Lost in Suburbia: a Momoir: How I Got Pregnant, Lost Myself, and Got My Cool Back in the New Jersey Suburbs


Tracy Beckerman - 2013
    But her new life as a stay-at-home mom knocks her for a loop in more ways than one. From the embarrassment of being ticketed while driving in her bathrobe to the challenge of making friends in the land of big hair and minivans, Beckerman shares her struggles with self-deprecating humor as she endeavors to reclaim her cool.Beckerman reveals the universal trials, tribulations, and triumphs of every mom who has to figure out how to stay sane while fishing Barbie heads out of the toilet; how to laugh when your kid asks the fat cop at the doughnut shop if he’s having a baby; and how to look good when your post-baby butt is so big you want to hang a “Caution: Wide Load” sign behind you.At once irreverent, hilarious, and keenly observed, Lost in Suburbia is about what you give up to become a mother—and what you get back.

An Incomplete and Inaccurate History of Sport: . . .and Other Random Thoughts from Childhood to Fatherhood


Kenny Mayne - 2008
    Ostensibly an A-to-Z encyclopedia of all known sports, many sports are never mentioned. There’s not a word about rugby, volleyball, Roller Derby, swimming, or (shockingly) Basque pelota or shinty. There is a chapter about sliding, but none about skiing. Competitive eating and rhythmic gymnastics will have to wait for another book. However, there are roughly eight chapters about tackle football–“the greatest sport in the world, and everyone knows it”–and a good four or five about horse racing, so quit complaining before you’ve even read the book. There will be plenty of time for complaining after you’ve finished it (about an hour from now–tops).Those sports that are covered in the book are examined with exhaustive inattention to unretained detail. Many chapters have nothing to do with sport. For instance, the chapter on hunting is about hunting for a hassle-free triple tall Americano light on the water.So, then, what exactly is this book-like thing you hold in your hands? Part nostalgic memoir (like the summer Mark Sansaver hit 843 home runs in backyard Wiffle ball), part Dave Barry—esque riffs (like explaining bocce to non-Italians), part scholarly tract (includes the origins of tackle football), and part metafiction (see “Time-outs”). . . all with illustrations drawn by Kenny’s daughters, it is what Kenny calls his anti coffee-table book, or Coaster. The publisher calls it $24.95. Reviewers like Michiko Kakutani may call it “insipid,” but because Kenny has included a revolutionary “backwords” following the book’s foreword, she’ll have to call it an “insipid breakthrough” of a book.So what is this book-like thing? Like the great mysteries in life, you’ll have to decide for yourself.*That would include a thought I just had. This thought had something to do with Wiffle ball. What a great chapter. But that’s not to say the chapter on hunting is terrible even though it’s mostly about coffee. Plus I wrote stuff about my children. There’s even a chapter on jai alai. This book has both still photographs and still illustrations. It doesn’t have any moving pictures. That would have required the inclusion of a projector and a big white screen in the book, and I’m trying to take a stand on energy conservation. Strangely enough, Ken Griffey Jr. asked me if the book would have video. This will make sense when you read the chapter on him.I wish I'd written about the Seattle Pilots. I used to go to their games when I was nine. My favorite player was Tommy Harper.  But this isn't just a sports book. It covers all sorts of things. I hope they place it in the Miscellaneous section. That should draw a lot of attention.  I was told that the presence of a sub-title would sell more books. How am I doing with you? Make sure to tell people about this alluring and informative sub-title. This sub-title is longer than some of my chapters.From the Hardcover edition.

I Drink for a Reason


David Cross - 2009
    Known for roles on the small screen such as "never-nude" Tobias Funke on "Arrested Development "and the role of "David" in "Mr. Show With Bob And David, "as well as a hugely successful stand-up routine full of sharp-tongued rants and rages, Cross has carved out his place in American comedy. Whether deflating the pomposity of religious figures, calling out the pathetic symbiosis of pseudo-celebrity and its leaching fandom, or merely pushing the buttons of the way-too-easily offended P.C. left or the caustic, double-standard of the callous (but funnier) right, Cross has something to say about everyone, including his own ridiculous self. Now, for the first time, Cross is weaving his media mockery, celebrity denunciation, religious commentary and sheer madness into book form, revealing the true story behind his almost existential distaste of Jim Belushi ("The Belush"), disclosing the up-to-now unpublished minutes to a meeting of Fox television network executives, and offering up a brutally grotesque run-in with Bill O'Reilly. And as if this wasn't enough for your laughing pleasure in these troubled times, some of the pieces splinter off with additional material being created online in exclusive video and animated web content created solely for the book-a historical first (presumably)! With a mix of personal essays, satirical fiction posing as truth, advice for rich people, information from America's least favorite Rabbi and a top-ten list of top-ten lists, I DRINK FOR A REASON is as unique as the comedian himself, and cannot be missed.

