But I wrote a lot of good poems.”So maintains Anita Liberty, the caustically funny New York City performance artist who was going along happily healing her hurt by hating and humiliating her detestable ex-boyfriend on stage and in print until the unthinkable happened: she had a good date. And one good date deserves another. And another. And another. And, all of the sudden, Anita Liberty finds herself in a predicament. Getting dumped launched Anita’s career–Will falling in love finish it? Who’s more important: her devoted audience or her newly devoted boyfriend? And on top of everything, Hollywood won’t stop calling and Anita can’t figure out if It wants a serious commitment or just a little bit of no-strings-attached fun. From digging mercilessly into the minutiae of her new relationship to dramatically torching every professional bridge she crosses in L.A., Anita refuses to let a big load of bliss get dumped right in the middle of her career path.“He said that my work was amazing and hilarious and smart and that he can’t wait to see me perform.So I had sex with him.”“My boyfriend asked me to change my look.To something other than contemptuous.”{BARGAIN} Whatever Hollywood ends up paying me for the rights to the story of my life.“It’s easier to go back to fantasizing about perfection . . .than to accept that perfection is just a fantasy.”“Boyfriend thinks I’d rather be right than happy.Boyfriend’s right.But I’m not telling him that.”Through blog entries, film scenes, poems, and to-do lists, Anita Liberty documents the perils and pitfalls of dating, sex, relationships, artistic success, and the kind of true love that sucks the creative life out of you to the point where you just end up staring at a blank computer screen and thinking gooey thoughts about your new boyfriend even though you should be writing.

    But are they? He is probably the only man who has ever requested the recipe for an airline’s lasagna or wanted to enjoy his flight with an inflatable rubber woman sat on his knee. Prepare to meet the man who must have his diet of stir-fried mulberry leaves accommodated and the man who left his false teeth on a flight and is sure he recognized them on a later flight—in a flight attendant's mouth. Ravenscroft's correspondence tackles travel annoyances like excess baggage charges alongside more surreal letters, such as the one starting out asking an Australian airline if they offer an authentic Australian experience (for instance, Australian cuisine or in-flight movies) which then moves on to the question of at what age a baby is safe from being swallowed by a dingo.

    Break out of your shell and live boldly. All the goals you have, all the people you are jealous of, and the life you want to live are unlocked by one simple key: Bulletproof Confidence . Everybody wants it, but how do you get it? Not just “fake it ‘til you make it” or “just smile more.” Bulletproof Confidence is filled with real, actionable advice for your life TODAY. It’s not generic, borderline useless advice you can read in any blog post online. This book will take you on a deep dive into the depth of confidence, self-perception, and the psychology of confidence – understand yourself so you can break through your mental barriers. Everything from psychology, biology, and even cognitive behavioral therapy is referenced in giving you the tools to feel more invincible on a daily basis. Finally feel comfortable in your own skin. Patrick King is an internationally bestselling author and sought-after social skills coach and trainer. He was also one of the plumpest children you’ve ever seen, and understands the pains and processes of confidence like few others. This book was written by someone who knows exactly what you’re facing and how you’re hurting. In addition, a companion workbook is here for your disposal: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1974210154 Quiet the voice in your head and live how you want to. - Learn the subconscious triggers that make you fearful and what to do about them. - Smash imposter syndrome, analysis paralysis, and perfectionism. - The life-changing magic of taking action. - How to change your self-perception and feedback loops. Become bolder, more fearless, and good enough. - How to prepare yourself for any obstacle. - Mindsets for success and mindsets to avoid. - How cognitive behavioral therapy can help you. - Why to embrace the zone of “mere discomfort.” Stop thinking about the “what ifs” in your life. Because confidence will turn them all into inevitabilities. Your goals, your social circle, your relationships, your career, and your life – confidence is the key. Confidence creates the life you want and lets you smash through goals, while making sure you never feel invisible, waste your potential, or feel paralyzed from anxiety. Say goodbye to fear and anxiety TODAY by scrolling up and clicking the BUY NOW button! Don't forget the Workbook as well: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1974210154

    The joys and travails of building a home in Baja California.

    And that's exactly the way he likes it, except when he doesn't. Every week in the Los Angeles Times and Chicago Tribune (and now and then in many other papers), Erskine distills, mocks, and makes us laugh at the absurdities of suburban fatherhood. And now, he's gathered the very best of these witty and wise essays—and invited his kids (and maybe even Posh) to annotate them with updated commentary, which they promise won't be too snarky. This handsome book is the perfect gift for the father who would have everything—if he hadn't already given it all to his kids.

    When she reaches her unplanned destination, self acceptance, you’ll shout hallelujah!

