a cow named Pork Chop through the woods with a rope, getting locked in a tack room by the family pony, being snubbed by his wife’s dog, or unsuccessfully trying to modernize their barn using the latest technology, the odds are stacked against him. It seems like everything with four legs is out to get him. Will the animals win, forcing Smith to admit defeat, or will he fight to keep his family and the farm together? Enjoy the true, warm, and frequently hilarious stories of Smith’s journey along the bumpy road from his urban robotics lab to a new life on a rural Virginia farm.

Doodle Diary of a New Mom: An Illustrated Journey Through One Mommy’s First Year


Lucy Scott - 2015
    Despite her extensive pre-baby research, nothing prepared her for the momentous task of caring for this new little person. Featuring dozens of funny moments like baby's first lunch out to a forensic view of the living room, this charming doodle collection includes 120 two-color illustrations and is the perfect gift for Mother's Day, baby showers, or year-round fun. Also included are a few doodling prompts in the back of the book so moms can doodle their own first-year memories.

In a Daze Work: A Pick-Your-Path Journey Through the Daily Grind


Siobhan Gallagher - 2017
    From small-talk to dating to death, In A Daze Work is an exciting, playful new spin on the minute and mundane decisions that make up your daily life. Each flip of the page puts you in control of the story: Will you stay in or go out? Do you wake up or sleep in? How will you navigate a bad date, or a party full of cookie-cutter couples (available in vanilla flavor only)? More importantly, where will your decisions take you? Bringing humor and sly self-reflection to the humdrum details of adulthood with hand-drawn illustrations and sharp wit, this relatable visual journey will help you find the extraordinary (or at least hilarious) moments in any day of the week.

DIY Dog Grooming, From Puppy Cuts to Best in Show: Everything You Need to Know, Step by Step


Jorge Bendersky - 2014
    Trust Jorge and he’ll show you how to groom your dogs right.” –Cesar Millan With a foreword by leading expert in dog behavior Cesar Millan, best known for his Emmy-nominated television series Dog Whisperer with Cesar Millan, DIY Dog Grooming offers easy-to-follow, expert instruction on every aspect of grooming.  Master dog groomer to the stars Jorge Bendersky bathes, brushes, trims, and pampers some pretty important pooches. Nevertheless, the fundamental skills and techniques he uses every day in his Manhattan salon can and should be in every dog owner’s repertoire. From breed identification to tool selection, clipping to scissoring, Bendersky shares, in his unmistakably playful way, the tricks of his trade:Simple, step-by-step instructions for everything from bathing to brushing.Practical solutions to common problems like fleas and ticks, dirt and mud.Creative suggestions for grooming a picture-perfect dog.How to use items from your pantry for grooming when pet store products are not available.With DIY Dog Grooming as your guide, your canine companion will never again suffer a bad hair day.