The World and I, Vol. 1: A Woman, Several Suitcases, 65 Countries.


Cassia Meare - 2017
    This is her story... Told with humor and insight into countries where she lived for months, The World and I is comprised of the real adventures of Cassia Meare as she jumps from country to country for work and learns to rely on herself. In the first volume she is sent to Algiers right after being hired and gets a scorpion as a marriage proposal in the Sahara; she travels from glorious St Petersburg all the way to Sakhalin in Russia just as it is emerging from communism -- without forgetting to stop at the casinos of Siberia; she falls in love with Istanbul and meets crazy Sergei and his gun in Kiev; she works with a very handsome man in Vladivostok -- only to travel on with him to stunning Rajasthan. Get an insider's view on Madrid, Rome, Palermo and find out more about Warsaw, Prague and what is in Azerbaijan. There will be information on culture, sights, history -- but most of all there will be the people Meare finds along the way, often the most memorable things about her trips. You'll laugh, discover things about places you might never go to, or which have changed beyond recognition since then. You'll also find out about some of the world's most beautiful spots. Just don't expect this book to teach you how to travel for less...

Sea Trials: Around the World with Duct Tape and Bailing Wire


Wendy Hinman - 2017
    Not for the Wilcox family. To triumph, they must rebuild their boat on a remote Pacific island. Damage sustained on the reef and a lack of resources haunt them the rest of the way around the world as they face daunting obstacles, including wild weather, pirates, gun boats, mines and thieves, plus pesky bureaucrats and cockroaches as stubborn as the family. Without a working engine and no way to communicate with the outside world, they struggle to reach home before their broken rig comes crashing down and they run out of food in a trial that tests them to their limits.

Tibetan Peach Pie: A True Account of an Imaginative Life


Tom Robbins - 2014
    Madcap but sincere, pulsating with strong social and philosophical undercurrents, his irreverent classics have introduced countless readers to hitchhiking cowgirls, born-again monkeys, a philosophizing can of beans, exiled royalty, and problematic redheads.In Tibetan Peach Pie, Robbins turns that unparalleled literary sensibility inward, weaving together stories of his unconventional life–from his Appalachian childhood to his globe-trotting adventures–told in his unique voice, which combines the sweet and sly, the spiritual and earthy. The grandchild of Baptist preachers, Robbins would become, over the course of half a century, a poet interruptus, a soldier, a meteorologist, a radio DJ, an art-critic-turned-psychedelic-journeyman, a world-famous novelist, and a counterculture hero, leading a life as unlikely, magical, and bizarre as those of his quixotic characters.Robbins offers intimate snapshots of Appalachia during the Great Depression, the West Coast during the sixties' psychedelic revolution, international roving before Homeland Security monitored our travels, and New York publishing when it still relied on trees.Written with the big-hearted comedy and mesmerizing linguistic invention for which Robbins is known, Tibetan Peach Pie is an invitation into the private world of a literary legend.

Please Tell Me I'm On Mute


Romi Brenner - 2012
    Maintaining her sense of humor amid bathtime hysteria, birthday cake pop carnage and botched early morning conference calls, Brenner takes her readers through a series of hilarious adventures in modern parenting and family life. Join Brenner and find out why she won't let her husband go couch shopping on his own, why she is looking into buying stock in salt water taffy and how she lost her mind to motherhood, but why she doesn't mind at all.