    Why, specifically?”“I like to build things.”As of the time of writing, more than ten million copies of E L James’ “Fifty Shades of Grey” have been sold worldwide. Whether you find this notion inspiring or terrifying, there’s no escaping the fact that, as literary events go, “Fifty Shades of Grey” is at least...significant. And books that are...significant...deserve to be subjected to thorough critical and textual analysis. By taking it apart into teeny tiny small pieces and put those pieces under a spiteful and mean-spirited microscope, we may all just learn something about the elusive nature of the bestseller,“Lighter Shades of Grey” is a chapter-by-chapter dissection of “Fifty Shades of Grey”, cataloguing unusual leaps of logic, surprising deductions, exciting exchanges of dialogue, recurrent motifs and stand-out moments, that will allow you to better appreciate / enjoyably ruin for others the “Fifty Shades” experience. It also provides definitive answers to questions such as “How often does Ana say ’oh my’?”, “How often do people’s mouths fall open in surprise?” and “Is Christian Grey a diagnosable psychopath?”Building on the viral hit blog-entry, “Fifty Things That Annoy Me About Fifty Shades Of Grey”, “Lighter Shades of Grey” is the perfect snarky companion to this year’s most inexplicable blockbuster. (Approximately 31,000 words; 30 pictures)

    

    Flip-flops are optional. All of your favorite hilarious Fun Stories gathered together in one place! Plus, extended versions of many of your laugh out loud favorites. PRAISE FOR FUN STORIES: “The offbeat & heartwarming humor kept me turning pages due to its rollicking adventures in every chapter. Your friends, loved ones, and co-workers will enjoy it too." "It's very funny and on point observational humor” “Has me laughing from beginning to end” "Similar to Dave Barry, Eric Idle, and Stephen Colbert's humor" “This guy's funny and charmingly off the wall” "Always thought coffee could get me through the midweek blues, but this blows it out of the water" "I love Fun Stories. Fantastic!" "Awesome stuff, really enjoyed the horse names. Great read." "Excellent and hilarious material here" INCLUDES ALL OF THESE AND MANY MORE: "Chick-fil-A Makes Me Feel Like Leonardo DiCaprio" "The Least Amount of Fame Possible (Old MacDonald)" "Cub Scout Dropout" "Not the Next Carrie Underwood" "Bigfoot Popcorn" "Gatorade For Your Soul" "Shamelessly Suggestive City Names" "I'm the Freakin' Michael Phelps of Googling" "Alright, Alright, Alright!" "Mind Game of Thrones" "Happy Friday (Mr. Pee Man)" "Clown Commuter Award" "How NASA Thins The Herd" "Crunchy Roads, Take Me Home" "Good Folks, Bad Coaching" "Ultimate Waitress Revenge" "Battle of the Bands" You'll be smiling for hours as the pages turn themselves. Three Fun Stories books have hit #1 on Amazon Humor. Five audio tracks from this book have hit the top 10 on the iTunes comedy chart. Click to download the book and start the fun! Need more info? If you enjoy the humor of these folks, you'll love reading Fun Stories Greatest Hits: Dave Barry, Dilbert, David Sedaris, Stephen Colbert, Carl Hiaasen, Christopher Moore, Jim Gaffigan, Tina Fey, Amy Poehler, Jerry Seinfeld, Eric Idle, Erma Bombeck, Sebastian Maniscalco, Mindy Kaling, Jen Lancaster, Amy Lyle, The Far Side, Kevin Allison, Rainn Wilson, B.J. Novak, Sloane Crosley, Jimmy Fallon, Steve Martin, Judd Apatow, Adam Mansbach, Justin Halpern, Reader’s Digest, Dad Jokes, Garfield, Saturday Night Live, Friends, and The Office. Download Fun Stories Greatest Hits to start your next comedy adventure! Enjoy Fun Stories video posts at www.facebook.com/FunStoriesSeries. Get a free Fun Pack at www.mentalkickball.com. HUMOR, HUMOR & ENTERTAINMENT, PARENTING & FAMILIES, PARODIES, SATIRE, ESSAYS, SHORT STORIES, CELEBRITY & POPULAR CULTURE, COMEDY, CULTURAL, ETHNIC & REGIONAL, CARTOONS, JOKES & RIDDLES, MEN, WOMEN & RELATIONSHIPS, TRAVEL, POP CULTURE, RADIO, TELEVISION, PERFORMING ARTS, FUNNY BOOKS, HUMOR ESSAYS, FUNNY SHORT STORIES, FUNNY MEMOIR, HUMOR MEMOIR, FUNNY BOOK CLUB BOOKS, FUNNY ESSAYS, HUMOR BOOKS, HUMOROUS BOOKS, GIFTS FOR DAD, FUNNY GIFTS, LAUGH, LAUGH OUT LOUD, FUN, FUN, FUN, MORE COWBELL COWBELL

    More than a decade's worth of essays by the Pulitzer Prize winning syndicated columnist capture the essence of big city American life, from neighborhood taverns to backroom politics.