Let's Pretend This Never Happened: A Mostly True Memoir


Jenny Lawson - 2012
    Jenny Lawson realized that the most mortifying moments of our lives—the ones we’d like to pretend never happened—are in fact the ones that define us. Lawson takes readers on a hilarious journey recalling her bizarre upbringing in rural Texas, her devastatingly awkward high school years, and her relationship with her long-suffering husband, Victor. Chapters include: “Stanley the Magical, Talking Squirrel”; “A Series of Angry Post-It Notes to My Husband”; “My Vagina Is Fine. Thanks for Asking”; “And Then I Snuck a Dead Cuban Alligator on an Airplane.” Pictures with captions (no one would believe these things without proof) accompany the text.

Paw Prints In Oman: Dogs, Mogs and Me


Charlotte Smith - 2014
    But playing tennis, avoiding coffee mornings and being a perfect wife and mother in the Middle East is not enough. Charlotte convinces a local veterinary clinic to employ her and throws herself into assisting the vets, overcoming her fear of birds and rehoming hundreds of stray cats and dogs. Cyclones, earthquakes, transvestites, unwanted paramours, cultural differences, tears and laughter follow as seven years flash by. Will Charlotte stay, or gather up the motley crew of pets she has collected and head for home? Charlotte was born, raised and lived in West Sussex, UK, with her children, animals, Aga and husband until 2006. She dreamed of spending time with Colin Firth, or Gordon Ramsey, and couldn't wait for Christmas to come around for Love Actually to be on the TV. But then she was dragged off to live in Oman, in the heart of the Middle East, where coffee mornings and sets of tennis soon gave way to a life of animal rescue and re-homing. Her first book, Paw Prints in Oman, is full of wonderful stories and unique insights into her life in this mystical land.

Weird Al Yankovic: The Kindle Singles Interview (Kindle Single)


Mara Altman - 2014
    Among other topics, Al opened up about his nerdy childhood, his late-night writing binges, his gut-wrenching reach for movie stardom, and his hopes for his latest album, Mandatory Fun. He also discussed his future plans to have a drug problem. The interview was conducted by Mara Altman, the author of five bestselling Kindle Singles including “Baby Steps,” “Bearded Lady,” and the Kindle Singles Interview with Tom Robbins. Altman has worked as a staff writer for The Village Voice, and has also written for New York Magazine, The New York Times and Salon. In 2009, HarperCollins published Altman's first book, “Thanks For Coming: A Young Woman's Quest for an Orgasm,” which was optioned as a comedy series by HBO. Cover design by Adil Dara

The Nepali Flat


Gordon Alexander - 2016
    Place him in the high Himalaya. Then laugh at him!Join Gordon in Nepal as he drags his ‘heavy arse’ over the Himalayas in this hilarious, adventure-soaked account of the Three Passes Trek.Together with guide Subash and porter Nima, Gordon tackles high passes in excess of 17,500 feet and explains how high altitude affects a mildly-overweight bloke from sea level in the tropics.Each part of the journey brings new challenges including sub-freezing temperatures, almost falling into a crevasse, and alarmingly warm beer. Along the way he discovers the local Kukri Rum, traverses glaciers, interacts with eccentric and curious characters, and takes in the most beautiful views on the planet (pictures included).

French Fried: one man's move to France with too many animals and an identity thief


Chris Dolley - 2010
    French Fried is the unfortunately true account of Chris Dolley's first eight months in France and has been described as 'A Year in Provence with Miss Marple and Gerald Durrell.'Just when Chris and Shelagh think nothing more could possibly go wrong, they discover that Chris's identity has been stolen and their life savings - all the money from their house sale in England that was going to finance their new life in France - had disappeared. A bank account had been opened in Chris's name in Spain to take the proceeds. Then they're abandoned by the police forces of four countries who all insist the crime belongs in someone else's jurisdiction. The French say it's an Irish crime as that's where the money was held. The Irish say it's French as that's where all the correspondence came from. The British say it's nothing to do with them even though forged British passports were used to open the bank account in Spain. And the Spanish are on holiday - and can't even think about investigating any bank account for at least four weeks. So Chris has to solve the crime himself. But unlike fictional detectives he has an 80 year-old mother-in-law and an excitable puppy who insist they come along if he's going anywhere interesting - like a stakeout. REVIEWS"This was a fantastic read. It had me laughing so much that I nearly got relegated to the sofa! Once I had started reading this book, I could not put it down, I was even quite happy to miss my favourite TV programmes!" - Bookmarked "When I downloaded this book this morning, I had every intention of putting it on my phone and reading it in dribs and drabs. And now I appear to have finished the book! The best thing about 'French Fried' is it's sense of humour; warm, self-deprecating, and very British. Literally laugh out loud in several places (I'm glad I'm the only one home!)." - Librarything "Chris Dolley's humour reminds me of James Herriot at times, with my husband shushing me in the middle of the night. I could not put this book down and enjoyed it immensely. The characters, especially Nan, were life-size." - Salammi"I can't think of anybody who wouldn't love this book! Well written, easy to read and laugh out loud funny!" - Brenda, Amazon

A Simple Life: Living off grid in a wooden cabin in France


Mary-Jane Houlton - 2021
    They were already used to a simple life, having spent the last three years living on their boat in France for the summer seasons, and returning to the UK and their caravan for the winters. This tiny cabin would now be their new home for the winter months, taking them a step further along the road to self-sufficiency. They had no electricity, no kitchen, no bathroom or bedroom and the loo was a bucket in a shed, but the property came with five acres of field and woodland.From now on their lives would be simple, pared back to the basics, but they found that an off-grid lifestyle was by no means an uncomfortable experience. Responsibilities didn’t disappear but they changed, becoming less onerous. There was more time to think, and to appreciate the natural world around them. Living in such rural isolation, each day brought something new to marvel at: deer browsing in the field at dusk, salamanders on the doorstep, owls calling by night.If their own world felt increasingly magical, the outside world was far from it. They had moved to a foreign country at an historic time, living through a pandemic and adapting to the day-to-day implications of Brexit.A Simple Life doesn’t just follow Mary-Jane and Michael as they settle into their new lives, it also raises questions about what really matters to people. What makes us happy? How does it feel to have few possessions? Will life become unbearable without a flushing toilet?Thought-provoking and amusing, this book opens a window onto a different way of living. Mary-Jane shares a wealth of information and, if you have ever found yourself longing for a simpler life, this might tempt you to take those first tentative steps on the journey.

How Not To Be a Boy


Robert Webb - 2017
    Rules for being a man:Don't Cry; Love Sport; Play Rough; Drink Beer; Don't Talk About FeelingsBut Robert Webb has been wondering for some time now: are those rules actually any use? To anyone?Looking back over his life, from schoolboy crushes (on girls and boys) to discovering the power of making people laugh (in the Cambridge Footlights with David Mitchell), and from losing his beloved mother to becoming a husband and father, Robert Webb considers the absurd expectations boys and men have thrust upon them at every stage of life.Hilarious and heartbreaking, How Not To Be a Boy explores the relationships that made Robert who he is as a man, the lessons we learn as sons and daughters, and the understanding that sometimes you aren't the Luke Skywalker of your life - you're actually Darth Vader.

Confessions of a Prairie Bitch: How I Survived Nellie Oleson and Learned to Love Being Hated


Alison Arngrim - 2010
    Though millions of Little House on the Prairie viewers hated Nellie Oleson and her evil antics, Arngrim grew to love her character—and the freedom and confidence Nellie inspired in her.In Confessions of a Prairie Bitch, Arngrim describes growing up in Hollywood with her eccentric parents: Thor Arngrim, a talent manager to Liberace and others, whose appetite for publicity was insatiable, and legendary voice actress Norma MacMillan, who played both Gumby and Casper the Friendly Ghost. She recalls her most cherished and often wickedly funny moments behind the scenes of Little House: Michael Landon's "unsaintly" habit of not wearing underwear; how she and Melissa Gilbert (who played her TV nemesis, Laura Ingalls) became best friends and accidentally got drunk on rum cakes at 7-Eleven; and the only time she and Katherine MacGregor (who played Nellie's mom)  appeared in public in costume, provoking a posse of elementary schoolgirls to attack them. Arngrim relays all this and more with biting wit, but she also bravely recounts her life's challenges: her struggle to survive a history of traumatic abuse, depression, and paralyzing shyness; the "secret" her father kept from her for twenty years; and the devastating loss of her "Little House husband" and best friend, Steve Tracy, to AIDS, which inspired her second career in social and political activism. Arngrim describes how Nellie Oleson taught her to be bold, daring, and determined, and how she is eternally grateful to have had the biggest little bitch on the prairie to show her the way.