    • Exhausting—when you realize you’ll most likely never sleep again--like EVER. • Explosive—OMG these kids spew from both ends! And that’s just the beginning. Whitney shares the ridiculous highs and excruciating lows of her catapult into motherhood. Enjoy the ride as this new mom vows to give up profanity while falling in love with… you guessed it, Costco. Be careful, because if you’re anything like Whitney, you may just pee a little. Motherhood Martyrdom & Costco Runs takes the reader on a roller coaster of emotions as Whitney plummets into postpartum depression, desperately tries to get her kids to stop yodeling in public restrooms, and comes to terms with the fact she’ll never quite be queen of her own kingdom. Get ready to laugh, cry, cheer, and pat yourself on the back for the sake of mommies everywhere. And while you’re at it, stop by Costco for a case of toilet paper and a Very Berry Sundae. You won’t regret it!

    How much do you know about farts?Did you know it would take just nine farts from every person on earth to power an atomic bomb? That fish farts nearly triggered a war against Russia? That female farts smell worse? No? Then you need this book!Did you know that inhaling farts is healthy, yet people fart after death? That you can get a job as a professional fart smeller? That farting is illegal in Africa but polite in South America? Heard any ancient Babylonian fart jokes lately? No? Then you need this book!Do you know the fartiest animal on earth? The fartiest food? Know how many farts you inhale on a cross-country flight? Can farts power astronauts through space? You don’t know? Then you need this book!Do you secretly think farts are not only funny, but fascinating? Then you absolutely need this gas-powered encyclopedia of fun and flatulent facts! Makes a perfect gag gift or bathroom read.Crack open a can of beans and become an expert in the windy and wacky science, history, and art of musical gas!

    Face it, sometimes a standard curse word or expletive just won't do. Whether you're annoyed with your neighbor, agitated with your boss, or tired of your lazy roommate, this unique two-flap flipbook of totally uncensored and socially unacceptable phrases will provide endless possibilities for creative and colorful vocabulary. Unleash the immaturity and skewed sense of humor within and never be left searching for a clever comeback again.

    Why else would you be looking at this book? If you have ever wanted to see behind the front lines of retail, this is the book for you. If you want to validate your own experiences in retail, this is the book for you. If you just want to laugh at humorous things from funny people, this is the book for you. Packed full of true short stories from working in one of these super stores, only one conclusion can be reached in the end: Wal-Mart is the craziest place on Earth!

    It only hits the news in times of mishap but behind the scenes of this hugely popular and vibrant city are hundreds of ex-pats living the dream of a life in the sun.John Kean’s hilarious book, ‘Lost Wife, Saw Barracuda – True Stories from a Sharm el Sheikh Scuba Diving Instructor’ is an inside fly-on-the-wall look at the ups and downs of swapping the rat race for a life in Sharm el Sheikh. It is frank, honest and gripping in sometimes epic proportions, but the humor and magnetic appeal of Sharm el Sheikh and Egypt shines through every time in this beautifully written true story.Over a decade, this mild-mannered, ex-stockbroker has been chased by aggressive sharks, had a 737 airliner drop from the sky into the sea, broken four bones, been arrested three times and finally, blown up by terrorists. On the plus side, Sharm el Sheikh’s outstanding natural appeal, year round sun and amazingly talented and friendly community of Egyptian and ex-pat residents has made it a home from home, free of the stresses of everyday life in Europe.Unlike other fly on the wall or ‘inside’ books, John actually takes you along with him for the ride. His accounts are genuine, highly informative and very funny. Turning tragedy and mishap into humor is the book’s strength and you’ll find a laugh on nearly every page.The story is heavily upstaged by the comical antics of five, highly entertaining characters coming to terms with neutral buoyancy, hangovers and Egyptian taxi drivers. The legendary exploits of the latter are awarded an entire chapter where we’re introduced to, Airbag, Sharm el Sheikh’s worst driver and in contrast, Joseph, who takes up the offer of a job swap, gives John his taxi and becomes a scuba diver for the day!The most dramatic chapter of Lost Wife, Saw Barracuda is the vivid, minute-by-minute account of dive staff involvement during the Sharm bombings in July 2005. This rare civilian insight of a grand scale terrorist attack shows the human cost of those caught up and the tremendous resolve of unlikely rescuers in preventing further loss of life.Despite occasional tragedy, Lost Wife, Saw Barracuda is a positive book that will thrill and entertain, portray scuba diving as an engaging and enjoyable sport and show readers the brighter side of Sharm el Sheikh and Egyptian life. Anyone can read and enjoy this wonderfully funny story.